Aurora
by RachelJLewis
Summary: Part 1 of 5: Ness Masen is the new girl at Forks High. Who she is and who she appears to be are two different things. Ness is there to experience being regular teenage girl, but she has strange friends, a freaky bonding she has no choice over and her parents' marriage just disintegrated. Being a teen looked easier in the movies...
1. Chapter 1

**Aurora**

**Chapter**** One: ****Fish**** Out ****of ****Water**

I saw her. You couldn't miss her. The pale skin of her cheek glittered in the sunlight, tiny sparkles catching the morning sun as she walked with another boy, slowly - almost reluctantly - across the parking lot in the direction of the school buildings. Other students were hanging out by their cars, greeting friends they had not seen during the long summer vacation. I had no such friends to catch up with and so headed off in the direction I was required to go, following the strange looking girl at a distance.

She was tall and slim and she was dressed head to foot in black, in contrast to every other girl in the parking lot. They were all embracing the warm September sun, exposing as much flesh as they could. Artificially tanned legs in denim shorts and spaghetti-strapped tops seemed to be the uniform of the day. I'd chosen jeans and a purple top my choice in rough alignment with the rest of the girls. As I followed, the strange girl's hair was caught by the breeze, streaming out behind her like a cape. It was long, almost waist length, poker straight and of the palest blonde. The boy walking next to her was equally blonde, his hair just skimming the collar of his white t-shirt. He was a couple of inches taller than the girl and his slim-cut black jeans emphasised his skinniness.

As I approached the school buildings, I had a pang of nervousness, although there was no reason for that, I knew where I was going. I'd been here yesterday with Charlie when he registered me for the new semester. That had been an interesting introduction to life in Forks and not one that I'd been entirely comfortable with. Mrs Cope in the school office had spent a wearisome amount of time fawning over the remembrance of my cousin and then had made things worse, by inappropriately fawning over Charlie. Although he wasn't married to Sue, they did live together and had done for several years. Surely Mrs Cope knew that?

The girl and boy were going the same way as I was. They peeled off from the line of students going on towards their classes and headed instead for the first building, which had a sign over the door saying FRONT OFFICE. As they reached the door the boy pulled it open and the girl went through. He noticed I was following and waited, holding the door open for me. He greeted me with a smile that reached to his bright blue eyes. I murmured a shy 'thank you' in return for his kindness and darted inside before he let the door close behind us.

The waiting area was overbearingly warm. It was packed with potted plants and filled with the smell of plastic from new chairs, arranged in a row along one wall. The girl was already at the counter and from behind one of the desks on the other side came Mrs Cope. I noticed two other office workers casting wide-eyed looks in my direction. They too had noticed the striking resemblance to my cousin, a previous student here.

Mrs Cope smiled broadly at the girl and boy and then at me too. There was ease and familiarity with them. Obviously, they had been here before.

"Welcome to your first day at Forks High School", she addressed us all. "I see you've already met Vanessa Masen who I mentioned to you yesterday." The woman gestured to me.

"Who?" The girl's head snapped round and she looked at me for a second and then her face relaxed, as if she liked what she saw. "Ah; the _other_ new girl." She gave me a wry smile. She spoke with a strange accent that I couldn't place. It wasn't American and I didn't think it was Canadian either. Where Mrs Cope had told them about me, she hadn't told me about them. I was glad it was something she now rectified.

"This is Jessica and Daniel Taylor." She gestured to them. Brother and sister, obviously.

"Jess. Just call me Jess."

"OK. Jess and Daniel,"

"Dan." Her brother said gruffly, he was over by the notice board now.

Mrs Cope laughed. "Jess and Dan. They have just moved here from England." Mrs Cope's voice conveyed how impressed she was with this. England? Hmm, they didn't sound like the English people I knew. It must be a regional accent.

"Vanessa is from…"

"Ness." I wasn't Vanessa to anyone. Jess turned and smiled broadly.

"Jess and Ness, oh how wonderful! Ness has come to us from New Hampshire. Do you know where that is?" She asked Jess somewhat patronisingly. I was sure people from England had a fairly good grasp of American geography.

"Yes, it's over the other side of the country." Jess held her arm out and pointed in completely the wrong direction – Alaska. I smiled. I wanted Mrs Cope to stop there, but that was too much to hope for. I should've known it wouldn't be too long until the subject of Edward came up.

"Ness is the cousin of one of our most _successful_former students." She emphasised the word successful, but with the red her cheeks were going, I'd bet she was substituting 'successful' for another word in her head. I felt suddenly very protective of my cousin.

"Is she?" Jess looked at me, answering in a tone of bored indifference that mercifully gave Mrs Cope no further opportunity to sing the praises of Edward, much to her clear annoyance. I was glad, Mrs Cope was irritating me and I wrestled with a desire inappropriate for my situation.

I looked away and concentrated instead on Dan. He was still over by the notice board, but now writing something in a small black notebook. Jess must have seen me looking.

"He's my fraternal twin brother," she said. I flicked my eyes back in her direction. "And an eternal pain in the arse." That broke the building tension.

"Oh your accent is wonderful!" Mrs Cope again. "Arse. How cute! Here, we say ass." Jess's face displayed our mutual irritation with Mrs Cope; her pencilled-darkened eyebrows were now somewhere close to her hairline.

"Yeah, I'm sure I'll pick up the lingo soon enough." There was sarcasm there which made me bite back a smile. "So where's our first class then?" Jess's tone said chit-chat was over and it was time to get on.

"Oh yes, schedules!" Mrs Cope exclaimed and bustled off.

"Schedules, _schedules_." Jess muttered, alternating

between the American and the British pronunciation. Mrs Cope returned with schedules and maps of the campus for each of us. She handed them around.

"You're all in Biology together first thing. Oh and Ness? You will be interested to meet your Biology teacher. He was a friend of your cousin." I was waiting for the 'and his wife,' bit, but it didn't come. Bella had been here too. Mrs Cope carried on. "He's new here too; it's his first semester with us". I knew this, I had been warned there was someone here that Edward and Bella knew; Charlie had told me yesterday. I glanced at the name on the sheet. Newton. Yes, he'd been mentioned. My mouth fought back a smile.

Just then, the bell rang for the start of the day.

"Well, you have a good day and if you have any problem at all, you be sure to drop right back in, anytime." The three of us exited the office. Jess was pulling a face.

"Urgh. Are all Americans so nauseatingly gushy?"

"I don't think so." I wasn't the best person to ask about that. Dan was looking at the map of the campus.

"It's over there." He pointed at an unassuming low building, sporting a large white number four on the wall. He strode off in the direction of it.

"Come on," said Jess. "Let's see what the American education system is like." She took a couple of steps forward, stopped and looked back at me. "Oops, I forgot, you're American aren't you?"

I nodded.

"You know how this works."

I shook my head.

Her eyes widened. "No?"

"No. I've been homeschooled up until now. This is my first time in a school." We were both in the same boat, neither of us knowing how this 'worked'.

"Homeschooled? Really? Cool." She expressed an admiration I did not expect and I took the couple of steps to her side. I was inexplicable drawn to her as if she was a magnet. She fascinated me!

More than anything I really wanted a friend in this strange, alien land of High School and I hoped that Jess would want to be mine. What she did next utterly shocked me and for an instant, I froze. She linked her arm through mine as if we'd been best friends forever and looked me squarely in the eyes. Hers, like her brothers were a stunning, almost piercing blue.

"Ok, so here's the deal." She said. "Neither one of us has a clue what we're doing. Me, because I'm new to the country and you; because you've never been in a school before. So, I think we should be fish out of water together. What do you say?"

"I say yes!" Wow. I hadn't expected that making friends would be so easy.

"Great! But you can do the talking, ok? I'm getting thoroughly hacked off with everyone thinking I'm bloody Australian." I laughed and we headed in the direction of Biology.

We entered the building and at the door of the lab, there was a smartly dressed young male teacher greeting each student as they arrived.

"That must be him," said Jess quietly. "He's got N-Q-T written all over him."

"N-Q-T?"

"Newly Qualified Teacher."

"Oh." That wasn't a term I was familiar with, I expected there would be many more.

He certainly did look young, but I knew he was around twenty four, as Edward and Bella had graduated from High School at the same time six years ago.

We stood behind two students, who he welcomed and directed to their seats, there wasn't going to be a free choice where we sat. One glance inside told me that it was one boy and one girl to a table. The students went in and Mr Newton's eyes fell on me. Just like Mrs Cope, I saw his eyes boggle and his mouth fall slightly open. His breath caught.

"I don't need to know who you are; you're the spitting image of Edward Cullen."

So he knew about me too, were there no secrets in Forks? I had only been here two days and already everyone seemed to know about me.

I smiled weakly. "Am I?"

"Yeah!" He still looked quite stunned. I played dumb, but I knew I did look like Edward. It was hard to disown that fact when the pair of us bore a striking similarity to one another, even having the same unusual bronze-coloured hair. Whereas my cousin's hair seemed to scarcely go anywhere near a hairbrush, mine cascaded in thick open curls down my back. Charlie had noticed our similarity immediately.

"The Masens must have strong genes." He'd noted when I'd arrived at his house with Edward and Bella on Sunday.

"So how is… Edward?" Mr Newton asked, recovering himself enough to be polite.

"He's fine, thanks."

"And…?" He scratched his neck. "Is he… still married to Bella?" My teacher's cheeks turned pink, which made me fight back a smile and an urge.

"Yes."

"Did you know that they were in my class when I was here?"

"Yes, Mrs Cope told me."

"Oh, ok." He was obviously disappointed. He clearly wanted to be the one to tell me that.

"Shall I tell them you said hello?" A slightly cheeky thought occurred to me. I wasn't unaware of Mr Newton's fondness for Bella, Edward had joked about it whilst I was living with them.

"Yeah. Um… Tell them… Tell them Mike says hello. Newton. Mike Newton."

"I will. I'm sure I'll speak to them soon. They'll want to know how I'm settling in." I smiled, trying very hard not to flash my teeth at him. I didn't know what was making me do that. Yes, I'd mention him to them; it would cause amusement to Edward at least. Bella would no doubt roll her eyes at her husband's ceaseless gloating. It appeared that Mr Newton was still holding a candle for Mrs Cullen and I found that rather sweet, but it was a hopeless case; Edward and Bella were passionately in love with one another. Sharing a small house with them put you in rather close proximity to that love, sometimes too close. There had been occasions when I had wished that the walls were thicker.

Mr Newton finally noticed Jess. She was checking out the other students in the class and hadn't bothered one iota that he'd ignored her. He marked her present and pointed out her seat towards the back of the room. He directed me to a seat close to the front, next to a gangly-looking boy who was idly digging a hole in the bench. He didn't lift his head to acknowledge my presence when I sat down and carried on gouging the wood with the point of a pair of compasses. Dan was sat behind me, next to a girl with heavy-rimmed glasses and a blush on her cheek. I could see he was already in receipt of her admiring glances.

From where I was sat it wasn't easy to look around the room, but I glanced about at my fellow students as and when I could. One thing I noted quite plainly; I held not the remotest bit of interest for them. All eyes were slyly trained on the very out-of-place-looking Jess. She was a beacon of oddity in a room of conformity. Her lab partner was already looking bemused.

The morning passed uneventfully. Considering that this was my first experience of any school, I was pleased that my homeschooling had prepared me well. There wasn't anything I hadn't covered before and sadly nothing new on the list of the set books issued in my English class. I'd read them all. Jess had read them all too, but was gleeful that one of the set books was _Jane__Eyre_.

"You absolutely can't have enough Bronte and_Jane__Eyre__'__s_ my favourite. Closely followed by _Wuthering__Heights,_ of course."

I was pleased we had a love of the classics in common. I'd almost learned to read with the Bronte's and Jane Austen.

I was thankful that none of the other teachers commented on my resemblance to Edward, or made any reference to his academic achievement. They either didn't feel it was something they needed to bring up, or they had arrived at the school since he'd left. I didn't recognise any of the names that Bella and Edward had mentioned and none of my teachers seemed particularly old. They must be all new.

Where I went through the morning without a second glance from anybody, Jess was the subject of frequent stares and pointed comments. There was something about her that unsettled them. She stuck out and they didn't like it. For her part, Jess seemed oblivious to it; happy to find that she could keep up with the work and that they didn't teach wildly different things to England. Some of the looks as the morning wore on became quite hostile, but Jess paid no attention and as we broke for lunch she was in no less a cheery mood than she had been at the start of the day.

I stuck with her. I had no desire to fight my way into one of the large groups of girls in the cafeteria; did they always hunt in packs? Wolves on the look-out for weak and defenceless prey. Perhaps they were unsettled by the thought that Jess might make a bid for alpha female status?

As we queued for food, I looked around at the girls, trying to work out who the current alpha female might be. I quickly found what I was looking for around one particular girl. Girls sat around, heads lower than hers, adopting similar hair styles and clothing. Each of them had an expression that said they would do anything for her, they worshipped her. The alpha female was golden blonde and gorgeous, of the mould of Edward's adopted sister Rosalie. Her eyes were trained on Jess and carried traces of hostility. Why would Jess be a threat to her? From what I'd observed, I didn't think Jess had the desire to be the alpha anything, but that didn't stop this girl sizing up the competition and feeling a bit unsure of her status.

Jess fascinated and intrigued me. In the snatches of conversation we'd managed that morning, she very clearly charted her own course in life; following no one and not caring if she fitted in or if she didn't. I liked that spirit very much indeed. I wanted to know more about her and I was thrilled that I'd met a friend on my first day. Moving to Forks had been a big enough thing, but coming to school had been even bigger. I'd never done this before and had worried a lot in the days beforehand about whether I'd fit in. Bella had reassured me that I would; and she was right, I did fit in. Next to Jess, I looked positively normal.

We bought food and sat down at an empty table. Jess had her back to the alpha girl and I was glad. She shouldn't have to see some of the hostile stares being thrown in her direction. The girl looked at me. I received her questioning stare with as blank a look as I could manage. I seemed to fit in enough to not cause offence to her. Her gaze flicked to a boy, seated in another part of the room and then moved back to Jess, continuing its animosity. Ah, was that the object of her desire? Was she worried that he would prefer Jess over her? Was that it? Mere jealousy? I scoffed.

Now that I was opposite her, I took the opportunity to study Jess more closely. Her face was very pale; only her darkened eyes and lips coated in red lipstick saved her from looking like an overexposed photograph. Her skin had a heavy layer of foundation on it and she'd made no attempt to be subtle. The sparkles I'd noticed this morning were in the face powder she touched up with before she ate.

We were quite different in some regards. While Jess was immaculately made up, I didn't wear make up at all. Jess's hair was straight; mine, whatever I did to it, it seemed to naturally gravitate back into ringlets. Even trying to straighten it was ineffective. We were opposites with our eyes too. My eyes were chocolate brown, the same colour as my mother's had been. Jess's blue eyes looked at odds with the thick rings of black kohl and mascara that outlined them. Even her fingernails were painted back and I wondered why anyone would willingly want their nails to look like they'd gotten them trapped in a door? But Jess's choice of sombre attire was at odds with the sparkling personality she radiated. This fish out of water was confident and happy. She was naturally attractive even if she had hidden her natural self beneath heavy make-up and gloomy clothing. She chatted constantly from the second we left our last class before lunch.

Jess and Dan had arrived in Forks ten days ago from Cumbria in the north of England. Their Dad, Brian, had previously worked for the Lake District National Park and had come to Forks to take up a job in Olympic National Park. He was a specialist in forestry management. Jess said he'd always had a desire to come and work in the States and he was in his element here. Her Mom, or Mum as Jess called her, was called Susie and used to be a Doctor's receptionist before they moved. Jess didn't think her Mum would be getting another job, as her Dad's new job paid so much more.

"She doesn't need to work now and she's dead pleased about it. So what about you then?" Jess crunched loudly through a large red apple. "How come you ended up stranded in Rainyville?

"Rainyville?" I laughed.

"Yeah, haven't you noticed? It does a lot of that here."

"I've not been here long enough to know."

"Trust me. In the ten days we've been here, and bearing in mind we arrived in the middle of August; this is the first nice day we've had. So when did you arrive?"

"Sunday."

"Just two days then? How do you like it?"

"I've not really had the chance to look around. Yesterday was taken up with getting registered for school and sorting my stuff out."

"Dan and I have been hanging out in Fredericks, the diner. It's good, a nice, friendly place. You should come out with us."

"I'd like that."

"The woman in the office said you came from New Hampshire?" Jess thumbed in the direction of the window, in completely the wrong direction again. She was pointing to Hawaii. It made me smile.

"Yeah, I grew up in New Hampshire."

"Your Dad got a new job here too?"

"No. My parents were killed in a car accident last June."

Jess's hand flew to her mouth. "Oh, I'm sorry! The woman in the office didn't say anything about that."

"It's ok." I smiled, but the thought of my parents set my eyes pricking and I fought back tears. I missed them dreadfully and struggled to compose myself.

"That Biology teacher mentioned your cousin?" Jess tactfully changed the subject.

"Yes. He and his wife came to this school and it's because of them that I'm here. Edward's father-in-law offered to look after me whilst I did the last two years of school. It was getting to be a bit of a squeeze in the house, with them and a new baby."

"No other family?"

I shook my head. "No." My Dad and Edward's Dad had a huge falling out before either of us were born and Edward's Dad moved to Chicago. Edward's parents died too when he was only young and he was adopted. When my parents died, the authorities managed to trace Edward and he agreed to be my guardian. I went to live with him and Bella, but the whole teenager, small baby and two adults in a tiny house thing wasn't working. Charlie, Bella's Dad, he's the Chief of Police here; offered to have me come stay with him and his partner Sue."

"That's kind of them."

"Yeah. I'm a long way from home though, as much a fish out of water as you are. This isn't New England."

"Ditto. This isn't England. We really should stick together."

I smiled. "I'd like that."

"And you get on with them OK? Charlie and Sue?"

"It's early days."

Dan came over and sat down next to his sister, picking a slice of pizza off her plate.

"Somebody wants to start a band. I saw a poster in the office earlier. Just spoken to them, could be a goer."

"Oh that's good." Jess speared a carrot stick into her mayonnaise. "Is there room for a keyboard player?"

"I don't know, I'm meeting up with them tonight at the car repair place, they hire some space there to rehearse in. Why don't you come down too?"

"Think I will."

"You both play instruments?" I asked.

They both nodded.

"Dan plays guitar and I play piano and keyboards. Do you play?"

"A little of each. My father tried to teach me the piano, but I wasn't that interested. He plays really well. Oh sorry, played really well." I winced at the slip. "I keep forgetting." I placed my elbow on the table and pinched the bridge of my nose between my fingers. Jess reached over and rubbed my arm.

"It takes time to adjust." She said. "There's nothing wrong with thinking your Dad's still alive. I'm sure he is, if there's a heaven."

I smiled at her "Thanks. I'm sorry. I just miss them so much." I pictured them in my head, thinking of the last time I'd seen them, both waving from the car as they drove off into the night. It still hurt so much.

"So has she bored you rigid about them yet?" Said Dan; biting off a truly enormous mouthful of pizza, which he struggled to chew.

I furrowed my brow. "Bored me rigid about who?"

"You've not mentioned them?" He mumbled with difficulty at his sister. "I'm stunned."

Jess rolled her eyes, stuck her elbow on the table and held her hand out towards me.

"Ness was just telling me about her parents dying, which is why she's stuck in this hole in the first place. Honestly Dan, do you think I have no tact?"

Dan finished his mouthful and swallowed it with difficulty. I could almost see it going down his oesophagus.

"It's rare that you do, you usually launch straight into it as the first topic of conversation. It's usually up right up there with 'Hello, I'm Jess." He turned to look at me. "I hope you like vampires," he gestured his right thumb at his sister, "'cause she's obsessed with them." Jess nodded, smiling weakly as if he'd acknowledged some gross failing in her. "Personally," Dan continued, "I think they're the most boring creatures on the planet."

I laughed. Dan took another bite of pizza and chewed, indicating with his forefinger that he was going to continue. He swallowed and took a sip of Jess's coke. She didn't appear to mind. "I suspect, when they're not killing people, or having sex with the people they're about to kill, that they are out…" he took another pull of coke. "Choosing wallpaper in B&Q."

B&Q? What was that? Dan saw my confusion.

"Oh sorry, B&Q's a British thing. I don't know what the equivalent would be here; B&Q's a gigantic hardware store?

"Home Depot?" I volunteered.

"Ok, Home Depot. So yes; I think that what vampires want you to believe is that it's all about sex and blood and power and…whatever." Dan batted it away as an irrelevance. "But really, all it is an elaborate front to hide a deep desire to choose wallpaper and matching curtains in Home Depot."

Jess rolled her eyes at her brother, but I was laughing, imagining vampires choosing wallpaper in Home Depot and finding it a surprisingly easy thing to do.

"As if!" Jess snapped. "They can't come out during the day, so unless it's a twenty four hour store that's hardly going to happen. What would they need with curtains anyway? They live in coffins."

"Ah," Dan wagged his finger at her. "That's what they _want_ you to think, but actually they live in little country cottages with roses growing around the door. And they have prize begonias."

"No they don't." Jess scoffed.

I chuckled at this imagined picture of vampire domesticity.

"Do they bake cakes too?" I asked Dan.

"Yes! They may give you the idea they are craving blood, but it's really a nice Battenberg they want."

I sniggered.

"And they go mad for fresh bread, can't get enough of the stuff."

Jess tutted and rolled her eyes at her brother.

"So you like vampires?" I asked of her.

She was instantly attentive. "Like them? I'm _obsessed_ by them." She emphasized the word, drawing it in to her like a possession. "Do you?"

My answer, it was clear, would determine whether or not we could still be friends or whether she'd have to go and seek out someone else to be friends with.

"I don't mind them." I replied.

"You don't _mind_them?" She was shocked by my ambivalence. She leaned forward towards me, "But Ness; they're so dark and thrilling and dangerous and sexy. How can you not be drawn to _that_?" She mouthed every adjective specifically and finished by rolling her eyes in ecstasy.

Dan appraised his sister, rolling his eyes in resignation.

"Pathetic." He tutted.

Jess suddenly looked bright-eyed and excitedly at me.

"What are you doing after school?"

I shook my head. "Nothing."

"Can I come round to yours?"

Charlie and Sue would both be out at work. I nodded my head. "Yes."

"I shall introduce you to Alric and have you obsessed with vampires by teatime."

Dan looked at me with pity and shook his head slowly. "Good luck Ness." He attempted to take another slice of his sister's pizza, Jess smacked his hand away.

I was alone in the house for only a few minutes before I saw Jess arriving. She didn't have a car yet as young people couldn't drive until they were seventeen in England, whereas I'd already gotten my licence at sixteen and was the proud owner of a black, three year old Volkswagen Golf, which I kept meticulously clean. I was my father's daughter in that regard. Jess half ran, hair streaming out behind her and bulging bag of DVDs on her hip. I watched her from the kitchen window as she ran up the path and smartly rapped on the door. I went to let her in.

"There are definite advantages to finishing so early in the afternoon," she panted, "you have much more time to watch stuff!" She didn't wait to be asked; she made her way through to the living room and dumped the bag on the sofa, flopping down heavily beside it. "I'm pooped!"

"Coffee?" I asked, leaning against the door jamb, again in awe of the ease with which she made herself at home. Jess nodded eagerly, still breathing heavily from her run.

I poured us both some coffee and brought it back through. Jess was already working out which TV channel the DVD played through. This must be a Jess thing; all other English people I knew were incredibly polite and wouldn't help themselves to your home electronics without asking.

"This is my favourite," she said, waving a box at me, I set the mugs down on the coffee table. "I'm completely in love with Alric. He's just… oh!" Her hand flew to her chest. She dropped the first disc into the tray, pressed close and scooted back to the couch beside me, taking a big loud slurp of coffee. I stared at her a fraction too long and her eyes met mine. "What?"

I shook my head "You're very…" I didn't know how to phrase it. I tried again. "You're not very… English?"

Jess snickered. "You mean I don't talk posh, sit quietly and have manners?"

"Sort of." I didn't want to imply that she was rude; I just hadn't met anyone as different as she was.

"I'm northern. We're a different breed to your average Brit. More forthright and have a very relaxed attitude to life." And as if to demonstrate that, she put her feet up on the coffee table, crossing them at the ankles. She laughed and took them off again.

The DVD worked through its notices and the menu revealed a blonde couple entwined around each other. The woman was human; the man was, I assumed, a vampire. He didn't look superhuman though he just looked ill. It would be hard not to miss someone who was such an unattractive blue-grey dead colour.

Jess selected the first episode and settled back onto the sofa. We met Alric, a thousand year old vampire who, while out hunting for a meal in a forest, happens upon a young human girl who he finds (naturally) very attractive. Alric was tall, slim and to complement his repulsive blue-gray skin, he had a head full of matted blond hair and dressed as if he'd just climbed out of a dumpster. He managed to conquer his desire to kill the girl and plucked up the courage to speak to her. She, in a stunning disregard for her own safety and her parents' warnings not to talk to strangers – especially ones that look like they're suffering from rigor mortis – chatted quite happily with him. By the end of the episode he'd confessed to being a vampire but she didn't care, because she was already head over heels in love with him. I looked at Jess, was this supposed to be a comedy? Jess had a vacant, dreamy look about her which got worse when I looked back at the screen and found them kissing. The episode mercifully ended and Jess turned to me expectantly.

"What did you think? Isn't he just absolutely _gorgeous_?"

"He's a bit rough."

"That's all part of the charm, he's wild!" I didn't offer any further comment and Jess took my silence to mean that I wasn't averse to watching another episode. This one was better; we actually got a hint that Alric was dangerous, when he turned on another man who was sweet on Christianne. The sight of Alric sinking his fangs into the man's jugular was not a sight I could easily watch and I shifted my gaze beyond the TV and fixed it on the new photograph of Edward, Bella and their baby daughter Renesmee that was propped up on the mantelpiece. They had given it to Charlie at the weekend. I looked at the happy little family until I was sure the scene was over. I swallowed hard against an unpleasant feeling that rose up within me. Of course, having killed off his rival he went and sought out Christianne and charmed her into bed. Jess sighed even more devotedly and I couldn't bear to look at Edward and Bella this time, so I examined the cracks in the ceiling on the far side of the room. Charlie would need to get those sorted.

Jess played a third episode, commenting pointedly on Alric's fabulous body during yet another love scene and justifying how he really was the most desirable man on the planet. I really could not see it; he just looked filthy. How could she like a man, who gave the impression that the last time he'd changed his clothes was during the Civil War?

At exactly the time Alric was sinking his fangs into another victim, with Christianne clearly blind to what he was sneaking off to do, Charlie arrived home. Jess was oblivious to his arrival, but I watched his face as he came into the living room and saw what was on the TV. Charlie was immediately edgy.

"What the hell are you watching!" He barked, conveying his full authority as Police Chief.

Jess jumped up, she didn't stop the DVD. "Oh, hi there Mr Swan, I'm Jess Taylor."

Charlie didn't acknowledge her. "What is this?" He snapped.

"_Vampire__Nights_."

"Never heard of it. Is it suitable for you to watch?"

"It's a 15." Jess replied.

"A what?"

"Oh.. Er, that's British rating. I don't know what it would be here, but it's classed as suitable for people over 15."

"Really?" Charlie conveyed his scepticism over that statement. "That's on British TV?"

"It's made in America."

"Is it?" His displeasure finally came to the attention of Jess and she pressed the stop button. There was an awkward silence. Jess looked at her watch.

"I'd better go." She got up and ejected the disk from the player and gathered her things together. I remained exactly where I was sat. I'd barely been in the house forty-eight hours and I was already in trouble. "Are you going to come down to the garage tonight and see this band?"

I looked at Charlie. This wasn't the best time to be asking things like this. "I er… I don't know."

"Band?" Charlie snapped.

"Yeah, my brother Dan is going to meet up with some guys from school who rehearse at Black's Auto Repair. I wondered if Ness wanted to come too?"

"I heard about them. The owner of the repair shop is a friend of mine. Ness, I asked him and his father to stop by this evening to meet you."

"Ok." I would have to stick around for that, no skipping off early for me.

"We'll see." Charlie said giving Jess a hard stare. He walked out of the living room to hang up his jacket and gun holster.

Jess exhaled. "Sorry. Guess he doesn't like vampires?"

I shrugged my shoulders "I'll try and see you later. " I said.

"I hope I haven't got you into trouble." Jess looked sad. "That's the last thing I'd want for you. I'm sure stuff's shit enough right now without him being on your back."

"We'll see." This was certainly not a great start.

"If I don't see you later, I'll see you tomorrow, OK?" I nodded and walked with her to the door, watching as she bounced down the path and jogged off down the road.

I walked slowly into the kitchen where Charlie was pouring coffee. He turned around to look at me, his eyebrows raised in questioning.

"Tell me that wasn't your idea of something fun to watch?" He said quietly.

I shook my head. "No. Jess is into vampires, she was introducing me to her favourite show."

"Vampires…" It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

I might as well get it all out. "She's obsessed with them."

"That doesn't sound good." He looked me straight in the face. "Is this wise?" He leant back on the kitchen table, placing his coffee behind him and folding his arms. "Ness, you need to be careful. Maybe this girl isn't the right person to hang around with."

"But she's my friend!" I said sadly, my first friend. I couldn't give her up already.

"You've only been in school a day, you'll make other friends."

"I can handle it!"

"Can you?"

I nodded. "Yes!" I tried to imitate Jess's self-confidence, it didn't translate well.

"That was pretty gory stuff. I'm not sure I'm happy you watching that. You're still very young."

"I am seventeen next week! Besides, it's not real, it's just TV."

Charlie scoffed. "I hope so." He took a deep breath. "Ness, you coming here is a big deal for me. I don't want anything to mess that up." He sighed and shook his head, smirking.

"What?"

"It's like history repeating itself but with a subtle twist." The smirk widened into a broad grin. It was good to see a smile on his face.

The phone rang. He stepped over to the wall and picked up the receiver.

"Hello!" He answered cheerfully. "Hey Bella, how are you? I'm good thanks. Yes she's right here." He handed the receiver to me. "_Bella_." He said pointedly.

"Hi Bella!" I was excited to talk to her.

"Oh you're gonna love this one Bells." Charlie said in the background, laughing. "Tell her Ness."

I kicked away a chair from the table and sat down. I had an idea that this would be a long conversation.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two : **Secrets and Lies

As the clock struck six, I glanced up from my book and out of the kitchen window to see Sue pulling onto the drive as she returned from work. Seconds later a large, black pick-up truck pulled up outside the house, closely followed by a small red car. From the red car jumped a boy I'd seen at school earlier that day. He was holding a large insulated bag.

"Pizza's here!" I called to Charlie. He was watching a sports channel in the living room and heard the sofa creak as he got up off it. I glanced up again and saw Sue talking to an incredibly tall man by the pick-up. He dwarfed her. He was Native American, perhaps of the of the Quileute tribe who lived down on the coastal reservation at La Push. He had short, dark hair and underneath his close-fitting grey t-shirt, you could see an impressive musculature. While he was talking to Sue, he was opening a wheelchair, presumably for the man who was sitting in the passenger seat. These must be Charlie's friends.

Charlie paid the pizza delivery guy and left the door open, bringing the three large boxes through to the kitchen. Sue and the two men came through the door chatting loudly and confidently, the way firm friends do. I put the marker in my book, closed it and rose from my seat to greet them. Sue bustled into the kitchen and smiled at me, pecking Charlie on the lips as she passed him. Behind her the tall man, perhaps the tallest man I'd ever seen, pushed his father through the doorway into the kitchen, ducking down under the door frame as he did so. They both smiled at me but said nothing. There was an awkward silence and I looked at Charlie for reassurance. The other men looked at him too and he looked momentarily confused.

"Oh yeah… Introductions." Charlie cleared his throat. Sue rolled her eyes in amusement. "Nessie, this is, um, my good friend Billy Black and his son Jacob; Jake," he corrected. "Billy, Jake, this is Edward's cousin Vanessa, but everyone calls her Nessie. She's gonna live with us until she finishes High School." There was another awkward silence.

Billy's brow furrowed. "Is that it?" His son's face broke into a grin.

"Yeah? Why? Is there anything more I need to say? It's not as if you don't know who she is."

"Charlie," said Billy, his tone was serious now. "This is no time to be flippant; you know what's at stake here."

Charlie sighed. "I was hoping that in private things could be a little more relaxed."

"In time maybe," replied Billy. "But let's stick to the story. Now, do I smell pizza?" Billy beamed at me.

Anyone the least bit curious about my story and so inclined to search for information, would uncover a mostly unremarkable life. I was born nearly seventeen years ago on September 11th to Jack and Elizabeth Masen in Littleton, New Hampshire; a small city in the north west of the state, close to the border with Vermont. Known as Nessie to my parents, we lived a life of quiet normality, until June this year, when a drunk driver on the I-93 ended my parents' lives, as they were travelling home from a weekend in Concord.

Being only sixteen, the authorities made a search for any possible family and found my cousin, Edward Cullen, living with his wife Bella and new baby daughter, in New Bedford, Massachusetts. I went to live with them, but the three of us and baby Renesmee, living in a small house and falling over one another, just didn't work out. Bella's Dad offered to look after me whilst I finished up High School and only two days previously, I had moved in with Charlie Swan and his partner Sue Clearwater.

Amongst my things, now located in what had been Bella's room, was a stack of photograph albums. My Mom had been a dedicated archivist of our life. A life that had been cruelly ripped away from me and now I was starting all over again; in a new town, with new people and on the other side of the country. I'd pinned the news clippings about their death and the obituaries from the local paper onto the notice board. I'd littered the surfaces with a stack of nick-knacks taken from the house to remind me of them. I was still grieving and although some people might find it macabre, I found it a comfort to have the clippings around me, just in case I should ever forget them. Not that I ever would of course, they were my parents and I loved them deeply.

Nessie, September 11th and being related to Edward Cullen were the only truths in an intricately woven and meticulously assembled pack of lies. The truth about who I was and what I was doing in Forks were things only a few people were aware of. Those who knew, and that included all the people in Charlie and Sue's kitchen, were charged with preserving the secret of it. My story and the evidence for it had been planned and generated with their full knowledge and even Charlie, Forks Chief of Police, was a willing accomplice to this fraud. It had been his idea.

Charlie really wanted to spend time with me while he could. For that to happen without arousing too much suspicion, I could not be here in the capacity of who I truly was. My family had been in agreement with Charlie's wishes and their talents and resources had been expertly deployed in constructing a watertight new identity for me. There wasn't a birth certificate, a photograph, a newspaper clipping or an online obituary out of place. I was Nessie Masen and I could prove that I was Nessie Masen. But I had only been Nessie Masen from the moment I stepped out of the car on Sunday. Up until then, I had been Nessie Cullen.

The fact that I bore a striking resemblance to my cousin, owed less to him being my cousin and more to him being my father. Put me next to his wife Bella and you'd see a stunning degree of similarity there too. Not unremarkable, given that she was my mother. There was also a great deal of me in the photograph of the baby girl on the mantelpiece, because she and I were the same girl. I am Edward and Bella Cullen's daughter and I am Charlie Swan's granddaughter. The photograph on the mantelpiece was taken six years ago; and believe me, when I say, there is a whole bucket-load of odd about me that is being kept from the good people of Forks. For good reason. According to the _X-Files_, the truth may indeed be out there, but it won't be getting out if everyone sticks to the story. Billy was right to insist that Charlie adhered to it.

Billy and Jake are not strangers to me, I have known them all my life and it was odd being introduced to people that I knew so well. Jake assisted at my birth and there have been few days since then when we haven't been together. He is my best friend.

Jake has never left this area, so here is another lie about my past: I didn't arrive from Massachusetts on Sunday; I arrived from a house located three miles north of Forks. I have been to New Bedford, Massachusetts and to Littleton, New Hampshire; but only as part of researching my new life. I've travelled and visited many places, but I've never lived anywhere but Forks. Not that anyone would have seen me before. My family lived a quiet life and kept themselves to themselves.

As was right and proper in this charade, I got to know Billy and Jake over the pizza's that the five of us shared. They, in turn, got to know me. Sue told us about her day at work and said that she'd met Jess and Dan's Mom, Susie, when she'd come to register at the Doctor's office. Sue described her as 'blonde and a little ditzy'. Charlie said her daughter looked much the same and could not resist commenting on what he'd found Jess and I watching when he got home.

"The girl's obsessed with vampires." He said, referring to Jess.

"Interesting choice of friend." Said Jake, grinning.

"Like mother like daughter." Charlie retorted. I could tell he'd been itching to make that comment all evening and it received the amused, almost groaning reaction he was hoping for.

With dinner done, Charlie, Billy and Sue moved through to the living room. Billy and Charlie watched the baseball; Sue used the time to settle down to her cross stitch. In the kitchen, Jake and I loaded up the dishwasher and set it going. After I'd done that, Charlie said I could go back into town to meet up with my friends and Jake said he'd give me a ride down there as he had a job to finish up. He'd call back for his Dad later when he dropped me home.

When Mr Dowling, the previous owner of the garage had retired three years ago, my Dad and Jake had gone into business together and bought the garage. They'd renamed it _Black's Auto Repair_. Dad was very much the silent partner, it was Jake's business and under him it was thriving. Unlike Mr Dowling, Jake priced his repairs competitively and nobody needed to take their cars to Port Angeles anymore, therefore there was always a steady stream of work.

Jake was brilliant with cars, he could fix anything. Cars were a big part of my family's life and I'd spent many hours at home over the years, watching or helping Jake, Dad or Aunt Rose while they poured over the engines of their various vehicles. They were all as keen to pass on their skills to me as I was keen to learn and I was quite the skilled car mechanic now. I was also skilled in getting as grubby as possible and Jake aided and abetted me at every turn. There had been many occasions where I'd been physically manhandled in at the end of the day by Mom or Dad and deposited, sometimes fully clothed, into a hot, soapy bath. Momma called me her little muck monster. I couldn't keep myself clean and with Jake around that was doubly difficult. We had an entire peninsula as our back yard and I couldn't be out in it without getting grubby, wet or frequently, both.

"You're supposed to go _over_ rivers not _through_ them, Nessie." Momma had lamented one evening as she was bathing me. Jake and I had spent one summer's afternoon splashing about in the Sol Duc River.

"Jake needed a wash; he was covered in berry juice." I said; wincing in annoyance as Momma rubbed the shampoo through my hair. I wasn't overly fond of getting clean again.

"And how did he get covered with berry juice?" She asked me.

"He wouldn't eat them, so I made him wear them."

"Nessie, that is not a nice thing to do."

"He thought it was funny, he was barking."

Momma sighed, she couldn't win this one. As she washed my hair, I'd placed a soapy hand on her cheek.

Jake parked his truck outside the garage and we got out. The garage and Fredericks were next to each other on the main road through Forks. I could hear the sound of music coming from inside. Ok, so maybe calling it music was being slightly generous, it was a wailing guitar. We walked around to a back door and I pushed it open. In the corner of the large space were a set of drums, a keyboard and three amplifiers. Dan and Jess were already there and as I stepped through the door, Jess ran to meet me.

"You came!" She enthused. "Looks like I'm in!"

"Brilliant!" I replied. She was so excited; it would be unfair not to respond equally positively. Jake stepped through the doorway and stood up. I bit my lip in amusement as Jess took in, with shock, his full height and I saw her eyes widen. She looked at me questioningly and I introduced my companion. "This is Jake Black, the owner of the garage. He gave me a lift down here. Jake, this is my friend, Jess Taylor."

"Pleased to meet you," said Jake, holding out one of his enormous hands for Jess to shake, which she did, somewhat confusedly, as if Jake was some impossible mathematical concept she was trying to get her head around. "I've not seen you here before, are you in the band?"

"I am now, I just joined."

"That's a weird accent. Ness told me on the way down that you're English?"

"Yes, I'm sure I'll soon pick up lots of Washington weirdness to mask it." There she was again, always ultra confident with everyone. I liked that about her.

Jake turned to me. "I'll give you a ride back to Charlie's after you're done. I'm going to finish up a job."

"Ok, thanks. Bye." I watched Jake lope off into the front workshop. Jess stared after him as he went.

"He's huge," she said quietly, "and hot; in both senses of the word."

"What?" I furrowed my brow.

"Well he's physically hot, his hand felt like he was running a temperature and he's definitely _hot_." She waggled her eyebrows. I furrowed my brow even more. Her eyebrows stopped jiggling up and down and remained firmly elevated.

"Don't tell me you don't know what I mean by that? I'm sure I've heard it being used here. You know…" she tailed off, but no, I didn't know. My face must have conveyed it. "Ripped, buff, attractive, dishy, drop dead gorgeous?"

"Oh." I could say no more. She found him attractive? I turned that over in my head and it didn't make sense. Jake was… Jake. He was my best friend, I couldn't think of him being attractive, it seemed wrong. I dismissed the thought entirely.

"No?" Jess questioned. "He's not your type?"

"No," I said hesitantly. "He's not my type."

"What's your type, then?"

I shook my head in slight confusion; it wasn't something I'd ever considered. "I don't think I have one."

"Well, there's plenty of time to discover one. Come and meet the others." Jess pulled me over to where Dan and two other guys were. "This is Ness, she's new to Forks too. This is Ricky Scott", she indicated to a tall, skinny guy with lank dark straight hair that fell over one eye. "He plays drums." Ricky gave a small wave. "And this is Zak Foster, he plays bass."

"Hi there." Zak replied, he was equally as lean as Ricky, but blessed with a mop of tightly curled red hair and more freckles than skin. "Can you sing?"

"Yes."

"Wanna it a go?" Zak pointed to the microphone adjacent to me.

"Ok." I loved to sing, this could be fun. "Sing what?"

"Do you know _Run to You_ by Bryan Adams?" I nodded. Zak went over to a wallet propped up by a speaker and pulled out a sheet of lyrics. He handed them to me. "Ok, shall we try this?" He asked the rest of them. Ricky seated himself behind the drum kit, Jess went and stood behind her keyboards and Dan pulled a guitar strap over his head. I stood behind the microphone and looked at the blank brick wall of the workshop ahead of me. Our only audience was Jake, and he was next door in the front part of the shop. If I messed up there would be precious few witnesses. There could be none entirely if I decided it.

"OK!" called Ricky, "After four. He bashed his drumsticks together four times and something that sounded like proper music came out of Ricky, Zak, Dan and Jess's instruments. I jumped in with the vocals at the appropriate time and sang my heart out to the wall. I hope the bricks appreciated it.

Four minutes later, as the last notes died away, my head returned to the reality of being in a car repair shop in Forks. I dare not turn around, fearful of what the others might say. Did I sound OK? Was it what they expected, or wanted? Did they like me? It was Ricky who broke the silence.

"That was fucking awesome." A small laugh of relief burst through my lips, but I still didn't turn around.

"I agree." Said Zak. "You're in if you wanna be."

"Yay!" Jess shouted. I turned around to find four other faces with big smiles on them.

"Zak" said Ricky. "I think we've finally got ourselves a band." The two guys high-fived each other over the drums and Jess skipped over and hugged me. I threw my arms around her and embraced her too, being very careful not to let my relief of being accepted by this group of people accidentally result in hugging Jess to death. From the corner of my eye I saw movement. I raised my head to see Jake in the doorway of the workshop. He smiled and gave me the thumbs up. I smiled back at him.

"Let's do some more!" Shouted Zak.

In the end we played for another hour. There were a couple of songs that I didn't know but I could look them up when I got home. We packed away and the five of us decamped to Fredericks, where Ricky ordered a celebratory round of hot chocolate for everyone and half a dozen blueberry muffins. We took up residence in the corner, on red plastic overstuffed benches and chatted animatedly until the waitress brought over the drinks and the muffins. Silence fell, as five sets of mouths turned their attention to eating. The muffins were delicious. Or maybe it wasn't the muffin I was sensing, but the sweet taste of everything being right with the world. I was accepted, I fitted in and I had friends; I was thrilled about that. I could do this. I _was_ doing this. More than anything I wanted to be a normal teenage girl and do things that normal teenage girls did.

I'd spent so long dreaming about this and trying to imagine what it would be like, but it wasn't even half way through week one and my life had veered off and taken a route I'd have never expected. It was good though, exciting! The ubiquitous cautions of my family in those last few days before my 'arrival' in Forks came back to me: 'Be careful Nessie.' Oh I would be careful, but I'd have some fun too. That's what normal teenage girls did, yes?

As we chatted, I found out more about Ricky and Zak. They were in twelfth grade and had been trying to put together a band for the best part of a year; but the student body of Forks High School were more concerned with sports than with music. The pair of them couldn't believe their luck that the three new people in the grade below had turned out to be the perfect additions to their band. Having greedily devoured the muffins, we settled down to discuss the types of music that we liked, something I couldn't really contribute much to, as I'd amassed musical favourites right back to the early baroque period. My other grandfather, Edward's adoptive father had introduced me to it. I'd have to get listening to some more modern tracks as my mp3 player was dominated by songs my family liked. There was nothing wrong about liking things my family liked, but I needed to work out what I liked and I needed to do that quickly. I made a mental note of the bands that were mentioned so I could start to check them out. Some of them I'd heard of and others were new to me. It was all so exciting!

It was clear from listening to Dan speak that he was as equally obsessed about music as Jess was about vampires. He spoke with an eloquence and passion that impressed both Zak and Ricky. The two of them had a great deal in common with the strangely spoken lad from northern England. Jess didn't really have any musical favourites other than Tori Amos, who Dan commented was, 'as mad as a box of frogs'; an expression Zak, Ricky and I hadn't heard before and which made us laugh out loud.

As the clock approached ten, Jake came into the diner and our fledging nameless band disbanded for the evening. I kept a lid on my enthusiasm until Jake and I were a safe distance away, bowling down the road in his truck. Then I just couldn't keep it in anymore.

"I'm in a band!" I exclaimed. "Can you believe that! Did I sound ok?"

Jake looked at me perplexed. "Did you sound OK? Nessie you're pitch-perfect, of course you sound OK." He rolled his eyes and shook his head in disbelief.

"No, but did I sound _right_. You know…?" I searched for the right term and hit on the only one I could think of. "Did I… rock?"

Jake beamed at me. "You rocked, big time. I think Ricky said that clear enough."

"I need to listen to tons of stuff." I said, almost jumping in my seat and listing the bands that had cropped up in the conversation this evening.

Jake pulled a face. "I haven't heard many of those. So what's the band called?"

I shook my head. "It doesn't have a name yet."

"It's very important for a band to have a great name."

"I'm sure one will come up."

"How about Bella and the Cullens?"

I pulled a face and laughed "Jake, that's terrible."

Jake looked a bit put out. "I thought it was quite a good name for a band."

"Ok," I said, looking to bolster his feelings. "I'll throw it in the mix when the time comes.

Jake dropped me back at the house and I shared my news with the rest of them. They gave it qualified support, followed by the inevitable comment from Charlie.

"Just be careful." He cautioned.

"Why?"

"Those guys are older than you."

"By a year."

"By some margin. All I'm saying is, don't fall in with the wrong crowd." I looked at him with a smirk on my face. He'd realised what he'd said and rolled his eyes. "Point taken." He smiled. I kissed him and hugged him.

"I'll be careful, I promise."

"It's all I'm asking Nessie."

I got ready for bed and read for a while. I fired off a few text messages to my parents and others telling them my news. Momma replied almost instantly saying the same as Charlie, 'Be careful!' Other replies said much the same. They were concerned about me, I knew that and it was understandable given my situation. But from first impressions, Jess and Dan seemed ok and Ricky and Zak appeared to be pretty nice guys. I didn't see what the worry was about. They hadn't met them, they didn't know them and I couldn't go running to Momma every five minutes to ask for advice, I had to make these decisions for myself. Surely they could trust me to judge a person's character? Did they think danger lurked in the corridors of Forks High School? They had to admit that it was a lot less dangerous than it used to be.

The next day, the five of us met up at lunch and picked up the conversation right where we'd left off last night. Ricky handed me a CD.

"I burned some of my favourite stuff." He said.

"Oh thanks! That's really great of you."

"There's more where that came from, I'll do some more. Save you the expense of having to download them all."

"Thank you, that's so thoughtful." I looked at the track listing, I'd not heard of any of the artists, this would be interesting to listen to.

Tuesday and Thursday were agreed to be rehearsal nights and Zak mentioned a venue in Port Angeles that championed new bands. He was going to try and get us on the bill, to give us something to aim for. Dan asked about song writing and whether he could bring some of the stuff he'd been working on. Ricky was enthusiastic about that.

"Do you write, Ness?" He asked me, when Zak and Dan were deep in conversation.

"It's not something I've ever tried to do. Do you?"

He nodded. "Zak writes lyrics. I'm better at the music."

"Do you write?" I asked Jess, she nodded. Dan interrupted.

"She writes pappy love songs to vampires, you really don't wanna hear them, they're vomitworthy."

"And not everyone marches to the beat of left wing politics either." Jess snapped back to her brother.

"It's more relevant than singing about cloud cuckoo land."

"Do you two always bicker?" Asked Zak, chuckling. "You're like an old married couple."

"No, not always." Jess replied sarcastically, "Sometimes I lunge at this throat with a knife." She smacked her brother none too playfully around the back of the head. She made me laugh and suddenly wishing that I had a sister too.

Walking out of the cafeteria to our afternoon class, Ricky caught up to me.

"How're you liking Forks so far?"

"It's ok, I'm settling in."

"I was sorry to hear about your parents. That sucks."

"Thanks. Yes it does. It's getting a little easier though."

"So; other than the band, whaddya do?" He fell into step beside me.

"Study?" I laughed. I knew that wasn't what he meant. "I don't do anything else."

"Sports?"

"Um… No. Unless you count watching baseball with Charlie."

"Charlie?"

"Oh um… Chief Swan." I corrected myself.

"Oh yeah. You live with the Police Chief."

"I do."

"No putting a foot out of line then?" Ricky smiled and brushed his hair out of his eyes.

"I guess not."

"Um… Do you… Do you date?" I stopped dead. The last vestiges of preconceived ideas I'd had about how school would work out, were now firmly out the window. Nothing was going the way I'd imagined it. I'd stupidly not discussed dating with my parents. I was on my own here. Did I date? My head scrabbled for purchase momentarily and then clunked squarely into logic. Be logical Nessie. How would a normal teenage girl respond to this? Would a normal teenage girl date? Of course she would.

"Yes."

"Well… um… Would you like to go out to dinner sometime?"

Ricky seemed a nice enough guy, what was the harm in it?

"Ok."

His face broke out into a smile. "Friday?"

"Ah, I can't do Friday, sorry. I'm having dinner with a family friend."

"Saturday then?"

That seemed OK, I couldn't think of anything on my calendar. "Yes, Saturday's good."

"Ok, um… Port Angeles?" I nodded. "There are several restaurants there. What's your favourite type of food?" I grinned and didn't say it.

"I like pretty much anything. You choose."

"Italian?"

"Italian's good." The concourse was emptying, class was about to start and we would be late. Ricky noticed.

"We'd better go. Fix up a time later?" I nodded. He backed away, smiling. No, perhaps almost grinning. I watched him go for a second, before I hurried to my English class and sat down just as Mr Hodson started talking.

"Where've you been?" Hissed Jess.

"Taking to Ricky." I replied.

"What about?" She whispered.

"Food."

"Oh." She sounded unimpressed.

"He asked me out to dinner."

She grabbed my arm, "No way!" she exclaimed. I flashed a look at Mr Hodson but he was writing something on the board and was seemingly unaware or uninterested. "Flipping heck, he doesn't hang about. Do you like him?"

"He seems alright. I know him as well as you do."

"I'm not surprised; he did look a bit like a rabbit in the headlights when he saw you come through the door at Blacks last night."

"What?" I hadn't noticed anything.

"Miss Masen and Miss Taylor, I would be grateful if you would pay attention!" Mr Hodson's voice curtailed our conversation. I spent the rest of the lesson wondering why I hadn't noticed a guy looking like a rabbit caught in headlights. I was completely distracted by that thought for the rest of the day.

As the school was emptying for the day and Jess and I were walking towards the parking lot, I saw Ricky walking ahead with a group of friends. He was laughing and smiling. A friend in their group looked behind them and spotted me, alerting the other guys who looked round too.

"Looks like you're the topic of conversation," warned Jess. I could see that, I could hear it too as one of his friends asked him outright how he'd managed to persuade me to go on a date with him, saying I was way out of his league. Another asked how soon it would be before he had me, to which Ricky replied 'sooner than you will; loser.' And I realised, right there, that I had possibly waded out further than I wanted to go. I wasn't in nineteenth century England, living in a Jane Austen novel; I was in twenty first century America and the rules of the game were very different here.

No, I told myself, I was worrying unnecessarily. I didn't have to do anything I didn't want to do. Besides, I was strong; I could rebuff unwelcome advances from Ricky or anyone else who came my way. I'd go to dinner with him; there would be nothing wrong with that. He was a friend after all. It would look more unusual if I remained aloof and detached from everyone. Around me, there were lots of couples walking hand in hand and I imagined Momma and Dad doing the same thing when they were here. That couldn't have been easy, surely; but they had done it so why not me?

I said I'd give Jess a ride home and as we walked to my car I noticed that three girls were standing by it. One of them was the alpha female who had been giving Jess the really unfavourable looks yesterday. As we approached, they formed a line, blocking our way. Jess muttered under her breath.

"Uh oh, we're in trouble. I'm betting you've just been asked out by her ex. Ladies!" She beamed at them. "What can we do for you?" Always full of confidence.

"As you're new here," alpha Female started, full of haughtiness, "we came to let you know the rules, and…" Jess cut her off.

"Don't tell me; rule number one is that Ricky Scott is yours and you're warning Ness to get her thieving hands off him? Am I right?" Alpha female looked momentarily unsure of herself and it looked like Jess was right. "Perhaps you should remind Ricky of the rules, not Ness. Excuse us ladies." Jess grabbed my arm and pushed through the line to my car. We got in as quickly as we could. I started the engine, backed out and made as sharp an exit as we could possibly make from the parking lot. A couple of hundred yards down the road, Jess exploded with laughter. "Day two at Sad Act High and you're already in trouble! Ha ha ha! I love it!" I wish I could share Jess's glee. I didn't want to get anyone's back up; I had enough to deal with.

Thursday yielded a name for the alpha female - Emilie Peterson - and a massive scratch down the side of my car where someone had run a key down it. Emilie was indeed Ricky's ex-girlfriend; they had split up over the summer and from the looks of it, Emilie wasn't taking it too well. I looked sadly at the scratch which ran the full length of the driver's side of the car. Not only had I made a friend in my first week, I'd also made an enemy. I felt out of my depth in all this and suddenly longed to be able to ask for advice. I didn't really know where to go with my particular problem.

At rehearsal that night, Dan said he wanted to check out the music venue Zak had mentioned. That quickly turned into a whole band outing on Saturday night. The dinner date became Saturday lunch and was all the better for it as Charlie and Sue were both scheduled to work this Saturday. There would be no need to answer awkward questions. I could say I was going into Port Angeles with the band. I need not tell them about Ricky.

I didn't want to discuss it with Jake or my parents either. I didn't want the chorus of 'be careful' and I didn't want Ricky's entire life combed through to see if he was a suitable friend for me; Jess had narrowly escaped that course of action earlier in the week. Surely, part of the experience of living here was to start making my own decisions. Momma and Dad weren't here; they were on the other side of the country and I had to learn to stand on my own two feet sometime. In that, there was no time like the present. Charlie was here, he was the Chief of Police, he'd know if someone was trouble. Besides, it was only lunch, we were hardly boyfriend and girlfriend… Yet. I'd say something if that happened. There seemed little point in mentioning it before then.

Just before noon on Saturday, Ricky picked me up in his car, a rather battered old Honda Civic. I was a little tired, Friday had been a late night and I hadn't slept great, walking in the early hours of the morning and finding it tough to get back off to sleep. I'd been inexplicably nervous. Jake had seen the scratch on my car when he'd been at the house on Friday and had collected it this morning. He said he'd do the work on it for me. He didn't ask how it had happened, for which I was thankful. I didn't relish the 'my new boyfriend has a jealous ex' conversation. I was supposed to be 'being careful'.

Away from his group of friends, Ricky wasn't raucous or lewd; but he was very talkative, mostly about music; and he had a nice line in manners, although Dad could teach him a thing or two about courtesy.

We parked close to the music venue which was on the outskirts of town and set off for the centre. We chatted easily, he was fun to be with and wasn't overly curious about my family, although I was prepared with my story if he was. Having your parents die seemed to be a natural barrier to people asking about them. He kept the conversation to neutral territory; films, books and music, endlessly music. There was no hint of Wednesday's comments to his friends. That must have been bravado.

We arrived at La Bella Italia and it was busy. There were lots of families enjoying Saturday lunch and I hoped he'd made a reservation. The host approached us, a young man who radiated boredom from every pore.

"Do you have a reservation?" He drawled, as if we couldn't possibly have done anything so organised.

"Yes, the name's Scott." Ricky replied. The host checked the list, ticked us off and seated us at a small table in the middle of what was going to feel like eating in the middle of a children's play area. Would Ricky ask for another table? The host handed us our menus and Ricky said nothing other than thank you. No he wasn't. But I was; I didn't want to sit here. I unleashed part of me that up until now had been kept firmly under wraps and for it I kept my face strictly averted from Ricky, focusing my attention on the host.

"Excuse me?" I began. The host turned back and I saw his eyes widen in response to what he saw and I knew that I had him captivated. He would be putty in my hands. "Perhaps another table, please?" I flashed him a wide smile. "One that's a little more private?"

"Of course, ma'am, this way please." Ricky rose from his seat, confused. We followed the host to the opposite side of the restaurant where there was a single unoccupied booth. I thanked him and Ricky and I settled into our new seats.

"This is better." I approved.

"Why didn't they show us to this one first?"

"They didn't think we'd mind, people settle for less these days. A man would have once paid handsomely to get a better table on a date. But that's a thing of the past now." Unless you happened to show up at a restaurant with my Dad, he was a stickler for good tables. "Money didn't change hands though; I just batted my eyelashes at him." I grinned.

"Some eyelashes. Maybe it's Maybelline?"

"Maybe it's Chanel."

"You're high maintenance."

"No, I just like the best." I laughed lightly. If only he really knew.

We settled into perusing the menu and I chose ricotta cannelloni. Ricky went for that too. While we waited, we worked our way through the breadsticks. The food was good and after a leisurely lunch we spent the afternoon perusing the stores, paying special attention to the music store. Ricky came alive in there and he enthusiastically rifled through album after album, pointing out which were the best ones to listen to. I stood back and took it all in, letting him talk. His head was a mine of information about popular music and I soaked it all up like a sponge. Just like Jess, he was easy to be with.

At one point I looked at him and a pang of sadness gripped me. If he really knew me he would not be quite so at ease, or possibly here at all. But he was and that must mean that I was doing a very good job of keeping that bit of me hidden.

Later, as we were walking back out to the music venue, our hands brushed together and he took the opportunity to take hold of mine. I was surprised how natural it felt. I don't know what I was expecting, sparks perhaps? We called at McDonalds before going to the venue and arrived to find a large number of people already standing in line. The line started under a neon sign above the door: _The Shed_. It was perfectly named, it looked exactly like one.

Dan, Jess and Zak were at the back of the line, having just arrived. Dan's eyebrows flew up when he saw us hand in hand. Jess must not have told him the news. Jess herself was anxious to talk, so I loosed hands from Ricky and we put a little distance between us and the boys, so she could quiz me on our afternoon. I told her all about it and she seemed thrilled, although I didn't deliver what she really wanted to know.

"He didn't try to snog you?" Her British vernacular amused me.

"No?" Should he have done I wondered? I really should ask my Mom about dating. Were there rules I needed to follow? Perhaps I could Google it.

"I thought he might have tried. Maybe American men are more reserved. British lads would have their tongues down your throat in less than half an hour."

"Really?" I was shocked. I had no idea English people were so forward; I'd had them marked down as stereotypical reserved types.

"Well, perhaps not half an hour. Maybe three quarters." Jess winked and grinned and I realised that she was sassing me. I laughed.

The line moved forward and presently we found ourselves inside, the sparse exterior was mirrored in here too. It was painted black had been fitted out with a stage at one end; rows of benched seating along each wall and very little else, save the lights denoting the emergency exits and the bathrooms. The five of us kept together as other people packed in. The crowd were mostly young people in their late teens or early twenties, all sporting the unofficial uniform of slightly scruffy jeans and shirts. These people clearly didn't come here to be seen, they came for the music. You couldn't see anyone anyway; it was dark apart from the lights trained on the stage.

There were three bands that night, an identikit mix of young skinny men in threadbare t-shirts, shouting inaudible lyrics into microphones. I don't think any of us were impressed by what we saw of the first two bands and neither were the audience, who clapped politely but more often than not talked all the way through the sets.

"You can sing much better than that." Ricky said in my ear after the second band had been on. "We've got nothing to be worried about." He was stood behind me and his left hand had been resting on my waist for the last half an hour. It was not an unpleasant sensation, I noted.

Zak arrived back from asking about us being on the bill and had news that there were slots available from the end of October. He was confident we could have something ready by then. The first band on had played four songs and Zak figured we could do that right now.

"After only two rehearsals?" Queried Jess.

"Hey, we're better than those guys already. We've got nothing to worry about." Jess didn't seem to share his confidence.

The third band was better, capturing and keeping the audience's attention. I studied the lead singer who had a great stage presence, something I would need to work on. Singing at the wall was one thing; singing to other people was something else. Would my family come down and see me? Would they like what they saw? Jake would come. Jake would turn up if I sang at a wall. Jess disappeared to the bathroom half way through and was a very long time. Eventually she returned with a smile as wide at the Amazon and eyes like saucers.

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!" She repeated quickly, clutching her had to her breast.

"What?"

"I have just met the most gorgeous man on the planet!" Oh, was that all, I thought from her reaction he was having some kind of heart attack. "Think Alric, but in real life. He was to die for." She sighed. I scanned the crowd quickly, but couldn't find any tall blonde men who looked the colour of death, although plenty that looked like they crawled out of a dumpster.

"Where is he?"

"Over there." Jess looked and spotted him behind me. "Oh he's leaving." Her shoulders sagged. I turned around and saw the back of a tall man, blonde hair reaching to his shoulders, walking to the exit. And yes, he too looked like he'd just crawled out of a dumpster. "He's called Randall and he's a music journalist. He's here frequently he says, so he'll look out for our band. Oh Ness! He was astonishing! Oh we've got to come here again! If he's here frequently, I want to be too!" Jess stared unseeingly towards the exit. Randall was gone now, but I recognised from her frequent mental absences when she was day dreaming about Alric, that Jess was making herself at home on Planet Randall. I smiled. I didn't have any knowledge of daydreaming about boys; it wasn't something I'd ever done. Was I supposed to act this way about Ricky? May be it would come in time.

Drawing up outside Charlie's house in Forks, I realised with a sinking feeling that I might be expected to kiss Ricky. I really didn't know if I wanted that to happen. It was fortunate then, that the noise of the car drew Charlie to the window and see who it was. The perfect excuse not to kiss him. Thank you Grampa!

"Chief Swan's checking up on me." I grinned and turned to Ricky. "Thanks for lunch and for a lovely day. I'll see you Monday?"

"Yeah. I'll see you." He said. I got out, closed the door and Ricky pulled smartly away. I scooted down the path and through the front door. Charlie was standing in the doorway of the living room and Jake was right behind him.

"Hi Charlie, Hi Jake." I said, beaming.

"Glad to see you're home safe." Said Charlie. "Did you have a fun evening?"

"Yeah we did. There are some slots from the end of October onwards; Zak's thinking we should aim for that.

"So soon?" Commented Jake.

"Zak's confident."

"Was that Zak?" Charlie inclined his head in the direction of the street.

"No, that was Ricky, the drummer."

"Ricky?"

"Scott."

"I know his mother." There was no comment about him being trouble, so I guessed that Ricky had never come to Charlie's professional attention. "Anyway, it's late; you should probably head on up now."

"Is it ok if I go up for a while?" Jake pointed up the stairs.

"Sure, go ahead." Jake and I went upstairs and Charlie disappeared back into the living room. I couldn't see that Sue was there.

I flicked on a couple of lights and pushed up the window to let some air in. Jake pulled up my pillows and sat on my bed with his legs out. I kicked off my shoes and climbed on beside him, leaning up against him. A familiar warm arm was draped around my shoulders. This is how we usually sat. In the world I was adjusting to, everything was different; but here with Jake, things were just as they'd always been. There wasn't anything he didn't know about me, Jake knew precisely who and what I was. I didn't need to pretend to be anyone else. I inhaled deeply, filling my lungs with the familiar, comforting smell of him. It relaxed me and I struggled to stifle a yawn.

"Tired?" he asked.

"A little. It was a long day yesterday and I didn't sleep so good last night."

"Is there a problem?"

"No, I just kept waking up."

"I did your car. That was a deep scratch."

"Thanks." My stomach gurgled. Perhaps I would get a snack before bed.

"Was last night enough? Do you need more? I can take you out again."

"No it's fine. I'll be ok for the week."

"If you do need more, you just say; I'll be happy to come with you anytime."

"I can do it on my own." I smiled at him.

"I know, but I promised Edward and Bella that I'd take care of you, make sure you're eating right. We can't have you existing on a diet of pizza and coke."

"Heaven forbid." I grinned. "Where's Sue?" I reminded myself that I hadn't seen her.

"Out at a church thing."

"Oh." Sue had started going to a local church about a year ago. Charlie didn't attend but he had no objection to Sue going; she enjoyed it and besides, Charlie enjoyed his time out fishing, so it was important that Sue did something for herself too. I looked at the clock, it was nearly midnight. Wasn't she late back for a church event? Perhaps she'd stopped off at a friends house.

The casual arm wrapped around me tightened into a hug and I put my arms around my best friend. With my ear against his chest I could hear the blood pumping around his body and my head rose and fell with his regular, deep breaths. We sat there in silence for a minute or two before I yawned again and Jake took that as his cue to leave. We bid each other goodnight and Jake made his way downstairs to say goodnight to Charlie.

I changed into my pyjamas and went into the bathroom. As I stood in front of the mirror brushing my teeth I thought about why I hadn't wanted to mention Ricky to Jake. He was my best friend, why would I keep secrets from him? I thought about it, but couldn't come up with a coherent answer.

I guess there were now some things that Jake didn't know about me after all. My life, to _everyone_ around me, really was an intricate tapestry of secrets and lies.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**** - **Birthday

The following Thursday morning dawned bright and clear. The sun streamed in through the windows and I lay in bed, watching the motes drift silently through the air. It was September 11th and today was my birthday. It was early; six seventeen, but Charlie was already up, I could hear him downstairs. He would shortly be leaving for work.

Today would be a different birthday than I was used to. For one thing, I had woken up alone in my room. That was certainly unusual. Birthdays usually began with a bedroom full of family members, impatient for me to open my eyes so that they could begin celebrating. My birthday was the main event of the year and they celebrated with gusto; invariably continuing long after I had crashed out exhausted, at the end of the day. Today there would be a celebration, but with my new family. There would be a regular day at school, followed by an afternoon down at La Push. I was going to go cliff diving with Jake and Billy was going to make dinner for us all. It would be spaghetti, it was always spaghetti. Jake once joked that it was the only thing his Dad could reliably cook. Momma countered by saying Grampa couldn't reliably do even that. It was true; Grampa was clueless in the kitchen.

Jake, Charlie and Sue were taking half a day's leave from work to make sure that I had a proper family birthday. But there would be no aunts and uncles, no Grandma and Carlisle and no Momma and Daddy. If there was any day when it was going to be easy to burst into tears because I missed my parents, it would be today. But I would see them, in ten minutes time at six thirty, which was when we had agreed that the three of us would log onto Skype, so we could spend some time together and they could see me open the gifts before I went to school.

I heard Charlie coming upstairs. I got out of bed and put on my bathrobe, running my hands through my hair to look slightly more presentable. He knocked gently on my door and I opened it.

"Happy Birthday." He said quietly, smiling. I took that to mean that Sue was still in bed. He'd brought me coffee, but handed me the small wrapped gift in his other hand.

"Thank you!" I replied, equally quietly. He placed the coffee on the desk by the computer and we exchanged hugs and kisses. Even him being fresh from the shower and smelling strongly of toothpaste and cologne could not mask what really identified him to me. I inhaled familiar woody notes. I opened the paper and the small red box within contained a gold, celtic-inspired bangle. "Oh it's beautiful!" I enthused, picking it up and turning it around so I could see the exquisite detail. "Thank you so much!"

"Sue chose it."

"I'll thank her when I see her."

Charlie sat down on my bed. "Seventeen. How did that happen? You've gone from that little baby, peeking at me through your mother's hair to…" He shook his head, words failed him. "You know, sometimes I wish I could say what I mean." He took a deep breath and tried again. "Nessie…" I could see him struggling to find words to express what he wanted to say. "You're incredible!" They came out like rapid gunfire, bursting from him. I sat down and wrapped my arms carefully around him. I hugged him as tightly as I dared and his hand smoothed my hair as I listened to his heart. "It's nearly six thirty;" he said, "I think you have an appointment with your computer. I have to go. Say hi to your parents for me."

"Stay for another minute or so, say hi to them yourself."

"It's ok, I have to get down to the station and take over from Ryan. I saw them when they dropped you off. They don't change," He said with a wry grin, "Unlike you. I turn my back for five minutes and your hair's grown three inches." We both smiled, it wasn't strictly true but it was a good approximation of the rapid changes in me. "Glad that's slowing down."

"Another year and I promise you, I won't change at all, ever again."

He didn't acknowledge the comment, but looked at his watch. "Six thirty. I have to get to work and you have to get on that computer." I kissed him on the cheek and said I'd see him down at La Push later.

I pulled up the lid of my laptop and while it came back from sleep, I put the new bangle on my wrist and pulled out the bag of gifts from my family that I'd stashed at the bottom of my closet. I signed into Skype and their account was already showing green. I clicked on it and connected. Within seconds, the two people I loved most in the world and wished, more than anything, that I could be with right now, were there in front of me. To the world beyond this bedroom, I may be seventeen years old today, but within these four walls, I was simply a girl who missed her Mommy and Daddy. So I did what any self respecting girl in my situation would do.

I promptly burst into tears.

Two hours later and sat in my first class of the day listening Mr Newton drone on about hybrids in the animal kingdom, I rolled between my fingers the strange gold pendant that had been one of the two gifts from my parents. It was a two and a half inch long gold cylinder and as pendants went, it was surprisingly heavy. But that wasn't because it was solid gold. It was hollow and filled with liquid. When my tears were over and I had opened one of the gifts - a watch - and we'd had some time to talk about what was happening today; Dad had turned serious and asked me to focus on what he had to say. At the end of his explanation, he got me to open the box, put the pendant on and promise that I would never take it off if he wasn't around. That was an easy promise to keep.

Dad was slightly obsessed with safety, especially when it came to me and there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for that. This was another manifestation of it. Before me, he'd apparently been equally obsessed with my mother's safety and just before Aunt Rose and he had left for Canada, Uncle Emmett had told me that Dad's idea of asking Mom out on a date had been pushing her out of the way of a van that was about to squish her. I must ask Dad sometime if that was true. Odd if it was. Emmett said that Mom had been particularly accident-prone at school, so perhaps this was why Dad had gone a bit overkill on me with this pendant.

Where some kids had syringes full of adrenaline in their bags in case they came into contact with nuts, or a wasp sting; this cylinder functioned in much the same way. However, this 'allergy' wasn't something I'd be declaring to the school nurse in a hurry. The cylinder around my neck contained a shot of vampire venom, in case I got bitten by one. The chances of me receiving a vampire bite whilst living in Forks were minimal, but Dad figured it was better to be safe than sorry. And this wasn't just any old venom either; it was venom from a very particular vampire: My Dad. It's a long story. Perhaps it's time I told it.

It was interesting that today's lesson was hybrids in the animal kingdom and the results of inter-species mating. I wondered if Mr Newton could have guessed that he had a live hybrid in the room? Me. In purely biological terms, I was the result of a male vampire mating with a human female. Unlike the Jaglion, a cross between a Jaguar and a lion, or the Zeedonk, a zebra donkey cross; there wasn't a handy name for what I was. Although I looked, to the entire world, exactly like a human; if you scratched the surface, I clearly wasn't. You couldn't scratch my surface for one thing; that was one of the differences.

I was an unexpected arrival in my parents' marriage. They hadn't bargained on children being any part of their life together. While there appeared to be no problem in my mother conceiving me; carrying me and giving birth to me were not so straightforward. Humans are so very fragile, and I ransacked my mother's body during my 28 days gestation. In the process of giving birth to me, I almost tore her apart from inside. My father had to start the conversion process to transform her into a vampire, just to save her life. Those were my first memories, being in my father's arms as we sat next to her motionless body on the gurney in Carlisle's office.

Everything about me was accelerated, not just my gestation. I had grown to almost my full adult height in six years. When I stopped growing and reached adulthood I wouldn't grow or age any further. I could walk and talk within days of my birth and was bringing down my first kill shortly after. I didn't need to be at school to learn, my knowledge surpassed even the most gifted student. But to successfully blend in as a human, I needed to mix with more than Charlie, Sue, Billy and Jake. I had to socialise with people my own age. It was becoming clear that in this area, I had much to learn.

In appearances, I was far more human-looking than I was vampire. My skin, although almost as tough as my father's, owed more in appearance to my mother's pre-vampire state. I had a functioning circulatory system. Blood, or an approximation of blood, flowed through the veins beneath my skin, giving me a normal human colouring and not the pale, almost white skin of full vampires. My skin did not glitter in the sun like theirs did, although it did glow. In this I had the advantage over them. While they had to hide away from the sun, I could be out in public whatever the weather. My eyes were the colour my mother's had been and they didn't change in response to how thirsty I was. The rest of my family had gold eyes, darkening to black when they needed to hunt. Traditional vampires had red eyes. My family's gold eyes marked them out as different, and they were anything but traditional vampires.

My family were unusual among their kind. They did not follow the traditional diet of human blood, choosing instead to drink animal blood. It was the animal blood that produced the gold-colouring. This different blood type was something that as a little girl I'd had to get used to. The killing part was easy, I could bring down an animal no problem; but the taste. Urgh! It was an acquired one. Abstaining from human blood meant that over time it had become possible for my family to live as normal human life as it was possible to and for the last few years, our home had been a large, white-painted house in the forests north of Forks. The house was the focus of our lives, and although my parents and I lived in a small cottage some distance away, the rest of the family lived at the house and this was where we all congregated.

Carlisle had created my father in 1918, and he and his wife Esmé were my grandparents. I had two sets of aunts and uncles: Rosalie and Emmett; Jasper and Alice. All vampires and all committed to this unique way of living.

There were other big differences between their physiology and mine. None of them could eat human food, (well, they _could_, but it didn't go anywhere), whereas I had a functioning digestive system and could eat human food no problem. I could live on human food entirely if I wished, although it made me moody and generally unpleasant to have around; so that was dissuaded and a balance was struck for the time I would be living with Charlie and Sue. I could eat human food throughout the week, but every Friday night Jake would take me 'out to dinner', which was our code for going hunting. Draining a couple of elk each week kept Little Miss Crabby at bay. Unless I had my period, in which case I was crabby whatever I ate or drank. There were downsides to being a hybrid and a functioning reproductive system was one of them. Just like every teenage girl I got my period once a month, and just like every teenage girl I got moody around that time. A vampire with PMS wasn't the easiest of people to have around. The phrase 'she'll bite your head off' could be taken literally with me.

Carlisle was a Doctor by profession, my Dad too possessed medical degrees and to both of them I was a fascinating subject. They'd kept endless records about my development and being able to obtain samples of the blood-like liquid in my veins turned out to be unexpectedly valuable. Although I was a hybrid, I could still be turned into a full vampire if I was bitten by one. Carlisle had established that when he'd mixed my blood with venom supplied by my family and it had fully converted. Even my mother's venom converted me into a full vampire, as she wasn't a vampire when she gave birth to me. But things were different with my father's venom. Mixing his with my blood had no effect on it whatsoever, it remained liquid. Adding my father's venom after another vampire's venom stopped the conversion, if you did it within 3 minutes and 15 seconds; after that I was pretty much beyond help. This was why I now had a phial of my father's venom around my neck.

**Directions:**

_In case of vampire atta__ck, bite through gold cylinder and pour venom into wound as soon as possible._

Did I think it was odd that my family didn't want me to be a full vampire like them? No, they wanted me just as I was. Being me gave advantages for functioning in the human world that they didn't have. I wasn't as fast or as strong as they were and I needed sleep, when they didn't, but I was every bit as immortal. Carlisle and Dad had studied other hybrids we knew in Brazil. They were perfectly healthy and completely unchanged at nearly two hundred years old. Alice had demanded to know whether these hybrids were still having periods, not relishing putting up with my foul moods once a month for eternity. The answer surprised us. The other hybrids had not had periods. So not only was I a hybrid, but I was a freaky hybrid too. Carlisle said we'd just have to see how things played out over time. Emmett made a joke of it last Christmas, buying me shares in a company that made feminine hygiene products. That had made everyone laugh, even me; once I'd destroyed one of Esmé's cushions by repeatedly hitting my Uncle with it.

For my birthday, Jess had bought me a silver crescent moon pendant which had rendered me speechless. She had no idea what it meant for me to have a friend, especially with what I had to hide from her. Ricky had gotten me a card, but hadn't bought me a gift, saying he'd get it after school and give it to me this evening at band rehearsal. I reminded him I wouldn't be there tonight and he got a little frustrated that he hadn't remembered that.

After school, I stopped briefly by the house to change and grab my wet suit, then drove down to La Push. I didn't need the wet suit, freezing cold water wouldn't have bothered me, but it was part of 'fitting in'. I arrived at the Black's house to find Charlie already there, sitting out on the porch with Billy. He didn't look so happy, there was a tension around his eyes and I soon discovered why. Leah, Sue's daughter was here.

Jake was inside the cabin as was Sue. They were sat next to each other on the small sofa; Leah was sat opposite. She looked up when I entered the room but she didn't verbally acknowledge my being there. Her eyes told me that my presence here gave her no pleasure. Leah looked rough. Her eyes betrayed the fact that she'd recently been crying, her clothes looked slept in and her hair was lank and dishevelled. I hazarded a guess that another relationship had bitten the dust and she'd come to talk to her Mom about it. Why was Jake here though? He got up and came over to me.

"Happy Birthday." He said quietly with a smile that reached his eyes.

"Thank you."

"I'll be a few minutes. Why don't you get changed and go on up. I'll meet you at the top." I nodded and went to the bathroom to change into my wet suit.

I was out of the house and the tense atmosphere as quickly as I could be. Saying goodbye to Charlie and Billy and again promising to be careful, I headed up through the trees to the spot on the cliffs from where we jumped. I moved at my own pace and I was there in no time, breaking out of the trees to the edge of the cliffs and taking in the wide expanse of the Pacific Ocean. I sat down with my feet dangling over the edge and soaked up the rays of the sun. There was a single dark cloud in the sky to the southwest, a Leah in an otherwise cloudless blue sky. Why did she have to pick today of all days to show up here?

It was a good twenty minutes later that Jake finally arrived. I heard his footsteps approaching, bare feet on leaves and bark, and I turned around to see him emerge from the trees. I got up to greet him, wrapping my arms around his waist and hugging him. He hugged me too, smoothing his hands over my scalp, bringing them to rest on either side of my face. He tilted it up to his. He looked at me questioningly.

"How the heck are you six, already? Where's the time gone?" He shook his head in disbelief. He noticed the pendant around my neck. "Ah, that's what it looks like." He picked it up and turned it around in his fingers. "They did a good job. Odd that he gave it to you for your birthday; seeing as he'd had it before that." He scoffed. "Edward does many things I don't understand. He's…" Jake tailed off, shrugging his shoulders.

"Ancient?" I supplied and we both burst out laughing. My Dad looked seventeen but was actually one hundred and fifteen years old. It wasn't old in vampire terms - we knew vampires thousands of years old - but my Dad was old in the head and did a lot of things that Jake put down as 'old man stuff.' Always buying Volvo's for instance. Aunt Rose despaired of him and had insisted on coming with us when he bought my car, just so I wouldn't end up driving a Volvo.

"So then birthday girl, ready to get this party started?" Jake grinned at me and I gave a smile the size of a Cheshire cat back. We went and stood close to the edge of the cliff, looking at the sea below. This was one of my most favourite things to do and my heart rate quickened in anticipation. The water was relatively calm today, but whatever it was doing, it held no fear for me; I was here for the sheer thrill of jumping off a 100ft cliff.

I stood back a few paces to give Jake room.

"See you back here!" He called, and without fanfare he launched himself off the cliff, bringing his arms forward as he arced downwards into a dive. For his size he was surprisingly graceful through the air and I watched his descent and his smooth entry into the water.

"Eight point five." I called after him. He couldn't hear me, but it was what we did, marked each other's dives. A few seconds later I saw his head break the surface and him strike out for the beach further down.

I gave him time to get clear before circling back a few paces to give myself a run up. It was here, on this cliff, where I felt at my most invincible; perhaps that's why I liked it so much. I loved this! I could see how it was very easy to get addicted to this feeling, the exhilaration I was about to experience was second to none and that made the build up all the more exciting.

I brought my left leg forward and sank down, preparing to run. I could barely keep the grin off my face as I rocked back and forth on my heels and finally propelled myself forward, taking five steps and hurling myself off the cliff, into the air, giving a shout of joy as I did so. I went out four times further than Jake and as my body curved into the dive, I added two tumbles before stretching out and pointing my fingers downwards to the water below. Seconds later I pierced the water like a javelin and felt the water resistance gently slow me to a stop. I brought myself upright and pushed upwards for the surface. I lost no time in heading for the beach, if I ran at vampire pace and not human pace, I could beat Jake back up there no problem.

We jumped four times more, once in tandem before returning to the cliff top again to dry off in the sun. Jake and I chatted away about anything and everything before the sun began to sink into the horizon and the time came for us to make our way back to the cabin, where it was indeed spaghetti for dinner.

To my relief, Leah did not join us for dinner and Sue appeared a little happier than she had done earlier; hopefully the crisis had been averted this time. Not only had Billy cooked spaghetti, but he had pushed his culinary skills out further and baked a cake.

"Ok, so I had help," he admitted. "Emily came and showed me how to do it." We all laughed, but for a first attempt it was pretty good. Anything Emily Uley had her hand in making turned out pretty good; whether it was a cake or the two adorable scamps of children her and her husband Sam were the proud parents of.

Emily and Sam were in on my secret too. Sam was one of the tribe elders, with Billy, Jake and Sue. Following the cake's unveiling, there was a non-too-tuneful attempt at singing Happy Birthday, which made the Cheshire cat grin appear again on my face. Billy had put six candles on the cake and made me make a wish when I blew them out. He said I wasn't to tell anyone because it wouldn't come true otherwise, but I don't think I'd be giving away anything very secret if I said that I'd wished for everything to remain as happy as they were now.

As I tucked into the cake I heard a car approach. Looking around I saw a black Mercedes pull up. I was on my feet in no time, forgetting myself and garnering a warning from Billy for moving too quickly. I apologised, but if this was who I thought it was, they'd have to forgive me. The car door opened and from it stepped a small graceful woman, with cascades of soft caramel hair and a smile as warm as the tropics. Grandma Esmé! I clambered off my seat and ran off the porch to meet her, cannoning into her deceptively small frame, which didn't budge an inch when I hurled myself into her embrace and buried my face in her hair.

"If I'm going to get a welcome like this, I'll come and see you more often." She rubbed my back. "You smell of the sea. Have you been cliff diving?" I nodded into her shoulder, not really able to speak for fear of emitting loud blubs of happiness. "Come on; let me say hello to everyone else."

We walked the short distance back to the porch and as we arrived, Jake and Charlie got up to greet her.

"Surprised to see you here Esmé." Said Billy, she greeted him first, kissing him on the cheek. "Not that it isn't a pleasure to see you, anytime." Esmé went round the table greeting everyone else.

"I had a call this morning from a slightly anxious Bella. It seems that somebody was a little tearful on the computer this morning." Esmé looked at me, indulgently. "I thought I'd just drop by to make sure she was ok."

"Just drop by?" said Jake, incredulous. "That's an eight hour drive."

Esmé smiled broadly. "For Nessie? It's worth it. Besides, I can do it in six. Nessie you've not finished your cake honey, sit down sweetheart." Esmé went into her slightly bossy Grandma mode and we all moved up a bit on the bench to give her room to sit down. As Esmé asked about everyone and caught our group up on what the Cullen family were now doing, I did what I was told and finished up my cake. I was a contented little girl.

The evening was not the boisterous affair my birthdays usually were, but it was wonderful all the same. Having Grandma here was like getting an extra gift, although I felt quite bad that I'd worried Momma so much that she'd called her. Esmé and Carlisle were the closest members of my now dispersed family. Carlisle had taken up a position as a Doctor in Port Hardy, a small town on the northern tip of Vancouver Island. If I ran into trouble, they would come to my rescue. The rest of them were further afield: Mom and Dad were attending College in Dartmouth, Emmett and Rosalie were up near Calgary and Jasper and Alice had gone to upstate New York.

They had sent gifts, which I'd opened this morning; including a book that they'd all made. It was essentially a photograph album, but not just of photographs. Each person had written a letter to me, recalling their favourite moments of our lives together so far and what they loved about me. It was beautifully bound and finished with a lock. A symbol that it was part of my life that had to remain under lock and key; but when I wanted to be reminded of who I truly was, I had this wonderful, special album that I could pull out.

When I had arrived at Charlie and Sue's, Dad had shown me a point in the floor of Mom's old room where you could lift a floor board. I could hide the album under there and it would be quite safe. I'd put it there when I got back later this evening, after I'd looked at it and no doubt cried over it again.

The day retained its warmth well into the evening so the six of us sat on the porch until late. I reclined against Jake in the easy familiarity we always did, occasionally scooting down the bench to snuggle up for a few minutes with Grampa or claim another hug from Grandma. Grandma decided that she'd stay at the Cullen house that night and catch the first ferry from Port Angeles in the morning. I watched the black Mercedes drive away so glad that she'd come. I'd been able to tell her about Jess although I glossed over Jess's obsession (which Charlie gleefully dwelt on), and told her about the band. I was doing well at school, I had friends and I was fitting in fine. I didn't mention the fledging relationship with Ricky or the difficulty with his unpleasant ex-girlfriend. There were some things you had to keep from people, to stop them worrying about you.

When it came time for me to go, I realised to my annoyance that I'd left my neoprene shoes on the cliff top.

"I'll get them and you can call by at the garage for them tomorrow." said Jake.

"No it's ok, I'll run and get them, I'll be two minutes." I threw my bag into the foot well of the passenger seat and slammed the door.

"Ok, be careful Ness, Sue and I will see you back at home." Charlie and Sue pulled away and I walked back into the trees picking up speed once I was out of sight.

In the dark I could see just as well as in daylight, and as I knew the path so well I was up at the cliff top in no time. But I wasn't alone. This was where Leah was, feet dangling over the edge and a large, half-empty bottle of vodka by her side. Her reaction to my arrival told me that I was the last person she wanted to see.

"Whaddya want? " She snapped. "There's no happy birthday here." I could see fresh tear tracks on her cheeks.

"I came for my shoes." I said, quickly retrieving them. "Sorry for disturbing you. I'll go."

"Sorry for disturbing me?" She scoffed. "I'll go?" She repeated my words with deep sarcasm and gave me a look that conveyed pure hatred of me. "You have _no_ idea how much you disturb me and I wish you and your…_family_" she spat the word out as if it were poison, "would not just go, but disappear from existence. Not everybody wants to wish _you_ a happy birthday kiddo. Some of us wish you'd been strangled at birth. I wish your mother had died the day she jumped off this cliff. I wish she had been the one to die that day, not my Dad." She took a swig from the bottle and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. She lifted up the bottle to me. "Happy Birthday Renesmee Cullen." She slurred. "Go rot in hell!" I turned to go. "Oh no, don't go, I've only just started. Pull up a rock; you can do that can't you? Freak. As you're here, let me tell you exactly why I hate you and your whole stinking, bloodsucking family so much." She swayed alarmingly and I stayed, for no other reason that if she looked like she would overbalance and go over, I could grab her on the way down and pull her away from the cliff.

Mercifully, as I sat down, she pulled her legs up and moved away from the edge, turning around to face me. The lull in her attack lasted only until she had made herself comfortable and taken another swig from the bottle.

"Your family ruined my life." She snapped, talking deep, rasping breaths to fight back the anger and tears to speak. "If your family hadn't come back here it would be me lying in Sam's arms, not Emily. Did you know that?" I shook my head. "Before you, before Bella, before Carlisle and everything; Sam and I… We had it good." She picked up a stone and threw it. "And then the Cullens came back and my life… Got flushed down the toilet. Bye bye life." She waved. She brought the bottle to her lips again. "Losing Sam to Emily in all this imprinting crap was bad enough, but the Cullens weren't finished with me yet, 'cause you know damn well what your presence here does to some _lucky_ Quileute's." I did. There were creatures other than vampires running over the Olympic peninsula. "For the guys it's fine, '_wey hey I can turn into a wolf, let's run about and kill some vampires_.'" She parodied the bravado of teenage boys discovering their new found freedom in being able to change into wolves. "It's different for girls." She added quietly, heartbreakingly. I wasn't going anywhere now, Leah was hurting badly. I had a single crumb of comfort to offer her.

"There's only me now, the rest of them are gone."

She scoffed. "The damage is done you idiot! The genie can't go back in the bottle; Sam can't un-imprint himself from Emily, your mother can't come back from that dead state she's in, not that I liked her anyway, for what she did to Jake." I frowned, what had Momma done to Jake? They'd always been good friends. Leah looked at me, well tried to look at me; her eyes were having difficulty focussing, but she must have seen the questioning look on my face. "She didn't tell you?" She sneered. "Perhaps you'd better ask Mommy dearest what she was doing before she got all loved up with darling Daddy. Jake loved her so much and she dropped him like a stone when lover boy came back from…" she flung out her left arm. "Wherever he'd run off too." Came back? Came back from where? Dad ran off? Again I was confused. "Did Daddy never tell you he ran away? And Bella ran straight into the arms of Jake too. You should get them to tell you about it sometime, that would be a happy family chat." She smirked, sensing victory over me and drank deeply from the bottle.

"Have I shattered the illusion of your perfect parents for you Renesmee? You know, if your Daddy hadn't have come crawling back here, Bella would be one of us and no doubt living here on the Reservation. Baking cookies and popping out kids every eighteen months, like Emily does." The mention of Emily's name caused a shadow to pass over Leah's face. She shook her head as if to dislodge an annoying fly. "You'd never have been born, not that you should have been anyway. Sam should have had his way as the Alpha, he wanted you destroyed." Leah rolled her eyes. "And then, of course, Jake came to Bella's rescue and we all know why that was."

If she wanted her words to hurt me she would be glad to know that they were doing just that. The clear waters of my parent's marriage were suddenly muddy. Where did Jake fit in to this? Sam wanted me destroyed? I turned the last word over and over in my head and my happy little world shifted on its axis.

Leah paused for a while, staring at a point on the ground in front of her. I said nothing; there was nothing I could say to the charge of someone not wanting you to be born.

"It's fine for the guys, they have fun as wolves. For me, it's just one misery after another." Leah took another drink. "I can't keep a boyfriend; every relationship falls apart because of the lies I have to tell and the secrets I have to keep." She spoke very quietly now, the gasping, struggling breath was back and I surmised that after all the raging against who was to blame, this was what really and truly grieved her. "And I can never have a baby!" She wailed. The tears came and as she hurried to cover her face with her hands, the bottle fell to the ground, spilling its contents over the edge of the cliff.

I didn't know what to do, so I sat there, unmoving, as Leah vented her pain. After a few minutes she collected herself a little, enough to look up at me. Her eyes were red and swollen, she was swaying increasingly badly and she could barely speak coherently.

"Are you liking Forks?" She asked, using a softer tone. I nodded. "Mom tells me you've made friends." I nodded again. "Don't expect to keep them." She warned; the sharp edge returning. "Secrets and lies are not compatible with friendships and relationships; they destroy everything that's good in your life. There is so much you have to keep from those you want to be closest too, that in the end it tears you apart and ruins everything. People get hurt because of our secrets and lies. Don't think for one minute girl that your time here will be easy, it won't. Not that Jake won't try and make it easier for you, the stupid imprinted fool."

Just then I heard footsteps and recognised Jake's approach. A few seconds later he ran out from the trees. Leah's hearing must have been dulled by her drinking. "Speak of the devil." She scoffed.

"I came to find out where Nessie had got to." He said curtly.

Leah gestured in my direction, swaying wildly as she did so. "As you can see, Nessie's right here. We've been having a talk. Girl stuff."

"Well it's time for her to go," Jake put out an arm to help me up. "It's late. Do you want come back with us?" He wasn't particularly compassionate with her, but he wasn't nasty. I guess it wasn't the first time he'd seen her like this. Leah shook her head. "I think you should." Jake pressed; an insistence in his voice.

"Are you compelling me, as my Alpha?" Leah's sneered and she struggled to get to her feet.

"I will do, if that's what it takes, but I just want you safe and away from the cliff. You need to sleep this off."

"What the hell do you know about what I need?" She snapped, swaying alarmingly and staggered back involuntarily. She was now only a few steps away from the edge. If she fell now, she would almost certainly go over the edge. "Go to hell!" She shouted.

"Not today." Jake replied, walking over, scooping Leah up and throwing her over his shoulder. "Come on Ness, got your shoes?" I grabbed the shoes again, the long-forgotten reason I had been here in the first place and we set off down the forest trail. We walked in silence, but hadn't gone far before Leah yelled to be put down. Jake righted her; she slumped to her knees and was immediately sick. As she vomited she cried, and Jake crouched down beside her, gently rubbing her back. When it had passed and Leah was calm we set off again, Jake carrying her in his arms. She was slumped against him; head lolling on his shoulder, emotional exhaustion claiming her.

When we reached the Clearwater's cabin I knocked on the door. Her brother Seth opened it and Jake took Leah through to her room. I pulled back the duvet and Jake lowered her gently onto the bed, covering her up. She looked peaceful, but I wondered for how long.

Back outside, Jake walked me to my car.

"I'll drive you home." He said.

"I'm fine." I assured him.

"Ness let me drive you home please." He was quiet and firm. "That was no girly chat was it?" I couldn't meet his gaze. "She had a go at you?" I didn't reply instantly, trying to phrase a reply. None came, but the familiar prick of tears did. I reluctantly nodded and turned my face away from him. "What did she say?"

"Stuff." I didn't know if I wanted to verbalise it. I dug in my pockets for my keys and handed them to him. Jake and Mom? Since when? I thought she and Dad had been together right from her first day at Forks High School? Leah had cast doubt on that, telling me that Dad had gone away, run away even, and Mom and Jake had been together in that time. Did Jake still love Mom? How do I talk about that with Jake, with Mom or with Dad? Did Dad know? I'm sure Dad knew there were few things you could keep from him; he could read people's minds. Even if Jake or Mom hadn't said anything, Jake's thoughts would have most likely betrayed him. Everyone but Mom was an open book to Dad, which made planning anything special for him a bit of a nightmare.

Jake started the engine, I got in and we set off back down the forest-lined road to Forks. I sat in silence. That seemed to bug Jake.

"Nessie, please tell me what she said."

"It's not important."

"It clearly is or you would be chattering away like you usually do. Did she tell you that Sam wasn't wild about your birth?' A polite way of putting it I thought. I nodded. "None of us had any idea what we were facing with you. But tell me this Ness. Do you think Sam and Emily would have been so welcoming and friendly over the years, and allowed you to spend time with their kids, if Sam hadn't seen for himself that you were nothing to be afraid of? You're just a little girl – well not too little now." He smiled and I tried to smile too, but it was feeble. He reached a hand across and placed it over mine which were clasped on my lap. "People say some stupid things when they're frightened or upset. Sam said that one back then and Leah…" He exhaled loudly in irritation. "I'll speak to her tomorrow about it. I'm sorry Ness."

"It's ok."

"It's not ok." He said firmly. "Leah needs to get help." That I agreed with.

We arrived at the house and got out. Jake locked my car and handed me the keys.

"Can I come up for a while?"

"I'm tired." I lied.

"Don't shut me out Ness, what else did she say?"

"She told me not to expect my friends to stick around. That the lies and the secrets that we have in our lives destroy everything."

"That isn't true. That is Leah's experience, sadly; but it isn't anyone else's. We go about our business like anybody else does, it's not a problem and it won't be for you. Charlie manages just fine knowing about the vampires and the wolves and I don't see his life falling apart." Jake opened his arms and before I knew what I was doing I was in them, cheek pressed up against his bare chest. A sudden unsettling image of my mother doing the same thing flashed into my mind and I backed away from him, there was a sudden jolt within me, like a rubber band snapping. Backing away was not something I did. "Nessie?" He was anxious and grabbed my hand, lifting it to his cheek, but I was stronger and pulled it away. "I need to know what's upset you."

"Let it go." I snapped, turning on my heel and starting for the house.

"Damn you Leah Clearwater!" I heard him seethe under his breath.

The front door opened and Charlie stood in the doorway, pushing open the screen door as I approached.

"You're late. Is everything alright?" I nodded, but Charlie looked past me. "Jake?"

"No." Oh no, please don't let them start.

"Leah?" Jake must have nodded, I didn't see. "It's in hand." He replied.

"She had a go at Ness" 'Damn it Jake!' I yelled in the privacy of my head.

"I think she's taken a pop at everyone today."

"Yeah."

"Don't worry about it Jake, Sue's gonna get her some help."

"Good."

"Thanks for bringing Nessie back. Night Jake."

"Night." I turned to watch as he loped away into the night.

I felt different and not in a good way. An unspoken and undefined link had been severed within me and I felt disconnected from Jake. Just as I had secrets he had secrets in his life. He had been in love with my Mom. He had had a relationship with my Mom. Was he friends with me just to feel close to her? Why had my Dad left? Endless questions ran though my head.

Charlie closed and bolted the door for the night.

"Don't worry about anything Leah said to you. She's not a very well person right now and Sue's going to be in touch with a counsellor first thing tomorrow." He kissed my forehead. "You go on up now. I hope, despite Leah, that you had a good birthday?"

"Yes." Bits of it had been, but my birthday felt like months ago.

"Good. Well, up you go; school tomorrow." I smiled weakly and went up to my room. School was the last thing on my mind.

I turned around in my room, the room that had once been my mothers. It had comforted me that Dad and she had spent time in this room together and now I felt unsettled, nauseous, because all that was now in the realm of uncertainty. Jake had been here too. I had always believed that there was no-one for my Mom other than Dad. But now, in my mental picture of them, Jake was in the background, like a shadow. How could she be with Jake and love Dad? Where had he gone anyway? Why did he leave? Why had my parents lied to me?

My head was a troubled and unsettled place that night and I did not sleep well. Concrete had given way to shifting sands and the Garden of Eden had a serpent in it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**** - **Being Human

In the weeks following my birthday, I retreated. The disconnection I had felt that night persisted and I found myself subtly distancing myself from Jake. Somehow, he no longer seemed like 'my Jake'; it felt like I had been given someone else's discarded toy to play with. I made excuses to not go down to the Reservation; throwing myself wholeheartedly into school, my studies, the band and Ricky. The only thing I could not get out of was my Friday nights with him. There, I kept our interaction to a minimum: I went out, I killed stuff, I came home; the quicker I could get it over with, the better. I began to resent having to balance the vampire with the human, wanting less and less to do with the vampire part of me. While other people went around being glad it was Friday, it became my worst day of the week. Not that I could escape Jake; he was always dropping by to speak to Charlie, although why he didn't drop by the station first I didn't know; Charlie was far more likely to be there than here in the late afternoon.

Jake was not the only person I started distancing myself from. Conversations with my parents became increasingly truncated, with excuses about homework load, band rehearsals or anything else I could engineer to be at when they called. I became even more of a proficient liar, telling them just enough but never the whole truth. I really didn't know what to say to them anymore. There were big chunks of their lives I didn't know about and with my Mom especially, I became angry that she'd not remained faithful to Dad in his absence. How could she do that to him!

It was slightly easier to talk to Esmé, Carlisle or my Uncles and Aunts; but even there I started wondering what else they were hiding from me and stopped making the effort to call.

I wanted truth, I wanted reality and for that, even though my reality was not entirely truthful, I had to go with what I had in front of me. My day-to-day human world became a refuge. These people were real and weren't hiding large chunks of themselves away. Everything to do with my vampire side or the wolves, I pushed as far out to the side of my life as it would go. Being Human was my over-riding concern and I had two good things going for me in that regard. Firstly, Jess was a perfect role model. Confident and outgoing, she took life in her stride, doing things her own way and I wanted to be like her. Secondly, I had a boyfriend. A living, breathing, eating and sleeping, actual human boyfriend!

Within a week of our first date, Ricky and I were officially together and I was, as Jess called it, _loved up_. Personally, I couldn't see what the fuss was all about; I felt perfectly normal and not particularly inclined to follow Ricky around like a small puppy – as I'd observed other girls with boyfriends doing – but I did like him a lot. His life was an uncomplicated case of 'what you see is what you get' and that was nice. He was passionate about music and music was what I was about these days. Not only was he responsible for dragging my musical tastes into the twenty first century, he was also responsible for another part of my social development: My first kiss.

I'll admit that I'm not exactly the world's greatest authority on relationships, but I've seen enough movies to know that your first kiss is supposed to be very romantic. Mine, however, wouldn't fall into that category; unless your idea of romance is being in a dark corner of the outer west wall of Black's Auto Repair, on a rainy Tuesday night. But what it lacked in romance it made up for in thrill and I held my breath the whole time. There was a part of me that had to be kept firmly in check whilst I was so close to a human and not breathing was the easiest way to do that.

There was all the uncertainty about me. Would my lips feel different to other girl's lips? He'd kissed other girls before; he'd know how it should feel. Would there be something odd about the way my lips felt under his? What if there was? I'd have to come up with a quick explanation.

He brought his face down to mine and there was no hesitation in him as our lips touched. Gentle, almost hesitant at first, then building; wrapping an arm around me and pulling me closer to him. He didn't stop. I must feel ok to him. But I was on edge, expecting him to pull away or push me away and call me a freak. It didn't happen so I stopped analyzing and tried to enjoy it. It was… nice. His lips felt very soft, in a squishy, beanbag sort of a way. The stars didn't swirl, no choirs sang but it left a cheeky smile on my face, so he went in for another one. I was better that time. I still didn't breathe, though.

Jess replaced Jake as my best friend and I studied everything she did, soaking up every aspect of her life and yes, even grudgingly admitting that _Vampire Nights_ was good; once I'd ignored the serious comedic elements about what they thought vampires were all about. At the heart of it though, was a story about two people who loved each other, in spite of one of them being a very great danger to the other. I found myself wondering if there were any parallels to my parents' life and then pushed that thought aside. Of course there hadn't been. Dad had been drinking animal blood a very long time before he met Mom, he wouldn't have been any greater danger to her than, say, Mike Newton was. I did crack a smile at what Alric did to his rivals though, musing on whether Dad had ever wanted to kill Mr Newton. It would have saved us from the utter tedium that was his class, if he had.

Where Jess may not fit in to the student body in a visual sense, in an academic sense she did. Early on, she taught me what she considered to be a very valuable life lesson; don't be the top of the class. The high flyers get noticed and get called on. If you kept your head down, you could go through school virtually unnoticed and with minimal effort.

"Do what you need to do and nothing more, that's my motto." She said, so I did. My grades slipped, falling behind those of Pete Degrassi and into the band of the also-rans. At first it wasn't easy, getting it right was easy for me; intentionally making mistakes or training myself to not get it wholly right all the time, was a skill that took a little while to acquire. I didn't slip far enough for anyone to call Charlie, just enough to blend in and not to be noticed.

By the middle of October, saving Fridays, I'd have defied anyone to pick out the abnormalities in my life. I'd made a pretty good job of assimilating, if I did say so myself. Every day I went to school, I attended class, I did the work and I absolutely lived for lunchtimes. Lunchtime was Ricky time. Lunchtime was band time.

The five members of our still unnamed band sat in the same area of the cafeteria every day and our group had expanded; drawing in other friends of Ricky, Zak and Dan. Jess and I had also made other friends. Naomi Hughes we both liked, but I was having a harder time with Chrissy Collins, who I'd worked out hung around because she had a crush on Ricky. I probably didn't help our friendship by frequently going to sit on Ricky's lap and making her see that I was with him. I took a wicked sort of pleasure in that.

These friends, including Naomi and Chrissy, also came to our rehearsals. Zak liked the feedback and it helped me get used to singing to other people, instead of at a wall. I was glad that Jake, if he was working late, didn't come through anymore, other than to talk necessary things, like locking up. Zak had forgotten to do it one time. I was… Well, I'm sure you can guess where I was.

Things with the band were going well, they were going better than well, it was rapidly becoming the main thing in my life. I may be giving my formal education minimal attention, but there was no such ambivalence to the music. I devoted myself to the task of learning about it; listening to everything I could, watching endless music videos and reading stacks of biographies on women in rock.

Away from my time with Ricky and my obligatory Friday nights, Jess and I were inseparable and I started to take up semi-permanent residence at the Taylor's house. Mrs Taylor, or Susie as she insisted I call her, didn't seem to mind; frequently stretching her cooking one mouth further at dinner. I soon discovered where Jess got her flair for the dramatic from, when she took me into her parents' room one Wednesday afternoon and opened her Mom's closet. There, between the hangers of perfectly ordinary 'Mom clothes' were a brace of items that I couldn't imagine her ever wearing to shop at Thriftway. They were made of chiffon, lace and velvet; Jess pulled one out.

"You'd look great in this, try it on!" Jess pulled the black top off the hanger and handed it to me.

"Is your Mom ok with this?"

"Yeah, she lets me borrow them all the time." I pulled off my top and put on the black chiffon one. Jess did the laces up at the back. It was very low-cut, very sheer and showed off rather more than I'd want to. "Very nice," she approved, "although you'll need to wear a black bra, or a basque underneath it. A basque would be better." She stood back to appraise me. "I'm sure Ricky wouldn't mind taking you shopping for one of those." She added with an impish grin. I was suddenly very self-conscious, this was distinctly uncomfortable territory. I wasn't entirely sure I knew how to 'do sexy.' I took the top off, handed it back and put my own back on. The black chiffon top was lovely and it did look good on me but I wasn't comfortable with what it suggested. I may be physically seventeen, but there were aspects of me that were lagging slightly behind.

Jess pulled out another piece, a fantastic handkerchief hemline skirt and I realised where I'd seen this style before.

"Stevie Nicks?" I said.

"Yeah, my Mum's a huge fan of hers. Where do you think I get my inspiration from? Well, apart from vampires. That's how I dress; a Stevie Nicks-ish vampire. I don't particularly care for her music, but I love the way she dresses. I wish Mum would give me these clothes, but she doesn't want to let them go. She's clinging on to her youth." Jess grinned. "Oh look at these!" She dropped to the floor and rummaged about in the shoes and boots, pulling out some black suede platform boots. "Aren't they gorgeous!" she said, stroking them. She held them to her cheek. "I love them, I want them. I can't have them." She pouted.

"Why not?"

Jess looked at me sadly. "My feet got too big." A laugh burst out of me. "Not very rock and roll is it, your feet getting too big?" I shook my head and we laughed. Jess closed the closet door and we headed back into her room.

Jess's room was enormous, three times bigger than mine. Against one wall she had a silver, metal-framed bed, over which was draped a black voile canopy fixed to the ceiling. It hung to the floor, where it formed a pool of fabric around the top half of the bed. The walls were painted the colour of heather and on them were black-rimmed posters of Alric and Christianne. Her shelves were stacked with books of vampire stories and all her ornaments picked up on a vampire or fantasy theme. She had a large jewellery chest that dripped with pendants of every description; including, I noted, the same silver half-moon that she had bought me; although Jess had replaced the chain with black ribbon. Jess's room spoke of drama, of theatre, of passion, danger and other-worldliness. If this was how she thought vampires lived, it would have been churlish of me to suggest that she pick pieces from the IKEA catalogue instead. Esmé was in charge of furnishing the Cullen house and she loved contemporary design. She _was_ the vampire in Home Depot buying wallpaper and curtains. Dan, unbeknown to him, was right on the money there. Jess, however, along with countless other people out there, believed that vampires preferred the gothic style and who was I to argue. There might be some for all knew; I wasn't an expert on them by any means.

In one corner, Jess had a TV and DVD player and she pressed play on another episode of _Vampire Nights_. We were approaching the end of season two now and I was finally taking an interest. Life was getting dangerous for Alric and Christianne, with Alric taking more and more risks to be with his love. He couldn't come out during the day, so he'd taken to hiding under the floor of her room. This amused me, thinking of my own hole in the floor and my own vampires stored under it. Of course, Christianne retreated to her room to be close to him. It was a bit schmaltzy in places but I glossed over that, preferring the bits where anyone who tried to threaten her got their throats ripped out. It was an effective way to deal with your enemies and if Emilie Peterson ever tried to intimidate me again, I'd bear it in mind.

I loved being at the Taylor's house. Jess's Mom made it feel welcoming and friendly, which I noticed Sue did not. At home, I felt like I was in the way. Granted, it was a small house, we only had the two bedrooms, but it was more than that. The Taylor's house was as large and spacious as Susie was kind and generous. I felt at ease there and Susie mothered me in a way that made me think of Esmé. Not that my Mom didn't mother me, but Esmé and Susie shared a style of hospitality which revolved around food. Mom and I had our Mommy Daughter time wrapped in each other's arms on the sofa, reading books or talking; food wasn't really a social activity for vampires. Esmé, however, loved to cook and with Charlie, Sue, Billy, Jake and even Sue's son Seth around on occasions, she got the chance to entertain in a way she couldn't for the rest of us.

Mom, Dad and she had cooked for me occasionally, especially in the lead up to me 'leaving for Forks' and getting accustomed to a more human diet. Momma had taught me how to make a few simple things for myself, some of Grampa's favourites and most importantly, she'd taught me how to make proper Mexican food.

"Not that stuff they think is Mexican around here." She'd reproved.

I laughed. "Mom, when did you last eat Mexican food?" It seemed silly that she was complaining about something she couldn't eat.

"Five days before I got married." She said, making short work of chopping a chilli pepper.

"You can remember that?" I queried. She nodded.

"I made an effort to remember a lot of things."

"Why?" I'd become far more curious about my mother's former life prior to my 'departure'.

"There is so much of your Dad in them. I don't want to forget a second of that." She beamed.

"Do you remember a lot about school?" I was particularly obsessed with school and what it would be like. Emmett had told me it was a whole heap of boring and had left it at that. Not helpful. I was hoping Mom could tell me more.

"The bits I choose to remember, yes. Chop that onion for me Ness." I set to work slicing the onion.

"Were there bad bits you don't want to remember?"

"No, just lots of boring bits." Oh great, more of the boring. "Apart from meeting your Dad, school was dull." This wasn't what I expected. I'd been watching _High School Musical_; it looked like I'd have to make a mental adjustment to what I was expecting.

"Do you remember meeting Dad?" We'd never talked about that before. She nodded.

"Yes," She nodded. "My first day in school, I saw him sat across the other side of the cafeteria with Alice, Jasper, Rose and Emmett. He was…" Her eyes radiated the familiar love they had for each other. "Beautiful."

"And when did you meet him for the first time?"

"That was in Biology. That didn't go quite so…" She didn't get to finish her sentence. There was a crash from the living room and we walked in to find Seth holding a ball, Jake looking sheepish and a large pile of broken glass where a vase had once been.

I'd never finished the conversation with Mom about her and Dad's first days together and with what I knew now, perhaps I wouldn't; perhaps I'd skip right to the part with the questions hanging over them. I zoned my parents out, focusing back to the here and now and things that didn't make me angry.

It was Wednesday night; I was at the Taylor's house and the family routine was familiar to me now. Dan was in his room next door, picking away on his guitar and writing songs. I could hear Susie and Brian downstairs chatting, clearing up after dinner and I looked across at Jess and had to smile. She was in familiar residence on Planet Alric. I looked at my watch; I'd have to go soon; back to a house that was increasingly becoming just a place to sleep.

Compared to the life and the welcome at the Taylors, the Swan house was lifeless. Charlie just sat in front of the TV all evening and Sue was either out or sat silently doing her cross-stitch. If Sue was out then Billy or Jake were here to watch sport but there was none of the happy chatter that there was in the Taylor's house and I didn't feel like one of the family, in the way that Susie made me feel like one of her family. She included me; she asked my opinion on things. Sue and Charlie didn't want to know my views on what colour they should paint the living room, or which kitchen cabinets I preferred. Susie and Brian were choosing a new kitchen and Susie had Jess and I holding lengths of counter top and cupboard doors together, trying to work out what the nicest combination would be. In the end, we decided that white doors and plain wooden counters would be the best. It was such a simple little thing to be included in, but I relished it. Grampa's house had a new kitchen three years ago after Sue decided she'd had enough of the hand-painted yellow cupboards. She didn't consult anyone; she just went ahead and did it. Grampa didn't seem to mind, but I know it got to Mom a little; it wasn't Sue's house, after all.

Later, as I arrived home and got out of my car, I heard the sound of raised voices. All was not well with Charlie and Sue. I stood at the end of the path, listening. They were arguing about Leah, no surprise there. Unlike previous times, the Leah problem hadn't gone away and like a distant summer thunderstorm she'd rumbled on. Leah herself had gone back to Seattle to try and make things work with Greg, but her problems remained; or at least her problems remained with Sue who was trying to sort them out. From the argument, it sounded like Charlie was objecting to Leah coming to stay so Sue could take care of her. Leah was drinking heavily and Sue thought that if she came to stay, she'd be able to help Leah quit. Sue's house down at La Push was Seth and his girlfriend Anna's now. I knew Anna wasn't wild about Leah either; she wouldn't want her there, as much as Charlie wouldn't want her here.

I didn't want to disturb them, so I walked around to the back of the house and in breach of my own self-imposed ban on anything vampire, I climbed up the back of the house and on to the roof. I picked my way carefully across the tiles and peered out onto the street below. I had the front bedroom and needed to check that the street was empty, before I dropped down from the eaves and levered up the window with my foot. Dad, in one good bit of advice he did give me, told me to always leave it unlatched for just such eventualities. I swung in, landing silently and pulled it back down after me. Ok, so being half vampire had its advantages. It also had its disadvantages; I could hear every single word they were saying and I hoped this wasn't going to go on too long. I also hoped I wasn't going to get yelled at for climbing in through the window and not announcing I was here.

"Whatever." I thought, parroting Jess's reaction for anything she didn't want to deal with. I got changed for bed.

In the morning, the argument had blown itself out and Sue was cheerful when I came down for breakfast.

"Good morning Ness." She beamed. "Could I get you anything for breakfast? I have some pancakes on the griddle if you'd like?" I nodded; I never passed up the opportunity for pancakes. I was soon bolting down hot pancakes drowned in maple syrup. "I have my study group tonight; I wondered if you'd mind getting dinner for Charlie and yourself, then I could go straight from work? I still have some preparation to do."

"No, that's fine, I don't mind."

"Thanks Ness. It's a weight off my mind knowing that Charlie isn't on the loose in the kitchen." I smiled. Poor Grampa; perhaps I should get Mom over to give her Dad some lessons. Sue left for work shortly after and I headed on out to school, kicking through piles of golden leaves that were being blown about by the swirling autumn eddies.

I drove the short way to school and parked up. Jess was already waiting for me, pacing about like a caged lion.

"Oh thank God you're here; I was going to text you. There's been a cancellation! Our first gig is Friday October 30th Aargh!" She screamed in mock horror. "Oh, and there's this." She handed me a purple envelope from a small stack she held in her hand. I opened it and pulled out the card. It was a birthday party invitation for the day after, Halloween. "We're having a combined birthday and Halloween party." I looked at the title of it; I really should not have been surprised.

Jess and Dan Taylor invite you to their

17th Birthday / Halloween party

**Vampire Nights**

From 8pm onwards, 21430 Forest Road  
>Dress: Vampire<p>

"You've gotta come dressed as a vampire or you can't come in."

"A vampire party?"

"Durr! What do you expect me to throw, a teddy bears' picnic? I am vampire girl; it shall be my personal homage to Alric and Christanne. I've already ordered a ton of black decorations off the internet. Did you know you can get bottles of beer that look like blood?" I pulled a face, beer that looked like blood sounded vile.

"No? What does that taste of? O Negative?"

"I dunno, It's beer, so beery blood?" She laughed and shrugged her shoulders. "Anyway, you can buy it. I'm trying to get my Mum to get me some."

"Your birthday's the following Saturday on November 5th, right?"

"Yes, but you can't pass up an excuse to dress up like a vampire and terrorise the neighbourhood. Besides, Halloween's such a big thing in America, it's nothing like this at home." Jess shook her head. "Ack! I mean, in Britain. This is home," She said, pointing to the blacktop of the parking lot. "I live here now, I keep forgetting."

"How many are you inviting?" I looked at the stack of cards. There were fifteen.

"About thirty people."

"Thirty? Do we _know_ thirty people?"

"Possibly not, but I thought we should get to know some more of them. You know, win friends and influence people, that sort of thing? And it's Dan's party too, so he's gonna invite some friends."

"Has he invited Sadie?" Sadie was the girl he sat next to in Biology, she was besotted with him.

"No? Yeah! We should invite Sadie, she'd love it! I have a spare invite." She rummaged in her bag and triumphantly pulled out a blank card and envelope, scribbled Sadie's name on the card and jammed it into the envelope. "Come on, let's give out invites!" We ambled off into school.

In nine days time we would be doing our first gig at The Shed. We had so much to do; think of a name for the band, decide on what we were going to sing and get some publicity out to promote ourselves. We didn't want to be the band nobody came to see. Because the place didn't serve alcohol it would be easy to get people from school to support us, but we needed to get the posters up tomorrow at the latest if we wanted to do that.

At lunchtime, Zak confirmed it. We would be the first slot and we could do four songs. We had to come up with a band name today because the flyers for next Friday night went to press on Friday morning. Zak had to get the band name to them tonight at the latest.

"Anybody got any ideas?" He said. We all sat there, chewing our food and thinking hard.

"Box of Frogs?" Suggested Ricky.

"No, there's a band called that already." Replied Dan.

"Vampire…"

"Absolutely not!" Dan cut his sister off. "I'm not being in a band called vampire anything, or anything to do with vampires." Well that ruled out Jake's suggestion of Bella and the Cullens.

"I can't do this in five minutes Zak." Said Jess, a bit irritated. "Band names take time to gestate, to evolve. Is there anything to do with Forks that we can use?"

"I don't think Boring as Shit is a good band name, Jess." We snickered at Dan's suggestion.

"No! I mean its history, its culture. There's a Reservation down the road, surely there's something from there we could use."

"Their folklore seems to have a lot to do with wolves." How did Ricky know, I wondered? Quileute folklore wasn't widely known.

"Wolves are sexy, I can work with wolves." Said Jess. She put her fingers to her temples. "Wolves. Wolver, no."

"What about where you come from?" Zak stabbed his juice carton with a straw. "Anything English we could use?"

"Where would you start?" Said Jess. "There's millions."

"Possibly not something we should start today." Zak slurped the last of his juice.

We sat there for the rest of lunch and came up with nothing. By the end we were getting slightly desperate.

"Let's pick a word out of a dictionary for Friday night?" Suggested Jess. "We can come up with something else later."

"Sounds like an idea," Zak was enthusiastic about that. "Let's get to the library."

The five of us pelted our way over to the library in the remaining few minutes we had and Dan pulled a large dictionary off the shelf, smacking it down on a table. The rest of us stood around.

"Ok." said Zak "Three pages. We've gotta come up with a name in three pages.

Dan stuck his thumb into a page and opened it. We were in the M's. He dragged his index finger down the entries.

"That!" Shouted Zak and pointed to a word on the page.

"What? No!" Said Ricky.

"We'll be here forever if we don't pick something, it's nicely ambiguous, I'll be fine." There was a reluctant nod of agreement from all of us. "Ok," said Zak. I'll text them." He pulled out his phone. Dan replaced the dictionary and we made our way back to the cafeteria. We had a name, it may not be the greatest band name on the planet, but it was a name.

Rehearsal that night took on a serious quality. There was none of the usual joking about before we started; it was all very businesslike and serious. We picked out our set list; two cover songs and two we'd written as a band. Ricky was a bit of a genius with melodies while Dan and Zak had come up with some good lyrics. Jess and I had added a minor touch here and there, but nothing major. In the last few weeks, I'd had a go at writing songs and hadn't found it easy. My head was a logical, empirical place and although I could appreciate poetry and lyrics, nothing that came from my pen really flowed. There was time though, it was early days. We had two original songs in our set list and we were proud of that.

I told Charlie about the gig and braced myself for the 'be careful.' It didn't come. What did however, surprised me.

"I'll come and see you."

I stared at him. "Really?" I was thrilled.

"Sure, I'd love that, seeing my granddaughter on stage. Do you mind me being there?"

"No, I'd love it!"

"I wouldn't be cramping your style, would I?"

I laughed. "What style would that be?"

"Well… Y'know, my job doesn't exactly make me the greatest guest at parties."

"I don't care. Will Sue come?"

Grampa wrinkled his nose. He didn't answer me right away. "Do you mind if it's just me?" I shook my head. No, I didn't. I could see rock music might not be Sue's thing.

By lunchtime Friday, Zak had been emailed the flyer from The Shed and stopped by the computer department to print it. He rolled it out on the table in front of us in the cafeteria and we stared at it in silence. There was our name; in the smallest font, at the bottom of the bill, but it was a start. We had a gig! Jess and I hugged each other, laughing; this was finally happening and there was an amusing amount of back-slapping and high-fiving going on between the guys.

By the time we got out of school for the day, word had spread and we'd amassed a good number who'd said they'd be there for our debut. As Jess and I walked to my car she voiced her biggest fear about it.

"What are we gonna wear?" She wailed. She was already wearing an outfit that wouldn't have looked out of place on a stage. Perhaps she'd go completely the other way and pitch up in jeans. "We should go shopping tomorrow. How long does it take to get to Seattle?"

"A couple of hours I guess." I'd been to Seattle many times over the years, but being 'new to Forks' I'd have to feign ignorance. "I guess the best way would be to go from the Kingston or Bremerton Ferries if you don't mind an early start."

"How early?"

"For a day in Seattle?" I connected my phone to the internet and looked at the ferry times from Bremerton. "Better be on the eight forty five. It's most likely two and a half hours to the ferry terminal, so we'd need to leave Forks by five forty five at the latest."

"Quarter to six on a Saturday morning?" Jess was horrified. "I think you know what you can do with that! Is there such a thing as a quarter to six on a Saturday morning?"

"Yeah."

"Do you ever see it?"

I laughed. "No. Ok, bad idea."

"We'll have to stick with what we can find in Port Angeles. We'll get something from Seattle for next time."

A week later, in the dressing room of The Shed, her outfit was the least of her worries. Jess was in pieces and this amazing, confident girl who I adored, was having real trouble keeping it together. She ran to the bathroom several times and brought up the water she was trying to keep herself hydrated with. Ricky couldn't keep still; he was bouncing his leg up and down as he sat. Zak was pacing the room and Dan was illustrating our band name onto a wall, where every other band who'd performed there had written their names too. I was surprised they hadn't drawn more confidence from our sound check, which had gone brilliantly. Zak had been really pleased with how we were sounding. I sat quietly, looking at each of my band mates in turn. Their increased heart rates and perspiration meant that there was an unfortunate part of me taking an interest in them. I tried to tune that out.

The clock on the wall moved with glacial slowness around to seven fifty, the time when we would be called to the stage. I closed my eyes to focus on the performance ahead. There was no chance I'd forget the lyrics and I knew I would sing each note pitch-perfectly, that wasn't an issue. I was deciding whether or not to let a little of my true self shine through. In my natural state I could be very compelling, as the host at La Bella Italia had already discovered. If I let myself out completely, it wouldn't matter if we stood there and played _Clementine,_ they'd love us. But that would be cheating and not fair on the musical abilities of my friends. However, a little wouldn't hurt, surely?

Finally, we got our call and I put an arm around Jess and guided her to the stage. I wished there was a way to get through to her that she was good, she could do this and I had complete faith in her. As we walked, Zak started to psyche himself up, appearing to be walking out onto the stage at Madison Square Garden, not The Shed. I suppose to get to Madison Square Garden in New York; you'd first have to start at The Shed in Port Angeles. It gave me an idea though, Jess needed a talking to. Arriving in the wings of the small stage I guided her into a corner and stood in front of her, so the others couldn't see my face.

"Jess?" She didn't respond. "Jess?" I said louder. When she met my eyes I looked back at her through the eyes of a vampire. Hers flew open, blinking against a light that wasn't there. Her lips parted as the shock of my appearance registered on her. I used a low, persuasive tone. "We're going to go out there and we're gonna rock, _you're_ gonna rock. You can do this Jess, you're so talented. Come on, let's show Port Angeles what good music is." I fixed my eyes on her once more and then hugged her. When I returned to face her, all trace of my vampire side was locked firmly away. I was Ness again, but thankfully, Jess was herself.

"Yeah!" she hissed. "Let's do this!" She balled her fist and punched her right hand into the palm of her left. That wasn't the smartest thing for a keyboard player to do right before they went on stage; but it seemed to work. It was Jess at my side, not the walking zombie I'd guided from the dressing room.

At the stroke of eight we went on. Zak led the way, followed by Ricky, me, Dan and Jess. There was applause and whoops, so we had some supporters in the crowd and we hadn't even played a note. Our usual rehearsal crowd were all here; I could see Chrissy and she only had eyes for Ricky. I scanned the crowd briefly for Charlie, but I couldn't see him; I'd catch him later. I wondered if that music journalist Jess had met before was in the crowd? I hoped he was and I hoped he liked what he was about to hear.

I turned to face Ricky waiting for the cue. He smiled and pursed his lips to air kiss me. I returned the kiss. He lifted his sticks to indicate he was ready. Four beats from him and we were in. We started with a cover; a song by Blondie that I'd discovered on a CD Dan had lent me and just fallen in love with. It was called _Dreaming_. As I sang my first few lines I relaxed a little. We were sounding good, just like we did at the sound check and that had been great. I looked at the crowd and picked out some familiar faces from school, but still no Charlie. Midway through the first song and Chrissy was already dancing. That made me smile and I decided to experiment and let a little of the real me out.

It was a good job I could keep my emotions in check, because I could so easily have stopped singing and laughed. It was as if I'd run an electric current through everyone, and like Frankenstein's monster, I brought them alive! If just a little of me did that, then a little was enough, we didn't want a riot on our hands. From _Dreaming_, we moved on to our two self-penned songs. As we played, I could see people nodding their heads and those small shoulder movements that indicated that even if they couldn't move their feet, inside they were dancing. We finished with another cover and this one was Zak's choice. He'd picked out _Even Flow_ by Pearl Jam, his personal favourite and one which allowed Dan to shine as a guitarist. Then it was all suddenly over! There were whoops and applause as we left the stage. I looked back, trying one more time to find Charlie. I couldn't see him anywhere. I did however catch sight of a tall, blonde-haired man in round-framed metal glasses stood at the back of the room. He was clapping and there was a small smile on his face. I looked at him harder and thought that I recognised him. Then I laughed to myself. Of course! From the DVD; he really _did _look incredibly like Alric, it was uncanny. Maybe this would wean Jess off fictional vampires and onto real-life guys; although he looked a bit older than us, perhaps early to mid twenties. Still, slightly old was better than slightly dead.

When I got clear of the stage, Jess was waiting, shaking with relief and holding her arms out to hug me. She clasped me tightly and rocked me from side to side, laughing. I pulled back and looked at her.

"Jess Taylor, you rocked girl!"

"I know!" She screamed. I laughed, her confidence was back. "That was…" She flailed for the words. "Completely and utterly incredible! What a rush! Woohoo!" She punched the air. I didn't think I'd need to deploy any further underhand tactics to get her out on stage again. My job was done here.

I looked around for Ricky and he was instantly by my side, kissing me and putting his arms around me.

"Happy?" I enquired.

He nodded. "Completely. That was a blast. I wanna do it again." But there wasn't an opportunity for that; not this time. Our equipment was already being dismantled and the stagehands were setting up for the next band. We walked back to the dressing room triumphant!

Dan ran ahead and when we arrived he was pouring a bottle of champagne into five clear plastic glasses. We were all wildly underage for drinking, but that fact appeared to have escaped him. He divided it all out and handed one to each of us.

"A toast, to us, for being totally awesome."

"Being totally awesome!" We all chorused, and drank the champagne down in one. Having an illicit celebration in honour of things going right? I'd add that to my list of good things about being human.

In the end, Charlie hadn't made it to our debut. A fatal motorcycle crash on the highway south of Forks had claimed his evening as he dealt with the aftermath. There was a message from him when I checked my phone later, he was really sorry he couldn't get there. I was too and I hoped there would be another opportunity for him to see me.

Later that night, I surfaced as he arrived home. I heard his heavy, tired footsteps come up the stairs and him open my bedroom door to check that I was where I was supposed to be. I feigned sleep and he closed the door again. I heard the click of the bathroom light and I pulled the quilt tighter around myself, drifting off to sleep again, happy in my dreams of imminent rock stardom.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five****: Party Animal**

Charlie stood in the hallway and watched as I made my way precariously down the stairs. Four inch heels were not something I was accustomed to and Aunt Rosalie's shoes were a fraction too big, which gave a greater need for caution. I reached the bottom and stood there, feeling a little self-conscious. I was hoping to sneak out unnoticed, like that was ever going to happen if I was using the door. I should have climbed out the window.

"You're wearing that?" He asked.

"Uh huh. This is what vampires wear."

"Really?" Charlie raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"Yeah," I grinned. "I raided Aunt Rosalie's closet."

I was taking Jess's instructions to 'wear something a vampire would wear' quite literally. The clothes my Mom had left behind were not the sort of thing I was after. Alice was much smaller than I was and none of her clothes would fit. But Rosalie's would, if I wore them with stilettos.

Rifling through the clothes had been fascinating and it had taken me an entire afternoon to select something appropriate. Although, 'appropriate for a vampire-themed party' and 'appropriate to be seen in by your Grampa', were two different things.

Charlie had found the idea of a vampire at a vampire-themed Halloween party, very funny and had spent the week randomly laughing whenever he thought about it. He shook his head again now, snickering.

"Go on, I'll see you later. Be careful."

"I will." I shook out the cape from my arm and twirled it around myself.

"Oh my, there's a cape too? Haha! Oh, I gotta get a picture!"

"No! No pictures!" I protested. This was bad enough without it being preserved for posterity. "I will see you later."

"Ok, have a good time now."

"I will!" I kissed him lightly and headed out the door. I got in my car, kicked off the shoes so I could drive and drove the few blocks down to Jess and Dan's house. Before I'd even got anywhere near it, I could hear, from the music, that the party was in full swing.

I'd chosen a black suede boned corset and some black wet-look pants. The corset was invisible under a black wool wrap, which was probably why Charlie had allowed me to leave the house in the first place. Had he then seen me put the cape and the wrap into the trunk of my car, he'd have probably not been laughing. Jess's other instruction was that whatever I wore, it had to be sexy. I thought this fitted the bill. I'd also borrowed some of Jess's make up and my eyes were thickly ringed with black kohl, in the same way hers would be. I'd finished the look with lashings of red lipstick and red nail polish.

I sashayed up the path and into the wall of sound that was the Taylor's house. I stood in the hallway and there was a shriek to my right.

"Ness!" Jess staggered over, she too was in heels but that wasn't why she was staggering. Her eyes I remembered from the night at the cliff-top with Leah. Jess was drunk. She cast her eyes over me. "Woohoo! Wait 'til Ricky gets a load of you! I might seriously fancy you myself. Here, get that down your neck." She handed me a glass of clear liquid and I lowered my nose to it. Vodka. I looked at her and then around at other people; they were all drinking. Jess had an inane grin on her face. "We've declared that tonight, this house is once again in Britain." She pointed to a union flag hung over the mantelpiece. "And as it's a birthday party, we'll be having what there's a lot of at birthday parties in Britain. Booze!" She raised her glass at me.

I looked at mine not really wanting to drink it, having seen what it had done to Leah. "Go on! It'll make you feel more relaxed." I'd just have a little; I'd had no ill effects after the champagne last night. I sipped it. It tasted of very little. "Come on! I've got something to show you." Jess grabbed my hand and pulled me back into the living room where Dan was hunched over a laptop, sequencing music. She thrust a piece of paper at me. "Read that!" She shouted over the music. I took it from her. It was an online review that she'd printed off, of us! I read it, a feeling of elation spread thought me and I read it again just to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Whoever had written this really liked us. They called us an 'exciting new talent' and said that 'the original songs showed great potential for the future.' Of me they said I was 'spellbinding,' adding that they'd rarely seen 'a new band make such an impressive debut.' I looked up at Jess, a silly grin now on my face too.

"They liked us!"

"_Randall_ liked us." She corrected.

"Randall wrote that?"

"Randall wrote that! I've already emailed him back to say thanks for the great review. He replied and he's given me his contact details! Squee!"

"Squee?" I laughed.

"Yeah, you know?" She emitted a high-pitched noise which did indeed sound like a squee." I guessed receiving his contact details was more exciting to her than the review. I smiled; around Jess I just couldn't help it, she made me laugh and I loved her for it.

"Have the others seen it?

"Yeah." Jess looked around. "Zak's made up, says it couldn't be better." She grabbed a bottle from the coffee table and tried to pour more neat vodka into my glass.

"No!" I yanked my glass away and the Vodka spilled onto the floor.

"Oops! Better get a cloth." She staggered away into the kitchen and while she was out of sight, I poured some of the vodka back into the bottle. I picked up Randall's review again and read it, smiling at the generous praise he'd given us. I must say thank you to him too.

Jess came back and fell to her knees to wipe the floor. She wasn't dressed all that differently to how she came to school, although her top was a far lower cut. Sadie came into the room and poured a measure of vodka into her glass, noticing Dan in the corner. I smiled as she went over and pleased that she went and spoke to him. Sadie was lovely, but so painfully shy.

Jess mopped up the spilt liquid. "I saw Ricky on the stairs as I went past. I think he's keeping an eye out for you arriving." I should go and see him. I took another tiny sip of the vodka, it wasn't too bad. I took another and headed out into the hall.

Tonight Ricky would get a little of the real me. It seemed wrong to come to a vampire themed party not let a little vampire out of the box. I relaxed and released, feeling an uncharacteristic edginess. I'd missed my Friday night 'dinner date' with Jake because of the gig, but that wasn't a problem. I wasn't a danger to anyone, I wasn't particularly thirsty; I could go two weeks between hunts if needs be. But whatever it was, I was feeling my vampire nature more acutely tonight.

Ricky was on the stairs, sat between Zak and another friend, Chris. He spied me and I saw a familiar startle appear on his face. I walked over to the bottom of the stairs and he was down like a shot.

"Hi," he said, snaking an arm around my waist and kissing me. "I like what I see." He pulled my hair away from my neck and ran a series of small kisses down it to my bare shoulder. He stood up and looked into my eyes. I saw them blink, as if, like Jess last night, his eyes were reacting to bright lights. He ran his hands up and down the suede of the corset. "You look very sexy." I smiled coyly.

"You too." I replied. He was wearing black pants, a crimson shirt and his dark hair was slicked back with something, making it look black. Everyone was wearing a variation of black and bright reds, fuchsias and violets. It was a very stylish party.

The colours of our clothes were matched by the hangings that draped from every surface of the house. Black and pink, or black and violet banners hung from the walls. Lengths of black feather boa had been wound through the dowels of the staircase and around each dowel was a small silver glitter ball that looked like it had come from the Christmas decoration box. Plastic bats and spiders hung from the ceiling and twinkle lights were draped around mirrors and picture frames. In the dining room, the large table was dressed with a black satin cloth and groaned under a banquet of food that some were already helping themselves to.

Ricky took my hand and we moved through the downstairs rooms, looking for somewhere to sit. We were out of luck and spent our time circulating. He got more drinks and I sipped as little of it as I could. The music was loud, the house was packed and everyone was getting steadily drunk. I lost sight of Jess. I saw Davey, someone I sat close to in Spanish, wandering around with a video camera. We found a corner spot to stand in and Ricky picked up the pendant around my neck, weighing it in his hand.

"That's heavy." He said. "Is it solid gold?" I shook my head. He let it go and ran his index finger down between my breasts to the start of the corset. I tensed up and stopped breathing momentarily. He was far more practiced at things I had no experience of. We were in public, nothing untoward was going to happen here, but he had his back to the world and in what little privacy that afforded us, he was making the most of the opportunity.

I took a larger sip of vodka and tried to relax a little. I copied him, awkwardly tracing the V of his open shirt. I felt odd and very conscious of where his hands were. Jess stumbled by and seeing us, she offered more vodka, splashing another shot into our glasses. I sipped; Ricky finished his in one go. "Come on Ness," he urged. "Down in one." It wasn't a large amount so I drank the mouthful. He took the glass from me and placed it on a windowsill nearby. "I just can't get enough of how you look tonight. But…" He pulled out a handkerchief and wiped away my red lipstick. "That's better, I wanna kiss you." He did and I was getting good at it now. I'd had lots of practice - I could even breathe on occasions.

Time, Ricky and couple more shots of vodka found me nicely relaxed and _really_ enjoying the party. Jess and I had sung karaoke, the coffee table had been pushed out of the way and the living room was a dance floor. Jess and I twirled about in uninhibited abandon. Now I realised where the courage Sadie had got to speak to Dan had come from. My usual quiet self was history. I spoke to everyone, I danced with everyone and I really liked the vodka! Everything was funny and Jess and I hooted with laughter at the slightest little thing. As she got even more drunk, her accent became more pronounced and I wondered when I should start asking for subtitles. A lot of what she said was in colloquialisms that I didn't understand. They sounded funny though, so I laughed all the more.

Ricky found me again later. Finding another corner and free of my inhibitions this time, I let my hands explore his body every bit as much as he was exploring mine.

He kissed down my neck, circling around the base of my throat and up the other side. I liked that, it seemed like a nice thing to do. I decided to do the same. As my kisses descended his neck, the scent of his cologne was overtaken by the scent of his blood. He smelt mossy to me. Each human's scent was unique and this was Ricky. My lips could feel the pulse of his jugular as they pressed lightly to the surface of his skin. It was thrilling, it was dangerous and this was what I called sexy. A little smile played on my lips as I descended lower, pulling open his shirt to kiss his shoulder. I moved around the base of his throat. I was so relaxed; both amused and impressed at my proximity to his blood and my restraint in not taking it. I was on a glorious knife edge, even beyond the thrill I'd gotten on the top of the cliff.

As I continued to kiss him, I upped my game a little, circling him around so that his back was now to the wall. I could kiss him better at this angle, exert a little more pressure. I ran my fingers through his hair and started to climb my kisses back up his neck.

I focussed on the scent of his blood, focussed a little too long and found myself suddenly off the knife edge and rushing headlong into an overwhelming desire for it. My body responded in ways I hadn't asked it to as hardwired instincts took over. I kissed him harder, smelling his blood, hearing his blood, feeling the pulse of it and wanting it so very much to assuage the burning thirst in me that suddenly risen up inside. My right hand cupped his jaw and pushed it upwards stretching out his neck. My heartbeat quickened and every facet of my vampire nature burst out of containment. I was hunting! I had my prey and I was savouring what would shortly be mine.

There was deafening noise behind me, but I tuned that out, focussing entirely on Ricky's skin, placing lingering kisses over his jugular, inhaling the bouquet of the wine beneath his skin. My right hand kept his neck locked in place while my left hand slid into position behind his head to keep him still while I drained him. So soon, his blood would be mine; so soon! I hadn't had human blood in so long and the waiting was delicious agony!

I scraped my teeth lightly down his neck, puckering the skin fractionally and allowing miniscule drops of blood into my mouth. I gasped with delight as it kicked me into another dimension beyond reason. Animal blood may keep us fed, but human blood fulfilled a desire I had not realised was there. I could barely hold on and I felt Ricky begin to struggle beneath my hands as he realised that all was not right. I tightened my grip, locked him into position and opened my mouth to sink my teeth, like a warm knife through butter, into the skin of his neck.

Someone was pulling at my shoulders roughly, insistently and there was angry shouting. Someone wanted my prey! Someone was trying to pull me away from it. No! This was _mine_! I whipped my head angrily around, curled back the lips from my teeth and unleashed a fierce snarl in the assailant's direction, warning them off. They sprang back.

Recognition. I knew my assailant. This person would not steal my prey. They did not hunt. I tried to clear the instinct out of my head and it took an unexpected forever to gain some clarity. When I did, I found myself staring into the terrified face of Charlie.

"Let go." He said, voice wavering. I dropped my hands instantly from Ricky's neck. I expected sanity to return but it didn't. The piercing senses of hunting were replaced by fuzzy inebriation. I started to sway, not able to retain my balance. I was drunk. I looked back at Charlie, reality suddenly crashing in. What had I so very nearly done? He pointed in the direction of the door. "Out!" His eyes were still wide, fearful. I looked at Ricky, he was rubbing his neck. My hand reached for him, I needed to apologise. "Not with him!" Came the snapped command and Charlie gestured to the door again. Looking around me, I saw that the party was over, the Police were here.

I went outside. As the fresh air hit me, so did the vodka. "Keep walking!" Came the angry voice from behind and I staggered over to a tree on the right hand side of the house. It would give me something to lean against and was a little removed from other people milling about on the grass in various states of intoxication. Growling at your own Grampa and preparing your boyfriend as your next meal in public? Well done Ness! I could only pray that everyone was too drunk to notice what I'd been doing. Ricky might be difficult to explain it to, though.

I reached the tree and turned around. The fear had gone from Charlie's face and had been replaced by anger. Yes, I was toast and I completely deserved it. I'd been monumentally stupid.

"I'm so sorry!" I started.

"What the _hell_ was that?" He hissed. "I was seconds away from pulling a gun on you; have you any idea how that made me _feel_? I didn't know what to do!"

"I'm sorry!" I overbalanced, took an involuntary step back and my right heel sank deeply into the soft grass.

"Have you been drinking?" This was no time for lies. I nodded shamefully.

"Oh Ness!" His shoulder's slumped. "You are seventeen! Don't tell me you are ignorant of the law in this country?" I shook my head.

"Why are you here?" As soon as the question was out of my mouth, I realised it was a dumb one.

"We got a call. Music that loud tends to annoy the neighbours. I'm only glad we arrived when we did or I would be investigating a homicide right now, not an out of control student party." Charlie fixed me with a glare. "Did you know what you were doing?"

"My other side got in control." I admitted weakly. The condemnation started in my head. 'You stupid girl!' I shouted at myself.

Charlie leaned in towards me. "I was assured by _everyone_ that you could…" Charlie stopped to choose his words carefully and dropped his voice even lower. "Control yourself. If you can't, you really shouldn't be here."

"I can!" I wailed, tears bursting out and rolling down my cheeks. Grampa did not comfort me; Charlie Swan, the Forks Chief of Police maintained a professional distance.

"I see it all the time. Kids get drunk and lose their inhibitions. But for you to lose yours Ness, that's a very dangerous thing." I nodded in agreement. "Did they warn you not to drink alcohol?" I shook my head. Alcohol had never been mentioned. I guess being highly intelligent, law-abiding people it would never have crossed their minds to think that I'd have so easily broken the law. They'd taught me well and I'd know from my homeschooling the effect alcohol had on humans; so, logically, I wouldn't want any part of that. They had not factored in peer-pressure and my casual disregard for the safety of friends. I was struck by the horror of it.

If I had drained Ricky would I have stopped there? Would I have gone on a killing spree, turning Jess and Dan's vampire-themed party into a vampire's buffet? The awfulness of it overwhelmed me and I slumped to the grass.

"Oh my..." I didn't get anything else out, the distress consumed me and I curled up into a ball and bawled. Charlie bent down.

"Come on, let's get you home." He said, more kindly now. He put a hand out to help me up and I roughly wiped the tears from my eyes. Charlie reached into a pocket and pulled out a clean handkerchief. "Here you go."

"Thanks." I said through sobs.

We made our way over to the Police Cruiser and I got in, almost falling into the passenger seat. I'd have to come and get my car tomorrow. There were two other Police vehicles parked in the street - the entire Forks Police were here – all three of them. I guess they would deal with it while Charlie took me home.

I thought I would die. The mental pain at what I had done was now mirrored in the utter misery of the early hours of the morning. I was kneeling on the bathroom floor, chin resting on the toilet seat; waiting for the next wave of sickness to hit me. I would accept my punishment though; this was my own stupid fault. But being ill was the least of my worries and I winced, as recollections of what had happened went through my head. I reproached myself constantly.

'Stupid girl!' I wailed, over and over again

Everything seemed to hurt; my head, my stomach and a myriad of other places throughout my body. I didn't usually hurt anywhere, so alcohol was having a more human affect on me than I could have guessed. There was a name for this; a hangover. I heaved again and the water I was trying to keep down came back up.

I must have fallen asleep. The next thing I was aware of was of being lifted off the floor. I tried to come round a bit, but I was still woozy. Not Grampa, this was not the smell of Grampa. I searched my brain to put the scent to the name. Jake, the smell of Jake. The movement made my head swim and I whimpered. I felt the soft mattress beneath and the feel of the quilt as it was placed over me. A hand repeatedly stroked my hair and under Jake's soothing ministrations, I drifted back off to sleep.

When I awoke later, it was to rain lashing against my window. I felt a little better but thirsty, for water. Someone had thoughtfully left an empty glass and a pitcher of it beside my bed. I poured some and sipped, it was good. It was daylight outside, but the rain made it dark and I angled my clock around to see the time. Twelve twenty-five. I had no clue how long I'd been asleep. There was still a dull ache in my head but my stomach felt better. It growled and I raised myself gingerly off the mattress to go downstairs in search of something light to eat.

The house was quiet. I went into the kitchen and put bread in the toaster, pulling out a jar of peanut butter from the cupboard above. From the window I saw the cruiser pull up and Charlie hurry from it to the house. He burst through the door and even in that short time he as out in it he'd got soaked.

"You're up then?" He said, shaking out his jacket and hanging it up. I nodded. I felt deeply ashamed of myself and I didn't know quite what to apologise for first. "I've come from the Taylor's house. It's pretty wrecked." My shoulders slumped. "Your friends were up though. Jess looked rough, Dan looked better; he was helping to clean up." The toast popped and I spread the hot bread with the peanut butter and took a bite.

"Do you know how serious last night was? For the Taylor's I mean? Do you know it's the kind of thing that can mean work permits get revoked and they could be asked to leave the country?" I shook my head and hung it even lower. I had no idea it could be that serious. "I don't exactly know what your friends were doing last night; and having spoken to Mr and Mrs Taylor, neither did they. Looks like things got seriously out of hand, though." I said nothing. What could I say? I took another bite of the toast and chewed slowly.

"Ness, this puts me in a difficult position. I can't ignore what when on, but neither do I want to see Brian Taylor lose his job and be deported because of something stupid his kids did. The Taylors had no idea we viewed under-aged drinking so seriously here. They were shocked. I'm sorry to say Mrs Taylor was upset when I left."

"What are you going to do?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. I'm gonna have to think about this one. As for you and… what happened…"

I closed my eyes "I'm sorry."

"You will promise me that you will _never_ drink alcohol again while you are in this house."

I nodded readily. "I promise." I could see that alcohol, humans and an uncontrollable vampire hybrid was not a good combination.

"You scared me last night." I opened my mouth to apologise again, but he stopped me. "Don't say anything; just listen." He walked over to the kitchen table and sat down, gesturing to the chair beside him. "Sit down." I did.

"In the time that I've known what your family are, I have only ever seen them functioning just as I would. Bella, your Mom, I know she's a vampire. She looks different, she feels different, her voice is different, but I have never once felt in any danger from her. Your Dad, when I guessed what you were and confronted him about it, has always insisted that the family can control themselves. None of them have ever given me cause to fear for my own life the way I did last night. Ness, you were like an animal, it didn't look like you. I guess I have gotten blasé over the years because I came to see you all pretty much as regular people. Last night, I saw the reality of it and that was shocking. Why did you snarl at me?"

There was no use in trying to make it sound any better. "I was warning you off. I thought you were trying to steal Ricky from me."

"Warning me off?"

This was hard. "I thought you were trying to steal my prey from me. It was a self-preservation instinct to protect what was mine."

"Steal your prey? No, I was trying to pull you off him but I couldn't move you. I even had to call Jake this morning just to get you up off the bathroom floor." So that had explained Jake's presence here. I was much heavier than girls my own age and build.

"I guess what I'm saying here is that I don't ever want to see that again. Your Dad says that you can control yourself and I believe you can, I've seen you do it right from being a baby. You _have_ to control yourself Ness; I won't stand by and let people get hurt, or worse, if you can't. Now you give me your word that it won't ever happen again and we'll say no more about it. Do I have your word?"

"Yes."

"Ok. You should have a shower and get dressed, now. It'll make you feel better." I nodded my head. "You also need to call Jake and reschedule what you were supposed to be doing Friday night. That must not slip either. I don't want you looking at your classmates as lunch."

"I'll call him."

I finished up my toast and Charlie fixed himself some lunch. I ate slowly and got up to put my plate in the dishwasher. I kept my eyes on the floor, contrite, humbled and very glad that I had not been put on the next plane back to my parents. Charlie put his plate down on the table and I glanced up at him as he sat down. His eyes met mine and they must have seen the sadness in them as he stood up again immediately.

"Come here." He opened his arms and folded them around me. I wrapped my own around his soft waist. He rocked me side to side very gently and we stayed like that for about a minute before he loosened his arms and sat back down, "Alright, now go and get dressed." I trooped sadly back upstairs and stood under the hot shower, trying to wash away the memories of last night.

The rain was relentless during the afternoon and as my head gradually cleared, I settled into my books and attempted to study. Jess texted mid-afternoon to say that she was grounded, for probably the next millennium and that she felt 'pretty rank.' She said she'd call later on; she had her share of the clearing up to do first.

I called Jake, but he didn't pick up but he'd recognise my number and call me back. With some food inside me I felt better and I started to feel normal again. Having done some study, I tidied up a little, hanging Aunt Rose's clothes back in their bags to return to the house. Now I knew where a ready source of stuff was, I'd have no trouble choosing stage outfits. My phone rang.

"Hello!" I said cheerily, expecting Jess or Jake.

"What the _hell_ were you doing last night!" I startled at the screaming voice, nearly dropping the phone. "What kind of imbecile are you? Were you _trying_ to expose us, because you've done a pretty fine job of it!"

"What?" How did Alice know?

"What? You say to me '_what_? Oh my mistake, so that isn't you on YouTube? Do you have a clone there?"

"YouTube?"

"For the benefit of the pathologically stupid; I'm talking about _you_, at a _party_, last _night_, with a _human_, seconds away from biting him. Does that clue you in Renesmee!" My shoulders slumped, she did know. "You didn't think to tell us that there was footage of you_ hunting_ on YouTube?" She was incandescently angry.

"I didn't know." It sounded so lame.

"You didn't know?" She snapped. "Well you do now. And do you know how I know?"

"No."

"The Volturi."

"What?" I stood up quickly and my chair toppled backwards, clattering to the floor. I was instantly on edge, my heart rate accelerated. The mere mention of them made me feel sick all over again.

"They've seen your video" she said slowly and carefully. "And they're coming to talk to you about it."

"No!" I wailed.

"Of all the stupid-ass things you could have done, you go and do this. What were you thinking!" She yelled. "Were you thinking at _all_?" Great big sobs tore through my chest. Forget Charlie, forget the Police and forget any legal ramifications from the drinking party; the Volturi were the vampire world's Police and I had broken the prime directive: We were to keep our existence a secret.

I spoke through sobs. "How did they find it?"

"It's tagged as a vampire party getting busted by the Police in Forks. It came through on Google Alerts. You don't seriously think they'd not be interested in something like that, do you?" Her words were layered with sarcasm. My family had history with the Volturi; _I_ had history with the Volturi, just for existing. When I was only three months old, the entire Volturi; the family, the guard and their supporters had descended on us to decide whether or not I should continue to exist. There was fear I was one of the immortal children – wild, unteachable vampires - who had the capacity to wipe out entire communities in a single night. Alice had gone to Brazil with Jasper and located other hybrids, bringing one who could vouch for my future development, back.

My family, or more correctly, my Dad had successfully convinced the Volturi that I was not a danger to the vampire way of life and should be allowed to live. Six years later, I'd managed to undo all that and demonstrate that their belief in me was misplaced. I had exposed the secret of our existence. For that, the penalty could be death.

"And they're on their way?" I asked, voice cracking.

"Yes." She said, more softly now. "The decision to investigate was what alerted me to it." My Aunt could see the future; she could see the decisions that affected the lives of our family, but because I was a hybrid she couldn't see me. I straddled two worlds, neither one or the other and she couldn't get a fix on me. "Obviously I couldn't see you, but I could see the command decisions and them affecting something I couldn't see in Forks. They will be with you tomorrow afternoon. We'll have to get Carlisle down there; you can't do this on your own."

"Do Mom and Dad know?"

"Jasper is talking to them right now. Carlisle will be there, don't worry."

"Thank you." I sobbed.

"Although, I _would _worry about what Rose is going to do when she finds out that you raided her closet. But; first things first."

"I'm sorry Alice."

"I know you are, but you messed up Nessie. You can't break the rules you know that, it's vampire 101.

"I can't even begin to understand what possessed you to do that. You know better, you're hunting once a week, which should be enough to control yourself." Now was not the time to confess that I'd been drunk. "You know how serious this is, don't you?" I nodded and then remembered that she couldn't see me.

"Yes."

"Jasper's off the phone now, I'll clear the line. I'm sure your parents are going to want to speak to you. I'll call Carlisle and he will see you tomorrow. I'm so sorry Nessie." Alice paused. "Bye sweetheart."

"Bye." I said and the phone disconnected. I stood there, unmoving. Silent sobs wracked my chest.

Monday, at school, was a living hell. In the space of twenty four hours I'd gone from average Joe, fitting in and barely making a ripple, to being a meteorite strike of a news event. Everybody knew who I was and everybody had seen the video; except me. I couldn't bring myself to watch it. I couldn't even bring myself to go to the website.

Ricky met me at the car that morning. He had a graze on his neck where my teeth had nicked his skin. He was lucky that I was not venomous. If I'd been a male hybrid, he'd currently be writhing in agony through his three day conversion process to become a vampire.

I hadn't given much thought to Ricky and how he would react to what had happened, being somewhat more concerned with my impending destruction. Had I done, I would not have envisaged what I was met with when I stepped out of the car. There was a look in his eye I did not recognise, there was intensity to his kisses that had not previously been there and there was a firmness in his hold as we walked into school. It wasn't until after he'd left for his class that I could put a name to it and my shoulders slumped as I did so. He was attracted to the vampire side of me.

Today was bad on so many levels.

There was something however to be thankful for and Jess spelt it out at lunchtime. She couldn't believe why I wasn't acting like I owned the place. My hunting of Ricky had been completely and utterly misconstrued. The human world thought I was being sexy. The vampire world thought I was giving a step-by-step demonstration of how to position your victim to get the best fix on his jugular. I was infamous in both worlds and not in a good way.

When she failed to bring a smile to my face, Jess riled against my lack of reaction to my instant stardom. "You have every lad in the palm of your hand, every spotty oik is praying, _begging_ Ricky to dump you. You have power over every single one of them; you should take that out for a spin, see what you can do with it. We need the publicity for the band." I did not react. I did not want to take anything out for a spin; I might not be here this time tomorrow. "Ness?"

"I don't want this." I said quietly.

"Aw Ness, don't worry. Ok, so you got drunk and now you feel a bit of a berk."

"A what?"

"A berk, an idiot." Yes I was an idiot. "At least you didn't end up confessing your love for someone, getting rebuffed and sobbing your heart out in the corner."

"Sadie?" I ventured. Jess nodded.

"I expect she feels a whole lot worse than you do."

"I doubt it." I said in a low voice that I knew Jess could not hear. No one could feel as bad as I did right now.

As always happens, if you're anxious for the end of the school day it never comes, and if you wish it would never come, it ends before you want it to. I dropped Jess home, hugging her tighter than normal. This could be the last time I ever saw her, although I could not say anything about that to her now.

I drove the few blocks home uncharacteristically slowly, incurring a blast on the horn from someone behind me when I turned my car, too slowly for their liking, into the street where we lived. I was expecting to see Carlisle's familiar black Mercedes, but there was no such car parked outside the house. There were no cars, save my own. I got out and walked to the house, unlocking the door and going in. For the moment I was alone and I was glad of that.

It couldn't be long now, if they'd have changed their plans, Alice would have let me know. There were no answer machine messages on the home phone or anything on my cell phone either. Should I call Carlisle? I decided against it, he'd be here soon enough. I trudged up to my room and comforted myself in the familiar routine of emptying my bag, checking my email and trying to get on with homework, not that I was likely to be handing it in. I couldn't settle at anything though and I constantly clock watched.

Just before four o'clock, I heard a car in the street below. I went to the window and saw the top of a black Mercedes as it slowly pulled up outside the house. Carlisle! Relief spread through me and I felt instantly better. I slammed the lid down on my laptop and ran downstairs, noting that to greet him with a smile and a bear hug – what I really wanted to do – would be inappropriate, given the circumstances. I may be immortal and today could last another million years under normal circumstances. But if the Volturi had their way, today could be the end of me. Perhaps I would hug him; it might be my last chance.

I opened the front door and any hint of a smile was instantly wiped from my face. It was not Carlisle who was walking down the path towards me.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six****: Little Black Riding Hood**

Faces set like stone; they said nothing to me as they walked into the house. I closed the door behind them.

"You were expecting Carlisle." I nodded. "No, this is something we should be here for." I should have guessed. My cell phone started ringing upstairs, I didn't move. "Go and answer that." I went upstairs and into my room; the overly-happy ringtone was in wild juxtaposition to my gloom. The display told me that it was Dan calling. I answered.

"Hello?"

"Hiya Ness. Erm… I've got something I want to talk to you about, are you free later on? I was thinking we could meet up at Fredericks and get a coffee?"

"I don't know."

"Things still difficult after Saturday?"

"Yeah."

"Ok. Could I call you later then?"

"Er… yeah."

"'Bout seven?"

"Should be OK." I really didn't know if it would.

"Ok, I'll um… speak to you later then. See ya Ness. Bye!"

"Bye." I said sadly. Dan's phone clicked off. I disconnected the call and put the phone back down on my desk.

I trooped back downstairs and into the living room. The side window had been pushed up to its fullest extent and a stiff breeze was blowing in, chilling the room.

"They will be here shortly."

"Who is coming?" I asked.

"Jane, Demetri and Felix." I put my hand to my mouth and felt a familiar pricking behind my eyes as tears welled. It was as bad as it could possibly be. I knew of their reputations for enforcing the law.

A sudden panic seized me and I gasped out sobs, the tears running freely down my cheeks. "I'm so sorry!" I gulped. I screwed up my eyes in a pointless exercise in hiding. I felt a hand on the back of my head, pulling it down gently onto a shoulder, and another hand on my back, pulling me close in. I wrapped my arms around Momma, buried my face in her hair and howled. My father's voice behind me said 'two minutes.'

As the seconds ticked down to their arrival, I managed to compose myself, wiping my eyes on the back of my hand. The three of us stood in a group facing the open window. I stood in front of Momma, she had her hand around my waist. Dad stood in front of me, his back to us. I was glad; I couldn't bear to look at him. As long as I lived I would never forget the anger etched on his face when I'd opened the door earlier. I'd face the Volturi a thousand times over rather than see that again. But despite the anger, here he was now, standing resolutely in front, protecting us. It wasn't strictly necessary; Mom would protect us from anything Jane might do but what Demetri and Felix were capable of, I didn't entirely know. Perhaps that's what he was guarding against. Or may be he could not bear to look at me, either.

Where my father possessed the ability to read minds, my mother had the ability to keep everyone out of hers – even Dad. She functioned as a shield, her mind could not be read or attacked and she could extend that shielding around other people in the vicinity. She would do that now, protecting the three of us from Jane's power to inflict pain.

"Forty five seconds." Dad's voice was grave. Momma ran her left hand up and down my arm. I was too anxious for it to feel soothing. I should really tell them the truth, it wouldn't be good for them to be at a…

"We have already spoken to Charlie, we know about the alcohol." He did not turn and irritation flared within me. I had forgotten how annoying his mind reading could be. "I don't think you are in a position to be angry with _me_, Renesmee." I exhaled my annoyance instead, but he had a point. "They're here." Momma tucked closer in behind me and angled me further behind Dad. Her left hand was on my hip, the right reached forward to rest on Dad's right hip, hooking her thumb through a belt loop as she did so. The final seconds ticked by and in through the window came three, black-cloaked figures.

They stood across from us; the tiny porcelain doll of a girl was flanked on each side by two large male vampires. I'd seen them before, several years ago now when I was much smaller. They had lost none of their ability to make me feel intimidated, which was precisely their aim.

"Good afternoon Edward, Good afternoon Bella. How nice to see you again."

"Good afternoon Jane." My father replied in his usual smooth tone. No trace of irritation now.

"And Renesmee, my how you've grown; although seemingly, not in sense." Jane's voice was high and sarcastic as she looked at me with derision. She looked younger than I was, although she was a great deal older, by several hundred years. She had short, white-blonde hair and underneath her black cloak she wore a plain black dress, accentuating the paleness of her skin. All three of them had the vivid scarlet eyes that identified them as traditional vampires that had recently fed. "Gentlemen, I can manage this on my own, there is no need for you to stay, I am in no danger here. Although remain close for when I need you." Demetri and Felix retreated through the window, but their departure did not cause a corresponding fall in my level of anxiety. My life was in this small girl's hands and she held in them the full authority of the Volturi.

Jane pulled from her cloak a thin rectangular bag and I realised, to my shock that it was a laptop case. She pulled out a computer, placed it on the coffee table and pulled up the lid. It sprang to life, displaying what I guessed was a picture of the Tuscan landscape around Volterra, where the Volturi made their home. How odd that I should be noting her desktop background at a time like this.

"For the clarity of all concerned, I think we should watch the footage, don't you? I'm sure you have seen it already, but we need to be reminded of the severity of what we are here to discuss." She opened a browser window and clicked on the link in her favourites. "It's quite the YouTube hit, I see." I looked at the counter in the corner and my heart sank. Nearly fifty thousand hits in forty eight hours. Sheesh, as Jess would say.

The video started automatically and I looked at the screen, but not at the moving image on it, instead, I fixed my gaze on the list of other suggested videos that I might like, down the right hand side.

"Watch!" Came the low hissed command from in front of me. "It's the least you can do."

Jane looked at me. "Oh? Haven't you watched yourself back? Well, let me make sure you get a good view." She angled the laptop round a little more.

The footage must have been taken by Davey, although I had not seen him at the time. From the angle he'd been stood in the kitchen doorway slowly panning the camera over the people in the Taylor's hallway. Everyone was incredibly drunk. I could see Jess lurching around the living room in the back of the shot, she was dancing and I bit my lip, trying not to laugh.

As he continued to video, two people moved out of the shot and revealed Ricky and myself in the corner. Davey kept the camera steady on us. As I watched, I switched places with Ricky and place him in the corner. There was a feline quality to the way I moved and as I kissed his neck; my hands were twined in his hair.

To the right of the picture there was a blur of dark blue and loud shouts distorted by the laptop speaker. Into shot came the two other members of the Forks Police Department; Ryan and Todd. People started to rush out to evade capture, but in the corner I was oblivious, my sole focus was Ricky's blood and I saw my hand reach up to stretch out Ricky's neck. A third blue shape filled the shot and moved over to where Ricky and I were. It was Grampa. Although I couldn't clearly hear what he was saying, I could see he was shouting at me, trying to attract my attention. My head lolled back then, and I understood with shame that this was me reacting to the drops of Ricky's blood in my mouth. The remembrance of it started a thirst inside me. I saw my left hand appear behind Ricky's head and him start to struggle. Charlie started pulling at my shoulder then, pulling really hard, I could see the force he was exerting on me, but I wasn't moving. Finally, the message penetrated my senses that I was under threat. I saw my head move in a vampire speed blur, too quick for the camera to pick up, more shame. My snarling at him was obscured by a Police Officer's shoulder; the officer was asking Davey to turn off the camera and the video mercifully ended.

"Mr Cullen," Jane began. "The last time the Volturi had cause to be in this part of the world, you argued in front of many witnesses, that your daughter was no threat to the vampire way of life. You said that she could learn our ways, could control herself and should be allowed to live. Based on what we see here, your argument is plainly in doubt. Her actions have potentially exposed us all and you know from your own experience how we view such matters. I assume she follows your unusual lifestyle choice?"

"She does."

Upstairs, I heard my phone trilling its happy tune again, cutting off as it went to answerphone.

"It looked from that as if she was reverting to type. Can you explain that?"

"No."

"Renesmee? Can you? Have you suddenly developed the desire for what you have been denied by these people?" She fixed me with an unpleasant stare; it made me want to dig in my heels.

"I haven't been denied anything, it's a choice we make." Was she dumb? She should know how we lived; Carlisle and the others had surely been doing it long enough for her to know why they did it. I saw the benefits of what it enabled them to do, didn't she? Or may be there were amusing parallels with the elitist pure-bloods in the Harry Potter books and to her, we were the muggles. Her stare was unwavering and I wished she'd quit looking at me like that, it was like she was trying to bore a hole in me.

"Jane, that is useless, as you well know."

"Oh yes, the talented Mrs Cullen." Jane released me from her stare and walked over to the mantelpiece, looking at the row of photographs there. She pointed to the one of the three of us, Charlie had put it in a frame now and it stood alongside my parent's wedding picture. In both photos Dad had been amusingly photoshopped to have slightly more color than he usually possessed. Mom too, in the one of the three of us. Casual glances at Charlie's mantelpiece would not cause a visitor to the house to question anything. "Such a happy little family." Jane sneered. "I assume your father knows what you are, Bella?"

"He does."

"And what Renesmee is?"

"Yes."

"More contraventions of our rules. Why do the Cullens think they are above such things?" She didn't get it. Family was an advanced concept to a vampire and she looked at us as freaks. She was conveniently forgetting that she was in the minority and it was how most of the rest of the planet preferred to group itself. It was her and her kind that were the freaks. Family was normal, family was good. Unless they were hauling your ass over the coals for something stupid you did on Saturday night.

Jane started talking again, pontificating about things I wasn't interested in, so I mentally zoned out and turned my attention to the computer screen. I read the first comment below the video and snickered. Some person unknown, approving of the general contours of my ass. In Aunt Rose's skin-tight pants, and at this angle, I had to admit, my ass did look good.

My Mom speaking jolted back to the conversation.

"My father is a trustworthy man. He knows both the secret of the Quileute tribe and of what the Cullen family are. He would not divulge either party's existence."

"I do not have much experience with humans so on this occasion we will have to take your word that he won't. But it would appear that your daughter has." Jane's voice grated and my irritation with her started to grow exponentially. "What confidence you both have in the abilities of such a _young_ child, to cope in the human world without your assistance. Perhaps, in light of what she's done, we must call into question your parenting skills?"

Young child? I wasn't a baby! "Yeah, right." I scoffed. "You're blaming them for something I did? What is the use in that?" I'd had enough of her. I stepped out from between my parents to face Jane alone.

"Renesmee!" Came the low warning from Dad. I spun on my heel to face him and wished I hadn't. The look I did not want to see was still on his face. But someone inside me stamped her foot and insisted that I dealt with this.

"Dad, _I_ messed up, she's here to deal with _me_. You and Mom do not have to fight my battles for me. This is _my_ mess,_ I_ will deal with it." I had no clue where this confidence was coming from. But it was such a rush!

"Children, don't you just love them." Jane bounced on her heels, gleeful.

"Oh shut up!" I glowered, stepping over to the laptop and scrolling down so I could read the rest of the comments. There were fifty three and I scanned each one in turn, amused by what I found; although reading these in the vicinity of Dad should make me blush with embarrassment.

"If you're here to accuse me of disclosing the existence of vampires, then why do none of these comments under the video mention that?" I looked at Jane with my own condescending smile and pushed the laptop around to her. "Seems to me that my ass now has its own Facebook fan page." I snickered. It was Jane's turn to look unsure of herself. I pointed at the computer. "Fifty three comments and not one mention of vampires. Perhaps you're jumping to conclusions? Perhaps no one noticed? Perhaps you have an inflated idea that anybody would be interested in your existence? I live with these people; they're having too much fun to give credence to the existence of a bunch of freaks. Don't flatter yourself that they care and don't think yourself as superior to them, they are above you in so many ways." There was a flicker of something on Jane's face and I clung to the hope the comments had provided. My sexiness had been the talking point, not what I was doing to Ricky. I stepped around the coffee table, stood directly in front of her, hands on my hips, refusing to be intimidated by her any longer.

"You would not be so confident Renes…"

"Ness. My name is Ness."

Jane's eyes narrowed. "You would not be so confident if you were not under the protection of your mother."

"So what if I am? It's what families do, protect each other."

"Renesmee, there is no need to be disrespectful." I rolled my eyes at him, he was so predictable.

"Butt out Dad."

"Ness!" Mom hissed.

I waved away her warning, I'd seen Jane's type before, and with her talent neutralised by Mom's shield, we were on equal terms. This was Emilie Peterson all over again and Jane was no more than a bully. I had better things to do than be unjustly accused.

"So, if there's no mass panic in Forks because of a vampire, and let's face it, it's not like they haven't seen one before. Then I think we're done here."

"Not so fast Miss Cullen."

"Somebody is coming." Dad's voice was urgent. I walked over to the window and saw Dan approaching the house. I watched as he strode purposefully down the path and up to the door.

"You will send him away. We are _not_ done here yet." Jane insisted.

"Oh, I think we are." I replied casually as Dan opened the screen door and walked straight in. I bit my lip and tried not to laugh as my parents, out of Dan's eye line, disappeared behind the sofa. Jane, however, stood in full view of him, and unable to depart without him seeing, remained rooted to the spot. She was expecting him to conform, to knock and wait and give her time to leave. Jess and Dan did things differently and at that moment I could have kissed him for completely undermining the annoying vampire. He stood in the hallway, I was so glad to see him. "Hi Dan!"

"Hiya! Ooh, who's this? Little Black Riding Hood?" I sniggered and looked around at Jane; she was motionless, deep unease etched on her porcelain face. "Sorry, but you're a bit late love, the vampire party was Saturday night." Dan thought Jane was dressing up. "Cool contact lenses though. Jess'll want some of them; you'll have to tell me where you got them from." Dan came close up to me. "Are you going to introduce me?" He inclined his head over towards Jane.

"Ah… Yeah." Getting an introduction to a vampire, now wouldn't your sister be jealous of you! "Jane meet Dan, Dan meet Jane." 'She's a vampire and by the way, there are two more hiding behind the sofa'. I added in my head. I snickered at the stupidity of it.

"Pleased to meet you Jane. Any friend of Ness's an' all that." Friend wasn't how I'd describe her, mortal enemy perhaps. I wondered what she made of his northern accent and his gruff demeanour. Dan was a good looking guy until he opened his mouth.

"So, what did you want?" I asked him, jamming my hands in my back pockets. With Dan in the room and Jane now firmly on the back foot, the tension was seeping away.

"Oh yeah; erm." Dan pulled his gaze away from Jane." I phoned, you didn't answer. I can't phone tonight, I've gotta go out now, so I came over."

"Is this the thing you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Yeah. Are you free to go for a coffee? Jane, you're welcome to come too. It's not private."

"Jane was just leaving."

"Yes, I was." There was stiffness in her voice as she tried, and failed to hold on to her dignity.

"Oh, ok. Well, nice to have met you, hope to see you again sometime." 'I hope not', I thought.

"I'll see Jane out; I'll just be a moment. Have a seat." I indicated to the sofa behind which, my parents were hiding. My amusement failed to escape Dan.

"What? What's funny? Are me flies undone?" He looked down at the zip on his jeans.

"No." I laughed. "It's ok. Just something funny from earlier. I'll be back in a second." Jane walked past me and Dan and I followed her out into the hall. Having to use the door was such an undignified exit for a vampire. I did not pass up one last opportunity to stick the knife in. "Would you look at that. There really is a vampire in Forks after all, and my friend has just seen her." I spoke with quiet triumph; my victory over her was complete. I raised my voice and spoke normally again. "Nice to see you again Jane, do drop by if you're ever in the neighbourhood again. Please don't" I added quietly with a hiss. I pulled the door open for her. "It's always good to see _old _friends again. Goodbye."

She walked out of the door and down the path. I shut the door, what she did from thereon was no concern of mine. I skipped back into the living room and pulled down the open window.

"Shall we go and get coffee?" I asked.

"That would be great."

"Ok, I'll just go and get my cell and some money." I quickly retrieved it from my desk and pushed twenty dollars into my back pocket. I made my way back downstairs again and grabbed a coat from a hook. "Ready?"

"Yep." Dan pulled open the door. My phone beeped, I knew who this would be. I checked the message; yes, it was from behind the sofa.

"Do not leave, we need to talk."

I pulled the door shut, locked it and the pair of us strode over to my car. My head was a wild place; I was high on my escape from the Volturi. I texted back my reply.

"Sorry! See you around. Ness x"

I'd had enough of vampires for one day.

We arrived at Fredericks; the place was busy for a Monday evening.

"What d'ya want?" Dan pulled a twenty out of his wallet. "D'ya want a cake? I'm gonna have one of those chocolate cupcakes. D'ya want one?"

"Yeah."

"And coffee?"

"Yeah, I'll have a cappuccino please."

Dan ordered and we took up residence in our usual band night corner.

"So, how long are you grounded for? I think we get parole in about twenty twenty four." I laughed.

"Charlie's been very reasonable about it. One of the perks of him not being my father."

"Lucky you."

"Yeah, lucky me."

Having seen the anger on his face, I could imagine that had I been caught drinking by my Dad, getting parole in thirty twenty four would be overly-optimistic. I winced, suddenly sad. We had always been close and now, away from the intensity of this afternoon, I did not like this feeling that I had angered and upset him. He'd always been there with a smile and an embrace, approving of me and supporting me every step of the way. This disconnect I felt, was widening into a rift. Should I go back and apologise? Perhaps the text message was a stupid idea? No, Dan had to go out later, he'd miss his opportunity to talk about whatever it was he'd brought me here for. I'd text Dad and apologise for being flippant, a small laugh burst through my lips as I remembered that I'd told him to butt out. In front of a member of the Volturi, that wouldn't have gone down well. I pulled out my cell, but there was no service. I wrinkled my nose in annoyance.

"Problem?"

"No service. I was just going to text someone."

"Yeah, it's a bit hit and miss around here at the moment. Look, I… Who was that Jane?"

"What?"

"Sorry, she just popped into my head. Striking girl. Freaky contact lenses though. Is she some relation?"

I shook my head rapidly. "No. An old family friend. She came to see how I was. She's not seen me since my parents died."

"Oh."

"Why d'you ask?" I needed to know if there was something that had started him thinking. If he'd guessed what she was, I might need to deal with him.

"No reason." Our drinks and cakes arrived. Dan took a huge bite of his. He took huge bites of everything I'd noticed. I picked mine apart to make it last. He swallowed. "She was… Pretty."

I didn't mean to spray him with cake crumbs, but I did as I burst out laughing. "You thought Jane was pretty?"

"I know!" He grimaced. "She's way too young." That patently was not the problem, Jane was way older than he'd ever be, but I'd run with that.

"Yeah! Fourteen at the most!" Dan winced.

"Bad idea."

"You think?" I laughed. "Sorry, you have cake in your hair." I reached across and brushed it gently away. I had to change the subject. "So what did you want to talk to me about?"

He opened his bag and pulled out a notepad. "I've been writing songs and I wondered if you'd take a look at them and suggest some improvements. I liked what you did with the others and… these don't seem quite there somehow, but I don't know what it is that's missing, other than I know something is. Will you have a look?"

"Sure." I took the pad and scanned the first set of lyrics.

"Obviously, I don't expect you to do it now; I'll leave them with ya."

"OK." I turned over the pages, scanning what Dan had written. They were good but I could see what he meant about them not being quite 'there', there _was_ something missing. We sat in silence for a few minutes, sipping coffee and eating the cupcakes. I absent-mindedly twirled a strand of my ringlets through the fingers of my left hand. The door chimed frequently as more people came in. "Hmm… yes, I'll have a think and see what I can suggest." Dan raised his hand in greeting to someone. I had my back to the door and couldn't see who it was. "Who's that?"

"Jake Black."

"Oh." Jake frequently came in at the end of the day to get something to take home for dinner.

Dan sighed. "Sadie's been…"

"Annoying?" I ventured.

He smiled. "Yeah.' He exhaled loudly. "Don't know what to do there."

"You should tell her you're not interested. Perhaps going out with someone would help her get the message. Naomi likes you."

"Naomi?" He pulled a face and shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea. Have you heard her laugh?" We both sniggered, I had heard Naomi laugh and it bore a more than passing resemblance to a donkey. A couple of people came to sit down in the booth across from us and I flicked my eyes over to look. All trace of my laughter instantly vanished.

It was Mom and Dad. Jake appeared at my side.

"Hi Dan, Ness."

"Hiya, Jake how're you?" Dan extended his hand, Jake shook it.

"I'm good thanks. You guys recovered from the party? Surprised to see you out, thought you'd be grounded until the end of the year."

"No, end of the millennium mate, well apart from Miss jammy beggar here whose escaped scot free."

"Charlie didn't ground you?" I shook my head and picked at the last of my cupcake. "You're lucky, he used to ground his daughter all the time."

"Well Nessikins here must have him wrapped around her little finger.

"Nessikins?" That was a new one. I laughed. Dan called me some odd stuff at times. Nessquick and Nessundorma were the frequent ones. I was rarely just Ness to him.

"It was a bit dicey at one point on Sunday, but it looks like the Chief's managed to sort it out with Mum and Dad. No parties for the foreseeable future though and I think Jess is now allergic to vodka, which is no bad thing, she was absolutely shit-faced." I giggled at the way he spoke. It was hard not to. "Don't know what _you're_ laughing at, Masen; you were off your head as well, flinging yourself around the living room. I've seen better co-ordinated giraffes." I gave an involuntary snort of laughter and I heard Jake laughing too. "And that's a really crap love bite you've given the Rickster. Don't you know that you need to suck really hard to get a good bruise? Stick with me girl, Dan'll show you how to do it." My laughter faded to a forced smile.

"Are you an expert?" laughed Jake.

"Absolutely mate! I've had no complaints in the snogging department." I laughed again. Dan, like Jess was easy to be with, even if he did have an off the wall line in conversation. He checked his watch. "I'd better go. Got to eat and get changed before I go out.

"I'll come too."

"Ah, Ness? I was hoping you would stay for a few minutes." Jake looked at me pointedly.

"Ok."

"I'll leave these with you then?" Dan indicated to the notepad.

"Yes, I'll take a look at them."

"OK, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yes, bye."

He made his goodbyes and left. I got up and took my coffee across the aisle, sliding in to the booth beside Jake. The backs of the seats were high and it was quite private here. I was sat across from Dad. I couldn't bring myself to look at him, just in case I saw that look again.

"Perhaps this would be easier somewhere more private." He said. Jake, may we use your office?"

"Sure."

I drained my coffee cup and the four of us left the diner and walked across to Jake's workshop; filing in to his small, slightly untidy office. Dad offered Mom one of the chairs and me the other. Jake brought in with him a small step stool which Dad sat on while he himself perched on the bench beside me.

"A hundred and fifteen years old and the first time I get told to butt out, it's by my own daughter." I glanced at his face, relieved to find there was no trace of anger now; he was just how he always looked. A little smile played at the corner of his mouth. "Nessie. You've changed so much, so quickly."

"I hardly recognised you today." Mom said, placing a hand on my arm. "You've got so much more confidence." I knew where it was coming from; I idolised the confident and assured Jess.

"This Jess." There he went, picking about in my head again. "She does not have your life; she does not have the concerns that you have. Taking your behaviour cues from her may not always be in your best interests. Today was… Unwise. You were fortunate."

"Why?" It had turned out OK, what was the problem?

"The Volturi are unpredictable, Jane does not have a sense of humor. They do not always respond to reason and without your mother, Jane would have inflicted pain on you. You were fortunate we could get here in time."

"How did you get here so fast?" I asked and then worked out the answer myself. "You hired a plane?" He nodded. Being able to pilot a plane was one of my father's many skills. "It worked out fine, had they read the comments they wouldn't have needed to haul ass over from Italy in the first place." Dad's eyes narrowed at my language. "I'm just fitting in; this is how they speak here."

"No, it is not. I fear you are being unduly influenced by Jess."

"She wouldn't say 'haul ass', she's English. Jess'd say…" I thought for a second but couldn't locate a suitable English phrase in my head. "She'd say it differently, anyhow."

"I don't want to quash your confidence, confidence is good, but you're still young, you have much to learn and this weekend has been an example of just how much. You put yourself and your friends in a very dangerous situation."

"I know, but I'm fitting in well." I bristled against his assumption that I was still a baby.

"Too well. Why did you get yourself drunk? Why were you drinking at all? It's illegal for you to do so and you had no idea how your physiology would react to it."

I shrugged my shoulders "Everyone else was doing it."

"You are _not_ everyone else!" His voice was suddenly stern.

"Chill Dad. I reacted like everyone else."

"Until you smelt human blood, this is." I wrinkled my nose, yeah, that bit hadn't gone so well. His voice softened. "You have a boyfriend too? And it has been going on for some weeks. You didn't think to mention that to us?" I shook my head. "Why? As a family we've always shared everything. Even Jake didn't know. Why would you deliberately hide things from us?" I shrugged my shoulders again and wondered what it was to Jake anyway. I looked over at Mom; there was worry in her eyes.

"Did you tell Grampa about Dad right away?"

She smiled. "No."

"There you go Dad, It's not just me, Mom did it too. Ricky's harmless and… I…" I struggled for the right words. How do you tactfully say that you didn't want your parents to know?

"You didn't want us to know?"

"Stop doing that! Stop picking stuff out of my head! It's… private!" I was suddenly irritated. I had never before objected to what Dad could do, but now it felt like such an intrusion into my life.

"It isn't something I can turn off!" He snapped. "You're my daughter; I can hear you especially clearly, and from quite a distance."

"Oh great." I huffed.

"Nessie, where is this anger coming from? You have never been an angry person." Mom rubbed my arm.

"I'm not angry!"

Jake snickered. "All evidence to the contrary, Ness."

"Who asked you!" I snapped and stood up. "Look, is there a reason why I'm here? 'Cause if you're gonna roast me for leaving you behind the sofa, then may I point out that _I_ wasn't the one who ran behind it! Dan showed up and Dan came in, it's what Jess and Dan do; it's the way they are!"

"We just wanted to talk to you, can't we do that? I'm curious about Ricky. Can't a Mom ask her daughter about her boyfriend? Mine always used to. Sit down sweetheart." I responded to my Mom's soothing voice and sat back down in the chair. "How did you meet him?"

"He's the drummer in the band."

"And how long have you been together?"

"Six weeks."

Dad stood up. "I'll speak to Jake while you two catch up." Jake and Dad left the room and I wondered why Jake had been in the room at all. These days, he seemed to be part of a life that I had all but forgotten. They walked out into the workshop and went to inspect a car Jake was working on.

Mom claimed my attention again. She smiled warmly. "So what's he like?"

We chatted for a while and under her less confrontational approach, I opened up a little about Ricky, about the band, but mostly I talked about how wonderful Jess was; her amusing obsession with vampires and her very British way of describing things, which made me laugh. It felt good to talk, really talk with Mom again, although I found I couldn't bring up what I wanted to ask her; that would have to keep for another time. Jake, Mom and Dad. They were like a little triangle. Wherever they were, he was. What was the deal with that?

All caught up, we walked back out to the main workshop. Dad and Jake were deep in conversation; the serious expressions on both their faces told me they weren't discussing the football scores. Perhaps there was an issue with the business? Mom and I strolled over to where they were.

"We should probably let Ness get back," she said. "I'm sure Sue will want to serve dinner soon."

"Hardly." I scoffed. "She's never in."

"Oh?" Mom's brow furrowed.

"She's at church, study group or out with friends. I rarely see her these days . Grampa will fix something."

"All the more reason to get home." Chuckled Jake.

"Ness, before we go, may I talk to you, please?" I nodded. "Bella? I'll just be a few minutes." Dad indicated that I should go ahead and he followed as I walked across the workshop and into the back room where we rehearsed. As I went through the door I looked back at Mom and Jake, they were talking in earnest.

Our equipment was set up in the corner.

"This is where you rehearse?" I nodded. "Jake says you sound really good. You enjoy it, I know."

"Yeah, we're waiting to hear if they liked us enough to get a second date at The Shed."

"I hope that comes through." He wasn't here though to talk niceties about the band. He leant against a cabinet, bringing his eye line down to my level. "If I may speak about your head for a few moments, without you biting mine off, please?"

"My head?"

"Ness, I'm concerned about what's going on in there."

"I feel fine."

"No, I don't mean the physical state of it and your anger is, to some degree, explainable. I understand that no teen wants to get pulled up by their parents for their behaviour. I'm… concerned though by how little you have to do with Jake."

"Jake?"

"You were once inseparable and now you hardly spend any time with him. Why is that?"

"Well, you know, I have new friends. He works, I go to school; it's inevitable that we won't spend much time together. I'm busier now than I was. I see him on Friday's though." I hadn't seen him last Friday, but I would fix up something.

"Yes, you must hunt this week, preferably tonight. Would you like to hunt with us?"

"No, I'll fix something up with Jake."

"I'm not convinced you want to and that's what perplexes me. There appears to be little or no place for Jake in your life."

"I told you, I've got new friends, I'm busy."

"Nessie it's not that." He was choosing his words carefully. "I… used to feel a degree of possession in your thoughts toward him, but it's not there anymore. Has something happened?"

"No? What do you mean possession? I don't possess Jake." He looked at me, questioning, perplexed. "I don't see what you're getting at."

"Do you know what imprinting is?"

I shrugged. "Vaguely, Some sort of destiny for the Quileutes? Some mystical force that picks out their life partner for them?"

"That's the basic idea. You… Don't feel anything for Jake?"

I recoiled slightly. "What? You mean feel something in a… romantic way? Er… No! Should I?"

"I was expecting it, yes."

"Huh? Eww!" I looked at him as if he'd lost his mind. He couldn't seriously be thinking this. "He's a… he's a… _friend_, I like him as a friend. I er… don't… He's not my type!"

"You have a type?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Ricky's my type."

"And what type would that be? Just so as I know what type of boys to expect through the door in future."

"Ones that don't turn into wolves or do anything equally… weird."

"So, you're saying that your type is human?"

"Yeah, I like human boys."

"Ok. Glad we've cleared that up."

"You're not expecting me to date Jake are you? This isn't some weird vampire arranged-marriage shit is it?"

His brow furrowed. "Do you have to swear?"

"Sorry, sort of comes naturally these days. Humans do a lot of it."

"I know, it doesn't mean you need to copy it though. No, if you don't feel anything for him, then of course, I wouldn't expect you to date Jake; although that doesn't get you off your Friday nights." He wagged a finger at me, "I expect you to go hunting with him tonight. It's important that you keep yourself balanced."

"Yeah, yeah." He rolled his eyes at me and smiled. It was the smile that made me believe everything was right with the world and seeing it again made me instantly relax.

"You are so like your mother."

I grinned. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

He laughed. "No. Nothing about Bella could be a bad thing. Come here." He opened his arms and I went willingly in for a hug. Whatever had happened the last few days, I was glad of this. That other matter would wait for another time. I rested my chin on his shoulder.

"What other matter?"

"Nothing Dad. Stop picking things out my head."

"Gladly. Planet Ness is a strange place these days." He placed his hands on my upper arms and held me away from him, his face a glorious, wonderful Daddy smile. His eyes suddenly narrowed and the smile became a grin. "Your bottom has its own Facebook fan page?"

"Apparently so." I laughed. "I'll have to check it out."

"Of all the things." He rolled his eyes and I hugged him again as he laughed. "Wait 'til I tell Emmett."

"No!" I shrieked "Please don't tell Emmett, I'll never hear the last of it!"

There were some things that could be worse than the Volturi.

112


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven****: Making Plans for Nessie**

The conversation we'd had in the garage had gone a long way to healing the rift, but as they left and I drove home, having fixed up to meet Jake later; I still could not shake the feeling that I still not feel as connected to them as had done. I couldn't stop thinking about the weird stuff my Dad had said. Me have romantic feelings for Jake? I scoffed. Having romantic feelings for Jake would be so very wrong. It would be the same wrong as having those feelings for a brother, or one of my uncles. He was a family friend, nothing more. Absolutely, there was a time when we had been inseparable, but I had moved on, got friends of my own and… I'd simply grown out of Jake. He should get himself a nice girl and settle down, he was twenty two now, time didn't stand still for him the way it did for us. Why didn't he have a girl, I wondered? In all the time that I'd known him and the other members of his pack, he had been the only one without a girlfriend. I'd never heard one mentioned or his pack member's tease him in the way they did the other guys did about their girls, or Leah about her boyfriends. Jake was a great guy, he'd have no trouble attracting a nice girl. If I mentioned it to Jess I knew what she'd say. It was her stock reaction to any good-looking guy who was inexplicably without a girlfriend.

"I bet you any money, he's gay."

When I arrived home, Grampa was already in the kitchen frying eggs and bacon. It looked like we were fixing dinner for ourselves again. He looked at me quizzically.

"What?"

"I was expecting your hair to be singed or something."

"Huh?"

"I've never seen Edward quite that angry."

"Ah, he's fine."

"Really? He's fine with his daughter getting drunk?"

"No, obviously; but we worked it out."

"Ok. You want some of this?"

I shook my head. "I'm eating with Jake tonight."

Grampa pointed out the window. "Out?" I smiled.

"Yeah." I pulled out a kitchen chair and sat down. "Grampa? Did Mom and Dad ask about Jake today?"

"Yeah, they did. They were surprised that you barely spend any time with him these days. I hadn't thought about that much, but now that they've come to mention it, you don't hang out with him like you did when you were a kid. You were always together. I don't think I'll ever forget the sight of you riding in through the door on his back. Some girls have horses, my granddaughter has a horse-sized wolf." He shuddered and poked at the slices of bacon with a spatula. "It's the strange reality I now live in." He added, under his breath. I really should tell him I could hear it all.

"Did they imply anything?"

"What do you mean?"

"I dunno… Expecting me and Jake to be more than friends?"

He shook his head. "No. Why? Do you wanna be?" He grinned. "Hey, I could put a good word in for you. I know his Dad."

I laughed. "No thanks Gramps I already have Ricky."

"Yeah, that was a surprise to _everyone_. You've got a boyfriend and you forgot to tell us all? It's like your mother all over again, except _you're_ the scary vampire one. I probably should keep clear of Lynda Scott."

He turned back to the skillet and pushed the food around for a minute longer. A vein of curiosity bubbled within me.

"Grampa?"

"Yep."

"What did you think of Dad when you met him?" He turned off the heat and scooped the eggs and bacon on to a plate. He brought it over to the table and sat down.

"He was a good kid. Nice, very polite, very good looking, very… pale." He smiled, wryly. "Kid's the wrong word isn't it for someone who's a hundred and thirteen. He's a good man. I'll admit; I didn't like him at first, but him and Bella… Although there was that business where he… Ach! That was a horrible few months. Jake saved the day on that one though." He tucked into the bacon. He'd spoken about it! He knew! I could ask Grampa about Mom, Dad and Jake.

"What was a horrible few…" The phone rang.

"Get that would you?" He said trying to chew. I got up and answered the phone.

"Hello? Yes, he's right here." I handed Grampa the phone. "It's Ryan for you."

Grampa's shoulder's sagged and he took the phone. "Hello?" He listened, his eyes flicked to me, his countenance dropping further all the time. "Ok, well, I'll just finish up eating and be back in. I'll see you later. Bye." He clicked off the phone and exhaled in sadness.

"Problem?"

He fixed me with a look. "A hiker reported missing two days ago has been found in the woods. His throat has been torn out." He launched into his food again. "I thought the wolves were dealing with this. You don't know anything about this do you?"

"No!" I was hurt by the assumption that I would. "Grampa, you know I don't hunt people."

He put down his knife and fork. "I know. I'm sorry I said that. It's just now, now I know what to look for, I see it all the time in reports coming in from other places. I know vampires pass through here, but Jake assured me that the wolves would deal with them. Looks like this time they failed. Have your parents gone?"

"I think so."

"Pity. I could have done with their help on this." He started back on his food.

That evening, in an effort to help, Jake and I ran silently through the trees to the place to the south of the site where the arc lights were trained. We stopped a little way out and I pulled out my phone and texted Grampa to say that we were close.

"Can you smell anything?" I asked the wolf. "I can't." Jake shook his head. "We should circle around, see which way they went."

Jake and I had hunted and on our return had picked up the scent of the forensic team as they worked at the site where the body had been found. Maybe we could help discover who had attacked him, using methods the Police investigation team did not have. I had picked up nothing that told me another vampire was in the area, although it wasn't usual to come across the scent of one. My phone beeped and Grampa replied that the Doctor was examining the corpse now. I replied that we would circle the area, see if we could pick up anything.

The wolves patrolled the peninsula now that my family were gone. This had been our territory and, being what we called 'vegetarian', we had protected the residents ourselves while we were here; but that was the wolves' job now. Occasionally, however much they patrolled, one eventually got through. They didn't last long though if the wolves got to them; the Quileute wolves had teeth capable of tearing vampire flesh to pieces. Torch the remains and the trespassing vampire was ancient history.

I jogged through the trees in a wide circle of the site, Jake trotting behind me; both of us tasting the air, alert for the tell-tale scent of vampires. It wasn't until we hit a place to the north west of the site that we came across anything of interest. It was not vampire, it was mountain lion and it was a fairly fresh trail, not twelve hours old. Jake registered it too. We carried on, completing the circle but could find no evidence for any vampires having been there.

"What do you think?" The shape beside me phased and where there once was a wolf there was now Jake, a very naked Jake; I was used to that.

"Looks like a straight mountain lion attack."

"Safe to tell Charlie you think?"

"Yeah, I don't think this was a vampire. I've not seen the body, but I guess an animal attack." I nodded, agreeing with Jake's surmise. I texted our findings and a few minutes later the reply came back.

"Yep, Doc says animal. Looks like hiker died of natural causes and animal came to investigate."

I showed Jake the message.

"Good. I'm a little beat to be chasing vampires tonight." He looked at me to find a pleading look on my face. We may not have a vampire to hunt, but there was something else in the area that I wanted. He sighed. "Nessie wants to go play with the mountain lion?" I bounced in eagerness. I didn't get the opportunity for mountain lion too often these days and I wasn't passing up blood that tasted far superior to anything I could get from an herbivore. "You know? I don't think Mr Mountain Lion's gonna like your idea of playing."

"Tough! I want me some cat!" I grinned and sprinted off into the trees at full speed. Behind me, Jake phased back into his wolf form and set off after me.

Being full of blood after going ten days without made me realise how flat I'd been feeling. It was like someone had given me a fresh set of batteries. My mood was up, I felt physically strong and buoyed by my successful escape from the Volturi, there was a new air of confidence about me. Jess noticed it, everyone noticed it, but most especially; Ricky noticed it. He'd noticed other things too and was staking his claim on what was his; making sure that everyone knew that I was with him. In that, he was beginning to rival Dad for the title of _Most Over-Protective Person of the Year_.

Things at least were better with Mom and Dad and on Tuesday night, as I set off for rehearsal, Mom called with the news that Christmas would be in Denali this year, for a celebration. Tanya was getting married. I didn't have time to talk, I was running late; but it seemed that I wasn't the only vampire currently dating a human. Tanya had been seeing Brad for the last couple of years and knowing full well what she was, had proposed to her. A Christmas wedding was on the cards, as was a conversion. Brad's first act as a husband would be to endure the three day transformation process to be a vampire like his wife. We would all be there for it and to welcome him into his new… was life the right word?

The Denali clan were vegetarians like us and spending Christmas there would give me the opportunity to settle a score with Jasper from last year. I had a snowball fight to win!

There was no word yet from The Shed, but it was early days. We worked on some new songs and after the tension of last week's rehearsals it was good to have some fun again. Dan had brought me some tracks from female vocalists that he liked; curious to see if any would be suitable for us to do. The plan was that once we had enough original material, we'd drop other people's songs; but in the meantime it was good to listen to the obscure tracks that Dan and Zak brought for me to listen to. We were getting the measure of each other now and really working well together as a band. Jasper would have been proud of me, he'd taught me how to play the guitar a while back and on a couple of the songs, I picked up Dan's spare electro-acoustic and played some rhythm guitar to compliment his leading. I was a little out of practice, but I did it.

While the rest of them went across to Frederick's for coffee, Ricky and I did what Ricky and I always did on Tuesday and Thursday nights: We went and sat in his car. If I thought the repercussions of Saturday night were going to be limited to a Police caution, a familial roasting, a visit from the Volturi and any possible future ear-bending from Aunt Rose, I was sadly mistaken. Ricky had discovered that there was more to me than met the eye and to get to the 'more' meant that he had to get me out of my clothes. Where I had been comfortable with things up until now, I began to find hands in places that I had to gently remove them from and buttons that I had to re-do. He'd clearly been paying more attention than I'd given him credit for on Saturday night.

Jess lived her life wrapped up in an imaginary relationship with a fictional vampire. No guy she could find matched up to the ideal that, to her, Alric represented. Save perhaps this Randall guy. Jess didn't want to concern herself with boys in real life, maintaining that they were only after one thing and she wasn't giving it to them. I knew that about Ricky now and he wasn't going to get it either. That was a line I did not want to cross.

It was hard at times to escape the intense personal relationships of my family. There had been times when I'd seen and heard things I'm sure my parents had rather I hadn't - sometimes involving them - which was awkward. Sex could be a very physical thing for us and as vampires were much stronger than humans, I risked inflicting serious damage on any human partner I may have or becoming the Praying Mantis of Forks. It was a complete no no. I was going to have to be firm with Ricky, but that wasn't, I suspected, going to stop him trying.

The unease I felt over my last conversation with Dad still lingered and it got stronger as the week progressed. I turned it over and over in my mind; he'd definitely suggested that it was odd that I didn't feel anything for Jake and he'd assumed that I would. Did this have anything to do with the time that Jake and Mom had been together while Dad had been away? The interruption of Monday and the relentless rest of the week, meant that I hadn't managed to ask Grampa about what he'd started to speak about. He'd said they had been a horrible few months and said that Jake had saved the day. I speculated that I was some sort of bargain Jake and Dad had struck on his return: 'Give me my girl back and in return you can have my daughter (if I ever produce one – not likely – oh I did! There you go Jake; Bella junior)'. It sounded like something out of a fairy tale.

My hunt with Jake that week was awkward. Despite our relaxed team-work of Monday, by Friday, with me having spent the week stewing over the comments Dad had made, I was back to keeping Jake at arms length and having minimal interaction. There were no mountain lions to be had tonight and I returned home well before midnight, having consumed my usual couple of elk. I wasn't going to speak to Jake about this imprinting thing and he'd never said anything to me about it either. But I needed to know what it was and why it was such a big deal to Dad. There was only one place I could go to ask about that.

Saturday was Jess and Dan's 17th birthday. The weather did not get the memo and rain poured persistently from the skies. Last weekend's party felt like seven years ago, not seven days. Jess and Dan were spending the day at home and in the evening, the family were going into Port Angeles for dinner. I called by with Jess's card and the gift that I'd bought her. It was a book on vampire folklore that she'd wanted. I'd flicked through it and found everything to be fantastically wrong, so I was more than happy to wrap it up and stick a pretty ribbon on it.

The house was in chaos. Work had started on their kitchen and I'd only meant to stay a few minutes, but Susie insisted I stay for lunch. I wasn't hungry, I rarely was the day after I'd hunted; but I managed to force down a sandwich, to appease Susie's concern that I might waste away through lack of food.

After lunch, I drove the few miles out to La Push and pulled up outside the pretty cabin that was Emily and Sam's house. If there was anyone who could help me shed light on this, it was Emily. Sam and Leah may have been in a relationship, but when Emily came along, it was game over. Fate, destiny or whatever this thing was, had intervened. Emily was Sam's ideal mate and he had imprinted on her. I thought of Leah and could not help admitting that if fate had picked out Sam's wife for him; that she'd picked well.

I got out of the car and even through the rain I could smell that Emily had been baking. I ran across to the porch and knocked on the door. Through it I heard the sound of happy children and Emily remonstrating with them to not tease the cat. It was Sam who opened the door.

"Ness! What a surprise!"

"Hi Sam, it's not inconvenient is it?"

"Not at all, come in." Sam was tall and broad with the same cropped dark hair as Jake had. I walked into to the brightly painted, beautifully arranged home. It was clean and tidy, but not a museum, where you felt uncomfortable just looking at the furniture. "So how are you? We haven't seen you for ages. How are Edward and Bella?"

"They're fine, thank you."

"I heard about the party. You need to be careful Ness."

I nodded. "I've learned my lesson about that."

"Good. Would you like coffee?"

"Please."

"Sit down, make yourself at home and I'll get you some. I'll tell Em you're here." Sam called to Emily who appeared a few minutes later with her younger child, Ethan balanced on her hip. She was very pregnant; the baby was only a couple of weeks away now but she showed no signs of fatigue.

"Nessie! How wonderful to see you! Excuse me, Ethan needs a diaper change. Did Sam get you coffee?

"I'm doing it!" Sam called from the kitchen.

"Thanks honey! I'll be back in a minute, Ness. Come on Mr Stinky."

As Emily departed, Sam returned and handed me the coffee.

"So what brings you down here then?"

"I… er… wanted to talk to Emily about something."

"Oh, girl stuff?" I nodded. "Best make myself scarce then!" His eyes twinkled in amusement and I thought back to my birthday on the cliff top with Leah, when she'd said that Sam had wanted me killed at birth. Jake was right, there was no trace of that now. Sam and Emily could not be more welcoming. "Did Jake tell you that I'm giving up leading the pack?"

"No?" There were two packs of wolves in La Push and Sam and Jake were their respective Alpha's.

"It's the right time to call it a day. With your family gone, there's no need for so many of us and with baby number three about to make their appearance, I figured it was time for me to quit."

"Who is going to lead your pack?"

"Jared. Hey, did you know that Kim is pregnant?" Kim was Jared's wife; they had got married three years ago.

"No."

"We're so happy for them. It took a while; I think they were beginning to worry there might be something wrong. Thankfully it all came down to mother nature just taking her time." There was so much I didn't know about my Quileute friends anymore. I'd once spent a lot of time here, back when Jake and I were friends. Kim was nice, if a little offhand with me at times. Relations between the vampires and the wolves had not always been as cordial as they were now and some of them had difficulty with the ease with which I and the rest of my family came and went. Emily came back into the room.

"Glad that's done!"

"I'll go entertain Will and Ethan. Ness has come to talk to you about girl stuff."

"Ah!" Emily gave me a knowing smile. Sam kissed her and disappeared off to the back of the house. Emily sat down, wedging a cushion behind her back. She was beautiful; the only imperfection she possessed were the three gashes running down her face and arm which were the legacy of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Girl stuff? Hasn't Mom had a talk with you?"

"Not that girl stuff, it's more… wolf stuff."

"Ok. Well, shoot. What's your problem?"

"Before I start, I really don't want any of this to get back to Jake, so could you…?"

"Of course, I won't say anything to Sam."

"I was talking to Dad on Monday and he was concerned that Jake and I weren't spending time together anymore. He also asked if I had romantic feelings for Jake. I don't. I really like him as a friend, but nothing more. I have a boyfriend and…"

"You have a boyfriend? Since when?" Emily stared at me, stunned.

"We've been together six weeks. Why?"

"I'm not surprised that Edward's questioning your feelings for Jake."

"Why? Does it have anything to do with this imprinting?"

"It has everything to do with imprinting, Jake has imprinted on you. You're supposed to be with him, you're not supposed to be with anyone else, ever!" Emily was looking at me in disbelief.

"I'm supposed to be _with_ Jake? As in, _with_ Jake, as in boyfriend girlfriend?" Now it was my turn to look stunned.

"Yes! Hasn't anyone explained it to you?"

"No!"

"Well you were very young when it happened; maybe they thought you'd always been aware of it. Edward didn't pick it up?"

"That's why he was concerned. He said that he used to be able to detect possessiveness in my thoughts toward Jake, but that they weren't there any more. That's when he asked me if I felt anything for him. When did Jake imprint on me?"

"Very early, you were only minutes old."

"Minutes? He had romantic feelings for me when I was minutes old!"

"No Ness! That's not what imprinting's about at that age, or else everyone would be asking questions of Quil's attachment to Claire."

"Quil imprinted on Claire?"

"Yes!" Emily said, in that way people have when they think you're being dumb.

"I didn't know."

"We keep it secret. The world would not understand their relationship. She's nine years old, at this stage it's platonic, but the bond is as strong as mine is with Sam. I can't understand why yours is not there anymore, it should be. You should have with Jake the platonic relationship that Quil has with Claire."

"How old was Claire when Quil imprinted on her?"

"She was two. It caused a bit of a scandal at the time, but the guys see it, it makes sense to them.

"Ness, I can't explain how or why your link to Jake has broken, other than I know it shouldn't have. I haven't seen Jake for a while, so I can't tell you if there's a problem on his side too. Did anything happen between you two that you think might be the reason for this?"

"No. I've hardly spoken to him to have anything happen at all. We just see each other Friday nights when I hunt."

"And this boyfriend, how do you feel about him? Do you feel possessive of him?"

"Not particularly. He's nice, but I don't turn to mush when he's not around and I don't feel the need to attack other girls when they speak to him."

"There's no particular connection then, it's just a normal relationship?"

I shrugged. "I don't know what a normal relationship is, he's my first boyfriend."

"This is so confusing. You really should not be with this guy. What's his name?"

"Ricky."

"I really don't know what's happened, but it sounds like the connection's broken. Maybe it's because you're vampire and not fully human. Maybe the connection isn't as strong for you. Oh poor Jake!"

"What do you mean 'poor Jake'?"

"Irrespective of how you feel, there'll never be anyone else for him other than you. He's connected to you irrevocably. He can't love anybody else."

"Ever?"

"Not in the way he loves you, no."

"He loves me?"

"As sure and as strongly as Sam loves me, Jake loves you. You are his destiny. You're the one for him."

"And I don't have any choice in the matter?"

"It's not about choice, it's about knowing who is right for you, but I suppose, if you want to look at it that way, then, no you don't have a choice. Imprinting selects your perfect mate and takes all the hassle out of dating." She smiled. "I knew Sam was the right one for me instantly. Kim did with Jared; Rachel did with Paul and Anna with Seth. In time, Claire will with Quil. But in your case, it looks like you do have a choice. You'd know it in here if you loved him." Emily brought her fist up to her chest. "If you really loved Jake the way I love Sam, it would hurt you to be apart from him for even the slightest amount of time. It hurts Sam to be apart from me. Jake must be made of strong stuff to only see you once a week."

I didn't reply. I recalled what Leah had said about Jake on the cliff top.

"Stupid imprinted fool!"

Jake was, according to Emily, bound to me in a way I couldn't understand or reciprocate, even if I wanted to. He was tied to me like a puppy to a lamp post. Thinking about the inevitability of it all, maybe that wasn't the right analogy. I could suddenly feel every ounce of Jake around me, weighing me down in the way a battleship anchor might weigh down a butterfly. I couldn't breathe, I needed to get out! I jumped up.

"Thanks for spending the time Emily, it's been good to get things straightened out."

"Are you sure you're ok? You don't look good. I'm concerned about this, are you sure you won't let me speak to Sam about it?"

"No, please don't tell Sam! I'm fine, I just need to get back. I have some jobs to do for Sue and Charlie." Emily started to get up. "No, don't get up, I'll see myself out."

I said goodbye and ran back out into the rain to my car, starting the engine and pulling away without succumbing to the urge to floor it out of the reservation. I drove past Billy and Jake's house staring straight ahead.

If what Emily had said was true, then Jake was a fixed point from which I could never escape. My life had been all mapped out before I had even got through my first hour. My life suddenly felt much like the road from La Push back to Forks did. Tree-lined, impenetrable, hemmed in; you could only go to your destination, no deviation to the right or the left was possible. It was a one-way street. I flicked on my mp3 player and hit shuffle. A track started, one of the many Dan had given me in recent weeks. I looked at the display, it said XTC - _Making Plans for Nigel_ and I found unsettling parallels between the lyrics of the song and my own life. At the end of the song I started it again and replaced Nigel's name with my own.

_We're only making plans for Nessie_

_Nessie's whole future is as good as sealed._

Not if I had anything to do with it.

127


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter ****EIGHT : **Human Nature

Avoiding Jake like the plague was now my sole aim in life. I spent as little time as possible at Grampa's house. If I wasn't at Jess's, I would pitch up anywhere; even finding a quiet little corner of the forest to retreat to. To give Jake his due, he stopped calling at the house and on rehearsal nights we'd let ourselves in and out; he was never there anymore. The only time I did see him was Friday nights and as he was in his wolf form, conversation was not required. He couldn't keep up with me in his human form, so if he wanted to be with me while I hunted, it had to be as a wolf.

This disconnect with Jake was staying that way; firmly disconnected. I didn't want anything to do with a pre-planned future, destiny, fate or anything that implied that I was not in full control of my own life. I'd call the shots, thank you very much. Imprinting seemed like the very worst kind of arranged marriage and I wanted no part of it. I'd decide who I married, when I did it and if I did it at all. In the meantime, I had a boyfriend and a boyfriend I had chosen to be with. However, if he persisted in trying to undress me, he might find that I didn't choose to be with him for long.

Where November had started dull and wet, it went on to stay that way. The sky was permanently gray and underneath the solid cloud cover, we all began to forget what the sun looked like. But the weather was no indicator of the state of life in general, because there was good news for our band.

"Two slots!" Zak punched the air when he got off the phone one lunchtime. "One of which is the headline!" We cheered. "We've got the second slot on November 21st and we can have the headline on December 20th." That was lucky, I thought; it was the day before I flew up to Fairbanks for Christmas. Hmm; Christmas. That wasn't going to be the fun catch-up with everyone I'd hoped for. I wasn't feeling inclined to speak to a group of people who were complicit in this stupid imprinting. I knew, if I spoke to any of them right now, I'd end up yelling at them in anger. I could imagine the conversation:

"Hi Ness, how are you?"

"Pissed at you, let me tell you why."

No, I needed to calm down a little and get a little perspective before I spoke to them again.

November 21st wasn't that far away, only a few days; we had to get the band into shape to play a couple more songs. I knew which one I wanted them to try – the old XTC track. I'd played it on a loop constantly since first hearing it. The lyrics feeding and giving voice to the deep frustration I felt inside. I thought that because of the way I felt right now, I could deliver that song with a lot of emotion. Was venom an emotion? If I had any it would be spitting out of me right now.

My suggestion of the XTC track was well-received and we tried it out. When we rehearsed these days we all faced each other – it had seemed pointless to stare at a wall – and Ricky commented on my facial expression after that evening's rehearsal as we sat in the back of his car.

"You looked so angry. 'If looks could kill', and all that."

If looks could kill. Yeah, I wanted to kill some people right now. "That's what I was aiming for." I smiled a little. Thankfully he had no idea what I was on about and I was glad. He was Mr Uncomplicated; free of hidden family members, secret lives, closeted selves and wolfish destiny. He kissed me and I responded, glad to be with someone who didn't have an entire secret life hidden away.

The turmoil in my head distracted me for a while from what he was doing, artfully angling me down under him. It was the popping of the button on my jeans that alerted me to what he was trying to do.

"Ricky?"

"Mmhmm."

"What are you doing?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Yeah, but in a car?"

"Nobody can see us it's pouring down." He started to undo my zip and I placed my hand over his to stop him.

"No, Rick."

He scoffed. "No? Come on, I want you. I've brought something." He fished in his front pocket and brought out a small, square, foil-wrapped package."

"Ricky, no, I can't."

"When did you turn all churchgirl? You're driving me crazy woman. Come on, I'll make your first time special."

I pulled up my zip and fastened the button. He exhaled in exasperation.

"Aw come on Ness, please? If you loved me you'd do it."

I smiled lamely at him. "It's not about love, I just can't do this."

"Why not? Do you have your period?"

"No! I just… Don't wanna do this."

"With me or with anyone?"

"With anyone."

"I didn't have you marked down as the frigid type."

"I'm not frigid!" I snapped, "I just don't wanna…" I couldn't do it, whatever reckless, rebellious place my head felt like tonight, I didn't want to potentially end up having to bury his body in the woods. Ricky backed off, sensing finally, that it wasn't going to happen. He sat up and pushed the little square back into his jeans pocket.

"So… What do you want to do instead? Play chess?" There was an edge to his voice.

"No. I should get back, it's getting late." I put my hand on the door handle.

"Ok, I'll see you round."

"Yeah. I'll see you." I went to kiss him goodbye and his returned kiss was perfunctory at best. I wasn't giving him what he wanted and he wasn't happy about that. I wasn't ignorant, I knew right there, that Ricky and I were over if I wouldn't go further with him. It was only a matter of time before he found someone else to replace me. I wondered if that's what had happened to him and Emilie?

As I drove home, I thought about what had happened and was startled to feel no sadness that I knew it was over. Where were the tears? Where was the drama? Where was the overwhelming desire to lock myself away in my bedroom and cry, which I'd seen played out in real life, in books and in films? There was nothing. I was blank. Considering how angry and irritated I was with the whole Jake thing, I was expecting to feel a small twinge of sadness that my time with Ricky was coming to an end. But there was no emotional response; all I had was clinical objectivity. I was not prepared to give him what he wanted and so it was time to move on. I put it down to it being another facet of the whole bucket of weird that was me. If I felt like this, I should just end it and let him find someone else. I'd do that tomorrow. There was no use in making the poor boy wait any longer for what he so desperately wanted.

And finish it I did, the next day at lunchtime. I felt no sadness, no remorse, no anything. Maybe this is why I didn't feel anything for Jake? Maybe I couldn't feel love? Oh great, I get every other emotion in life, but not the one that really mattered to anyone. Was I destined to wander the earth for eternity, never really loving anyone? I thought of Leah and suddenly wished I hadn't.

Life in Forks was, by nature, very quiet. Nothing very much happened here as a rule. There may indeed be a secret world of vampires and people who could change into wolves, but by and large, the average resident of Forks lived a quiet, drama-free life. Until today, that was.

I heard the rumours in the parking lot as Jess and I were walking over to my car. The Pastor of the local church, the church that Sue attended, had unexpectedly resigned and there were a myriad of rumours circulating about why. Financial mismanagement, marital infidelity or inappropriate relationships with minors; whatever the truth of it, it wasn't going to stop the people of Forks getting out and indulging in some idle gossip to make it a whole heap worse.

I dropped Jess at her house and then drove home. Sue's car was parked outside and when I went inside she was sat at the kitchen table, deeply upset and talking on the phone to one of her friends. I respected her privacy, poured a cup of coffee and went upstairs to make a start on homework.

Sue came up to my room about an hour later with fresh coffee. Her eyes were red with crying.

"I heard that something happened with your Pastor. I'm sorry."

"We're devastated. I just can't believe it. David's such a lovely man."

"I didn't hear why he resigned."

"He's been having an affair. His wife found out. He resigned immediately and he's decided to get a fresh start, take some time out and make a go of things with Ruth." Sue sighed. "I was only saying to Angela the other day that it would be good to get some publicity for all the great things that are going on there. This gives us more publicity than we ever need, but in the worst possible way."

"What are you going to do in the meantime without a Pastor?"

"That's not much of a problem, there are other people who can lead services, but we'll have to start the search for new one. It's one more thing I could do without right now." On top of her worries about Leah, I could imagine this was an unwelcome development. "Ness? You know Leah's not good right?" I nodded. "I really think that she'd be better here, where I could support her as she begins to straighten her life out. I asked Charlie whether it might be possible for you to go and stay at your parent's cottage, wondered what you thought of that? Has he spoken to you about it?"

"No."

"Do you think you could? You're a healthy girl and it only takes a few minutes for you to get over there. You could still eat here and as a bonus you get to have loads more privacy! Leah's really not well and I'd like to be able to take care of her. It's a Mom thing." She smiled in a nauseating way that unsettled me.

"I'll think about it."

"Thanks. I'll leave you in peace. Are you in for dinner tonight? I'm making macaroni cheese."

"Yes."

"Ok, I'll see you later." She left my room and I knew that she wanted me to do that too. Sue wanted me to make way for Leah; that, I was in no doubt of. I may not be able to read minds, but I was a pretty good judge of faces.

I didn't have to wait long to find out what Grampa thought about Sue's suggestion. I arrived home from rehearsal that evening to another argument. This time I went through the front door and was immediately seized on by Grampa. He came striding out of the living room, face flushed with anger.

"Ness, you are not, under any circumstances, going to live at the cottage, do you hear?"

"OK."

"That was underhand Sue, I am responsible for her, she's _six_ years old."

"Oh come off it Charlie, she's not a child, she's as artful as any one of them!" As a tribe elder, Sue's loyalties lay with the packs at La Push. The thaw that had taken place in vampire wolf relations, still lingered in some quarters.

"She's staying here, that's the end of it! Ness get to bed."

I trooped off upstairs and the battle raged on down below. I couldn't settle and spent a few minutes writing a series of falsely cheerful emails to my family. The last thing I wanted was them pitching up to 'help out'; so it was imperative they believe that everything was fine, everything was going great and I loved every minute of my life in Forks.

In reality, everything was not fine, and I was loving only a few minutes of life in Forks. My happy, shiny world was rapidly tarnishing and in places, even disintegrating around me. I was living in a battleground; I'd just split up with my boyfriend; I couldn't feel any emotions other than negative ones; I was bored beyond belief at school - and let's not even start on my feelings about Jake, the whole imprinting mess, plus the way I felt lied to and sold down the river by my family. Right now, I'd more than happily get on a plane and leave the whole sorry mess behind me.

There were, however, two very good things about Forks. One was my friendship with Jess and the other was the band.

It was Chrissy who moved in to the space that I had vacated in Ricky's life and before long it was her in the back seat of his car after rehearsals. Jess was incredulous. She could not believe that I was being so calm about it and wasn't full of bad feelings towards him.

"Why would I have bad feelings towards him? I called it off, not him."

Jess pulled herself up onto the newly fitted countertop in their kitchen. "Don't misunderstand me, I get the whole not wanting to have sex with him thing. I mean, they're hardly going to work for it if girls go around giving it out free with a bag of Doritos." I smiled at Jess's way of putting things. "But what I don't get is your… Ness, you're just so sorted about everything. It's like he bounced off your bumper…"

"My bumper?"

"Yeah your… Oh! Sorry, fender. Durr I'll get the hang of this one day. It's like he didn't make an impression on you at all. Do you know how many girls would kill to have feelings that you can turn off like a switch?"

"I wouldn't exactly say I can turn things off like a switch."

"Well I'm just grateful you're not moping about like a wet weekend after him. I hate girls who do that."

"No wet weekends here."

"I emailed Randall again; he's going to be there on Thursday. Says he's really excited about seeing us.

"You emailed him, again?" I grinned, Jess looked guilty.

"I email him a lot.

"And does he reply?"

"Yes." She beamed "All the time!"

"You talk about music?"

"Not always, I'm teaching him British swear words at the moment." We laughed.

"So, tell me some more about him." Jess's eyes had lit up; she wouldn't take too much persuading to spill the beans.

"He's twenty five and he's originally from Houston but he's been living in Seattle for the last two years because he likes the music scene here. He works freelance as a music journalist; he likes science fiction films and books; his favourite food is steak, done rare… And and and…!" She was literally going to burst, "He doesn't have a girlfriend at the moment!" She punched the air repeatedly.

"You're seventeen."

"Ehhh! Age is irrelevant; we've got loads in common."

"He likes vampires too?"

She scoffed. "Haven't actually mentioned them. I think I'm frightened of telling him I only noticed him because he looks like someone else. Seems a bit lame doesn't it? Telling them you only fancy them because they look like a dead bloke on TV."

"I'd keep vampires out of it. Science fiction though? Ew!"

"Jess wrinkled her nose. "Yeah, I know. There has to be one downside about everybody. Wonder if I can get him into Terry Pratchett?"

Our next gig went brilliantly for all of us, except Jess. Randall was there but to her horror he'd brought a girl with him. We were fortunate that she spotted him after we'd played and were out in the crowd listening to the third band. If it had been beforehand, wild horses wouldn't have got her out on stage.

I followed Jess into the Ladies' room and she gave an A-Z list of every British swear word she knew as she gave vent to her frustration.

"I get this close to him, _this_ close!" She made a tiny space between her thumb and forefinger. "And some bitch snaffles him right from under my nose. _And_ he brought her _here_!" She said this like she was the aggrieved former wife, reacting to finding that her ex husband had brought his new girl to the party.

"Jess, he didn't know how you felt about him."

She sighed. "No, you're right. It's just bloody unfair! Best looking bloke in all chuffin' America and some trollop beats me to him." I sniggered.

"What?"

"Trollop."

"It's a good word."

"It's a very good word!"

Jess smiled a weak, sad smile and I hugged her. She was momentarily crushed, but I knew she'd bounce back. Jess always did. Whatever life threw at her, it 'bounced off her bumper' as she called it.

After the third band had played, we stayed to dance to some music for a while. Dan needed to apply the comment he'd made about uncoordinated giraffes to himself, because he was a truly tragic dancer. Jess and I were of course fantastic, with Jess making sure that Randall, over in the corner with his new girl, got every opportunity to see what he was missing out on.

I glanced over at Randall and for the most fleeting of time, our eyes connected. There _was_ something familiar about him! It wasn't just his resemblance to Alric, this was genuine recognition, I had definitely seen him before! I had been to Houston but it was a few years ago now; maybe I'd seen him there? Before we came again, I'd spend some time recalling my memories and search through them for Randall. But why would I know him? And why was my memory being useless and not yielding information it usually had so readily to hand? Perhaps the emotional turmoil had upset things in my head more than I cared to admit.

If I was living in a battleground, then Thanksgiving was, mercifully, a temporary ceasefire. Charlie and Sue; civil and putting on -if not actually being - the happy hosts invited Anna and Seth, Billy and Jake and Leah to spend the day with us. The eight of us crowded around the kitchen table, which Charlie had pulled through to the living room, to give us more space. There was inevitability in me being seated next to Jake, which made for a truly awkward couple of hours.

I really did not know what to say to him other than the pleasantries that people normally ask of others. It was Anna and Seth who rescued me from potential _Death by Thanksgiving_, by announcing the date of their wedding. It would be on Saturday June 14th next year. A wedding to talk about made the conversation flow a lot easier and I happily drifted into the background.

To show solidarity with Leah and her efforts to stop drinking, Sue hadn't served wine with the meal. Sober, washed and dressed in clean clothes, Leah looked better than when I had last seen her, but she still looked tired and only picked at her food. She hadn't been well the last few days, stomach flu had laid her low and after the meal, Sue sent her upstairs to nap on her and Charlie's bed. Grampa and Billy went outside, under the pretence of getting some fresh air, but I could hear the unmistakeable pop of opening beer cans, which made me snicker. Sue was loading the dishwasher, batting my help away.

"Go and talk to Jake, I'll be done in a minute." I exited the kitchen in the same way a condemned prisoner might walk to their cell. Jake and I would be alone in the living room.

I threw myself on the sofa and picked up the paper, devoting my full attention to an article about the financial state of Luxembourg. I had no interest in Luxembourg or world finance, but it was a good solid reason not to talk to Jake, who was stood over by the mantelpiece. I finished it and moved on to the crisis in Norwegian fish farming. It took a lot not to growl when Jake came and sat down next to me.

"I saw the review of your last gig at The Shed, the guy who wrote it really liked you." We had to hand it to Randall. He may have committed the cardinal sin of not noticing Jess, but he'd enthusiastically reviewed our second outing. I hoped Jess hadn't had her nose put too much out of joint to say thank you, a tame music journalist was one friend we definitely needed!

However much I might want to enthuse about things with the band, this was Jake. I wasn't speaking to him in case a misplaced word kicked off any feelings for him I didn't want to have. I would, however, be civil.

"Yeah." I snapped a little too much. But he was undaunted. Damn!

"I see from the website that you're playing there on December 20th. Mind if I came to that? I could bring Charlie?"

"No, I don't mind." Well I _did_, but if Charlie was there it would keep him company.

"Ness is there a problem?"

I'd moved on in the paper to trade relations with Egypt. "No."

"You're different these days."

"How?" Ugh! Fatal mistake girl. Don't give him more reason to talk to you!

"Well, there's the one-word answers for a start."

"I don't have anything to say."

"You seem angry. Has someone upset you? I know you're not with Ricky anymore. Is that it?"

"No," I snapped. "We're fine. Ricky's a friend. He's dating Chrissy now." 'Shut _up_, stop volunteering information!'

"And you? Is there someone new?" I shook my head.

"Is there a problem at school?"

"No."

We lapsed into silence for several minutes and I completed a thorough reading of the international news section of the paper twice over, before Jake spoke again.

"Could you please stop pretending to read the paper and look at me for a minute?" I folded it and tossed it over onto the coffee table. I turned to face him, exhaling with irritation as I did so. I looked at him properly for the first time in weeks.

"I don't know what's happened, but if I've done something to upset you, I want to apologise for it. Have I done something to upset you?"

"No."

"Ness there's something wrong. You always used to chatter incessantly and now, you're virtually monosyllabic and you can barely look at me. What's the matter? What's happened to you?"

"Nothing." I saw the pain in his face, but there were no feelings inside me that I could respond to it with. The only things I felt for him were anger and irritation; I wasn't even sure if I wanted to be his friend anymore. The line was not just disconnected, the line was now dead. "Maybe I've grown up." I added, not sure what I meant by that. "People change."

Jake stood up. He wandered back to the mantelpiece and as I watched, he lifted his finger and ran it down the picture of me sat on Mom's lap in our family photo. 'Stupid imprinted fool!' I thought. I discovered a new emotion for him; derision.

"I'll leave you now, but I just wanted to say, that… Regardless of what happens in your life, where you go, whatever you do; that I will always…"

"_Don't_ say it!" I almost snarled with the anger inside of me. I stood and faced him; looking directly now into eyes on fire with pain. "I _don't_ want it and I _can't_ return it!"

I swept out of the living room and upstairs. I stood by my bedroom window and watched as he got in his truck and drove away.

November turned into December and the enforced jollity of Christmas was everywhere. I didn't feel much like celebrating, especially as I had ten days holed up with my family in Denali National Park to endure. I may be able to hide things from Jake, but getting my head through the constant sweep of 'Dad-nar' without having things picked out of it, was going to be difficult. I crammed my mp3 player full of really loud tracks and collected together a stack of weighty books, to make sure that my head was kept fully occupied at all times. I took projects and songs I was working on too. Writing was easier now. Sleep? I'd have to take up counting sheep and hope I bored Dad enough that he gave up on my head and went and poked about in someone else's.

But all the stuff going on in the wings of my life could not detract from the main event. We had a headline gig to play and Zak went into overdrive, making sure that when we hit that stage we were ready with a campaign to get us to the next level. He put a website together and we had a very amusing Saturday afternoon dressing up and getting some publicity pictures done by a friend who was interested in photography. Zak put up some demo's, we each wrote our bio's and it wasn't just me who was telling lies on theirs. Finally, Zak called the local radio station and the local paper and hit the jackpot both times, they were interested. The paper would do a piece for that week and the radio station would have us in on the Saturday afternoon before the gig. Jess squeed with excitement and kissed Zak, much to Naomi's annoyance; she was dating Zak and didn't always find Jess's exuberance the easiest thing to deal with.

Zak was a visionary. He knew where he wanted us to go and he knew how we were getting there as well. I began to think that Madison Square Garden was not as far fetched as I'd once thought. Would my family let me have such a degree of exposure? Listen to me! We haven't even got over the water to Seattle yet and I'm wondering if being a half vampire is compatible with global rock stardom? At least I would be saved having to have my pictures airbrushed to make me look eighteen again. I'd always look eighteen, even when the rest of the band were as old as the Rolling Stones. By then, I assume people would have worked out that there was slightly more to me than having a _really_ good plastic surgeon.

Jess and I put time aside to search out the perfect stage outfits and decided, the weekend before the gig to make the trip over to Seattle. To save Jess the trauma of having to get up at what she called 'stupid o'clock'; we stayed over in Bremerton on the Friday night and caught the eight forty five ferry into the city. It was Jess's first time in Seattle and it was supposed to be mine too. I had to work hard not to look like I had any more knowledge of it than she did. What knowledge I had, I pretended had come from a trawl of websites highlighting the best stores in the city for the clothes I knew she liked. Jess had not missed the opportunity to let Randall know that we would be there if he wanted to meet up; but she was disappointed when he called midway through the day to say he wouldn't be coming. The fact, that in needing to get in touch with her to say he couldn't make it, meant that they'd now progressed to speaking on the phone – and she now had his number - cushioned the blow somewhat. Girlfriend or no girlfriend, Jess wasn't giving up on Randall just yet.

Christmas season in Seattle was in full swing and the city was one big Christmas decoration. Jess marvelled at it all. Every time I looked at her she was shaking her head in disbelief at what she saw.

"You Americans," she laughed. "You get hold of anything and take it to another level. Look at all this stuff!" She flung her arms out and twirled around in the mall we were currently walking through, taking in all the red, green and gold that adorned pretty much everything that didn't move. "It's mad, it's absolutely bonkers!" This was rich coming from the mad, slightly bonkers British girl. "But I love it!" She ran off through a giant tree with a hole cut into it, scattering small children left, right and centre. She came back around to link arms with me. I felt like an indulgent parent with her, she was carefree and unpredictable, in ways that I was sliding away from these days.

In the days when I had been friends with Jake, this was how it had been between the two of us. We'd spent our time ranging over the peninsula, him being the responsible person _in loco parentis_ and me, looking wide-eyed in wonder at every beautiful thing I could find. Sometimes I'd run back to tell him about it and urge him to come and see. Other things I'd scoop up and take them to him to look at. That time seemed like another lifetime ago. No, it felt like someone else's lifetime, I couldn't relate to that life anymore.

Jess in a gothic clothing store was much like me on the peninsula or a child let loose in a candy store. She gushed and enthused over everything, picking out great armfuls of clothes to try on and then agonizing over which ones to buy. She was insistent I get something too and I was definitely in the market for my own clothes. Rosalie had, as expected, chewed me out for borrowing things without asking. However, she cut me some slack when it emerged that I couldn't have called her for permission anyway, as she and Emmett had been in the far north of Canada, on an extended hunting trip. It was time to discover what I liked and I really liked a pair of black pants that had purple lace panels running down the sides of them. Jess and I had to bargain, she wanted them too; but in the end, she bowed to reason. They looked better on me.

"You know what would look great with those?"

"No?"

"Purple hair."

"Purple hair?"

"Yeah! You could carry that off, no problem."

Purple hair. I liked the sound of that. More, I think, because of the signals it sent out that I was breaking away from my old life and carving out a new life and a new identity for myself. Purple hair would be the outward manifestation of the inward change. I thought about it over lunch and decided that I would go for it. Two hours later I emerged from a salon with hair that was purple and eighteen inches shorter than it had been when I went in. The girlish Renesmee Cullen was history and in her place was the new, confident, capable, single-girl-in-charge-of-her-own-destiny, Ness Masen.

"You look awesome! Really! Just narrow your eyes a bit." I complied. "Dangerous and sexy too. You look like a vampire."

Huh! Precisely what I _didn't_ want to look like. But I'd take the dangerous and sexy compliments and run with those.

To dangerous and sexy we should add speechless, which was what Grampa was when I walked through the door late on Saturday night. Having found his voice again, he uttered one sentence and then went back to watching the TV.

"I'm gonna leave that one to Bella."

Having had an amusing time publicizing our gig on the radio, I left the rest of them and checked into my hotel. I was booked on the morning flight to Sea-Tac, so it made sense to stay in Port Angeles. I was laden down with every possible thing to occupy myself for ten days stranded in _Familyland_. I now knew why so many humans grouched about the holidays. Being made to spend extended periods of time with people you didn't very much want to, wasn't fun. But, they were my family and I had to; whether I liked it or not.

We sound-checked and went for something to eat. Christmas was almost here and on each child's face the excitement was tangible. We ended up at La Bella Italia and crowded into one of the booths. Across the aisle from us was a little girl, proudly wearing an 'I am 6' pin on her dress. She had brown hair that curled in ringlets down her back and wide eyes of the deepest brown. She was sat with her parents, a young couple not dissimilar in general appearance to my own parents. I studied the little family, noting the unspoken love that was there between the couple and the more visible love they were demonstrating to their daughter; smiling, laughing and encouraging her as she told them a story about the princess and the dragon figures she waved in her hands.

The people swam out of focus and in their places were the three of us; Mom, Dad and me at the same developmental point as the girl; I would be about two years old at the time. In my hands the dragon was now a wolf and I was telling them all about my day with Jake. They were listening equally indulgently, equally encouragingly as I chattered on and on and on about my favourite subject. The Adventures of Nessie and Jake.

Those days were over now. I could never again have the easy relationship I used to have with my parents. And Jake…? Just like the dragon in the little girl's hand, he was only a fairy tale beast and this Princess was running as fast as she could from the wolf, her evil father, her unfaithful mother and an eternity of being held prisoner in the red cabin by the sea.

"Are you ready to order?" The host's question snapped me back into reality.

"Oh, yeah. Ah…" I looked at the first thing on the menu. "Mushroom Ravioli please." I looked back at the family again. The little girl was now hitting the dragon on the head with her spoon. I smiled to myself. If only life could be that simple.

Being the headline act brought its own drawbacks and the big one was waiting around for what seemed like forever. Where the boys spent their time discussing whatever it was that boys talked about (who on earth knew); for Jess and I it provided the opportunity to make sure that we looked as stunning as we could. I didn't think I'd ever get my lashes clean of the layers of mascara that Jess applied to me or be able to remove the thick kohl lines she put around my eyes. The concept of 'less is more' did not apply in the life of Jess Taylor and too much was never enough. She primped and fussed over me until she declared me perfect, stood back to admire her handiwork and wrinkled her nose. Something was not right.

"What?"

She pointed to my neck. "That looks wrong."

"My pendant?"

"Yeah, you need silver. Have you got anything else?"

"No, I…"

"Hang on!" She hunted around in the small case she carried and pulled out the same half moon she had bought me. "Wear that." I tied the black ribbon around my neck and covered the pendant over with it. "That just looks daft Ness, take the other one off."

"It's not jewellery, it's for a… medical emergency."

"Well it's the middle of winter, there're no wasps about, you're safe today. Take it off." I baulked. "Ness it looks daft, take it off!" What were the chances of me getting attacked by a vampire on stage in Port Angeles tonight? Be logical Ness, it was negligible. I removed the gold pendant and stowed it safely in the pocket of my bag.

Jess's phone beeped with an incoming text message. She pulled it out and read it.

"Mum and Dad are here. They're in the audience with Charlie." Grampa was here! I lit up inside and then my lights went out like a sudden power outage. Did that mean Jake was here too? I exhaled. No Ness, don't think about him. You're here to perform for a room full of people, not to worry yourself over who was in the audience. I talked myself around and focused on the good bit – Grampa was here! Jess's phone beeped again and her eyes turned to saucers as she read the message.

"Jess, you look like your eyes are going to pop out." I laughed at her face.

"I think they might." She turned the phone to me and showed me the message.

"Do you have 5 mins before the show? I want to talk to you."

I looked at the header of who the message was from. I should have known who would be causing the surprise. It was from Randall. Jess got up, almost drunk on smirking. "Excuse me," she said, adopting a posh English accent and shaking out her hair a bit to give her a wilder rock chick look. "I have to go and meet the nice gentleman from the press. Back soon darling, don't drink all the bolly."

"The what?"

"The bolly. The Bollinger? The champagne? Keep up Ness!" She rolled her eyes at me, turned and strutted her way out of the room. I assumed she was trying to curve suggestively around the doorframe as she left, but she caught her foot and ended up falling out into the corridor instead. I laughed. Jess turned around, holding herself beautiful and erect and not at all phased by the idiotic thing she'd just done. "I meant to do that, obviously." She relaxed. "See you in a bit!" Her eyes flashed with excitement and off she sped.

It was a very long five minutes; forty three and a half minutes to be precise. Jess returned to the dressing room flushed and quiet. In her hands was a small, gift-wrapped box. She brought in the smell of the fresh air outside, of the hint of rain in the wind. She sat down on one of the low chairs holding the gift like it was the most precious thing in the world. She looked at me with stunned eyes.

"The most beautiful man in the world gave me a Christmas present. I think I've died and gone to heaven." She bit her lip. She had not unwrapped it yet and it was beautifully presented. The red printed paper was lined up perfectly on the join and lengths of gold gift ribbon tumbled in perfectly coiled spirals from the centre. Judging by the size of the box, it looked like perfume or something along those lines.

There was a knock at the door and one of the stage hands called us out. Jess placed the package carefully in her bag, her face was a picture of radiance. Jake possibly being in the audience was nothing; I'd take Jess's thrill of having a Christmas present from Randall out onto the stage tonight. She linked arms with me as we walked; there was an unusual scent that caught my attention as she did so, a hint of rain on ferns. I inhaled more deeply; it was not immediately familiar, but not entirely unfamiliar either.

In the end, Jake hadn't been there. I scanned the audience repeatedly but never found him. I saw Randall right at the back, almost hidden in the shadows; no girl with him this time and to my delight, he spent a lot of time looking at our keyboard player. Maybe Jess would get her hearts desire after all. I hoped she would. Age was irrelevant, she was quite correct, that much I knew from my own family's experience. Besides, the sassy Brit was a match for anyone, Jess wasn't naïve and she wasn't stupid either. Grampa has stood with Brian and Susie and I caught him bobbing about at one point which nearly made me laugh out loud. He'd been predictably stuck for words when we met up afterward - he took my stage stuff home then I didn't have to lug it to Denali. But I didn't need any words from him to know what he wanted to say if he could. I could see what he meant quite clearly in his face.

Love. Approval. Pride.

I would wrap those words up and store them in my heart for the chilly Christmas ahead.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter ****Nine: Aurora**

The sky in Fairbanks was a gorgeous clear blue and Alaska was buried under a thick white winter coat. I'd arranged a cab to take me to Denali, refusing Tanya's offer for one of them to come and collect me. I'd given her the excuse about wanting to learn how to do these things for myself; but the truth was, that I wanted to delay my re-entry into the vampire world for as long as possible.

The cab dropped me off at the gate and I started the short walk up the drive through the snow. It curved gently upwards for about a quarter of a mile, opening out to the secluded hunting lodge that was home to Kate, Garrett, Carmen, Eleazar, Tanya and now Brad.

There were several vehicles parked outside already. In addition to the family's cars there were Carlisle's familiar Mercedes and Emmett's current monster truck. The New York-plated Land Rover must be Alice and Jasper's and parked at the end, a black, brand new Volvo SUV that had to be Mom and Dads. By the looks of it, I was the last to arrive.

As I approached the door it was thrown open and Tanya stood in the doorway.

"Nessie! Come in, come in!" She trilled. Her accent still held distinct traces of her Slovakian origins where she and Kate were originally from.

I walked in through the doors and into the huge main room. Yes, they were all here. As I came in they stood up and walked over to me. Behind them, by the fire, the man rising slowly off the sofa looking slightly unsure of himself, must be Brad. Tanya came to stand behind me, her hands on my shoulders. "And last, but not least, here is the baby of our family. Brad, meet Nessie! You can take your hat off now." I pulled it off. Thirteen vampires and one human gasped in shock.

"What have you done to your _hair_?" Screeched Alice. "Bella, did you know about this?"

"No." I looked at Mom. In contrast to every other person in the room, her eyes were twinkling and her shoulders were gently shaking with laughter. Nobody else was amused, least of all Dad.

"Bella? What's so funny?" He said, tersely. That look was back, the one I really didn't like.

"Oh Edward, she dyed her hair!"

"I can see that, I don't see why it's amusing."

"Our baby is a teenager!" This clearly didn't compute with him. "Don't you get it?"

"Get what?"

"Dyeing your hair, cutting it all off, it's what teenagers do!"

"Not in this family they don't."

Mom looked at him with incredulity. "Well, perhaps you should've added that to the list of dos and don'ts you gave her. Come on Ness; let's get your stuff to your room, I'll help you unpack."

Mom and I made our way upstairs. The lodge was essentially one large central area. Downstairs, the main room was arbitrarily divided into living, dining and library areas. There was a large kitchen and laundry room beyond it. The eight bedrooms, four on each side, were off balconies that overlooked the central area, accessible by a staircase at each end. Or, you could jump and we frequently did.

My room was simply furnished with a bed, a wardrobe, a small sofa, a chest of drawers, a desk and chair. I shrugged out of my jacket and hung it up, hooking my hat over the top. Mom unzipped my case and started to pull things out.

"Mom?"

She stopped and looked at me, I pointed to my hair.

"I don't mind, it's what teenagers do, they experiment."

"How come you see it and they don't."

"Easy. When was I born?"

"1987."

"When was Alice born?"

"1901."

"And Rose?"

"1915"

"Ok, so who is going to have a slightly better grasp of what a teen wants to do to her hair?"

"You." Mom nodded, hanging up my fleece tops. I may not need them for warmth but it was important to dress appropriately to avoid suspicion.

"What about Dad?"

She sighed. "I'll talk him round. I'm sure it was just the shock of it, but…" she pulled a face. "He's been… odd lately, distracted, unsettled, like something's eating him."

"He hasn't said what it is?"

"No, he says it's nothing. I hate it when he says that. I sometimes wish I could read his thoughts the way he can other people's, get an idea of what's going on in there. Ok, I think we're done here." She pushed closed the drawer where she'd placed my underwear. "Apart from one very important thing."

"What?"

She opened her arms and I went and wrapped mine tightly around her waist. She smoothed her hand down what remained of my hair.

"Regardless of what anyone else says, I think your hair looks great. It's a little shocking to see you with it so short, but they'll get used to it. They're attitudes and opinions are from a different time, you have to appreciate that. You know? This plum colour goes well with the brown of your eyes."

"Thanks. I like it."

"Now come down and meet Brad, you'll like him."

Downstairs, everyone else had returned to the area around the fire, sat on or in front of, three huge sofas. Tomorrow, Tanya and Brad would be getting married. Following that, a cabin had been all set up a short distance away, where Brad and Tanya would go whilst Brad underwent his conversion. Tanya was going to be the one to change him.

I sat down on the floor beside the fire, next to Grandma. The others were still casting glances in the direction of my hair, not favourable ones from Alice or Rosalie, but I didn't care; Mom was on my side. I looked at Brad sat opposite. He smiled at me.

"I was going to get some coffee; I believe you eat human food? Wondered if I could get you one too?"

"You have food here?" I hadn't eaten all day. "I'm a little hungry."

"Yes." Said Tanya. "Brad's been living here for a while; we have a fully stocked kitchen, go help yourself."

"Thanks." I got up and followed Brad into the kitchen. He got mugs out of the cupboard and filled them with coffee from the pot.

"So you eat human food _and _drink blood too?"

"Yes, I can live on either."

"Do you prefer one above the other?"

"Right now I prefer human food. I'm eating it most of the time so I've gotten used to the taste."

"You got any favourites?"

I grinned. "Chocolate."

Brad laughed. "That sounds so odd. A chocolate-loving vampire; with purple hair."

"Half vampire." I corrected.

"I think we have…" He looked in one of the cupboards. "Yep, there you go." He pulled out a bar of chocolate and gave it to me. I ripped off the wrapper and bit off chunk. It was good! "Excuse me for commenting; but, you look _really _human. I would not have guessed there was anything different about you, if I didn't know who your parents were. You look like a regular teenage girl."

"Thanks" I liked comments like that. "Yeah, I fit in well. I don't do all that pale-skinned sparkly stuff like the rest of them."

"That's gonna be me come Christmas Day." He pushed over the mug of coffee to me and leant back against the counter sipping his. The next three days were going to be excruciatingly painful for him. I'm sure he knew this and felt suddenly in awe of him, that he would undergo something so painful to be with the woman he loved. He was choosing a life I was subtly rejecting. We were, in that regard, opposites.

I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and as I did so, Brad told me a bit about himself. He was thirty-six and from Wasilla, just north of Anchorage. He was a trucker by profession and he'd met Tanya when his truck broke down on an isolated section of the Anchorage to Fairbanks road in bad weather. She had spied him and gone to offer assistance.

"She kept me company while the rescue crew got to me and I don't need to tell you that I wished they'd never get there. She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen and I didn't want to say goodbye. Thankfully, neither did she and she asked for my number. That was just over two years ago."

"And when did you find out what she was?"

"I think I sort of guessed early on, but my head didn't want to admit it. Mainly, I think, because I thought that if I did admit what she was, she'd disappear. But, there was a night, I sort of came out with it and she stayed right where she was. She told me she was glad I'd guessed."

Brad was tall, six foot four and solidly built, quite muscular but not in a defined way. This was natural muscle, not something he'd worked for in a gym. He wore the almost ubiquitous jeans and checked shirt that all men did around here. He had slightly untidy brown hair, brown eyes that were bordered by soft creases and that slightly weather-beaten look, characteristic of those who live their lives outdoors. I could see why Tanya and Mom liked him; his demeanour was very relaxed, open and friendly. He was easy to be with, easy to listen to and he didn't seem fazed by any of our weirdness. Was this how it had been for my Mom, meeting the Cullens for the first time?

We went back through to the living room and I sat back down on the floor with my little picnic of coffee, peanut butter and jelly sandwich and the half eaten chocolate bar.

"I hope that's not an indication of how you've been eating these past few weeks."

"No Dad, I've had the occasional vegetable." Ugh! Was he going to be on at me about something the _whole_ time I was here? I dug my mp3 player out of my pocket, selected the XTC track, turned it up good and loud and isolated myself from him.

The next morning, when I emerged from my room, I could see that they had been busy overnight. There were white flower garlands running along each balcony and down the vertical supports underneath. I leaned on the balustrade and looked down at Alice and Carmen; they were placing vases of flowers on the tables. Coming from the bathroom to my left I could hear the buzz of a razor, Brad must be shaving. I stuck my mp3 player earphones in and padded downstairs in search of something to eat. After today, they'd need the food eating up so I might as well make myself useful.

The fridge contained bacon and ketchup and there was bread on the side. Perfect! I'd make myself what Jess and Dan referred to, as a 'bacon butty.' A colloquial north of England phrase for a bacon sandwich. Dan was of the opinion, that armed with a good strong mug of proper British tea and a bacon butty, he could conquer the world. I smiled as I thought of him and Jess; and then winced as I realised how much I missed them. A dance track started and as I waited for the bacon to cook, I danced around the kitchen in my pyjamas, oblivious to Emmett and Jasper stood behind me laughing.

An hour later and I was washed, dressed in something that had been left hanging on my wardrobe and standing between Mom and Dad, as Tanya and Carlisle walked between us down the makeshift aisle. It was just us; there was no one from Brad's side because there was no one on Brad's side. He was an only child whose Mom had died four years ago. Convenient, seeing as after today, he wouldn't be able to see them anyway. It was a quick, simple service, conducted by a local official who departed promptly afterwards to escape being stranded. The snow was coming down fast now and I went over to the window to watch it.

I hadn't been there long when Tanya brought Brad over.

"Nessie, show him what you can do. Show him the ceremony from your perspective." I smiled. This wasn't something I did much anymore. I lifted my hand and placed it on Brad's cheek; he gasped as my memories of this morning now played in his head. He could see himself, stood with Tanya exchanging vows. I moved back to yesterday and recalled our time in the kitchen getting to know one another. "Our little Nessie is a talented girl, just like her parents."

"This is amazing!"

"Let me show you the Cullen house." I said.

I selected memories of last summer, the last time we'd been there together. I was outside, walking through the grass towards the big white house. The door was up on the garage to the left and I could see Emmett and Rose working on their cars. I walked up the steps to the porch, through the main door and into the living area. Alice and Esmé were sat on the sofa talking; Jasper was playing along on his guitar to something Dad was playing on the piano. Mom was sat beside him on the stool. I panned around and Carlisle was coming down the stairs. In the corner of the picture was the side profile of a wolf, Jake had been with me. Jake. I quickly switched memories and showed Brad the back of the house, all of us out on the lawn enjoying the sun, facets of light dancing off each one of the full vampires. I was sat on a log and as I looked around to my right, Jake was sat beside me. Ach, was he always there? I switched memories again; quick bursts of them now, showing him the various rooms in the house. I dropped my hand. It felt strange to have done that.

"That's astonishing; it was like I was there! Can you do that to anyone?"

I nodded. "Even Mom. You know about her shield?"

"Yeah. And what do you use it for?"

"These days? Nothing." I shrugged. In the past I used it frequently to share my day with Mom or other family members. Dad could see what I was thinking anyway, I didn't need to touch him. But as I'd grown I'd gotten out of the habit of doing it and it wasn't something I could use in Forks on the humans that I knew. I'd used it occasionally on Grampa, but not since I'd been living with him full time. It was now nothing more than my party piece; and as vampire talents went, it was pretty lame.

Not much later, Tanya and Brad returned from upstairs. Brad had changed into comfortable clothes and we were all very much aware of what they'd been doing - thank goodness for mp3 players! It was time to go across to the cabin; Carlisle would accompany them to make sure Tanya released once she'd bitten him -not everyone survived a voluntary transformation. He was nervous and who could blame him; when we next met he would be one of us but between then and now he had a lot to endure. The three of them donned their waterproof jackets and went out into the darkness of the snowy afternoon.

I left and went up to my room. I needed to keep myself busy to stop my head dwelling on things I did not want it to. I had some songs to work on and I had some new tracks to listen to that Dan had passed to me.

The afternoon and early evening passed slowly and I struggled to get the words to flow. It was like I had a mental block. I knew what I wanted to say but try as I might I just could not get the ideas down in a form I was happy with. I examined the problem. The numbness I felt about Jake seemed to be the cause of the blockage. It was if I could only access the surface of myself, there was no depth there was no substance to me. Whatever words I used to try and express myself were inconsequential and I ended up feeling like I'd hit a wall or driven to a dead end.

By the evening I was cranky and irritated and stomped down the stairs to the kitchen to fix myself some food. Carlisle was back and things seemed relaxed enough so I guessed Brad's conversion was successfully underway.

I hunted through the remaining food and selected some chicken which I coated in chipotle sauce and stuck under the broiler. There was more chocolate too; Brad wouldn't need that anymore, I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I finished that up for him.

I stayed in the kitchen to eat, mp3 player constantly on and notebook to hand in case the muse should strike during dinner. It didn't. I trudged back upstairs and ran myself a hot, deep bath; anything to kill time. As I shut the water off and prepared to get undressed, Rose appeared at the door.

"Are you planning to talk to us at all while you're here, or merely exist in some bedroom, kitchen and bathroom Bermuda Triangle?"

"I'm busy, I have stuff to do."

"Stuff so important you can't even make time for your family?"

"I'll come down after I've had a bath."

"Ok. And Edward wants to know where your school report is."

"It's in my bag, I'll bring it down with me."

"Ok, don't be too long, Esmé and Carlisle are going out to hunt later on."

Rose disappeared and I locked the door behind her. I got undressed and sank into the hot foamy water, sticking my mp3 earphones back in and hitting shuffle. The XTC track came on which made me smile. I sang along using the correct words.

Later, dressed in my pyjamas and with my hair still damp, I went downstairs and handed the sealed envelope containing my school report to Dad. I went off to make myself some hot chocolate and helped myself to another bar of it from the cupboard. It was an unexpected bonus to find a big stash of chocolate to work through; it could be my salvation over this holiday! I poured on hot water and stirred the drink, the air moved behind me.

"What is this?"

"It should be my school report?" I turned and looked at the piece of paper Dad was holding, thinking for a moment the wrong thing had ended up in the envelope. No, it was the right… Ah… I realised what the problem was.

"These are B grades; they must have gotten you mixed up with another student."

"No, they're mine."

"They're Bs."

"Yeah." I returned to my chocolate and took a sip.

"You can only scrape a B?"

"No, I could get an A if I wanted."

"Why don't you?" I shrugged by way of reply. "Renesmee?" His voice took on a hard quality. I didn't reply, I didn't think, I just sipped my drink.

"What's the matter?" Mom came into the kitchen, holding one of the Christmas garlands that she had been putting up. Dad handed her the paper. "Bs? Is everyone suddenly a genius in Forks? Ness you could get an A in your sleep, what's the problem?"

"There isn't a problem." I muttered.

"Then why the poor grades?" Dad snapped. I shrugged. "That is getting very annoying. Talk to me, why are these grades so low!" He was angry now, but I didn't answer.

"Is there a problem at school?" Mom said, more gently. "Is someone getting at you?" I shook my head. "Are you just not trying?" I didn't answer.

"What's up?" Carlisle appeared in the doorway.

"Ness's report." Mom handed it to him.

He scoffed. "Bs? Surely they got her mixed up with someone else?"

"No." Dad said coldly. "She says they're hers."

"Edward, have we got a developmental problem?" There was deep concern in Carlisle's voice.

"No, I'm beginning to suspect an attitude problem."

"You're doing this deliberately?" I looked up; the three of them were staring at me. "You're deliberately failing? Why?"

"I'm not failing!" Indignation coloured my voice my anger was building.

"Then explain to me why you're not trying!" I made the mistake of glancing at Dad, the look was back. My anger made me lock my head down tighter. "You can't keep me out forever, Renesmee."

"I wish I could!" I snapped back at him.

"Do not speak to me like that!"

"Then stop getting at me!"

"I'm not getting at you; I am merely trying to find out why you are failing at school."

"I am not failing!" I yelled at him. "A B grade isn't a fail!"

"Get to your room!"

"Suits me just fine!" I grabbed my chocolate.

"Ness, will you talk to us please?" Mom pleaded.

"No!"

"What is with you?" There was panic in Mom's eyes. "Edward, what's going on in her head?"

"Nothing. Clearly her grades reflect that." I whipped around to face my father, every atom of my being seething with anger towards him. I was too angry even to speak. "Go to your room Renesmee." He spoke with barely concealed anger. "You can come out when you're willing to apologise and explain yourself."

"Apologise for what? I didn't start this!"

"Go to your room!"

"No!"

"Go you your room!"

"Edward, this isn't helping." Mom tried to soothe things. She put her hands on my upper arms; I shrugged them off, throwing the hot chocolate all over myself and the floor.

"Mom! Fucking hell!" I yelled, throwing the mug down and smashing it on the tiled floor. Dad was instantly in my face, bellowing.

"Get out of my sight, now!"

The next second I was in my room, slamming the door behind me.

I stayed there for a day and a half.

Nobody came and apart from trips to the bathroom, I didn't leave.

When I woke at lunchtime on Christmas Eve, I felt utterly wretched. I'd spent the last thirty six hours in utter emotional turmoil and I was exhausted. I hadn't slept at all the first night and I'd barely slept last night, finally dropping off at around five thirty. At least I'd managed some sleep, but it had barely touched the sides of what I needed. I needed to sleep for a year.

I listened, but could hear no sounds of anyone in the lodge. I went to the door, opened it a crack and looked down onto the seating area below. There was no one there. I was ravenous! Could I chance a run to the kitchen? I decided I would and I was down in an instant.

The chocolate spill and broken mug had been cleared away and there was no sign of anyone at all so I relaxed, working quickly to fix myself some cereal for breakfast. I stuffed the pockets of my bathrobe with chocolate and cookies. I also snagged an unopened pack of Goldfish crackers and a large pack of mixed nuts. If I didn't emerge from my room again before the flight home, this would keep me going. I wolfed down the cereal and had a second bowlful, finishing the rest of the milk in the carton. The dishwasher was clean and empty so I washed my bowl and spoon by hand, dried them and put them away. I'd leave no trace of myself for anyone to get at me further.

I sprinted back upstairs stashed the food and took the world's quickest shower. I wiped down the bathroom after myself, once again leaving no trace. Back in my room I got dressed, dried my hair and pulled out a book to read. I might as well take the opportunity to relax while I could. I dragged the quilt off the bed and wrapped it around me on the sofa as there was every chance I would drop off again. I really was exhausted!

It was late afternoon and dark before I heard the door open and Rose's laugh announce that she and Emmett were back from wherever it was they had been. Their arrival made me angry again. Angry over what had happened, angry that no one had come to try and sort it out and angry because they were trespassing on my quiet oasis in the lodge.

As the evening progressed there was laughter and excitement. They were all talking about their plans for next year and the places they were going to visit on vacation. I tried to focus on my book but my irritation levels were growing again and I couldn't settle. I ate half a pack of cookies and tried to fruitlessly finish a song. I was bored out of my head, but an inherent stubbornness prevented me from going downstairs and apologising for what had gone on. When I looked at the clock again it was nearly half past nine and I noticed it was quiet again downstairs. They'd all gone out.

A knock at my door made me almost jump.

"Yeah?" I called, quietly. The door opened and Grandma stuck her head round the door.

"I'm not supposed to do this, but everyone's gone out to see the aurora tonight and I know how much you love to watch it."

"Thanks."

"Please apologise to your parents, Nessie; I really don't want you to spend Christmas Day up here, it would make things so awkward. I wouldn't enjoy the day at all."

"I'll think about it." Was all I could respond with at the moment.

"Please do, sweetheart, a lot! Hope to see you later." She smiled and disappeared.

The aurora was not something I wanted to miss whatever was going on. I pulled on my boots, went downstairs for my jacket and ran out into the clear, December night, letting the door slam shut behind me. Damn! I'd have to ask someone to let me in again; I hadn't left my window open.

I set off in a northerly direction at a gentle run. The snow was deep, but I made light work of getting through it. About a mile from the lodge I found a good vantage point in a clearing where a tree had fallen. I scraped the snow from the horizontal trunk and sat down.

Watching the aurora was one of my most favourite things in life and coming to Denali in winter gave you a good chance of seeing them. I loved the colours and the way the ribbons of light danced through the sky. They were mesmerising and it felt a privilege to be granted a glimpse of them. I gazed upwards, freeing my spirit from the misery of my world and losing myself in the fantastic green ribbons of light.

But tonight, there was something blocking my view. As I watched the lights dance, I could not shake the image of a pair of eyes superimposed on the sky, looking at me. It was as if I'd looked at the sun and the eyes had burned themselves onto my retina. It didn't matter which way I looked or whether I closed them or kept them open; the eyes were always there. They were not familiar to me and they were neither friendly nor hostile, but they were there; like somebody's head obscuring your view in a movie theatre. I felt cheated of my aurora show!

After a few minutes I gave up, disheartened. The eyes were spoiling it. I wanted to go back, I was tired and I needed to go eat some humble pie and get someone to let me in. I stood up and turned round. Dad was right there.

"I'm sorry for swearing at Mom."

"That's something you need to say to her, but I'm pleased to hear it. I'm not here to discuss what happened, I'm here to talk about Christmas Day. I don't want it ruined for everyone else because of whatever it is that you're angry about. Can we call a truce from now until the day is over?" I nodded. "I was heading back to the lodge, would you like to come with me?" I shook my head. "I wanna stay out a little longer."

"That's not what your head was saying before."

"Dad!" My irritation was instantly sky high. "Do you not get it!"

"Oh I get it, but you don't. I can't _not_ listen to you." He shouted. "You're my daughter, you're connected to me in a way nobody else is."

"What do you mean connected to you? You mean you can hear me a long distance away, right?"

"It's not just that, it's… more. I've discovered that I don't have the luxury of blocking you out as I can the others. With you, it's as if someone tuned the radio to channel Ness and pulled the dial off. If you're in range of me I can't _not_ hear you."

He probably didn't expect me to snicker, but I did.

"You can't shut me out?" I bit my lip, stifling a laugh.

"No." He exhaled. I giggled, as a whole new world of torturing Dad opened up before me. "Oh great, thanks Ness! Like I need to hear more bad music." I saw the smile start in the corner of his mouth before it broke across the rest of his face. He rolled his eyes. "It is ironic that I can't get _in_ to your mother's head unless she lets me and I can't get you _out _of it, however hard I try."

"Well, life's a bitch, Dad. And you can't even die!" I laughed at my own joke, glad that the tension between us had eased.

"Oh ha ha, you're quite the comedian!"

"Oh I know something that'll make you laugh!" I pulled out images of the experiment Mr Newton had done a few weeks ago that had gone catastrophically wrong. I was right, he did and I hadn't heard my Dad laugh like that in far too long. I'd missed it.

"He got that wrong in school, what sort of teacher is he?"

"A really bad one. You should have killed him while you had the chance."

Dad grinned. "I should have."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter ****Ten: Christmas with the Cullens**

I plonked myself down on the sofa and yawned forever.

"I think I just saw Antarctica down there." Jasper sat across from me reading. "It's seven thirty, are you going to get dressed today?"

"Nope. I'm gonna stay in my PJ's all day." I yawned again. "I am so tired." I looked around. "Where's everybody else?"

"Our clan aren't out of their rooms yet. Kate, Garrett, Carmen and Eleazar went over to the cabin early, so I expect they're out showing Brad how to hunt."

"He's cooked?"

"He's cooked!"

"Good! More chocolate for me!"

"You'll get fat."

"No I won't."

"Yes you will."

"Shut up!"

"You are getting so lippy in your old age."

"Well you'd know all about _old_ age." Jasper was the second oldest of our family behind Carlisle. He'd been born in 1844 and had served during the Civil War. Like Carlisle, he was a walking history book that I had plundered at every opportunity.

"Are you going to hunt while you're here? Or merely eat repulsive things like chocolate?"

"Chocolate is not repulsive!"

"It smells it."

"I was going to hunt tomorrow, actually."

"Alice and I will come out with you if you'd like the company?"

I nodded. "That would be nice." I hadn't hunted with another vampire in months.

Alice appeared on the arm of the sofa next to her husband, wearing a gold dress and holding a plum coloured sweater and skirt out to me. I suspected that my plan of spending the day in my PJ's did not meet with her approval.

"As I'm dressing to match my eyes today, I thought you might like to dress to match your hair."

"She says she's spending the day in her pyjamas." Jasper grinned. He knew, as well as anyone that fighting Alice over clothes was futile. Better capitulate now than suffer the indignity of being pinned down and forcibly dressed in what Alice wanted me to wear.

"I guess my plans have changed." I grabbed the clothes.

"Good girl!" Alice approved "I knew you'd see sense."

Washed and dressed in the predictably lovely outfit that Alice had picked out, I went back downstairs to find my family assembled. I claimed a round of hugs and kisses from them, the unpleasantness of the last few days pushed to one side. As Christmas mornings went it was Hollywood movie-scene perfect. Snow falling outside; a log cabin exquisitely decorated for the event and immaculately dressed beautiful people sat around a roaring fire, exchanging gifts. There was also the obligatory, slightly over-excited child with a chocolate smudge on her face – me. I loved Christmas!

From Dad there was an extra present. From a small box I extracted a key which made me gasp and laugh at the same time. I couldn't believe what I held in my hand. The key to his classic Aston Martin Vanquish!

"I'm giving it to you. It needs somebody to look after it. As it's just sat in the garage in Forks, who better to have it than you?"

His prized car and it was now mine! I put my hand over my mouth as a hundred different wonderful memories of the car tried to fight for attention in my head. His hand rubbed my back and I leant up against his shoulder. He kissed the top of my head. I didn't think I could reliably trust myself to speak without blubbing; so I said the words I wanted to say in my head.

"Thank you! I love you!"

"I love you too Nessie." He whispered.

"Don't get the idea he's turned all magnanimous, Ness," said Rose. "He's got something else on order, but he irritatingly won't tell us what it is."

"Thanks Rose for spoiling our daddy daughter moment, there." He snickered and I sat up to look at him, searching his eyes trying to figure out what the new car was, from them. He smirked back at me. "I'm not telling you, you can wait and see like the rest of them."

"It's probably some hideous limited edition Volvo." Emmett scoffed.

"No, it's not a Volvo."

Ha! Alice would know, she would've seen his decision!

"Alice?" She shook her head at me.

"Your Mom extended her shield. I didn't see what he chose."

"Bollocks!" I said.

The frequently issued expletive that tripped casually from Dan and Jess's tongues did not find a ready welcome in my family. The jokey environment evaporated in an instant.

"None of us want to hear language like that Ness." Carlisle spoke with quiet authority. "Please do not use it in our presence again."

"Sorry."

"Just because you're trying to fit in with your human friends," he continued, "does not mean that you need to drag yourself down to their level. You're a Cullen. That means something in our world. We would all be grateful if you'd remember that.

"Edward, is there any sign of them arriving back? I'm sure we're all anxious to see Brad."

"Not yet. They are going for one more hunt."

"Ok." A look passed between Carlisle and Dad and I saw Dad nod almost imperceptibly. Carlisle changed the subject. "Ness, I looked at the video on your band's website and read the reviews; looks like you're doing well there."

"Thanks, yes. I enjoy it."

"I take it the Jess in the band is your friend?"

"Yes."

"She's British?" I nodded in reply. "And new to the area?"

"Yeah, she moved over last August."

"Whereabouts in Britain is she from?" Carlisle had been born in London; he was British himself, although the accent had long since disappeared.

"They're from Cumbria."

"That's one of the most beautiful areas of Britain. I've been there, but it was a long time ago, now."

"Just after the last ice age!" Jumped in Emmett. We laughed and the tension eased a little. But the look on Dad's face didn't and Mom too was tense. I thought my apology again. Carlisle's reproach had made me feel very contrite.

"They are on their way back," called Alice. "They're about two minutes away."

Everyone got to their feet and I found myself behind a wall of vampires. Emmett, Jasper and Dad deliberately took up position in front of me. Mom stood beside me, Alice and Rosalie behind. Carlisle and Esmé stood in front of our group. I couldn't see very well and tried to move out a little. Rosalie grabbed my arms and pushed me back behind Emmett and Jasper.

"Do not move from here" she said. "Brad is a neophyte, we need to establish that he can control himself before you go anywhere near him." Of course, I wasn't as durable as the rest of them. "Not everyone has the self control your Mother did."

Those remaining seconds ticked by so slowly, but finally the door opened and in came Garrett, Kate, Carmen, Eleazar, then finally Tanya and Brad hand in hand. Tanya looked the happiest woman on the planet, clearly in awe of her newly-minted vampire husband. Brad looked a little bewildered. Carlisle stepped forward, Esmé followed and my Grandfather extended a hand to the newest member of the Denali coven.

"You're looking good Brad. How are you feeling?"

Brad shook his head in disbelief and a nervous laugh burst through his lips. "It's going to take a bit of getting used to."

"Yes, it will. How did the hunting go?"

"That's going to take some getting used to too."

"He did really well." Tanya was bursting with pride. "I'm so proud of him." She kissed him on the cheek. Brad whipped round to face her, responding to a physical desire within.

Emmett laughed. "Hey, not in front of the kid!" He could talk.

"Brad?" Carlisle claimed the new vampire's attention back from his wife. "We're going to be slightly protective of Nessie until we establish that you're coping with her being here. Can you pick out her scent?" Brad nodded. "Can you focus on it and inhale, please?" Brad obeyed. "Jasper? Edward?" Everyone remained still and silent for a moment.

"He's ok." Said Jasper, I'll stick close by and keep an eye on his mood, but I'm happy with it. Edward?"

"Yes, I am too." The wall parted in front of me.

I'd never seen my Mom in her original non-vampire state; my gestation had inflicted heavy damage on her body and I'd only seen her as a healthy human in pictures. It was only now that I appreciated the changes that a vampire conversion made in the human appearance. Brad, a good-looking guy to start with, had been perfected through the transformation. He still looked like Brad, but his facial features were sharper, his jaw line more defined and his skin was flawless; vampire white with the faintest hint of colour from the blood he had recently ingested. His movements were the quick vampire reactions of my family and he would need to re-learn human ways of responding. His eyes - once soft brown - were now red and almost neon in their intensity. It would take a year for the red to change to gold and who knew how long until he mastered his thirst. I was aware that even after fifty years drinking animal blood, there were days when Jasper struggled around humans.

The rest of us drifted over to greet Brad. Mom caught my hand and Dad; always Mr Careful shielded me slightly as we approached. Dad greeted him first, then Mom and then it was my turn to meet the new vampire. There was suddenly a crowd. Jasper was on the left, Dad on my right. Emmett appeared behind me and his arm snaked around my waist, ready to pull back should a change be sensed in Brad's demeanour. I held out my hand, Brad held out his and we shook.

Brad laughed. "You're so warm and soft! You feel completely different to the rest of them. And your scent is… I can't find the right word!

"Our Nessie is so special, so rare." Purred Tanya.

"I can see that." said Brad. "I guess all the chocolate's yours now, huh?"

"I'll make sure it goes to a good home." I grinned at him.

"So, introductions over." Said Garrett. "We'd better let you and Tanya have a little 'get to know you' session." A snicker went round everyone. "Cabin's back that way." Garrett pointed out the door.

"What's wrong with our room?" Asked Brad.

Garrett slapped his new brother on the shoulder" You're gonna want some privacy."

"And a room isn't enough?"

"No, we'd prefer to have a functional place to live after you've finished."

"Garrett we have done this before." Brad whispered, but everyone could hear him.

"Not as a vampire you haven't." Garrett spoke equally quietly. "Trust me, things respond differently."

"Oh." Said Brad suddenly understanding. "Cabin it is then."

"Yep. See you later."

Tanya pulled her husband eagerly out of the door.

It wasn't long afterward that the house phone rang. It was for Eleazar and he spent twenty minutes or so talking to the person on the other end. He emerged from the study looking concerned.

"That was Mahesh, an Indian vampire that I knew whilst I was with the Volturi. There has been a revolt within the ranks and several members of the guard have left. The organisation is in disarray."

"A revolt?" Carlisle was stunned. "What precipitated that?"

"Mahesh does not know the details, but Aro has been looking to increase his dominance and control. Looks like not everyone is happy to go along with his plans."

"Has the old man finally lost it?" Asked Garrett.

"Nothing so simple my friend. Aro is a complex character; but he is egotistical, as those who have been in charge a long time without opposition get. Mahesh told me that in recent years he has been seeking to shore up and increase support for the Volturi, by fair means or foul. Especially after the events concerning… Renesmee."

"Me? Why would I be a threat to the Volturi?"

"You mean apart from posting 'How to' clips on You Tube."

I whipped around to face Emmett "That wasn't me!"

"It was you in the video."

"Yeah, but I didn't put it there!"

"Em, we've been through all this. Drop it please." Mom said quietly.

I turned around to face Eleazar again.

"Not you specifically, my dear;" he continued, "it's more the way that a significant number of us stood to witness for you, in direct opposition to the Volturi. They have always held the upper hand but Mahesh suspects Aro feels that opposition more keenly these days and is seeking to redress the balance. It would appear that his efforts did not go well.

"Our simple choice to drink animal blood rather than human blood is enough to mark us out as those who will not fall neatly into line. We will not blindly obey him. Aro does not like that."

"Do we know who has left?" Dad asked.

"No, not yet; although Mahesh told me that Alec has not been seen for several days." I'd seen Alec before, on the field where the confrontation Eleazar had referred to had taken place. He was Jane's twin brother. "He will let me know if he has more news." Eleazar looked at each one of us, a grave expression on his face. "Disturbances in the Volturi are never a good thing; you never know what might transpire as a result."

"Are we under attack again?" Rose curled her arm around her husband.

"Not at this moment, I don't believe that we are the focus of Aro's current difficulties, but who knows the way that man thinks? I would certainly recommend that we keep alert."

"Alice?" Carlisle turned to her. "Are you willing to keep an eye on Volturi decision-making again?" She nodded.

Eleazar continued. "As I said, there is no indication that there is any animosity towards us, or anyone else who witnessed for Nessie that day. But the Volturi are unpredictable and we do not know the agenda, if any, that this rebel element has."

"Maybe they got tired of Aro's bully boy tactics and just quit." Emmett always saw things simply.

"That would be too much to hope for. I need to pass the word on, please excuse me." Eleazar disappeared back into the study.

The group dispersed. Some, Mom and Dad included, stayed to talk by the fire. Others went to their rooms. I went to mine and decided to read for a while.

The stand-off with my family had happened when I was barely four months old, and in the time that had elapsed, I had come to appreciate what exactly other people had done for me that day and the seriousness of it all. They had stood as witnesses for my continued existence and that witness had come at a price.

We had lost one of our own that day, Irina; a member of our Denali family. She had been killed when she'd provided the Volturi with incorrect information about me. She believed that I was an immortal child – a child changed into a vampire. It was against the law to create such things and she had reported my existence to the Volturi, which had been the reason for their visit, to destroy me. But I was not an immortal child. I grew, I changed and so many people had stood with my parents and my family to witness that fact. Sadly, Irina's error was at the cost of her life.

I was glad then, that Tanya had finally managed to find a mate in Brad. She had been a single vampire for a very long time, possibly over a thousand years but it's not polite to ask ladies above a certain age how old they are.

Afternoon turned into night, but outside it had been dark since early afternoon. At this time of year at this latitude, it felt permanently like evening. Around ten thirty I decided I was too tired to continue reading, pulled on my pj's and wandered back downstairs to say goodnight to everyone.

Esmé and Carlisle, Carmen and Eleazar were dancing in one corner to what sounded like a Glen Miller track. Mom and Dad were heading out to hunt with Kate and Garrett; while Jasper and Alice, Emmett and Rose had maps out, doing more planning for next year's vacation. I did the rounds of them for goodnight hugs and kisses and disappeared off to bed, but sleep was in vain. As I closed my eyes, the eyes I had seen in the aurora made their appearance behind my eyelids once again.

I slept fitfully for an hour, but the eyes would not leave me and my head would not settle. I sat up, irritated. I was tired, I was thirsty – I absolutely would need to hunt tomorrow - and I was hungry too. I'd eaten my way through the chocolate, but I knew there was something in the fridge with my name on it. Bacon!

I grabbed my mp3 player and headed out of my room. It had just gone midnight and the main area was empty. I stuck the earphones in my ears and with nobody around to watch me, I selected one of my favourite dance tracks, slid up the volume control and danced my way down the stairs.

In the kitchen I stuck the bacon under the broiler, skipped the track on to another and flung myself around the kitchen in time to the music. There was nothing better than the feeling of dancing. I knew my family loved all that twirling your partners around the dance floor stuff, and I could do that; but for me; this was where it was at. This type of dancing was what I loved!

I mimed along to the words, grabbing a wooden spoon out of the utensil holder on the counter top and pretending it was a microphone. Jess and I had done this countless times in her bedroom and we were quite the double-act. We laughingly thought of ourselves as Forks' answer to ABBA. One blonde, one brunette and our interpretation of _Dancing Queen_ was second to none!

I checked on the bacon, it needed another minute or so. I spread ketchup on the bread and managed, in my usual way, to get a dollop of it on my pyjama top. I tried to lick it off. Cyndi Lauper's _Girls Just Wanna Have Fun_ came on and I pulled out the bacon so it wouldn't burn. I danced around to the track. It one of Jess and my absolute favourites and thinking of my friend made me appreciate just how much I missed her; I couldn't _wait_ to get back to Forks!

One minute I was in girl heaven twirling around and the next I was pinned against a wall, buckling under the most hellish pain imaginable.

I gasped and grunted as I fought against it. I opened my eyes; I couldn't see, tears were swimming in them and my vision was blurred. My head was locked in position by a hand around my neck and I was looking at the ceiling. However much I tried to struggle and fight off my attacker, it was futile. The rest of me was not responding, it was like I had been paralysed. I heard a disembodied scream.

The pain was almost beyond reason and I could barely keep focus. There was only one pain that could be this bad. This was the pain of transformation. I'd been bitten. My nose gave me the scent of Brad.

Almost instantly there was shouting and pulling. Brad suddenly released me and I slumped to the floor, writhing around under the onslaught of the fire now tearing through my body. Hands grasped my head, trying to hold me still. Through the tears I recognised Carlisle and he was repeating words over and over again at me. Another set of hands ripped at the neck of my pyjama top. I tried to concentrate, to get a fix on what he was saying. Phial? Where is the phial Nessie? Where is the phial? Around my neck! I couldn't make my hand go to my neck, they hung limply exactly were they were. Time was ticking and I was converting to a full vampire. I needed that phial! Why were they not breaking the phial?

Carlisle again, he held my head and I fixed what vision I could on him.

"We can't find your phial, where is it?"

"Neck."

"It's not around your neck." Rose can't find it in your room. Where is it? Did you put it down? Did you lose it? Is it in a bag somewhere?"

Bag? Yes! It was in a bag, I remembered putting it in the pocket! Oh no! I managed to get out one word.

"Forks."

It was in the pocket of the bag containing my stage outfit that Grampa had taken back home.

"Get Edward!" Carlisle roared. "Tanya how long do we have?" There was someone else crouching down beside me now. Rosalie. She picked me up, cradling me on her lap. I writhed, bucked and grunted continually, but she held me tight, trying to do what she could to soothe the pain and panic she could see in my eyes.

"Daddy's on his way sweetheart, hold on, he'll be here." I closed my eyes, squeezing tears out from the corners of them. "I know it hurts, honey. Not much longer now. Carlisle, how long does he have?

"One minute forty two." Came the reply.

"Come on Edward, come on!" Rose held me tighter to her, lips pressed against my forehead.

Eternity passed on the floor of the kitchen. Faces came and went before my teary eyes. Grandma came and sat by Rose and stroked my hair.

"Thirty seven seconds." Anguish now in Carlisle's voice.

"Edward where are you!" Rose shouted! "Your baby needs you!"

More silence.

Sobs.

"That's it, that's three minutes fifteen. Rose, let's get her somewhere more comfortable. There's nothing more we can do."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter ****Eleven: **Ice and Stone

More eternity passed; one and three quarters of it, during which Rose and Carlisle got me up to my room. I was aware of the bed beneath me but its presence did not ease my suffering or make me any more comfortable as the unrelenting fire now spread unchecked through my veins. Rose stayed close by and I was aware of other voices but I could not identity their owners. I managed to lock eyes with her long enough to see that this was upsetting for her and I saw her bottom lip tremble. Full vampires may not be able to shed tears, but the human reaction to distress lingers all the same.

She knelt close to me and stroked my hair. "I'll be right here baby girl." She whispered, almost unable to get the words out through her sobs.

Seconds can pass as hours for vampires. We see each facet of time. What would seem instantaneous to a human can seem like glacial slowness to us. Away from humans, our world moves in much the same way that a speeded up film does; although as we're all moving at that speed, we do not notice its rapidity. Vampires are never caught unawares.

Never say never.

"Oof!" I heard Rose exclaim, but I could not see what had happened, my head was suddenly twisted away from her and the paralysis returned. Here, in my personal living hell the pain suddenly got an order of magnitude worse. My grunts turned to gurgled screams, how could this _be_ any worse? But worse than the fire it most certainly was.

Three minutes eighteen and a half seconds after I had been bitten, my Dad reached me. He sank his teeth into the bite on my neck and I could feel the clenching and releasing of his jaw as he forced his venom into my veins.

Where Brad's venom felt like fire, Dad's venom felt like ice and it hurt more than fire, more than I could possibly describe with words. I was in a bewildering amount of pain and for what? He'd gotten there too late; we knew his venom wouldn't stop the conversion at this point. But he lay beside me like a statue, keeping my head locked into position, just as I had done with Ricky, while the rest of me writhed and jerked under the pain.

From the angle he had my head at, all I could see was the corner of the room, but then Mom's face swam into view and I felt the bed give slightly as she sat down the other side of me. She didn't say anything, she just stroked my hair. What good were words at this point?

The room was mostly quiet. Apart from my own grunts and gasps, the only other sounds were the occasional muffled sob. Mom held steady above me, silently stroking my hair and Dad did not let up in his efforts to get his venom into my blood.

Imperceptibly at first and then more tangible as the seconds stretched out into a full minute, the ice began to overcome the fire.

"She's calming a little." Jasper's voice was close-by. He could sense my mood and knew that it was easing.

"She's going to be alright Carlisle?" Rose appeared by Mom, a hopeful expression on her face.

"I really don't know."

Dad still did not let up.

"She's still feeling it but the pain's dropping away." Jasper was right behind me now, commenting to the others on how I was feeling. Close to a minute later I finally managed to lie still as the pain levels dropped to what I could endure without moving and the ice began to overwhelm the fire. I was utterly, utterly exhausted. I couldn't move; not because I was paralysed but because I hadn't the strength to. My breathing quietened, changing from gasps through to weak exhalations and then with the fire out and the ice having dominance within me, I started to shiver; chilled to the bone. And then, it was over.

I felt the bed move as Dad got up; I hadn't even the strength to turn my head to look at him. Mom was looking at him though and I could tell by her face that all was not right.

"Edward? Edward? Where are you going?" She looked down at me, confused. "I'll be back in a second. Rose could you take over here?" Rose took Mom's place by my head as she went after Dad.

"Ok, Ness, let's have a look at this." I felt Carlisle's fingers on my neck examining the bite and massaging it a little. I was still shivering to my core. "Can someone get a blanket?"

"Is it healing?" Asked Rose.

"Not as quickly as we do, but yes, she's healing. The blood flow has stopped already. Ah, thank you." He put the blanket over me. "Ness?" Drawing what was left of my strength from deep within me, I turned my head slowly from the left over to the right to face him. Grandma was by his shoulder, worry etched on her face. I was still panting with exhaustion. "You're exhausted." He noted and I tried to nod, but managed only a single feeble half of one. "Ok, I think it might be better if we let you sleep for a while first and assess things after that."

"I'll stay with her," said Rose, quietly.

"Is that OK with you?" Carlisle stroked my hair and I managed to nod once, again.

"Let's get you some fresh pyjamas." Grandma smiled down at me and disappeared.

"I'll be back later when you've had a sleep and we'll look at things then." Carlisle smiled and bent to kiss my forehead. "Sleep well." He left the bed and I looked on motionless as the other members of my family came to kiss me and slowly filed out of the door.

Rose and Grandma made short work of changing my ripped nightclothes and of putting me under the quilt. I was still shivering so they put extra blankets on top of me. I managed to manoeuvre myself onto my left side and I lay there like a recumbent statue, looking blankly at Rose who was knelt by the side of the bed.

"I'll be right here if you need me." She whispered, smiling with relief. "Looks like you're going to be ok." I tried to smile back, but there was no energy to make the muscles in my face move. "You try and sleep now." I willingly obeyed. It was all I could manage to do.

I woke sometime later. "Ah!" I exclaimed weakly, wincing in pain. My exclamation brought Rose to my bed. Everything hurt; especially my neck and I couldn't lift my head off the pillow.

"What's the matter?"

"Bathroom." I mouthed.

"Ok, we'll get you there. Emmett?" A second later, Emmett appeared and with Rosalie supporting my head and him taking the rest of me, they got me upright, but I was too weak to stand and folded into my uncle's arms. He supported me while Rose scooped me up and took me down the hall to the bathroom. The blind in the bathroom was up and it was daylight outside.

"What time is it?" I whispered.

"Twenty past eleven. You've had a good long sleep. How do you feel?"

"Like I've been hit by a truck." I coughed, that wasn't a good move, pain speared its way through my body. "Oww!" I groaned.

"Can I get you anything? Coffee? Something to eat?"

"I could use some hot coffee, I'm so cold."

While I used the bathroom, Rose went downstairs. I managed to get myself upright in front of the basin and hold on to it while I examined myself in the mirror. My hair was a tragedy, but that's not what I was looking at. On the right side of my neck was a fading red bite. I ran my finger over the two semicircles where Brad's and then Dad's teeth had been; they were raised up in welts. With hair this short, there was no way I was going to be able to hide this if it didn't fade. I'd have to wear high necks and scarves for the rest of my life. Rose came back in.

"You're upright. Can you walk?"

"I think so."

"Let's get you back to bed; Carlisle will be up in five." Rose put her arm around my waist for support and we walked slowly back to my room. I looked out over the balcony down to the seating area below, but there was no sign of anyone else. Rose guided me back to bed and I slowly climbed in. She plumped the pillows behind me and handed me the steaming coffee. I took a sip and instantly spat it back out into the mug.

"Gah!"

"What?" It's fresh I just made it."

"It's revolting!" I pulled a face.

"I didn't do anything other than open the packet." I was still pulling a face; the taste in my mouth was awful.

"Could you hand me some water?" Rose handed me the glass from the bedside table and I took a large mouthful to get rid of the taste. It was all I could do not to spit that out too and I forced myself to swallow it.

"Eww! Tastes like dirt."

"Nobody's done anything to them. Hmm… that's odd." At that moment Carlisle came in, his face instantly switching from happy to concerned on seeing my repulsed expression.

"What's the matter?"

"I think we may have found something that's changed." said Rose.

"What?"

"Her tastebuds."

"Ahhh… We might have a raft of minor changes on our hands, then. That's healing well." He looked at the scar on my neck. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I picked a fight with a truck and the truck won. And I don't feel warm." Carlisle placed his hand on my forehead.

"You're four degrees cooler, virtually human temperature." My temperature usually held steady at 105F so it was no wonder I was feeling a chill if I'd dropped four degrees. He sat down on the bed. "I was having a think overnight and I don't think it's unreasonable to assume that you could be slightly more of a vampire than you were before."

Alice and Jasper came in, Alice beamed, leapt forward and landed lightly on my bed.

"It's so good to see you Nessie, you gave us such a scare there!"

"Gave _you_ a scare." I scoffed, my sarcasm levels were still intact at least. I'd had a scare alright, I would never forget the unspeakable pain I'd been in.

Alice grinned at me. "So, I'm hoping that your hair growing ability didn't get knocked out, because eternity is a very long time to be stuck with purple hair." I smiled.

"No, it's grown since yesterday." Rose reassured her sister.

"Good, let's keep that going until it's all grown out, shall we?" Only Alice could counter the vampire equivalent of a near-death experience by being more concerned about my hair.

"It's my hair Alice; I'll do what I like with it." I said raspily. "Besides, Mom likes it." Mom, where was she? I picked up on the look that passed between everyone. "Where's Mom?" I was instantly concerned. Carlisle looked at me in the way I expect he did when he had bad news to deliver to a patient.

"Nessie…" He exhaled. "Your Dad found last night _very_ hard to cope with; and… well…we're going to look after you and get to back down to Forks."

"What? They've gone?" I spoke barely audibly. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Yeah." Rosalie said, putting her hand over mine. "But you've still got all of us to fuss over you." I bit my lip, how could they go, after this? I wanted my Mom! A familiar pricking began behind my eyes and I choked down a sob.

"Oh, don't cry!" Rose gathered me to her. "I _knew_ this would happen!" She hissed. I started to sob.

"Rose, not now, please." cautioned Carlisle.

"I don't care how upset he was, he should be here for his daughter! And forcing Bella to choose between him and Ness. It's utterly selfish!"

"He was in turmoil, Rose!"

"We were _all_ in turmoil Alice, we very nearly lost her last night, but at least the rest of us don't run away when it all gets too much."

"He didn't run away." Alice snapped.

"Well _drove_ away then, very quickly! Let's not forget he's got previous on this."

"Rose." Carlisle soothed. "Could we _not _do this in front of Nessie, you're making it sound like they abandoned her."

"I'm sorry sweetheart." She rocked me and smoothed my hair. "I appreciate that your Dad's upset about what happened and let me assure you, you _haven't_ been abandoned. We're all here for you, we love you and we're going to have you fit and healthy in no time." She held me tightly and I tried to understand how upset Dad might be, really I did. But I wanted my Mommy and she wasn't here, she was with him. He'd forced her to choose and she'd chosen him over me.

Yeah, I felt abandoned all right. I allowed the kernel of anger to take root.

Once I got moving later that day, my stiffness eased a little. There were subtle differences about myself that I started to notice. Everything about me was that little bit sharper. I moved quicker, my reflexes were more responsive, my skin felt firmer and my senses were more acute. Exactly as Carlisle had suspected, those few seconds delay in Dad getting to me had meant that I was now a little bit more vampire. I treated myself to a hot bath to try and warm up a little, but it seemed that I would have to get used to my new core temperature being lower, at 101F. While none of this was very major and in many cases the improvements could be seen as a good thing; there was a major casualty that made me sad; the food and drink. I could still ingest it, but my like of it had disappeared. None of it tasted particularly good anymore and I would have to endure rather than enjoy it. I didn't want to think what my altered taste buds had done to chocolate.

Carlisle disappeared out for the afternoon and arrived back in the early evening with a box, which he brought up to my room. He sat down on the end of the bed and fixed me with a serious look.

"This is technically cheating, but I can think of no better way to get you quickly back on your feet." He pulled out a pouch of donated blood and the craving for it hit me from nowhere. "You can have half now and half tomorrow." I readily agreed; all I wanted was the blood in his hands, I craved it so badly. I moved closer to him, ignoring the protestations of my muscles, rolling on to my knees. He pulled out a pocket knife and from the box he brought a handful of straws from a fast food outlet. He speared the pouch, put the straw in and handed it to me, in much the same way as an adult might hand a child a pouch of _Capri-Sun_. I devoured it in seconds and when I'd finished, he handed me the second pouch and then a third and so on until there were eight empty pouches in a pile. I felt sloshy inside but the human blood was doing what it was supposed to and I could tangibly feel my strength returning. "You can have the rest tomorrow."

"Can I have them now?"

"No," He laughed. "Eight pints is enough."

"Please?"

"No." He chuckled again. I was wired, I was high, I was buzzing! Animal blood did an adequate job of keeping me going, but wow! The hit from the real thing was breathtaking. I couldn't keep still and ranged around the bed like a caged tiger. "I'd better get rid of these," he said, scooping up the empty pouches. "Brad won't easily cope with the scent of it."

Brad. Of course. How could I forget? How must he be feeling?

"How is Brad?"

"Full of remorse. He would like to see you when you're up to it, to apologise. Is that ok?"

I nodded. "Yes."

"Oh, and I got you this." He pulled out a bar of chocolate from his pocket and my face dropped. "What's up?"

"It's going to taste repulsive isn't it?"

"Try some and see." I peeled the foil back from the corner and took a tiny bite, rolling the little piece of chocolate around my mouth. I looked at Carlisle with sad eyes. It wasn't repulsive, but it didn't possess the glorious taste and aroma it used to have. It was flat, nondescript and life had gotten a little bit sadder. Carlisle put a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry Nessie, but at least you're still intrinsically you." I nodded, walked forward on my knees, climbed onto his lap and hugged him.

The next morning, I was banging on Carlisle and Esmé's door before six to get the other half of the human blood. Esmé left the room while I consumed it and I was soon hopping from foot to foot as the energy seeped back into my muscles again. I felt a whole lot better and more or less myself, but with subtle differences I'd have to get used to.

As I came out of Carlisle and Esmé's room, Brad and Tanya were standing at the bottom of the staircase in front of me. I walked down to meet them, Brad's eyes trained on my neck where he'd bitten me.

"Good morning Ness." Tanya greeted me. "How are you feeling today?"

"Much better thank you. Especially since Carlisle started feeding me illegal drugs." I grinned.

Tanya smiled. "As much as we would choose not to do it, it does mean that you get back to full health as soon as possible."

"Yes."

Brad spoke, haltingly. "Ness, I don't know the right words to say to begin to apologise to you about what happened. I am so deeply sorry. I guess I have a long way to go in conquering these new desires. I hope you will accept my sincere apology."

"Of course." I couldn't blame him; he was so new to our world. He was only now finding out that he'd have to cope with desires and needs that were overwhelming and alien to him.

"I.. er… Tried to apologise to your Dad, but… He left before I got it out. I understand why he's incredibly upset. I'll try him again in a few days." I refrained from telling him not to waste his time; I didn't think my Dad deserved an apology. What was it to him? Where were my concern parents anyway? Not here with their recovering daughter, that was for sure.

I went back to my room profoundly irritated with Dad and equally annoyed with both of them for not phoning to speak to me, or find out how I was. Ok, so my cell had no service here, but the house phone worked and it wasn't like they couldn't remember the number. I recalled Rosalie's comment yesterday that my Dad had previous in running away when things got bad. It was clear then; when the going got tough, Edward Cullen bailed. Some parental example he was.

I paced around for a while before deciding to get dressed and head out for some fresh air, politely declining the proffered company saying I wanted to be on my own. I headed back to the fallen tree were I'd tried to watch the aurora on Christmas Eve. I brushed the fresh snow from the trunk and sat down, looking up to drink in the clear blue sky. The sun may only make a brief appearance briefly at this time of year, but it was a beautiful morning in Denali and I had keener senses and faculties to appreciate it with. Apart from the food, the only other apparent negative consequence was my temperature drop. I hoped I would adjust to the cooler me soon or I'd be living in thermals even in the height of summer. I could do with something to warm me up right now; I could do with… Jake. He did have a use after all

His name may have come reluctantly to mind, but an image of Mom wrapped in his arms was in there instantly and I physically shook my head to get it out, it was sickening! At once I was enraged, internally seething against the three people I identified as being responsible for my current misery. Jake for being this stupid imprinted 'destiny' – no, I don't think so! Mom, no, Bella; she would no longer be Mom to me - for whatever hell thing that was with Jake and for abandoning me when I needed her the most. And for the man formerly known as Dad, I reserved my greatest venom. He was insufferable, a liar, stupidly over-protective, old-fashioned, controlling and every other thing I could hurl in his direction, But; most of all, he was a coward. Running away from what others stayed to deal with. I wanted nothing more to do with these people. Edward and Bella were supposed to love me, where were they right now? Who knew and who cared! Some example they were, I scoffed. Perhaps I would send them a belated Christmas gift, a parenting manual, underlining the bits about being there for your kids.

I wanted to get out of here, I'd had enough. I wanted to get back to reality, to the human world; where making midnight snacks didn't run you the risk of vampire attack, where people were simple, straightforward and didn't come with hundreds of tons of excess baggage. You knew where you were with humans. I remembered what I'd hissed at Jane.

"They are above you in so many ways." Absolutely! Vampires were lowlifes compared to humans. Every day in the newspaper, or on the TV there were examples of humans being heroic and putting their lives on the line to help others. Vampires were self-serving, selfish creatures; how else do you explain two of them abandoning their offspring?

Humans were so much better than vampires at everything, especially expressing emotion and certainly the emotions I was feeling right now. I pulled out my mp3 player from my pocket and selected shuffle. Simon and Garfunkel's _I am a rock_ started to play. I listened to the words; they could have been written for me.

_A winter's day  
>In a deep and dark December;<br>I am alone,  
>Gazing from my window to the streets below<br>On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.  
>I am a rock,<br>I am an island._

I would be the rock, I would be the island. If those who claimed to love me were going to let me down so spectacularly, then I would cut them off. I wasn't stupid, I wasn't without ingenuity or resources and I would take care of myself from now on. I'd do it a whole lot better than those around me had. But first, I had to get out of Denali and back to real world.

When I arrived back at the lodge I found Carlisle and announced my intention to return to Forks earlier than scheduled. This didn't appear to come as a great surprise to him.

"Esmé and I are returning to Port Hardy, would you like to come with us? We'd happily drive you back to Forks, or Charlie could come and collect you from our house." I thought about this for a while; it sounded reasonable and it saved having to wait for flights.

"I'll phone Grampa, see if he can pick me up."

I went to the study and called. He was in and readily agreed to the drive up to Port Hardy. He was strangely enthusiastic to hear that I was coming back early.

"I've missed you, Nessie; it's been quiet around here."

"Is Sue not around?"

"No, she's gone to Seattle for a few days to see Leah. Another problem."

"Ah." I heard his heavy sigh down the phone.

"I'll be there to pick you up. It'll be good to get out of town for a while. I'm starting to get a little stir crazy."

He'd be there tomorrow night and would stay over with Carlisle and Esmé before we made the drive back to Forks in the morning.

I went to my room and packed my stuff, glad to be going home and anxious to see Jess again. Being without a cell phone service had been an ordeal, but there really wasn't the option for me to give her the phone number of the lodge. Knowing Jess, she'd have been on the phone for hours and best friends with everyone by the end of the week. I couldn't risk that; she'd have wanted to meet them and I wasn't in any mood to acknowledge my vampire family.

By evening we were ready to go and I said my goodbyes. I was thankful there was no one here now who could read my thoughts, as they weren't at their most charitable. I had no particular axe to grind with any of them, but I didn't see them busting a gut to demand that My Da… Edward and Bella come back and dealt with this. They were all complicit in my abandonment and the sooner I was away from them, the better!

We left Denali and I settled in for the long drive back to Port Hardy. The quiet roads meant that Carlisle could drive at high speed throughout the night while I managed to get a few hours sleep, stretched out in the back of the Mercedes. As I had recently had blood, I didn't need to eat, so Carlisle kept going all the way to Vancouver, where we took the ferry across to Nanaimo on Vancouver Island. Once on the Island it was a few hours up the coast to Port Hardy.

It was approaching 8 o'clock at night when we finally pulled into the drive of Carlisle and Esmé's house. I'd been dozing again and Grandma roused me to tell me that we'd arrived. I yawned and flung open the car door getting a blast of cold, sea air. I hauled myself out, I still wasn't back to my best yet, but my strength was gradually returning. I pulled up and stretched out, yawning again.

"Jake, how lovely to see you!" Esmé's greeting of the last person I expected to see, cut me off mid-yawn. "We were expecting Charlie." I dove back into the car, ostensibly to get my stuff but in reality, hiding from Jake.

"Yeah, he couldn't come and to be honest, we've had some activity that I need to discuss with you."

"Yes? Well, there is something you need to know that might possibly explain it." Carlisle popped the trunk while Esmé unlocked the front door.

"Can I give you a lift with the bags?"

"Sure! Ness?" Carlisle queried. "Are you half asleep in there? Jake's here." I rolled my eyes and climbed back out of the car again.

"Hi." I made the briefest of eye contact with Jake.

"Hi. Did you have a good Christmas?"

"It was eventful." Sighed Carlisle answering for me. "Let's get these in and I'll tell you." I followed him and Jake into the house.

Esmé was nothing if not consistent and their Port Hardy house was furnished in much the same way as the house in Forks was. It was very familiar; clean lines, light colours, open space and modern, smart furniture. She bustled about, opening the house back up again after their absence. I wandered into the kitchen after her, not knowing where to put myself - other than not wanting to be in the same room as Jake.

She turned me around by my shoulders. "Go and talk to Jake honey, I'm just making some coffee for him." I wrinkled my nose and trooped back into the living room. Jake and Carlisle were sitting on the sofas. I glanced at Jake and I could see by the look on his face that he'd noticed my neck.

"What is that?" He stood up. "That looks like a bite."

"It is a bite." replied Carlisle. "She was bitten by Tanya's new husband."

"The phial worked then?" Jake smiled.

"Well it would have, if Nessie hadn't left it in Forks."

"She did? That was a bit dumb, Ness." Jake snickered. "Still, Edward was there, right?"

"Not quite."

"What?" Jake's voice registered instant concern. "You mean he didn't get there in time?"

"They were out hunting; he didn't know that she didn't have the phial. He came back as fast as he could, but he got there three and a half seconds after the three fifteen. He swamped her system with venom and thankfully it stopped it."

"And she's ok?" Jake's eyes searched me intensely, I glared back.

"She's mostly fine, but she's a little changed, she's slightly more vampire now."

"What's changed?"

"I haven't managed to make a full assessment yet. Ness? What's changed for you?"

"My senses are sharper. My skin feels firmer and food tastes different. I'm sure there are more."

"Her core temperature has dropped by four degrees." Added Carlisle.

"Yeah and that." I added.

"Nothing vital then?" Jake's brow was furrowed.

"Nothing at the moment, but, as I said, I haven't had the opportunity to make a complete assessment." I knew what they were referring to. In Carlisle's case it was purely medical curiosity. In Jakes? I didn't want to think about why he might be interested, it turned my stomach.

Grandma brought coffee in for Jake and sat down next to Carlisle. I sat in a chair by the window flicking through an interiors magazine I'd picked up from the stack beside me.

"So, you've had some activity on the peninsula?" Asked Carlisle. "More than usual?"

"Not more than usual, it's still only occasional. But one over Christmas was in Forks itself, which _is_ the unusual thing and this one didn't come in on foot, either. This was someone in a car and very specifically going through the town."

"Any focus on Charlie's house?"

"A little, yes. It looks like the presence of another vampire was noted. Whoever it was spent time at Ness's friends' house and at the school; obviously they picked up on her scent at those locations. We will step up the patrols, of course."

"Thank you, we appreciate that."

"Have Edward and Bella gone back to Massachusetts?"

"I can't honestly tell you Jake. The incident with Nessie hit Edward very hard, he left immediately afterwards. Bella went with him and Alice doesn't know where they are, which suggests he doesn't want anyone to know."

"So he doesn't know she's ok?"

"I've left several messages on his phone. He'll know if he picks them up."

"They haven't phoned Ness?"

"No." Carlisle sighed and I looked up to see Jake looking incredulous. "I know. Far be it from me to criticize Edward, but I think he's got some explaining to do."

"You think?" I scoffed. "Grandma, I'd like to go to bed now. Could you tell me which room I'm in, please?"

"Sure, I'll come up with you."

"What time do you want to set off tomorrow, Jake?" I might as well be polite and businesslike.

"'Bout eight thirty?"

"OK; I'll see you all tomorrow. Night."

Carlisle and Jake said goodnight to me and I followed Grandma upstairs. She grabbed towels from the linen store and switched the lights on in one of the rooms. We didn't need them, but we did what we could to be as human as possible.

"Thanks."

"It's a little early for you to go to bed, isn't it?"

"I'm tired."

"Ok." She smiled and kissed my cheek. "Don't be too hard on your parents. If I know your Dad he'll be back in touch soon. I think this might have brought some things back from the past a little too vividly for him. Please give him a chance to explain."

I nodded noncommittally, we would see about that. But I didn't want to upset Grandma; she'd done what she could to be a Mom replacement.

I got into bed and read for a while. I could hear Carlisle downstairs relaying the news about the Volturi. The packs would be extra alert from now on, Jake assured him. Great, just what I needed, a big band of jittery werewolves getting in my face on every hunt.

Just after ten, I heard Jake going to one of the other rooms and fixed my eye on the door, just in case he should think it a good idea to come check on me. He didn't. I read for little longer and the flicked out the light.

I kept things civil on the drive back, I had several hours holed up in a cab with this guy and it wouldn't be good for my sanity to make things worse. To be fair to Jake, he had been recently usurped in my list of 'People to Avoid', by the two new entrants at #1 and #2. As long as he didn't try to talk about 'us', then I could get through the time we had to spend together just fine.

At first our conversation was stilted, but as it didn't stray from talking about neutral topics it gradually began to flow more easily. We talked about how the business was going and the new arrival in the Uley family. Emily had given birth to a girl called Jennifer in days before Christmas. The baby had been late and the delivery had not been as easy as her other births. Sam was taking the strain of looking after the boys and his new daughter, while Emily recovered her strength.

There were long periods of silence between us but they didn't feel awkward. I was happy enough to look out of the window at the Vancouver Island scenery flashing past us - Jake was not the only person who could floor it when he wanted to. The only awkward moment came when he tried to talk about the incident in Denali.

"I appreciate that you're upset about what happened, but I wouldn't be too hard on your parents, I…"

"I _don't _want to talk about them."

"Nessie, your Dad…"

"I _don't _want to talk about it!" My eyes, flashing with anger seemed to get the message through that I was not budging on this.

"Gotta talk to them sometime." He muttered.

"Wanna bet?" I muttered back, too low for him to hear me.

After disembarking from the ferry at Port Angeles it was less than an hour to Forks and we arrived back in a downpour. It did not feel like the week between Christmas and New Year, it felt like any other regular dismal day. The decorations and celebratory exhortations in windows, felt out of place and almost wrong. Events had stolen any Christmas spirit I'd had. All I wanted was to get back to the normality of life - school, friends, band. Those were the only things I was interested in. The rest; vampires, werewolves and irritating former parents; were not part of my life. I was Vanessa Masen pure and simple. Hmm… Perhaps I should change my name, get rid of that bit of him too? No, that was intrinsic to my new identity, I couldn't.

We turned into the street and Grampa was unloading bags out of the trunk of Sue's car. Pulling up outside the house I was out of the truck's cab and over to him like a shot, desperate to reconnect with the one family adult who I wasn't keeping at arms length. I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed.

"Ow! Nessie,that hurt!"

"Sorry!" I forgot that I was stronger now. "I'm just so glad to be back."

"I'm glad to have you back." His eyes were sad and tense. He dropped his voice. "We've got a bit of a problem."

"What?" I mirrored his whisper. He pulled out the last two holdalls from the trunk and closed it. Jake walked over with my own luggage.

"Hi Jake, thanks for bringing Nessie back."

"It's a pleasure Charlie. What's up?"

"Leah's here." Grampa's glum face said it all. Leah was an unwelcome house guest at the best of times.

"For New Year?" I asked.

"No, for good."

"Why?" I asked.

"She's pregnant."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter ****Twelve: **Fisherman's Blues

If there was one thing that Susie and Brian Taylor could do better than their children, it was throw a party. They had invited a houseful of people round to see in the New Year. From our vantage point on the stairs, Jess and I were having lots of fun watching old people get really drunk. Sue had opted to stay at home with Leah, but Grampa had not needed much of a push out the door. He wanted to get out for the evening as the Swan-Clearwater house was a depressing place these days. I watched him now, my sniggers turning to a full-on laugh when he was nominated for the karaoke with, of all people, Lynda Scott, Ricky's mom.

"Uh oh; embarrassing parent alert!" Said Jess, spying him too.

I watched from between my fingers, almost crying with laughter as Charlie Swan, the Forks Chief of Police and my secret real-life Grampa sang Elton John and Kiki Dee's duet _Don't go breaking my heart_, with Lynda. It was excruciatingly funny and the biggest laugh I'd had in an awful long time. I don't think he'd have sung at all if he hadn't been quite so drunk, something I wasn't going to let him forget. However, the consequences of him getting drunk with Lynda would never be quite as serious as me getting drunk with her son.

It was a happy night and as I guided my wobbly grandparent home in the early hours of New Year's Day, I felt so thankful for Susie and Brian, who had made the pair of us feel so much at home there. I hadn't wanted to leave. More significantly, Charlie had been relaxed from the moment he'd walked through the door; a far cry from the tension I knew would be back in his eyes and his shoulders before long. Living with Sue and Leah was turning out to be harder than it looked.

Leah was sleeping on the sofa and her stuff was stashed in bags and boxes around the place, making the small, two-bed roomed house feel even smaller. She'd turned the bathroom into a beauty counter with make up and potions littering every surface there was. Sue had gone into mother-hen overdrive as she fussed and organised the next seven months. Leah's baby was due in mid-July and by early January, I was already sick to death of baby stuff.

School restarted and I was almost thankful for the boredom of Mr Newton's classes because at least it meant I wasn't at home. School, however, brought other unwelcome things. Boys.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single girl in possession of enhanced good looks must be in want of a boyfriend. I mused on this modified first line of _Pride and Prejudice_ as I batted away the attentions of the third boy in a week. Apparently I had not emerged as unscathed from the Brad incident as I'd thought, and now found myself a walking boy magnet.

"Do I look different?" I asked of Jess on Wednesday afternoon, as we hung out in her bedroom after school.

She looked at me. "I was going to say as much. Yes, you do. Since you came back after Christmas you look different… sexier. I was watching you walk across the cafeteria yesterday and it was like watching a lion prowling around. And your eyes are incredible!" I laughed it off, but realised that the secret bit of me that I had previously only displayed on stage or flashed at unsuspecting restaurant hosts; was now visible for all to see. I couldn't turn it off now and that was what they were all reacting to.

On Jess's dressing table was a new bottle of perfume, which looked exactly the same size as the box that Randall had given her for Christmas. I thought this was as good a time as any to ask whether there had been further communication from dumpster man. Her face immediately formed a wry grin.

"We're emailing or speaking pretty much every day now. I'm hoping we can meet up soon."

"Will you go to Seattle?"

"As he comes over to Port Angeles a lot, I might suggest meeting up there, before The Shed opens one night. Perhaps go for dinner?"

"Sounds like a good idea. But you've not said anything to him about it yet?"

She shook her head. "No. I'm still plucking up the courage. He's incredibly flirty though, so I'm hoping I'm reading him right. I hope I've not got this catastrophically wrong, find out that he's gay and just wants a girl to go shopping with."

"He doesn't look it."

"They don't have 'gay' written on their heads Ness. Sometimes it's hard to tell."

"So the age thing doesn't bother you?"

"Eight years? No."

"But if he's not gay he… might want different things to you." She'd know what I was getting at.

"Oh he's not getting _that_!" she shook her head adamantly.

"I'm glad to hear it!"

My cell rang and I fished it out of my pocket and glanced at the caller ID. It was Mom. I pressed the red key and let my answerphone pick it up. I'd delete the message later. It was the third time she'd called this week and I wasn't going to speak to her, I'd made my decision.

"Who was that?" Jess asked.

"Oh, nobody important." I replied and pushed the phone back into my pocket.

When I arrived home that evening, Grampa was out; spending the evening down at the reservation with Billy; he did that a lot these days. There was no sign of Leah either and Sue was just finishing up on the phone, having caught someone up on her new grandparent-to-be status. She was quite pink-cheeked and giggly but I didn't linger long enough to say much more than hi, before I disappeared off to my room to complete homework. I was sure it was only a matter of time before she commented again that I might like to spend more time at my parent's cottage. No chance! Like I wanted to be reminded of those two?

We had another gig at The Shed for the end of January and Jess decided that it would be the perfect opportunity to meet up with Randall beforehand. I sat next to her that Friday night as we composed the email to him, making sure that it was casually friendly but not coming on too strong. He replied within ten minutes with bad news – he couldn't make it, he was away that weekend. However, he would like to get together with her and asked if she was free to meet up in Port Angeles the weekend before. Of _course_ Jess was free – even if she hadn't have been, she'd have made herself free. There was only the slight matter of getting there and back. She looked at me with pleading eyes.

"Please will you take me?"

I rolled my eyes and smirked. "Of course. And pick you up?"

"Oh God no! I'll get a cab."

"Jess…" I cautioned. I wasn't the granddaughter of a Police Chief for nothing. That sounded a stupidly dangerous thing for a girl to do.

"Ok, I'll ask if anyone else is going to the Shed and get a lift home. Happy?"

"Better. Firm it up and tell me how you're getting home. I _will _come and get you if you get stuck."

She grinned. "Perhaps Randall can bring me home." Her eyes were twinkling.

"If he has a car, that is."

"Ooh, good point! I hadn't asked."

Jess replied to Randall saying that the Saturday was fine and, at my suggestion offered to meet him somewhere public, in a coffee place in central Port Angeles. Jess was sensible… usually. Back came the reply a few minutes later and she had a date. If Jess could have bounced off the ceiling, she would have. I was pleased for her. Finally, she might break free of this idiotic fixation on vampires.

"And you?" She suddenly said.

"And what?"

"Ricky's ancient history and you're fighting them off with a stick at the moment. Any of them take your fancy?" She eyed me suggestively.

I scoffed "No!"

"Not even Todd?" Todd Myers was in twelfth grade and among the female population, agreed to be the best looking guy in school.

"No, not even Todd."

"Pity. I saw him looking at you yesterday."

"Plenty of people look at me."

"Not in the way Todd was. Trust me girly-girl, he'll be making a move soon enough."

"Aren't you forgetting Cally? His girlfriend?"

She's a dog next to you."

"Jess! That is not nice." But once again, Jess made me laugh with her choice of words.

"Well she is! I'm only telling it like it is. Anyway, there's one of these God-awful girl's choice dance things coming up soon. I bet he asks you to that."

"I hope not. Will you go if you're asked?"

"Absolutely not, I'd rather stick pins in my eyes. If it was just a regular club night I'd go to that; but all that mushy slow-dancing stuff? Leave me out."

"Bet you'd slow-dance if Randall asked you." I grinned at her.

"Well, yeah, that's different. But the chances of getting him anywhere near the school gym, are zero. Holding a dance in the school gym - it's all a bit _Grease_ isn't it?" We laughed.

Being Friday, I didn't go straight home, I needed to hunt. For some strange reason I found myself heading north out of Forks and saw the turning for the Cullen house. I took it; parking there would be as sensible as anything.

It was pitch dark and the opportunity to be off the public road allowed me to switch off the car lights and use the much better night vision I naturally possessed. I drove down the track and parked up by the garage, stepping out of the car into a strange silence. I was used to this place being the focus of our lives and with nine of us living here or using it as a base, it was never silent. But it was now and it was eerie. Somehow, it being empty and the grass unkempt looked wrong. But I wasn't here to dwell on my family, I had a job to do; I had some animals to hunt. I switched off my phone, sank into a crouch and ran into the forest.

Starting from the house put me in familiar territory and I ran eastwards, soon picking up the scent of elk and following it as it strengthened. I was closing in on the herd when movement on my left alerted me to the presence of something else. I turned and looked; it was a wolf running adjacent to me, closing in. They only approached me if they needed to speak, so I slowed to a stop. Out of the trees came a familiar brown wolf, Jared; the new alpha of Sam's pack. He phased into his human form.

"Good evening Ness." Jared was more formal in his address than Sam would have been.

"Jared."

"I'm sorry to interrupt your hunt, but I have information for you."

"That's ok."

"We've picked up another vampire in the area for the last two nights, in the south but moving northward. I wanted to let you know that we have it under control."

"Thank you."

"Our patrols are pretty much constant. Have you heard anything more of what has transpired with the Volturi?"

I shook my head. "No, nobody's said anything to me. I'm sure if it's important, they will."

"Of course. I would be grateful to know if there is any more information that we need to know."

"I'll be sure to pass it on." Movement to the side alerted me to the presence of another wolf, one of the younger pack members, Collin. Collin was Jacob's cousin; his Mom was Billy's younger sister. I acknowledged him. "Collin." I said, nodding once, the reddish wolf nodded once in return.

"We will let you return to your hunt, now."

"Thank you." Jared phased and he and Collin slunk back into the depths of the forest. I carried on in the direction of the elk.

Suitably satiated, I returned home and into another night of bickering between Charlie and Sue. Shutting the front door behind me I saw Leah in the living room. She had her feet up on the coffee table watching a movie. Charlie and Sue were in the kitchen, they stopped their exchange when I came in, a little pointless as I could hear them halfway down the street. Both of them were flushed from the disagreement.

"Hey Ness. You um… all done?" Grampa rarely verbalised what I was doing out there on a Friday night.

"Yeah, I'm gonna head on up now."

"Your Mom called earlier. Said she was having difficulty getting hold of you. She wondered if everything was ok?"

"Yeah, it's fine. I must have missed her call. My cell's getting a little unreliable."

"Call her tomorrow, she's worried about you."

"I will." I wouldn't.

"Ok, you sleep well sweetheart." He held out his arm. I walked over and he kissed me on the forehead. "See you in the morning."

"Night."

I climbed the stairs and as I reached the top, the argument started again. I sighed; it would be a long night.

Arguing couples were not something I'd ever experienced before and the atmosphere unsettled me. Sure the four couples who made up the Cullen family had occasional exchanges, but nothing that lasted very long; a few minutes at most. This house though, was like living in sniper alley. It wasn't just the difficulty of having an extra person here that we didn't have room for; it seemed to be more than that. It seemed to be everything. These days there was barely a civil word between Charlie and Sue.

I tried to block it out by trying to think of something good. It was tough; there wasn't a great deal of good to be thought about, other than the developments between Jess and Randall. My head pulled out the memory of the aurora and those eyes that had obscured my view. I brought them to mind again; trying to fit them to anyone I knew; but they remained frustratingly unplaceable. The memory of the snow and of previous aurora was beautiful though and I focused on that, instead of what I could hear below.

Jess took up permanent residence on Planet Randall which she inhabited at the expense of time spent on Planet Alric. This I was pleased about, as it meant we were finally leaving the stupendously boring subject of vampires behind us. I listened with amusement as Jess now rattled on about every tiny bit of information she knew about him. She was almost counting the minutes until they met in Port Angeles in little over a week's time. In addition to the rattling on, there was the bouncing about and the out of character behaviour; namely, the day she turned up to school having ditched her customary black clothing and eyeliner… for colour.

Even I stared at her, as she walked across the parking lot from her Mom's car. It was Jess, but not as I knew her. It was Jess in a fitted checked shirt, in jeans, blue jeans; I didn't know she even owned a pair. It was Jess wearing minimal make-up and a very, very hesitant smile.

"Do I look ok?" She asked. Perhaps I was staring too much, from the shock of her.

"Yes! You look amazing!" Released from their heavy black circles, her eyes sparkled in the morning sun. Her beautiful clear skin glowed - why she felt the need to cover up such an amazing feature, I couldn't fathom. She radiated a soft femininity in place of the tough gothic vampire obsessive. Did she have any idea at all how good she looked? I was curious. "What's with the change?" As if I didn't know.

"Randall…" Of course, who else? "… Asked me if my wardrobe was entirely black clothing? I said I had other things and he said he'd like to see me wearing something other than black."

"And you changed for him?" I smirked. "Jess, doesn't that fly in the face of forty years of feminism?" Not to mention her own 'I'll dress how the hell I like', way of living.

Jess looked uncomfortable, she pulled a face. "Yeah, but..."

"Yeah, but what?" I pressed; a wry smile on my face.

She blushed. "I like him. I _really_ like him. I want him to like me."

"Jess you barely know him!" I laughed.

"I _know_, but I don't want to be the scary Goth anymore, I want him to see other facets of me. Mum said I have really pretty eyes when I don't cake them in black eyeliner."

Pretty? Jess's eyes were not just pretty. Randall would be very lucky indeed to escape their intense gravitational pull.

It was like the first day of school all over again, with everyone staring at Jess. Davey was the highlight though, he was gawping at her so much that he walked into a bank of lockers. That'd serve him right for uploading me to YouTube! Interestingly, Jess without the protective layer of black clothing and eyeliner took a little while to get her confidence. It was as if wearing the colour made her more exposed, more vulnerable to people. However, by lunchtime she was telling Emilie Peterson exactly what she thought of her and the normal Jess was back.

When I got home that afternoon, Leah was in the kitchen; giving me a look that suggested that I'd be more welcome in hell. She'd finally started eating properly again after feeling nauseous for the last three months and was making up for lost time. Her secret ability to change into a wolf meant that she was naturally toned and slightly muscular, so her stomach was still as flat as it ever was; the baby yet to make itself visually known. Given her difficulties with alcohol she was under close supervision at the hospital. To give her her dues, she was putting this baby first and working hard not to lapse back to her former ways. Sadly, that did not extend to her mood, which was as unwelcoming and challenging as always. She hated me for even existing, I got that message loud and clear.

Today, however, she had reason to speak to me.

"Jake called. There's been more vampire activity around the town." She wasn't on active patrol with the others anymore, but they still kept her in the loop.

"Oh, ok. Thanks."

"He wondered if you might drop by this afternoon. I think he'd like you to take a sniff, see if it's anyone you know."

"I'll drop by, later." As much as I didn't want to engage with it, the wolves still took vampire incursions into the area deadly seriously.

"And there's a package for you." She pointed to a padded bag on the kitchen table. I grabbed it and went upstairs, tearing it open as I went. The address had been generated onto a label, but the post mark told me that this was from Massachusetts. Only one of two people this could be from.

Inside was a familiar small square box, but there was no note. I opened the box; it needed no explanation. It was a silver version of the pendant that hung around my neck, now I had one to match every outfit. Now there was no reason to not wear one at all times. I guess somewhere in all that turmoil, my head must have yielded the reason why I hadn't been wearing the original. No note? Not exactly desperate to get in touch with me are you Edward…? I scoffed.

That night, as I arrived for band practice, I realised that I still hadn't contacted Jake. I went round to the front of the garage, but it was all locked up. I cast a glance into Fredericks; no, he wasn't there either. As I turned back to the garage, a shiny blue Volkswagen Rabbit coasted up to me, the driver blasted his horn and I turned to see Dan at the wheel of the car. He'd passed his driver's test! I grinned and Jess, in the passenger seat rolled down the window.

"Like my car?"

"Your car?"

"Yep!"

"You're sharing one with Dan?"

"No, he can't decide what he wants yet, but I wanted the same as you."

I was flattered that Jess would want to copy me.

We piled through the door into the rehearsal space. Ricky was predictably locking lips with Chrissy and Naomi was hanging around Zak batting her eyelashes at him. Jake was here. I guess this matter was important enough for him to intrude into my world. He walked over to me; I might as well get this over with.

"Jake." I greeted him casually.

"Ness." His eyes were serious. "May I have a word, please?"

"Of course." We went back outside and I headed a little way away from the building.

There was an uneasy expression on his face. "How've you been? Are you recovered now?"

"As much as I'll ever be, I guess."

"Carlisle managed to work out the full extent of it yet?"

"I've been too busy to get back there."

"Ness, you should take care of yourself."

"Sure, sure." My response using his familiar brush-off brought an amused smile to his face. I couldn't help but reciprocate. I snickered. I'd spent six years hanging around him; his mannerisms were bound to rub off.

"Ok, I'll get out of your face." He grinned. "I wanted to say that we've had another visitor. This time it was just in the north east of the town, the Forest Road area. I guess that as you have friends there you wouldn't like us to keep that information to ourselves. You might want to check it out for yourself before the scent fades; see if it's anyone you know. We can't ignore the possibility that someone may be using your friends to get to you."

I nodded. "Thanks, I will." He was right to tell me. I may not want anything to do with my vampire family, but I sure as hell wasn't going to allow anyone to get to Jess and Dan as a way of getting to me. Any former Volturi on my patch would find my friends defended. I would not ignore this. "Do you have any more information? Entrance and exit routes?"

"From the north east, from Port Angeles. We'll step up patrols in that area."

"Thanks."

"Hey, er… I spoke to your Mom over the weekend. It's none of my business, but…"

"You're right; it is none of your business." I cut him off.

"Ness they're worried about you."

"Really? Tough."

Jake exhaled, his brow creased deeply. A frustrated, almost sad look crossed his face. "You've changed alright," he said softly, "and I'm not sure it's for the better." He turned and walked away into the forest. It must be his turn to be on patrol tonight.

"Yeah, whatever." I muttered and went back inside slightly riled.

"What did he want?" Asked Jess.

"Nothing, just some news he was passing on; family stuff."

"He's not my type but he's incredibly good-looking, if you like guys who work out." I glared at her; I didn't want to talk about him. "Aaand… I can see that you don't, ok I'll drop it. Scary eyes alert."

"Sorry." I shook my head.

"Ness?" She rubbed my arm. "It's not like you to come over all defensive. What's up?"

"Nothing."

"Don't give me that bollocks, there is; I can see it."

"Just… stuff." I couldn't tell her about the vampire activity in her neighbourhood, she'd be out there every night trying to trap them and keep them in her bedroom as a pet.

"You girls ready?" Called Dan

"Yeah, just a minute." shouted Jess. "Talk to me, I know bereavement's shit but it doesn't help to bottle it up." I smiled at her and nodded.

"I will."

"Good, now smile will you, you look miserable these days."

"Thanks Jess!" I laughed.

Jess held her hands out. "I'm just telling you like it is, you've got a face like a slapped arse, girl." I snorted and Jess linked her arm through mine as we strolled over to the guys.

I'd left it too late. By the time I made it to the Taylor's house around midnight that night, the heavy rain had washed away any scent that had been there and I couldn't pick up anything unfamiliar. The house was in darkness and being here covertly was an unsettling reminder of who I really was. Despite all her love of vampires, would my best friend really be ok if she discovered what I really was? Fictional vampires were one thing, coming face to face with the reality of them, was quite another. I wasn't going to risk our friendship in Jess ever finding out.

On the appointed Saturday, I drove Jess into Port Angeles to meet up with Randall; she said nothing the entire way there. She was nervous and that was playing havoc with my increased sensitivity to human blood. Jess wasn't meeting Randall until three, but she wanted to some time to herself beforehand, to relax and to shop.

"And you're getting a ride home with Steve and Mike?"

She looked at me, eyebrows raised. "Yes Mom." She parodied in a fake American accent, a grin split her face.

"I worry about you."

"I know, but you don't need to. I'll be fine." She got out of the car.

"Have a good day!" I called. "Say hi to Randall for me and let me know when you get home!"

"I will. Bye!"

"Bye!"

Jess slammed the door and I watched for a moment as she hurried off into the shopping precinct. I'd offered to come with her but she'd batted me away at every turn. I'd have to trust that she'd be ok and that this Randall was a decent guy.

I returned home. The house was quiet. Leah was out, down at the reservation but I could hear Sue upstairs in the bedroom, she was laughing and talking quietly to someone on the phone. She asked them to hang on and she came out of her room.

"Ness? Is that you?"

"Yeah."

"Ok." She went back into her room and finished up her call. I could hear everything that was said anywhere in this house - even the merest whisper - and this conversation was clearly not for my ears. It didn't take a genius though to work out that she was griping about Grampa and didn't want take a chance in it getting back to him through me.

I ranged about all day, restless and worried about Jess, wondering whether she was ok. Eleven o'clock came and went; eleven thirty, eleven forty five and then midnight. Jess didn't text and I was all for getting in the car and going to look for her when finally, at three minutes past midnight, my phone beeped and I snatched it up.

Just got back, all safe! J xxx

I collapsed back onto the bed, relieved. Hey, she hadn't said how her day was. I texted back, asking her how it had gone. A minute later back came her reply.

Good thanks

"Is that it?" I said out loud. She'd better fill me in at school. I guessed Randall hadn't lived up to expectations. What a shame. I hoped this didn't mean a return spell on planet Alric.

Grampa dropped something in the bathroom early on Sunday morning, which pulled me from sleep earlier than I'd have liked. I got up; there were things I could be getting on with. I came out of my room just as Grampa was leaving the bathroom. He looked drawn and tired.

"Hey. You're up early." I nodded and yawned. "Don't suppose you'd like to keep me company fishing this morning?" I thought about that and nodded. It would be good to hang out with him for a while; we got such little opportunity to talk these days.

"Yeah, that'd be good."

"Ok, well I'm leaving in ten; think you can be ready in that time?" I smiled cheekily and he rolled his eyes. "Ok, I get it. You can be ready in less time than it takes for me to walk across to the bedroom. I'll see you in a bit."

We walked about a quarter of a mile through the cold, dark morning, to a place on the banks of the Sol Duc where the water was deep and relatively quiet. I was more familiar with the upper stretches of the river where the rapids were; I'd rarely come this far downstream, precisely because it was popular with those who fished. In a spot that had been used many, many times before, Grampa stopped and started to set up his fishing gear; putting up a little pop-up shelter, to insulate him from the cold that he was bundled up against. I felt permanently cold these days, still not having adjusted to my new temperature. The sky, although still dark, was relatively clear and the stars were beginning to fade as the sun prepared to lift its head over the horizon. The peace and quiet here was almost deafening and I could see in his face that this was where he felt happiest; his face had relaxed; it wasn't something I saw very often at home.

He cast his first line of the day and I settled down on a mat beside him. I'd brought books and a notepad to work on some songs, but for the moment I was just content to watch the river flow and enjoy the silence. Grampa never felt the need to talk just for the sake of it and right now I appreciated that. Being around him was like getting instant thinking space. In all the difficulties of the last few weeks he'd been my rock; although he was the least durable of our family.

I pulled out lyrics to work on, I could see perfectly well in the dark, something that made Grampa chuckle.

"Just when I start to think I made it all up and you're a regular girl, you go and do something that proves to me you're not."

"Does it bother you?" I went to close my pad I could work on them when it was light.

"No, no, don't stop. It's fine, really. I don't have any problem with it."

I wrote for a few minutes and the silence descended between us again; Grampa concentrated on his fishing.

"Your… Bella." He corrected himself; we were in public, technically. "called me the other day. You didn't tell me what happened at Christmas."

"It's not important."

"_That's_ not important?" There was incredulity in his voice. "Bella doesn't see it that way and she told me you haven't called her or… Edward since." He had to remind himself to say their names. "She thinks you're avoiding them. Ness, why would you do that?"

"I don't have anything to say."

"Not even hello? How are you? Excuse me, I'm a Police Officer and that sounds to me, Miss Masen, like someone's in denial. Do you need to talk to someone about it?"

I looked at him, questioning. "Exactly how would I explain _that _to a psychiatrist?"

"Well, obviously not a regular psychiatrist; but, you know, if you can't talk to your family, is there someone else from your…" he fumbled for the right word "world that could help you? Do they have… people you can go talk to?"

I snickered. "Not really." Vampire psychiatrists, now there was a new one.

"And you can't even talk to Carlisle? Bella told me that you're supposed to be fixing up to go see him to get checked out. I've not heard you mention that."

"I haven't got around to it yet."

"Well get around to it. We all love you and we want to know that you're ok." He looked at me with stern eyes. What was he, the family go-between now?

He sighed deeply. "In the middle of the crap that I'm in, it would be nice to know that at least one side of my life is ok. Sort things out with Bella and Edward please, there's enough bad stuff flying about without this." He flicked his line back into the water again. Grampa rarely mentioned anything about how he was feeling, for him to acknowledge it to someone, it must be bad.

"I will and I'm sorry things are so bad at the moment."

"Yeah, well, that's not your fault. Kinda think me and Sue have come to the end of the road." I rubbed his arm. He exhaled loudly. "Another one bites the dust." He looked down at me. "Here's me asking you to fix things with your… Bella and Edward, and I can't even fix things with Sue."

"I'm sure you'll find a way."

He pulled a face. "Honestly, Ness? I don't think I want to. I just… Don't know how to end it."

I dropped my voice. "Want me to eat her?" We grinned at each other.

"Tempting; but no thanks. That creates too much paperwork." His eyes twinkled with the wicked grin on his face. He shook his head and laughed. "I can't believe I just said that."

"Neither can I."

He sighed again. "At least Renee had the good sense to leave, make a clean break. You've never met her, have you?" I shook my head. Grampa's ex wife, Bella's Mom didn't know that her daughter was a vampire, or that she had a granddaughter. She was not part of our world, as Bella wasn't confident of her Mom's ability to handle it. "May be that will be easier, now you're grown and not changing every minute of the day, it would be easy to use this 'being a relative of Edward's' guise. She'd love the purple hair, that's very Renee." The comment startled me, but it shouldn't. I was biologically related to her after all, why wouldn't her traits be represented in me?

"Do you think she'd like me?" I was suddenly curious about her.

"Sure! Is there anyone who doesn't like you?"

"Leah?"

"Leah doesn't like anyone, I wouldn't take that personally."

"I thought she'd be happier, now that she's pregnant, but she's still the same old moody cow."

"Moody cow?" Grampa laughed. "Don't tell me, another of Jess's phrases?"

I nodded. "Yep, straight from Jess Taylor's book of '_Put-down's for Every Occasion_.'"

"I like Jess, I like her a lot. She's weird – and that's saying something around here – but she's friendly and an immensely likeable, happy person. Is she still obsessed with vampires?"

"Not as much. I think; if yesterday went as planned, that she has a boyfriend now. Hopefully she'll obsess over him."

"And she has no clue that what she's obsessed with is closer, or more real than she thinks?"

I shook my head "I don't think so. I've not been asked if she can meet my family."

"I'd like to see her expression if that ever happened."

"I wouldn't. I'd never hear the end of it."

"Jess is exactly the type of person that this planet needs more of. And I could do with a happy chatty person in my life right now." He gave me a knowing look. "You used to be that person. Where's she gone?" I shrugged. "Sort it out, Ness. Life's too short." I chuckled and he rolled his eyes at his faux pas. "You know what I mean."

"I do."

Grampa flicked his line back into the water and sighed, sadly.

"_My_ life's too short."

A stab of pain pieced my heart and I inched closer to him, ducking under his elbow. I wouldn't have him forever and I needed to make the most of all the time I had with him. Eternity would be a very long time without Grampa so I the meantime, I would model myself on the perennially happy Jess.

But Jess was not her usual ebullient self on Monday morning. When Dan arrived he said she was running late and she squeaked in beside me, just as our English lesson started. She paid full attention to Mr Hodson and never once distracted me - which was a distraction in itself because Jess always distracted me and I desperately wanted to know about Saturday! I could barely contain myself as class ended.

"So? What was he like?" I was the one literally bouncing about now.

Jess looked at me and then bit her lip, an apprehensive smile spreading across her face. It widened and finally spread up to her eyes which twinkled with excitement.

"Amazing." She whispered. Exhaling as if she'd kept something bottled up for weeks. "I've never met _anybody _like him." She laughed nervously.

"What's he like? Tell me!"

Jess shook her head with bewilderment. "I really can't describe him."

"Jess!" She was never stuck for words, but somehow Randall had achieved the impossible. "Is he funny?"

She looked a little taken aback. "Funny ha ha, or funny weird?"

"Either."

"Neither. He's… deep and profound and…" She flailed her arms about looking for a word that would not come. "I dunno, he's…" She waved her arms around again.

"Clearly a superhero if he's rendered you speechless." I grinned at her and she smirked. "You're seeing him again then?" We walked to our next class through the throngs of other students crossing between buildings.

She nodded. "Mmhmm…" She looked at me with a familiar dreaminess, but I caught the glimpse of something as her eyes turned away.

There was something she wasn't telling me.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter ****Thirteen: **Valentine

Jess was weird. There were times I felt like jabbing her in the ribs just to see if she was still alive. She'd gone from talking a mile a minute, to sitting for ages in complete silence. What I wouldn't give to have Edward's talent right now and work out what was going on in that head of hers. Not that it was too difficult to work that out; she was clearly living on Planet Randall.

Although they couldn't see each other that much, there wasn't a day that went by that she didn't acknowledge, in the few words she did say to me, that he'd emailed her or they'd spent the previous evening on the phone together. Frustratingly, she shared very little of what he said, although it wasn't for lack of asking on my part. Compared to the free-spirited, bolshy, black-clad, vampire-loving Goth I met in September; the Jess sat before me now in the cafeteria was an alien creature. I didn't know what kind of 1950s ideology Randall was filling her head with, but it would not have surprised me if she'd have pulled a copy of _Martha Stewart Living_ out of her bag as essential reading. I decided that if she did, I would intervene.

Jess was slightly more communicative if the subject stayed off Randall, so we talked about everything but him – which suited me just fine as it meant I didn't have to sit in silence over lunch. I was getting resentful of Randall taking away my best friend. Jess had been so all-consuming that I'd never gotten around to making any other good friends. Sure, I know the other girls in my grade, but there weren't any of them that I particularly wanted to spend time with, the way I had with Jess. Chrissy was still with Ricky, Naomi had finally hooked up with Zak and Dan was still single, although always buried in song writing. Dan didn't seem interested in anyone, which both saddened and cheered Sadie she told me one day. He didn't want her, but thankfully, he didn't want anyone else either and she could cope with that. Sadie away from the hideous laugh was lovely, and with the small gap opening up between Jess and myself, I found myself spending more time talking to her.

The cold January had a sting in its tail and we very nearly found ourselves stranded in Port Angeles after our gig at The Shed; when a sudden snowstorm hit and covered everything in several of inches of snow. I couldn't help noticing that the snowflakes falling on my bare arm didn't melt as fast as they used to. My enhanced eyesight, now even better than it originally had been, could see their fragile beauty in minute detail. I took a moment to appreciate it. The snow set off a remembrance of Christmas; the beauty of the Denali landscape and the crystal clear blue sky; the aurora and those still un-named eyes. Then my head went and spoiled it by dredging up the bits I really didn't want to be reminded of; the unbearable pain and whatever the hell that thing was with Edward and Bella. Resentment and anger flared within me and the all the nice bits of my time there burned away like paper on fire. It renewed my resolve to keep away from them. Bella could call me all she liked, she could call Charlie and Jake all she liked too; but I wouldn't be speaking to her. She had forfeited any right to know anything I was doing when she chose to be with him over staying when I'd needed her the most. And that stubborn trait I got from her, so she'd just have to suck it up.

We were loading our equipment back into the van and I was being thwarted in my attempts to help, by several well-meaning members of the audience; who thought amplifiers were too heavy for a girl to carry and insisted on taking them from me. I watched them struggle with them, far more than I ever would. Jess looked on, sniggering into her cupped palm, sweater pulled around her hand. I gave up trying to do anything and went to stand with her.

She elbowed me gently. "You've got fans." She grinned.

I rolled my eyes. "Don't, it's embarrassing."

"It's funny! They're falling over themselves to help you."

I snickered and we watched together as each one tried to outdo the others in helpfulness, glancing my way to see if I was taking note of their heroics. Even Ricky was smirking at it all, although I noticed that Chrissy appeared to have lot her sense of humour. For some reason she was glaring at me.

Things got worse. The girl's choice dance was scheduled for Saturday February 13th and the theme was, predictably, Valentines Day. I soon found out why Chrissy had taken a sudden dislike to me when Ricky asked me to the dance.

"Isn't Chrissy going?"

He shook his head. "No, it's her Grandfather's seventieth birthday that weekend, she's going over to Spokane."

"Oh."

"So, will you go with me?"

I pulled a face. "I wasn't going to go."

"Why not?"

"Not really my thing." It reminded me far too much of… certain people.

"Ok. Well, if you change your mind…"

"Then I'll give you a call."

Ricky may have been the first to ask me, but he certainly wasn't the last and Jess was right; even Todd Myers sidled up to me one day while I was in the line for food. By that time, after being asked by seven boys, I was ready to bite the head off the next one who asked, so Todd got the 'no I'm not going' message loud and clear. I had other plans. Jess and I had decided to have a girl's night in and I was going on my first sleepover.

Jess had given up her bed for me; she would be sleeping on an air mattress on the floor. Right now though we were reclining against a bank of pillows on her bed, watching a film. A non-vampire film. We were watching _You've Got Mail_ and next on the list was _Sleepless in Seattle_, both of which I'd seen before and both of which fulfilled Jess's desire to watch endless romantic comedies. Alric and Christianne remained on the shelf. She'd been over to Port Angeles for the day the previous Saturday to see him again and during the week she was welded to her phone in case he should call or text or email. He probably didn't know it, but Randall was having quite an affect on Jess. I realised that she still hadn't mentioned his last name.

"What's his last name?"

"Who, this guy?" Jess pointed to the screen.

"No, Randall."

"Randall is his last name."

"Oh. What's his first name then?"

She smiled. "He won't tell me, says it's too embarrassing. He's just Randall."

"Enigmatic." I smirked. "Have you guessed what it might be?"

"Oh yes, endlessly, but he refuses to tell me."

"Perhaps he will in time, it's early days."

"I just hope that if he does, I don't laugh. I'm having visions of something really scary, like Jehosophat or Eleazar."

"I know someone called Eleazar."

"Haha! Do you?"

"Yeah, he was a… friend of my parents."

"Was he really old?"

"Positively ancient, nearly seven hundred." Jess laughed. She'd never know I was telling the truth.

"You don't hear names like that now; people call their kids after daft things like sports brands and wine. Or just make 'em up. There's this one woman, a minor celebrity in the UK and she took her Mum's name and her Mother in Law's name and mashed them together. Poor kid was saddled with the most ridiculous name. Tiaame or something equally bonkers." My own real name Renesmee was derived in exactly the same way, from Bella's Mom Renee and Edward's adopted Mom, Esmé. I kept quiet about that.

Later, as I took a quick glance at Jess, I noticed she wasn't watching the movie; she was playing with a stray thread on a cushion. She looked back up briefly at the screen and her eyes were full of uncertainty.

"What's the matter?" I asked and she looked at me startled, pulled from her reverie.

"Oh erm… Nothing." She smiled apprehensively.

"You look worried about something."

Jess put on a false smile. "No, no, I'm not. I was just thinking about something."

"Randall?" That was a pretty safe bet.

"Mmhmm." There was no smirking this time, just more apprehension.

"Is something the matter? Are you looking to break up with him?"

"No. It's just…" Jess ran her hand through her long blonde hair, scraping it back off her face and grasping it into a ponytail behind her head. Several seconds passed before she spoke again. She fixed me with a more relaxed look. "It's nothing." She smiled and then gave an involuntary yawn. The first movie was finishing, perhaps watching two would be too much. Perhaps I could sit through some _Vampire Nights_.

"Shall we watch an episode of V-N instead of the film? You look tired." Jess twitched, pulled a face and then shook her head.

"Nah. I think… I'm a little bit vampired out."

"What?" I scoffed. "Are you going off the show?"

Jess wrinkled her nose. "Possibly, yes."

"Wow."

"I know." She shrugged her shoulders. "I can almost quote the whole thing verbatim; which, I guess, means that I should give it a rest. Strange but true eh?"

"Yeah!" Jess looked at me sadly. "What's the matter?" She opened her mouth to speak and then thought better of it.

"Nothing. It doesn't matter." There it was again, that uncertainty in her eyes.

"Jess, this is not like you, there _is_ something the matter."

Jess shook her head and smiled. "There's nothing the matter, believe me, it's all good. It's just…" She closed her eyes for a moment. "Randall is very… special. I'm having a hard time getting my head around him."

"Jess if he's in any way weird you should ditch him."

"He's not weird!" She snapped. "He's… Very different to the lads I've been out with before."

"The age difference?"

"It's partly that, yes. He's done so much in his life, that I feel like… I might not be exciting enough for him." Her phone beeped with a text message. She picked it up from the bedside table and checked it. A wide grin split her face.

"Randall?"

She nodded. "He hopes we're having a good time and he's missing me."

I smiled back at her. "He seems to think you're exciting enough for him, he wouldn't be sending you random texts if he wasn't interested in you." Jess was texting her reply.

"I think I'm still a bit gobsmacked that he'd be interested in me at all." This was not like Jess, unsure of herself and hesitant.

"Jess he's just a guy. Who is he, the King of England?"

She shook her head. "Oh Nessie…" She shook her head, clearly hopelessly in love with him.

I snickered. "You've got it bad, girl." She nodded. "So I take it the fictional vampire is history?"

"The fictional vampire is history." She grinned.

The next morning Susie Taylor had made us the biggest English breakfast I'd ever seen. It was a shame my altered taste buds were not quite as receptive to human food these days. I had to force down what I could giving up three quarters of the way through. Dan almost vacuumed his plate clean and Jess too tucked in with relish.

"Not hungry?" Susie asked.

I shook my head. "I'm not really a breakfast person." I replied, plucking a random excuse out of the air.

"I know what you mean. I'm not usually, but there's nothing like a cooked breakfast on a Sunday morning." There was a knock at the door and Susie, already on her feet went to answer it. She returned with a bouquet of flowers wrapped in magenta cellophane and a glossy black box, tied with a magenta ribbon. She put them down in front of Jess. "For you." Jess's eyeballs nearly popped out of her head and she stared at the flowers and the box in disbelief. She said nothing, which irritated Susie intensely as she was desperate to know who they were from. "Well open them!" Did Susie and Brian know about Randall? Jess was holding her breath as she reached forward and gently unclipped the card from the cellophane. She opened it carefully and pulled out the card from the little envelope. I could see what was written on the card. A line written in stylised gothic calligraphy.

I waited all my life for you, sweet girl.

A barely audible "Oh my God," escaped Jess's lips.

"What does it say?" Susie snatched the card from her daughter; Jess's eyes remained fixed where the card had been, she didn't move. Susie's eyebrows shot up. "Stevie Nicks lyrics?" She turned it over. "There's no name on it, do you know who it's from? Jess?" Jess was catatonic. "Jess?" Susie tried again to get her daughter's attention.

"Yes."

"Yes, what?"

"Yes I know who it's from." Jess was quiet and the colour had drained from her face.

"Judging by that expression, not someone you like very much." Susie surmised. Jess flicked a look at me, eyes filled with worry.

"What's the matter?" I mouthed at her.

"Later." She mouthed back.

"Open the box then!" Susie enthused. "I want to know who this boy is who quotes Stevie Nicks and sends you gorgeous flowers. Oh these colours are amazing, so vibrant!"

"If they are quoting Stevie Nicks what makes you so convinced they're from a bloke, Mum?" Dan drawled. "The only people I know who quote Stevie Nicks are slightly deranged fortysomethings."

"Aye, less of the cheek. If Jess has got a girlfriend then that's fine by me. At least one of you has got a girlfriend."

"I got a valentine's card." Dan shoe-horned an enormous forkful of food into his mouth.

"You did? When did that arrive?" Asked Susie

"It was propped up on the side when I came down." He could barely speak his mouth was so full.

"Oh yes, a girl dropped by last night with it. Sorry, forgot to mention that."

"Brian!" Susie was indignant. "How do you forget important things like that? Well, what did she look like?"

"I don't know, she had her hood up. Small, high voice."

"Sadie." I replied, she wasn't giving up then.

"Oh great." Dan rolled his eyes. "You had me hoping there for a while." I snickered.

Susie turned her attention back to her daughter.

"So are they from a girl, Jess?" Jess shook her head. "They're from a boy, then?"

"Ness needs to go Mum." Jess shut down her Mom's line of questioning; got up, scooped up the flowers and the box and left the table. I followed her back upstairs.

Once safely behind the closed door of her room, Jess carefully put the flowers and the box on her desk.

"Are they from him?" I asked. Jess nodded. "They're very beautiful flowers." She smiled weakly. "What's the matter?" Crystal clear blue eyes, heavy with anguish looked back at me.

"He likes me."

"Of _course _he does Jess! What's wrong with that?" I laughed. She could be so bizarre sometimes. Jess pulling her hair over her right shoulder and ran her hands through it, pacing around the room as she did so. "Jess?" She wasn't happy. "Talk to me!" I was getting worried now.

She stared at the box on the desk. "I think I'm in too deep. I'm not sure… I'm not sure I'm ready for this. He's…" Jess's hand flew to her mouth and under her closed lashes I saw the bloom of tears. "Oh God Ness, I don't know what to do!" I went to her and put my arms around her, rubbing her back.

"What _is it_? Why have you gone from completely mad about him to this? Is he treating you badly? Is he expecting things of you that you don't want to do?"

"No, nothing like that, he's wonderful, an absolute gentleman and absolutely incredible. That's the problem! He's so… overwhelming! Ness!" she grabbed me by my shoulders, looking at me through tears of clear joy. "It's like God hand-built the perfect bloke and stuck him in The Shed for me to find. I can't believe he's real, I can't believe he's not going to disappear in a puff of smoke if I allow myself to hope that he'll stick around. And I can't believe he's interested in _me_, of all people." I looked at her with an amused grin on my face, reached over, picked up the gift box and gave it to her.

"Open it."

Jess took it from me, untied the ribbon and eased off the lid. She gasped. Nestling on a black velvet pad was a silver necklace set with two pink stones. I could see the identifying refraction clearly enough to know that they were pink sapphires. "You don't give a casual girlfriend a gift like that Jess. He's sticking around."

"I hope so. Oh but Ness, if I could only tell you…"

"How wonderful he is? How much you're in love? Yeah, I'm getting it." I grinned at her as she lifted the sparkling jewels out of the box.

The wind and rain were intense but I could still hear the argument clearly from the car as I pulled up in front of Charlie and Sue's house. I sighed; I didn't want to spend the rest of Sunday in a war zone but there was nowhere else I could go. The Taylors were going out, my frequent bolt-hole the Black's house down on the reservation was a no-go area and sitting in the forest in this weather did not appeal. I just wanted somewhere quiet that I could hunker down for a few hours and ride out the rain.

The solution occurred to me reluctantly, but it was my only option. The cottage, I could go the cottage. It may be Bella and Edward's, but it had been my home too for the first six years of my life and it would be perfect. Quiet, comfortable, dry and out of way; exactly what I wanted. I'd need the key though and it was in my bedroom. Did I flash in and out of the house using my vampire speed or do it at human speed? Human speed, I decided. Charlie and Sue needed to see who else they were affecting in all this.

I closed the door behind me and was confronted by a scene I did not expect. There were a not insignificant pile of cards on the kitchen table, the top one addressed to me. Behind them stood or lay five bouquets of flowers. Off to the side there was another bunch of flowers and another card. The writing on that one said 'Sue', but that wasn't Grampa's handwriting. Grampa was leaning against the kitchen table; Sue was stood over by the sink and you could cut the tension in here with a knife. Grampa swept the pile of cards towards me.

"These are for you, as are these." He indicated to the five bouquets. I looked at the pile in horror. He noticed. "I thought girls liked Valentine's Day?"

"I don't know who any of them would be from."

"Grampa scoffed. "That's the whole point, Ness."

I collected up the bundle of cards and the flowers, trudging off up to my room with them. Three came in their own water; one was wrapped in paper and the final bunch were a small, hand-tied bundle of snowdrops. They needed water for sure. I grabbed a vase and filled it in the bathroom, putting the flowers in as they were. There was no note attached to them but out of the five bunches they were the ones that appealed to me the most. They weren't the showy, store-bought blooms of the other arrangements, they were just the lovely wild flowers that Jake and I… Jake. They were from Jake. I knew it. I lifted the vase up to my nose and smelled the ribbon holding them together. Yes, that was his scent. A small smile turned up the corners of my mouth, how typically Jake. The rest were out to impress me but he knew what I liked, what would catch my attention the most. I rifled through the cards but could not find his writing or his scent on any of the envelopes. I picked up the scents of Ricky, Todd, Davey, a few others from my Grade and a bunch of scents I couldn't identify, but there wasn't one from Jake.

I looked back at Jake's flowers. I didn't feel animosity towards him for this. I was, strangely… touched and was that a twinge of disappointment that there wasn't a card from him? Where was the righteous indignation I'd felt a few months back when I'd recoiled at the whole imprinting thing? I'd lashed out at Thanksgiving and he had backed right off, giving me space. Now, having had time, a scary experience in Denali and a bust up with Edward and Bella, the proffered olive branch from Jake was… dare I admit it to myself, welcome. The flowers were free, I owed him no expensive gift in return; it was just a simple gesture of the way he must feel about me, of feelings I could not return. The flowers said 'I'm here' and I was fine with that. I placed his flowers on the windowsill, perhaps he'd see them there and it would give him hope that I didn't hate him; but right now, I couldn't give him more than that.

I placed the wrapped flowers in a jug of water but didn't touch the pile of cards, instead, grabbing a large silver key off a hook as I left.

"I'm going out, back later." I said to Grampa as I passed the kitchen entrance. He nodded but said nothing and I ducked out the door, back into the wind and the rain.

From the Cullen house, the cottage was only a few minutes run, but I was soaked by the time I reached the small, stone building in the forest glade. There was an air of gentle neglect about the place, it now being six months since we had attended to it. The climbing roses needed a prune and the plants in the pots could do with some attention. It would have to wait for another day, gardening in driving wind and rain was not what I was here for.

I fitted the large key into the lock and turned it, it moved easily still and as I pushed open the door I was hit by scents of both familiarity and dormancy. The heavy door thunked closed behind me. Among the scent of dust and stone, there were the faintly lingering scents of the three of us. This was a happy, contented house; there was not a single bad memory here. Why had I not come sooner to this place? Of anywhere, this was a sanctuary from the world and I would use this as my sanctuary from now on. When things got too much and I just wanted out, I would come here, be safe and more importantly feel safe. Off all the unpleasantness that had transpired between Edward, Bella and I over the last few months; this place held none of that. Here I had been loved and even the walls radiated that love back out at me.

A happy image from last summer sprang into my head. Bella sat on Edward's lap on the sofa and me, seeing them and running over to tuck myself under Edward's arm. I'd slid one of my arms around him and had put my head on his right shoulder, putting my other arm around Bella, who was nestled up against his left shoulder. I'd hugged them both. There was the remembrance of Da… Edward's kiss on my head. That had been just before they'd gone off for a few days break over their wedding anniversary; back when things were good between the three of us, back when I didn't know what I knew now. Would we ever see those days again? Part of me suddenly longed for them, missing them desperately and an ache started within me. But abandonment tapped me on the shoulder and the reality of them having left when I needed them the most crashed back in; exchanging the happy sunny memory of the cottage for the dark unrelenting pain of Denali.

I shook myself back to the here and now and walked around the cottage bringing it to life. Flicking on the power and the water; filling the coffee maker and setting it going. I pulled off my wet jacket and hung it up walking down the hall to Edward and Bella's room to where I knew I could get a change for my wet jeans. I opened the door to their room and the lingering scent of them assaulted me, causing me actual pain. The room was bare of their things and the furniture had been covered over with dust sheets, but this still felt very much their space. Another happy memory of coming in here first thing in the morning to say hello tried to play in my head, but I blocked it. I walked over to the closet door and pulled it open. Everything that remained of our things was stored in here. I unlaced my boots, peeled off my wet jeans, opened a drawer, found a pair of Bella's yoga pants and put them on, grabbing a pair of her ballet pumps at the same time. Yoga pants were exactly the sort of thing I needed for today's activity.

I went back into the bedroom, pulled the dust sheet off their bed before bringing out a quilt, a stack of pillows and creating a little quilt-y nest for myself against the headboard.

I wandered over to the windows. Through the gauze of the curtains I could see the rain being lashed against the glass and running in never ending rivulets down the pane. The wind was trying its best to blow the house down, but it wouldn't get its way; this cottage was as solid as solid could be. I was safe in here, this was my personal space now and there were only two more elements needed to make my day perfect.

I went back down into the living area and over to the bookcase, scanning each shelf in turn and intending to pick out one or two books to read. I'd read most of these over the last six years but some of them I hadn't read since I was a baby, it would be good to re-read those. I picked out Bella's absolutely decimated copy of _Wuthering Heights_; her favourite book and it showed. But I wasn't in a _Wuthering Heights_ sort of a mood. I wanted something that would take more than five minutes to read, something epic - I was in the mood for something epic. I pulled out one I hadn't seen before _The_ _Pillars of the Earth_ and read the back of it. Cathedral building in twelfth century England; that would be nicely removed from squabbling parental-types in twenty first century America. It was a good thick book, over one thousand pages long and if I read slowly, I could make that last all afternoon.

I poured myself a large mug of coffee and padded back down to their bedroom with the book tucked under my arm. I placed the book and coffee on Edward's bedside table, kicked off my shoes and climbed onto the big white bed and into nest I'd made. I draped the quilt around me and made myself extraordinarily comfortable. When the rain and wind were doing battle outside and your life wasn't going exactly the way you'd planned, there really was no finer thing, than to shut yourself away from it with a hot cup of coffee and a good book in your hand. I'd stay right here forever if they'd let me. It was probably some indication of just how relaxed I was and how unknowingly tired I was; that within an hour I'd fallen asleep.

It was someone knocking on the door that woke me up. I was instantly bolt upright, every facet of me alert for danger. The knocking came again and I sprang off the bed and was by the front door in an instant. I listened and through the noise of the rain from the other side of the front door, came the familiar sound of wolves, gently breathing. I relaxed and opened the door.

Jake stood there in his human form, dressed in soaking wet cut-off black denims. Behind him were Seth and Quil in wolf form, their coats sopping wet and dripping with the relentless rain.

"Come in." I stood back to let them in but Jake shook his head.

"We're ok, thank you." Jake was formal and his expression was one of concern.

"What's the matter?"

"We've had more activity in the north east of Forks overnight and this morning we picked up a fresh trail and followed it in. We caught up with the vampire that's been in that area. "

"Oh, ok. Good. You took care of it?"

"No, that's the problem, she pleaded for mercy and demanded to speak to you, said you were the only one who could help her."

"She?" I hadn't a clue who it could be. A vampire, pleading for _my_ help? This I had to see. "Where is she?"

Jake looked over to his left and gestured with his head to someone out of sight. Embry padded into view, closely guarding a small bedraggled figure who walked in front of him. Hair plastered to her head, wet jeans and a filthy red t-shirt clung to the tiny body of someone able to strike fear into the heart of any vampire who knew what this girl was capable of. "Jane!" I gasped. She looked at me, eyes wide with desperation and dropped immediately to her knees. Her fingers clawed into the dirt as if she was holding on to the ground for dear life. She lifted her head and looked up at me, fixing me with the gaze of a girl on the edge.

"Miss Cullen, Renesmee. You're the only one I can turn to, the only one who will understand what I'm going through. I'm begging you… _please_ help me."

I looked up at Jake. Surely he saw the panic in my eyes? I couldn't form the words in my mouth, I was too shocked and frankly terrified; but I hoped he knew me well enough to know when I was silently screaming for help. But Jake offered me no assistance with this.

"We need to know how you want to proceed. This is your call."

225


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter ****Fourteen: **Hopelessly Devoted

I pulled out items from the storage bags that held clothes from when I was smaller, as Jane got herself clean in the shower. I didn't know why I'd said yes, but I had; even though I still didn't have any idea of why I was the only one that could help her. I'd had to promise Jake that I would be responsible for her for the duration and she could only stay here if she promised to only hunt animals. If there was any _hint_ of a vampire-related human death, the packs would hunt her down and destroy her. Jane vowed to adhere to the policy; her eyes were already the tell-tale deep orange of a recent switch to our 'vegetarian' lifestyle. She had started living this way of her own volition.

Washed, dry and dressed in my old clothes, she sat down on the sofa in the living area.

"Thank you."

"It's the least I could do." I said; my hands cupped around another hot mug of coffee. "What brings you here?"

"I have left the Volturi."

"May I ask why?"

Jane sighed. "A thousand different reasons, but in essence; it comes down to one thing. I want more than to take orders from Aro for the rest of my existence."

"And I'm the only one who can help you with that?"

"You're the one who opened my eyes to how things could be."

"I didn't do anything."

"Not in so many words, but you gave me a glimpse of a life where you have friends. I don't have any friends." Jane looked like she were about to cry. "I've been alone for so long; nobody has _ever_ invited me to go hunting with them, let alone to get coffee before. I know I can't but… That invitation, it meant so much. You have that, you have those invitations, those friends. You have a family, people who care about you. I have _no-one_." She closed her eyes. "I'm so lonely!" When she opened them again, I could see a thousand years worth of pain looking back at me.

"The rebellion was as good a reason as any to leave. I could duck out without having to explain myself. Aro would never understand. He has a mate but… With Aro it's all about the control, the power and being above humans in every regard. I don't know how Sulpicia stands him."

"Sulpicia?"

"His mate. Your family have long fascinated Aro and me, too; although for different reasons. I'm intrigued by what it's like to live as a family; he feels threatened by you. You don't need him, you police yourselves and you draw others to your life and keep them by attraction, not by force."

"Being a family is not the easiest of things at times." I admitted, thinking of my present difficulties.

"But they care about you. If anything happened to you, they would fight to the death to save you."

I scoffed with derision. "I'd like to think that; these days, I'm not so sure."

"Your parents would."

I laughed a hollow laugh. "They're too wrapped up in themselves to notice." Jane's brow furrowed. "I'm not speaking to them right now."

"Why not?"

"Long story. They pissed me off and weren't there when I really needed them. Like I said, being a family is not the easiest thing at times. Sometimes you want to smack them around the head with a baseball bat." I considered that. "Nah… waste of a good baseball bat."

"But they love you."

"I'm sure they do, but they have an odd way of showing it sometimes."

"Nevertheless, I'd still like a little of what you have. I've been alone a long time."

"How long?"

"Over twelve hundred years."

"No shit!" That didn't quite come out as eloquently as it could have, but it conveyed the shock I felt at how old she actually was.

"Eternally frozen in the body of a fourteen year old." Her voice was sad, regretful. "I didn't even get to womanhood. I'm a child; no man is going to find me attractive. Not that it doesn't stop me fruitlessly longing that one will; Someday."

I could see her point, she was still very much a young teen, she didn't have the curves Jess and I had, being physically three years older than her. "Although…" She looked at me ruefully and sighed. "I have to admit I have an ulterior motive in coming to you."

"Oh?"

She looked sheepish. "I can't get Dan out of my head."

My eyebrows flew up, remembering Dan's inexplicable attraction to Jane. "Oh!"

"I know it's completely and utterly foolish and there's nothing more insane, but I can't stop thinking about him. I've thought of no one else since last November. When I left the Volturi, I wandered around for a while, hoping I could forget him, but I can't. I feel drawn to him, I feel like he's pulling me in like a giant magnet." My mind was having trouble equating the formerly imperious member of the Volturi with the lovesick teenager now sat on the sofa. "I've been watching him sleep at night…."

"Oh my God!" I jumped up, the horror of the danger Dan was in assaulted me.

Jane's hands flew up to reassure me. "It's ok, it's ok! I've been vegetarian since the day I left the Volturi. I knew that if I was to stand any chance, any chance _at all_, I had to try your alternate lifestyle. I'm managing, I haven't lapsed once; can't you see my eyes?"

"Yes, but you can't be vegetarian and instantly safe around humans! _I'm_ not safe around humans if I let myself get compromised. Not one of us truly is, with the exception of Carlisle and possibly my Mo… Bella. Jasper still struggles, even after fifty years. Jane, you're never _safe_!"

"But he's so beautiful!" She wailed. "I can't keep away from him!" She dropped her head into her hands, her shoulders shook and dry sobs escaped her. The vampire that had been prowling around Forks was obsessed with my friend. How ironic that I had finally witnessed the waning of Jess's obsession with vampires and now I had a vampire with an obsession with Dan. What a mess! "I thought, maybe that as Edward had been in the same situation, he might be able to help me."

"I'm not speaking to him. Besides, he'd have set up a two hundred mile exclusion zone around Dan, until he was absolutely convinced you could control yourself."

"But he managed it. He managed to date a human, It must be possible, although I know it wasn't always easy. The whole showing up wanting to die thing he did was weird, but…"

"What? He did what? He showed up wanting to _die_?" What was that about?

"Yes, a few years ago. He thought Bella was dead and he couldn't live without her. It was so amazingly romantic, although I couldn't admit it to anyone at the time. And then Bella showed up and she wanted to die in his place to save his soul. True love! Oh, to have that…" Jane drifted into silence and I recognised the vacant expression on her face as the same one Jess had when she was away on one of her planets.

"Bleurgh! Sounds nauseating." I murmured.

Jane was incredulous. "They are your _parents_, if they didn't love each other _you_ wouldn't be here. You very nearly weren't that day. Aro was all for killing your Mom and getting Edward and Alice to join us… I mean join the Volturi. Don't you love anyone with an all-consuming passion the way they love each other?"

I wrinkled my nose in distaste. "No, thankfully _not_!"

"But you can love can't you? Humans can love; vampires can love, so surely a mix of the two should be able to love." I didn't like what she was insinuating.

"I can _love_, "I snapped. "I just haven't… found anybody to love yet. I am only six after all. Maybe it will come later." I felt unsettled, she'd touched a nerve. There was still that unresolved business over Jake and the broken connection that possibly, if I dare admit it to myself, was causing me more than a little concern as the months went by and I wasn't getting the whole 'head-over-heels in love' feeling with anyone.

"I'm sure there's somebody out there for you, just as sure as I am that Dan is the one for me."

"Oh… no… no!" I shook my head. "No, you can't just show up and pledge undying love to Dan, he doesn't even know you; he's barely spoken to you."

"But I love him! I'm convinced of it! I've spent every night for the past few weeks watching him sleep." Jane's face was almost rapturous.

"That's not getting to know someone, that's just… weird, that's stalking. Who the hell watches someone sleep for crying out loud!"

Jane dropped her head. "He has the most incredible blue eyes that I could drown in."

"I hadn't noticed. And you can't drown."

"I know that." Jane rubbed her neck, embarrassed. "I..uh…Hang off the roof and peek through the bathroom window when he takes a shower."

"Aargh!"

"I'm not looking at his eyes when he showers." She giggled.

"Ewww!" I recoiled and then an involuntary laugh burst through my lips as the bizarreness of the situation struck me. Jane, one of the most feared members of the vampire world was helpless in the face of Dan. Dan, the guy who thought vampires were the most boring creatures on the face of the planet. Dan who could barely lift his nose out of song writing to look where he was going and…oh God… Dan, the guy who had _wanted_ an introduction to Jane and then said she was _pretty_. '_Houston, we have a problem…_' I was going to have to work hard to keep these two apart. I didn't want Dan falling for a vampire.

"I can't help it," Jane breathed, almost gasping for air she didn't need. "I'm in love with Daniel Taylor. You've got to help me."

"Help you do what?"

"Help me find a way for him to notice me."

"Jane I…" I pinched the bridge of my nose, the way my Da…Edward did when he was stressed. I looked at her, this tiny girl; physically no more than a child, but over one thousand two hundred years old and deeply feared by legions of vampires throughout the centuries. All she wanted was nothing more than any other teenage girl would want at her age - for a boy to notice her. Was this a wise thing to be encouraging? I tried again. "Jane…I… I really don't know if I should be supporting a relationship between a vampire and human. Doesn't that kinda fly in the face of what you've been doing for the past twelve hundred years? I thought you didn't want humans finding out about us?"

Jane sighed and bit her lip. "I know." She said sadly. "This is where the whole secrecy thing falls apart. I never found a vampire I liked. But Dan? It was like… seeing an Angel."

I scoffed. "Dan's no Angel."

"Oh I don't know." She smiled, wryly. "He's an angel to me. Besides," She said more confidently. "You are the product of a relationship between a vampire and a human, it worked out for them, there's no reason why it can't work out for me."

"I'm sure it wasn't that straightforward. And, the one who was a human isn't human anymore, it came at a price."

"Oh she wanted to be a vampire; Aro told me that it was Edward who wouldn't change her."

"Really?"

"You don't know?"

I furrowed my brow. "No. We've never talked about it. I'm starting to realise that there's a lot I don't know about Edward and Bella. Just because I'm their daughter doesn't make me privy to all their secrets - or _any_ secrets in fact. I wasn't born with Edward's gift."

"I wish he were here now, I'd love to get inside Dan's head. And his…"

My hands flew up in defence. "Woah! Just. Stop. There!" I considered things for a moment, trying to weigh up the options. "Are you serious about this?"

"Deadly."

"That's the wrong word to use."

"Desperately, then."

"Ok. Then you do it _my_ way and we go real slow, ok? We're doing it gradually, we're doing it properly and we're doing it exactly like any other teenage girl would do it. So no freaky stuff. No watching him sleep and certainly no hanging off the roof, ogling his butt."

"Ok, no butt ogling. I agree to that, but can we negotiate on the sleep thing, please? How about three times a week?"

"No."

"Twice?"

I narrowed my eyes. "Ok, you can go twice a week, on set nights, because I'll need to let the packs know where you are. There are to be no variations. Is that a deal?"

"That's a deal."

"Ok." I exhaled heavily. "In the meantime, I guess this place is as good as any for you to live. You can have my room. I'll make up the bed."

"Thank you Renesmee."

"It's Ness. Just call me Ness."

"Ok Ness. Ness? Could I call you my friend?" She said it so hesitantly and with what she'd told me, I knew how much this would mean to her.

"Yes, you can call me a friend."

"Thank you!" Jane's face broke out into something I'd never seen before, a radiant, glorious smile. And Dan was right, she was pretty.

She was also deadly dangerous - to him, to me and to anyone who crossed her. I just hoped that Dan didn't get a girlfriend in the meantime, or I'm sure Jane would go from sweet ingénue to vampire-bitch-from-hell in a nanosecond.

Jake and Billy had come over to watch baseball with Grampa when I returned home. There was no sign of Sue or Leah; I assumed they'd gone out. Jake wandered into the kitchen as I poured myself some coffee.

"You look worried." He said.

I nodded. "Not entirely sure I've done the right thing."

"The vampire girl?" I nodded again.

"Jane. She's left the Volturi."

"That's Jane?"

"Yeah."

"I thought a Cullen would be the last person she'd come to for help."

"You would think, but I score over everyone else for one notable reason. She has a thing for my friend Dan. She's been in his room watching him sleep, how weird is that? And it gets worse."

"Watching him sleep, huh? You think that's weird?"

"Yeah." Was Jake thick? "What idiot wants to sit around watching absolutely nothing happen?"

"Oh I don't know, Edward?"

I stared at him. "You're not serious?"

Jake grinned at me. "Oh yes I am, pretty much every night."

I put my hands up defensively. They were overshadowing my life in far too many ways.

"I don't want to know anything else about them or what they did."

"Ness, give them a break."

"No! Anyway, we're not talking about them, we're talking about Jane. I've said she can stay at the cottage. She wants to go and watch Dan sleep twice a week. I've agreed with her she can do Tuesday and Friday night. She's not to be at their house any other time and if you see her anywhere _near _the bathroom window, you are to take her out, those are _my_ orders."

"The bathroom window?" Jake smirked.

"Don't ask."

"I can guess. The little minx." He laughed. "How old is she, fourteen?"

"Twelve hundred and fourteen more like."

"No! Really?"

"Apparently so. You'd better tell the packs, let them know she's staying. I'm really not sure what to do, but given my family history it would be a little hypocritical of me to ban her from making friends with Dan. I just hope I can stop her throwing herself at him. She needs to take this slowly, _very_ slowly."

"Good advice, get to know someone first before you start dating."

"I'm not sure I want it to get to that part. How do you introduce a vampire to your parents?"

"I think from experience, you don't tell them and if they're smart they sort of figure it out for themselves, eventually."

We both laughed. "That's Grampa, I suspect there might usually be more screaming and running away involved."

"I think you could be right there. I'll have some of that coffee if you're pouring, Ness."

There was an ease between Jake and I as we stood in the kitchen, that hadn't been there for a very long time and it felt good to have it, without the spectre of imprinting hanging over me. The time apart had been healing; he felt like a friend now, nothing more. It wasn't quite as easy as it had been, but I felt relaxed in his company and that, all things considered, was a good thing.

I stopped by the cottage after school on Monday with an old laptop from storage at the main house. As I approached, I heard a song playing on the radio and Jane was singing along, very tunefully. The song said everything about where her head was at right now; _Hopelessly Devoted_ from the soundtrack to _Grease_. My shoulders slumped. I was dealing with an unpredictable, lovesick vampire exploring the delights of the human world. On top of everything else that was going on, this wasn't my idea of what made for an easy life. How had this year taken such a wrong turn?

I pushed the door open and there she was, twirling around the room in time to the music. Her eyes were closed and she sang with a dreamy smile. As the track came to a close and the DJ went on to announce the news bulletin, she slowly opened her eyes and looked at me, sighing deeply.

"I never knew such songs existed! Humans know how to express emotion so well."

"They do." I agreed. I put the laptop down on the coffee table and switched it on to check it still worked ok. She jumped over the sofa and stood in front of me.

"I have a request." I looked up into pleading eyes. This didn't bode well.

"Go on." I said hesitantly.

"I can't possibly wait until tomorrow night to see him again, please can I go tonight?"

"Jane, we agreed."

"Please, _please_! I've been here all day thinking about him. I need to see him, I need him like air." She clasped her hands to her chest.

I scoffed. "You don't need air."

"Poetic licence, you know what I mean." I could safely say that I didn't. "If you don't trust me, come with me; I'll show you that I'm safe around him."

My face betrayed how little I liked the sound of that idea. However, Jane under my supervision was preferable to a desperate Jane taking risks and putting Dan's life in danger. I sighed.

"Ok, I'll come with you, but you must hunt first. I'm not taking any chances around him."

"Thank you! Thank you!" Jane bounced up and down and skipped around the room, she really did look no older than fourteen.

I glanced down at the laptop; it had connected to the network. "This looks like it's working. You can find out more about him from our band's website." I typed the address into the browser. "I have homework to do this afternoon. What time does Dan go to bed?"

Jane sat down on the sofa beside me and clicked on Dan's biography.

"About eleven thirty, sometimes later."

"Oh great." I murmured. I hadn't slept well last night from worrying about Jane and I'd been hoping for an early night. "Ok, well, I'll be here at about eleven thirty and we'll go across together. Ok?"

"Ok! Oh he's English!"

"Yeah, didn't you notice the funny accent?"

"No. I haven't heard him speak much. I'm English too."

"Are you?" That was a surprise.

"Yes, although England bears no resemblance to how it was when I lived there. I lived in Mercia, the kingdom in the middle?" I shook my head that meant zip to me. "Says here that Dan is from Cumbria? That was called Rheged back then, if I remember rightly."

"Sorry, you've lost me."

She smiled. "It was a very long time ago. I will have to brush up on my English history and current affairs."

"Dan's quite political. Socialist views, I think. You might want to read up on that, too. And music," I added. "He's obsessed with music."

"That much I already know, from his room." Jane looked at me questioning. She shifted position. "Ness? Can I ask you a personal question?" I nodded. "Why is your hair purple? I didn't say anything before, but I'm curious."

"I wanted a change."

"Can I do that?"

"No! My hair grows; this will grow out in time. If you dyed yours, you'd be stuck with it for eternity."

"Not a good idea, then?"

"No. So I will see you later?"

"Yes, I'll go hunt right after I've committed his biography to memory."

I rolled my eyes and sighed. It was going to be a long night.

I hoped very much that I would _never_ have to explain to Dan what I was doing climbing through his bedroom window at midnight. I felt awkward and uncomfortable stood at the foot of his bed watching him sleep. His room was smelly and desperately cluttered. I could barely find a clear space to stand in as clothes, books and papers were strewn across the floor and every surface. Jane flitted to the bed and knelt down at the side of it, barely inches from his face.

"Get back!" I hissed, Dan would not hear, we talked at sub-human hearing level.

"I'm fine!" She replied. "Oh he's so beautiful when he sleeps. Ness, come and look at him."

"No thanks." This was beyond awkward.

Jane reached up and delicately brushed away a lock of hair that had fallen into his eyes and continued down; running her finger over the curve of his shoulder under the quilt. She went back to his hair, repeatedly stroking it with the lightest of touches so as not to wake him. I stepped over some of the stuff on the floor to be a little closer, just in case. There was a laugh from the next room. Jess was still up! I listened more intently.

"So where are you going? Where is that near? No, sorry; I'm not really that good at Geography." She snickered. "I'll miss you too." No surprise, she was talking to Randall. I should close my ears, but the temptation to keep listening was immense. I kept one eye on Jane; she was in a Dan-induced trance so I listened back in to Jess's conversation. "No, I've not spoken to her today, but I really can't see why you think there's something odd about her. Ness is just Ness." I froze! Jane heard it too. Her eyes were wide.

"Was he at the party?" Jane's hand was frozen half an inch from Dan's cheek.

"No."

"Has Jess given you any reason to think she suspects that you're something else?"

"No, but Randall clearly suspects something."

"When has he seen you?"

"Only on stage." Of course, he'd been there when I'd let some of my real self influence the crowd. I grimaced. "Oh shit! It was going so well."

"What do you know about this Randall?" Jane said urgently. She abandoned Dan and came over to where I was standing.

I shook my head. "Very little, Jess barely speaks about him anymore. He's a freelance journalist, he's twenty five and he lives in Seattle, that's pretty much all I know."

"We must find out more. A _journalist_? He's going to ask questions about everything isn't he? You had better be doubly careful from now on." Jane was serious now, eyes as hard as they'd been last November when she'd visited Forks to reprove me for my indiscreet behaviour. "No slip up's Ness, you must be above reproach." I stared back at her and gestured to the recumbent form of my friend.

"And being above reproach would include the normal human behaviour of standing by Dan's bed in the middle of the night, would it?"

"I'm not the one under suspicion!" Jane said, a little too loudly. Dan started and rolled onto his back. "Oops." She murmured.

"How long are we going to be here for?" I was desperately uncomfortable now and wanted to go.

"Shhh… Let's see if Jess says anything else. Ah, she's saying goodbye." Jane looked at me. "I'd like to stay with Dan a little longer if that's ok?"

"How long?"

"'Til dawn."

"I can't stay Jane, I need to sleep."

"I'll be fine here, I've done this heaps of times." Not something I approved of. "Perhaps I can check Jess's room out for information about Randall while I'm here?"

I nodded slowly. "Good idea."

"Ok, leave it with me." I looked at her with unease. "I _will_ be fine Ness. Dan will still be alive in the morning, I promise you. I don't want to kill him; I want to have a chance of being with him."

I had to pin my hope on that desire and that desire alone.

"Promise?"

"I promise. Get some sleep and thanks for letting me come over tonight."

"Ok. Let me know if you find anything. Bye."

I stole quickly out of Dan's window and dropped silently to the ground outside. I looked up to see Jared in wolf form, standing in the trees at the edge of the lawn. I shrugged my shoulders, at a loss to explain our presence there and darted away.

239


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter ****Fifteen: **Holding Back the Rain

I would be perfect. I would not make mistakes. I would not give Randall any cause to doubt my humanity and I certainly wouldn't give Jess any reason to report that I was anything other than a regular girl.

I thought about Randall. I hadn't met him yet. At _The Shed_ he'd always stood right at the back of the room, observing us from afar. I was amazed that he could pick up my differences from so far away; but if he was used to watching bands and their affect on an audience, then maybe it wasn't so unexpected after all. He'd have been to countless gigs, seen many bands making their debut; of course I'd stand out if I could have that effect on a crowd. I chastised myself for my stupidity. He was a journalist; I'd need to be ultra wary of him and his potential to alert the world to my existence. Different in band terms may be good, but there were some types of different – the different I could be, for example – that weren't good. I'd have to rein my vampire nature firmly back in.

Randall's suspicions I could do nothing about until we played another gig; Jess, however I could. I made a point of inviting her out for pizza on Wednesday night; as she couldn't make our rehearsal on Thursday. Randall was making a trip to see a band at The Shed and of course, she was going there. She'd made some excuse about homework commitments to Zak, but had sworn me to secrecy that she was 'seeing her bloke' as she put it. Food may not have much in the way of taste anymore, but I could go through the motions well enough, to find out more about this guy and why he suspected that I wasn't all I seemed.

But all the cunning and artifice in the world was useless against the clam shell that was Jess! Whichever way I approached the subject of him, she subtly deflected it or answered another question to the one I wanted the answer to. Finally, my patience snapped and I got angry with her.

"Why are you being so secretive over this guy?"

Jess wriggled her shoulders as if she was uncomfortable, her brow was deeply furrowed. She remained silent for a good few seconds before speaking very quietly.

"I don't want to spend hours gushing over every detail and then five minutes later have him break up with me. I'd only torture myself for weeks after, crying my heart out over him. The less I speak about him the better. Call it self-preservation." She smiled weakly. I understood that, I saw the logic there. "I'm not doing it deliberately; well, I am, but I'm not doing it to intentionally piss you off. I'm doing it because I'm still overwhelmed by it all."

"He must be _some_ guy."

Jess took a sip of her coffee. "You have no idea." She murmured and the corners of her mouth pulled up; hesitantly at first, before finally breaking out into a full-blown smile. She laughed and shook her head, as in disbelief. "Ness, I promise you; when I'm more confident about things I'll tell you so much about him that you'll be begging me to shut up."

"I can't wait."

"Oh you can. There will be a time when can bore for Britain on Randall." We laughed. Whatever Randall's concerns were about me, Jess didn't appear to share them and I relaxed a little.

I got to rehearsal slightly late on Thursday and as I reached the side door of the workshop, I picked up the scent of Jane and it was fresh. She was here! I flung open the door. Yes, there she was, talking to Dan over by his amplifier. I made a beeline for them, working hard not to walk too quickly and trying to calm myself so that I didn't talk too quickly either. She turned to face me, her bright, happy and - my eyes boggled - make-up-caked face was in direct contrast to the harsh glare I returned to her. How _dare_ she do this! I thought we agreed that she'd work up to this, not launch straight in within days!

"Ness!" She simpered. "How wonderful to see you again! I called by your house and Charlie said you were down here. I was just catching up with Dan!" She walked over to me. Her amber eyes were masked with brown contact lenses that were in one of the bathroom cabinets.

"I bet you were." I said so quickly and quietly that only she would hear me. "It's nice to see you again, Jane." I said at normal volume. "How've you been? How are things in…" We hadn't even worked out a story; I'd have to think fast!

"Portland?" She answered.

"Yeah, how's Portland? I haven't been down there yet."

"It's a lovely city; you must come see us soon. Mom and Dad send their love." Mom and Dad? Jane, what were you playing at?

"That's kind of them. I send my love in return." Whoever they were.

"Rosalie and Jasper send their love too." I had to work hard not to gawp, how _dare_ she borrow my family without asking! "They say it's too long since we got together. They haven't seen you since the accident and they're _terribly_ worried about you." Jane was laying the false concern on good and thick. "How are you doing, now?" She didn't give me chance to answer, turning back to Dan with a heartbroken look on her face. "Her parents were such lovely people; it was an awful tragedy when they were killed. But we're so glad that she's working through the grief and has made some good friends here in Forks." I had to hold down the urge to vomit. Dan looked at me, clearly confused by Jane's suggestion that I was losing it.

"Jane I'm Ok. Really."

She patted my arm. "You're so brave, Ness." '_Too much_?' She mouthed. I smiled painfully and nodded.

"Could… um… I have a word?" I said to her, taking her by the elbow and trying hard not to yank her across to the other side of the workshop. I stood with my back to Dan. "There is no plan in place!" I hissed. "You have no story yet! And more to the point, what the _hell_ are you doing here?"

"I _had_ to see him. I've missed him so much. And guess what! He was so pleased to see me!"

"Great! But excuse me? You don't even have a last name yet! We haven't sorted out where you live, your family – although you seem to have helped yourself to mine – or anything!"

"I've found a last name. Off a book."

"What is it?"

"Austen."

"You can't call yourself Jane _Austen_!"

"No? What about Jane Eyre, then?"

"Nooo! You need to choose something _inconspicuous_. Do you _know_ who Jane Austen is?"

"No. Is she well known?"

"Yeah!" I hissed "Where've you _been_ for the last two hundred years? Under a rock?"

"Something like that. So Jane Eyre…?"

"…Is one of the most famous books in the English language!"

"Oh…"

"Yes 'oh'. Choose something _inconspicuous_." I emphasized the last word.

"How about Matthews? Jane Matthews?"

"That sounds OK. Jane Matthews, from Portland. Who are Rosalie and Jasper then?"

"My brother and sister?"

"Oh well, I suppose they _are_ blonde. Ok, you have a brother and a sister." I exhaled through my teeth. "Dare I ask who Mom and Dad are?" I kind of knew where this was going.

"Carlisle and Esmé." She beamed.

"Why don't you take the rest of them for good measure?" I scoffed.

"No I'll leave you Edward and Bella. But I might want Alice and Emmett later.

"Oh gee, thanks!"

"Oh!" she gasped. "Dan's coming over!" She gave a nervous giggle.

"Ness? We're um… just about to start. Are you… staying, Jane?" Dan scratched his neck.

"Yes! I'm staying at Ness's house tonight." Oh for the love of all that was holy, she was just making this up as she went along… We'd get in trouble, for sure.

"So you're going to stay and watch us rehearse?"

"Yes! If that's OK?"

"Yeah no problem."

A feeling of dread spread through me as I noticed the reddening bloom in Dan's cheeks. My eyes locked on Jane, her eyes were averted and there was an undeniable tension in her face.

"Not so easy is it." I muttered quickly, well below Dan's hearing level.

"No." Came the strangled reply.

"You alright Jane?" Dan enquired. "You don't look well?"

"I'm fine!" She said quickly. Her eyes darted everywhere other than where I knew she wanted to focus – on the blood in his cheeks.

"Take a seat." I indicated to the stack of drums in the corner where Chrissy and Naomi were perched. "Chrissy? Naomi? This is Jane; she's a friend of mine." Jane went and sat over with the two girls and I walked over to the microphone stand. We still rehearsed facing one another and my back was to Jane and the other girls. I looked at Dan to my right. He was side-on to Jane and his eyes constantly flicked back over to her, the bloom of blood strengthening. I pursed my lips. This wasn't by any means a one way street and keeping these two apart might be as easy as holding back the rain. I'd have to play old-fashioned chaperone.

In Frederick's afterwards, I watched with interest as across from me, Dan placed a mug of hot chocolate and a blueberry muffin in front of Jane.

"There y'are, get that down you, girl." He said in his usual brusque, British way, before sliding into the seat next to her. This had become our custom after every rehearsal; to hang out, drink chocolate and eat muffins. There was no way she'd easily get out of this; Dan was right next to her and she was surrounded by seven other humans. If she wanted to blend in, Jane was going to have to eat and drink like the rest of us.

With uncertainty etched on her face, Jane picked up the muffin and followed my lead in peeling off the paper case. She copied me in breaking it down into smaller pieces before hesitantly putting one in her mouth. I covered my smirking face with a hand as she valiantly tried not to show how unpleasant the taste and sensation of eating were. Dan eyed her, his jaws working on the usual enormous bite he'd taken out of his muffin – Dan never took anything less than a huge bite of everything. Jane lifted the mug and went to take a sip of the chocolate.

"Watch out, it's hot." I cautioned, not that she would be remotely affected even if it were. I blew on mine and she took the hint, following suit. Dan finished his mouthful and shifted in his seat, angling himself towards Jane.

"So what are you doing in Forks then?" He said to her. This would be interesting to hear. I popped another piece of muffin into my mouth and settled back in my seat, curious to hear what far-fetched nonsense Jane would come up with and where, precisely, Alice and Emmett were going to figure in her imaginary family.

I suppose I should be happy; that with the exception of Edward and Bella, should they ever show up here again, I could now palm all of them off as being related to someone else.

Later, in the quiet of my room, Jane walked back from the bathroom and sat down on the bed.

"Thanks." She said quietly. "That was deeply unpleasant. I suppose there have got to be some downsides to this."

"If you want to hang out with humans, then yes." Jane had had to make herself vomit, there was no other way of getting the food and drink out of her system.

"But other than that, I had a great time."

"Don't push things." I warned.

"But he likes me too."

"Yeah, and what happened when he blushed? Like I said, don't push it. One slip and he's dead."

"Or a vampire."

"No way! This is _not_ going there!" I spat. "You appear to have forgotten the treaty with the Quileutes. In essence, you don't kill humans, and you don't bite them to convert them. May I remind you that the wolves are more than capable of tearing you to pieces, if you violate that? I have to live here; the rest of the Cullens might come back one day. I don't want decades of Carlisle's work undone in a week."

"Point taken."

"Good. Now, I have to get to sleep. I take it you can make your own way back to the cottage?" Jane nodded.

We said our goodbyes and she exited silently through my window. I dressed for bed and read for too long, engrossed in my book. It was after midnight before I settled down under the covers to the familiar sound of rain.

"Ness?"

"Ummm."

"Ness!"

"Mmmm."

"Nessie, wake up!" I opened my eyes; Jake was kneeling by my bed, his face was grave. I started, shaking myself awake and looking at the clock. It was ten to four.

"What's happened? Is it Jane?" Horrific images of Jane standing above a drained Dan filled my mind.

"Yeah, it's Jane." He said softly, "I need you to come with me."

"She killed someone?" I threw back the quilt and sprang out of bed, landing lightly in front of him.

"Yeah. Look, I'll wait outside while you dress. Could you bring some spare clothes for her?"

"Spare clothes?"

"Yeah, she's pretty messed up."

"Blood?" I recoiled. "I'm not going to be good with that."

"Not blood, they attacked her."

I looked at Jake in confusion. "Attacked? They fought back? A human attacked a vampire?" I'd never heard of such a thing, of a human getting so much as a blink in, before.

"She didn't kill a human, she killed a vampire."

"A _vampire_? There was another one? Who was it?"

"Ness, could you just come please? She's over at Dan's, and pretty upset."

"Why's she at Dan's?"

"Ness, just… come on!" Jake urged and climbed back out through my window.

I dressed and grabbed extra clothes, dropping to the ground outside and scooting off into the trees across the road to meet Jake. The wolf and I skirted the edge of the town through the forest, flashing over the freeway and into the Forest Road area of Forks. Seth was under Dan's window when we arrived; I nodded quickly to him in greeting and scaled the Taylor's house; climbing silently through Dan's window and closing it behind me.

Jane was knelt by Dan's bed, her chin resting on his pillow. She was gazing sadly at the back of his head running her fingers and thumb along a fold that ran through the t-shirt on his back. My arrival did not elicit a response from her, but I saw instantly why Jake had asked me to bring her a change of clothes; hers were in tatters.

"Jane?" She turned to look at me; it seemed like an effort for her to do even that. "Jake said you were attacked, asked me to bring you some clothes." I walked over and knelt close to her. "What happened?"

"I killed my brother."

"Alec? He was here?" She nodded.

"He tracked me down, tried to force me to go back to the…" She grabbed me. "Ness, I don't want to go back, _ever_!" She spoke the last word loudly enough to cause Dan to shift position. He rolled onto his back. Jane immediately cupped her hand lightly to his head and stroked his hair, as if to try and soothe him back to sleep. "Sorry darling." She whispered. "I don't want to go anywhere, I just want to stay here, with Dan; forever." I let that one go, we could talk about the forever bit another day.

"I'm sorry." I reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. Her head whipped around to stare at it and then at me. She looked like nobody had ever touched her before. Given her life with the Volturi, maybe nobody ever had. I moved my hand to her back and rubbed, the way any of my family would have done for me. Her bottom lip started to tremble and although tears would never escape her eyes, she was every bit as upset as a human would be. I walked forward on my knees and wrapped my arms around her. She laid her head on my shoulder and started to silently sob; hesitantly putting her arms around me in return, awkward and unfamiliar with the concept of a hug. She got the hang of it pretty quickly, though and she held me way tighter than was comfortable. I'd mention the _not squeezing people to death_ bit, later.

Dan slept on, utterly oblivious to the pair of us kneeling by his bed. If he opened his eyes right now, there would be no chance of him not seeing us and we'd have some serious explaining to do.

I closed my eyes and yawned. I was desperately tired. A tray thwacked down in front of me. My eyes flew back open to see Dan sitting down on the other side of the table.

"Your tonsils look fine." He grinned. "Bad night?"

"Yeah. I didn't get much sleep."

"I slept like a log." He grinned and I resisted the temptation to say that I knew. He cast a hesitant glance around us. "So… um… Jane." A small smile played at the corner of my mouth. He sighed and his face dropped. I could figure out what his problem was.

"You're wondering exactly how bad would it be if a seventeen year old went out with a fourteen year old?"

"Yeah." He replied. "That." His voice sounded strangely strangled. He cleared his throat. "I know," he admitted sadly. "It's bad on so many levels." He had no idea exactly how many, but we'd focus on the age difference thing. "I like her though; I can't explain why. She's quirky and unusual and I like that." He ducked his head toward me. "While no one's here, tell me what you know about her." Oh hell! Now it was my turn to have to make stuff up. "How do you know her?"

I kept it simple. "Her parents were friends of my parents." No intrinsic lie there about Carlisle and Esmé. "They used to live close to us but they moved out to Portland a couple of years ago. Her Dad's a Doctor, works in a hospital there."

"Portland?" He mused. "They've got good beers in Portland."

"Yeah, but you can't drink them!"

"That much I do know." He snickered. "I can't wait for June. I'll make sure I have a few pints in the Rose and Crown with the lads."

"You're… going back?"

"Only for a holiday; to see everyone, y'know? Our first year in America and all that. Gran'll come out with some 'oh you've grown so much' crap."

I laughed. "Gran's _always_ say that, mine does." And then I realised my slip. I wasn't supposed to have a Gran. I had no family, that's why I was in Forks. 'You klutz, Nessie!' I internally chastised. Thankfully, Dan was too wrapped up in Jane to notice. "How long are you going for?"

"Two weeks, just after school finishes in June."

"I didn't know, Jess didn't say."

"No, they finalised it last night and booked the tickets."

"Summer in England. That'll be nice!"

"It'll still rain." He scoffed, it's just warmer rain. "Have you ever been?"

I shook my head. "No." Jess appeared to my right and put her tray down on the table next to mine.

"Hiya!" She breezed and collapsed into the chair. "Ooh!" She pulled a face at me. "I didn't see you clearly earlier, but in this light you look _really_ tired. Louis Vuitton will be launching the Ness Masen luggage collection based on those eye bags if you're not careful." I ran my finger under my left eye and felt the puffiness. "Look, if you're going to go to all night parties, at least have the decency to invite your best mate. I was up talking to Randall until stupid o'clock this morning. I could've come with you. I swear that guy's nocturnal."

"He's a freelance music journo, he probably is." Dan spluttered through a mouthful of pizza.

"Sadly, no party. Just not enough sleep."

"Boring!" Jess sang "If we're going to be rock chicks, the least you can do is come up with something a bit more rock and roll to explain the bags under your eyes." This was more the Jess I knew, the confidence and the mouth was back. I'd missed her! "You should take to wearing sunglasses, permanently."

I pointed outside to the gloomy, wet February day. "In this?" I smirked.

"_Especially_ in this." Jess stabbed her carton of juice and drank deeply. "So, apart from being chronically tired, how's things with you? We should go out for pizza again; I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed spending time with you. I'm sorry, I've been a bit wrapped up in Randall."

"Understatement of the century." Muttered Dan. "At least this one's got a pulse."

I snickered.

"Oh shut up, sad act! Just because _you_ can't get yourself a girl. Here's a tip, try going out a bit. You'll never get a girl if you spend all night in your bedroom." I laughed. Jess didn't know that there was every chance Dan was going to achieve the impossible if Jane got her way. She turned on me. "And as for you!"

"What?" I grinned at her.

"There's nobody you want to go out with?"

"No."

"And nobody sent you a Valentine's card?" She saw the flicker of embarrassment on my face before I could hide it "Ah ha! Someone did!"

"I got a couple, yes." I admitted.

"A _couple_?" Her eyes were twinkling with amusement, suspecting I was not telling the truth. "Exactly how many is a _couple _Vanessa Masen? Tell Auntie Jessica."

"Eight." I admitted. Jess's hand smacked down on the table.

"Haha! Re-sult! Ow!" She shook her hand. "Eight?" She grinned. "Do you know who they're from?"

"Some of them. One was from Ricky."

"I knew it! He's still holding a candle for you."

"Shhh! He's coming." Warned Dan. As Ricky sat down directly across from Jess, he could be in no doubt that he was the topic of conversation.

"What have I done?" He looked concerned and he was right to be. Jess wasn't going to let this drop.

"Oh nothing…" She breezed, grinning like an idiot at our bemused drummer. Across from me, Dan raised his eyebrows in amusement. I watched him for a second and his amusement changed to irritation. I suspected he wanted to talk more about Jane. She was a secret only he and I could talk about. I hoped it would stay like that for a long time.

I wanted to keep the human world, the vampire world and the wolves living by the sea as far apart as possible; each uncomfortable reality swept under the rug at the far sides of my life. Dan and Jane were an unwelcome blurring of those boundaries.

With the mysterious vampire identified and now living at the cottage, life settled back down to something approaching normality. The peninsula went quiet and Jane and I had the hunting ground to ourselves. She didn't pass up any opportunity to get more information about Dan from me, constantly asking about his day or telling me things she'd gleaned from the nights she spent in his room. After the unsettlement of the incident with Alec and allowing her a few days of spending every night with him, Jane finally started to adhere to the two nights a week routine. Outside of what she viewed as her most precious hours, she threw herself into the serious study of modern human culture. After all, she had twelve hundred years to catch up on.

She made herself useful too, getting all domestically inclined and working on the cottage. I turned up from school one sunny afternoon to find she had pruned back the climbing roses and was replanting the pots for the summer ahead. The doors and windows of the cottage were flung wide open and from them, came the smell of polish and cleaning fluid.

"You've been busy. Did you spring clean?"

"Yes, I hope you don't mind. It was getting a little… neglected and little fusty in there."

"No, I don't mind. It saves me the job."

"It's my way of saying thank you. It's the least I can do for all the help you've given me.

"You're welcome."

"I've never really known what it was before; but today, for the first time, I realised that I knew what it was to be happy. I wasn't doing anything in particular; I was just dusting the books. But I found myself smiling, for no reason other than I was glad to be there and I wasn't afraid of anything, or of anyone."

"That wasn't something you had before?"

"No, Aro never liked you to get too comfortable, there wasn't much in the way of job security; he would replace you on a whim. I was lucky that he never found anyone to replace me."

"I can't begin to imagine your previous life, I'm sorry."

"It's ok. Actually, I'd rather not talk about it, it's ancient history. I'd rather talk about something more agreeable. Or rather, some_one_ more agreeable."

With that prompting, I fished in the pocket of my bag and brought out a small square of paper.

"Speaking of the more agreeable person, he asked about you today." Jane's face lit up. "He wondered what you were doing over Spring Break and asked me to pass on his email address to you. A bunch of us are going surfing and cliff diving down at La Push and he wondered if you wanted to come along." I handed her the small square of paper; I might as well have handed her a bar of gold. She stared at it open-mouthed for a moment before unfolding it.

"I can email him? He wants to hang out with me?" Incredulity infused her words.

"So it would appear." I smiled. "I think he's noticed you." Jane gasped a laugh and clasped the piece of paper to her chest.

"But, you know the rules. You can only come if it's a cloudy day and as it's the wolves' territory, we're going to have to ask their permission for you to be there. Please understand that some of them might not be comfortable with you being there and they might say no."

"That's Ok. Do you have to ask permission to go down there?"

"No, the Cullens can come and go as they please. There was a modification of the original treaty." A modification I was now aware was probably in place for one reason and one reason only - Jake.

"But you don't go down there?"

"No, I haven't been down recently, but I used to spend a lot of my time there." A memory of playing in the surf with Jake came to mind. I remembered the warmth of a beautiful, cloudless day, the summer that I had turned three. He was trying to knock me off my surfboard and I was shrieking and laughing as he failed. They were good times and for a second I missed him.

Jane had disappeared from where she had been standing. I peered around the door frame to find her already tapping away on the keyboard. She was radiating happiness and I hoped for her sake that it was a very cold, damp and miserable Spring Break.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter ****Sixteen: Line in the Sand**

"Will you stop fidgeting?" It was something vampires didn't do.

"Sorry!" A laugh burst through Jane's lips. "I'm so excited!" She was literally bouncing in her seat beside me.

"We'll be there in two minutes. Just chill!" We drove through the reservation and out to the parking lot at First Beach. I brought the car to a stop and switched off the engine. "Ok, now don't launch yourself at him; you have the whole day in front of you so take it _easy_. It should be like this all day, but the first hint of the cloud breaking and we're out of here. I don't want you turning all sparkly in front of him. Are we agreed?"

"Yes."

"Ok! Let's hit the beach!" We got out of the car and unclipped the surfboards from the roof, each grabbing our bags from the trunk and heading down onto the beach where the group were already in evidence. Ricky and Chrissy were already out in the surf. Zak and Naomi were walking down to the water and the clunks of a closing car doors above us alerted me to other arrivals. Dan wasn't here yet. Jess wasn't coming and she'd been predictably erudite about why.

"Surf? In _this_ weather? Are you _mad_? Surfing is for hot climates, not freezing your arse off on a Washington beach in March."

"So you're not coming then?" I smirked.

"I'd rather plait my own intestines. But have fun, I'll come and visit you when you're in hospital recovering from hypothermia." She was off to meet up with Randall, her first trip out on her own having finally passed her driver's test last week.

We dumped our stuff. Jane and I stripped down to our swimsuits that we were already wearing underneath and pulled on wetsuits. I'd let Jane borrow Alice's, not that either of them needed one, it was for appearances. As we got ready to join the others in the water, I turned to see Dan arriving, with Sadie.

"Oh _no_." I murmured.

"Who is _that_ with him?" There was a harsh edge to Jane's voice, reminiscent of the tone she'd used with me during her official visit back in November.

"That's Sadie." I replied.

"And who is _she_?"

"Your competition."

"We'll see about _that_. He's mine!"

"Jane, you can't own a human, they have to choose you. It has to be mutual."

"I was here first."

"Well, no… you weren't. Sadie's been trying to get him to notice her since September."

"And how's she doing with that?"

"Not good." I admitted. Dan looked up and I saw the pupils of his eyes dilate when he realised that Jane was here, she must have seen it too.

"Ha! He's happy to see _me_."

"Looks that way, "I murmured, "Don't ruin it." I said lightly as they approached.

"Oh I won't." There was sincerity in her tone.

Behind Dan and Sadie, three other figures came down onto to beach; Jake, Quil and Claire. Jake and Quil were carrying surfboards while Claire, kitted out in a black and pink wetsuit skipped happily along at Quil's side. I focussed on the little girl for a moment, naturally curious now I knew the true nature of why Quil spent so much time with her. I watched their interaction; it was so easy, so natural; he could have been her big brother. Emily had been right, it was entirely platonic and there was nothing untoward here.

Dan and Sadie reached us and I noticed with no little amusement that Dan was not thrilled that Sadie was here. His attention was focussed entirely on Jane and he greeted her a little too enthusiastically for Sadie's taste; asking Jane heap of questions about what she'd been up to. We'd prepared for this and she had every answer mapped out. This time there would be no surprises.

We waited for them to change and headed down to the water together. Sadie got into step beside me, while Jane and Dan walked behind.

"So who's this?" Sadie did not seem pleased at the company.

"Oh, Jane's a friend of mine; she's up from Portland for Spring Break."

"Dan knows her?"

"A little, yeah, they've met before."

"How old is she?"

"Fourteen." _And then some_, I added in my head.

"Oh." Sadie seemed cheered by that news. "_Very_ young then."

"Oh yes." I decided to inject a little fun, "And I think she has a little bit of a crush on him."

"Don't we all? She'll just have to get in line." I smirked. This was uncharacteristic fighting talk from Sadie. Today could be fun!

The water was freezing for the humans. Jane, Jake, Quil and I did our best to play along, although the cold had no bearing on us. Quil sat Claire on his surfboard and walked out into the deeper water just the other side of the breakers. We followed, and soon there was a line of us waiting to catch a wave and ride it in.

"I don't suppose this is the time to admit I've never done this before?" Said Dan and I had to look away, biting my lip to stop myself from laughing, when Sadie and Jane, standing either side of him, both chorused "Me either," in tandem. Jake grinned and shook his head in amusement, looking behind him.

"Here we go!" He called. Jake and I weren't fantastic surfers by any means, certainly not in the league of Jake's brother-in-law who was a professional surfer; but we were competent and could ride a wave.

It felt good to be back out on the water, it had been far too long and I enjoyed the thrill of it again and the intentional falling off. Cruising to a stop on the sand would have given my impeccable balance away.

After one 'fall' my head broke the surface only a couple of yards from Jake, he quickly closed the distance and spoke quietly.

"So, Dan has an interesting selection of admirers, there."

"Yeah."

"He doesn't look thrilled about the other girl turning up, it's clear he's got a thing for Jane." I nodded. "Have you got a plan in place?"

"It's not that advanced. We've just fleshed out her story; we haven't gotten further than that."

"Is he the inquisitive type?"

"What do you mean?" Jake opened his mouth to say something, smiled and then closed it again.

"Nevermind."

"What?"

"It's nothing." The smile widened. He'd found something funny but irritatingly, he wasn't sharing it. That was a bug bear of mine and he knew it.

"Tell me! What? What's so funny?"

"Oh I don't know? March, a beach, surfing, a group of kids from Forks High School and a vampire on the scene? I'm starting to get a sense of _déjà vu_, here. I wonder if I should tell him the Quileute legends now, or when he takes me for a walk along the beach." I pulled a face.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Ask your Mom."

"No." I scoffed. "I'm not speaking to her, remember?"

"Still? Nessie, you are so stubborn!"

"Yep, and I get it from her." I thought about what he'd said there. "What do you mean tell him the legends now or wait until he takes you for a walk down the beach?"

He laughed. "Bella was artful in getting the information she wanted out of me."

"Oh yeah, she's a total piece of work."

Jake's smiled vanished and he was suddenly in my face. "That is not nice!" He hissed. "I really don't know what's come over you these days, you are in a permanent bad mood. It's like everybody has to walk on eggshells around you."

"No they don't!" I snapped. There was a shriek behind me as Sadie tumbled off her board into the surf. I turned and saw Jane's look of quiet satisfaction. I turned back to glare at Jake. "I'm fine. Perhaps if people told me the truth, I wouldn't have reason to be quite so _pissed_ at everyone."

"You _know_ the truth. You know _everything_, what more is there?" Jake's eyes flashed with anger.

"Oh, you know? _Stuff_." I emphasized. "The past, deals, arrangements, lies, relationships, all that jazz."

Jake looked at me, confused. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Well, that makes two of us." I turned and looked at Jane and Sadie. Sadie was rubbing her head and Jane was looking at her in a way that suggested the vampire was using her talent to inflict some low-level pain on her rival. "I'd better intervene."

"Somebody needs to intervene with you." I heard Jake mutter.

"Yeah, whatever!" I retorted and waded off to where Jane and Sadie were. Dan's head surfaced between them.

"Hi Ness! Guess what? I've found something I'm really bad at."

"Surfing?"

"Yeah! I'm knackered already. I might get out and wait for the cliff diving after lunch. I think I can cope with the level of skill involved in hurling myself off a cliff. This is just mad. Jane's good at it though!" Well of course she would be.

True to his word, Dan left the sea and wandered back up the beach to the log. It wasn't long before Sadie and then Jane followed him. I looked over at Jake. He was talking to Quil and casting unfavourable glances in my direction. Bang went the improvement in our friendship; it was back to how bad it was at Thanksgiving.

"Whatever." I grumbled to myself and headed out into deeper water, trying to channel my annoyance into riding the waves.

As I stepped out with the others on to the cliff top, it instantly took me back to the night of my birthday; the night my life had become, by subtle degrees, a darker, lonelier place. Leah had been right; secrets didn't make for easy relationships, that much was true. My black and white life had expanded to become a spectrum of grey. Nothing was as it seemed and truth was a precious commodity. I thought back to the night of my birthday and how I'd stupidly wished that everything could stay as wonderful as it had been then. How naïve of me to think that it ever could.

I may have been physically seventeen years old that day, but I knew nothing about the world I lived in and I'd had to do a whole lot of growing up in a short space of time. All around me my relationships were fragmenting and I was feeling increasingly isolated. I couldn't speak to my parents or my wider family. I couldn't keep on an even keel with Jake and resented with every fibre of my being this whole 'imprinting' thing. My relationship with Ricky had fizzled out and my once strong friendship with Jess had been replaced by her secretive relationship with Randall. I'd gone through some changes at Christmas through Brad's attack; home was like living in sniper alley, Grampa's relationship with Sue was on the rocks, Leah hated my guts and now I had to try and keep Dan and Jane from each other. How was I so stupid to think that coming to live with Grampa and going to High School was going to be easy? It wasn't me I wanted to hurl off this cliff, it was all my problems.

My friends lined up one by one for the cliff; Quil and Jake had decided to show them how it was done. Quil leapt off first and Sadie instantly decided it was too much and that she wasn't doing it. Jane seemed pleased by that. She and Dan were standing very close to one another and when I caught her eye I motioned for her to take a step back, which she did. Dan closed the gap and I rolled my eyes. Was this guy on a piece of string attached to her?

One by one they went over, even Chrissy and Naomi, accompanied by exhilarated screaming all the way down. Jane went off with style and grace while Dan kind of fell off by accident, prompting concern from Jake that he was too close to the cliffs. He landed safely in the water though and started for the beach, trying to catch up to Jane. All too soon it was Jake and I alone on the cliff.

We glanced at each other, but neither one of us said anything for the longest time.

"Are you going to jump?" He asked.

"I don't really feel like it."

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry things are such a mess between us. We used to be good friends."

"Yeah." I said softly. "Things change."

"I still don't know what changed."

"Lots of things." I gazed out to sea, the sky was still as leaden grey as it had been this morning but the wind had picked up a little now.

"Could you tell me one?"

I thought about him and what annoyed me the most. The subject of him and Mom was too much to think about, but there was the imprinting.

"I don't like the fact that I don't have choice about…" I stopped; footsteps alerted me to the return of Zak and Naomi.

"A choice about what?" I looked into the trees and saw them walking the final few yards. "Ness? What do you not have a choice about?" My friends came out onto the cliff top, eager to jump again. I looked at Jake.

"Another time." I said. He sighed in exasperation.

"Hey Ness, you not jumping?" asked Zak, not looking at me but focussing on Jake. I shook my head.

"Not today."

"I'm going again!" Zak took a run up this time and flung himself as far he could off the cliff. "Woohoo!" He yelled as he fell. A warm hand rested lightly on my arm. I looked down at it and then up to its owner, to Jake.

"Can we talk later?" His eyes were soft and held no hint of their previous anger when we'd been in the water. I nodded. Perhaps I needed to articulate some of this, instead of letting it circle around and around in my head. He returned the smallest and most hesitant of smiles.

The cliff jumping continued and when it came to Dan's second go he asked Jane if she wanted to jump in tandem.

"That isn't wise." cautioned Jake. "You may end up colliding in the water."

"How about you wait for me at the bottom?" Jane said to Dan.

"You must get clear of the where she might land, though," advised Jake.

"I will." He smiled at her and this time, when he jumped; he did it with a degree more panache than his first, lame attempt. Jane peered over the edge and watched as he splashed into the water and safely resurfaced. He swam a few strokes away from the base of the cliff. When Jake gave her the all clear, Jane leapt lightly off and hit the water cleanly like a javelin. Dan started swimming towards where she'd landed and by the time he'd gotten there, using his ineffective crawl, she had resurfaced and I saw her smooth her hair back and close the distance between them. Jake and I stood on the edge of the cliff together looking down at the pair of them bobbing in the water.

"Do you get the sense that this is wrong?" I asked him. "I can't work out if I've made the right choice here. Part of me feels that I should keep them apart at all costs and another part says it would be cruel, they are clearly attracted to one another."

"I share your dilemma. However, from my experience, keeping vampires and humans…"

"Holy hell, they're _kissing_!" I yelled. The shock of what was happening in the water below, made me overbalance and a chunk of the cliff gave way beneath my foot. Jake reached out to grab me and pull me back. There was a moment where he almost had me, but I was stronger than he was, my mass shifted forward and with Jake's arms wrapped around my waist, we tumbled off the cliff together.

As we fell I struggled to get free, shouting to Dan and Jane below to get out of the way. They didn't appear to hear me, lips still pressed together. There was no other way of doing this. I yelled at vampire intensity at Jane and told her to do whatever it took to get them both out of the way. Jake and I hit the water almost simultaneously, and turned into a tangle of bodies, arms and legs. My foot connected with his stomach as I tried to kick upwards for the surface. I saw the stream of bubbles come from his mouth as I accidentally forced the breath out of him. He struggled and I darted for him, hooking my hands under his armpits and pulling him upwards with me.

We broke the surface together and Jake gasped for air.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to kick you!"

"Exactly why you should never jump in tandem." He spluttered. He smiled at me and I smiled back. We were ok.

"Were you trying to bloody _kill _us?" Yelled Dan. I looked over Jake's shoulder and my eyes nearly fell out of my head. Dan was protectively clasping Jane to him.

"Sorry, it was an accident. We overbalanced." Dan was angry, I was alarmed, Jake was winded and Jane appeared to be deliriously happy. "At least we missed you." Had he noticed that he'd instantly moved eight feet to the left?

"Yeah, thank goodness for that. He looked down at Jane. "Are you alright?"

"A little shocked, but ok." She simpered.

"You're freezing cold; we'd better get out of the water. Can you swim?" Jane nodded pathetically. "Ok, well we'll take it slowly; just shout if you need to stop for a rest." Jane and Dan set off for the shore. Jake and I remained where we were for the moment, treading water.

"I guess things just crossed a line." He said.

"You could say that! I have no idea what the hell I'm going to do about this. This is too soon, this is too _fast_! "I was gabbling too quickly myself. "Of all the people to do this, it's a bit rich coming from her. She has just taken everything she's enforced for twelve hundred years and thrown it out the window! Vampire 101, _don't_ tell people what you are, _don't _get yourself into a compromising situation and what does she do? Kisses a guy! At some point he's going to notice she doesn't warm up and she doesn't feel like other girls either and I'll get the whole 'there's something weird about Jane' thing and then the awkward questions will start." I swore, very loudly and smacked my hand down onto the surface of water, splattering Jake with droplets. "Sorry."

"I think the only course of action is to tell Jane to back off."

"Yeah, she needs to go to Portland, and _stay_ in Portland."

"Portland?"

"That's where she's supposed to be from." I looked at the small figures ahead of us. They were nearing the shore now. "I'd better catch up with her before they get in the trees and … Do anything else."

Jake and I swam as quickly as we dared towards the beach, making it out just as Dan and Jane reached the start of the trees. Dan's hand was resting on her back and I jogged to catch up before they could get out of sight. Sorry Dan, but this wasn't going to happen today. Jake followed me, still coughing a little.

"Hey guys, wait!" I called. Dan looked back over his shoulder and I saw the flash of irritation in his eyes. He dropped his arm from Jane's back. "I'm really sorry for that. Jane I hope you're ok."

"I'm fine, Dan looked after me."

"She needs to get warm and dry." Dan insisted.

"Good idea. "Said Jake. "We could make a fire. It wouldn't surprise me if Quil's already got one started."

The four of us walked back through the trees to the surfing beach. Yes, Quil had already got the fire going. Chrissy and Naomi were returning from getting changed and as we grabbed our bags and headed up to the hut in the parking lot to change, Jake caught up to us.

"You can use the house if you'd like" He said to me, quietly. "Dad would appreciate the visit; it's been a while since you've been here." I hadn't been to Jake and Billy's since my birthday; that felt like years ago now. "Hey, did you know he's got a girlfriend now?"

"No!"

"Yeah, she's called Margaret, she's here today. She was his physical therapist, but she passed him on to another therapist because she realised she was becoming involved with him."

"That's great!" I beamed. It was lovely that Billy had someone. I knew there hadn't been anyone in his life since Jake's Mom died when Jake was nine.

"Will you come say hello to her?"

I nodded. "What about Dan and Jane, though?"

"That's no problem." He turned back to them. "Hey guys, don't use the shack, I live over there, at the red cabin? You can change in comfort." He laughed. The Black's cabin was hardly palatial.

"No, I meant Jane, what she is?"

"He's fine with it Nessie. He knows she's here. Stands to reason that if she's hanging with you, she'll come into contact with some humans."

"And some wolves."

"Yep, we'll keep her in line." I looked at him and then back to Dan and Jane walking close together, behind us.

"I thought you were supposed to be keeping the two species apart?" I whispered. "Not doing a good job are you?" I smirked.

"I'm not the one who introduced them to each other."

"True." That had been my fault and in my own living room, too.

We walked the remaining distance to the cabin in companionable silence.

"Hey Dad, make yourself decent, we have visitors!" He called from a yard or so away.

"I'm always decent!" Came the familiar gruff voice in reply. Jake opened the door and the four of us filed in: The human, the vampire, the hybrid and the wolf. "What is this, the United Nations?" He beamed. That comment, hopefully, would be lost on Dan.

Beside Billy on the sofa and holding his hand, sat a small woman with short brown hair cur into a neat, sleek bob.

"Maggie." Continued Billy. "Let me introduce you to the cousin of Charlie's son-in-law. This is Vanessa Masen."

"But you can call me Ness." I added, reaching forward and shaking her hand. "Pleased to meet you."

"Pleased to meet you too. I'm Margaret Berry and you can call me Maggie." I liked the look of her. She looked past me at my friends.

"Oh, yeah. These are my friends. This is Dan."

"Hiya." He replied, lifting a hand in greeting.

"He's from England." I explained.

"That sounds like an excuse for something?" He asked, smirking.

"It explains all the knucklehead stuff you do." replied Jake, grinning at him.

"Knucklehead? I don't do knucklehead stuff."

"Really?" Jake smirked. "And that lame excuse for surfing would be…?"

"Ah! Well, see; us Brits are deliberately not good at everything. There'd be no room for the rest of you at the Olympics, if we let our general awesomeness out for all to see." This raised a laugh from everyone.

"And this is Jane." I said. "She's up for a few days from Portland."

"_I'm_ from Portland!" exclaimed Maggie. _Oh shit!_ Of all the places she could be from. "Well, I haven't been there for nearly forty years, but I was born there." I tried not to sigh audibly. "It's a great city; I must go back there one day."

"Yes, it is a great city." said Jane in her high, girlish voice. "We've been there three years now and I love it! It's so nice to meet you."

"And you."

"So, what are you doing dripping water on my carpet?" Billy looked at me through narrowed eyes, but there was no malice, they still twinkled.

"Ah, yeah." Said Jake. "I invited them back to change; Jane's gotten a little cold out there." Billy's eyes widened as from the corner of mine I saw Dan's hand go protectively around Jane again. We had to get them apart as soon as possible.

"Yeah?" Said Billy, I saw he was playing along. "Well, that's what happens when you will do idiotic things like surfing in March."

"We've been cliff diving too!" Said Jane.

"That's fun. Not done it myself for quite some time. My jumping days are over. Anyway, bathroom's through there."

"Come on Jane." I said, seizing the opportunity to speak to her in private.

I closed and locked the bathroom door. I raised my eyebrow at her waiting for her explanation, but all I got in return was the idiotic grin of the _just been kissed._

"Are you going to explain?" her eyes looked like they were away with the fairies. "Who started it? I didn't see."

"He did."

"Oh crap."

"It was the most wonderful moment of my life." She breathed.

"I really don't wanna hear this…"

"Shhh! You're spoiling the replay." She closed her eyes, lips parting in remembrance.

"That's enough!" She opened her eyes. "Jane you know you can't do this. If you let him kiss you away from the cold of the water, there will be nothing you will be able to use as an excuse for your temperature, let alone how different you'll feel to him."

"I know that." Her shoulders visibly slumped.

"You have to go back to Portland and you have to stay in Portland." Jane punched her fists down and stamped her foot in frustration.

"Damn it! I get him to notice me and then I have to give him up!"

"I'm sorry, but I don't make the rules, I just have to live by them." How ironic that the Volturi's enforcer was now struggling with the rules she'd spent countless centuries getting other people to stick to.

"I _hate_ the rules!"

"Go complain to the Volturi then."

She sighed deeply. "I get it now. I understand why all those people could not see why they were doing anything wrong." Jane sunk down onto the edge of the bath. "I just want him to know me."

"Excuse me? Earth to Jane? You're a _vampire_! Open that particular can of worms and we'll have your replacement down on us faster than you can say boyfriend! I can't say they'll be particularly lenient on you; or me for that matter. Both of us should know better, and you especially! Come on, we'd better get changed."

"I'm going to have to spend the next thousand years apologising to everyone." Jane looked like the weight of the world was on her shoulders.

"Well, at least you know now. Stand up, let me do your zip." She got off the side of the bath and I undid the zip on her wetsuit. "I know you want to be with Dan I'm not doubting that, but surely you can see the difficulties here? It isn't just a matter of being with him. If he touches your skin he will know instantly that you are not human. You know the rules about humans being aware of our existence and you know, better than anyone, the peril you're in from the Volturi if you cross that line. Do you really want to put Dan through all that?"

"No. Besides, this is different. The last time, with Edward and Bella there were seven of them. This time there's only two of us. We don't stand much of a chance and I guess I'm not Aro's favourite person right now."

"That's what I mean, we're a bit outnumbered."

"I can't help but think back to what Edward and Bella must have done here." She mused.

"Please don't bring them into this."

"Obviously Bella must have found out at some point."

I thought back to what Jake had said earlier today. "She found out through the Quileute legends, I think. Jake said something about that earlier."

"I'll talk to him about it. Perhaps we can go that route too."

"Jane. _Please._" There was pleading in my voice.

"You don't approve?" she said sadly. "You don't want Dan and I to be together?"

"No, it's not that." How could I explain myself without getting it out wrong and upsetting her? "Jane, I'm really struggling with my family right now. And, perhaps just for a little while, now that Jess has finally moved away from obsessing about vampires; I'd be really grateful if this place could be a vampire-free zone. That's not to say that I want you to go, I don't. But I'd rather Dan didn't find out what you are right now. I need a break from it all. There is so much going on and all I want to do is focus on being human. Can you understand that?" She nodded. "By all means email him, call him and spend every night in his bedroom if you want, but please; I'm asking you not to tell him the truth.

"I'm the only one who knows about his feelings for you; he can't admit them to anyone else without getting ridiculed, because of how young you appear to be. I really don't want to deal with the questions if he did find out. I don't think I can cope with it right now."

"But you can just rubbish what he says and tell him there's no such thing as vampires."

"It's not that easy Jane; you know that. Humans are not stupid and Dan's a very logical person. He may not believe in vampires but he'll notice that what's under his fingers doesn't feel right and if I know him, he'll question that. Please, Jane, just for a while. Please give me some space?"

She nodded. "OK."

"Thank you."

There were Jake's footsteps outside and he tapped on the door. "Come on girls, people are getting desperate out here."

"Be right with you!" I called back.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter ****Seventeen: Fractures**

Jane did go to Portland, literally. I think she was trying to prove to me how serious she was about making a go of things with Dan. At the end of Spring Break, she took herself off down to the city, to research a fictional life for herself. She even did it the human way, getting on the bus with a suitcase and a hotel reservation. We compiled a checklist of things she'd need to know if she was living the life of a fourteen year old girl. I got her a cell phone and soon came to regret it. There wasn't an hour of the day when my phone wasn't getting a text message or a call from her. I had to remind her that I slept and didn't appreciate calls at 3am.

With the immediate crisis of Jane blowing things out of the water with Dan under control, I could finally try and catch up with Jess. In the interim, she'd slipped further away from me and she was now almost unrecognisable from who she was in September. She was quiet, withdrawn and in unguarded moments I thought I saw mild panic in her eyes. She wasn't ever unfriendly, if you spoke to her she would talk quite happily; but there was none of the chatter anymore. She only radiated preoccupied silence.

One Monday in May, I noticed that a gold signet ring had appeared on the middle finger of her right hand. It had a metal clip stretched across the back of it to make it small enough to stay on her finger. It was a plain oval with the initial 'R' inscribed on it; Randall's no doubt. It looked very old and the initial was worn away almost to nothing. She played with it constantly, turning it around and around on her finger in an almost nervous way.

"Did Randall give that to you?" I asked over lunch, indicating to the ring.

"Yes. It was his Dad's."

"You saw him this weekend?"

"Yes."

"How is he?"

"Fine." One word answers where once I'd have had paragraphs.

"Is he busy?"

She nodded. "He's gone up to Canada this week; he's doing some work for the _Calgary Herald_."

"More music reviews?"

"No, actually; he's trying to diversify. He's doing some travel pieces for them, reviewing some new hotels."

"Sounds good."

"He says it's boring, but it pays the bills."

Zak and Dan arrived at our table then and Zak was grinning from ear to ear.

"Good news! We have a gig in Olympia." Jess perked up at this.

"Excellent! When? You do know we're not here for the last two weeks of June?" she reminded him.

"I do and this is for July 11th. Also, we've been booked to play at the Forks 60th Anniversary celebrations on August 30th."

"August 30th?" I pulled a face at that. That was Grampa's 50th birthday. I was kind of hoping we could do something special for that, if I was speaking to my family by then.

"Problem Ness?"

"It's Chief Swan's birthday that day."

"I'm sure he won't mind if you skip the party for a while. You won't be far anyway."

"Why, where is it?" asked Jess.

"Here, in the gym."

"Urgh! Playing in that smelly old thing? It's worse than The Shed. Are they not having it outdoors?"

"You can't rely on the weather here, even in August."

"True, we arrived here in August and it didn't stop raining until September." Jess fished a pen out of her bag and scribbled the dates onto the back of her hand.

"Dan's been working on some new stuff; we're going to get a go at it tomorrow night. I think we'll be able to ditch the cover songs and play all our own material by the Olympia gig." Zak looked over my head and wrinkled his nose.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Naomi. She's in the line."

"Things not good with you two?" Asked Jess.

"No." He sighed and looked uncertain. "It's not a great time, I have finals soon, I want some time with the band and there's a load of other stuff. I can't give her what she wants…" He tailed off.

"Dump her." Said Jess, quite matter-of-factly.

Zak pursed his lips. He seemed anxious and unsettled. "I don't know… I think it's me. I do like her as a friend, but the other stuff? I wish she'd back off."

Dan's cell phone beeped and he pulled it out, read the message and blushed. He looked at me as he put the phone back in his pocket. Obviously it had been from Jane. He gave a big sigh and a secret smile played at the corners of his mouth. The others had no idea and if I had my way, they never would.

Ricky walked over with his tray of food and sat down next to me.

"We got the gig in Olympia." Said Zak.

"Great news! And did you tell them about the Anniversary?"

"Yep! I think we should keep looking further afield now."

"How about getting some gigs in Portland?" Suggested Dan – there were no prizes for guessing where his head was at.

"Great idea!" enthused Zak. "Do we know anybody down there who could give us the heads up on the best places to target?"

"I…er… Ness knows somebody in Portland." Nicely turned around Dan, I thought.

"Yes, I'm sure I can get some recommendations from them."

"What about Seattle?" said Ricky. "Jess, what about that Journalist guy you know? Would he be able to give us some places or even vouch for us? He's been really supportive."

"Yeah, I can email and ask."

"I'd like to speak to him sometime, "Said Zak. "He must know almost everyone who runs a music venue in the Pacific Northwest. Useful guy to have on speed dial. Do you have his number?"

"Possibly; somewhere, on an old email." I caught her eye and she raised an eyebrow at me. The status of their relationship was obviously not public knowledge and neither, it seemed, did she want it that way. Why all the secrecy? It was an itch I wanted to scratch.

With Seth and Anna's wedding on the horizon, I decided that it was time to sort out my hair. I'd spent the last six months growing out the purple dye job and it had been fun being purple, but walking around with two-tone hair hadn't been great. I opted for a colour close to my own and got some golden highlights woven through, so it could grow out less conspicuously. Alice would be pleased.

Jane and Dan set up an amusing stereo effect in my life, with each one reporting on the other or asking about the other on an almost daily basis. They were conducting an intense online relationship, with Dan mostly none the wiser that the object of his affections was spending two nights a week in his room. But Jane was getting bolder by degrees and I couldn't help but laugh one day when Dan complained that his home must have a poltergeist.

"It tidies up." He said as we waited for the others one lunch time. "I left a stack of sheet music on the floor; I kicked it over, I know I did. And then this morning it was neatly stacked on my desk."

"Is it your Mom?"

"She doesn't venture into my room; she says it's a biohazard. She may have a point, it's a bit rank. I must tidy up."

"Why don't you leave a note out for the poltergeist, ask it to tidy up for you?" I could just imagine the shock on his face if he did and Jane actioned it overnight.

"Yeah, leave a note out for the spectral maid service."

"Perhaps the poltergeist likes you and wants to take care of you?" I smirked.

He leaned forward and whispered. "Knowing my luck in falling for a girl I can't date in public, a ghost fancying me is entirely possible."

I snickered. "Hey, don't worry. Once she hits eighteen nobody's going to care." I offered; although he'd be waiting a long time for that to happen.

"Yeah. There's only three or four years difference and honestly Ness? She comes across as much older than that. She's very knowledgeable. It's just a pity she looks so young."

"I know."

"I can't wait to see her again. I'm seriously thinking of going down for a few days in July." Uh oh. Time to manage things again.

"Maybe I could save you the hassle and invite her up?"

"Would you? That would be fantastic! Ah Ricky's on his way over. Did you hear that he's split with Chrissy?"

"No? Ah, that would explain why she was in tears yesterday. It's a difficult time, finals are so close and everyone's getting so tense. This'll be us next year."

"Don't remind me." Ricky sat down across from me.

"Hi guys." He sighed.

"I'm sorry to hear about you and Chrissy." I said.

"Yeah, it was coming. Things haven't been good for a while."

Chrissy did not go quietly into the night. In fact it all blew up in Ricky's face about a week later. She marched into the workshop where we were rehearsing, eyes red from crying, carrying a small stack of his stuff and clearly here to say her piece. She ignored the rest of us and went straight over to the drum kit.

"There's your stuff and by the way; I'm pregnant." She turned on her heel and marched out. You could have heard a pin drop. A low oath came out of Ricky's mouth the rest of us couldn't bear to look at him. He got up, placed his drumsticks on the snare and followed her out. The door slammed behind him leaving the rest of us standing in awkward silence.

"Is it just me?" Jess asked, "Given it's the twenty first century and the amount of information there is out there about birth control methods, I find it hard to understand how any girl gets pregnant by accident."

"None of them are one hundred percent effective." said Dan.

"Yeah, but even so, there's no excuse. I mean Mum and Dad only had the two of us. We were planned and they only wanted two."

"I think that might be less down to family planning and more to do with you being an impossible baby and the experience scarring them for life."

"Oh ha ha!" Jess stuck her tongue out at her brother.

"Poor Rick. His finals start next week, how the hell is going to focus with that bombshell. What a time to pick." Dan shook his head.

"It was deliberate." Said Zak. "Inflict maximum damage."

"You think?" I said. "Chrissy wouldn't do that."

"Oh she would." Zak sighed. "Ricky's not going to be in any fit state when he gets back. Let's call it a night." Zak pulled off his guitar strap.

The Forks grapevine worked quickly and by the time I returned from school the next afternoon, the news had reached Leah, who was only six weeks away from the birth of her own baby and generating her own gravitational field. She wasn't huge but she just seemed to loom large in whatever room she was in, which made it unpleasant to be in the same space as her. I hadn't sat in the living room and watched TV for months – that was her domain. Neither had Charlie; he'd taken to watching the wall-mounted TV in the kitchen.

She padded into the kitchen as I was pouring myself coffee to take upstairs.

"I hear your ex got his girlfriend pregnant." I didn't reply. "Good job it wasn't you. God knows what sort of freak you'd give birth to."

"That's rich coming from you. When do you start digging your den?" I snapped. The phone rang. Leah, who was stood right by it, ignored it. I flitted over and snatched it off the hook. "Hello?"

"Is Charlie there?" It was an unfamiliar but friendly woman's voice on the other end of the line.

"No, he's down at the station."

"Oh, yes, of course. Who is this?"

"Ness."

"Oh yes, Edward's cousin. Hi, it's Renee, Bella's Mom?" My heart rate accelerated, I'd never spoken to my other grandmother before. "You might be able to help. Is everything OK between Edward and Bella?"

"Yeah, as far as I know." I knew nothing. I hadn't spoken to them since Christmas and no one had been in a tearing hurry to contact me. Actually, that was a lie. Apart from Edward they'd all been in touch, but I'd ignored my Mom and given one-line answers to emails to the rest of them, just to make sure they didn't turn up _en masse_. Why would she be asking if everything was OK, though? Perhaps she knew something I didn't. "Is everything alright?" I asked her.

"Oh I don't know," she sighed. "It's probably me worrying over nothing; but Bella called last night and she sounded depressed. Kind of suggested things weren't great between her and Edward. I wanted to know if she'd said anything to Charlie about it, she's so rarely in contact with me these days."

"He's not said anything and I haven't spoken to her recently. Should I ask him to call you?"

"Please. He has my number. And how are you, Ness? Are you liking Forks?"

"Yeah, I'm settled, I've made friends here and I'm doing OK in school." This was so surreal, she had no idea who I truly was to her and to finally speak to her was odd. She was a very familiar stranger.

"I was sorry to hear the circumstances of why you're there, but it's exactly like Charlie to help out like that, he's a good guy. The rain doesn't get to you?" She laughed. "Always got to me, I'm a sun girl."

"I don't mind it; New Hampshire wasn't the driest place, either."

"I'm always trying to get Bella down here, but she doesn't like the sun. If you're ever in Galveston, you should drop by." Renee's husband was a baseball coach there.

"Thanks for the invitation."

"Anytime! Tell Charlie I called." I finished the call, replaced the receiver and stood there still holding it, stunned that I'd finally spoken to her. And then the worry took over when I thought about what she'd said. The phone rang again.

"Hello?"

"Nessie? Please don't hang up on me."

"Mom?" The next bit was out of my mouth before I remembered that I wasn't speaking to her. "Is everything OK with you and Dad?" There was a sigh.

"Did my Mom call you?"

"Yes, just now. She wanted to speak to Grampa. Mom, is everything OK?" Again, I heard her sigh.

"No Ness; it's not."

Mom and Dad had gone their separate ways. Whatever had transpired at Christmas with me, seemed to have been the catalyst for the gulf that had opened up between them. In the end, Mom had decided she needed a break from him and was calling from a hotel in Edmonton, Alberta. This whole year had been wrong she said and things hadn't been great since they started their courses in Dartmouth. It had just got worse and even more so after what happened at Christmas. Dad had refused to talk about it and had taken to spending a lot of time on his own.

They were all due to meet up again at Seth's wedding in a couple of weeks time. Right now, only Alice was aware their marriage was in difficulty and she'd said she wouldn't tell anyone else until they'd had a chance to work it out. Mom was going to meet up with Dad the day before the wedding and they'd travel in together, so as not to arouse suspicion amongst anyone else. But she felt it only fair that I knew.

She wanted to know if she could come and spend a couple of weeks in Forks after the wedding; so we could have some Mommy daughter time and do some stuff together. She'd missed me and I'd missed her, more than I'd allowed myself to admit. Maybe while she was here we could talk about the Jake thing too, I'd like some answers on that. But if she and Dad weren't together and she was in Forks, maybe she would go back to Jake? I wasn't the praying type but I decided that whatever the problem was with Dad, I'd pray that they could sort it out before they got here. Jake and Mom together would be too much. I could not live in a place where my Mom was with another guy and certainly not Jake. Everything about it screamed 'wrong.'

I sat in my room slightly numb from the news. The one relationship I could have staked my life on had fractured apart and I felt even more adrift in this sea of uncertainty. There wasn't one bit of stable ground beneath my feet anymore. Just like when the cliff had given way beneath me, I felt as if my life were crumbling around me and I was falling; no, _plummeting_, to the ground.

Grampa stuck his head around my bedroom door.

"Hey, what's with the long face?" I didn't want to burden him with more tales of broken relationships; he had enough of his own to deal with.

"Oh it's nothing, just thinking about the whole Ricky and Chrissy thing."

"Yeah, I heard about that."

"You look tired, Grampa."

"Yeah, long day. Bad day to be honest." He came into my room. "Ness, I hate to have to do this. I know you're probably in a better position than most to defend yourself, but we've had four attacks in the local area this last month and I'd be happier if you carried one of these, until we get this person caught." He handed me two personal alarms.

"Ok."

"One's for Jess. As you two are so fond of late nights in Port Angeles, I think you need to know that the streets there aren't safe right now." There was a knock on the front door. "I'll get that." He made his way downstairs and I peered from one of the top steps at the visitor in the doorway. It was the former Church Pastor, David.

"I was in the area, just called to see if Sue was in."

"She's not back from work yet. Come in." I disappeared back into my room and tried to settle down to homework but I couldn't. The unease within me was palpable and my stomach was churning. I needed to get out for a while.

I ran down the stairs. Grampa and David were sat on either side of the kitchen table. Leah was stood between them with an odd look on her face, one of triumph? Who knew what went on in that woman's head?

"I'm going out for dinner." I said, grabbing my jacket off the peg. Grampa would know what I meant.

"Ok, I'll see you later." I jumped in my car and was just pulling away when Sue arrived home.

I drove to the Cullen house, aiming to park up and run over to see Jane - see if she wanted to hunt with me. However, when I arrived, I saw Seth and Jake circling the house. I jumped out and ran over. Jake phased back to his human form, but I didn't need him to tell me why he was here, I could smell it. We'd had a vampire visitor.

"Familiar?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Not a scent I've come across before. I don't know who this is."

Seth appeared. "It might not be anything to worry about," He said. Seth was ever the optimist. "Perhaps it was an old acquaintance wanting to catch up. It might not be related to the disturbances within the Volturi. Did you hear that they replaced Jane?"

"No."

"Carlisle called me yesterday." said Jake. "Eleazar's contact told him that Aro has a new guard member. Pavel he's called. The contact called him a brute."

"Lovely." I sighed. "I'll let Jane know." I wondered why Carlisle hadn't called me and then decided he'd been right to do that. It was more useful to call Jake straight away; calling me would only induce another delay in the news.

"Are you OK Ness?" asked Jake. "You look glum."

"It's nothing; it's just been a long week."

"There's hope on the horizon. Two weeks tomorrow it will be the wedding of the century." He grinned at Seth. "I'm spending this next week working out exactly what we'll be doing for his bachelor party." Jake's eyes flashed with dangerous amusement and I cheered up instantly, imagining the shenanigans they would get up to. "Do you mind if we borrow your Grampa for the night?"

"As long as you bring him back."

"Oh we'll take _good_ care of him." Jake grinned.

"I bet you will." I smiled. I'd get ready to receive what came back. Jake turned serious again.

"We'll scout things out around here, make sure the vamp's not still in the area. I take it you're off hunting?" I nodded. "You have good night."

We said our goodbyes. The pair of them phased and slunk back into the forest. I inhaled the scent of the unfamiliar vampire, checking it carefully against absolutely everyone I knew. No, I didn't know this person. We'd hardly sent out change of address cards, but our friends knew where we were. I just hoped this was a friend and not a foe.

When I got back, the house was rocking. I got out of the car and our neighbour Mr Johnson was outside, looking at the noise coming from the house.

"He may be the Police Chief, but you get him to turn that racket down, Missy. People are trying to sleep around here." I nodded and hurried indoors. I was almost flattened by the wall of sound. My Grampa had dialled the stereo all the way up and was rocking out; playing air guitar to Led Zeppelin. He hadn't noticed I'd come in and I stood in the hallway watching, unsure whether I should still be here or not. He bent to take a slug of one of the many bottles of beer on the coffee table and he caught sight of me. He eyed me with amusement and lifted his bottle to me in celebration.

"Party for one." He said, I read his lips, but I his voice was indistinct above the noise of the track. It finished and he went over to the stereo and turned in down to a reasonable level, before the next track started. I noticed that the living room was strangely bare. Leah's stuff was gone. Perhaps that's why he was celebrating.

"Has Leah gone?"

"Yep." He grinned. "and Sue. It's just you and me from now on."

"_What_? What happened?"

"Well, it turns out…" He was fairly drunk and had a slight slur to his words. "…that Mr Pastor guy has been having an affair with Sue. And now he's left his wife, because he can't live without Sue. So I told him he was welcome to Sue and gave them a hand moving her stuff out."

"Wow."

"Hence the party for one."

"Yeah, Mr Johnson said to turn it down."

"He can go to hell; I've been here longer than he has." My Grampa blew a raspberry. A laugh burst through my lips. "I'd offer you a beer, but it's illegal and alcohol and you are a toxic combination. Although if Johnson complains again I might despatch you round there for a late night snack."

"So you're not sad?"

"No. It's been a miserable few months, I feel like a weight's been lifted off me. I'm going to party like it's… what's that Prince track? Nineteen Ninety Nine?" He started singing it and jigging about, I hid my eyes behind my hand. "Don't you cover your eyes young lady, I can strut my stuff with the best of them. Have I got that track anywhere?" He wandered over to his CD collection. "Have you got it on your iPod? Or is yours still full of your Dad's Bing Crosby crap?" I pulled it out of my jeans pocket.

"No, I have it and hey, don't diss Bing Crosby. He's good."

"He's old - and dead - like your Dad." He snickered. "Me? I'm on the threshold of spring chicken compared to him." I shook my head in amused disbelief, went over to the stereo, stuck my iPod on the dock and selected the Prince track.

"Right rock star girl, you can dance with your Grampa." I smiled. After the couple of days I'd had, it seemed right to have a party this Friday night. I tweaked up the volume and decided I'd deal with Mr Johnson if he dared to complain.

The next morning I was about to pull my pyjama top off to get dressed, when I caught sight of Jane in my mirror. I wheeled around.

"Don't you ever _knock_?"

"I came in through the window."

"Jane, Human 101, use the _door!_"

"Sorry, bit of a rush. I had an exciting night at the Taylor's house. Jess had a nightmare and woke the whole house up."

"Is she ok?"

"Oh yes, she was asleep again when I left a few minutes ago, I peeked in through her window."

"A few minutes ago? Why so late?"

She giggled. "I got trapped under Dan's bed. He was awake the rest of the night after Jess woke him up. He very nearly saw me." She giggled again, but it was no laughing matter.

"Jane! That's serious; we talked about this. What was Jess' nightmare about?"

"I don't know. She woke up screaming 'don't ever leave me!'"

"Oh, that's a line from one of her favourite episodes of _Vampire Nights_. The one where Alric decides he's put Christianne in too much danger and decides to leave. She always cries at that bit. I wonder if she's watching it again. Maybe things are on the slide with Randall? So, you were trapped under Dan's bed for half the night, what a hardship for you." I said wryly.

She smirked. "It was so funny. I was glad I had my cell phone on silent, he started sending text messages to me at half six this morning. He thought he was having a conversation with me in Portland and sent one that said 'I wish you were here'. I almost laughed, I was! I was lying right underneath him! I wish I could have crawled out right there and been with him. I missed not being able to see him for all the time I was stuck under there with his crusty socks. Did you fix up when I'm coming to Forks again?"

"Yes, the second week of July."

"Six more _weeks_?" Her shoulder's drooped.

"He's not back from England until July 7th and it's only the week after that. It's hardly a long time. Oh, and my Mom's going to stay on after Seth's wedding for a couple of weeks, so she'll need the cottage. Maybe it will help you feel closer to him if you go stay at the Taylor's house while they're away? You can be their unofficial house sitter."

"Your Mom's coming down? You're speaking to her again?"

"Yes."

"Oh that's so great! I can't wait to see her again." I hadn't mentioned to her that Jane was here. I wondered what Mom would make of that?

"I don't know how I'm going to cope without him for two whole weeks while he's in England. I might go too."

"Oh no you're not! I'm not having you roaming around England unsupervised."

"I am from there, remember? I do know my way around and I'm not a child. _You're_ the child. May I remind you I have twelve hundred years more experience than you! You should trust me more. I've been here four months already and I've barely spent any time with him while he's awake. I can't take much more."

"You're supposed to be living in Portland, with your parents. What are we going to do? Fabricate an accident that conveniently wipes them out, so you have to move here?"

"It worked for you."

"It took a year of _planning_!" I shouted.

"I _want_ to see him, I can't possibly go without seeing him for six more weeks, two of which he'll on the other side of the planet. Ness, I've decided that I'm going to see him whether you like it or not!"

"_Fine_!" I shouted. "Do what the hell you want, Jane; but don't blame me when he puts two and two together and gets vampire."

"He won't."

"Wanna bet? He's not stupid, Dan's a smart guy, he'll work it out."

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." Jane headed for the window.

"Oh, and I saw Jake last night. They've gotten your replacement."

"My replacement?"

"Yeah, he's called Pavel and he's a brute, apparently. Be careful Jane, I don't want him here. I've had enough Volturi to last me a lifetime."

She didn't reply, ducking out of the window into the ivory morning light.

Sue and Grampa were the talk of the town and not in a good way. It was Mrs Cope who alerted me to the gossip that was circulating about them, one morning while I was waiting to use the copier in an adjacent office.

"Apparently he's a bit of a disappointment in bed." Mrs Cope passed on the news with obvious glee.

"The Pastor or the Chief of Police?"

"The Chief of Police."

"Ok, well I won't go applying for the vacancy then." A woman giggled, I cared not whom.

"Sue's warning everyone off him, she told me he should wrap himself in _Police - Do Not Cross_ tape. He's one black hole of secrets, apparently. And – get this - she said that we were to be wary of Ness, that she's _lethal_. She's always come across as a lovely girl."

"Lethal? What does she mean by that? She looks harmless."

"I don't know. Next time I see her I'll ask. Sue's gone up to Port Angeles, David's renting an apartment there. I might go up on the weekend and see her; she'll need all the friends she can get."

That much was true, but all the friends in the world would be no use to her if she made one move to expose the truth about what I was, or hurt my Grampa. If she did that, Sue Clearwater would know the _exact_ meaning of lethal.

It was Friday before I had the opportunity to talk to Jess properly. She'd seemed even more preoccupied this week – if that were possible. But by Friday she seemed suddenly more the usual Jess. I sat down opposite her at our usual table in the cafeteria.

"Hey Jess."

"Hiya!"

"What's up?"

"Nothing." She beamed. "Nothing at all. You?"

I resisted the temptation to reply with 'Everything.'

"A couple of things."

"Yes, I heard about Charlie. Mind you, it's a good thing, yes? You'd told me it was like living in a war zone. You can hardly be sad that's over."

"No, I'm not sad about that; I'm just irritated by the amount of gossip."

"A nice juicy scandal involving a former Church Pastor, the Chief of Police and a tribal chief from the reservation? People round here probably think Christmas came early."

"Thanks Jess."

"Oh you know what I mean. People love gossip; it makes the world go round, especially in a small town like this. I can't believe the price of gas going up gets people so animated. Americans really do not know what expensive is when it comes to gas prices. They should try living in the UK; you need a flipping mortgage to fill your car up."

I laughed. "You called it gas, not petrol."

"So I did! I'm going native at long last. I can't believe that in August we'll have been here a year, already. It's flown by."

I thought about the nightmare incident that Jane had reported the previous weekend.

"How are things with Randall?"

"Oh excellent!" The smile said there was nothing to worry about here. "In fact," She looked at me with eyes that flashed of something deliciously secret. "I have something to tell you."

"Oh yes?" I leant forward, finally the great secret that was Randall was starting to yield. She looked up over my head.

"Ugh, I'll tell you another time. Dan's on his way over. This isn't the stuff for ear-wigging brothers. I absolutely don't want my Mum finding out about this."

At that moment, as much as I liked her brother, I could have cheerfully batted him out the window. Randall would have to remain a frustrating enigma for a little bit longer.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter ****Eighteen: **Little Shocks

"Just put me on the sofa, I'll be fine."

I padded down the stairs as Jake guided my _very _drunk Grampa through the front door.

"I think I should get you upstairs to bed."

"Now Jake, as much as I like you, I'm really not that kind of guy." The pair of them laughed and I laughed too, which alerted them to my presence. Jake looked up at me, his eyes said he was every bit as drunk as Charlie was. Grampa tried to focus on me. "Hey Nessie! You still up girl?"

"It's hard not to be up with you two making that racket outside."

"Yeah, we were acting out something based on the Bible." Drawled Grampa, Jake rolled his eyes, obviously this wasn't the first time he'd heard this. "You've heard of the blind leading the blind, well this the drunk leading the drunk."

"Or dumb, leading dumber."

"Hey Jake, you're quite the comedian, there." Jake angled Charlie over to the stairs and I went down to help guide them up.

I looked at Jake. "Should I…?"

"Expedite matters? Good idea." I picked up my Grampa, ran up the stairs at Vampire speed and placed him gently on his bed.

"Woah! I'm getting travel sick in my own house."

"Goodnight Grampa. I'll bring you some water."

"Thanks. See you in the morning. Well no, perhaps the afternoon."

I closed the door on him and went out on to the landing. Jake was just arriving at the top of the stairs. He was swaying.

"Did you have a good night?"

"Yeah, Seth has been given a suitable send off into married life. It's a good idea we did this a week before the wedding, I wouldn't like to have his head in the morning."

"_His_ head? What about yours? You clearly weren't on the Sprite."

"I'll be fine." He gazed at me for the longest time, fixing me with a look that seemed to see right through every barrier I'd put up between us. "Nessie? You look lost, girl. You look like you want to be rescued from something. What's the matter? You know I'll help if I can."

"I'm ok." His look doubted the honesty of my reply. He was so perceptive. There was so much wrong in my life that I wasn't sure which bit I wanted rescuing from first. But he wasn't in a fit state to do any rescuing tonight.

"After Seth's wedding and after you finish school, let's go for coffee and you can tell me which bits of 'I'm ok' you want me to help you with first. Deal?" I nodded. "Good. Well, I'm going to get home and sleep this off." He made his way back down the stairs.

"Jake?" He stopped and turned back to look up at me. "Thanks."

"Anytime. You just say the word Ness; I'll come rescue you."

"My knight in shining armour?"

"More a guy in cut off denims; but, same thing. Night Ness."

"Night."

Finally, Charlie answered the phone by his bed. It kept ringing and ringing, somebody was being persistent. As I dressed, I half listened in to the conversation; it didn't sound good, it was work-related and then I was suddenly aware it was involving me.

"Yeah, I'll bring Ness down; maybe she can get her to talk. I'll be there as soon as I can." I heard him replace the receiver, slowly get up and take the few steps from his bed to my door. As he approached I opened it; he looked rough. "Hi. I'm going to need you to drive me down to Port Angeles County Hospital. I can't drive in this state."

"Sure. Is there a problem?"

He exhaled sadly. "I don't how to easily say this. Jess is in the hospital. Looks like the guy who's been attacking women got to her last night." Ice formed in my veins and chilled me to the bone.

"Oh my God." I breathed.

"That was Brian Taylor on the phone. Understandably Jess is traumatised and not saying anything to the Port Angeles Police. Susie's in a state and Brian wondered if I'd go down and help support them. He thought a friendly face for Jess might encourage her to tell the Police what they need to know to get the investigation going. I need to get dressed, have some coffee and then we'll go, yes?" I nodded.

"Grampa? The other girls he attacked? What will he have done?"

"His last victim is still in the hospital a month later. This guy's an animal."

We arrived outside Jess's hospital room and a female Police Officer, seated on a chair outside the door, greeted Charlie.

"I'll tell them you're here." She said and opened the door to convey the message. "You can go in." She pushed the door wider and I followed Grampa in to the clinical white room.

Jess was lying in a pristine white bed, face turned to the wall. Next to her, on the far side of the bed were Susie and Brian, faces devoid of colour and etched with emotion. Brian stood up as we entered.

"Charlie, I can't begin to tell you how grateful I am for this. Susie and I just don't know where to start."

"Well, first thing's first. How is Jess?"

Brian dropped his voice to a whisper. "Three cracked ribs, massive external and internal bruising."

"And she's said nothing, yet?"

"No. The Police Doctor that came to examine her says that's quite normal and that we should give her time." Charlie nodded.

"Yeah. Where was she found?"

"She wasn't. She got herself to the hospital."

"She got herself to the hospital?" Charlie sounded incredulous.

"Yes, walked through the doors of the ER and collapsed in the entrance."

"Couldn't have happened too far away, then?"

"She was at The Shed last night." said Brian. The Shed was not far away at all, it was quite feasible she'd walked to the hospital if it had happened in one of the alleyways nearby. Where had Randall been?

"Do the Police know this?"

"Yes, they've gone down there for the CCTV, see if they can pick out who she was with."

"Ok, well that will give them plenty to go on. Do you want me to go see what's happening?" Brian nodded and then turned his attention to me.

"Ness, why don't you go and sit with her. I think Susie could do with a break. We'll go and get some breakfast; not that I can eat anything right now, but at least we can make an attempt at it."

Susie and Brian left the room and I walked over to sit by Jess. As I came into her eye line, I struggled not to stare at her face; it was bruised and swollen. No wonder she had kept it averted from me, it was truly shocking to see what this person had done to my friend, let alone even think about the trauma Jess was going through. I sat down in the chair that her Mom had vacated and the pair of us looked at each other.

"Hi." I said softly. "I'm so sorry."

"Thanks for coming." She mouthed. From under the covers she reached out for my hand, her arm covered in bruises and scratches that looked like the tracks of fingernails. I held her hand, rubbing her knuckles with my thumb.

"Lame question I know, but how are you?"

"Very sore. It hurts to breathe. Cracked ribs."

"The Police have been in to speak to you?" She nodded.

"I can't really tell them what happened at the moment." She was struggling to speak with the swelling around her mouth. Whoever it was must have hit her with some force.

"Where was Randall?"

"He'd left for Seattle. I was walking back to my car."

"Does he know? Do you want me to phone him?"

"Would you? I don't know where my phone is right now. I think it might have gone to forensics."

"Do you know his number?" She nodded. I pulled out my phone and Jess called out his number while I entered it into my cell phone.

"Don't call him yet. I don't think he gets up until about midday."

"OK. I feel really guilty."

"Why?"

"Charlie gave me a personal alarm to give to you. I forgot." I'd let my friend down at the worst possible time.

"Don't worry about it." We sat in silence for a few minutes; I really didn't know what to say to her.

"Have they done all the… necessary things?"

She nodded. "I've been photographed and swabbed and examined, yes. It's all very undignified, but has to be done."

"Your Dad says they're looking at the security video from The Shed." She nodded.

"They're about to find out that I have a boyfriend."

"They don't know about Randall?"

She shook her head. "A twenty five year old? My Mum would go ape." Jess closed her eyes, wincing in pain.

"What's the matter?"

"My cheeks hurt to talk."

"Ok, perhaps I should go and let you rest."

"Before the inquisitors come back?"

"The Police?"

"No, my Mum and Dad. They're worse than the Police."

"They're worried about you. We all are. Jess, this is so awful, but we're all here to help get you through this."

She looked slightly embarrassed as if the proffered help was unnecessary.

"Thanks. I'm hoping they'll let me go home soon. My ribs are taped up so it's just a matter of recovering now. I'll see you when I get home?"

I kissed Jess on the forehead; she smelt of the familiar hospital soap products that Carlisle used to smell of. We said our goodbyes, Jess settled down to sleep and I went out in the corridor to wait for Charlie.

I figured he might be a while, so I left word with the Police Officer by the door and went out into the bright morning sunshine to call Randall. Jess had said to call later, but I figured he'd want to know as soon as possible. I selected the number and waited as it rang. It connected and went to an answer machine. The robot-voiced woman told me to leave a message after the tone.

"Hi, Randall? This is Jess's friend Ness. Listen, I'm calling with bad news. Jess was attacked on her way back to her car last night and she's in Port Angeles County Hospital. I thought you'd want to know. She's really bruised and has three cracked ribs. She doesn't know where her cell is right now, so if you want me to pass on a message, you can call me at…"

"Hello." A deep, soft voice came over the line. "Ness?"

"Randall?"

"Yeah. I was just listening to your message. I'm on my way over right now." I exhaled in relief. "Thanks for letting me know. Sorry I didn't get to the phone in time, I was asleep."

"Yeah, Jess said I shouldn't call before noon, but I'd figured you'd want to know."

"Yes. Could you tell Jess I'll be right over? And that I love her, very much."

"I will." I smiled. His voice was _very _attractive. No wonder Jess spent hours on the phone to him, he was like listening to melted chocolate.

I ran back inside to Jess' room, snuck in and over to her.

"Jess!" I whispered, loudly.

"I'm not asleep yet." She said, opening her eyes. I went to her side and knelt down.

"I called Randall; he's on his way over now."

"You spoke to him?" Her eyes flew open.

"Yeah, he intercepted the message I was leaving. He told me to tell you that he loves you very much." She sighed and her teeth pressed into her swollen bottom lip. "He has the most attractive voice. No wonder you spend hours on the phone to him." I said suggestively. That raised a smile from her.

"Everything about him is attractive." She said.

"Anyway, he's on his way."

"Thanks Ness."

"It's a pleasure."

"I hope you can meet him soon. I'd really like that."

"So do I. He sounds lovely."

"He _is_ lovely."

"And he loves you very much. Perhaps it's time you showed him off to your parents?"

She smiled; her eyes did not seem convinced. "One day, perhaps."

"I'll leave you now. Have some sweet dreams of Randall."

"That shouldn't be too hard."

Jess was discharged from hospital the next day, but her Mom banned everyone from visiting as Jess came down with stomach flu. Finally, on Friday I managed to see her. Her bruises were turning an unpleasant shade of yellow and several days in the bathroom had left her looking a wreck. She lay in bed exhausted, propped up by pillows and looking like death warmed up. A half eaten sandwich was on her bedside table.

"Has Randall been over to see you?"

"No, not since Sunday. I've spoken to him every day though and he'll be back tonight. He's gone to Houston." She sighed. "Houston, as in 'Houston we have a problem.'"

I laughed. "I know where Houston is, Jess; I've been there. Is there a problem in Houston?"

"No. He's gone to Houston to try and get some information to sort a problem out."

"What sort of problem?"

"Oh it's not a problem as such. He just went to get a bit of medical advice."

"Is he ill?"

"No. He's gone on my behalf, actually."

"To do with the attack?"

"Yeah. There's a specialist he wants me to see."

"That's good; you need some good support to get through this." She nodded.

"Yeah." She bit her lip and moved to get more comfortable. Jess looked at me for the longest moment, appraising me as if weighing something up in her mind. "Ness?" She looked me squarely in the eyes. "How good are you at keeping secrets?" My entire life was one big secret; one more wasn't going to make much difference.

"If you tell me a secret Jess, I promise to keep it."

"Regardless of what it is?"

"Regardless of what it is."

"Even if it makes you think badly of me? Even if you don't understand it?"

I nodded. "I promise."

"And you won't condemn me for it? Because I can't tell you everything, but I think you deserve to know this one thing. Hopefully in time I'll be able to tell you the rest, but right now; I can't. I don't want this to find its way back to the Police, OK?" Jess was serious and focussed. "If I tell you, promise on your _life_ that you will not tell Chief Swan."

"I promise I won't tell Chief Swan." Wow, this was big.

Jess ran her hands through her hair, gathering it over right shoulder and smoothing it repeatedly with her hands the way I noticed she did when she was nervous. She lifted her eyes back to mine.

"I wasn't raped. What happened? Well, I allowed it to."

"You allowed someone to do that to you?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"They didn't do it to me, it sort of just…happened. That's about as best as I can explain it."

"I'm… I'm sorry, I don't… understand."

"Oh Ness! Don't make me spell it out," Jess sounded in pain. "This is hard enough to admit to as it is." I took a stab.

"You went with a guy?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. And things got rough?"

Jess nodded.

"Ok."

"And Randall knows you went with someone else?"

"I didn't go with anyone else."

The penny dropped. "Randall did this?" I failed to keep the disgust out my voice. "Mr Nice Guy did this? Holy hell Jess, what are you getting yourself into here?"

"_Shhhh_! Keep your voice down! I knew you'd react like this, I wish I'd never told you now."

"Jess, are you going to turn into one of these women who _allows_ things like this to go on in their lives? Get away from him _now_!"

I can't leave him."

"Oh for heaven's sake, you're seventeen, you're not married with kids and tied to a house. Stop seeing him, right now! He's not good for you!"

"You don't know him!"

"I can see what he does, that gives me warning bells enough. Get away from him!" I pulled out my phone. "In fact, I'll call him right now and tell him exactly what I think of men who do this to women. It's sick Jess, he needs help!" She went to grab my phone off me, but I pulled it away from her and scrolled through until I got Randall's number.

"Don't do this, Ness, you will ruin everything. You have no idea what you're getting yourself into here. This is not what it seems. Hang up, please Ness, _Please,_ I am _begging_ you!" Jess started to cry, rocking back and forth. I cancelled the call and put the phone down on the bed.

"Explain to me why I should allow this man to continue to do these things to you?"

Jess sobbed. "Because I love him."

"Oh that's what they all say."

"He didn't do this deliberately; he's not vicious, he's not malicious, he's lovely and kind and sweet and gentle and there isn't a nasty bone in his body."

"But he landed you in the hospital Jess and worse; you lied about what happened to protect him. Men like this need to be stopped. This is _wrong_ Jess! Can't you see that?

"I'm sorry, but I can't condone you being in a relationship with a guy who does this. I don't care how fantastic he is or how good looking; I don't want you to have anything to do with him. Now I see why you've never been in a tearing hurry to introduce us to him, or tell your parents about him. I can't think they're going to approve. And you seriously want me to keep this a secret? Jess, you have three broken ribs and bruising. What's to say he won't do something worse next time?" Silence fell between us for a clear minute.

"I wish I'd never told you now. Ugh!" She got up off the bed, limped towards the bathroom, collapsing in front of the toilet and vomiting. I followed her in and got her a glass of water, handing it to her to swill her mouth out.

"That's a nasty bug you've got there."

"Mmm." She said spitting out a mouthful of water.

"Jess, what are you going to do?" She got up from the floor gingerly; turning to look at me, rubbing her stomach gently as she did so.

"I'm staying with Randall. I'm sorry, but he's a non-negotiable part of my life now."

"That sounds like you're going to marry him."

"One day I will."

"Oh Jess, what happened to you?" I riled. "Don't do this, it's stupid. How many times have you poured scorn on girls who do precisely this? You know you don't pick the first guy you go out with."

"This is different, you don't understand."

"That's what they all say. And you're damn right I don't understand. I don't understand what got into your head! It's like all your sense flew right out the window!"

"Maybe you'll understand if you met him."

"Nuh uh! I am not meeting this guy; I don't want anything to do with him."

"You're condemning him for something you don't understand. Believe me; if you knew him his action would make perfect sense. But as you're not going to give him the opportunity to explain himself, then that's a poor do. I expected better of you."

I scoffed. "You expected better of me? Well, ditto!"

"This is getting us nowhere. I'm tired. I need to get some sleep. I'm sorry Ness, there is so much more, but I can't tell you and after the way you've reacted, I don't think I want to tell you. You're just going to have to trust me when I tell you that I'm sticking with him."

"Well, good luck with that. Let me know which hospital to send the flowers to next time."

Jess and I did not part amicably and to relieve the tension I ran far and wide across the peninsula that night before I went to hunt. I didn't know what to do other than to keep telling Jess to get out of there, which was my gut instinct in all this. It just went to show that have a low, attractive voice was no indication of how good a guy was. I felt an idiot for evening commenting on that now.

Seth and Anna's wedding day dawned cloudy, as Alice predicted it would; therefore all the Cullen family would be in attendance at the wedding. Seeing my family again for the first since Christmas filled me with a mix of emotions. On one hand I would be pleased to see them, but on the other there was a whole load of stuff going on in my life that I didn't want to share with them. This latest bombshell with Jess had just added to the pile. I hadn't even caught up with Jane although as Dan hadn't been screaming down the phone to me, I guess she hadn't revealed herself to him, yet.

I also hadn't given a thought to my parent's attempt at reconciliation. I hoped that had gone well. It would be good to see Mom again; perhaps I could ask her advice about Jess while she was here.

Grampa went down to the reservation early to help set up. Considering the situation with Sue, it was good of him to go at all, seeing as David was now invited and he and Sue were nauseatingly 'loved up. I had remained behind, applying way too much make up and waiting for my family to arrive.

I'd just finished and taken a step back to admire the result in the mirror, when my cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hi ya Ness."

"Hi Jess."

"Randall needs to talk to you, urgently. Can we come round?"

"I don't want to talk to him."

"I know that, but he says it's really important that he speaks to you, face to face. He needs to explain things. And he needs some information from you."

"From me? What?"

"We'll be round in two minutes." Jess hung up the phone. I was instantly in a foul mood. I didn't want to be nice to this guy; to be honest I was very inclined to take him out back and have him as a late breakfast. How dare he treat my friend like this!

Two minutes later, in typical Jess fashion – the most typically Jess thing she'd done in months – she came through the front door, towing a man reluctantly behind her. The two of them stood in the hallway. I stood in the doorway of the living room.

"Introductions! Ness, Randall, Randall, Ness. Excuse me, I need to be sick!" Jess ran off up stairs. "Randall needs to find an Edwin Collins!" She called as she went. "Somebody told him you might know him. Oh I'm not gonna make it!" She wailed. I heard Jess hurl herself at the bathroom door, but I could not move from where I stood, staring in horror at the man in front of me.

"I need to find Edward Cullen as a matter of urgency." He said. "I've been told you can help me. I think, looking at your expression, that you might already know what the problem is."

I did. Randall was a vampire.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter ****Nineteen: **Spiralling

He removed sunglasses I knew he didn't need and looked at me with golden eyes. That was the small mercy in all of this.

"You're a vampire."

"Yes."

"Does Jess know?"

He nodded. "She put two and two together."

"When?"

"She told me on March 8th. That day will be etched on my memory forever." He smiled. From upstairs came the sound of Jess, retching. He glanced up there and then looked back to me, seriousness etched on his face. "Edward Cullen? How do I get in contact with him?"

"He'll be here shortly."

"Fortuitous. Did he know I was coming?"

"No, we're all going to a wedding." That sounded absurd given the circumstances.

"That saves precious time." He circled around the hallway. "My friends told me to look you up. I thought there was something odd the first time I saw you at The Shed. I now know exactly what that is." He fixed me with a serious look. "So, same question to you. Does Jess know?"

I shook my head. "I don't think so."

"You're well camouflaged. However, your scent is unmistakeably vampire."

"Who told you about me?"

"Some friends of mine - Peter and Charlotte. You know them I believe?"

"A little, they're more friends of Jasper and Alice's. You know Jasper and Alice then?"

"Jasper, yes; from way back. Alice? No, I've never met her."

"How do you know Jasper?"

"He created me." This news shocked me more than I knew it should. My uncle Jasper had lived a very different life before he joined our family, but to come face-to-face with such a vivid piece of his past was startling.

"He'll be here too."

"It will be good to see him again. We have a lot to catch up on. Our lives went in very different directions although they seem to have converged." Randall stood by the door, looking out onto the street.

"So I guess you want advice from Edward about the whole going out with a human thing, right?"

He shook his head, furrowing his brow at me. "I thought you of all people might be more clued in to what's going on here. Please don't tell me I need to spell it out?" Jess started to make her way slowly down the stairs, looking like death. Randall went over to meet her and wrapped a supportive arm around her waist. I looked at my friend. She was utterly exhausted and desperately ill, she shouldn't have come over here. "Jess, show her the stick, please." He said quietly. Jess reached into her cardigan pocket and handed me a white indicator stick. In the window were two strong blue lines. "Does that explain things sufficiently?"

I looked at Jess, unwilling to believe the evidence in front of me. "You're pregnant?" She nodded; a happy smile lit up her still-bruised face and the bottom dropped out of my world.

I started to gasp for air as panic gripped me.

"Ness? What's the matter? Jess pulled away from Randall and came over to where I was reversing back into the living room, away from her. She grabbed my arms and laughed, taking back the pregnancy test stick from me. Holding it between her two forefingers, she beamed at me. "I'm only pregnant; it's nothing to get panicky about, it happens to millions of women everyday." Randall came up behind her.

"Jess? Your friend understands better than most the implications of _us_ having a baby and why you need specialist help." Jess turned to face him. "She knows what you are?" He nodded and she turned back to me, her eyes wide. "You know what he is?"

I nodded. "He's a vampire." I said, trying to calm my breathing.

"You _know_, just like that? _How_ do know?" Jess's face had assumed the same shock as mine. My attention was distracted for a few seconds by the sight of a black Mercedes and a large Jeep drawing up outside. "Ness?" She said more urgently. "_How_ do you know that Randall is a vampire?"

I looked into her eyes and with as much truth and honesty as I could convey, I told her the first big truth about myself. "Because, my family are vampires and you're about to meet them." I gestured to the six people getting out of the two parked vehicles. Jess looked at them and then back to me.

"Your _family_ are vampires?" She looked shocked and confused. She pointed out the window. "They're vampires? Six vampires are coming into this house?" I nodded. She quickly went back to Randall and pressed herself to him.

"Jess, you have no need to be afraid of them; they are the same kind of vampire as I am. They won't hurt you; in fact, I'm hoping one of them can help you."

"Edward's not here yet, but Carlisle is. He knows every bit as much about this as Edward does."

"Carlisle? Yes, Peter said that if I couldn't find Edward, I was to ask for Carlisle."

The door bell rang. I went to answer it, steeling myself for who alone knew what reaction. I opened the door and Jasper was right there, with a huge smile on his face.

"My nose tells me that you have someone here who I haven't seen in a _very_ long time. He curved past me and into the hallway, stopping dead when he saw Randall. The rest of my immaculately dressed family, curious to see who the new vampire was, followed in behind him.

"Jasper!" Randall was clearly pleased to see his creator.

"Well, well. William Randall. Of all the places for you to show up."

"William?" Said Jess "_That's_ your embarrassing name? What's embarrassing about William?" She looked at him perplexed. He looked stunned.

"The embarrassing bit was that I couldn't remember what it was."

"You plum! How do you forget your own name?" She rolled her eyes and then looked back at him, anxiously. "So these are all vampires?" She said as quietly as she could to him, she didn't know we could all hear. He nodded, smiling at her. "And they're the same kind as you?"

"Yes, look at their eyes." I saw Jess turn and look at each one of the six vampires in front of her.

"Oh yes; gold." She pointed to the group. "And you're Ness's family?"

"Yes." replied Jasper. "We have that dubious honour." He turned and beamed at me.

"So; if you're all vampires and you're her family…" Jess looked straight at me. I was stood between Emmett and the door that I was still holding open. "Then what the hell are _you_?" Jess's face looked horror-stricken.

"Before I let Ness explain how she fits into all this, could I ask _you _some questions?" Alice said, moving closer to Jess. "Are you Quileute? Because you don't look it."

"No, I'm British."

"You must be Jess, then." said Esmé. "We've heard so much about you."

"Yes I am and I'm sorry, but I've heard absolutely nothing about you lot. Ness said you were dead."

"Technically, we are." Said Emmett.

"What are _you_, though?" continued Alice. "You don't smell like a hybrid, you smell human. So why can't I see you?" Jess's face told me that she thought Alice had lost it. Jess didn't know what kind of 'seeing' that Alice was referring to.

"Alice?" said Rosalie, shocked. "Look at what's in her hand. I think that might explain it."

Jess held out the indicator stick to Alice. "Oh… _Oh!_" Alice wheeled around in a flash to face me. "Renesmee Cullen, what the _hell_ have you gone and done now!"

I was stood in the doorway, still smarting from Alice's tirade against me. Rosalie had joined in too, before Esmé had told them to back off. One thing was clear; it was entirely _my_ fault that my friend's life was in such grave danger right now, I'd done nothing to prevent it. Alice and Rosalie could not believe that I had stood back and watched my friend fall into a relationship with a vampire, without warning her of the very great risks involved. It was Carlisle, sat on the sofa beside her, who was now explaining to Jess that her newly discovered pregnancy, was not going to be a blissful nine months of padding around in smock dresses and choosing paint colours for the nursery.

"I can make no guarantees about you getting all the way through this unscathed. It's a rapid and dangerous process and may cause a lot of internal damage. Hybrid babies are strong and their human mothers are incredibly fragile in relation. Your baby is growing at a rapid rate; you can already feel it can't you?" She nodded. "This whole process will take no longer than 28 days and you are already a week in to that. It's your call Jess; but if you decide to go ahead, then please do not do this under the misapprehension that it will be easy. Everything about it will be fraught with danger for you, especially the birth."

"But you're an expert, right? You've done this lots of times before."

"Expert is a relative term in this regard. We have done this precisely _once_ before."

"_Once_? And did the baby survive?"

"Yes."

"Was it a boy or a girl?"

"A girl."

"What happened to her?"

"She grew up, went to Forks High School and met a girl called Jessica Taylor last September." Jess turned to me open-mouthed.

"You?" I nodded. "You're half human and half vampire?" I nodded again. Jess shook her head and scoffed. "Get away! You're making that up." Jess furrowed her brow at Carlisle. "She's as human as I am. There's no way she's a vampire, she doesn't even look like one."

"Jess, she is." said Randall. Jess turned to face him.

"No, she's not. She eats, a _lot_! She sleeps; she snores a bit for heaven's sake! Vampires don't do that. You don't sleep and you don't eat - well, food at any rate - and she doesn't feel like you do. You feel like I'm touching a marble statue, she just feels like everyone else."

"She is well camouflaged, but I assure you, she's half vampire."

"Why didn't you say anything to me before, then?"

"Because I only discovered that she existed on Thursday and I only met her a few minutes ago. She may not look like a vampire to you, but my senses tell me otherwise. Remember that I asked you if there was anything odd about her? Even from the back of the room at The Shed I could tell there was something about her that was making me wary of her. It was part of the reason that I had to keep my distance from you. I didn't know what she was. If I had met her, Ness would have immediately recognised what I was. It was why I was asking you to shower after you'd been with me."

"All that secrecy was because of Ness?"

"Some of it was, yes. There are other reasons for not letting the world at large know about us."

Jess looked at me, her eyes conveying emotions I didn't want to see. "You're a vampire, and you never told me?"

"I couldn't tell you." I replied, sadly.

"It's not something Ness would have shared with you. We have to keep our existence a secret." said Carlisle.

Jess looked at Carlisle. "Oh, I understand that bit." And then her eyes turned back to me, hardening as they did so. "All those months, I rattled on about Alric and Christianne and what I thought the vampire world might look like. What was I to you, an amusing diversion? Did you deliberately make friends with the sad addicted vampire fan girl because you latched on to me straight away? What were you doing, coming back here and laughing at me?" Jess face was like stone.

"I never laughed at you, Jess."

The phone rang.

"I'll get it," said Emmett and walked off to the kitchen.

"It'll be Edward and Bella, there's been an incident on the Tacoma Bridge." said Alice.

"Jess has always spoken of you with the highest regard." Said Esmé trying to smooth things between us. "She said you're wonderful."

"Wonderfully amusing no doubt."

"No, just wonderful." Jess looked deeply sceptical of Esmé's words and did not look at me in a friendly way.

Carlisle brought things back to matters at hand. "What is of paramount importance now, if you are going to go ahead with this pregnancy, is that we need to put a plan in place. You can't be around your family during this time. You are going to get very pregnant very quickly and there are other things you will need to do that cannot easily be concealed."

"But we're going to the UK on Monday."

"No you're not. You're not leaving Forks." He said, rather sternly for Carlisle. "Ok, we need a plan." He said, addressing the rest of the family.

I slipped from the doorway of the living room, almost colliding with Emmett coming back in.

"That was your Mom and Dad. They'll see you at the wedding; they're stuck in traffic on the Tacoma Bridge. They're trying to get to somewhere they can park up, so they can run the rest of the way in." He looked at me. "Hey, don't look so worried, we're here now, we'll take good care of your friend. We've done this before and it turned out just fine. And don't listen to what Alice was going on about earlier; she doesn't understand why you didn't know your friend was dating a vampire. I think she forgets sometimes that we don't all have her gift." Emmett rubbed my shoulders. "Jess is going to need you every bit of the way, so get back in there and man up."

He guided me back into the room and I went back to where I had been standing, whilst Emmett went to embrace Rosalie.

I looked over at Jess; she was still sat on the sofa. Randall had his arms around her and Esmé had moved to sit on her other side. Carlisle was talking to Randall, but Jess was not paying attention to what was being said. She was looking directly at me.

"Go away." She mouthed; eyes cold with hate and I slipped silently from the room.

I stood next to Grampa, with two empty seats beside me where Mom and Dad had yet to appear. They weren't going to make it to see Anna come down the makeshift aisle on her Father's arm. The ceremony and the reception were being held in marquees, situated on a promontory looking out over First Beach. The day was cloudy, but warm enough for humans to be in just shirt sleeves. Anna's simple ivory silk dress looked stunning against her caramel skin and she wore her hair loose, falling in a straight black curtain down her back. It was unusual to see the packs wearing more than just their cut-offs and I didn't instantly recognise Seth, or Jake stood by his side; but they both looked very handsome in their suits. They should wear clothes more often.

At the front of the groom's section, nine rows in front of where we were seated were Sue, David and Leah. Leah was holding hands with a man who I assumed was Greg. It looked as if they were having yet another attempt at a reconciliation; only weeks away now from the birth of their baby.

The other members of my family had arrived just moments before the service started. Six tense faces had slipped into seats some way behind where even we were sat, as we waited for Anna's arrival at the back of the marquee. I hadn't dared to make eye contact with them, afraid of what I might see, or in Alice's case, hear.

During the service, I gazed absent-mindedly at the back of Seth's head. My own head could not settle on anything to think about - the whole nightmare with Jess seemed too big for it to cope with. But what hurt more than anything; more than the discovery of Randall, her pregnancy or telling her some of the truth about me; it was the look she had given me that had wounded the most and had sent me spiralling into this pit.

I'd left the house to come to the wedding, leaving the rest of them working out how best to deal with the most immediate problem, which was enabling Jess to stay in the US, while her parents and brother went to the UK. Carlisle and Esmé would work on that. The Taylors were only going to be out of the country for two weeks – not enough time – so Rose, Emmett, Alice and Jasper had been tasked with putting in place a way to detain Brian and Susie in the UK. Somehow they needed to find a way to keep the Taylors out of Forks until after the baby was born. There was more to consider, but those two problems were the ones that needed immediate answers.

I managed to smile at Anna and Seth as they walked back down the aisle as husband and wife, but that was as much as I could get my facial muscles to do. I sat back down, sitting silently in my seat as the other guests started to make their way out of the marquee and over to the adjacent one for lunch. The party would continue there well into the evening. Charlie struck up a conversation with the people in the row in front of us, not people I knew. I chewed my lip; not knowing what to do or say and waiting for what? I didn't know.

I finally shuffled out behind Grampa and the people he was talking to. From brief snatches of the conversation that I tuned into, I gathered that they were members of Sue's former church and that they were discussing with Grampa their search for a new Pastor. Sue had been asked to leave, although knowing Sue and her unerring talent for turning things to her own advantage, she'd have told her friends that she'd resigned, or left as a matter of principle. Judging by what personal integrity the remaining members were going to insist on, whoever got the job would have to be as sinless as Jesus. They were looking for the impossible. Perhaps they should hire an emotionless robot? Perhaps I could do the job? That was a good description of how I was feeling right now - emotionless.

I picked at lunch, the rest of my family were distributed throughout the guests and were subtly picking at the food on their plates too. I sat next to Grampa and he was deep in conversation with Todd, his deputy, sat next to him. I periodically looked around for my parents; but there was still no sign of them. I checked my phone but there were no messages from them either. I selected Mom's number and sent her a message.

Are you on your way? N xx

It would give me an idea how long before Edward got here and I was toast. I'd let him down again and into my mind came that facial expression that I did not like. He would be beyond angry with me, for so carelessly putting another human life at risk and potentially causing untold distress to an innocent family if we had to organise the 'death' of their daughter. Not all these people could be Grampa, coping with and keeping the secret of both us and the Quileutes. For most vampire converts, the start of their vampire life meant leaving their old lives behind.

How would I cope if it all went the same way as my Mom, Jess becoming a vampire and having to live with the public aftermath of Jess's 'death'? How would I deal with participating in school tributes, crying crocodile tears and spinning endless lies in daily conversations? How would I cope witnessing the grief of her parents, brother and extended family; knowing full well that she was alive – of sorts – and under the care of my family?

The Cullens would take responsibility for her and introduce her to her new life, but would she choose to stay with them or even stay with Randall? Would she become one of the nomads? Would she choose our 'vegetarian' way of life or would she become a traditional vampire? Endless questions circulated in my head.

With the tables clear of food, a space was cleared for people to dance. On another table, Seth and Anna were gazing longingly at each other, in a brief respite from the countless numbers of people's hands they'd shaken and good wishes they'd received. Further along, Jake was in deep conversation with one of Anna's bridesmaids, a stunningly beautiful woman. He looked like he was hanging onto her every word. Her body was angled suggestively towards him, giving him a clear view of her extremely well endowed chest. Whatever she was saying was interesting enough to keep his eyes on her face. I chuckled, I knew few men who could resist the lure of glancing at such enticements.

I spotted little Claire all decked out in a party dress ducking under a table towards the back of the room. That suddenly seemed a great place to go sit. I got up from my chair and as I walked across the room, Grampa came towards me.

"Have you heard from Edward and Bella yet?" He was concerned.

"No, I sent Bella a message, but she hasn't replied." I pulled out my phone just to check that I hadn't missed it. "The traffic around Tacoma must be horrendous for them to be this late."

"Yeah."

Just then, tiny Edith, one of the oldest residents of La Push and a woman who was almost entirely spherical, came over to us; dragging a younger woman of similar stature, by the elbow.

"Charlie!" said Edith. "So good you came, especially after all that business with Sue." It was evident that Edith did not approve of Sue's actions; this cheered me. "Melanie here has a message for this young lady," she said, indicating to me. "Melanie has got a unique gift to tell people their futures. She's right every time."

"Well, I don't think Ness believes in all that stuff. As a matter of fact I don't either." Grampa was immediately wary, as I was that this woman could possibly say things that we really didn't want out in public.

"It can't hurt to hear it, Charlie and when she's right you can call and let me know." Edith smiled and turned to Melanie. "Go on; give your message to her." Edith pushed Melanie forward.

"I _think_ it's for her." Melanie hissed to Edith. "I'm not exactly sure Grandma. It could be for someone else; I might have gotten them mixed up."

"Well, give both of them."

"Ok." Melanie looked at me. "You'll fall in love with a blond stranger and the eyes in the aurora are his. Does that make any sense? I don't think that last bit's for you; I think that's for someone else, but I can't get a fix on who."

Grampa scoffed. "I'll keep an eye out for blond strangers for ya, Ness. Shall we book a church in the meantime? I just got myself friendly with one of the Deacons there."

I smiled at the woman. "Thanks, but no, but it doesn't make any sense, sorry." The aurora bit that she thought wasn't for me, made the most sense. Perhaps she meant that the eyes in the aurora were the eyes of the blond stranger I was going to fall in love with? Hmm… Maybe Emily was right? Maybe I did have a choice of who I married, after all. That cheered me at some sub-atomic level.

I carried on towards where I could see Claire's feet under an empty table. I lifted up the cloth and peeked in.

"Hi Claire. Could I come sit with you?"

"Yeah." She patted the ground next to her.

I got down on my hands and knees and crawled under the table, sitting cross-legged opposite the eight year old girl. She was wearing a bright blue dress and a white flowered hair band held her glossy brown hair back from her face. On her wrist was a woven bracelet; I had a similar one at home. It had been a gift from Jake for my first Christmas.

"I've got one of those." I said, pointing to the bracelet.

"Quil gave it to me. He told me it was his way of saying that he would always be my friend. I wear it all the time because I always want Quil to be my friend. But he can't come and play with me today because he has to look after one of the bridesmaids." Claire looked sad.

"One of them?"

"Yes. Anna told him that he's got to make sure that Stacey doesn't end up face down in the punch." I sniggered.

"That's a very responsible job." I said, trying, and failing not to laugh.

"Not as responsible as Jake's."

"No, Jake's the best man; he's got a lot to do today."

"Not that. Jake has to make sure that Tina's…" Claire pointed to her chest. "Stay in her dress. They escaped once." Claire joined in with my laughter, in that embarrassed way that small girls do when confronted with bits of women's bodies that they don't possess yet.

"Perhaps Jake would have to go catch them?" I said, playing along. This was the first bit of fun I'd had all day. "Where do you think they might go?"

"San Francisco!" Claire exclaimed and we laughed.

"Perhaps they'd go on tour? Where do you think they'd go next?"

Claire thought hard, tapping her index finger against her lips. "Dallas!" My phone beeped. Ah finally, Mom. I pulled it out and read the message, but it wasn't Mom. It was Dan.

I know you're at a wedding, but PLEASE call me ASAP. Beyond Urgent!

"Oh God." I exhaled. This was it. Jane had told him. Not both of them on one day. I felt like a punch bag, hit after hit after hit was coming at me and I didn't know if I could take anymore.

"Has someone died?"

"No, but _I_ might when my Dad gets hold of me."

"Have you done something really bad?" I nodded. "You should say sorry."

"I don't know where to start with how much I need to say sorry for."

"Have you done _lots _of bad things?"

"Yes. A lot of people are very angry with me and they're going to be even angrier when they find out about this."

"Maybe you should hide from them. When I do something really bad I go and hide. It took Mom a whole hour to find me once."

"Does it help?"

"No, I still got yelled at. Stupid really."

"I'd better go and call my friend. I'll see you later Claire."

I crawled out from under the table and stood up. My rose-coloured dress was all creased now. I shook out my hair, it had grown almost back to shoulder length and at the ends my ringlets were starting to form again.

All around me people were enjoying themselves. Grampa was over in the corner laughing with Billy and Maggie. Quil was keeping Stacey away from the punch and Jake was doing a good job making sure that Tina's breasts did not escape from her dress. There was no sign of my family and I felt utterly at odds with the happy smiling guests. I did not belong here.

I'd made such a mess of this year, got nearly everything wrong and seen the rest of it crumble to dust under my touch. This wasn't what I expected being a teenage girl to be like; it always looked so much fun in the movies.

Jess didn't want me around anymore, but my family would look after her, whatever happened. They'd deal with it or cover it up; either way my mess would be taken care of by people who knew what they were doing. It was only matter of time before they discovered Jane was here; they could manage her situation with Dan better than I ever could. I couldn't help wondering why Alice hadn't hunted me down already, to berate me for my failure there, too. But even she could only deal with once crisis at a time.

As for the nuclear fallout of a mess that was the relationship with my parents and their relationship with each other; there really weren't words to describe it. Perhaps I should just go hand myself over to the Volturi and let them kill me; it would save Dad the trouble. I was dead whoever got to me. I'd drawn that Monopoly card, the one that said 'Go straight to Jail, do not pass 'Go' and do not collect $200. I was complicit in two people discovering the existence of vampires, putting both of them in mortal danger and who knew what else besides. I was a liability. Whatever I did, whatever I touched, whoever I associated with, I'd messed it or them up. I was Renesmee Cullen: Walking Disaster Area. There was no 'Get out of jail free' card in my life.

I thought about what Claire had said before, about hiding. Running away was suddenly a very attractive option. And after all, it was what us Masens did best - run away when it all got too much. I was my father's daughter and it was only right and proper that I acted in a way befitting any member of our family.

I turned my back on the party and walked, in a straight line; out the marquee, out of the reservation and out of their lives for good.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter ****Twenty: **The Kindness of Strangers

If the blond stranger had wanted to marry me then he had an odd way of showing it. I gritted my teeth and summoned all my remaining strength to bite through the phial and pour its contents into the wound on my right thigh. I hadn't been fast enough to escape him and he'd caught me as I scaled a wire fence. It was at that point that I discovered that I came with additional defences; he recoiled and released me at the taste of my blood.

"Bleurgh! _Repulsive!_ What are you?" He spat the blood in his mouth back out at me, splattering the backs of my legs and the rose coloured dress I was still wearing from Saturday. The intensity of the familiar spreading fire caused me to fall from the fence and into a heap at the vampire's feet. I frantically grabbed for the phial around my neck, this time I had it. "I _said_; what _are_ you?"

"A hybrid." I choked out. I was in too much pain to say more.

"A what? A _hybrid_? Carlo will have to know of this!"

The partial wail of a Police siren at the street end of the alley scared him away and I managed to drag myself into the shadows to avoid being discovered. So this was what I had been reduced to; lying behind a foetid dumpster, administering the last hope of salvation to myself. In future, if he or any other of the city vampires caught up with me, there would be no way back. Tears ran down my face as I fought, not just the physical ice and fire within, but the overwhelming bleakness spreading through the core of me.

Tuesday had not been a good day.

But it was Saturday afternoon now and I was sat, hugging my knees to my chest, on a bench in a small park, reflecting on the week that had been. I was better, but I wasn't great. Once the ice had put out the fire and I could make my way back to my hotel room, I'd slept for a day; waking up still exhausted. I could do with a hit of human blood to restore my energy levels but the thought of what that entailed did not appeal to me. I could always steal from the hospital if I was desperate.

I felt like I needed to sleep for a year, something that was becoming a characteristic of my life since Christmas; or even before that if truth be told. I'd been chronically tired all year. No matter how much sleep I got, I still wanted more.

Also, my chest felt empty; my emotions had gone AWOL and I was numb. If everyone's emotions were a trace on a heart monitor, then I would be the one flat lining. There was no output there.

My blood splattered dress and heeled shoes had been replaced with more practical and hard-wearing hiking boots, cheap black jeans, a blue t shirt and a black hooded zip-up jacket. It may be June, but it wasn't exactly t-shirt weather for humans today and although it was sunny, there was a strong breeze coming in off the ocean. It ruffled my hair as I stared unseeingly across at a section of the city skyline.

Friday hadn't been good either, although at least no one had attacked me. I'd spent the entire day in a state of what my former best friend would have called 'meh'. That uncaring, disinterested, unsatisfying state of affairs that were now my days. Friday had been June 20th and that would have been my Dad's birthday. He had been born in Chicago in 1901; frozen in time by Carlisle at the age of seventeen and he was now one hundred and fourteen years old.

I'd spent yesterday trying to avoid all references to Dads and Fathers. Not an easy thing to accomplish when it was Father's Day tomorrow. Every store was offering the perfect way to tell your father just how much you loved him. For me, it would be a reminder of how far I had become alienated from mine.

The view I was looking at was on the tourist trail for the city, and the park was full of people taking photographs. Regular buses and strangely out of place British double-deckers, kept up the steady stream of traffic to my right. In front of me, on the grass were a group of four people, one of whom was rubbing the stomach of a gorgeous white West Highland Terrier. There were three other people sat with her; a middle-aged man, a woman and a young teenage girl. The girl joined in with the rolling dog and started rolling over in the grass herself. At one point the girl and dog were rolling in tandem, which finally coaxed a smile out onto my face. I envied her ability to have fun. Fun was something I'd forgotten how to have.

"Rolling around in the grass with a dog, how much more fun does a girl need in a day?" said a voice to my left. I looked up into the smiling face of a woman. The sun behind her head gave her blonde hair a halo effect. "Do you mind if I sit here?"

"No, not at all."

The woman sat down on the bench to my left and placed her woven, multi-coloured striped bag down in front of her.

"I thought I'd come and take a look at the view before I left San Francisco. I'm glad I did. Postcards don't do it justice."

We were in Alamo Square, looking at the _Painted Ladies_, the parade of beautifully decorated Victorian houses that stood in contrast to the modern, twenty first century city skyline beyond. I had to admit, it was an impressive view and it was what had drawn me up here today. I was still a tourist too, for the moment.

I hadn't decided whether I would stay in San Francisco. The destination had been arbitrarily chosen for me, as the first available flight I could get on at SeaTac. In one final act of messing things up, I had swung by the house on the way out of Forks to pick up my passport and to steal Grampa's new credit card and PIN number. The card had bought the ticket and I'd withdrawn as much cash as I could to keep me going. I was sure they had stopped the card by now. I would have to eek it out until I found a job; but for now, I had clothes on my back, a roof over my head, food when I needed it and a cell phone at the bottom of San Francisco Bay. I wouldn't need that.

But if Tuesday had been any indicator of my likely success, then running away hadn't been one of my smarter moves. To the catalogue of descriptions about myself - lost, alone, disconnected from everything and everyone - I could now add vulnerable, short on a decent supply of animal blood and now the unhappy target of a chatterbox woman. Great. Why do these people always assume you're in the mood for conversation?

"Are you a tourist?" She asked brightly.

"I haven't decided yet."

She laughed. "Can't make up your mind whether to stay or go? That sounds like me last week." She hooked her thick, shoulder-length golden blonde hair behind her right ear and turned to look at me. I appraised her, estimating her age at about forty. She had soft brown eyes, the lines around which told me that she spent most of her time smiling. There was an ease and comfortableness about her and her body suggested she'd eaten one too many pizzas. She closed her eyes, inhaling and exhaling deeply, before opening them and looking directly into my eyes. "That indecision about being a tourist," she said gently. "Where would you go if you could? Honestly?"

I couldn't reply, knowing full well that it was a four letter word too painful for me to articulate. Home.

"You'd go home wouldn't you?" I didn't reply. "I can see in your eyes that you're a long way from there in every sense and you're carrying the weight of the world on those shoulders." I glanced at her briefly before averting my eyes again. Had I got this written on my face? "Would you like to go home?" There was no point denying it. I nodded. "Would you like me to help you get there?"

"I don't think anybody can get me home."

"Wanna bet? I have a credit card and even Dorothy Gale got home in the end."

"I can't just click my heels together and say 'there's no place like home' I've caused too many problems. I can't go back. It's best if I stay away."

"Best for whom? For you or for those who remain?"

"Those who remain. Better people than me can sort out the mess I've made."

"Better people than you?"

"People who know what they're doing."

"They sound like good people to have around then. And that mess you say you made? You don't want learn where you went wrong, so you don't make the same mistakes again? Those people who know what they're doing could help you learn…" I looked at her, I hadn't thought of it like that before.

"You have a place to stay?"

"Yes."

"You have enough money?"

"For the moment."

"You have a job?" I shook my head. "I thought not, you don't look old enough to be much out of High School, if you're even out of High School.

"But, those big beautiful eyes of yours? They look like they belong to a little girl in Kindergarten. Did you steal them?" She laughed. She was saying that I had the eyes of a six year old? Was she a vampire with talents similar to Edward? I looked at her, surreptitiously sniffing the air. No; she was entirely human. I stared at her; slightly confused, perplexed and not a little bit intrigued.

"I've seen lots of girls in your position and you know what? Every single one them, without exception, would say that running away from their problems didn't make them go away. In many cases, they found that their problems came running right after them. And it doesn't solve those problems either; the problems are still there when you go back. All running away means is that the problems take longer to sort out." I looked at the blades of grass, studying their structure.

"If you went back home today, what's the worst that could happen?"

"I could be dead."

"Seriously? As in genuinely, _actually_ dead? Not to be confused with some teenage hyped-up melodrama, referring to getting majorly yelled at? Would somebody _really_ kill you?" I thought about that for a long moment. I had to believe, at the very least, that regardless of anything, Edward, Mom or anyone else in my family would not wish the ultimate sanction on me.

"No."

"So the worse thing that could happen if you went home today, would be getting majorly yelled at?"

"I've lost my best friend."

"When you say lost, is she lost never to be found again? Or is this the sort of lost that, if you sat down over a few cups of coffee, you might be able to sort out, or at least get back speaking again? You didn't kill her dog did you?"

I snickered. "No, I didn't kill her dog. But it's very serious. She could be the one that's dead."

"Is she ill?"

I nodded. "She may not get through it."

"And you're not there because…?"

"She told me to go away."

"That was her considered opinion, or a knee jerk reaction to a situation she couldn't cope with? You ever think she might have told you to go away, because it was the only thing in her life that she had a say in? Maybe you're not the only lost and lonely girl out there. You may retreat and internalise when you're scared, perhaps your friend is the opposite and lashes out? We hurt the ones we love the most. This I know." She sighed and her eyes looked sad. "Are there any more reasons why you can't go home right now?"

"I stole a credit card and maxed it out."

"Pay it back. That's possibly going to get you in trouble with the Police, but it won't result in your death. Who did you steal it from?"

"The Police Chief."

"Yeah, that's going to get you in trouble with the Police." She smiled. "Anymore?"

"The guys in my band have split up with their girlfriends, one of whom is pregnant."

"That's sad but not your problem. Next."

"My friend is going out with a girl three years younger than him."

"How old is she?"

"Fourteen."

"And you can't go home because of what, in this relationship? This doesn't sound like your problem either."

"I introduced them."

"And that's a crime because…? You introduced them, you didn't insist they date. By all means support your friend in keeping things appropriate, but you might find that this one fizzles out naturally. Fourteen year old girls and seventeen year old boys change their boyfriends and girlfriends like their socks. You'll get home and find they're over already." That wasn't going to happen. If Dan had changed Jane's life then he would irrevocably be part of it. I suspected he had, or that was one enormous vampire-sized crush she had on him.

"Any more reasons why you can't go home? All this seems a little _peripheral_, where's the big stuff?" She held her hands up, laughing. "Stop me, sorry; I'm a fixer. I like fixing stuff up, making it better, sorting it out. I don't like people wallowing in _stuff_, it's caustic to life. Life is to be lived, celebrated even and I'm tired of seeing teens dragging around things that really should be taken outside and given a decent burial. Deal with it, sort it, talk about it, yell about it, write songs about it or paint it even, don't just sit there and wallow in it. People need to learn that the only good thing to wallow in is a hot bath. Agreed?"

I smiled. "Agreed."

"So what's really eating you and is the reason you're sat here and not in line at the airport or the bus depot? I'm Heather by the way. Sorry, I probably should have introduced myself before I picked your life apart." She laughed, smiling broadly and I returned it, the genuine smile feeling unfamiliar on my face. "That's better! You have a really pretty face. Your skin is flawless And those eyes! Those eyes are intriguing me. I see the pain in them, but lurking right at the back there, if I turn my head a little, like so; you know what I see in there?

"What?"

"Mischief!" We both grinned at each other.

"Ah ha! Yep, there it is big bucketfuls of it. It's got pushed right to the back.

"You've had to grow up too fast, haven't you? You had too much, too soon and it's swamped who you really are and look at me, my mouth ran away with me again and I still haven't given you the opportunity to tell me your name if you want to. Make one up if you don't."

"It's Ness, short for Vanessa." For some reason I desperately wanted to say Renesmee but I would respect what needed to be kept hidden. I was in the human world and I had to be the human me.

The human me; the vampire me; two sides of the same coin that I'd spent the last year forcing apart. I'd tried to divorce myself, no wonder I was a mess. I'd spent all my time trying to be Vanessa; fitting in and trying desperately to be liked by Jess. In the process, I'd ignored and squashed Renesmee. I needed to find some way of just being Ness that meant that I could successfully bridge the two worlds I inhabited and still remain true to myself. I'd allowed others to dictate what I did, how I behaved, how I spoke, and what I watched. I'd been too afraid of bringing any part of Renesmee Cullen into the life of Vanessa Masen and I was suffering for it.

"Do you know who you are, Ness?"

"No, not really. I think I got lost."

"I think so too. Start with your name and work it out from there. Ask yourself some questions about what you really like and about what you really want. Don't get sidetracked by other people. I think you've been doing that too much."

"It's like you can read me."

"No, but I can sense things about people, and – this sounds absurd, I know, but I can see things in their eyes. I like to help, I like to help people heal the emotional mess in their lives and work out who they are. I think it's the job God has for me in the world." She smiled kindly at me.

"So, the big scary stuff in your life, the stuff that's really made you run away from home? Do you want to talk about that?" Talking to her, a complete stranger was probably not a wise thing to do – I might be talking to a spy for the Volturi for all I knew. But I was a mess inside and call me young and stupid but I didn't want to be back in that alley again. If a new life was going to work for me then I had to find some way of dealing with the past; to make peace with it, even if I couldn't revisit it. I was hoping against hope that this woman could help me grab an end and start to unravel the mess I'd created.

"Can I ask where Mom and Dad are?"

"They're dead."

"Ah ha, _there's_ the big stuff. Would you like to go get a coffee? There's a great place a couple of blocks away that does some really nice iced coffees, and chocolate brownies." I nodded.

We walked through the streets together to a small branch of a coffee place that I'd seen in Seattle. I couldn't make up my mind what to have and in the end I said I'd have the same as her. She ordered two Dark Chocolate Caramel Mocha Freddos and I didn't know whether to drink it, or eat it with a spoon. Having been raised by people who, for obvious reasons, didn't go out for coffee; I'd never seen anything so bizarre. For our usual rehearsal night pitch-up's at Fredericks, we thought pushing the boat out was putting whipped cream in the hot chocolate. But this wasn't a little backwater on the Olympic Peninsula this was San Francisco. Even the coffee screamed at me that I wasn't in Forks anymore.

"So tell me about your parents."

I gave my well-rehearsed spiel about the deaths of Jack and Elizabeth Masen this time last year and how I had ended up moving across the continent to a small rainy city in the Pacific Northwest. "You do know grief takes time to work through, don't you? It's only been a year and it's still early days. Give yourself time to adjust, you're still very young. She sipped her iced coffee concoction through the straw. "Something about all this makes me think of you as a little kitten taken away from her mother too soon. The kitten doesn't die, but it doesn't thrive either and I see that in you. You're struggling to thrive. Have you got a Mom-figure in your life?"

"My legal guardian is my cousin, so I suppose it would be his wife. I'm living with her Dad at the moment and he just split with his partner.

"Did you get on with his partner?"

"Not really. I think she resented me being there, especially after her daughter moved in."

"And your cousin's wife, do you get on with her?"

"Yes, but she's far away and busy with her own daughter."

"Do you think she might be able to be a Mom to you, even if it's just to be on the other end of the phone once in a while when you need to talk?"

"I think so. Perhaps I should ask her."

How old is she?"

"Twenty four."

"She's close enough in age to you to be more a big sister than a Mom, but that could be a good place to start. She might be good to talk about boys about."

I exhaled loudly. I hadn't been aware I was holding my breath.

"Oh yeah?" she hinted suggestively. "Is this more big stuff?"

Where the heck did I start with the problem of Jake?

"There is … someone. We used to be close, very close. When I was little he was my absolute best friend. I've known him forever and we did everything together. And then something happened and I don't know what, but I couldn't be around him anymore. Somebody said something about him and it kind of soured things. I've never had the courage to talk to him about it, mainly because if I did, it would be like opening Pandora's box and so much stuff would come out that…"

"You feel you might not be able to cope with it?" She replied.

I nodded. "I do like him, but the bond that we once had has broken. I spend most of the time getting his hackles up these days." I stared into my half-drunk iced coffee and poked at it with the straw.

"I'm not surprised. Anyone who is carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders is bound to be a little crabby sometimes." I looked at her and smiled a little. "But I wouldn't worry about it. One tactic to start dealing with some of this stuff would be to start at the edges and work in. By the time you get to the middle, you might find that it's all sort of worked itself nicely out. And what was once a problem now isn't."

"You make it sound so simple." I scoffed.

"Many times it's about getting a little perspective and finding one thing that you can do to improve a situation. I pray a lot; that seems to take care of most of my problems."

"God? Oh, he's not for me."

"He's not for you? That's quite dismissive. May I ask why?"

I smiled at her and shook my head. Well she could ask but I wasn't going to give her the straight answer; that I didn't believe God had a place for vampires in his great plan of salvation. Even nice ones, that didn't kill people.

"God's not interested in people like me."

Heather rummaged in her bag and pulled out a small purple sparkly flexi cover book. She put it down on the table in front of me. The words _Holy Bible_ in a modern font caught the sun and sparkled.

"The language is slightly simplistic for your age, I've been working with younger girls than you today; but do me a favour. Read it and tell me which bit of this book says that God wouldn't be interested in you and then come talk to me tomorrow."

I went to push the book away and she placed her hand on the other side of it to stop me.

"You've read it already?"

"No." I felt uncomfortable. "But I don't… do religion."

"No, I don't do religion either." She looked at me. "But I'm not asking you to believe, I'm just asking you to read."

"I can't read all that in a night." I _could_, but no human could.

She picked up the book and opened it towards the back, pulling out the ribbon and placing it in the open page. She closed the Bible and handed it back to me. "If you want to, then read that bit and if you've time, read a little more. But regardless, meet me for breakfast tomorrow and tell me about the _big_ big stuff; the thing this is really about." She stood up to go.

"You could pick at stuff from the edges, but I think, looking at your eyes; that if you tackle the big scary thing that the rest of it will just fall into place. What part of the city are you staying in?"

"Fisherman's Wharf."

"You been to Ghirardelli Square yet?"

"Yes."

"Meet me tomorrow morning at Lori's Diner, 8.30am. We'll have breakfast and talk more. I'll see you tomorrow." She took a couple of steps away, turned back and smiled. "Oh and there's no quiz. If you don't read it, then that's fine. But keep the book. You never know when it might come in useful." She turned back to the door. "Bye Ness!" She called and raised her hand in a parting wave.

I sat there for a moment not quite knowing what had happened. It was as if I'd spoken to someone who could see into my very soul, but without it feeling intrusive. This didn't feel like Edward picking through my head, it felt like someone holding a mirror up to me and letting me see clearly what was going on.

I finished my coffee drink and noticed that the bleakness inside had lifted a little. The internal fog was clearing and I could make out a few shapes in the mist. There was a little clarity now, a little shaft of light in a previously dark pit of despair.

I wasn't sure about that book though.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter ****Twenty One: Father's Day **

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes looked around the room that had become my home. It was a standard room containing two queen-sized beds. I was sleeping in the one closest to the window, which came with a none-too-scintillating view of the upper levels of the parking garage next door. The room was fitted out with dark wood furniture and painted cream. The soft furnishings – what there were of them - were maroon. By the door was a bathroom, opposite which was an alcove with hanging space, but it contained very little. I had two pairs of black jeans, three t-shirts and the black zip-up jacket to my name. I had ditched the blood-splattered dress and the shoes. There was no further need in my life for a party dress and high-heeled pumps.

I'd been here a week now and I needed to make a decision soon about whether I was staying in San Francisco, or moving on. I didn't intrinsically dislike the city - it hadn't been it or anyone else's fault that our introduction had been so brutal. Had I not chosen to go wandering at night, I most likely wouldn't have found myself at the mercy of the vampire.

I resolved that after meeting Heather for breakfast, I'd get down to some serious planning for my future. I'd get myself into a place with internet access this afternoon and search out a few options. Air travel out of the country was a risk if anyone was looking for me, but I could probably find someone to forge the necessary documents for a new identity, if I did want my exit to be unnoticed. I wasn't completely unaware of how you went about doing that; being a Cullen meant knowing more than your average High School student. To that end, if I wanted to, I could go anywhere in the world.

I held a vague yearning to go and see what Cumbria looked like for real; to go and see for myself where Jess was from. Sitting at her desk, in her bedroom in Forks, she'd shown me her old house on Google _Street View_; pointing out her bedroom window at the front of the old stone-build whitewashed house. It was situated on a narrow walled lane, surrounded by fields, in what looked like the middle of nowhere. The Taylor family had moved from Grasmere, a small place in the middle of one of the most rural and scenically beautiful counties of Britain. Jess had liked it. Dan had been less than complimentary, calling it Grocklemere, because of all the tourists who packed the town on summer weekends and public holidays.

It looked so much like the Olympic peninsula in one regard, in that it was lush, green, rainy and to my mind, very beautiful. Perhaps I would go there. Go and see if I could find some of her friends and feel closer to Jess that way. She still had family there; perhaps I could pick up snippets of news from them, find out how the Taylors were doing in Forks that way. Yes, Britain was beginning to sound very appealing.

It was seven fifteen. I reached for the TV remote on the bedside table and flicked on a news channel. There were still no reports of missing teenage girls from Washington State. This was good news. They weren't looking for me and – again my mind went to Jess - nothing untoward had happened to her, either. I wondered how she was and how her pregnancy was progressing. Being the gestating half of the last one, I couldn't really visualise what was going on right now. I hoped she was ok.

I thought back to what Heather had said yesterday, about Jess possibly lashing out at me because that was how she reacted to stressful situations. I allowed myself the kernel of hope that, at some point in the future, she'd consider letting me apologise to her. I genuinely hadn't known about Randall and if I had, I'd have done my utmost to separate them. What kind of friend would let their best friend date a vampire?

Vampires were hardly great boyfriend or girlfriend material. You couldn't observe the usual social customs that humans did. You couldn't go for coffee or a meal together and the vampire certainly wouldn't be inviting you to go hunting; unless things had taken a bit of a nosedive in your relationship. You couldn't hang out together on the beach or in the sun, unless you were strictly alone. Physical contact even in the height of summer meant that the human party would need clothing for the depths of winter and there was the very great risk (as Jess had discovered), that anything more intimate would carry the risk of serious injury, death or vampire-hood.

The added difficulty with dating a vampire was that those who subscribed to our way of living were thin on the ground. Randall had made that change though, and it wasn't recent judging by his eye colour; unlike Jane's cooling pupils. Randall's eyes had been every bit as gold as my family's, which meant that he'd been living this way for a while. I wondered what had prompted that. I'd most likely never know.

I showered and dressed, pulling on the black jeans again. This time I swapped the blue t-shirt for the black t-shirt and in the process exhausted my entire stock of clean clothes. I'd need to get a couple more items today before I stuck these into the hotel laundry service. I watched a little more TV and then headed out to meet Heather. It was pouring down. I put the hood of my jacket up and headed out into the rain.

Growing up where I had, I should be used to getting wet, but this San Francisco rain seemed particularly fierce and the raindrops sounded like hail hitting the ground. Or maybe it was because something had shifted in me overnight and I could finally feel. San Francisco was famous for its fogs and my personal fog had lifted a little. I couldn't quite see my personal Sausalito across the bay, but I could see enough to know where it was and it was why I was here this morning. I had to admit that I was curious how and why this woman had been so helpful to me, to someone who was a complete stranger to her.

I ran all the way, trying not to run too fast to arouse suspicion. It wasn't that far, but far enough to soak my jacket. I scurried up the steps and over to the entrance of the diner, reaching it just as there was a rumble of distant thunder. I almost yanked the door off its hinges in my hurry to get in out of the rain.

The diner was small and at this hour on a Sunday morning, fairly quiet. It had industrial metal panelled décor with 1950s-inspired yellow and red highlights and the obligatory neon signs. 1950s songs were playing quietly through speakers in the ceiling.

I looked around and saw Heather, sitting at a table in the wide bay window with her back to the view beyond. Her striped bag was on the seat next to her and on the floor was an enormous blue suitcase. I remembered that yesterday she'd said she was leaving the city. It was sooner than I'd appreciated.

"Good morning!" She beamed as I walked over and sat down. She was looking at a keychain, holding it by the clasp and swinging the little crystal figure back and forth. "I was just about to get some tea, you want some? Or some coffee?"

"Tea please. Would you let me buy you breakfast? It's the least I can do to say thanks for yesterday."

"There's no need to do that."

"I insist!"

"Ok, then; thanks!" She smiled. She indicated to a member of staff and ordered two teas from him. We'd order food in a while.

"Did you just get that?" I indicated to the keychain.

"Yes, it's a gift for someone I'm seeing later." She put it back in the bag and pushed it to one side. She looked at me. "Those eyes look clearer today and some weight seems to have lifted off your shoulders. I take it you slept well?"

"Yeah, I did. But I feel like I need more - a year's worth of sleep at least. I got a couple of months last night."

"I know that feeling. In the summer, the second it goes dark I have to get to bed; because as soon as the sun's up, I'm up. It's like I'm tuned in to the dawn. Black out blinds, eye masks, whatever; they don't work. Sun's up and Heather's up." She rolled her eyes. "It gets a little annoying if I've had a late night and want more than two and a half hours sleep. And I'm a happy morning person, which gets on _everyone's _nerves." She laughed.

I was drawn to her, much like I had been to Jess. To her openness, to her friendliness and to her vivacity which was exactly like Jess had been, before the knowledge of what Randall was had started to erode that away.

"I like the mornings." Heather continued, "There's something so full of promise about those first quiet hours, when it feels like you have the world to yourself. You know?" I nodded in agreement, but I didn't. Having the place to yourself virtually never happened in the Cullen house and I rarely beat my Grampa out of bed, he was an early bird too.

Behind me the door opened and I heard a group of people come in. The host seated them at an adjacent table and it was obviously a celebratory Father's Day breakfast. The man's children, sat one either side of him, presented him with a card each, which he carefully unwrapped. He lovingly enthused over each handmade creation, handling them as if he had been presented with priceless jewels.

"Some Dads get it so right," whispered Heather, inclining her head towards the man. She smiled gently at me. "Is this your first Father's Day without Dad, or your second?"

"My first."

"You know, he may be dead, but he's still very much in here." She held her fist to her chest. "Would it help to talk about him?" I bit my lip, unsure of what I could say. "You don't need to talk about him if it hurts. Grief is a very personal thing; everyone travels through it at their own rate. It always helped me to talk about my Dad. It made him more real somehow and helped me to remember him. Does it hurt to remember your Dad?"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah."

"All of it, or just some of it?"

"Just some of it. Towards the end things weren't great." I sighed.

"Ah… More big stuff. I think we need food here. Shall we order breakfast?" She opened the menu. "I fancy some pancakes."

We ordered and I sipped my tea, looking out of the window beyond, into what would, on a clear day, be a view over San Francisco Bay, but not today. The rain had obscured my view and was still hurling itself against the window. It was hard to believe that it was June. It was doing a lot of raining these days. Or perhaps I was just noticing it more.

"I lost my Dad at nineteen so I have some idea of how you're feeling. Mom passed away last November and I've been kind of footloose ever since. I'm off down to San Diego today to stay with friends for a while. I have some irons in the fire but they're happening in God's time and taking a while to come to fruition. I'm not one of life's most patient people, so I thought I'd go kick back and spend some time in the sun."

"Sounds nice!"

"San Diego is a lovely place and my friend's house is always an oasis of calm. I went down there for a few days after Mom's funeral; it was exactly what I needed. Space, warmth and some good home cooking."

"You come across as a very patient person."

"It depends what it is. People I have endless time for. Beaurocracy, I don't! It's been a busy few weeks and I'm ready for a rest and some laughs."

"Yeah, laughs have been in short supply here too."

"Death kinda does that." She reached across the table and placed her hand over mine. "It does get easier, trust me.

"My Dad was always doing something stupid, so I have a head full of memories of the most absurd situations that he got himself into. When I'm feeling down, I pull one out and make myself laugh all over again." As if to illustrate just that point, she laughed. "Have you got those kinds of memories of your Dad? Ones that make you laugh?"

"Yeah, a few, but Dad didn't really play the joker." That job was adequately filled by Emmett and occasionally Jasper. "Dad was focussed and calm, responsible and methodical, resourceful and…" I tailed off. The last word brought tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat. "Dependable."

"He was always there for you?"

"Up until the last year, yes." Every picture I'd drawn, every story I'd written, he'd looked at or read, giving me encouragement and approval at every turn. He'd waited for me when I couldn't keep up, he'd sat up with me when I couldn't sleep and taught me almost everything I knew about mechanics, medicine, music, math and more. Not that Mom wasn't there, she was - parenting me had been a total team effort; but Mom was learning about her new life too, so he was very much sharing his knowledge with both of us. "There was a time when it seemed I could do no wrong in his eyes. The last year, though; it felt like I couldn't do anything right."

"Any particular reason?"

"Probably, but I don't know what it was. Mom said something had gotten to him and he was distant with her too."

"So this wasn't aimed specifically at you? And it was something he couldn't even talk about with your Mom? Was he always quite a private man?"

"Not excessively so; but, compared to other people he might have seemed like that. He didn't give a lot of himself away and he and Mom weren't that demonstrative in public. At home though, it was a different matter." I smiled ruefully.

"They loved each other?"

"Just a bit." I laughed.

"Awkward moments?" Heather grinned.

"Several."

"That's good isn't it? It may be slightly embarrassing but I think it's nice to know that your parent's marriage is good and strong."

"At his age!" I snickered.

"Now now, sex isn't the preserve of the young. They can't have been that old? Forties, fifties?"

"Dad was over a hundred."

Heather laughed. "Kids. Anything over forty these days and they treat it like it's prehistoric." Our food arrived then and Heather tucked in to hers, while I chased mine around the plate with the usual ambivalence.

I'd spent the last six months constructing a wall between myself and my parents, insulating myself from the abandonment I felt. Mom contacting me and telling me that there were problems had shown up cracks in the mortar. Thoughts and feelings had started to leak through again. To have Heather go straight for the happy memories kicked a great big hole in it.

I'd been desperately hurt by the way they'd acted at Christmas and their lack of communication had been exacerbated by my pig-headedness. Dad wasn't talking about what was on his mind, either to me or to Mom. I channelled all my anger, sadness, irritation and sense of loss in his direction; magnifying every flaw he had and adding that to the evidence against him. Edward Cullen was a useless father and here was my dossier of why. But here, allowing myself to think about the good times before all the mess, made me realise that he didn't have a scrap of form when it came to being the ogre I'd made him out to be. He'd been nothing but the kindest, most supportive and loving Daddy he knew how to be. What daughter could wish for anything more? I'd made him out to be the villain of this whole thing, when he had unspoken difficulties of his own and I wasn't blameless in all this by any means.

I'd never had a problem with Dad until I'd gone to live with Grampa. Not even with his skill of reading minds. I'd always found it comforting that I didn't need to endlessly explain myself. Dad just knew exactly what I meant, without me having to use words or even lift a finger to touch his cheek. Sometimes words weren't adequate to explain feelings, but Dad would always know exactly what I was getting at, even if I couldn't articulate it well enough in speech. Of course, my own skill of being able to show people my thoughts, which I used so rarely now, had been good for cutting through the language barrier too. But with Dad, it was different; it was like he completely understood me. Now he barely knew me. Jake had said I'd changed. Did anyone know me now? Had I let anybody get close to me so they could know me? No; on both counts. I'd done a wonderful job in snarling everything right up into one hell of a mess and I wondered if this diner served humble pie? It looked increasingly like I needed to eat a very large slice.

"And what about your Mom? Seems unfair to leave her out of things? She must have been feeling unsettled by your Dad's distance?"

"Yes she was. She was struggling with it. The last time we talked she was hoping that they could start to fix it, but just getting him to talk seemed to be the battle. He wouldn't open up to her and that was just… odd. They were so completely…" I faltered and tears sprang from my eyes as I thought about their relationship; how good it had been and how much I knew it was hurting Mom that it was falling apart. She had gone through so much to be with him and now, it was all disintegrating. If she Dad split permanently where would she go? She couldn't go back to live in Forks or to her own Mom. I didn't want her living a lonely life or even worse, turning into one of the nomadic vampires.

I didn't want what she'd had a child, the endless shuttling between parents. I didn't want to have to choose between spending Christmas with Mom or Dad; I wanted them together, under one roof. Mom and Dad being apart was just wrong! It upset me even to think about it. I hoped their meet up before Anna and Seth's wedding had worked. Alice had said they were on their way in. But perhaps she'd been lying for them and they weren't coming at all? Perhaps they didn't want to play happy families when things were so bad between them? I hadn't stuck around to find out. I tried to fight back my tears.

"Looks like their deaths came at the worse possible time for you? Uncertainty where there once was stability. I can understand your difficulties with it. But they're dead and I don't think roaming the country is going to get you any answers. It doesn't matter where you are; you are not going to be able to run away from people who are dead. This is all inside you and needs to come out. Perhaps a grief counsellor may help?"

"Possibly."

"Ness? What's it going to take for you to go home? Is there somebody who's worrying about you who'd appreciate a call right now, to say you're ok?" Grampa would, but I didn't want to call Grampa. I knew who I wanted to call. I wanted to call Dad. I had to deal with this.

"Yes, I could call someone."

"Make the call Ness and go home. I don't know anybody who wouldn't welcome back someone who could admit they'd got it wrong and wanted to come home. Running away serves nothing. Going back and dealing with it will get results. Promise me you'll call them."

"I promise."

"Good!"

This was not going to be easy, but this had to be done. I was a Cullen and that stood for something. It stood for honour and integrity and family. I wanted things back how they were and I had to do whatever it took to get them there. I hadn't read the bit that Heather had asked me to read in the Bible last night; but oddly, one of the bits that I had, was that very such sentiment. That it was important to do your utmost to live at peace with people. I hadn't been trying hard enough to do that.

What good was it doing, adding more problems into an otherwise difficult situation by being obstinate? I'd left my family to care for Jess, left her alone with a bunch of people, vampires even, than she didn't know and had made the situation worse by disappearing. That wasn't showing me as a person worthy of the name of Cullen and that was the name I'd been born with.

"Well, that was delicious and I'm sorry but I have to go. I have a flight to get." Heather collected her things together. I started to get up. "No, you haven't finished your food yet, you stay. You can work out what you're going to say on the phone." She smiled broadly and placed a twenty dollar bill on the table and I pushed it back at her.

"Please, let me pay for this, you've done so much for me."

"I don't think I did anything, I think you did it all just by getting a little perspective. I'm sure you'll find that everything will work out fine in the end. It may not work out how you want it to or how you expect it to, but it _will_ work out; eventually. "Goodbye Ness, take care."

"Goodbye and thank you."

"You're welcome. Anytime."

Heather left the diner and as the door closed behind her I realised she had forgotten the keychain. I grabbed it and ran out into the rain after her. I ran right and left but she was nowhere to be found. It was like she'd vanished into thin air. I retreated back inside, confused, pulling the keychain out of the bag and looking at it. It was a crystal angel. Above the dangling figure was an inscription on a little metal square. I read it.

_S__ome have extended hospitality to angels without ever knowing it._

I raised my eyebrows at that. Surely not? Surely she wasn't? Angels? That was even more far-fetched than vampires.

I looked over to the family sat at the adjacent table. One of his children was feeding Daddy his breakfast and that reminded me. It was Father's Day and I had a call to make. I took the angel keychain with me.

I left the diner, jogging through the rain back to my hotel, looking everywhere for the sight of a large blue suitcase, but I didn't see one. In the lobby of the hotel I jumped into a conveniently waiting elevator, pressed button three, and leant back against the rail at the back, thinking about exactly what I would say to Dad. Well, obviously hello and sorry would have to figure in the first sentence. There would most likely be some yelling at me, I could cope with that, I deserved it. There may be a lot of awkward questions about Jess, but I'm sure they'd have pretty much gotten to know her by now. Hopefully she'd have explained that she hadn't told me about Randall. Mom had never told Grampa what Dad was, so he could hardly chew me out for that.

The doors of the elevator slid open on the third floor, and standing right in front of them, arms pressed to the walls either side, blocking my exit, was the filthy blond male vampire who had attacked me on Tuesday. Just looking into his bright red eyes filled me with terror.

"Carlo wants to see you."


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter ****Twenty Two: Control**

"Walk with me, and don't try anything funny." The vampire snapped as he put on sunglasses. The doors of the elevator slid open back out into the brightly lit hotel lobby where I'd been only minutes before. Taking my elbow, he pulled me back out into the rain.

We walked quickly through the streets at slightly faster than human pace; but not fast enough to cause people around us notice - although they might notice the stupid guy wearing sunglasses – that stuck out a mile on such a sunless day. We tracked our way down Van Ness and then took a right onto Broadway.

The vampire was tall, six feet three inches and he was slender; you could say thin. I guessed his age at mid twenties. His hair was dirty blond and longer on top, tapering down to almost shaved at the nape of his neck. Before he'd been transformed into a vampire, he'd had a haircut. But what he was now gave no clue to his former life. He looked like a hobo; dressed in filthy, ripped jeans and an equally dirty, soaking wet, long-sleeved white t-shirt, with a faded logo. He was another guy who looked like he'd climbed out of a dumpster. Where Randall's way of dressing seemed to be intentional slovenliness, this vampire's didn't. He looked feral and he stank.

"Who's Carlo?" I asked as we hurried along the wet streets.

The vampire flashed a quick look at me, hesitant, brow furrowed behind his glasses. "You don't know?"

"I'm new here."

"You should have checked in with him when you arrived, at least now you can make your introductions. Although, I have better things to do with my days than be his fetch and carry guy." He snapped. "But what Carlo wants, Carlo gets and you took quite some tracking down." He looked back to me again. "You _seriously_ don't know who Carlo is?"

"No."

"He controls the city."

"Controls?"

"Yes. You find that odd?"

"It's not something I'm familiar with."

"You don't have a controller? You don't have anybody who's in charge of you?"

"I have a family, is that the same thing?" I grinned, trying to raise a smile and get some rapport going. His stride faltered, but only for a fraction of a second.

"A _family_?"

"Yeah, you know. Mom, Dad, Uncles, Aun…"

"I know what a _family_ is," he snapped. "It's… just not a word that... I hear these days." He angled himself towards me as we walked. "You have a Mom and Dad?" I nodded. "How does that work?"

"Dad was… like you and Mom was just a regular girl."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. You find that odd?" I mirrored his reply to me.

"It's not something I'm familiar with." Was there the hint of a smile there? I thought so. I hedged my bets.

"My name's Ness by the way, what's yours?"

He didn't speak to me for fifteen seconds. I could understand a natural reticence for people who had nothing, to give away what little they did have. "Daniel." He said, finally.

"Pleased to meet you Daniel."

He shook his head, his face was stony. "I don't think you will be." We hurried on.

"So is it um… just your Dad who's…?" The word was not said, there were people around us now.

"No, all of them are."

"_All_ of them?"

"There are nine of us."

"That's a big… coven." He said quietly.

"No, it's a big _family_."

"And they're not in the city?"

"No, I ran away." I admitted. "I'd just made the decision to go home and was on my way to call my Dad when you met me. I need to eat some humble pie."

"I'm sorry," He sighed, "It's not your lucky day."

"It's ok, I'll call him later." I was hopeful there would be a later. We walked on a little further before Daniel stopped dead on the sidewalk.

"No, call him now."

"Why?" The levels of panic immediately started to rise within me. "What does Carlo want with me?"

"Hard to say what he wants, he doesn't exactly confide in me. However, number one would be your obedience." Daniel leaned closer to me. "The guy and his wife are… unpredictable. You ever seen any Mafia movies?"

I shook my head.

He sighed. "Well, he's in charge, but it's not him you need to be fearful of exactly, it's her. You know what I mean?" I shook my head. "On a bad day, she can make even the worst Mafia boss look like your best friend. Call your Dad." His face dropped. "And get him to bring the rest of your family." Panic took hold, I started to gasp for air as I stared back at Daniel. "I may be over-reacting of course, but…" He pursed his lips. "I've seen what they can do. You got a cell phone?" I shook my head. "Ok, let's find you a payphone."

There was one ahead, further down the way we were going. We set off in its direction walking more quickly now.

"Your… family? How does… How does that all work?"

"What do you mean?"

"They're pretending to be a family? Is that, like, in a regular house?"

"We don't pretend, we _are_ a family. And yes, it's a regular house." What other kind of house was there? "We've got several houses."

"Several? How do they afford that?"

"They've got jobs?" Surely this was a no-brainer. You weren't going to be able to pay for houses unless you earned money. But this looked too far-fetched for Daniel and he faced me squarely.

"You're making this up." He scoffed.

"I'm not!" How could I persuade him? Of course; my 'gift'. I was a bit rusty at this. "Perhaps it would be easier if I let you see my family and you see how it all _works_. Can I touch your face?"

"Why?" He was immediately wary. "What are you going to do?"

We walked past a few people and I waited until the sidewalk was clear before I spoke again. "You're familiar with those who are gifted, right?" He nodded. "Well my gift is to be able to let people see my thoughts and memories, by touch. If you let me touch your face, then you can see exactly what I mean about us living as a family and how it all… _works_." Or didn't, in my case

"Ok." He nodded, looked around and taking my elbow again he guided me around a corner into an alley. "Will it hurt?"

What an odd thing to ask. "No, not at all. All I'm going to do is place my hand on your cheek and then you'll see what's in my mind."

"Ok." He braced himself as if I was going to hurt him and I suddenly understood that Daniel may not have had the same kind of life around vampires that loved him, as I had. Perhaps he'd been mistreated.

I reached up with my right hand and placed it lightly on Daniel's cheek. It was the first time in a long time that I'd touched another vampire and it felt oddly weird and oddly familiar at the same time. I'd gotten used to touching human skin and appreciated the very great difference between the two. Touching humans felt like touching a butterfly wing. Touching Daniel was like touching polished granite. He gasped, as a memory I'd selected became visible in his mind.

I'd chosen a day when we had all been together in the living room of the Cullen house. Jasper and Emmett were playing on a games console and the rest of us were sat or stood around, talking. I gave Daniel a commentary.

"That's my Mom with the long dark hair." I was suddenly desperate to be with her, to feel her arms around me. I wanted so much to go home!

"Oh my God, I feel that longing!" Daniel started to gasp, staring at me with wide, incredulous eyes. He looked upset and I started to pull my hand away.

"No!" He placed his hand over mine and held it to his cheek. "You _feel!_ You _love!"_ He whispered. A wide smile broke across my face as I realised that for the first time in a long time, that I _was_ truly feeling and that I _was_ loving. "And you haven't done that for a long time." He added, as my thoughts pulled away from my family remembrances and dwelt on that realisation for the moment. I shook my head. Of all the places to re-connect with things, a rain-soaked street in San Francisco was probably as good as anywhere. "Can you show me more of your family? Sorry." He apologised. "Sorry for being a little selfish, but this is fascinating. I want to understand." I refocused my thoughts back on them and the living room appeared in my mind again.

"Next to my Mom, is Rosalie and next to Rose is Alice, they're my aunts."

"What's your Mom's name?"

"Bella."

"She's pretty."

"She is! I'm biased though." I grinned.

"No, she's _pretty_." He sensed the edge of wariness that flared within me, why did he think she was pretty? Did he want her? "Hey, I was just commenting that she's attractive. I don't…"

"Sorry, I'm protective of her."

"I can _feel_ that. Wow." He grinned. "You're quite the little tiger cub. Sorry, I'm distracting you. Your family?" I went back to the living room again.

"Those are my uncles Jasper and Emmett by the TV and that's my Grandma Esmé standing over by the bookcase."

"Not a real Grandma?"

"Well she's real to me. But she's not biologically related to me. She's the wife of Carlisle, the man who created my father. That's him, the blond haired man by the window at the back there, talking to Edward. That's my Dad." More feelings burst out of the cage they'd been put in, as the tiger cub within me acknowledged _exactly_ how she felt about her Dad. Daniel exhaled as if from exertion.

"Woah, that's strong." He was almost struggling for breath. He pulled my hand away from his face and stared at me intently as if searching for an answer to something. He breathing gradually slowed and then his expression changed to one of resolution. "I'll tell Carlo I lost you. Let's get you back to them." He grabbed my hand and almost dragged me down the street.

"Your Dad doesn't look old enough to have graduated High School yet." He said as we walked, that made me laugh.

"Yeah, he's looking good for one hundred and fourteen, but no he's a perpetual Junior. How old are you?"

"I'm thirty. I was changed at twenty eight."

"You've only been one for two years?"

"Yeah, I'm the lowest of the low." He said sadly. "I'm the fetch and carry guy. Any comparison to Dobby the House Elf, is entirely appropriate." He gestured to his clothing. "You get better clothes as you progress through the ranks."

"You like Harry Potter?"

"Yeah! I used to…" He cut off abruptly. "Who doesn't?" He added, grinning. "Great books, a whole hidden wizarding world, who'd have thought such a thing could exist."

"I know!" We laughed. Here we were; two vampires, one pure blood – or no blood - and one mud blood, surrounded by our own muggles. I was quite thankful that there weren't high schools for vampire children though. I'd be ok in the academic subjects, but I'd struggle to keep up in gym. I'd probably be an uncoordinated mess compared to them. In my family, somebody was always having to stop and wait for me to catch up, if we were running.

An enormous black Audi SUV pulled to a stop at the kerb beside us. The windows were blacked out. "Oh shit!" murmured Daniel.

"What?"

"Carlo." He whispered. Was this my own Voldemort?

The rear car door opened to reveal a tiny Hispanic-looking vampire. In contrast to our bedraggled appearances, he was immaculate in a black suit and a red shirt open at the neck. His black hair was slicked back and in his hand he held a black silver-topped walking cane. I bit my lip trying not to laugh. If Jess was ever looking for her archetypal storybook vampire, then I may have just found him. Carlo was taking the vampire cliché to a whole new level. I would not be surprised if he had fangs.

"Daniel. I presume this is the girl in question and that you're on the way back to the house?" Carlo spoke in heavily accented English.

"Yes."

"May we give you a lift?"

"That would be very kind." Daniel's tone was subservient.

"Davis, put some protectors on the seats." Carlo barked. The driver's door opened and a large, black, human man got out. He too was immaculately dressed in a black suit, white shirt and a black tie. He went over to the trunk and brought out two red plastic-backed folded picnic rugs, which he opened up, placing one on the passenger seat and one on the back seat next to Carlo. Daniel indicated that I take the passenger seat, while he would get in the back with Carlo. "No, let the young lady sit next to me." Carlo snapped, and as we crossed back Daniel looked at me apologetically. I got in beside Carlo and I heard him inhale. "Unmistakeably vampire; but so human looking. What a find you have made Daniel, I may have to reward you for this." Carlo spoke condescendingly and I was inclined to dislike him intensely, based on that fact alone. The car pulled back out into the traffic.

A few minutes later, the Audi pulled into the drive of a large, French-inspired house on a smart, residential street in Presidio Heights. As the car swung in I glimpsed a manicured lawn, bordered by precisely cut box hedging. This was Carlo's very own Palace of Versailles. If he was modelling himself on the French King Louis XVI, then I couldn't wait to meet his Marie Antoinette.

Once the garage door was down, Davis opened Carlo's door and waited whilst he got out of the car. He was tiny, barely scraping five feet tall. Daniel got out of the car and I followed, Davis did not extend the same door-opening courtesy to me.

"This way." Carlo indicated with his cane and Daniel and I followed him up a flight of stairs into a room where a washer was thrumming on a fast spin. He took us onwards through into a large, modern kitchen, as pristine as the day it had been installed. There was not a toaster, a coffee maker or a crumb of food anywhere. I expected, that should I open one of the white cupboard doors, it would yield nothing but empty space. There were no humans living in this house but there were humans here, I could smell human scents other than Davis.

The kitchen may have been representative of the twenty first century, but as we exited the kitchen and came out into the lobby it was a different matter. The French-inspired exterior was mirrored within and the full height space was an attempt at stepping back into the eighteenth century, with oak-coloured wood panelling, plaster decorations and cornices, picked out in gold. Across the lobby, Carlo opened a door and I followed him in. Daniel waited at the entrance to the room. I turned and looked at him, confused. Had I done the right thing in following Carlo in? He hadn't said not to. Carlo seemed to sense my hesitation.

"Yes, come in my dear, Daniel knows his place; he will stay there until I need him." The room was decorated in the same traditional French style as the lobby and the furniture was all in keeping with the period. "Let me introduce you to Veronica, my wife." He gestured over to a chair by the fireplace, where a vampire with long, straight raven hair was flicking idly through a glossy magazine. As Carlo approached, she cast the magazine aside and greeted her husband with a kiss, standing up to take her place beside him. She towered over him by a clear foot, her height exacerbated by skyscraper heels. It may be Sunday morning, but Veronica was poured into a scarlet dress that wouldn't have looked out of place at a Saturday night red carpet event.

I couldn't understand why Daniel had given the impression that this couple were to be feared, they was possibly the most ridiculous-looking things in the entire vampire world. Carlo the clichéd vampire, bearing a more than passing resemblance to Gomez himself, had married the vampire incarnation of Morticia Addams. Was all this intentional or were these people genuinely clueless when it came to fitting in? Had their entire introduction to vampire life been through watching the _Dracula_ films? It didn't help that the theme tune to _The Addams Family_ started playing in my head and I had to bite down hard on my lip to stop myself from snickering. I didn't feel scared, I felt embarrassed for them.

"This," he said, addressing Veronica; "is the strange creature Daniel encountered earlier this week. You'll agree that she'll make the most perfect gift? Do you think he'll like it?" Carlo held his finger to his lips as if to stop himself speaking. Gift? What did he mean _gift?_ Gift for whom? Veronica approached me, swaying seductively – how else would you walk in a ball gown and stilettos? She circled me, taking in every inch of my drowned-rat appearance.

"Truly unsettling." She purred, like Carlo in heavily Hispanic-accented English. "I smell vampire, but I see human." Her voice was clipped and like being spoken to by a deadly weapon. Carlo may nominally be in charge of the city, but there was no doubt that Veronica was where the real power lay. "Look at her eyes Carlo, not a hint of red and her skin, so pink." Her smile was the first thing to unnerve me and she reached out and ran a cool, bone-white fingertip down my right cheek. "Oh! And so interesting touch! She doesn't feel human. Her skin feels so tough "

She went back to appraising me. "We shall have to clean her up of course; you can't give her to him like this. Get the boy to find Dionne."

"Daniel." Carlo said, "Get Dionne."

"Yes darling, I think she will make a perfect gift. He will be in no doubt of your sincerity and future loyalty. What time is he arriving?"

"I expect him within the hour."

"Good. Everything is in place. All that is left…" She turned back to face me. "Is to wrap his gift." She laughed darkly.

It was time to get some answers.

"You can't give people as a gift." I asserted.

"We can do what we please." She snapped. "_We_ are in charge here, not you."

"People will come looking for me."

She flicked her wrist as if batting a fly away. "Let them come, we fear no one."

"Who are you giving me to anyway?"

Morticia, I couldn't think of her as Veronica, glowered. "The King of the Vampires."

A laugh burst through my lips. "The _what_?" Morticia was suddenly in my face.

"Don't be insolent, you will _not _mess this up for me… for us!" She quickly corrected herself.

"The _King_ of the Vampires? I didn't know we had a King. Since when? What happened to the Volturi?"

"They had a change of leadership." Said Carlo. "The Volturi are no more."

"In a _week_?" Oh my goodness, I'd been out of the loop for only seven days and already the world had turned on its head.

"Yes and you will be our way of demonstrating our loyalty to the new order. I expect nobody else is going to get him a hybrid as a gift. That is the reason he is coming."

"He knows I'm here?"

"Yes, he is doing us the immense honour of collecting his gift in person; he was most intrigued to hear of you, as we all were. Daniel has been searching the city night and day for you."

There was a knock on the open door. "Yes?" Called Carlo. I turned to look over my shoulder, as a hesitant young vampire woman peeked her head around the door.

"Ah Dionne." said Morticia. "Clean this up will you, make it presentable." She prodded me with her finger. "Go with Dionne." She indicated. I walked over to the young girl and out of the door, passing Daniel, still stood on the threshold.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

As I followed Dionne up the stairs I turned to look at him. He was stood by the living room door, still in his soaking-wet clothes, waiting for Carlo or Morticia to give him his next instruction. What a truly wretched life he led.

Forty five minutes later I re-entered the living room resplendent in a flimsy white dress that was giving out mixed signals. The King of the Vampires was either getting a bride or a virgin sacrifice I couldn't decide which. I was appropriately dressed for either eventuality. Dionne had stuck me in the shower and then set about fixing my hair and applying a light covering of make-up. She hadn't spoken once, despite my repeated questioning. From an enormous closet she had selected the plain empire-line dress, teaming it with a pair of flat white sandals. I could almost pass for a character from a Jane Austen novel, although one that was still sculling around in her nightdress.

When I returned, Daniel was missing from the doorway and the living room now contained nine vampires, men and women, each one immaculately dressed and taking their style direction from Carlo. They were all dressed in black suits and coloured shirts, even the women. It looked like Jess and Dan's party all over again. Add a couple of bottles of vodka, some music, a drunk hybrid and a weeping girl and it would be stunningly reminiscent. Morticia surveyed me with a critical eye as I entered the room.

"Better. Now go and stand over there and don't say anything until you're spoken to." She pointed to a place under an enormous painting of a Greek temple. I noticed, with no particular pleasure, that I was dressed in almost the same way as one of the figures in the picture. I added Greek water-carrier to the list of things I could now pass for.

"He's here." Said a man stood by the window.

"Excellent!" Morticia exclaimed. She bent down to straighten her husband's tie and smooth his jacket before taking up her place slightly behind him. The new King would see that Carlo was in charge and she would be the dutiful wife. I wondered why she did not take control herself? Were city vampires more patriarchal than us, the country cousins?

I heard the front door open, two sets of footsteps come in and a man's voice welcomed the visitors. As everyone in the room did, I stood unmoving eyes trained on the doorway, ready for my first glimpse of the vampire world's new King and the person that my fate would now lie in the hands of.

Through the door came Carlo's butler. He was human and an older man of around sixty. He was followed by a truly enormous and deeply intimidating vampire. Behind him came someone I did not expect.

He'd proclaimed himself King? Thinking back to my time in Denali I was with Garrett on this one. Aro had finally lost it. To make matters even more amusing, he'd dressed to match everyone else in the room. He was in a black suit and a purple satin shirt and his long black hair was tied in a ponytail. Purple. Very regal, I was only sad he wasn't wearing a crown.

"King Aro." said the Butler, in cut-glass British English. Over on the other side of the room, Carlo and Morticia went into fawning overdrive as Aro approached and both of them, patently knowing nothing of his gift, made the elemental mistake of shaking Aro's hand. Every thought that they had _ever _had and no doubt every weakness that could be used against them; was now known to the King. It was not long before he knew who else was in the room. I was known to him – or had been - and as he let go of Morticia's hand, he turned to face me.

"Renesmee. What an _unexpected _pleasure."

"You know her?" Carlo was stunned.

"Oh yes," Aro purred, "And thank you for the gift of her, you were right; nobody else would have thought to have given me a hybrid. You are lucky to have come across this one." He turned back to Carlo and Morticia. "But I couldn't possibly keep her."

"Why not?" Questioned Morticia.

"Miss Cullen is the grand daughter of one of the best men I ever met. Keeping her would grieve him intensely and I couldn't do that to him." Aro walked over to me. He was exactly the same as I had last seen him, on a field close to Forks nearly seven years ago. He stood in front of me and placed a finger under my chin, lifting it and turning it gently to the left and right. "Little Renesmee, what a beauty you have turned out to be." He smiled. "And such a perfect blend of your parents. I see Edward and I see Bella in you. Fascinating!" Who did he expect me to look like? Emmett and Rosalie?

"But, what is _really _fascinating is the answer to what you are doing here in the first place?" They guy may be an egotistical maniac, but he wasn't stupid.

"I'm spending a few days in San Francisco." I said, confidently. "Vacation."

"On your own?" Aro's eyes narrowed.

"Yes. Why not?"

"Your parents are quite happy to let their child wander about unsupervised in the city?"

"Yes. I am fully grown now." I scoffed in that affected way all teens did when adults revealed their pathological stupidity.

"So you're here voluntarily? You're here to let yourself be a gift to me… of your own volition?" Ah… he had me. I thought quickly.

"Well, obviously there's been a slight misunderstanding. You know that my family would be desperately worried about me should I go missing."

"Oh yes, of course. I'm sure they'd be frantic and naturally come to rescue you."

"Exactly! And you really don't want us all pitching up for dinner." I made a joke of it, kept it light, but I was increasingly unsettled; believing that although he didn't know my thoughts – and he wasn't going to – Aro could sense that all was not as it should be in my life. "No," he smiled. "Animals make such a mess of the carpet.

" And how are all your dear family? I do hope they are well?"

"Yes thanks."

"And what do they think of the new regime?"

"I… Haven't spoken to them about it yet."

"Really? You haven't spoken to your family in eight days?"

"No. I don't feel the need to check in all the time."

"And they don't feel the need to let you know important news like the demise of the Volturi? That's a little odd, don't you think? Given your previous history?" Uh… he _was_ suspicious. "Wasn't it only a few months ago that we had to deal with you regarding a video? That was Jane's last work for me. Ah Jane…I do miss her at times. We're yet to find her, or Alec." Aro turned to the enormous vampire stood behind him. "This is Pavel, he has taken Jane's place and I must say that I wish I'd have employed him centuries ago. He's so gloriously ruthless!" Aro snickered disconcertingly.

"And please forgive me Renesmee. In the shock of seeing you here I have completely forgotten my manners." Aro held out his hand for me to shake. Mine stayed firmly clasped behind my back. He fixed me with a doleful look. "Oh Renesmee, come, come, are we are not old friends?"

To shake Aro's hand would be to pass over to him every single thought that had entered my head since we last met. Every precious family moment, every joke, every game, every trip we had been, every detail of our lives for the last seven years. And then there were the things I really didn't want Aro to know. The family discord, the broken relationships, where Jane had made her home now, what had happened to Alec and the possible existence of another hybrid. These were things that could be used against me and the ones I loved so it was important that that kind of information was kept out of Aro's hands.

"Renesmee, what can your perfect life possibly have to fear from sharing it with me?" He eyed me and I knew that he knew that all was not well in the Cullen family. "Pavel?" The huge vampire grabbed my right hand and thrust it out to Aro. As my hand connected with his I felt violated, this was not information willingly given.

"Oh… What a tragedy." He grasped my hand more firmly. "How did something so right, go so horribly wrong? Thank you Pavel." Pavel dropped my hand and it fell limply to my side. I wasn't injured, not physically at any rate, but I was compromised and along with me a whole bunch of other people, including two humans who were aware of our existence and were not allowed to be. I had placed them in even more danger. "Baby Cullen has got separated from the pack." Aro brought his face close to mine. "Stupid girl."

Aro moved away and strolled around the room. "I have waited a long time to enact my revenge for the Cullen's insubordination. In these changed times I am no longer willing to deal leniently with those who transgress our rules. Yet again, the Cullens flout our laws to suit their own ends. But your family are a tenacious coven and a direct attack would be ill-advised, especially given the talents in their possession. But, as the baby has conveniently wandered away from the pack, a most perfect way of bring them down from within has just presented itself."

Aro spun round to face Carlo and Morticia. "I can never thank you enough for this gift and believe me when I say you will be amply rewarded. I know you cannot truly appreciate what you have given me, but let me assure you she is the pearl of great price." Aro turned back to me. "As much as I respect Carlisle, his methods and his empire-building undermine me and that has gone on far too long. This way I can attack the Cullens without damaging so much as a hair on my head. You are familiar with modern computing?" He asked, over his shoulder, to his hosts.

"Vaguely." said Carlo. "But we have other people to do that for us."

"I would expect nothing less. In this case, let's just say I shall be uploading a virus into the system." Aro focussed intently me. "There is no one on this earth that irks me quite as much as your father does; so believe me when I say that this is _especially_ for him, in the hope that it will torment him for the rest of eternity and go some way to bringing about the eventual destruction of the Cullens. I don't think they will easily remain in their quiet domestic existence after this. I intend to draw them out to fight and they can't fight on all fronts at once, when they are confronted by _all_ my loyal subjects. They will be all the more fragile once there is a snake in the Garden of Eden."

I stood rooted to the spot, truly terrified of whatever was coming my way. I was alone, I was defenceless and I hadn't even managed to call Dad and tell him how much I loved him. I felt the prick of tears behind my eyes as my world shut down around me. Aro approached me again and grasped my chin in his hand, angling it up to him. "Perfect Renesmee." He whispered. "Pure Renesmee, _unspoiled_ Renesmee." He kissed me, full on the lips before breaking away, remaining only a fraction of an inch away from my face. "Let's send you home to Mommy and Daddy a little more… worldly wise." I gasped in shock, as the nature of what he was suggesting hit me. "And just to make sure you are _very_ imperfect, _very_ impure and _very_ despoiled, I'm going to let Pavel take care of it." He grinned maliciously. "You and Jess can compare notes. Oh, and say hello to Jane for me. Goodbye Renesmee. It is my intention that this _will_ hurt."

Pavel grabbed my shoulders and marched me forcibly from the room. It took a nanosecond or two for my brain to catch up with the speed of things and I managed to find my voice to scream, but my protestations were silenced by a large hand clamping itself over my mouth. I struggled and fought against the huge vampire, but in vain. The sandals I wore offered no purchase against the polished parquet floor and whatever I did could not prevent my inexorable slide over to the stairs across the hall. As we reached them, Pavel turned me around and threw me over his shoulder. I punched him, I kicked him, I wriggled and free of the hand covering my mouth, I aimed to make every person in this neighbourhood aware of exactly what was happening to me. Nothing worked. I might as well kick and yell at a mountain.

He reached the top of the stairs and walked down the corridor that I had previously walked with Dionne, choosing a door on the right, opposite where I had been earlier. He walked across the room and threw me down on the bed, pinning me to it with one hand, while the other undid his pants. Pavel was almost as wide as he was tall and he was taller than anyone, even… Jake!

I knew what Aro was trying to do. Inflict this on me and have it go on to inflict eternal mental torture on my father; he now knew we were inextricably linked. To have this in my head meant that my Dad would not easily want to be around me and would place a damaging wedge between us. I had to do what I could to protect Dad from that and I closed my eyes. I would not take in any further visual information. I wished it were somehow possible to shut down my other senses.

Just then there was a smack, the sound of a door being rammed against a wall.

"Get off her!" My eyes flew open to see Daniel trying to pull Pavel off me." Daniel was stronger than me and succeeded in getting Pavel to need both hands in fighting Daniel off. I scrabbled off the bed and backed away from the two men as they fought, reversing out of the door of the room. I turned and cannoned straight into Aro.

"Going somewhere?" He held me by the shoulders. He may be thousands of years old but he was still far stronger than I was. "I don't think Pavel has finished with you yet, has he? I was coming to see who the fool was who'd tried to save you." Aro forced me back into the bedroom where Pavel and Daniel were engaged in a frantic, almost blurry battle, I could hear the tear of fabric and the smack of vampire against vampire. And then suddenly, there was a harsh tearing sound and it was over. Daniel's head rolled in a semicircle across the floor and his body slumped where it fell. I was glad his face came to rest facing away from me; I could not bear to see it now. He'd done what he could to save me, but he was no match for this… brute. Yes, Pavel was aptly described.

Are leaned down to speak gently into my ear."There now. See how easily Pavel despatches those who try and attack him? He's marvellous, even more deadly than Demetri. Oh and you'll be interested to know that Demetri's no longer with me, another one of the rebels. But it's so refreshing having new people around me after all this time. I get a tangible sense of nothing being impossible these days. But I mustn't detain you any longer. We have a plane to catch and Pavel has a job to finish." He pushed me back to Pavel. "And… Take care of that thing when you're done Pavel." Aro indicated to Daniel's corpse on the floor, kicking his head further away from his body. "I'm sure they have an incinerator here. You know how important it is for them to be burned. We don't want them inconveniently reassembling themselves. I will wait for you downstairs. Enjoy yourself."

Aro left and once again I found myself on the bed. Daniel had tried and failed to save me and he had paid for it. I'd never forget what he'd tried to do for me. I closed my eyes again, tears budding under my lashes, trying to block out as much as I could. I kicked and struggled – I wasn't going to let him think I was accepting this meekly. Inside, my head tried to think about other things and in a desperate attempt to distract myself I pulled out random images from my life. Learning to drive, swimming at night off tropical beaches, endless days roaming the mountains with Jake. It pulled out lazy days, happy days, exciting days, meadows, forests, rivers, friends, family and as I felt the weight of Pavel press down on me, it pulled out a memory of Jake and I, stood at the top of the stairs in Grampa's house only a few short weeks ago.

"You just say the word Ness; I'll come rescue you."

"My knight in shining armour?"

"More a guy in cut off denims; but, same thing."

What I wouldn't give for a guy in cut off denims to come rescue me right now! I prayed for any chance for it to happen, for Jake to break down this door and rescue me. For him to drag Pavel off me and tear him apart, limb from limb as I knew he could. But Jake was in Forks and I was about to lose any chance of putting right what had gone wrong between us. The horror of that seemed to galvanise something deep within me.

I threw back my head, took in the biggest breath I could and every atom of who and what I was yelled Jake's name for all I was worth! It would not bring Jake to me, I knew that, but the mere action of yelling it out seemed to give me some more courage and some more fight and I felt more alive than I'd done in a long time. Susie Taylor had once blithely commented that a woman was like a teabag. You didn't know how strong she was until you put her in hot water.

"Get _off_ me!" I yelled once again, shoving harder now.

"Shut up!" Pavel snapped in his Russian accent. "Lie still!"

"Not likely!" I redoubled my efforts to get him off me. "My family will hunt you down!" I hissed venomously.

Pavel finally succeeded in his efforts to get me how he wanted me.

"Oh I'm scared!" He scoffed.

"You _should_ be." Came a disembodied voice from a location that I could not see. My eyes flew open and both mine and Pavel's faces whipped over to the side, to face the person who'd spoken.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter ****Twenty Three: Army of One**

A smart but casually dressed man in black pants, black shoes, a brown checked flannel shirt and a short leather jacket stood by the bed. I bit down hard on my lip and just stared at him, working overtime to not betray anything to Pavel.

"She said, get off her."

"She can say what she likes. Who the hell are you?" said Pavel.

"I'm the one who's going to make sure you obey her."

He scoffed "You and what army?"

"The one standing on the other side of the bed."

"I'm not falling for that. You girl, tell me what's on the other side of the bed." I didn't want to break my gaze from the man, but I knew, somehow, that it was in my interests if I did. His eyes did not change, but I would trust them for all eternity. I slowly turned my head to the left, completely and utterly failing to be able to keep my emotions in check any longer.

I was right to trust him; there _was_ an army on the other side of the bed, an army of one. I was nose to nose with several hundred pounds of rescuing wolf! My left hand flew up and I ran my fingers through the fur on what would be his cheek. Inside me it was my birthday, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, St Patrick's Day and the Fourth of July all at once. I wasn't sure, but it felt like the celebratory fireworks in my head were going off to the climax of Beethoven's 1812 Overture. "What's there?" Snapped Pavel, not taking his eyes off the man on the other side of the bed."

"An army."

"How many?"

"One."

"Ha! _Two_ of you? Look at the floor, that's what I did to the last guy who got in the way of what I'm going to do to this girl." I continued to stare into the eyes and stroke the fur of the rescue wolf. He came closer and we touched noses. The fingers of my left hand buried themselves deep into his fur. Pavel was an irrelevance. With Jake and my Dad either side of the bed, I was being well and truly rescued. "I'll deal with you in a minute, I just need to…"

"Jake!" Came the single command and fractionally before Pavel went to complete the task Aro had set him, the rescue wolf's jaws embedded themselves into the Russian and pulled him away from me.

Pavel went to grab my shoulders to hold on, but Dad was instantly there, knocking his hands away so the wolf could have him. My hands were around Dad's neck in a flash as he pulled me off the bed and into his arms. He held me crushingly tightly, but I didn't care, I was safe and Jake was dealing with Pavel. I kissed his cheek. He put me down looking at me seriously and speaking quickly at vampire speed. "There will be time for reunions later, but first we must get you out of this house. Jake and I need to deal with this one. Stay back." He kissed my forehead and took off his jacket. "Look after this for me." I put it on and enveloped myself in what was the reassuring scent of my Daddy. He smiled as he registered something that hadn't been there for a long time. "Glad to see I calm you, not irritate you. Now, stay back."

He turned and walked over to where Pavel had broken free of Jake. A very large chunk of flesh was missing from Pavel's naked butt. He turned and saw my Dad approaching. The uncertainty the Russian was experiencing in fighting a wolf disappeared from his face and he squared up to my father; he knew how to fight vampires.

Dad stepped over Daniel's body and the pair of them dodged about as Dad anticipated and avoided Pavel's every move, frustrating the Russian even more. As Dad kept Pavel busy, Jake set to, biting more chunks of flesh off him, but he didn't appear to flinch.

Quite how it happened I didn't know, I couldn't see, but Pavel regained the upper hand and got a hold of my Dad around the neck. Oh no, he was not going to do the same to my Dad as he had done to Daniel! There was no way that I was going to stand back and let that happen.

"Stay back!" Came the firm command, aimed at me.

"Sorry Dad, but no." Pavel threw my Dad about and Jake flew at Pavel, the three of them wrestled and while looking for a way in to the fight, I had to first flatten myself to the wall to get out of the way. Pavel had both his hands around Dad's throat now and was trying to pull his head off.

Jake had his jaws embedded in Pavel's shoulder. I looked around for something I could use. I grabbed a metal bedside lamp, ripping the power cord, light bulb and shade off it. I summoned up every ounce of anger within, for what he had tried to do to me and what he was trying to do to my father. I sprang on to the side of him and as Jake ripped a large chunk of his shoulder away, I started smacking Pavel over the head with the lamp base.

But it was useless, the metal just moulded to the shape of his head and Pavel seemed to be as untroubled by what I was doing as he would by a fly buzzing around him. Jake came back in to start on his other shoulder and my distraction at his proximity meant I missed Pavel's head and brought the lamp base down with a smack on Jake's nose. It raised a growl.

"Sorry!" I said, not letting up on my bashing Pavel over the head just in case it made any difference at all. What did help was Jake getting in deep and tearing off enough of Pavel's shoulder to release his grip on Dad. I sprang back and with Pavel, for want of a better word, disarmed; Dad and Jake finished him off. Dad held up Pavel's head and Jake's jaws worked through his neck until the big Russian brute was no more. I looked around; the bedroom was littered with pieces of vampire.

Dad's shirt had got torn in the process exposing his right shoulder. He looked over at me, an amused smile on his face.

"It was Miss Cullen, in the bedroom, with the candlestick." I looked down at the misshapen lump of metal in my hand.

"Some use that was, he didn't even feel it." I tossed it idly aside and it thunked loudly to the floor making a dent. "Oops." I flitted to Dad again and hugged him, trying to pull up his torn sleeve.

"Well, I felt it." said Jake. He sounded like he'd got a cold. Across the room he was pulling on cut offs. When Jake turned round I saw the stunning bruise right across the bridge of his nose.

"Oh no!" I flew over to him, reaching up in horror to inspect the damaged I'd inflicted on him. He recoiled away from my fingers.

"Don't touch it!"

"Does it hurt?"

"Yes!" He blinked. "But it'll go.

"Do you think it's broken?" I couldn't keep my hands from wanting to touch him, to offer what comfort I could.

"Most likely," said Dad, coming over. "With the force that you hit him. Jake'll heal quickly though, give it an hour." I was grateful that along with this strange ability of his to morph into a wolf, that it came along with an astonishing ability to heal himself.

"I'm sorry." I apologised again. "I didn't mean to hit you. I got distracted."

"You didn't need to wade in there Ness, I had it under control and any way, if he had pulled your Dad's head off you could have stuck it back on again. Which reminds me, we need to set fire to these bodies. You got a lighter Edward?"

"Yes." Jake set to work piling up the bits of Pavel that he'd torn off and then went over to lift Daniel's body. It seemed such a sad end for a man whose only crime had been to be Carlo's fetch and carry guy and in trying to help me escape, first from Carlo and then from Pavel.

I stood by the growing pile thinking that I, at least, should witness his passing. Dad went to pick up Daniel's head and brought it over, but he didn't drop it onto the pile. He bent down and held it to Daniels' body. As I watched, the meeting bits of vampire flesh fused together and reconnected.

It took all of eight seconds for Daniel to be reanimated, standing up, looking around at the two other men in the room and down at the large pile of Pavel on the floor.

He pointed at my Dad. "Edward?" He questioned. Dad nodded. "You came for her?"

"Yes."

"How long have I been out?"

"A few minutes."

"She told me you weren't in the city, how did you know she was in trouble?"

"Now's not the time to explain, we need to get out of here, Jane's getting a little carried away."

"Jane?" I asked, stunned that there were others here than Jake and Dad.

"And Seth." Said Dad. "They're dealing with Aro. Jane's…"

"Getting her revenge?" I suggested. Dad nodded.

"Ouch."

Dad turned to Daniel. "Thank you for the help you have given my daughter, I can't begin to thank you enough." I went to my Dad's side and wrapped my arms around him. He put his arm around me.

Daniel ran his hand through his hair. "You're welcome." He looked upset.

"I'm sorry. I should explain; I can see what's in your head. These things are never easy."

"What?" I asked quietly.

"May I tell her?"

Daniel nodded.

"Daniel has a daughter himself. She's eight years old."

"I'd do anything for her and I can do nothing for her anymore! I can't even go near her. At least I could do something for your daughter." Daniel pinched the bridge of his nose. I recognised that if he were human he'd be fighting back tears.

"I may be able to help you with that. But we need to go. Why don't you come along? Daniel looked at me, looked at Jake and back to Dad, seemingly to weigh up the options before him. Daniel nodded. "Ok." Said Dad. He pulled out the lighter from his pocket, and set fire to the pieces of Pavel. "Let's go."

We went out into the corridor and I remembered the angel in the pocket of my wet jacket, lying on the floor of the opposite bedroom.

"Ness we don't have time for this!"

"I want the angel!" I burst through the door, the room was empty. The clothes were exactly where Dionne had dropped them.

"Just get it, leave the clothes; I'll get you new ones." He was getting antsy with me. I grabbed the little keychain.

"Kids; you buy 'em the good stuff and they always want the cheap bit of plastic that comes free with the meal." Said Jake.

"My thoughts exactly!" Said Dad. "Ness, come on!"

We went back out into the corridor and got to the top of the staircase. Aro's distressed wails told me that Jane still had him under her influence. There was nobody in the lobby downstairs.

"What's going on?" Asked Jake.

"I think everyone's too stunned to give us any trouble, although the woman is very disappointed that _King_ Aro hasn't turned out to be the powerful potentate she thought he was."

Jake laughed. "You mean Jane's kicking his ass?"

"Yes, that's what twelve hundred years of being ordered around does for you."

"Now that I would like to see."

"Twelve _hundred_." Daniel exhaled in shock. "I was having trouble after two."

"I have a thing or two to say to Aro." Dad set off down the stairs.

"He doesn't like you." I said.

"I know and the feeling's mutual, I don't like him, either. But if he has an issue he should deal with me directly, not take it out on you or any other member of my family. What he did here is beyond despicable."

Dad strode confidently into the living room, followed by me, Jake and Daniel. The San Francisco vampires were exactly where they'd been standing when Pavel had dragged me out of the room. Morticia and Carlo were standing right behind Jane; Seth in his wolf form was by her side and Aro was on his knees before her, in overwhelming mental agony.

"Jane." Dad said calmly. "We have Ness."

Jane broke her concentration from Aro and he fell face down onto the rug. She looked over to me. Those eyes were definitely more gold than red these days, I smiled at her. "Good. Can we go home now Edward?"

"When I have said what I need to say to Aro."

"And_ I_ have something to say!" Roared Carlo." Who the hell are you?"

"I'm her father." He said pointing to me. "She told you people would come looking for her."

"You can't just walk into my house!"

"I am sorry, but I will not stand by and let my daughter get attacked."

"Your _daughter_?" Carlo scoffed. "That's a funny way to refer to your creation."

"I didn't create her, she's my biological daughter. Aro will confirm that to you." Dad walked over to where Aro was still kneeling, composing himself after Jane's attack. Jane skipped over and put her arms around me.

"I'm so glad we got here in time."

"Not as glad as I was." I'd had a lucky escape, of that I was sure.

Dad stood in front of Aro, his ripped shirt at odds with the rest of him.

"I'm quite well aware that you have a problem with me. You see no problem with using other people's weaknesses against them, so on this occasion, as you sanctioned the attack on my daughter, I have no hesitation in exposing you for the jealous egotist that you are.

"You feel threatened by Carlisle and the life he has carved out for himself. You resent the fact that he draws people in and they stay because they want to, not because they are under pressure to. You don't like me because I said no to joining you. You don't like me because I put my relationship with Bella above you. You are jealous that I have what you want, a family; something I know you were trying to achieve with Jane and Alec. But you're incapable of having that.

"If there's one thing I've learned over the past six years, it's that being a parent is the most selfless thing you can do. It's all about giving out, it's all about putting them first and you, Aro, can't do that. Getting Jane and Alec was all about what _you _wanted, never about what Sulpicia wanted. How are things there? If we're going to trawl about in a little girl's head and dwell on her temporary difficulties, let's ask you how things are with your wife, Aro? When did you last see her? She might be a bit sad to hear that I just despatched Pavel," He turned to Carlo and Morticia. "And by the way he's on fire up there, you might want to send someone up to sort that out."

"Steven, Mark!" Carlo snapped. Two immaculately dressed vampires sped from the room. Dad turned his attention back to Aro.

"The Cullens are a family; we stick together and work together as a family. We love one another and having Nessie has only served to pull all those bonds tighter. You even _think _a malicious thought about her and we will be back to take you down for good. You will leave her alone; you have issues with me you deal with me. You have issues with any one else you deal with them, but you don't ever take it out on her again. And may I remind you that she has others willing to defend her who are also perfectly capable of tearing you apart.

"You may rule and control by force Aro, but never underestimate the Cullens and never underestimate the power of love. You have been warned."

He turned to Carlo and Morticia. "My apologies for the damaged room. Please send me the bill." He pulled a contact card out of his wallet and handed it to them. "We're going now." He walked back towards us. Morticia followed.

"I am so sorry for this, had we known that Aro would treat your daughter so despicably…"

"Don't, Morticia…"

"Oops." 'It's Veronica!' I yelled in my head. 'Sorry!'

"Veronica; my apologies. I misheard my daughter." Jake's shoulders started to shake as he was rocked with silent laughter. I turned to him and he was trying so lard not to laugh out loud. I grinned at him and jabbed him affectionately in the ribs. "Veronica, I know what you're trying to do and I'm not the slightest bit interested in having any kind of power." She thought that Dad was more powerful than Aro and was trying to pledge her allegiance to him. "I am no one. I live with my wife, daughter and other family members in a quiet corner of America. That's how I like it and that's how I want it to stay. You and Carlo run San Francisco, I'm not going to interfere in that. But try being nice to people, it seems to make things a little easier. We're taking Daniel by the way. I'm sure you can find someone to fill the vacancy."

Dad, Jake, Daniel, Seth, Jane and I walked from the house out into the street. It was still raining but it had eased off from earlier. They walked quickly across the street. Dad went to walk with Daniel.

"We're going back to Washington State, where do you live?"

"Nowhere, just rough."

"You are welcome to come back with us. Alternatively you can stay in the city and my wife and I will be back down in a few weeks and we can meet up then."

"I'd like to get out of the city for a while." At this rate Esme would need to extend the house.

We walked down a residential street and I spotted Dad's Volvo parked further down. As we reached it, the lights flashed as the lock released and Dad tossed the keys to Jake.

"You drive. Can you drop us at wherever Ness is staying?" He looked at me.

"The Marriott Courtyard in Fisherman's Wharf. Damn, I left my key in my pocket! We're not going home together?"

"No we brought two cars. The other one's parked a short distance from there." He came close to me and leaned down. "You and I need to talk." He said gently, I nodded. There were things I needed to say. There were things I needed to hear him say.

Jake wound his way through the streets, Daniel sat behind him directing him over to Beach Street. At the hotel Dad and I got out. In his hand he had a bag which he put on the seat and pulled out a complete set of his clothes, including shoes. He passed them over to Daniel.

"I think these will fit you."

Daniel looked speechless.

"Harry Potter just gave Dobby a sock." I said. Quoting a line where Harry sets the House Elf free from the Malfoys, with the gift of clothes. Daniel looked at me and a small smile appeared on his face. He looked straight at Dad.

"Thank you so much."

"You are welcome; it's the least I can do." Dad zipped up the bag and pulled it off the seat.

"We'll see you back in Forks" said Jake. Seth got into the vacated passenger seat.

"Yes, have a good trip back." Dad called. Seth closed the door and the black Volvo pulled away. As it did so it hit me that I hadn't said thank you to Jake for… being my guy in cut off denims. "You can tell him when you get back." He smiled. Now, let's get your stuff and pay the bill."

New room key acquired I led Dad up to my third floor room. It had been cleaned and as I possessed next to nothing, it was very tidy.

"Why don't you take a shower?"

"I don't have any clean clothes."

He lifted the bag. "You don't think I brought clean clothes for you too? Alice packed two sets for both of us." He unzipped my bag and pulled out a set of brand new clothes for me. "She's been shopping, she feels guilty for driving you away."

"She didn't drive me away."

"I know, but I've heard her remind herself endlessly of what she said. This is the way she apologises." He handed me the set of clothes and I went into the bathroom, pulling off the white dress and throwing it into the trash. What was it with me and having a bad track record with pretty dresses?

I washed, dressed and came out of the bathroom, my hair still damp. Dad had changed his shirt and was on his cell phone. "She's out. I'll pass you over." He handed the phone to me. "Mom." I grabbed it from him.

"Mom!" I listened to her speak and broke down. Dad guided me over to the bed, sat me down, put his arms around me whilst I sobbed through a conversation with her; punctuating it with 'yes', 'no', 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you.'

"We'll see you tomorrow; we can't wait to have you home, Nessie."

"I can't wait to be home." We said our temporary goodbyes and I handed the phone back to Dad. "Mine's in the bay." I admitted.

"It's a phone, it can easily be replaced. You can't." He hugged me tighter and kissed my damp hair. "And one more thing..." He reached into a pocked of the holdall and brought out my silver pendant. "I know Daniel bit you and I'm glad this time you were wearing your phial."

"It worked."

"I can see and I'm relieved. But please put this one on and I'll get you another gold one." I fastened the chain around my neck.

"I need to hunt soon. Would you like to share a mountain lion on the way home?" I pulled away from him, narrowing my eyes and making my intentions clear in my mind. He sighed and a small smile played at the corner of his mouth. "Ok," he sighed, "you can have a whole one." He laughed. "You and your mother, I am powerless in the face of such manipulation." He ruffled my hair. "Come on, let's get going, I'm thirsty."

It had finally stopped raining and the cloud was beginning to break up as we walked the couple of blocks to the car.

With all the trauma of today I'd forgotten to ask a couple of pertinent questions.

"How's Jess?"

"Physically, she's in good shape. We're doing much better this time than we did with your Mom. Carlisle started her on…" There were people around us. "What the baby needs immediately, so she's doing well in that regard." Being half-vampire, the baby needed Jess to drink blood to give it what it needed. Dad sighed. "Emotionally however, she's not so good and that's the reason your Mom's not here. Randall's gone, Ness."

"Oh no!"

"He went out hunting, got beyond the range I could hear him and he left the area. Alice, Jasper and Emmett have gone after him but Jess is understandably distraught."

"What's Mom doing?"

He looked uncomfortable. "Your Mom knows how she feels." That seemed to be hard for him to admit. "She has… previous experience." My Dad looked suddenly very sad.

"You left her once." I said quietly.

He nodded. "I'm not proud of that." He exhaled and I noticed his shoulder's sag slightly. "Anyhow, I hope they'll persuade him to come back. Alice knows where he is."

There was another related question I needed to ask, but this one was a hard one to hear the answer to.

"Dad? Are you and Mom OK?" I said it quietly; almost denying that I'd said it and fearing the answer. We stopped walking; he reached for my hand and ran his thumb over my knuckles. I searched his face for an answer but there was none there. He exhaled and closed his eyes.

"I need to talk to you about that." That immediately sent my head off in the direction of worst case scenarios. "Nessie, no; _don't_ think like that." He held my hand tighter. "Look at me." I looked up into almost pitch black eyes; he really did need to hunt. "We are _not_ getting divorced, but you know things haven't been good. There are reasons for that and I need to talk to you about them. How about we head up to Lassen National Park and stop there for a few hours? We can hunt and I think there are lots of things that we need to talk about." I nodded sadly and we carried on walking.

We turned on to a street and I could see the shiny black Mercedes parked a few cars down - he'd borrowed Carlisle's car. My head was all over the place, it couldn't really settle on anything to think about. I thought about the last week and how, considering I'd wanted to run away and hide from everything, I'd jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire. I'd managed to land myself in all sorts of trouble. It hadn't been an easy week and had very nearly ended in something deeply unpleasant. I didn't want to dwell on what would have happened had Jake and Dad not got to me when they did.

As I approached the Mercedes I grasped the handle of the passenger door, lost in an unsettling train of thought and waiting for the beep to tell me the alarm had been deactivated.

"Look at that, Ness." Dad pointed to a car across the street. My eyes boggled.

"It's a fucking _Veyron_!" I exclaimed. It was out of my mouth before I could stop myself as I took in the distinctive, beautiful lines of the silver Bugatti parked across the street. "Oh my God!" I gasped. "Isn't it the most beautiful thing!" I almost forgot myself and walked too fast across the street to it.

Much to Mom's chagrin, I had inherited Dad's love of engines and both of us marvelled at the wonder of this most ultimate of road cars. I wanted to touch it and kept putting out my hands out, having to stop myself.

"You gotta get one of these!"

"Wouldn't that be something! This isn't just _any_ Veyron either; you see that instrument layout in there? Dad pointed into the car, I looked in; I couldn't see anything unusual. "And, if you stand back a little you can see the slightly modified curve to the spoiler, which makes this a _very_ special car."

He knew more about them than I did.

"What?" I was getting a little frantic; I couldn't see what he was referring to. "I can't see why it's different to any other Veyron."

From out of the corner of my eye I noticed the key fob with a large distinctive B in my father's hand. The alarm beeped and the lights flashed.

"Because it's _my _fucking Veyron." He grinned.

Getting home was going to be a whole lot of fun!


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter ****Twenty Four: Father and Daughter**

I looked at my watch; it had gone 4am. Dad and I were searching for a convenient place to sit. It was odd to hunt with him; to hunt with any other vampire at all, but it had felt good. Hunting had become such a solitary pastime that it had taken me a while to get used to someone else being around. But it had been helpful; I needed to reconnect with the vampire side of me, to bring together the two sides I'd spent the year forcing apart.

Running with him took me back to being a little girl, to the days when I was learning to hunt. Dad had showed me how to do it in a way that didn't leave me looking like dinner had fought back. He was such a flawless killer, that for a moment I'd forgotten myself; standing and watching as he went in for the kill on a mountain lion. I marvelled at the grace few others possessed.

I hadn't run so fast in almost a year and it had felt good, really good! My muscles responding as if I'd opened up the throttle on a car, that had spent months puttering around little country roads. I tore through the forest after Dad, close to my maximum speed, which left me a little breathless. But this was nowhere near as fast as he could go. I'd have been well and truly left behind if he'd run at his maximum.

I picked mountain lion hair out of my teeth and sighed contentedly. Mountain lion really _was_ the best! After months of herbivores, the piquancy of the cat's blood had really hit the spot. I felt nicely full, sloshy even and there was every chance I'd fall asleep later. I was so very tired, I couldn't shake it. No matter how long I slept, no matter how well I slept, I still woke each morning needing more. I never bounced out of bed like I used to. There had been mornings recently where it was touch and go as to whether I'd make it off the mattress.

It had taken us only three hours to drive the 250 miles to Lassen. We'd had done it quicker, if it hadn't been so busy for a Sunday night and if every traffic cop in California hadn't been out on duty; brought out by the circulating news that a Bugatti Veyron was in the area.

The car was beyond incredible and I'd hopped around on the sidewalk in absolute glee, when the realisation hit home that this most ultimate of cars belonged to _my _father. I was going to get a ride in it, I could possibly drive it and if things worked out like they had with the Vanquish, I'd probably get it! This had brought an amused retort that he'd only had it five minutes and he'd appreciate it if I'd stop thinking of when it would be mine. I couldn't help it, it was obscenely gorgeous!

The interior was grey leather, hammered metal and chrome; the minimalism giving no hint of the power it could unleash, once you pushed down on the accelerator. The sound of the engine gave me chills down my spine and Dad laughed, as I'd reacted to the sound in a distinctly human way.

The Bugatti was parked several miles away now and we'd run through the park to hunt, having our fill before finding somewhere to sit and say the things that needed to be said. We came up to a natural crater, looking down into a cauldron of low-level volcanic activity. Boiling mud pools and fumaroles filled the area, as did the very distinctive smell of sulphur. The entire basin was caked in a whitish crust, where mineral salts had been deposited from the condensing vapour. Across the crust stretched a boardwalk, to keep visitors off the fragile and dangerous surface. This looked like a natural place to stop.

I sat with my feet hanging over the edge of the cliff. Dad sat down next to me, taking his jacket off and placing it behind him. His ripped shirt had been exchanged for a grey, v-necked t-shirt. I placed my hands behind me and leant back. He angled himself around a little more so he was more or less facing me.

"Where do you want to start?" He asked, softly.

I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know." I admitted. "It all seems to be such a tangled mess. I don't know which thread to pull on first."

"What's worrying you the most?"

"It changes from day to day. Right now? You and Mom."

"Shall we deal with that one first then?" I nodded reluctantly; suddenly fearful of what he might say. He placed a reassuring hand on my knee. "Hey, don't worry. It's nothing bad."

"You haven't met somebody else have you?" My head was running away with permutations.

He scoffed; a wide smile split his face. "No, it's nothing to do with anyone else; this is _all_ me."

"But it's bad enough to cause a rift between you and Mom?"

He looked suddenly sad. "That was entirely my fault and the product of gross selfishness on my part. I didn't realise I was letting it affect me so much."

"Have you managed to talk about it?" I said; thinking of the meeting they'd scheduled before Seth's wedding.

"Yes we have and things are better. It all sounds so trite now, but at the time, I couldn't shake it and it got to me on every level."

"What was the matter?"

There was a look of embarrassment on his face. "When you strip everything away, it comes down to the fact that… I don't like being away from you, this year hasn't been good for me. I'm sorry Nessie, but I've found this year really hard to deal with."

"Why? You both went to Dartmouth to take courses, didn't you want to go?"

"The courses were fine, they were at least a helpful distraction; but all the time there was unease about being so far away from you." He angled himself more towards me.

"Being able to see people's thoughts, and more especially when your Mom makes it possible for me to see her thoughts, made me very unhappy. Your Mother really wanted this for you, for you to have time with Charlie, for you to have the experience of being around humans and learning to blend in."

"But you agreed to it?" I interrupted. "You said it was ok?"

"I know, because I knew how much you wanted it, how much your Mom wanted it, how much Charlie wanted it and how everyone else thought it was a good idea. Whatever I might have felt about the situation, was in direct opposition to what everyone else wanted or thought."

"But why didn't want me to do this?"

"It wasn't the experience of living in the human world that was the issue." He sighed and the embarrassed look returned to his face.

"Nessie, you mean so much to me and to be your father is a precious thing. We don't know of any other vampire who has had the privilege of experiencing fatherhood as I have. Obviously, the situation with our Amazonian friends is somewhat different. They were left to fend for themselves…" He faltered. "I don't know how Joham walked away; I could _never_ walk away from you and there are times when even I can't fathom how much I love you. I _love _being your Dad!"

I laughed. "I love you being my Dad."

"Thank you, but you've gone and cheated me out of twelve years of being one."

"What?"

He looked amused. "I've had six years to be your father and frankly that's not enough, I want more. Human fathers get eighteen years to do the hands-on parenting and I got six, what's fair about that!" There was a little smile on his face. "Just six short years and I'm discarded in favour of best friends, boyfriends, bands and shopping trips where you come back with purple hair."

"You're complaining that I grew up too fast?" I had a smile on my face too.

"Yes!"

"Like I had any control over that!" We laughed.

"No, it's not your physical development that I'm complaining about; it's that my little girl went, seemingly overnight; from being a tiny baby who needed me and her Mom so much; to this young woman who really doesn't need either of us anymore."

"I still need you both."

He looked at me sceptically. "But not in the way you did. You don't hunt one of us out just to be close, or crawl into our laps at the end of the day and fall asleep there. We're not your first port of call for your new discoveries; it's all changed.

"I know you've matured, but I don't really want being a father to you, to be confined to sweeping in and hauling you out of trouble. I don't want to be a parental helicopter.

"This is difficult for me to admit to and you may not like it. But your Mom and I, regardless of what's now going on, we were going to come back and live nearby. I'm sorry, but I can't be away from you, it's too soon for me and I'm too unhappy without you around.

"I want to be your Dad, I want to be part of your life on a day-to-day basis and more than anything; I long for some times when it can be just the three of us. Those are the most precious times for me, when we can be a family together. I really hope you don't mind us coming back."

"No, not at all, I have missed you. Although, there is the matter of your head. You not being able to shut me out isn't going to give me any privacy. What if I get another boyfriend?"

He grinned. "I guess there are some downsides. But on the upside, if you get stuck in class I could text you the answers."

I scoffed in mock horror. "That's cheating! And besides, when do I ever get stuck in class?"

"Your grades seem to indicate that you regularly do." He smirked.

I batted that one away as an irrelevance. "Yeah, whatever. How far away do I need to be before I'm not in range for you?"

"About ten miles."

"Ten _miles_!" I was shocked and somewhat appalled. "For everyone else it's two and a half at most, that's not fair!"

"You're my daughter; as you share a lot of my DNA, I expect it makes it easier for me to hear you."

"I wish I had some of Mom's shielding. Perhaps I should start wearing a foil hat to repel the… Dadnar." I giggled and elbowed him; he laughed.

"Is that all you think of me? As some Orwellian Big Brother watching your every move?"

"No, but… You know everything. I mean, what if I want to plan a surprise for you?"

"You hardly need to get me a gift for my birthday, and you've given me enough surprises this year to last me several decades. I'm not good with surprises, I like to know."  
>"Ok, but you have to act surprised at Christmas."<p>

He grinned "I've had a lot of practice at that."

I returned the conversation to his difficulty. "So what did Mom say when you told her how you felt?"

"She was angry at me for not admitting it. Your mother doesn't mince her words at times." He smiled.

"She's the boss of you."

"Oh, _completely_."

"And you've made up?"

"Yeah." The embarrassed look was back. "That's why we didn't make Seth's wedding."

"Alice said there was an incident on the Tacoma Bridge."

"That's what I told her to tell everyone."

"So you weren't stuck in traffic?"

"No, we were stuck in a hotel room. We paid for the damage though."

"Ew! TMI Dad!" There were some things that daughter's really shouldn't know.

"Oh stop it, we _are_ married."

"But you're _ancient_!"

"I am not _that_ old!"

"You are one hundred and fourteen!"

"And since when does that make me too old to have sex?"

"Dad!"

"I'm curious, is there some upper age limit in place that we're not aware of, because somebody really should tell Carlisle if there is." He was enjoying my discomfort.

"Shut _up_ Dad, ugh I need brain bleach!"

"Oh come _on,_ it's not like you haven't had to walk past Rose and Emmett on occasion."

"That's different, they're my aunt and uncle, you're my Dad and… Ew!"

"Exactly _how_ do you think you were conceived? By magic?"

"I _know_ how I was conceived, it's just the whole parents…doing _that _that is disturbing."

"So it's ok for everyone else to have sex, but not me and your Mom?"

"Can we stop talking about sex please?"

His eyes twinkled with mischief. "Oh no, I'm enjoying your head, it's almost running away in disgust."

"Exactly! Do you see it as your mission in life to torture me?"

"Nope, just one of the perks of the job." He laughed. "But rest assured, we're… um… fine."

"Good." I said in a somewhat strangled voice. "Just don't do it in public please. Rose and Emmett I can cope with. You two…" I shuddered.

"So right now wouldn't be the best time to have a little father daughter chat about boys and…"

"No!" I snapped. "Besides, I know all that."

"Oh you do, do you?"

"Yeah, I have studied human biology and I know how fragile humans are, I know I shouldn't do that with them."

"I know you know you shouldn't, but sometimes it's not easy to say no."

I inched away from him. "Dad we're not talking about this." I was annoyed now, while he was finding it all highly amusing. "If I have any concerns I'll talk to Mom about them."

"That's what I'm afraid of." There was something he was finding funny that he wasn't telling me.

"What?" I was suddenly intrigued.

"Nothing."

"Agh! You can't say that and then refuse to tell me. What? What's so funny?"

"Ask your Mom."

"I will. In the meantime, can we _stop _talking about sex, please? There's been rather too much of it recently."

"Sorry."

"It's ok, it's…"

"A bit of a touchy subject?" He finished my sentence.

"Yeah." I thought of Jess and how in some situations sex really wasn't a laughing matter. I changed the subject. "So you're both back in Forks now?"

"Yes, we're at the cottage."

"You…?"

"Discovered Jane there, yes."

I pulled a face. "Sorry, I didn't tell you about her. I know the whole Volturi thing is a bit of an issue in our family. I didn't think you'd be too wild about a former member of it in your house; but she was, sort of, desperate."

"Yes, interesting situation with Dan. Not one, given Jane's background and experience with the Volturi, that I could have predicted."

I remembered another of the reasons I ran away. "Oh crap." I sighed.

Dad shook his head. "Don't worry about it; that is not something you need to worry about at all. Carlisle has spoken to Jane."

"Did she tell Dan?"

He patted my knee. "Don't worry about it. It's not an issue right now. There are more important things to concern ourselves with. Can we talk about some of the other reasons why you ran away?"

I nodded.

"Earlier, you told me that you knew I'd left your mother. Can I ask who told you?" He spoke softly. In my head I recalled the night of my birthday and the time I'd spent with Leah on the cliff. As I re-lived it, it hit home just how much she'd hurt me that night and how much of this whole mess had come from the words she'd said.

My shoulders slumped and my head bowed in pain. Dad closed the distance between us and held me; as tears; welcome tears; fell down my cheeks and the emotional floodgates opened. Hesitantly, as if they were immense weights, I managed to lift my arms and put them around him, clinging on as if my life depended upon it.

I replayed the whole scene, from discovering Leah on the cliff, recalling everything she'd said, through to the point where my connection to Jake broke, back at the house. This time I was paying attention, I noticed it go. A low growl came from Dad's chest and he wrapped his arms tighter around me.

The tears did not stop and they seemed to unlock everything that had been worrying me over the last few months: Jake, Leah, my parents, Sue, Grampa, Jess, Dan, Jane, Ricky, feeling abandoned and feeling out of my depth. All the people and situations I'd bottled up and forced down deep inside me, came out like the steam, venting from the fumaroles below us.

It is one of the benefits of Dad's talent that no words were needed to explain what had happened, how I felt and the pain it had all caused me. Words were sometimes not enough to convey just how much something hurts. Dad got it all first hand, exactly as I'd experienced it and the distress it had caused me. There were several more low growls and I hoped he wasn't going to march around to Leah and say his piece. I didn't want a scene.

When I'd exhausted my year of woe, he rubbed his hand up and down my arm.

"I am so sorry Nessie. Sorry for all the things that have happened this year that you've had to cope with and I'm particularly sorry for my part in that. Running away is not a Masen trait, but it's sometimes the only option you can see open to you." His right hand moved up to stroke my hair and I rested my head on his shoulder, my body periodically shuddering with sobs.

"Why did you run away from Mom?" I asked.

I heard him exhale deeply. "The first time, or the second time?"

I pulled away and looked back at him, stunned. "You did it twice?" His face wore an expression of sadness.

"I am not proud of either of them; but yes, I've run away from your Mom on two occasions.

"The first was the day we met. She affected me so deeply and so alarmingly that I had to get away. I was fearful and angry of what she might cause me to do. I think you know why that was?"

I nodded. "Her blood was particularly desirable to you." I knew about that. I knew that in some cases, resisting human blood was nigh on impossible for vampires. Some human blood 'sang out' to us on a whole other level of desire. Mom's had done that for him.

"I went to Denali for a few days, but I decided that she wasn't driving me away from my home. I'd cope with her presence by staying away from her."

I smirked. "So, how's that working out?"

He grinned. "Not so good actually." He smiled warmly, the love he had for her was evident in every atom of him.

"And the second time?"

His face fell into intense sadness. "That was not one of my better decisions. I caused a lot of pain and suffering for both of us by doing that. At the time though, I thought I was saving her; by removing the source of the danger. All I did was to drag us both through hell in the process.

"But, she didn't fall into Jake's arms as Leah likes to think she did; not that Jake didn't try." He snickered. "Jake and she became very close friends during my absence and I will be forever grateful to him, that he cared for and protected her when I didn't."

"So there's never been a time when Mom was with Jake?"

"Not in that sense, no. He doesn't love her in the…" He paused, suddenly hesitant to say more.

"…in the way he loves me?" I finished it. I knew that.

Dad nodded. "I'm sorry for the upset that's caused you too; I can understand how you feel powerless over it. But it is still there for Jake. It's not gone away just because you don't love him."

"I still don't know how I feel about it. Maybe in time…" Maybe it would sort itself out in the future, who knew? At the moment there were enough tangled strands of my life to unpick, without having to deal with that big old knot. "I'm still very young."

"You are. Yes, maybe in time.

"Knowing what you know now; would it fair to say that although you maybe mentally far more advanced than human girls your age, that they have much more life experience to draw on, that makes them better able to cope with emotions?"

I nodded. I had not been prepared for the emotional onslaught that this last year had been. Being Human was not an easy option. "It's been tough at times." I admitted.

"Do you wish to continue? You don't have to go back if you don't want to."

There was only one situation that would keep me from going back. "Could I make that decision after Jess…" This was difficult to say. My friends' life was hanging in the balance. We could not anticipate which way things would go. She may live, she may die or she may end up a vampire. Two of those ways would mean profound changes in the lives of those around her.

"Of course, that is a very sensible plan. Whatever you decide to do, your mother and I will support you."

"Thank you." I said quietly.

"But please Nessie, don't ever run away again. There is nothing we can't talk about and there is nothing we can't solve. We love you so much and all we want to do is help you to achieve."

"I know that now."

"You didn't come with an instruction manual and sometimes we get it wrong. I hope you will bear with us."

I nodded and leaned up against him. I was so tired now, having been awake all night. I tried and failed to suppress a yawn as the early midsummer dawn broke over Lassen.

"Shall we head home?"

I nodded. Dad got up, put his jacket on and offered his hand to me to pull me up. I stood up and brushed the dust from my clothes.

"Does this place have a name?" I asked, pointing down to the area of mud and fumaroles below.

"Yes." He laughed. "It's called Bumpass Hell."

"No? Really? Haha! Funny name for such an interesting place."

"Let's leave your own personal hell right here, shall we?"

I nodded. "Good idea." I looked into the distance towards where the car was parked. "Don't run too fast on the way back." I asked, "I could possibly fall asleep while running."

"How about I give you a ride back?"

I nodded eagerly and instantly sprang up onto his back, wrapping my legs and arms around him and resting my head against the side of his. He set off, walking at first; I closed my eyes and the familiar rhythm of his steps started to lull me to sleep.

It had been a long time since I'd ridden on his back. I felt him break into a smooth run beneath me and I opened my eyes a little, to see the vegetation passing by at a speed I could not match. I closed my eyes again, held on tighter and allowed myself to bask in a security I had not felt for so long.

I must have dozed off, as the next thing I knew, Dad was calling my name.

"Nessie?"

"Mmm?"

"We're here."

I opened my eyes to trees. "Where's the car?" I'd dropped off long enough to be slightly disorientated on waking.

"It's a little way ahead. You can walk the last bit, yes? There are people about." I jumped off him, landing with a slight wobble.

"I am so tired these days." I said, irked at my lack of energy.

He appraised me. "Yes, I would like Carlisle to take a look at you, especially as you failed to get in touch with him after what happened at Christmas."

I wrinkled my nose. "Sorry." The Christmas incident was laced with bad feeling and the word Christmas brought back the feelings of abandonment.

"I am so sorry Nessie. He came back to me and held me again. "Leaving you was a despicable thing. No matter what had happened, there is no excuse for what I did."

"Were you very angry with me?"

"Yes." He said, gently. "It angered me that you seemed to have a reckless disregard for your own safety."

"I didn't do it on purpose, Dad. I took it off to wear a necklace that Jess said looked better. I'm sorry, I should have been more careful. Did you think I'd done it to spite you?"

"No, I never thought that, you're not a callous person. Ultimately, I didn't leave because I was angry with you; I left because it brought back too many memories from the early days of being with your mother. I seem to be surrounded by people I have a high chance of losing. I didn't handle it very well, at all really. I was… very unreasonable for a while.

"It was as if history were repeating itself and I had another Bella Swan to take care of, another danger magnet. But, unlike your mother, I had the added horror of being able to witness, first hand, everything you were going through. Believe me Nessie," he held me tighter, smoothing my hair, "I _never_ want you go through that again. It was torture; I could barely run from the pain. I'm sure that was why I didn't make it to you in time."

"Dad, even if it hadn't of worked, you wouldn't have lost me. I'd be different, but, I'd still be here, I'd still be me."

"I don't want you to be different; I want you to be you, exactly as you are now." He held me at arms length away from him so he could look at me. "You're rare, Nessie; you're special and you have so much potential where we have none."

I hugged him again, lying my head against his shoulder. "I'm sorry I caused you so much pain."

"It's ok. It's what kids do. This I know from Charlie." He patted my back. "Although; I shall solder the phial around your neck if I ever see it missing again." He snickered. And I looked up to twinkling eyes. "I should get you home; everybody will be waiting to see you."

We walked towards the car, the sun was rising in the clear June sky overhead and in the distance, I saw it glinting off the polished Bugatti. It was going to be a beautiful day.

"Do you know what I'd love to do?" Dad said, apropos of nothing. "Maybe this is something for the future. I'd like to take Charlie away from Forks with us and the four of us go be a family in another community. I'm sure there are other places that need a Police Chief and we could enrol in High School. I could be your and Bella's brother. I like the idea of being Edward Swan for a while."

I looked at him and scoffed, not exactly enamoured about sitting through some of this year's classes again. "Maybe in the future, I need to graduate first. Besides, Nessie Swan's a bit of a mouthful. Can we be the Masens?"

"That wouldn't be easy; Charlie's too current to disappear and re-appear with a different name."

An idea occurred to me then. "Mom's older than you and I'll be eighteen next birthday. So you'll have to be our _little_ brother, in a grade or two below." I laughed. "That would be fun!"

"I'm not sure I like the idea of that."

"I'm not sure you'll be able to keep your hands off Mom long enough to do that."

"You have a point there. There's only so much brotherly affection that can be shown in public, before people start to think there's something funny going on. But, there is something about it just being the four of us that greatly appeals. What do you think?"

I turned to look at him. "You want to be my brother?"

"No, I want to be your Dad, but obviously I can't be that in public. Brother is the next best thing; being your big brother would be better."

"Nooo… if we ever do it, you're being our little brother." I grinned.

"Triplets?" He suggested. "We could just about get away with that."

I snorted. "You look _nothing_ like Grampa."

"Whatever." The modern, flippant comment seemed so wrong coming from my Dad's mouth and made me laugh. He looked at me; there was a slight sadness in his eyes. "It comes back down to wanting time with you and your Mom. As much as I love all our family, I want there to be more of the three of us.

"I feel sometimes like I'm just one of half a dozen fathers that you have and Bella is one four mothers. It's deeply selfish I know, but I'd like a little exclusivity in the parenting."

For a guy who displayed all the physical trappings of the twenty first century; his character, his morals, his beliefs, his way of living and his outlook on life, were frozen as he had been in 1918. Fatherhood was important to him; family bonds were important to him and I loved that. I loved that he wanted to be my Dad. He may have his flaws but he was _my_ Dad and I loved him!

"Dad, you really are a silly old thing at times! I laughed and reached up to affectionately pat his cheek. As my hand connected with his skin, my face flashed into my mind. On the second pat it did it again. "What the?" I placed my hand hesitantly back on his cheek for the third time and as my hand connected, the vision in my head was of me – through his eyes! "Is this your head?" I asked. Dad was staring at me, clearly not quite believing what was going on.

"I don't know."

The vision changed to a view of me earlier, sitting on the cliff beside him.

"Holy Crow! I can see your thoughts!" I stared into his eyes.

"Hmmm… What am I thinking?" His eyes searched mine, intensely.

I concentrated, I couldn't pick up anything. "Nothing?"

"No, this isn't what I can see in your head. I can see your confusion and your unsurprising glee over this. But these are not my thoughts, this is a memory."

"Is what I can do working the other way? Can I see _your_ memories? Show me something. Show me..." I chose something at random. "My fifth birthday."

The vision in my head changed to my birthday afternoon when we were all together. Grampa, Sue, Jake and Billy were over. Esmé had laid on food for us and we were all outside on the lawn enjoying the sun.

I could see me, sat on a log across from where Mom and Dad were sat. I was with Jake, a plate of food was between us that I was picking from and Jake was taking great handfuls off. In the bottom right hand corner of the memory I could see the top of Mom's head. "Wow!" I laughed. "So I can see your memories?"

"It would appear so."

I took my hand away and looked at it, running my thumb over my fingers and scrunching it up into a fist. It felt just the same as always. I placed it back on his cheek and again I saw what he was seeing, my face and the trees around us.

"Show me… Me as a baby." I asked. The vision changed, to our cottage and of me asleep, I could only be a few months old. I was curled up on Mom's lap in my pyjamas. My mouth was slightly open and my head was nestled against Mom's shoulder. Her arms were around me. She looked up at Dad as he came to sit beside us. I saw her say the words 'she finally dropped off', but there was no sound with the memory. There were no sounds with my memories that I could show other people, either.

"This is what I miss." He said quietly. "These moments, when it is the three of us."

"Don't I look cute?" I smiled.

"Yes, that much cuteness should be illegal."

I smiled, and thought of something. "Show me the first time you saw Mom!"

The vision in my mind was of our familiar school cafeteria. The same tables, laid out a little differently and the décor was blue and white, instead of the now green and white.

Dad was looking across at her; Mom was sat at a table across the room with a group of other students. Their eyes met for the briefest part of a second as she looked at him and looked away.

Even though she was evidently my Mom, she looked so different, so human! She was pale, not as pale as she now was, but the strangest thing, were her eyes. They were the same colour as mine - chocolate brown and that just looked wrong.

She looked up at Dad again. I saw the weird sight of her blush as she was caught looking at him, at them. He was sat with Rose, Emmett, Jasper and Alice. I glanced at who she was sat with and snorted with laughter as I recognised a young Mr Newton. I didn't know any other the other people she was sat with, so I focussed on Mom.

It was shocking in a way. I didn't see the Mom I knew, my confident, wonderful Mom. I saw someone who looked a lot like Mom, but wasn't her. She lacked confidence, was slightly afraid, didn't want to be the centre of attention she clearly was that day. However, there were amusing points to note – how much I looked like her and how I had taken some of my mannerisms from her. I was related to Bella Swan, there was absolutely no escaping that.

Despite everything that was different about her, one thing above all stood out. I could see exactly why Dad had fallen in love with her. She was beautiful.

"She's so beautiful." I said.

He nodded. "It didn't take me long to see that."

I wanted to see more of them. "Show me when you actually met!"

He grinned. "What am I, an entertainment centre?"

The vision changed to our biology room. "That's Mr Newton's room!"

"It wasn't at the time, the teacher was Mr Banner."

The room was filling up, I saw Mr Newton turn to the door and Dad too, and watch as Mom came in with a girl. Having seen her, I now recognised the girl from pictures of their wedding. Was it Angela Webber?

"Yes, Angela Webber." Dad confirmed.

There was a spare seat next to Dad, I saw him grab his books and pile them up, there were no other seats and Mom would have to sit next to him.

I saw him watching her from the corner of his eye; she walked down the aisle past him. Then something happened, I couldn't see it but I felt it, it assaulted me. From nowhere I buckled, collapsing in my father's arms, under the force of wild, violent, uncontrollable bloodlust. I could feel how much he wanted her and the pure unchecked vampire instincts that had warred within in him at that moment.

Dad pulled my hand away from his cheek; the vision and the horror stopped immediately, leaving me gasping to control myself as he gently lifted me back to my feet. I lifted my eyes to his, trying to say words that would not come out.

"I am so sorry." He said, genuinely shocked. "I had no idea you would be able to feel that."

I gasped for a few more seconds, struggling to regain control of myself. "How did you _ever _get past _that_." I spluttered out, completely overwhelmed; not just by the violent feelings he had had towards her, but how amazing it was, that he had experienced that every day he had been with her when she was human and had mastered it. I could not have endured it for two minutes, let alone nearly two years. "No wonder you ran away."

"It wasn't like that every day, that's what it was like at the beginning. I got better at managing it; I _had_ to get better at managing it, if I was to remain in Forks."

I quietened my breathing. "Dad, you're amazing. You must love Mom very much to not give in to that."

"I do. It was tough at times, but worth it for what we have now."

What they had was precious and what we had as a family was too. There was one person I needed to tell just how precious she was to me.

"Can we go home now? I want to see Mom."

The long drive home allowed us to talk more and by the time we pulled in to the familiar, winding drive that led up to the Cullen house, there was only one big mess left in my life and it was one that Dad couldn't sort out. The mess with Jake remained unsolvable by anyone other than myself. However, at the very least, I needed to go say thank you to him for being my guy in cut off denims.

As the car pulled up to the house, I saw Mom appear from the door, and I did not even wait for the car to be fully stationary before I was out of it and into her arms. There were more tears and I felt Dad complete our family reunion, by placing an arm around each of us and pulling us towards him.

Everyone else could wait.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter ****Twenty Five: Strange New World**

For a nanosecond I had to think where I was. I had woken on the sofa bed in Carlisle's office, at the top of the house. Downstairs, I could hear a Rosemary Clooney song on the radio and the sound of Grandma singing along to it.

It hadn't been the best night's sleep. I'd had a nightmare; but when it had gotten to the part where I was supposed to wake up screaming, it wasn't me who'd been the one screaming. It was someone else's distress that pulled me out of my nightmare – Jess's.

The sound of my friend in such emotional turmoil was upsetting. Dad had come in to check on me while Mom went to be with Jess. He told me that Jess had been doing this every night since Randall left and from the floor below I could hear her sobbing. Dad encouraged me to try and go back to sleep, rubbing my back for a while as I finally drifted off.

Jess hadn't been in the house when I arrived home and I hadn't yet seen her, having gone to bed before she arrived back. She had gone to spend the evening at Grampa's. Mom had been the only one here; the others having decided that it would be best for one set of people to arrive at a time, rather than all of them descend on me at once.

So, for the first couple of hours after my return, it had been mostly Mom and I; Dad having made himself scarce to give us the opportunity to talk. We sat together on the couch and I spent a lot of my time with my hand against her cheek, giving her the full picture of what had been going on in my life over the past few months. Keeping my hand to her cheek meant that I didn't editorialise; I gave her the whole, unexpurgated truth.

Mom was angry that Leah had upset me so much and she was absolutely insistent that I talk to Jake about it, to corroborate what she had said. With the topic finally on the table, it seemed the natural point to ask about Dad leaving.

"I spoke to Dad about him leaving; he said it caused you both a lot of pain."

She nodded and closed her eyes. I knew she was working to alter the shield that covered her mind.

"I hope he can't hear your head now, but I'll ask him whether he heard this, later. I think it's time for me to admit to him what I've been holding back." She looked at me with freshly-hunted golden eyes. "I've never admitted to him exactly how bad things were for me back then; I didn't want to upset him. He's got some idea, Jake filled him in once; but I have never admitted to him the true extent of it. Having Jess go through this has brought a lot of things back to the surface, for both of us.

"There was no way I was ever going to rush into the arms of Jake, as Leah likes to think I did. Yes, I was utterly devastated that your Dad had left and no, I didn't cope well, I was a mess and virtually catatonic for a time; but I have never loved Jake in the way I love your Dad.

"I remember Charlie at one point saying that I'd reacted like someone had died. That's precisely how I felt - like your Dad had died.

"Thankfully, it's different for Jess, we know where Randall is. Jasper, Alice and Emmett have gone to encourage him to come back and we're not going to abandon Jess. When it happened to me, it was very different. One minute, I had your Dad and everyone else and the next; they all upped and vanished completely out of my life. Every scrap of evidence that they had ever been around was gone. I didn't see or hear anything from them for months and I was a wreck because of it.

"I sometimes wish that I had your talent to be able to pass on thoughts, because I'm not sure that I can find the right words to express how I felt back then. It's still all in my head, I made sure I remembered it; I just don't allow your Dad to see it. But maybe it's time I did. It's the only bit of our lives together that we haven't shared."

"Mom, I don't know if I'll be able to keep what you've said out of _my_ head. He'll find out from me." I did not have the luxury of being able to keep my thoughts to myself.

"Then it's time I talked to him." She smiled and picked up a lock of my curls. "Leah was right in one respect. Secrets in any relationship are not good."

"I'm glad you and Dad have sorted things out."

"So am I. It wasn't the easiest thing being on my own. I've not been away from him much since you were born, the occasional shopping trip with Alice, Rose and Esmé. But having done it, I'm not keen to repeat the experience.

"I'm not at all surprised in what turned out to be troubling him." Mom smiled. "He does regard himself as incredibly fortunate. Sometimes, I catch an expression on his face, that, to use a human analogy; I think he's expecting to wake up, find that you and I we're only a dream he had and that he's on his own again. He was alone for over eighty years and he's still getting used to sharing his life with us. He's only just got used to being a Dad, is it any wonder that he doesn't want it to end so soon? I don't want it to end so soon either." A lovely warm smile spread over her face. "I love being a Mom!" I hugged her.

Grandma, Carlisle and Rose had arrived later, leaving me with serious doubts, as to whether Grandma would ever let me out of her sight again. Rose was fulsome in her apologies for what she'd said, while Carlisle was Carlisle. Quiet and seemingly understated, until you looked into his eyes and saw the depth of emotion there. He was the bedrock of our family and his embrace conveyed that to me. There was reassurance, steadfastness and so much love. He wouldn't hear a word of apology from me, only my assurance that I would not bottle things up in future.

Carlisle also reassured me that, physically, Jess was in very good shape and they were optimistic that she could get through the pregnancy. However, the baby was already starting to make its strength known and had added to her compliment of cracked ribs. She was in a great deal of pain from those as well as the emotional pain from Randall's departure.

I got up off the sofa bed, ran my fingers through my hair to get the worst of the snags out and plodded downstairs in my pyjamas. The perpetual tiredness was still very much in evidence.

I could hear and smell bacon frying in the pan and there was the scrape of a spoon in a cereal bowl; Jess must be having breakfast. There was another scent too. Along with her cereal and bacon, Jess needed to consume human blood and the aroma of that was wafting through the house and making my throat ache.

"Morning, Prius."

I stopped dead at the sound of the unexpected voice, head snapping round to see Dan in the living room. He was sat on the sofa with Jane snuggled up by his side; his arm was around her shoulder.

"Good morning Ness." She said, beaming. "It's good to have you back."

I looked at Dan, shocked. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Waiting for my breakfast."

"No, I mean what are you doing _here_, in this house?"

"Waiting for my breakfast." He repeated, enjoying the look of confusion on my face. "Although, the service is a bit slow this morning." A wide grin spread across his face. "Oh don't worry, I know all about this." He flicked his hand in air to indicate everything. "About your family, about Jane, about Jess and about you – hence the Prius comment."

"Prius?" asked Jane.

"Yeah, Prius, after the Toyota Prius. It's a hybrid car. She's a hybrid vampire." His subtlety was lost on Jane, who wasn't overly familiar with twenty first century internal combustion engines. Her confusion made him laugh and wrap his other arm around her. He looked back at me, a familiar amused look on his face. "I must admit, for a vampire, you're a bit unconvincing; I never would have guessed. Whereas Jane…" He pulled Jane tighter and she giggled, "is the real McCoy." His twinkly-eyed smile showed that he bore me neither malice nor any apparent concern with who and what he was cosying up to. What was it with these Taylor twins and their ability to take relationships with dangerous predators in their stride? Was there a strange genetic quirk in the UK?

"Aren't you supposed to be in England?" That wasn't what I really wanted to respond to, but it was the question that suddenly fell out of my mouth.

He shook his head. "Slight change of plan; Mum and Dad went on their own. I'm here to keep an eye on Jess; although I'm slightly redundant, what with the personal doctor and the entire battalion of nurses at her beck and call."

"Good morning Ness." Grandma appeared from the kitchen and she embraced me. "I'm cooking some bacon, would you like some?" I shook my head; I wanted the blood and wondered if there was any left over and where it was being stored. I looked back at Dan and Jane. "Things have changed around here." She acknowledged.

"I'll say." I replied, looking into her eyes for answers to the questions I had.

"Carlisle is OK with it," she said, quickly and quietly below Dan's hearing level, but not Jane's.

"I can be trusted." Said Jane equally rapidly and quietly. "He means everything to me. I'm working my hardest not to mess this chance up."

"What was that?" Dan was aware we were saying things he couldn't hear. It was my turn for the twinkly eyed stare.

"She said your feet smell and you snore like a hippopotamus."

"I did not!" Jane snapped indignantly.

Dan chuckled. "She's jesting Jane."

But Jane wasn't quite as used to our gentle sassing of one another. "I didn't," she reassured Dan, "I was saying that I was working hard not to mess this up."

"I know. Ness is just pulling your leg." Jane's face told me that the concept of leg-pulling was as equally alien to her as sass. Dan moved to reassure her, bending his head to kiss her.

"Come and see Jess." Said Grandma; taking my elbow and gently pulling me towards the kitchen. I couldn't hear anyone else around.

"Where is everyone?"

"Jasper, Alice and Emmett are not back yet. Carlisle's out getting more blood and Rose has gone out to hunt with your parents and Daniel."

Daniel, he'd come back with Jake, Seth and Jane. "How is he?" I asked as we walked slowly to the kitchen.

"It's early days, too early to say whether he'll make the change permanently, but your father says there is the desire to, which is always encouraging. He's quite handsome now he's all spruced up." she smiled. "Your Dad has found out a little more about him. He's quite a talented web designer it would appear. I might get him to take a look at my website; it could do with a little freshening up." Esmé worked as a consultant in property restoration and furnishing; a business that was taking her increasingly further away, as her good reputation spread.

I paused in the doorway of the kitchen. Esmé flitted over to the stove to check on the bacon, flipping it over to finish off. Over in the corner, sat on her own at the big, white, kitchen table, was Jess. She was chasing the last bits of cereal around her bowl. In front of her were two glasses; a small one full of orange juice and a large empty glass beside it, the inside coated with a familiar red tinge – blood. I tried not to fixate on it.

Jess finished and dropped her spoon into the bowl with a clatter. She looked up and our eyes met. Hers radiated intense sadness - the pain of Randall's disappearance was clear - but she smiled hesitantly.

"You're back." She said, wiping a bit of milk from the corner of her mouth.

I nodded. "Yes."

"I'm glad."

"So am I."

"I do, however, have a gigantic bone to pick with you." This was to be expected, I had kept so much hidden from her. Esmé walked out of the kitchen with Dan's bacon roll, discreetly leaving us alone, although she would not fail to hear what was said. I walked towards the table trying to concentrate on Jess and not on the glass. "We've got an awful lot to talk about, you and I." I couldn't disagree with her and I nodded. "And you've got an awful lot of explaining to do." Her expression was resolute.

"I know."

"But you can start by explaining one very important thing." She unleashed her hypnotic blue-eyed stare that tried to suck the answer directly out of me.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Why the hell does this place look like a branch of IKEA?" There was a raise of an eyebrow, a turn at the corner of her mouth and an impish grin appeared on her face. Jess started to chuckle and I couldn't help but join in, as I understood that all her preconceptions of how vampires might live, had sailed straight out the window on her arrival here. "Come here you!" She said, standing up. My eyes flew to the large bump that now filled her abdomen. She saw me staring. "Oh yeah, I'm very pregnant now." She smoothed her pink pyjama down over her bump and stepped out from behind the table. She walked over and threw her arms around me. I returned the hug, finding it odd that a bit of her was now in the way.

We hugged silently for a clear minute, before Jess broke away. She looked down at my hands as she held them, rubbing her thumbs over my palms.

"I can't believe what you are. You feel so human. A little different, yes, now that I know what to look for, but…" She looked at me. She looked tired; there were dark circles around her eyes and her skin was even paler than normal. "I would never have guessed what you are. You are so… what is it they call you? Well camouflaged?"

Yes, I was well camouflaged. "How do I feel different?"

She pressed her thumb into my palms. "There's no 'give' in you. To touch you feel really normal, but if you press..." She did just that. "You're solid." She kept pressing, moving her fingers up my arms before returning back to the blue veins at my wrists. She traced the veins in my left wrist with her index finger. "And you have blood."

"An approximation of blood, it doesn't register as normal." It felt good to finally be explaining myself to her.

She suddenly looked up at me, grabbing hold of my hands again. "I need to say sorry. I'm sorry if what I said made you run away."

I shook my head. "It was lots of stuff."

"I didn't know that things had got to you so much, you never said; I don't suppose you could, really. But I didn't even know about…" She inclined her head in the direction of the living room. "Dan and Jane? That was a shock. Both of us ending up with vampires. You must have been going spare."

"It wasn't easy." I admitted. "I didn't know about you. My head was full of nonsense and I was working too hard, to keep Jane from Dan to pay close attention to your strangely hidden boyfriend."

"Yes. But obviously you know why I could talk about it."

"Better than most. It's not something you can easily slip into the conversation."

"No, even with your best friend." The phrase startled me and I was momentarily unsure of myself again. Jess seemed to register my shock. "Oh you are; by a very long way. You're so easy to get on with. You're not some self-obsessed drama queen who demands that we all experience every facet of her pain and trauma. If anything, you're slightly too much the other way. No offence."

"None taken."

"You could do with opening up a bit, Ness. Let people in."

"She gets it from her mother." My Dad was by the kitchen door. I smiled at him.

Jess looked at me, inclining her head towards him. "And _he's_ your Dad?" She grinned. I nodded. "That was when things started to get odd. He looks younger than you!"

I laughed. "I know." Dad rolled his eyes.

"He told me how he met your Mum. Did you know they were in the same class as Mr Newton?"

"Yes."

Jess turned back to my Dad. "Next time he starts, I'm going to think of those pictures you showed me. I can't take him seriously after that."

Dad came over. "I never could take him seriously." He kissed me on the cheek and we hugged. "Good morning sweetheart, are you ok?" He didn't need to ask me, it was more for Jess's benefit.

"Good thanks. How is Daniel?" I could hear Daniel in the living room talking to Grandma. I could also hear my Mom and Rosalie making their way in from the forest. They had been discussing Jess's progress.

"He's doing OK. It's not easy to make the switch, but I'm encouraged by his willingness to try." I thought of Jess and Dan and their vulnerability in his presence. "He'll be OK today." He said, responding to my unspoken concerns, "but he'll need to hunt on a daily basis for the foreseeable future."

"Ah! You did that thing."  
>"The picking stuff out of your head?" I guessed, smiling.<p>

"It's something you will have to get used to, Jess. It's important in your case that I know how you are feeling and how the baby is affecting you."

"Can you hear the baby yet?" I asked him, knowing there was a point where the baby's thoughts would be developed enough for him to hear them. That point had come with me, during my Mom's pregnancy.

"Not yet, I anticipate it will be another couple of days if the baby is developing along similar lines to you."

"That's just freaky." Said Jess. "But good freaky." She qualified.

"I have my uses." Dad smiled warmly at her. Mom came in to the kitchen and embraced Dad, kissing him in a way that really wasn't polite for company, which made Jess raise her eyebrows at me and giggle.

"Parents eh? They're always showing you up."

I snickered.

Mom turned around. "Good morning Jess, how are you today?"

"I'm ok." She rubbed her stomach and then pulled a face. "Well, sort of ok, I can't stop eating. I've eaten half a box of Cheerios and drunk four glasses of blood this morning. And it's not even nine o'clock yet."

Mom smiled. "You are doing very well. How are your ribs today?"

Jess moved her hand to her right side. "Not bad."

"Please say if they are hurting. Rose or I will tape you up some more if they're still causing you problems." Mom turned to me and pulled me in to a tight hug. "And you look tired. Why don't you go back to bed?"

"I'm ok." I said. "I'm always tired these days."

Mom held me at arms length away from her. "That's what concerns us. When Carlisle comes back we're going to talk to him about this. Have you had breakfast?" I shook my head, thinking of the drained glass of blood on the table and wanting that. It was swiftly removed, rinsed out and placed in the dishwasher. I let a low, good-natured but irritated growl escape. It was met by amused fatherly eyes.

"Oh no you don't. "He chuckled. "Go outside if you're thirsty."

"You growled. You actually _growled_! Do it again!" Jess's eyes were wide in shock. I felt self-conscious. "Do it again!" Jess implored. I growled gently at her, pulling my lips back a little from my teeth. I stopped, felt unsure and wrapped myself back in Mom's arms, burying my face in her hair. I didn't enjoy my friend seeing me like that. It put a distance between us; between what she was and what I was. But Jess remained undaunted. "That was _so _cool! Although why were you growling at your Dad?"

"She wanted what you're having." He replied.

"Oh sorry, I finished off the Cheerios."

"She didn't want the Cheerios." He snickered, I held Mom tighter.

"Edward, don't tease her." Mom reproved him.

Jess took a sharp intake of breath and her hand flew to her mouth. "Of course, it's what you eat! I mean drink. No, hang on a minute; you eat all sorts of crap. I've seen you eat Poptarts and Pizza for breakfast."

"It's a good job we arrived back when we did. Poptarts and Pizza?" Mom smiled at me.

"There was a lot left over and Grampa couldn't eat it all."

"Grampa?" Asked Jess "Oh you mean Chief Swan?" She laughed. "He's a good bloke; he's been so good with my parents this week, fielding no end of phone calls."

"So what's the story?" I asked. How had they managed to persuade Susie and Brian Taylor to go to Britain and leave Dan and Jess behind?

"Post-traumatic stress." Dad replied. "Jess had an apparent breakdown the day before they were due to fly out. Charlie happened to be stopping by and was able to recommend a good Doctor who specialised in this kind of thing."

"You?" I asked.

"No, I'm your cousin remember? I can't be two things at once. Jasper volunteered. It couldn't be Carlisle, he's too well known in the area."

"Dr Whitlock recommended a few weeks rest and counselling for me to talk about some of the issues."

"So where do they think you are?"

"In a clinic in Seattle. They were given numbers which get routed straight through to here."

"And Dan? How did he get out of the trip?"

"We had to get Jane to tell him who she really was." Dad replied.

I thought back to Seth's wedding. "I thought she'd done that already?"

"No," replied Dad. "She had turned up and was working up to it. We forced the issue somewhat and that got him to stay."

"I'd just like to reassure you that we're not playing some mad game of Taylor-twins one-upmanship." Jess insisted. "He did this completely independently of me."

"I know." I said.

"Come on, I know we're both still in pyjamas, but let's go and be sociable."

Jess and I followed Mom and Dad out of the kitchen and into the living room, where Rose, Daniel and Grandma had joined Jane and Dan. Dan was enthusiastically finishing up the bacon roll and once again I marvelled at the ease with which both he and Jess now mixed in our company.

It was usual for humans to feel unsettled in our presence; for some reason, that they couldn't understand, the human subconscious told them to stay away from us. But in the case of Jess and Dan, it was as if this mechanism had been deactivated, or was even working in reverse. They appeared to be functioning as a couple of vampire magnets.

Jane patted the sofa and Jess went and sat down next to her. Jane had almost the same colour blond hair as the Taylors. At first glance, you could be forgiven for thinking that she was their younger sister, as all three were blonde, slim and pale.

Rosalie came over, ran her fingers over the dark circles beneath my eyes and hugged me. "I see what Bella means about the tiredness. Yes she's right; Carlisle needs to take a look at you."

"Is there any word from Emmett?" I asked, quietly.

Rose put her back to Jess. "Yes, they're still trying to convince him to come back. He's distraught at what he's done and the potential scenarios it throws up. They are trying to persuade him that, regardless of what happens to Jess, that the baby _will_ survive and he needs to come back and be a father to it. But he can't get past the fact that if Jess dies or gets changed in the process, he'll be ripping her away from her family."

"Is Jess likely to die?" That was the worst that could happen as far as I was concerned.

"It's not out of the realm of possibility. It depends how much damage the baby does to her internal organs when it moves around. But she's physically much stronger than your Mom was at this stage. We learned so much from her being pregnant with you. The blood for instance? If Jess gets a good quantity down before a meal, it seems to stabilize her digestive system enough for her to eat normally, so both mother and baby can be nourished. She's naturally strong, so I'm optimistic she'll make it to the birth no problem.

"But the weird part is her head. It's your Mom all over again, like the signals are switched off." I nodded; I knew precisely when she meant.

"So you're optimistic she'll make it through?"

"She'll get to the birth if the baby doesn't kick her about too much. We could do with Jasper to keep the baby calm, so I hope they get back soon, before it gets too much bigger or stronger." My uncle Jasper could influenced moods and could calm the baby to keep it happy and if necessary, sleepy. "Of course, the birth is the dangerous bit. Getting the baby out without killing Jess or changing her in the process, will be tricky. You can't do a standard caesarean with a hybrid baby, this we know."

"So will she have the baby normally?"

"Unlikely, the baby is the judge of when it's ready to emerge, not Jess's body, so we'd have to induce labour. But the baby may react badly to doing something it doesn't want to do. Hybrids can be strong-willed little so-and-so's." She flashed a grinned at me for a second, before her face reverted to a serious expression.

"While we're optimistic about her getting there, there is no guarantee that she will make it through the birth. Everything about this is dangerous for Jess."

Rose put her hands on my shoulders and dropped her voice even further; although she was already speaking below the level Jess could hear at. "You need to prepare yourself for the very real possibility that Jess will not make it, or that she will need to become a member of our family. You know that if the baby is a boy and its teeth get anywhere near Jess, then we stand little chance of being able to stop the conversion." I nodded.

"We have already started making plans for Jess and her baby to join our family. So I hope you two are good friends." We were, but my gaining of a 'sister' was at the expense of Dan losing his twin and Susie and Brian losing a daughter. My feelings of sadness must have been evident on my face, because Rose suddenly put her arms around me.

It was a little while later, after Jess and I had got washed and dressed, that I managed to have my first conversation with Daniel. He was sat out on the porch steps, gazing blankly into the forest straight ahead. Grandma was right; cleaned up; Daniel was a handsome guy; although the red eyes were an unsettling reminder of what he was.

I didn't know too many traditional vampires; they didn't exactly flock around us, viewing our lifestyle choice as deeply suspicious. Daniel was wearing some more of my Dad's clothes and also a watch of his. His blond hair had a slight wave to it and washed clean of the dirt, it was a rich golden colour – not unlike Jasper's.

I was returning from the garage where I'd been with Dan and Jane. Of everything that Dan could have remonstrated with me for keeping from him, it was my Aston Martin Vanquish which had elicited the rebuke.

"You are driving around in a VW Golf when you have _that_ in the garage."

I shifted uneasily. The car had been left unused since I'd been given it at Christmas, forgotten about even. The breakdown in the relationship between my father and I, had put paid to any desire to drive a car so intimately associated with him. I lied as to why I hadn't driven it. "I never had the opportunity." I said breezily.

He went for it. "Yeah, it's been a busy year. I was admiring it earlier and Edward said it was yours. He _gave_ it to you?" Dan eyed me like I was the luckiest girl on the planet.

I grinned "Yeah, it was his car, I'm his daughter, it's logical I'm going to get Daddy's hand-me-downs."

Dan's eyes flicked over to the Veyron, parked a couple of cars along. He exhaled a low whistle. "So that's what's coming next?"

The side door opened and an irritated face peered round the door jamb.

"I have only had that car five minutes, will you two stop thinking it's yours already!" I laughed at Dad's annoyance.

"Sorry Ed."

My father's eyes narrowed at Dan's shortening of his name, he didn't like it. He was never an Ed, he was always an Edward. "It depends how Nessie treats the Vanquish as to whether I deem her worthy of ever having the Veyron."

"Oh great! Thanks for your confidence in my ability to care for a car, Dad." I said in amused mock irritation.

"If you're going to leave it standing there unused for months, then what was the point of me giving it to you in the first place?"

"Yeah Ness, you need to use it" agreed Dan, "all the time. Get shot of the Golf."

"Hey, I like my Golf."

"It's boring, it's black and everybody has one. This is silver and gorgeous and… Let me drive it if you don't want to."

No way! "I've seen your driving and frankly, no." Dan already had several dents on his car.

"You're a girl, girls can't drive."

I squared up to him, placing my hands on my hips and unleashing a mock withering stare. "I'm a Cullen and you'll be a tiny speck in my rear view mirror, bulldog boy."

"Ooh scary eyes." He grinned. "Go on, let me drive it."

"No."

I'd left Dan admiring the rest of the Cullen cars and seeing Daniel sat on the porch steps, I took the opportunity to speak to him. Being here seemed to be far more alien to him, than Jess and Dan seemed to think it was.

Daniel's face was serious, but not downcast. He looked deep in thought as I sat down next to him. It was approaching lunchtime and inside the house I could hear Mom and Esmé in the kitchen, starting to pull together lunch for Dan and Jess. Rose was upstairs getting a pouch of blood from the refrigerator in Carlisle's office for Jess to have first. So that's where they were.

As I sat down I joined Daniel in staring into the forest. Unbidden, the eyes from the Aurora filled my mind once again and I thought too of the comment that Melanie had made at Seth and Anna's wedding.

"You'll fall in love with a blond stranger and the eyes in the aurora are his."

So was Daniel the blond stranger? Were he and I supposed to fall in love? I didn't have any romantic feelings towards him and as for his eyes, well, from what I'd seen of them so far they hadn't matched the eyes in the aurora. Perhaps I needed to look harder. I needed to get him to look at me.

"Are you settling in?" I asked. A somewhat trite question, but it was all I could think of as an opening gambit. But it did the trick, he looked at me.

"Yeah… I think." I stared hard into his eyes, taking in every detail and mentally comparing them with the aurora eyes. There was not the slightest degree of resemblance between them. His brow furrowed as he picked up on my intense stare. Satisfied that they were not the eyes I was looking for, I relaxed and looked at him normally. "You live very differently here, very humanly."

"It's not to everyone's taste, I know." For everyone who shared our values – such as our Denali family - there were others; Jasper's friends Peter and Charlotte for instance, who did not understand or approve of the way we lived here. Peter and Charlotte preferred to live a more nomadic and wilder existence and rarely stayed above a couple of days when they visited – which was not often. "Do you like it?"

Daniel nodded. "I do; although it's not the very human way you live here that is the most shocking thing. It's the love you have for one another that astonishes me. Carlisle does not keep anyone here by force, or by obligation. You are all here because you choose to be and want to be."

"Apart from me." I smirked. "I don't choose to be here, I _have_ to be here, they're my family."

Daniel turned to face me. "The whole deal with you just blows my mind. You are possibly the next step in human evolution."

That made me laugh. "I hardly think so."

"Well I do. You have all the benefits of human life without all the drawbacks. I was talking to Jake on the drive up here and he was telling me all about you and what an amazing person you are. He was going through your developmental milestones. I can't believe that you were walking and talking within weeks and have only to watch a person do something once to be able to replicate it exactly. My daughter was a late walker and late developing her speech too, although once she got the hang of it she never shut up." He chuckled.

I knew that Daniel's daughter was eight. "What's her name?"

His face lit up. "Madison. Madison Mary Mitchell. I wasn't with her mother anymore, but I did everything I could to be a good father. Being separated from Madison just tears me apart." If he could have cried, Daniel would have.

"Is that your last name, Mitchell?"

Daniel nodded.

"Have you seen Madison since you've been a vampire?"

"Yes. Seen her, but not been with her. I've spent so many nights on the window ledge of her bedroom, watching her sleep. I know there's no way I can ever be a father to her again, be involved in her life or even tell her that I'm still around. But, perhaps this way, this life you lead might enable me to be in the same room as her again without wanting her blood. That would be an achievement. I'll take any crumb of fatherhood that is offered to me. I am so grateful to Edward and Bella for giving me this opportunity. Is it your bedroom I'm in?"

I nodded. "I'm supposed to be living at my Grampa's. Where's Jane gone?"

"Dan's."

"Oh, "I smiled. "Of course."

He smirked. "No, she didn't seem too bothered by that."

I had something to say. "Thank you again for doing what you could for me in San Francisco. I truly appreciate it."

"You're welcome, turns out I wasn't needed. You appear to have your own personal rescue force." I smiled, thinking suddenly of my guy in denim cut-offs. "I, in turn am truly grateful to your parents and to your wider family, for this opportunity.

"I have been a vampire for just over two years and all I've known is greed, selfishness and worse. Edward and Bella barely know me and yet they are willing to take me in and show me your way of life. They don't demand anything of me, they don't treat me any less than any member of their family and…" He tailed off, shaking his head. "You are so fortunate to have these people around you. That guy Jake?" A wry smile appeared on Daniel's face. "I think he's got a thing for you."

"I know he does."

"And…?"

I inhaled deeply. "He's a… good friend."

"I think he'd like to be more."

"Yeah…" I said noncommittally.

"You're not interested?"

I pulled a face. "It's… complicated."

"Ah… I'll butt out then." He chuckled.

"I need to say thank you to him though. He told me once that if I ever needed him, that he'd be my knight in shining armour and he was true to his word. When I really needed him, I called out, he came and he didn't let me down." Something struck me deep inside. "He and I have some talking to do."

Dad and Dan appeared from the direction of the garage.

"Jasper called," he said. "They have persuaded Randall to come back."

"Fantastic!" I enthused.

"They'll be here around six. Are you going to come have some lunch with Dan and Jess?"

I shook my head. "I'm not hungry." I never really was the day after I'd hunted and also, I was now kicking an idea around in my head.

"I think you should go." Dad could see what it was. "No time like the present if you're in a 'clearing the air' frame of mind. But be back for six; Charlie's coming over after work, he wants to see you and we need to sort out your sleeping arrangements."

"Ok, I don't think I'll need that long anyway." I stood up.

"Where are you off too?" Daniel asked.

"Down into Forks, I'm going to go talk to Jake. I'll see you all later."

I bounced down the steps, kissed Dad on the cheek and skipped off into the forest, picking up speed as I went.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter ****Twenty Six: The Vampire and the Wolf**

I came out of the forest at the back of Black's Auto Repair. It was a warm afternoon, humid even, although the sun was obscured by cloud. I was wearing pretty much what could be thought of as my summer uniform; blue denim shorts and a vest top, one of the many vest tops I had that Mom had brought over from the store of my clothes at the cottage. I didn't want to wear the new things Alice had bought me; I was only scampering about in the forest. Knowing me and my ability to get grubby even _looking_ at dirt, I'd have ruined them in a day. On my feet I wore my favourite battered tennis shoes, also brought from Mom's closet. Mom understood, in a way that Alice didn't, that sometimes it was nice to have clothes that you wore out, not threw out.

I walked around to the front of the building; the forecourt area was crowded with cars. Jake was busy; perhaps today wasn't the best day for me to stop by and chat.

The workshop was a large open space with two inspection pits dug into it. On the far right was his small office and beyond the workshop, at the back of the building, was the space our band hired to rehearse in. The main area was lined and stacked with all kinds of spare parts; racks of tyres, of exhaust systems, batteries and a raft of other commonly-used parts for popular makes of vehicles. A radio was playing and I could hear the chink of a spanner against metal – Jake was working under the white Ford Focus parked over one of the pits. It was rocking ever so slightly but I couldn't see him at this angle.

The phone rang. I saw Jake's hand reach out and pick up the handset he'd left at the side of the pit. It was a customer wanting to know what time their car would be ready. He finished the call and started back on the car. Another song came on the radio and Jake started singing along with it. He sang loudly and unselfconsciously, in that way people do when they think no one is listening. He wasn't a bad singer, but the enthusiasm with which he was joining in made me bite down very hard on my bottom lip to keep from laughing. Somewhere outside a dog started howling, which made me want to laugh even more.

I looked around and spied an oil drum to perch on in the far left corner. I flitted over to it and sat down. From here I could see the lower half of his upper body, working under the Focus. He was wearing a grey vest top which was flecked with oil and other stains. As he tightened something up, his movements started to synchronise to the rhythm of the music. I was getting dangerously close to laughing out loud.

The phone rang again, another customer checking on when their car would be ready. He was less sure this time but he hoped to have it ready for this evening. I could sense the pressure he was under; perhaps this was not a good idea of mine and I should come back another day, or speak to him after work. But I was tired of how things had been and was strangely anxious to start sorting out this last big knot in my life.

He didn't need to stop work, he just needed to listen to me say thank you to him for rescuing me and sorry; for unjustifiably accusing him of having an affair with Mom and treating him like a leper. He put the phone down and got back to work. No, he was busy, this could wait until later. I stood up to leave, Jake suddenly stopped work and I heard him inhale deeply.

"Nessie?" He may not have noticed me here, but he could smell me. I couldn't very well leave now, he knew I was here.

"Yes." I replied.

"Hey there," He said in a friendly tone. "Where are you?" He carried on tightening screws.

"I'm behind you, to your right."

"Did you need me for anything?"

"Not specifically, it can keep. I just stopped by to say thank you for rescuing me."

"Anytime." It was completely understated, as if regularly went around saving people and it was no big deal. "Let me just finish this job. Do you want to stick around and grab a coffee? I could do with a break, it must be lunchtime."

"Yeah." I thought of how busy he was; perhaps I could make myself useful. "Shall I get coffee from Fredericks? Save you the time. You look busy."

"That would be great. You got money?"

"Yes."

I walked next door to Fredericks and ordered coffee for him. For myself I bought hot chocolate. It was futile to hope that it would ever taste as glorious as it had before I was bitten, buying it was more a habit these days. When in Rome; do as the Romans do. When in Fredericks; order hot chocolate. I paid and returned back to the workshop.

Jake was one the phone again when I returned, yet more queries as to when cars would be ready. He should get another mechanic to help him out with the workload. I had a good basic grasp of car maintenance and repair; perhaps I could help out this summer with the easy, routine servicing and replacing of stuff; whilst he got on with the more complicated jobs. Rose had given him a hand at busy points in the past, but I guess now that she was involved in caring for Jess, it wasn't an option for her to come down. Jake always got her in to take a look at performance cars. When it came to the fast and the fabulous, there was no finer mechanic or engine-tuner than Rosalie. Dad had told me on the way home to Forks that she had almost salivated at the sight of the Veyron.

Another mechanic would help Jake out no end; but I also thought he needed some kind of office help. His office was usually piled high with stuff he could never get around to filing and the constant interruptions from phone calls could be handled by someone else, while he concentrated on the car repairs. If he couldn't afford an additional mechanic then some help with the admin and the phone calls would free him up to work. Perhaps I could do that for him too. He didn't to pay me, I didn't need the money; Mom and Dad gave me a generous allowance each month.

I put his coffee by the pit and sipped my chocolate, disappointed yet again that it hadn't magically reverted to its former glory. My taste buds were too far along the scale to vampire now to appreciate the majesty of hot chocolate. But it was familiar and, in an odd sort of way, comforting and reassuring. A reminder of a time when the only concern I had was how well I sung in the days before I'd tried to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders.

A Police cruiser pulled up onto the forecourt and one of the officers got out before it pulled away again. It was Ryan; he must be collecting the Police car that was parked on the forecourt. I slunk out of sight, Ryan wasn't my favourite person; he'd started to leer at me in a way I didn't like very much. Jake told him where the keys to the car were and as Ryan exited back out of the office, he spied me back in the corner.

"Oh hi Ness, I didn't see you there. How are you? I haven't seen you for ages." His body language spoke volumes; he was trying to get me to notice him. I'm sure Grampa would be interested in that nugget of news.

"Good thanks, keeping busy."

"I'm here to collect my car. You waiting for yours?" Ryan leaned forward and dropped his voice. "You should have brought a book; this guy can take all day. Want me to give you a ride to the station? You could wait with us while he fixes it." The smile was creepy and I suppressed an urge to rip his throat out.

"No." I smiled. "I'm not waiting for anything; I'm just hanging out."

"With Jake Black?" I viewed the disappointed look on his face with triumph. I was pleased he'd put two and two together and come up with five. He didn't need to know why I was here and it suited my purpose to have him believe there was somebody on the scene for me, even if there wasn't. Jake didn't know it yet, but he'd inadvertently done a bit more rescuing. "Well, I'll see you around." He said, realising that I wasn't going down to the station with him, and he left.

"Ok, this is done." said Jake. "Time for a break and some lunch I think. Thanks for the coffee, Ness." His hand reached out and grabbed the coffee off the side and as he walked up the steps of the inspection pit I leapt off the barrel and walked over to him.

He took a sip of the coffee and looked up at me; the chocolate slipped from my hand as I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Woah Ness! What is it? What's up?" He rushed over to me, putting his coffee on the roof of the Ford Focus he'd been working on. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, all I could do was stare. I felt the splashes of chocolate running down my leg and the damp feeling spreading through my right tennis shoe, as the liquid seeped into the canvas. Jake put his hands on my upper arms and brought his face close to mine. "What's the matter Ness?" He said, urgently. "What's happened?"

I couldn't tell him. I didn't know and I still couldn't speak. I tried to get words out but nothing would come. It was as if my brain had been scrambled by a power surge and was now trying to re-boot itself. I could hear, I could smell, I could feel his touch and I could see, although I couldn't move my eyes away from Jake's face. Jake pulled out his cell phone and started to dial a number, but it rang. He answered it. "Edward! I was just calling you, Something's happened to… Oh. OK. Don't _worry_ about it?" He sounded incredulous. "Edward, she just stopped dead, like somebody pulled the plug on her."

I blinked and blinked again, rapidly now as if I was being dazzled by something. I shut my eyes tight against the light, but the image of Jake's eyes that I'd been staring at for a clear minute, remained; as if burned on to the inside of my eyelids. His eyes were filling my mind and exactly matched the ones in the aurora.

"Eyes." I said; my tongue suddenly loosened. I felt weird, as if my entire genetic code was being frantically re-sequenced.

"Why did she say eyes?" Jake asked my Dad. "Well thanks Edward, she's a little short on words right now, you in the mood to help me out here? This is freaky."

I still had my eyes tight shut. Inside me it felt like power was being restored to every cell in my body. Energy coursed through me like nothing I had ever known. The relentless tiredness was swept away in a tsunami of what felt like cool, clear, fresh water! I felt alive, I felt _fully_ alive again. I slowly opened my eyes to a bright new world around me. It felt fresh and wonderful, as if I'd been underwater and my head had broken the surface. I inhaled a great lung full of air and blinked against the brightness. It was like seeing the sun for the very first time.

There had been a profound change within me, I was not the same person that I had been a few moments ago. I mentally went through my body, running a diagnostic on myself. Everything was there, everything seemed to be functioning. But whatever it was had left me with something new, there was an unexpected feeling present within me that I felt powerless to ignore.

"Why are you laughing? This isn't funny Edward." Jake glowered.

Freed of whatever had frozen me, I took a step towards him and ripped the phone out of his hand, tossing it aside. I pulled Jake's face down to mine and planted my lips firmly on his.

Time passed. A minute, a millennia, I wasn't counting. When my lips finally left Jake's he was the one doing the staring.

"Where did that come from?" He murmured; his eyes wide in shock.

"I don't know." I whispered; a little smile played on my lips. "Shall I send it back?"

"No." He replied quickly, the stare relaxing and a familiar, gorgeous Jakey grin spread over his face. "I'm just… stunned. I thought you didn't like me."

"I got my wires crossed." I said, continuing in this unnecessary, but very intimate whispering we were doing. "I think my system just unknotted itself."

"Oh… So…"

"Jake, I love you!" I said, blurting it out over what he was going to say. It was important, crucial and fundamental to my existence that he knew that.

Jake placed his left hand on my cheek and I leant into it, looking deep into his dark brown eyes.

"I love you too Renesmee Cullen." His right arm circled me and pulled me in. "I always have and I always will."

"I know that now."

He kissed me and somewhere I knew that fireworks were exploding in a midnight sky.

The phone rang, I ignored it and kept on kissing Jake, until someone answered it and the pair of us hurriedly pulled apart, to find that it was Dad who had picked it up and answered it. He dealt with the caller and clicked it off. Jake and I stayed exactly where we were, arms wrapped around one another. I was not embarrassed by it. Rose appeared behind him, twisting her hair up into bun and jamming it under a baseball cap.

"You hadn't ended the call Ness; nobody could get through."

"Sorry." Jake stroked my hair. "I was a little distracted." I smirked.

"That's why we're here. Jake, take the afternoon off. Rose and I will finish up the rest of today's work, I think you two need to spend some time together."

"Thanks." Jake said. He looked down at me. "I'll just change, I'm…" He pulled away from me. "Oh... Too late." Some of the oil and grease on his vest top had transferred to mine.

"Normal service has been resumed." said Rosalie, chuckling. "When could you two ever keep yourselves clean?"

"I'll just go change my pants then. Be right back." He slid away from me with a reluctance only matched by my unwillingness to let him go. He jogged over to the office and closed the door.

Dad walked towards me.

"I connected again, I felt it! It felt like…"

"I know what it felt like. I experienced it. " He smiled. "So, there's another world first. That's what happens when a vampire bonds to an imprinted Quileute."

"I bonded to him?" In the way Dad was to Mom, Carlisle was to Esmé and everyone else in my family was to their partners?

"Well, it wasn't so much a bonding as a _fusing_."

"Yeah, I fused!" I thought of the way it had felt like my entire body had been scrambled and put back together, with Jake now wrapped around every single strand of my DNA. "You're not concerned about this?"

He shook his head. "No, this is how it's supposed to be. Your head feel 'right' and I have few qualms about you being with Jake." I was surprised to hear he had _any_. "Just the regular ones." He was amused by something.

I concentrated on the closed office door, imagining Jake changing his pants. "Like what?" I asked, distractedly.

Dad snickered.

"Oh come _on _Ness!" chastised Rose. "You're a woman of the world, figure it out."

"Hmmm?" My mind was agreeably pulling out all the times I'd seen Jake pretty much naked over the years and it took a moment to get past that and process what Rose has said. I did figure it out. "Oh." Funny, but now she mentioned it, there was no way I could think about anything else.

"Oh great." murmured Dad. Jake appeared out of the office, wearing only his black cut off jeans. My mouth fell open; how had I never before noticed how drop-dead gorgeous he was? Dad started laughing. "Thanks Rose, you've unleashed a monster."

"Stop worrying. She's a sensible girl, she takes after her mother."

"That's not helpful." He snickered.

Jake came back over to me and I was beside him in a second, forgetting myself slightly and moving far too quickly for a human. Rose growled a warning.

"Thanks for doing this for me." Jake acknowledged to Dad.

"You're welcome. Please be back at the house for six, we'd like everyone to be there to welcome Randall. And Charlie is coming over. Do me a favour, could you… get out past the Sol Duc springs?"

"Yes? Any particular reason why?"

"He can't hear me if I'm that far out." I replied.

"You can hear her as far as the Sol Duc Springs?

"Yeah."

"Ok." Jake chuckled. "Thanks for the warning."

"Jake…"

"Edward, we've had this conversation already. You know my thoughts, they haven't changed."

"It's not you I'm concerned about, it's…"

"Ness's ability to wrap you around her little finger." Supplied Rose. "So, Edward? I'm assuming you and Bella have had the talk with her; the birds and the bees, the vampires and the wolves and all that?" She smirked.

"Can we go now, or is this going to turn excruciating?" I riled, anxious to be off and away from the insinuations. "_Dad, just trust me on this one_." I added in my head.

"OK." He replied. "See you later."

I grabbed Jake's hand and we jogged out of the building, slipped into the forest and out of sight.

We headed east, keeping to the forests to cover our progress until we found a familiar remote spot, a natural basin that was home to Heart Lake. The pair of us knew Olympic National Park like the back of our hands and we had been here many times before. But coming here for the first time as a couple gave it an added significance. It wasn't the most beautiful of places - a little bleak if I were being honest - but what it lacked in beauty it made up for in remoteness. I walked out of the trees ahead of Jake while he phased back and dressed. I strolled a little way down the slope to the lake and then turned back; suddenly struck that I didn't want to be more than a few feet away from him ever again. I'd been too far away for too long and I wanted to rectify that. I needed that feeling of closeness with him.

To run with him again had been electric. My sluggishness had been vaporised by whatever the bonding process had done to me. I'd run faster than I'd ever run before and he had easily kept pace with me; matching me stride for stride through the forest. I reached the trees again as he exited and I tried not to stare too much at his chest as I was folded into his arms. I inhaled the scent of him deeply, committing each molecule of it to memory. It had always been a familiar and comforting scent, but now it took on additional qualities. It was my anchorage, it was my home and above all, it was my desire.

I tilted my head back to look up at him, resting my chin on his chest.

"That four degrees you lost at Christmas is really noticeable; I feel like I need to keep you warm all the time."

"I've adjusted to it, but feel free to keep me warm. I don't mind staying here at all." I smiled.

"That's good, because you might have to. I don't plan on ever letting you go, Miss Cullen."

"Not even to go to school?"

"Well… School's important, so maybe you can do school, but nothing else. I didn't actually finish High School, so maybe I come too?"

"Aren't you a little old for High School?"

"…says the girl whose father last graduated from it at the age of a hundred and eight."

I chuckled. "Yeah, age is a bit irrelevant in our world. You should come."

"To be honest Ness, I really couldn't stick being lectured to by Mike Newton. Shall we drop down and go sit by the lake?"

We walked down the slope hand in hand, sitting down in the long grass that ringed the lake. The word lake implied something of size; Heart Lake was more of a big pond. The sun was breaking through the cloud layer now and it was turning out to be a really warm afternoon. Insects buzzed in the air around us, collecting pollen from the wild flowers. All around me I could hear the sounds of nature opening up and enjoying the sun - I was determined to be part of that. After what felt like months of rain and of cold in my life, I needed the sun and the warmth. I needed Jake; he was my personal sun.

There was no point in me being subtle about this, I wasn't filled with an overwhelming feeling to be coy and flirtatious; I pushed Jake down onto his back and lay across his chest to kiss him. He didn't appear to mind.

"What did you mean earlier when you said 'eyes'?" He asked later, our lips having disconnected for a moment. "I asked your Dad, but he said to ask you."

"When I was in Denali at Christmas, I was watching the aurora and I couldn't see them properly because of this image of eyes obscuring my view. You know when you've looked at something slightly too long, you close your eyes and you can still the object?" He nodded. "It was like that. But I didn't know who the eyes belonged to, I couldn't match them to anyone I knew, not even you. I've seen you several times since then and your eyes never matched the eyes in the aurora, but today they did."

"That's odd. I haven't done anything to them."

"I know, I wonder what's happened to cause it? It's been an odd few months trying to match the eyes to a person. Melanie, at Seth and Anna's wedding, tried to tell me my future. She said that I'd fall in love with a blond stranger and that the eyes in the aurora were his."

"It's not like you to give credence to fortune tellers, unless they happen to be Alice."

"I don't, but you can't blame me for being curious. How many people would have spoken about an aurora? So I was looking for these eyes in every blond guy I met. Kind of thought it might be Daniel at first. Even sometimes thinking it might be Randall, or Dan."

"I'm sure Jane would be warning you off that particular course of action and I wouldn't bet against Jess in a human fight, from what I've seen of her. You wouldn't want to come between her and whatever she was defending." He chuckled.

"You've spoken to her?"

"Yeah, I like her, she's nice. A total fruit loop, but nice."

"Hey that's my friend!"

"I know, but you have to admit, she's completely crazy. Anybody who wants to willingly hang around with a bunch of vampires has to be." He grinned.

"And hanging around with a bunch of guys who turn into wolves would be…?"

"Completely understandable. We're awesome." He grinned.

I scoffed. "Team Vampire could give your collective asses a good whooping any day."

"Nooo they couldn't." Jake shook his head.

"Yes we could!"

"We?" He looked at me with raised eyebrows. "Whose side are you on?"

"Depends whose winning." I beamed, stopping any further chatter with a kiss. I broke off to ask a question. "What were you doing up at the house anyhow?"

Jake looked serious. "Trying to find you."

"Oh."

"That wasn't a fun place, but there was nowhere else I wanted to be. Thank goodness for Alice."

"Yeah, Aro came in useful for something."

"We were completely clueless 'til then. You covered your tracks well."

I sniffed. "I didn't plan it all that well. It played out rather better than I expected."

My family had no clue to where I'd gone. Dad had told me on the drive up that they had found my car two days later outside Bremerton, so they guessed I'd taken a ferry across to Seattle. But by the time they'd gotten over there, the number of people exiting the ferry terminal over the two days since I'd passed through had eradicated any scent. There was no record of my card use, bank account use, or any suspicious activity on anyone else's account that gave them an indication of how I'd paid for the ticket, who I'd travelled as and where I'd gone to. Charlie had not remembered his brand new credit card that had arrived earlier that week. If he had he'd have discovered precisely how I'd financed my trip. But it did not occur to him that I'd stoop so low as to steal.

It was Alice who gave them a possible lead. She was watching the Volturi commands and was alerted to Aro's decision to travel to San Francisco and collect the gift of a hybrid himself. A hybrid was a rare thing, there weren't too many of them around, so there was a very good chance that this San Francisco hybrid was me.

"When Edward heard that Aro had gone to San Francisco, it was all we could do to stop him from setting off running right there and then. Emmett had to virtually sit on him to stop him leaving before Alice and Bella had at least pulled together some provisions for you, in anticipation of what he might find. Jasper and I volunteered to go and Jane knows Aro really well, so she volunteered too. And then, in the middle of all our preparations, Randall snuck away and Jasper decided that he needed to go and persuade Randall to come back. So I called Seth. When you're in a tight spot, everyone needs a Seth." Jake smiled. "Off we went. Your Dad took the Veyron and the three of us followed in the Volvo. Is it a requirement of his car buying that there needs to be a 'v' in there somewhere?"

I laughed. "It seems like it."

"We got to San Francisco before Aro's plane landed, so Edward just had to get close enough to be able to keep in touch with Aro's mind and follow where he was going. Jane wanted to tackle Aro, so we decided that your Dad and I would concentrate on finding you and Jane and Seth would deal with whatever else we found, simple really. In the end it worked like the British S-A-S: 'in, out, nobody gets hurt.' Well, apart from Aro."

"I got the impression Jane was getting her own back somewhat."

"Yeah. Twelve hundred years of being at his beck and call's going to do that to you." Jake ran his fingers through my hair, down to my shoulders and wrapped his arms around me again, pulling me close to him. "I am so glad we got to you in time."

"I am too." I said, from a very nice place at the base of his throat, where I was listening to his strong heart pump blood around his body. I sunk my teeth into his skin, released and watched the wound heal before my eyes.

Jake laughed "You haven't done that for a long time."

"You're the only one I can do it to."

"My blood still doesn't affect you?"

"No." I smiled, "It's not your blood I want." I let him digest that piece of information.

"O-kay." He said "We're going a little fast here." Little nervous laughs escaped from him. I pulled away a little and he propped himself up on his elbows. "What's the rush Ness? Are you going somewhere again?"

"No. I just know what I want. Is that a problem?" I kind of assumed all men were like Ricky.

"It's not a problem, no. But… not today. Can we… wait?"

"Yeah, ok." I could wait a couple of days, let him adjust to things. I suppose having waited patiently for me for nearly seven years, a few more days was neither here nor there in the grand scheme of things.

"Thanks. I'm not a great one for opening gifts before Christmas."

What he was referring to was not lost on me. "You wanna wait 'til we're _married_?" I almost shrieked. He nodded. "You've been talking to my Dad!" I said angrily.

"I've talked to Edward a lot over the years; I like him, I respect him. And yes, I've come to see things from his point of view on occasions. We have to spend an awful lot of eternity together; so I'd be happier if he wasn't pissed at me for overstepping the mark on day one." I pushed myself off him and rolled back on my heels, I was indignant. He reached for me, running his hand down my arm. "Ness, don't be angry. I've known you all your life and until these last few months, we were together almost every day. But it's always been about friendship before, this is different. We need time to get used to one another again and to… enjoy being a couple. We don't need to rush and do everything today; more than most we have time on our side."

He spoke sensible words, but that didn't appease the desires coursing through me. "How soon can I marry you?"

He laughed. "I think your parents might want you to finish up High School first."

"Crap."

"And then possibly University."

"Pfft!" I blew a raspberry at that.

"And then you need to get yourself a good job, so shall we say married at twenty five, or in your case, fifteen?"

"You're joking right?"

"No." His eyes twinkled with amusement.

I turned it back on him, unleashing a little more of my vampire side. "Eight years?" I leaned forward again, pushing him back down onto the grass. I ran my nose along the line of his jaw and my fingers over his chest. "You want to wait for me for eight _years_." I emphasized the last word and left that one with him; pulling back to see the hoped-for look blazing in his eyes. He swallowed and I thrilled at my victory.

Eight years? I'd see if he could last eight days.

Just before six o'clock, Jake and I returned to the house. Grampa was already here, his cruiser was parked out front, but there was no scent that Jasper, Alice, Emmett and Randall had returned yet.

We walked up the steps and into the house hand in hand. Everyone was assembled in the living room, even Carlisle who had now returned. Mom came straight over, grabbing a pile of clothes from the back of the sofa as she did so. She smiled broadly at us both and handed me the clothes.

"They are four minutes away, go change." The clothes she handed me were some of the ones Alice had bought me. I realised that this would be my way of accepting Alice's apology for what she'd said.

I dashed upstairs to one of the bathrooms and before I yanked off my dirty clothes, I caught sight of myself in the mirror. I looked as if I'd brought half of the forest in with me. There were bits of things in my hair, smudges of oil, grease, dirt and grass stains on my top and looking down, I had one white and one light brown tennis shoe from the chocolate I'd spilt on them. I grinned at my reflection – yes, this was me – I could not keep myself clean to save my life.

I changed into the red cotton dress that Alice had bought for me, pulled the foliage from my hair and ran back downstairs. Jake was waiting at the bottom and we walked back into the living room together.

Jess was sat on the sofa between Dan and Jane; she gave me a nervous smile. Mom and Dad were stood behind her with Daniel, Carlisle and Esmé. Rose was stood by the window scanning the forest and Grampa was sat in an armchair. He had come straight from the station and was still in his uniform. I flitted over to him and he stood up. He hugged me and I heard him exhale slowly and deeply.

"I am so glad you are back."

"Thank you. I'm sorry about the credit card."

"Yeah… Well your Dad sorted that." I said thank you to him in my head.

"They're thirty seconds away." Dad said and the atmosphere in the room palpably shifted. I turned around to look at Jess. She was running her hand across her stomach and staring into space. She suddenly turned to Dan and looked at him; he smiled reassuringly at her. She reached out and grabbed his hand and squeezed it, just for a moment and then winced in pain as the baby moved and put strain on her cracked ribs. Rose was instantly kneeling in front of her.

"I'm fine, I'm fine!" Jess said but nobody was convinced as her face was still contorted. "It's stopped now." She exhaled heavily through her mouth.

"They're here." Said Dad and all eyes turned towards the door as we heard feet on the steps outside and the front door opened.

Into the living room came Emmett, followed by Alice with Randall and Jasper bring up the rear. Each of them carried a large holdall.

"Welcome back Randall." Said Carlisle.

"We are so glad you're back." Added Esmé.

"Thank you." Randall looked over at Jess and his face betrayed a variety of emotions that I was sure he would rather speak of in private to her.

"We stopped by his apartment to collect some things," said Alice. "I'll just take them up to your room." She collected the three other holdalls and sped up the stairs.

There were more welcomes from people before Jasper reminded everyone of what really needed to happen.

"I'm sure you and Jess have things to talk about, we'll give you some space." Jasper's expression made it clear we should all leave and we obeyed, filing out past Randall as we left.

"You're back." He said to me. "I'm so glad."

"Likewise." I replied and smiled. There would be time to chat later.

Jake and I walked through the kitchen and out onto the back lawn to the far edge, where tree trunks marked the boundary between the lawn and the forest. Grampa followed.

"I hope you don't mind." He said. "But can we talk?"

"Sure." I replied, sitting closely next to Jake on a log.

Grampa stood in front of us. "Your Mom tells me you two are together now."

I beamed and took Jake's hand. "Yes!"

"I've been told a little about the whole… bonding thing. It's… weird. This has been going on since you were a baby?"

"Not in this form; obviously." Said Jake.

"Oh I understood that part. I have to say Jake, you've been remarkably patient."

"I love her. I would have waited forever." We looked into each others eyes and at this point there was the predictable mush you found in soppy romantic novels.

Grampa cleared his throat, reminding us of his existence. "So we need to get our stories straight." I reluctantly angled myself away from Jake and gave my full attention to Grampa. "As far as the rest of the world is concerned, Jess is in a clinic in Seattle. The story that she was attacked is now common knowledge, as is this more recent development that she's suffering from PTSD and has gone to spend a few weeks getting some help with that. Your disappearance I've explained as being a year since your parents died and what with that and the incident with Jess, you'd gone to spend a few days with some friends back in New Hampshire. Is that ok?" I nodded; it was a very believable story. "Now; are you coming back to the house tonight?"

"Yes, I should do. It's a little crowded here."

"Yes, and we need to maintain some kind of normality, whatever normality is these days, I can't remember."

"This is normality Charlie," said Jake. "This is the reality of our lives. We live with it, we deal with it. I have a harder time with the supposed 'real world' than I do with all this. There are times when I'm not sure who the vampires are, this family or the people I read about in the papers."

"You're not wrong there." Grampa sighed. "I'm going to head back, get some dinner. I'll see you later?"

"Yes." I kissed him goodbye and watched him walk across the lawn back to the house.

My phone beeped with an incoming text message. I ignored it. A minute later there was another one, I ignored that too. I was saying goodnight to Jake and that required all my attention. He had politely kissed me goodnight at the front door - in front of Grampa no less - but had 'forgotten' to say something and had climbed back in through my window. There was some less-than-polite kissing going on now. I'd have to make it through an entire night without him, so I needed to make sure I got enough of him to last until morning.

My phone rang, I growled; but answered it anyway to save on Grampa remonstrating with me about people phoning, at what Jess had all got us calling 'stupid o'clock'. I didn't look who it was.

"Hello?"

"Go to bed." It was Dad.

I scoffed. "You called for that?"

"Yes, it's late. It's time for Jake to leave now."

"It's not a school night."

"Is that your Dad?" Jake asked. I nodded. He held out his hand for the phone. I gave it to him.

"Edward? I really don't think you have a leg to stand on if _you're_ going to be the one reminding girls in this room that it's time for bed. Just sayin'." He chuckled. Oh? Were there a few double-standards here?

Jake laughed and looked at me. "Oh I'll tell her _all_ about you and Bella, don't you worry about that. 'Night, Edward." Jake clicked off the phone and gave it back to me.

"So?" I waited for the gossip on my parents, but none came. He pulled me back close to him, I did not object to the alternative.

"We can talk about them some other time; but I need to kiss you goodnight."

"I thought you did that already?" I whispered.

"Er… No. That was the '_it's been an awesome day, I'm so glad we're finally together'_, kiss. _This_ is the goodnight kiss."

How he ever thought I'd get to sleep after that, was beyond me.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter ****Twenty Seven: Bonds**

There was no dragging my sorry ass off the mattress this morning, I was up, washed, dressed and pacing about the kitchen before Grampa had had time to drink a first cup of coffee.

"Ok, you're going to have to slow down a bit, I can't cope with you zipping about at this hour of the morning, it's inhuman. Hmm… Bad choice of word. It's… annoying. And lose the grin." I looked at him; he was sat at the kitchen table in his bathrobe. He wasn't angry with me; his eyes were smiling even if his mouth couldn't quite manage it before the caffeine got into his system. It was five forty five and a large, black and very shiny pick-up truck pulled up outside the house. I rushed to the door, pulled it open and waited for Jake to come down the drive. He had finally left my room just over five hours ago, but it had felt like an eternity. In front of Grampa there was a polite good morning kiss. "And where are you two off to at this hour?"

"Good morning Charlie, I hope you don't mind, but I'm taking Ness out for breakfast."

"Nope I don't mind. Go ahead and kill things, or whatever it is you guys do." He stood up and walked past us, mussing my hair as he went. As he walked up the stairs he gave me a look. "Be good." He said, quite sternly and carried on climbing.

"I will. See you later."

We parked up at the workshop and covertly entered the forest from there. While we were together as a couple, to the wider world we'd have to build this one up slowly. Suddenly being inseparable from a guy you wouldn't have given the time of day to this time last week, would be odd. Also, I was still at school and I was under the care of Forks' Police Chief. Being in a relationship with Jake might open Grampa up to comments from those people who spend their lives passing comment on other people's lives. We could do without the scrutiny; there was too much at stake.

Jake and I would go back to being the friends we had started to become when I 'arrived' and before my head had gone and got itself tangled in knots. Perhaps, in time, as far as the outside world was concerned, my friendship with Jake might turn into something else. Only those closest to us would know the truth. While we couldn't be openly together in Forks, we could be together in the forest and that's precisely what we planned to do; spend as much time in the forest as we could.

As it always had been, right from me being small, the pair of us sped through the forest; fitting in a breakfast hunt this morning before Jake had to open up the repair shop and put in a days work. Everything around me seemed to sparkle, as if the world had received a fresh coat of paint since yesterday. The sky was bluer; the grass was greener, the bark rougher and the air fresher. My senses felt alive and they were working overtime processing every new facet of this brilliant world. I wanted to dance and shout for joy as we periodically ran out of the trees into sun-lit glades. It would be a perfect day to go and hang out in our most favourite place, the little meadow; but there sadly wasn't the time this morning.

I said goodbye to Jake in the forest by the repair shop. Now I knew what Emily meant, when she told me last November that it hurt for her and Sam to be apart. Even the _thought_ of spending eight or nine hours away from Jake made my chest ache. We'd be back in each other's arms this evening, but the day stretched out in front of me like a yawning chasm.

Finally, we managed to part; he for his work and I to pick my way back down to Grampa's house. I came up through the forest, climbing unseen through a back window, to change (I was grubby again) and to exit the house for the second time, at a more reasonable hour and to pick up my car. If anyone asked I was off to see Jess in Seattle.

The first part was right anyhow.

Grandma and Carlisle were in the kitchen when I arrived. It was a quarter after eight and Grandma was cooking breakfast. There was a tray set up on the counter top, a bowl of cereal and a carton of milk already on it.

"Good morning!" She said and I greeted both of them, snuggling up to Carlisle as he was returning to Port Hardy today. He had taken a leave of absence for a 'family emergency' from the hospital, but he had to return there now and leave Jess in the care of my Dad. With two medical degrees himself, Dad would look after Jess for the remainder of her pregnancy and Carlisle would return for the birth.

The front door opened and in came Dan and Jane.

"You're just in time." Called Esmé, "breakfast is served!"

"Excellent!" Dan rubbed his hands together and came through to the kitchen, Jane skipping along behind him, wrinkling her nose at the smell of bacon. Food did not smell good to full vampires. "I've got something for you, Ness." Said Dan, pulling off his backpack and opening up a pocket. "I found a stash of it in the cupboard at home, thought you'd like to try it, seeing as you're a bit of a chocolate lover." Dan handed me the bar, it was a brand I didn't recognise, _Green & Blacks_; it must be a British brand. I didn't have the heart to tell him that chocolate no longer had the pull for me that it did.

"Thanks!" I said, faking some enthusiasm.

"Go on, try some." He said.

"What, _now_? It's too early."

"It's never too early for chocolate, get that down you, girl." Dan took the bacon roll from Esmé. "Thanks Mrs C." He said.

"You're welcome! I'll get this tray up to your sister. Ness do you want to come up?"

"Is Jess awake?"

"Yes."

"How is she?"

"Oh she's fine," replied Carlisle. "She and Randall had a long talk last night; cleared the air and gave us all some new words for our vocabulary." Carlisle chuckled.

"Twonk?" I said, guessing Jess's preferred way of referring to someone who had done something a little stupid.

"Yes, Twonk. That made me laugh. Sometimes, when she speaks, I'm almost tempted to ask for subtitles."

"You get used to it. Is Randall upstairs?"

"No, he's just stepped out while Jess has her blood, but he'll be back shortly."

I followed Grandma upstairs and into my Dad's old bedroom which Jess and Randall were now using. She was propped up the huge wrought-iron bed in a nest of pillows. Her long blonde hair was catching the morning sun and fell in a glossy curtain over her right shoulder. She looked reassuringly well and to my great relief, happy. The smile was back on her face.

Grandma put the tray down in front of Jess and whisked the empty blood-stained glass and flask away off the bedside table. I sat down on the bed and could not help but bite back a snigger when Jess nearly inhaled the cereal in her desire to eat it as quickly as possible.

"Hey, slow down, you'll give yourself indigestion." Grandma warned.

"I'm starving!" Jess mumbled her mouth full of food. She spied the chocolate in my hand. "Oh that's good stuff!" Cereal sprayed from her mouth. "Where d'ya get that from?"

"Dan gave it to me."

"I'll share it with you." Jess raced through her breakfast and collapsed back into the pillows content and, for the moment, full. She rubbed her stomach; it was definitely larger this morning.

"I feel like I'm eating for four. Come on, crack open the chocolate, girl."

"You still hungry?" After what she's just eaten I'd be stuffed for a week.

"I can squeeze a bit more in." She grinned; this was the Jess I knew. I snapped the bar down the middle and gave half to her. She tore the wrapper off and bit off a large chunk. I took the tiniest bite, flopped back onto the bed and kicked my feet with delight. The world didn't just _look_ better after bonding to Jake; it _tasted_ better too! Chocolate was back to gloriousness and Jess was right, it was good stuff! I took a larger bite and let it melt in my mouth, wriggling around on the quilt with glee. "What are you _like_?" she snickered. "It's only chocolate."

"You have no idea." I mumbled through a full mouth. Everything was right with the world again.

It was a little while later that Randall appeared and while Jess went off to shower he and I had our first chance to talk.

Randall was looking a little smarter now. Dumpster guy had clean clothes, clean hair and in Susie Taylor's words 'look like he belonged to someone.' He relaxed against the pillows; the blanket he'd wrapped Jess up in so he could hold her was now pooled along his side. I was lounging across the bottom of the bed. I had a lot of questions for him.

"What attracted you to Jess?" I asked.

Randall smiled broadly. "I tripped and fell into her eyes." His accent was southern, but not as pronounced as Jasper's was.

Hearing that was not unexpected, even I'd noticed the intensity of them. "They're quite something," I agreed. "A bit like falling into a black hole?"

"Yeah, from which there's no escape. Not that I want to escape; I got scared." He looked at me; there was sadness in his eyes. "The best thing that ever happened to me is the one thing I stand the greatest chance of losing."

"She's doing really well." I tried to sound encouraging, but both of us knew things were far from clear-cut. We had a two week battle ahead of us to keep Jess alive and as the baby got bigger it would put more and more strain on her body. She was already in possession of precious few intact ribs.

"You know her family quite well, are they close?"

I nodded. "They're not in each other's pockets, but they have a relaxed cohesion about them. Brian, her Dad, is quite quiet although he does have his moments; mostly about soccer, or football as he insists on calling it. Her Mom's lovely, so welcoming. When things were really bad with Grampa and Sue, I wanted to move in there. Susie - Mrs Taylor - takes more of an interest in me than Sue ever did. She's a great cook too; Grandma and she would get on great."

"I've seen them, but I've never met them."

"When did you see them?"

"Jess and I used to grab time together on Saturdays in Port Angeles, so I've seen them from a distance. It doesn't make it any easier for me to deal with what I'm doing to their daughter. And now Dan's with Jane. They stand to lose both of their children at the hands of vampires and that's hard for me to deal with; to be potentially causing them so much pain."

"Dan and Jane are not your problem; that was…" I thought about that. "Actually, I don't know what that was. He should have recoiled from her, been naturally repelled by her, afraid of her even, but he wasn't."

"No, Jess wasn't of me."

"I think there's something freaky about the Taylor twins." I laughed, Randall smiled. "The more I think about it, the more curious I become. For instance; of all the people they could have met on their first day at Forks High School, they met me. Of all the people that Dan could have fallen for, he falls for Jane. Of all the hundreds of people in The Shed that night, you met Jess. Although…" I tailed off; not exactly sure mentioning the next bit was in Jess's favour. But Randall could see where I was going.

"It was because I look like Alric, I know." He smiled. "I've seen the show. It's truly dreadful." We both laughed.

"How do they get it so wrong?" I mused.

"Let's face it; the reality of vampire life is somewhat monotonous, so you'd need to invent some exciting bits, like sleeping under the floorboards. Sitting up all night writing reviews of bands and killing a few animals every two weeks doesn't make for exciting primetime TV."

"How did you end up doing that as a job?"

"I've always liked music, so when I decided to get out of the traditional vampire life I started off with what I was interested in. I never progressed from that. It made it easier that it was just as the internet was taking off and I could exploit that way of working. It meant that I didn't have to seek more formal employment, which could have been difficult – although Carlisle seems to manage it."

"Yeah, although he has had several hundred years of practice."

Randall laughed. "Perhaps I should give it a try; I could be good at it by twenty two hundred."

"Why did you make the switch?"

"It was Peter and Charlotte telling me about how weird Jasper had gotten after he'd hooked up with you guys that piqued my interest. I was having an increasingly harder time dealing with what I was doing. They came back from visits and poured scorn on what he was doing, ridiculing the living in houses, taking college courses and holding down regular jobs. That only served to make me want that even more. I envied humans; I wanted the normality. I'd had enough of the endless round of killing and having no place to call my own. I had a few abortive attempts at it, but I finally successfully made the switch in 1995. Since then things have settled into a good place and a couple of years ago I moved to Seattle. I originally came to do some freelance work for a club, but liked it so much that I stayed."

"There was no one else before Jess?" I thought back to the woman I'd seen him with at The Shed that time.

He shook his head. "No, although I did try and warn Jess off by bringing Marcie to the club."

"Marcie?"

"She's a fellow freelance journalist in Seattle. I was trying my best to stop myself falling in love with Jess and likewise her from taking an interest in me." He rolled his eyes. "It was hopeless. It was done deal the second I saw her." I laughed, remembering the tirade of expletives that Jess had directed at Randall and Marcie that night, thinking he had another woman. "In the end I couldn't fight it anymore and Jess was relentless. She was always there; emails, text messages, instant messaging and phone calls. So bright, so chatty, so lovely and..."

"Completely mad?" I added.

Randall grinned. "Yes, faced with that, it was only a matter of time before I caved."

Jess came back into the room, her hair wrapped in a towel. "Aye aye are you talking about me?"

"In a good way." Replied Randall. Jess sat down at the dressing table, pulled off the towel and set about combing her hair through. Randall got up off the bed. "Let me do that for you." Jess gave him the comb and he quickly but gently untangled her hair. She closed her eyes and occasionally yawned.

"I am so tired." She complained. "All I do is sleep and eat and I'm still exhausted." She opened her eyes and looked at me through the mirror. "Did Alice tell you what she's cooked up to keep my Mum and Dad in Britain for another week?"

"No?"

"Airline strike. Massive one; focussing on the transatlantic routes. British Airways, Virgin Atlantic, American Airlines, United; _everyone_ who flies to and from the US has been affected by strike action."

"No way!" I scoffed. "How's she managed that?"

"I don't know, but I'm not complaining, it keeps them out of the way. It feels like British Airways staff are always on strike, so it's nicely inconspicuous. No one will think anything of it and by the time they do, it won't be needed."

I didn't want to dwell on the possibilities why it wouldn't be needed.

Randall finished Jess's hair and dried it off for her with the hairdryer while she almost fell asleep sitting up. When he'd finished, he scooped her up, placed her back in bed, got in beside her and wrapped her in the blanket; cradling her in his arms where she very quickly drifted off to sleep. That was my cue to leave.

With Jake at work for the rest of the day, I was at an uncomfortable loose end. I wandered back downstairs and noted that Carlisle's case was by the door. I went through into the living room and found him talking to Jane and Dan.

"It's certainly encouraging news, although he can be unpredictable so I wouldn't take anything as cut and dried – he's essentially a giant ego - but keep me posted on anything further."

"I will, it's good to have your insight into these things Jane. I was only there for a short time, but you know him better than almost anyone."

"There are days when I wish I didn't." She sighed.

"He sounds a right one." Said Dan. "How did you manage to stick it for twelve hundred years?"

"Because I didn't know that there could be anything better and those times when we did find something better, Aro would make sure that everyone saw it the way he did' negatively; as likely to cause harm to the glorious Volturi. If it hadn't been for you, I'd have still been there."

"That's just incredible. It does my head in." Dan shook his head slowly then got up. "Excuse me, I need the bathroom." Dan turned to me. "How's Jess?"

"She seems fine this morning, she's asleep now."

"Lazy cow, she's only just got up."

"Dan, your sister's body is under a lot of strain right now." Carlisle said "It's inevitable she's going to sleep a lot more."

"Oh I know that. It's just…"

I laughed. "You can't talk about your sister in nice terms can you?" It was never nasty, but Jess and Dan were as bad as each other when it came to verbal sparring.

"Oh no," Dan smiled. "If she got wind of how much I really love her she'd be insufferable. You have to keep these sisters in their place, can't let them get the idea they're good at anything or have done anything right." He did love his sister, but in that curious British way he was damned if he was showing it. The good-natured sparring, the sniping, the constant put-down's were Dan's slightly odd way of telling his sister how much he loved her. It worked the same way with Jess; she never had a good word for her brother.

Dan left the living room followed by Carlisle. I sat down on the sofa next to Jane, she was wearing one of my old dresses and it suited her far better than it ever had me.

"So how are things going with Dan?" I asked.

The big beaming smile on her face didn't need much explanation. "I can't believe that it's happening, I didn't know it was possible to be so happy." To look at her you'd see only the merest scrap of a young teenage girl. Jane was tiny, but she was older than all of us put together, older than possibly every tree that surrounded the house. But there was one crucial point in all this; had Jane allowed herself to bond with Dan or was this just a casual thing for her, for them even? Our Denali cousin Tanya had, for want of a better word, dated other men, but Brad was the only one that she had bonded with. If Jane had bonded with Dan it was permanent and there's be no going back for her, she'd always love him. I went fishing for answers; I needed to know how things stood with them.

"How did Dan take you telling him what you are? What did you say?"

She smiled. "It didn't happen the way I wanted it to, I kind of… blurted it out. One of those '…and by the way I'm a vampire,' comments you tag onto the end of something else."

I laughed. "Really? You just snuck it in there? Was there much screaming and running away?"

"No, there was a lot of staring at me and silence. He didn't speak for nearly two minutes, it was excruciating! When he did finally get words out he said… no, you guess what he said."

"Something typically Dan-ish?"

"You mean random and doesn't quite follow? Yes." Jane replied chuckling.

"I've got absolutely no idea." Dan could have come out with literally anything.

"He said 'So I guess Pizza Hut's out of the question?'"

I laughed. "Yeah because when you find out the girl you're with is a vampire, your automatic next thought is of Pizza Hut." I shook my head. That was typical Dan; his brain was wired in a completely different way to the rest of us. "He didn't react negatively at all?"

"Not really, no. He just went into insanely curious mode; I haven't stopped answering questions since, although; he was a little shocked about you."

"Why?"

"I think it was because he had no idea that you were anything other than a regular girl. Well done, you blended in seamlessly. I'm so envious. That was the only bit that really shocked him. That and discovering you had a Vanquish parked in the garage; he went a bit ballistic over that."

I chuckled; it had been amusing that it was a car that had annoyed Dan the most. "Why do you think that both Dan and Jess are not reacting the way they're supposed to around vampires? Why there's no screaming and running away but accepting us as if we're completely normal? You've had more experience of this than we have."

"I think some people are destined to be vampires."

Jane's comment almost made my heart stop. "You think Dan and Jess are going to be vampires?"

Jane nodded. "Dan definitely, I've spoken to Alice to ask what she sees for me and him. Jess we don't know about, there are too many variables."

I went for it; no point dancing around the issue now; if Dan was going to be a vampire then I needed to know that he was going to be with someone who loved him. "Jane, have you bonded with him?"

A quiet, beatific smile spread across her face. "I don't know what it's like for humans, I don't really have a clear picture of how he feels about me, but I can never love anyone else. Yes, I've bonded with him." She looked suddenly uncertain. "Do you know if there's anything equivalent for humans?"

I shook my head. "No, nothing as permanent, they just choose to be with you."

"So him choosing to be with me means that he loves me?"

Heavy footsteps on the stairs alerted us to Dan's imminent return. "I don't know, I think you might have to ask him about the whole love thing. But it's definite then? Dan's going to be one of us?"

"That's what Alice sees right now."

Things could change, it wasn't a given, Dan could change his mind and his future would alter in a flash. Dan came back into the living room. I got up from the sofa and he sat back down, pulling Jane towards him and kissing her temple.

He sighed.

"What's the matter?" Asked Jane, eyeing him with concern.

Dan shook his head. "Nothing," he replied brightly. "Just expressing my contentment, that's all."

"Careful Dan, that sounds dangerously like you have feelings for Jane. I thought emotions were outlawed in Britain?" I snickered.

"No, we have feelings; we just don't wave them about for all to see, like Americans do."

I played devil's advocate, might as well see if I could get him to admit how he truly felt about her and get some clarity on the situation. "So you're in love with Jane?" Let's see him wriggle out of that one.

Dan looked at me and then tried to look down at Jane but she was tucked under his chin, almost hiding from what he may not say. He looked back to me again with eyes that were rock steady. "Well that's no secret. Yes, I'm in love with Jane." There was no joking now, he was deadly serious. "…for eternity." He added and pulled her tighter to him. "Does that answer your question?" His eyes never once flicked away from mine. Damn, just when you think you had the measure of this guy he does something you don't expect.

"Yes." I said, in a somewhat feeble voice. I tried to picture Dan with gold eyes and even paler skin, I found it surprisingly easy. Maybe Jane was right; some people really were destined to be vampires.

But did he really know what he might be signing up for? Did he appreciate that becoming a vampire wasn't like going vegan and being a bit difficult to cater for at family events? Becoming a vampire and spending eternity with Jane would mean that family events would be a thing of the past; unless he came to ours. Becoming a vampire wasn't a lifestyle choice, it wasn't something you could do at the weekend or when you felt like it. Someone needed to talk to Dan about the implications of any choice he made; or, heaven forbid, if Jane lost control of herself. They'd need to do it soon. Perhaps Mom would be the best placed to speak to him, she still had living relatives and the distance that had to be set up between her and her Mom was not easy to maintain. Periodically, Renee got angry at the lack of communication and made a concerted effort to get in touch, threatening to get on a plane and come see them. That absolutely could not happen with Dan. He was deep in thought now, running his nose along the top of Jane's head. He shivered a little. Jane looked around, got up and dragged over a throw that she placed between them before going back to almost hiding under his chin.

With Jess asleep and Dan having newly declared his love for Jane I felt like a spare part. I wanted to be with Jake but pitching up at the garage would just distract him, take him away from his work and I didn't want to be the cause of any additional stress. I could not wait to see him, he said he'd stop by after work and we had all evening to be together, but having to wait until then was agony!

My phone beeped with an incoming text message, it was Zak reminding me of our upcoming gig down in Olympia on July 11th a mere two weeks away and our need to rehearse. Oh crap! With everything that had been going on, the date had completely slipped my mind. Looks like it had Dan too; he came tearing out of the living room, clutching his phone. Jane followed.

"I'd completely forgotten!" He said a look of panic in his eyes. "That's the day before Jess is going to have the baby. "She can't possibly go!"

"I know. What do you want to do, pull out? We could always use the cover story as an excuse. Say we're not up to doing it while Jess is in the clinic?" I instantly knew that didn't sit well with Dan.

"Zak would be livid if we didn't go and I don't particularly want to miss this opportunity. We could do it; we could be there and back in a day." Distance really wasn't the issue it was only three hours each way.

"What about keyboards? We can't really do without them."

"I've been thinking about that, for the future, in case…"Neither of us wanted to think about the 'in case… "What about Karl?"

"Karl Stevens?"

"Yeah, he's a good player, if we got in touch now he'd have time to get up to speed."

"Sounds good. Suggest it to Zak."

"Are you OK to rehearse tonight?" I pulled a face; I wanted to spend the evening with Jake. "Hey Mr Car Mechanic man can hang around next door until you're done." Dan grinned. "Someday you're going to have to explain to me what an intelligent girl like you is doing hanging about with a grease monkey." Dan and Jess didn't know Jake's secret yet.

"There's more to him than meets the eye." I said enigmatically.

"I really don't want to know what's down his trousers." Dan replied, with a wink. We were in danger of this descending into innuendo, which was where Dan frequently ended up if left unchecked.

I laughed; he'd left himself uncharacteristically wide open for my retort. I leant closer to him. "Jane and I will compare notes one day." I flashed a toothy grin and giggled. If she could have done, Jane would have blushed and for a second she didn't know where to look. Oh my goodness had they already taken this to the next stage? Then I remembered her earlier comment, about peering into the bathroom window when he was taking a shower. It struck me why she was looking so sheepish, she hadn't admitted to him that she'd been doing it! That made me laugh even more.

"Glad to hear somebody's happy." Said Emmett, coming in through the front door with Rose. "Although it may cost you money for me not to reveal what you were talking about to your parents."

I blew a raspberry at my Uncle. "Like he doesn't know everything already."

"True. Ten miles huh?" I nodded. "That sucks."

"Tell me about it."

"Morning Dan, Jane." continued Emmett. "How was breakfast this morning?"

"As superior as ever." Replied Dan. "I've requested muffins tomorrow."

"Esmé's doing requests now? I'm seriously missing out here."

"You are. It's quite something when the best cook in America is a vampire."

"What? Even better than your Nigella Lawson?" Emmett turned to Rose "Isn't that who Esmé was enthusing over the other week?" Rose nodded.

"My Mum's got loads of her books, I'll have to bring some over for her."

"Like Esmé needs more recipe books." Laughed Rose. "She should quit the house renovation business and open a restaurant."

Carlisle appeared out of the kitchen, Esmé at his side. "I've been telling her that for years." He said, looking adoringly at Grandma, he was leaving for Port Hardy.

"I enjoy cooking for my family; it's a treat to have a few more mouths to feed. I was thinking of trying out the classic British Roast Beef and Yorkshire pudding on Sunday and inviting Charlie, Jake and Billy over. What do you think?" Esmé looked seriously at Dan, his approval of her choice clearly meant a lot to her.

"Er… Mrs C? Just a word of warning." Dan scratched his head as if he were perplexed by something.

"Yes, what is it?" Esmé was concerned.

"If you keep cooking like this, then it's entirely possible that you might never get rid of me."

"Aww!" Grandma appreciated the compliment.

"Start burning stuff now Esmé. "Joked Emmett.

"Oh stop it! If I could cook for you Emmett, I would. You know that."

Carlisle left for Port Hardy and the Cullen house became a constant stream of people coming in and going out during the afternoon. Jess woke up just after lunch and Randall brought her down. She made her way over to the piano and played, while Randall sat on the stool next to her. Various members of my family drifted in and out, staying a while to hear her play. The songs we played in the band didn't really allow Jess the opportunity to display her talent, which was considerable. She was a very proficient classical pianist, something my Dad commented on when he and Mom arrived with Daniel later that afternoon.

With my plans for the evening now including a rehearsal time down at the car repair place, it was wholly justified for me to rock up there early just as Jake was finishing up for the day. I stood inconspicuously at the back of the workshop as the shutters slowly rolled down. As they reached the ground I was instantly over to him with absolutely no concessions made to humanity. I had one hour before our rehearsal and every second apart would be a waste. It had been an incredibly long day; every second had felt like a year but all my impatience and the dull ache that had been my permanent companion since we parted first thing, evaporated as our lips connected. I felt whole again.

"I'll go grab some dinner and come back at nine." Jake whispered quietly, kissing my eyelashes.

"Stay." I whispered back. I couldn't bear to be parted from him for another two hours.

"I'm a little hungry." As if to underline that, his stomach rumbled. I was hungry too, but not for food. Thinking about _my_ particular hunger made my breathing ragged. If there was any doubt about my animal side, here was where it was evident.

I gazed into his soft brown eyes, what I saw there was pure, unadulterated love and it quelled the prowling animal inside me. As we kissed for the millionth time I heard the sound of two cars pull up outside; Zak and Dan were here; it was time to leave my secret love and enter the 'normal' world. How different to six months ago! Then I would have been out of Jake's sight and hanging with the guys in a flash and now here I was, virtually welded to him.

By the time Dan and Zak had unloaded and made their way into our rehearsal space I had disengaged from Jake and was busying myself adjusting my microphone stand. Jake had slipped out of a side door promising me faithfully that he would be back at the garage at nine. I'd left him with a bite. His blood was not appealing in the way other human blood would be, I didn't want to feed off him, but his blood was special; it was uniquely Jake and in the two hours we were going to be apart the taste of him would keep me going.

Dan came over and we exchanged arms-length pleasantries as if we hadn't seen each other in ages. Dan's expression told me that he understood the fine line he now had to tread between the two parts of his life. But he had a warning for me.

"Put your eyes away." He whispered.

"What?"

"Your eyes, they're… um…" He leant a little closer in. "You've been with Jake, I can tell."

"What do you mean?"

He looked a little sheepish. "That's a really bad case of 'come to bed' eyes you've got; although it's not so much 'come to bed' as… 'you're dinner'."

"You can see that?" I hissed.

He nodded. "Sort it out. Think of something sad."

That wasn't hard, I thought of what could happen to Jess and in seconds Dan nodded that my eyes had returned to normal. I went to greet Zak and caught up on his latest news.

Ricky arrived, hand in hand with Chrissy. Her pregnancy was just starting to show and I knew, from the grapevine, that they were going to make a go of it. It was brave of them to be so public; this is was a small place with equally small minds in some quarters.

As we assembled in our group it was hard not to ignore the empty space behind Jess's keyboards.

"I'm sorry to hear about Jess." Zak broached. "How is she?"

Dan's responses had been carefully worked out in agreement with my family. We had to hope for the best but at the same time plan for the worst.

"It's early days and she's a bit all over the place at the moment. They are hoping that a week or two more will enable us to see some improvement. But she's fragile."

"So she won't be back for the 11th?"

That was an easy one to answer. "No. Did you get in touch with Karl?"

"Yes." Replied Zak "He can't do tonight, but he can do tomorrow if you guys are up for another rehearsal? Olympia gives us a great opportunity to reach a new audience we should go there as good as we can be."

I felt listless. Time was when I would have hung on Zak's every word about the band; it had been my lifeline of sanity in some of my darkest moments this year. But now, with the worry of Jess, the different worry of Dan and my raging desire to spend every moment with Jake; the band had fallen a long way down my priorities list.

"Hey Ness?" Called Zak, his voice pulled me from my cogitations. "You up for this? You don't seem sure."

"I'm fine." I gave him a lame smile. "Just worried about Jess, that's all."

"Sure." Zak replied brusquely. "But we're here to work. Let's go." And with no more mentions of Jess, Ricky counted us in and we started to rehearse.

It had been a while since I'd done this and an awful lot had happened to me since I'd last stood behind a microphone. It was inevitable that my experiences would come out in how I sang the songs. Some made more sense, some made less. Periodically, I would find Dan looking over at me, lips pursed as if he was gnawing at the inside of his cheek. He was playing the notes but his head was clearly elsewhere. During a break he came over.

"Does this get easier? How did you do this, keep your two lives apart and not go mad?" He asked, quietly.

I very nearly had done, but I answered him with the truth. "It's a skill you need to learn - and fast." I dropped my voice further. "Speak to my M… Bella," I corrected myself, even I made slips. "I'm sure she can help, she's been here."

Dan nodded "I will."

Nine o'clock came and as the guys pulled away in their cars, I surreptitiously snuck into the forest, to the wolf I knew was waiting for me.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter ****Twenty Eight: Last Day**

In both public and private, Dan was the concerned brother; but for very different reasons. Apart from returning to his house to sleep and do basic chores, he spent his waking hours at the Cullen house. As June turned into July his cheery bonhomie began to evaporate, as he became increasingly worried for his sister.

He appeared in public every few days to buy groceries that Esmé gave him a list for and to answer the frequent questions about how Jess was. He also answered the pointed comments; that it was odd for Susie Taylor to have jetted off to England and deserted her daughter when she needed her the most. Dan had an answer for this. Susie's Mom was old and if they left it much longer Susie might not get another opportunity to see her, a few more months might be too late. Jess needed rest and Dan, as her twin, was on hand to visit her when she was up to receiving visitors - which wasn't often. Jess may be in the clinic for several weeks and there would be plenty of time for Susie to visit her daughter when she got back.

As cover-stories went it wasn't outside the bounds of possibility. In reality it had almost resulted in manhandling Susie Taylor onto the flight at SeaTac; she was adamant she wasn't going but thankfully, his Dad - seeing that his daughter needed peace and quiet not a fussing mother - had finally persuaded her.

"Such a pity about the airline strike though." Commented Mrs Green earlier in the week, the day I had accompanied Dan to the supermarket. Esmé was apparently feeding the five thousand judging by today's list.

"Yes, hopefully they'll sort it out and they'll be back soon." replied Dan.

"And how is your sister?"

"Fragile." He replied, sadly. It was no lie; she was starting to struggle.

Jess was putting on a brave face but there was no denying the incredible strain the baby was placing on her body. She was managing little more than to be awake and to drink blood. What colour she had in her cheeks had leached away; leaving her almost identical in colour to Randall, in whose arms, wrapped up in a blanket, she spent most of her time. She was, however, going to hang on for dear life. She had a tenacity about her that shone through even when her face was contorted in pain from the baby's movements. It was a look that told you she wasn't giving up and if she did, it wasn't going to be without a fight.

Dad could now hear the baby's thoughts and there was nothing causing him concern. Jasper remained constantly close to exert a soothing influence on the baby; but it needed to move and nobody could stop that from happening or the damage that it was causing to Jess. Intact ribs were now a thing of the past.

They had learned so much from Mom being pregnant with me that it was somewhat reassuring to know that what Jess was going through was in no way different to Mom; but for me it made it all the more shocking. Here, right in front of me, was what I had done to my own Mother. It was upsetting and the subject of a long mother-daughter chat back at the cottage one afternoon. I'd cried so much that day that I'd fallen asleep there and had woken up in their bed the next morning.

It was Friday July 11th and by this time tomorrow we'd know Jess's fate. The baby would survive, that was a given; but Jess? Would she be dead? Would she be alive and human or would she be alive and converting into a vampire? Three ways out of this and two of them meant that Jess had just twenty four hours left on the clock.

My fears, temporarily obliterated by sleep, collapsed back in and panic rose up within me. Dad was instantly there, pulling me into a hug and Mom followed with coffee, sitting down behind me and completing the much-needed parental sandwich.

"You know that whatever happens, we will take care of Jess." He said.

With my forehead resting against his neck, I sobbed "Yes, I know that, but…"

"I know; she's your friend. It's not easy to separate facts and feelings at a time like this. Carlisle and I will do whatever we can, but you know that we can make no guarantees." I nodded my understanding. It didn't make this any easier to cope with. Jess was my best friend but I had only known her a few months. How was Dan feeling? My queries were predictably answered. "Dan and Jess are going to spend some time together today."

"They wanted to know if you wanted to go over for lunch, before you and Dan have to head off to Olympia this afternoon." Mom added. The Olympia gig; I could do without that right now. It wasn't a distraction it was an intrusion; it was taking me away from what I really wanted to focus on. "Do you want to go? Esmé's making them a meal; she'll want to send extra if you're going to be there." I nodded. Mom pulled out her cell phone and texted Grandma.

"Are they going over to their house?" I asked Mom.

"Yes." She replied.

"She'll be OK?" I pulled back, enquiring of Dad; he gave me a not-very-convincing smile.

"Randall, Jasper and I will not be far away." He saw my fear. "I know it's dangerous, but we have to give them this time Nessie. They need the chance to talk, to say things to each other that they can't easily say while the rest of us are around."

After I'd calmed down, they left me and I drank my coffee quickly, getting up, straightening the bed and making my way out into the living area. Daniel was there reading a book. He looked at me; I figured I wasn't the prettiest sight right now.

I pulled at my shirt. "Slept in my clothes." I explained.

"It happens." He replied and gave me a little smile which raised a corresponding smile on my face. It was a small brightness in what, I guessed, would be a dark day.

"Oh." said Dad, suddenly. All of us turned to look at him. His face was somewhat confused.

"What's the matter?" asked Mom, flitting over to him and searching his face for clues. "Is it Jess?" She was anxious.

"No; it's the Volturi. They're coming to speak to Carlisle. The decision's just been made. They have a proposition for him." He was close enough to pick up what Alice could see.

"When will they be here?" Mom continued.

"Tomorrow morning, there seems to be an urgency about it."

"They couldn't have picked a worse time."

Dad nodded his agreement to Mom's comment. "Interesting; Sulpicia and Athenodora will be with the party." He continued.

"Who are they?" asked Daniel.

"Sulpicia is Aro's wife, Athenodora is Caius's wife." said Dad.

"They don't usually travel with their wives?" Daniel queried.

Dad shook his head. "No, it's rare indeed for them to leave Volterra at all. The last time they did, it was for Nessie."

I was suddenly concerned. "But they're not coming for me, are they?"

"No, it's definitely Carlisle."

I exhaled; I'd had enough run-ins with the Volturi to keep me going for centuries.

"What are they coming to talk to Carlisle about?" Mom asked.

"They have a proposition for him. Alice can't get a fix on what it is because it entirely depends on Carlisle making the decisions and agreeing to it. But whatever it is we'll know tomorrow morning."

"Couldn't we call and ask them to come back another time; like when we're not _busy_?" I snapped. Did the Volturi have cell phones? "Or call first at least to make sure it's convenient for them to stop by." I was irritated; I wanted Carlisle's top priority tomorrow to be Jess, not concerning himself with the travel whims of the Volturi.

"At least we have Alice's early warning." Dad acknowledged. "Do not worry about it Nessie, he will not be distracted. Jess will have his and my undivided attention."

I flopped down heavily on the sofa next to Daniel. Despite the reassurances, I was still annoyed and thought about what I could do until it was time to head over to the Taylors. I picked bits of lint off my jeans and brooded.

"Why don't you go and spend some time with Jane?" Dad suggested. "She's at a loose end this morning too."

"She's not going to the Taylor's house?"

"Not today, she's giving Dan time with Jess."

I thought about it but decided that I needed some_thing_ to occupy me not some_one;_ I didn't necessarily want to talk, but I did want to do something. The solution was obvious.

"Don't go getting in his way." Dad said as I kissed him, Mom and Daniel and headed out the door.

"I won't!" I called, darting into the forest.

Jake's nose told him I was there before he saw me. He checked that we weren't being watched, before walking over to the end of the inspection pit where I was crouched and kissing me.

"Today got instantly better." He said, resting his forehead against mine.

"Bad day?" I whispered.

"Not bad, just busy; more so because I'm finishing early." Jake had volunteered to drive us all down to Olympia this afternoon.

"I came to see if I could help. You know… fix some cars?"

"Do you think that's wise?" He was right, who wasn't going to think that a seventeen year old girl fixing cars was odd. "Not that I wouldn't love you to, it's relentless right now."

I sighed. "Is there _anything_ I can do? I'm going berserk with worry about Jess." The phone in his pocket rang. He sighed, pulled it out and answered the call, grabbing a notepad on the floor at the side of me. If I couldn't fix the cars then I could at least answer the phone, that wouldn't arouse too many suspicions. Jake took the details and clicked off the phone. "Shall I begin with answering your phone and sorting out the disaster area that is your filing tray?"

Jake pulled a face. "It's kinda wasting your talents."

"I know, but I'm blending in, right? If it means that you can concentrate on the fixing, then I'll do it."

His eyebrows flashed up in a mischievous way. "Ok, welcome to Black's Auto Repair. We only have one rule here and it's this; the new girls have to kiss the boss." He grinned at me.

"Oh? And how do you like your coffee sir?" I played along. Checking no one was watching, our noses and foreheads came together again.

"Black, two kisses." He whispered.

"Two kisses?" I snickered. "You'll get fat." I returned.

"We'll have to work that off later…" He breathed and I stopped his mouth with a kiss, unable to resist him any longer. A car pulled onto the forecourt and we broke reluctantly apart. A low growl escaped me.

"You can find the office OK Miss Masen?"

"Um hmm." I purred and stole another kiss.

"I shall come and inspect your work shortly. Now skedaddle." The antiquated word made me laugh as I got up and flitted across to the office before I was seen.

The clearing of Mount Filemore kept me gainfully employed for a little while and although it did not stop my worries about Jess, it did keep me from walking a rut into the floor of my parents' cottage. The filing cleared, I moved on to cleaning up the rest of the office, weeding the notice boards and even finding some polish and a rag to spruce up Jake's desk with. He stuck his head around the door an hour later and issued a low whistle.

"I'd forgotten there was an actual desk under all that." He said, commenting on my work and pulling me to him for a few minutes break between cars. He looked at his watch. "Think it's probably time you went over to the Taylor's. Do you want a ride?" I shook my head.

"Thanks, but no. I have to pick up my stuff from Grampa's first, I'll walk over."

"I'll see you later. I hope things are OK over there." He exhaled a worried sigh. "I can't help wishing that this was all over, it's like the calm before the storm. So many things have to be put in place regardless of what the outcome is. I just wish Alice could give us a heads up about which one we'll be dealing with."

"Me too."

"Anyhow, you go spend some time with Jess and Dan. I'll be over at two with Zak and Ricky. We need to leave promptly, I don't wanna get snarled up in traffic." I nodded.

We said our temporary goodbyes and I darted through the forest on the outskirts of town to Grampa's house. I picked up my stuff for this evening and walked normally through the streets of Forks to the Taylor's house on Forest Road. My heart was heavy as circumstances threatened to overwhelm me.

This was going to be Jess's last substantial meal, her own version of the last supper and I had been invited to it, it felt all very poignant. Carlisle would be doing the caesarean early tomorrow morning, so Jess would be fasting from human food for twelve hours beforehand. Esmé had asked Jess what she'd like to eat and as Dan opened the door of the house to me, I discovered what had been her answer:

Curry. The aroma of spicy Indian food wafted out of the door, at odds to the uncharacteristically warm July day. She couldn't have chosen salad?

Dan let me in and he closed the door before I kissed him on the cheek. He looked pale. It was sad to see so much worry etched on such a young face, but it was understandable. He showed me through to the family room, where Jess was curled up on the sofa, wrapped in layers of blankets having one of her shivering episodes - Jess was either roasting or freezing, there was no in between for her these days. Randall came in handy for the times she was too hot and she'd borrowed Jake for some of her cold phases. The temperature spikes were another feature of being pregnant with a hybrid and was, Carlisle assured me, 'completely normal.' It was astonishing to me that my family even considered this as 'normal'.

Jess gave me as big a smile as she could muster and a white, cold hand emerged from within the blankets to grab mine in greeting.

"How's Jake?" She asked.

"Good but busy. I've been over there this morning."

"Repairing cars?" Jess was now aware of my mechanical talents.

I shook my head. "Repairing his office."

Jess tutted. "That's a bit girly."

"I know." Perhaps Forks isn't quite ready for a seventeen year old girl mechanic."

"It's how Kylie Minogue started out." said Dan.

My eyebrows furrowed. "What?" I knew who she was; Dan was a big fan of hers.

"Well before she was spinning around in gold lamé hot pants, she started her career in the Aussie soap _Neighbours_ playing a seventeen year old car mechanic."

"God." Jess muttered. "His head really is full of utter crap."

"Yeah, but I'm good in a pub quiz." He retorted.

"Slight lack of pubs around here though, knobhead." Jess returned. It was nice to hear them bickering; this was normal, this was good and as long as the Taylor twins were bickering, everything was right in my world.

Dan was unconcerned by his sister's admonishment. "Shall we have some lunch? Esmé's even sent poppadums!" Dan went to help Jess up, but she batted him away and got me to help her up and over to the table. Jess was huge, now full-term and when she sat to the table her stomach protruded like a shelf.

"I hope Emmett's not wedded to this shirt because there's every chance I'm going to get curry on it." She said.

"Well, Esmé thought of that too. Have a napkin." Dan threw a napkin over to Jess; she spread it over her baby bump and took a poppadum from the proffered basket.

"I will miss curry." She said, digging a triangle of poppadum into the little dish of mango chutney. I didn't want to tell her that she wouldn't. Curry would be the last thing on her mind if she became a vampire.

Indian food was a new experience for me and I hesitantly put some of the mango chutney-covered poppadum into my mouth. It was very sweet and not unpleasant.

"Can you tell the difference between the different types of blood?" Asked Dan.

"Between animal and human? Yes." Why had he not had this conversation with Jane I wondered?

"No, I mean human blood? Does O Positive taste different to B Negative, or whatever?" He stopped abruptly. "Assuming you've had human blood?" Dan sounded almost a little shocked at asking me that.

I nodded. "I have, when I was a baby and couldn't hunt I was given donated blood. You know the stuff they give you in hospitals? And yes, there's a slight difference, much like one brand of ketchup tastes slightly different to another." Hmmm… maybe ketchup wasn't a great analogy to use. I should have gone for cheese.

Dan seemed unconcerned with my choice of descriptor. "But you've never…"

"I've never killed anyone, no." I'd come pretty close though, in this very house.

"And all the rest of them have?"

"Not my Mom or Carlisle."

"Carlisle hasn't in all that time? Wow." Dan exhaled, impressed.

"And your Mum hasn't?" Said Jess, "that gives me hope."

"My Mom has incredible ability to restrain herself. It's not a skill all of us possess and it's not an easy thing to develop." I tried to convey something Jess would have absolutely no concept of until she faced it herself. The craving vampires had for blood wasn't a choice, it was a compulsion. How could I possibly explain to her the sheer effort involved in abstaining, without scaring her?

I was more fortunate than most, I had inherited a degree of my Mom's ability, added to that my nurturing among a community of 'vegetarians'. I brought to mind my own recent experience of nearly losing it with Ricky's blood and the remembrance of Dad's first encounter with Mom's blood that was so very nearly his undoing. "It's a high wire act." I said. "And sometimes we fall."

Poppadums finished, Dan cleared away our side plates and brought out two dishes of curry. One was deep orange and the other was a pale yellow.

He pointed to the deep orange one. "Chicken Tikka Masala and that one's Lamb Passanda." He darted back for the plates and a dish full of rice with brightly coloured grains and what looked like bits of twig in it.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Pilau rice."

"And the… twiggy bits?"

Jess snorted. "Are actual bits of twig, yes." It was good to see her laugh, I was glad my unfamiliarity with Indian cuisine had raised a smile from her. I committed it to memory, to pull out again if I needed it later.

"They're bits of cinnamon stick," said Dan. "You can fish them out. Dig in!"

Jess needed no such prompting; she scooped two huge servings of each onto her plate and covered the rest of the exposed surface with rice. "I'm starving!" She exclaimed, before shovelling in a large forkful of food slumping in ecstasy to display her pleasure with it.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again." Said Dan indistinctly through a mouthful of food. "But it comes to something when the best chef in the area is a vampire. She's done it again, is there nothing Esmé Cullen can't cook?"

I smiled, taking my first taste of Esmé's Indian food, it was fabulous! It didn't take me long to start eating with as much gusto as Dan and Jess.

The significance of the event seemed to recede into the background as tensions melted away over the food. We chatted and ate just as we ever would do, but tomorrow was never very far away and Jess had something to ask me.

"Tomorrow, would you stay with me?" she asked. "Dan's going to. Randall wants to be there but doesn't think he can trust himself around so much blood, so he's going to wait outside. But I'd really like it if you thought you might be up to staying with me too."

"At the head end, obviously," added Dan.

I was enormously touched that she'd want me there in the first place, but I shared Randall's reservations. "Jess I don't know if I could trust myself either."

"I thought you'd say that, so I asked your Dad and he says yes you can, as long as Jake's with you, because he's going to be busy and can't be in two places at once. So that's sorted then." She grinned.

"He thinks I'm up to it?" He was displaying enormous faith in me, I was humbled.

"I guess. Why does Jake need to be there, though?"

"Durr Jess! It's hardly because she's going to faint at the sight of your blood."

Jess looked stunned. "Is he strong enough to hold you back?" I nodded. "Would he be strong enough to hold Randall back?" I shook my head, not in his human form he wouldn't, but Jess and Dan didn't know Jake's secret. "He couldn't hold back a full vampire, but me he can. He could get me away if he needed to."

Jess exhaled through her teeth. "I forget you're a vampire, you look so human compared to the rest of them; it's more like you're one of us. You've not been very vampire-ish while we've been around either. The rest of them zip about, gabble at ninety miles an hour…"

"…or pick you up with one hand and vacuum under you." Dan interjected and Jess laughed.

"Haha! Your face as you were sat on Rose's hand, it was priceless. I wish I'd got a picture." I suspected Emmett had put her up to it; such outright joking wasn't Rose's usual style. "But seriously, Ness," Jess put her fork down and looked at me. "I just want to say, whatever happens tomorrow; that you have a wonderful family and I couldn't have had a more accommodating bunch of people looking after me for the last three weeks. I've always thought that if I ever met vampires that it would be dangerous, scary and not very friendly. But your lot turn out to be the nicest bunch of vampires you could ever hope to meet."

"Thank you."

"Your Mum's done so much for me, shared every detail she could remember about being pregnant with you. When Randall went… well, had a bit of a wobble, she was right there for me every hour of the day and night; just being there while I cried my heart out, even though she was frantic with worry about you. She's such a lovely person and so beautiful. Well they're all beautiful, which means I won't be becoming a vampire, I'm not pretty enough."

"Yeah, your Dad's a right bag of spanners isn't he?" Dan chuckled.

I laughed "A what?"

"A bag of spanners. He's a bit of an ugly bloke."

"You think my Dad's ugly?"

"No!" Dan rolled his eyes. "Honestly, subtlety is lost on you sometimes Ness. I'm joking. I'm just surprised that he made it out of Forks High School without half of twelfth grade hanging off him. Is your Mum a secret Karate champion or something? How did she fight them all off?"

"You guys react to vampires differently. Most people are scared of us for reasons they can't explain. I don't think there was ever a queue to date my Dad."

Jess blew a raspberry "Wanna bet? I bet they were thinking it even if they weren't saying it out loud – that must have caused a few awkward moments for him. I've sometimes been thinking rather intimate things about Randall and then realised your Dad's sat reading the paper across from me."

"He can shut you out if he wants to. Unlike me – shutting me out is not an option. _Is it Dad_?" I said, in a louder voice.

"No such luck." Came his reply.

Jess laughed and Dan twisted his head around looking for my Dad. "Where the fuck is he?"

"He's outside the window." I said.

"How do you know?" Dan was incredulous. I tapped my nose. "It's a secret?" He added a little confused.

"No you twonk, she can smell him! Bloody hell Dan, don't you know these things yet? What do you and Jane talk about all day, the world commodities market?"

"No, we're up to the fourteenth century."

"_History_?" Jess was appalled. "Girl of your dreams and you want to talk _history_? God, there's no hope for you!"

"She's… Seen a lot of it, besides; it's interesting." Dan looked uncomfortable.

"I'm sure it is. It's just that…" Jess tailed off. "Nevermind." There was suddenly a very awkward silence between the two of them.

Very quietly under his breath, Dan swore. He looked at me. "Is your Dad still there?"

"Do you want to talk privately to Jess? I can go."

"No, I don't mind you being here, I just don't want… It's awkward."

"Just ask him to put some distance between you or close his mind. He won't intrude. But you do realise that he can't shut me out? If you don't want him to hear what you want to say, then don't tell me."

"It's not really private, it's just embarrassing." He pursed his lips. "Oh what the hell! Jess; you and Randall? How did you get over the cold skin thing to, you know, do it with him?" Dan looked bashful.

Jess stared at her brother open-mouthed, then to me, then back to Dan again. "You are not seriously asking me that are you?"

"Yes."

"Dan, if you can't work this one out, then I'm going to have to write _Sex with Vampires for Dummies_ on your behalf."

"Well clearly I'm missing a trick!" Dan was a little affronted now.

"Oh for goodness sake, it's dead easy. Get Jane to have a really hot bath and you'll get about forty five minutes out of her. Once you've got her warm, your body heat will keep the worst of it at bay."

"I'm sorry." I chuckled. "That sounds so funny!"

"I know! It sounds like cooking instructions doesn't it? '_For best results remove wrapper and reheat to ninety degrees. This vampire comes with a lifetime guarantee and is bullet-proof, fire-proof, freezer, microwave and dishwasher safe'_." Jess and I giggled. I looked over to Dan, he was laughing too. It was the perfect end to a lovely lunch.

I could only pray there'd be many more.

Leaving Jess in the safe hands of Randall, Jasper and my Dad; Dan and I climbed into Jake's truck and started our three hour drive down to Olympia. Zak was sat next to Jake so I sat in the back of the cab with Ricky and Dan, having first said hello to Karl in the front next to Zak. He was standing in for Jess at this gig. Much as I liked him, that's all I hoped he was doing. While Dan, Ricky, Karl and I sat pretty much in silence, Zak rattled on endlessly to Jake, which both annoyed me and cheered me. Annoyed me because I wanted to be the one rattling on endlessly to Jake and it cheered me because at least I didn't have to cope with the personification of cheerfulness that was Zak today. He seemed almost hyper, as if he'd just been let out of school all over again. Jake had endless patience, whereas if Zak kept this up all the way to Olympia, I might be inclined to bite his head off. My teeth snapped together as if in anticipation.

I let my head drift off to where it wanted to go; it wanted to go to Jess and I searched back through my memories for all the happy times we'd spent in the short time I'd known her. Dan's hand found mine and together we shared the unspoken bond of worry.

Traffic was on our side and we arrived at the smart venue ahead of schedule. We grabbed our gear from the back of Jake's truck and trooped in with it. Dan was absolutely fuming and I mouthed 'what's the matter?' to him. He came over.

"Nearly three hours solid and he still hasn't shut up. Not asked once about Jess."

"He's happy."

"He shouldn't be allowed to be happy."

"Dan…" I trailed off, he knew this was a burden that we could not share with anyone to lighten the load.

"Jess is still 'ill' whether it's the reality or the cover story. She could be dead for all he cares and what's he talking about? The price of coal."

My brow furrowed, I'd tuned in now and again to what Zak was saying and coal hadn't been mentioned. "Coal?"

Dan rolled his eyes. "I keep forgetting." He sighed, "No wonder Emmett keeps asking for subtitles."

"Shhh!" Dan's volume was increasing.

"Sorry. It a phrase that means he's talking about nothing of consequence, trivialities. Anyway, it's pissing me off."

"Try and block it out." I suggested. "Think of something else."

Dan looked at me with a weary expression. "Have _you_ tried thinking about something else lately? It's surprisingly hard to do."

I ran my hand down his arm. "I know." I said sadly. I did – all too well.

Zak came over then. "So, are we ready for tonight? Up to make our mark on Olympia? Hey what's up with you two, did somebody die?"

I should have intervened, but Dan's fist connected with Zak's face with such speed, that to have stopped it would have begged the question of how I had. But it was suddenly worse. I smelt it before I saw it, as blood started to stream from Zak's nose onto the floor and I was far too close for comfort. I placed my hand over my nose and mouth, in a stupidly vain attempt at a human covering up, but it was useless! As much as my head knew that I had to move away, my deepest, most basic desires kept me rooted to the spot and desperate to step forward. Just one step, that's all it would need and the wonderful, exquisite blood would be mine!

Zak cupped his hand under his nose and as he backed away, swearing and in shock at being hit in the first place, he was oblivious to my wide-eyed focus on the pooling blood in his hand. My mouth was watering and I was losing it steadily by degrees. Dan suddenly realised that he had caused more problems than Zak's busted nose.

"Oh shit!" He was ashen faced. "I'm sorry!"

"Get away from me!" I hissed through gritted teeth. Just because he wasn't the one bleeding didn't mean I wouldn't go for him any second now. His blood may be within his body, but his jugular pulse now had my attention. To his credit Dan did what he could; he pushed Zak away from me.

"I'm sorry mate, let's get you cleaned up." He said, grabbing Zak's arm and towing him away just as Ricky and Jake brought in the last of the equipment. Jake saw my difficulty immediately and guided me firmly outside into the fresh air. I paced up and down for a while trying to regain my equanimity.

"How bad was it?" Jake asked.

"I could barely hold on." I admitted. It had been a close one. How on earth was I going to cope tomorrow with the potential of who knows how much of Jess's blood?

"Dan should know better now."

"He's still learning. He apologised."

"He needs to learn quicker." Jake stood close, but not close enough to arouse suspicion that he was anything other than a friend.

"How am I going to cope tomorrow?"

"Don't breathe and I'll keep hold of you."

"You'll need to keep a tight hold on me." My shoulders sagged. Tomorrow was going to be even more unbearable if I couldn't cope with even a few tablespoonfuls of human blood. "What if I'm the one that kills Jess?" I added, in a barely audible voice.

"You won't. I won't let you hurt her, even if I have to reveal myself. I promise you that."

"Thank you." Quite what Jess would think of a gigantic wolf materialising beside her was something we'd have to deal with if it happened.

Dan burst through the door.

"I am _so _sorry." He said. Looking first at me and then at Jake. "I completely forgot."

"Don't forget in future. There are bigger things at stake than injured feelings." Jake said tersely.

"Are you ok Ness?"

I nodded. "How's Zak?"

"He'll live, sadly." Dan kicked a stone across the street. "He says he has an announcement to make.

"Now?" I asked.

"Well, when his nose has stopped bleeding."

"I'm not going back in there until that happens. Has he got a fresh shirt?"

"I don't know. I'll lend him mine if he hasn't. God I could do without tonight!" The sun was slowly sinking on another summer's day and its rays were bathing even this ugly side street with a beautiful golden glow. "We should have cancelled. I can barely think straight. Are you likely to forget the words?"

I shook my head. "No, I have perfect recall. As long as no one bleeds I'll be fine."

Not long before we were due to go on stage, Zak finally assembled us all to make his announcement. I had to admit, as announcements went, I hadn't seen this one coming. Zak said that he wanted to be honest with us about how things were and then went on the say that he'd come to the realisation that he was gay. Ricky looked shocked, Karl equally so. My eyebrows were raised, but Dan just looked bored, he wasn't the least bit phased.

"I thought it might at least be something dramatic," Dan said later, "like he was quitting the band or something. Being gay's hardly earth-shattering news these days."

"No, not like dating a twelve hundred year old fourteen year old." I smirked at him.

"Are you going to get over that? You know I could accuse you of being prejudiced." He grinned.

"Oh I'm fine with it. But I don't think you can ever come out of the closet with _your _secret."

He shook his head. "No." His eyes glazed over momentarily as he thought about something before glancing at his watch. "Come on; let's do this one for Jess." He took my hand and the pair of us made our way to the others, waiting in the wings.

It had gone 4am and I still couldn't sleep, my head would not shut down however much I tried. I could hear Grampa gently snoring next door and I longed to be able to block out the thoughts and worries that filled my head. We'd made a good enough job of the gig, enough to garner some good comments from people, although from my perspective I'd pretty much phoned that one in. I may have been there in person but my heart had very much been back in Forks worrying over tomorrow; well, today now. This was it; this was the day that would see the birth of a new hybrid and one of three outcomes for Jess: Death or transformation. I dare not allow myself to hope for the third.

On my bedside table my phone beeped. I picked it up and read the text message. It was Mom, telling me to come over if I couldn't sleep. At least if I was over there I could have someone to talk to instead of lying here in my own personal mental hell. I pushed back the quilt and went to get dressed.

As I emerged out of the forest into the cool dawn, Mom met me on the porch and I stood there for the longest time wrapped safely in her arms. The house was quiet and the lighting subdued. Jess was asleep, the others had retired to their rooms and Dad was up with Carlisle in his office, making sure that every bit of every plan for every eventuality was in place for whatever hand today would deal us. It didn't take long for Mom's familiar scent to relax me and soon after, she scooped me up and took me into the house where, even though I was taller than her, I curled up on her lap and finally got my head to shut down.

"Nessie?" Mom shook me gently.

"Mmm?" I felt like I'd shut my eyes only seconds ago.

"It's time."

I needed no further prompting, I was instantly awake. I looked around. When I'd closed my eyes it had just been Mom and me. But now, stood around us; Rose, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, Esmé, Carlisle, Daniel, Dad, Jane, Dan, Grampa, Jake and Randall were all assembled, for a day that would change the life of the exhausted-looking blonde haired girl sat next to Mom on the sofa and into whose anxious blue eyes I now looked.

"They're ready for me." She said.

I reached forward and took her ice-cold hand.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter ****Twenty Nine: Arrivals and Departures**

At the top of the house, Carlisle's office had been prepared for surgery and it was into this room that we all now filed. Randall was carrying Jess and he placed her gently onto the gurney, helping her to angle herself onto her side as Carlisle was going to perform the caesarean by epidural. He wheeled over a tray of instruments and sat down, lifting Jess's t-shirt to expose her back. The anaesthetic would need half an hour to take effect, so there was no immediate need for those who were not staying to depart.

It was just before eight o'clock on what outside was a beautiful sunny Saturday morning. The residents of Forks would be enjoying a wonderful summer's day, but the happiness and optimism of the day was at clashing odds with the unspoken worry circulating in this room. Although no one was verbally admitting it, it was palpably there. Jess had successfully made it this far, but the next hour was critical. There were too many variables to be certain of the outcome.

The sun however was doing its best to cheer proceedings, streaming through the windows and warming the room. On the stereo, the second movement from _Eine kleine Nachtmusik_ was playing; it was one of my favourite pieces and one of Carlisle's too. Around the top end of the gurney were chairs and Dan, Jake and I sat down on them. The rest of my family stood around the room. Jane seated herself on Dan's lap and everyone looked on with interest as Carlisle, assisted by Dad, started work to get the epidural into Jess's spine. Randall was stood by Jess's head, their left hands entwined while he stroked her hair with his right hand.

"Somebody tell a joke." She said.

"What do you…" started Dan

"Not _you_," she cut him off. "Your jokes are crap."

Emmett sniggered.

"Oh thanks." Dan said, smarting a bit.

"You're welcome. I don't really fancy my last moments being the memory of one of your lame attempts at humour."

"He's funny, he makes me laugh." Said Jane.

"I've never found him _ha ha_ funny, just bloody weird." Jess turned her head to look at her brother, giving him an impish grin.

"Jane appreciates my humour even if you don't. So, will this thing come out like the monster in Alien?"

Jess scoffed. "Thing? My baby is not a monster. It'll come out looking like any other baby."

"No, I mean will it burst out of your stomach. That would be exciting."

"No there's not going to be any of that; well, hopefully not. Carlisle?"

He chuckled. "The aim is that we deliver the baby in a calm and controlled way." Carlisle swabbed Jess's back with a generous wash of iodine.

Dan huffed. "That's boring. I favour the Alien delivery method. Can you get it to do that?"

Emmett laughed again.

"We're not getting it to do anything! It's my body and I'm having a standard sunroof delivery!" That resulted in a laugh from everybody and helped the tension to disperse a little.

But Dan was not giving up. "It still would be a sunroof delivery, just one with a little more… pizzazz. There's nothing like making an entrance."

"I don't want it to make an _entrance_; I just want it to come out, without turning me into a vampire in the process."

"Ok Jess, here we go." Said Carlisle. Having given Jess a local anaesthetic to numb the area, he inserted the needle into her spine.

"Can you feel that?" said Dan.

Jess shook her head.

"So you don't want to be a vampire, then?" He asked.

"Well, yes; but not today."

"Why not today?"

Jess didn't reply immediately, but Dad looked at her and chuckled.

"Yes, I'd agree with that." He said. "Getting stuck the wrong side of eighteen does have its disadvantages."

"Oh? Eternal youth not all it's cracked up to be, Edward?" Jasper laughed.

"It's not the eternal youth I'm complaining about, it's..."

"…The eternal school!" Jumped in Jess. "I don't want to be forced to go to school for all eternity, I want to have the piece of paper that says I don't need to go back! So no, Dan; I don't want to be a vampire today thank you very much. You hear that baby-boo?" Jess pointed at her stomach. "No biting Mummy on the way out!"

"It's in, we'll just let that take effect now." Carlisle said.

Esmé came over to wrap her arms around him.

"Actually, you've got a point there," said Dan. "I was going to say I wouldn't mind being turned into a vampire anytime, but now you mention it, getting a graduation certificate first would come in handy."

"Oh, I have a graduation certificate… or two." said Dad.

"Or, more accurately, fourteen," laughed Emmett. "Always the youngest of us, hey bro? Always the one who can't _quite_ escape having to go to school."

My uncles and aunts and even Mom were laughing.

"Even your own daughter will be older than you shortly."

"Yes, thank you for drawing attention to that, Em."

"He's going to be my little brother next time." I added.

Mom pulled a face "I'm not sure I could cope with that. If we do the school thing again I want to be able to hold his hand, at least."

"Oh no Bella, I can see the wisdom in sticking him a couple of grades below the rest of us." Emmett was having fun with this. "He can keep Jane company."

"I've never been to school; it would be so much fun!"

Dan blew a raspberry. "It's not _High School Musical_ or _Glee_ Jane, trust me; it's boring as shit most of the time. And while we're on the subject of boring as shit, can I just ask why the _hell_ didn't one of you lot eat Mr Newton? Bella, you were in his class, couldn't you have done something to save us from his… turgidity?"

Jake laughed "You made that word up."

"No I didn't and there are plenty of worse things to describe him."

"I wasn't a vampire then." Mom replied. "Besides, he's not that bad. He's quite nice once you get to know him."

Jake sniggered. "Did you pick the wrong one Bella?"

"No." she grinned. "Just that Mike was a friend."

"Charlie, can't you arrest him for something?" Dan said.

"Like what?"

"Fashion crimes!" Alice dissolved into helpless laughter, taking the rest of us with her.

As time progressed, one by one the other members of my family wished Jess well and went to wait downstairs, until it was just Dan, Jake, Randall and myself. Jasper waited by the door as Randall spent a few last moments with Jess. I stopped my ears giving the couple what privacy I could, instead I focused on Jake. I looked at him and he leant over to me.

"All so very different to your arrival." He whispered. "This is way more civilised."

I smiled. "I didn't do it on purpose."

"I know. What do you think? Boy or a girl?" He whispered.

I shrugged. The sex of the baby was anyone's guess. The baby had developed inside a vampire-skin membrane, that no scanning equipment could penetrate and until they cut through that, Carlisle and Dad wouldn't know what they were dealing with. There was no knife that could cut vampire skin; it was going to have to be done by the one thing that could: Vampire teeth. I leaned very close to Jake and almost mouthed my reply. "I really hope it's a girl." Jake nodded that that was what he hoped too.

Randall reluctantly left, taking one final look at Jess as Jasper guided him out of the room and closed the door behind them. Dad repositioned Jess so that she was on her back and placed a screen up so that none of us at this end of the gurney could see what was going on. To be honest I was glad of it, I didn't want to know. I would most likely be in enough distress if I caught the scent of Jess's blood.

"I'm making the incision now." Said Carlisle and there was almost an audible intake of breath from all four of us. Jess reached for Dan's hand and he dragged his chair closer to her, the pair of them putting their heads together. Jake wrapped his arms around me; ordinarily it would be a sign of affection, but this time it was to restrain me. Jess angled her head up to look at me.

"Thanks for staying." She said. "Are you ok?" I nodded, not wishing to break my breath-holding with an audible response right now. Jess's blood was not something I wanted to smell.

I saw Carlisle's head disappear and then Dan's alarmed looks as a strange sound, like metal being wrenched apart, filled the room.

"What's that?" He asked.

"It's the membrane that covers the baby." Jess explained. "It's vampire skin."

"What's he using to cut it, a can opener?"

"No, his teeth." replied Jess.

"_What?_!" Dan shot up and looked over the screen then immediately sat back down, turning to look at Jake for explanation. "You could have warned me!"

"Hey, this is nothing; you should have been here for Nessie's birth." said Jake. "This is _ultra_ civilised in comparison."

There was a little chuckle from Dad. "Baby's out Jess."

"What a_lready_? Am I OK?"

"Do you feel OK?" Dad asked her, a huge grin on his face.

"Yes."

"Then you're ok!"

A bubble of shocked laughter escaped Jess's lips. "I'm ok! _Randall I'm ok!_" she shouted.

"Is it… Is it alright? It's not crying?" Dan scooped his sister up into his arms, suddenly fearing the worst. Carlisle stood up with a blanket-wrapped bundle in his arms.

"Baby's fine." Carlisle assured him, moving around the screen to Jess and bending down beside her. "Jess, I'd like to introduce you to your son."

Nestling in the blanket was the most beautiful little baby boy, with eyes the same shade and intensity blue as his mother's.

"Hello!" Jess almost laughed, gasping for breath. "Look at you! Oh you're so _beautiful_!" She reached over to touch him, but Carlisle pulled him slightly away. "Oh yes, I forgot." She said sadly.

"She can't touch him?" Dan sounded appalled.

Carlisle shook his head. "No. Not until we've established that he can control himself and certainly not until he's had something to drink. We have discussed this with Jess; she knew how it would be. In time it will come, it did with Nessie."

"Oh he's looking at me!" Jess marvelled. The little boy was gazing at her with rapt attention.

"He's taking it all in." commented Dad; he was still working on Jess. "He knows who you are Jess. He's made that connection between you and your voice already." I understood what he meant, the bond I had with my own mother had been started in my first few moments when I had put the sound of her together with the sight of her.

Carlisle held him as close to Jess as was safe. With Jake keeping a firm grip on me and me still choosing not to breathe, I leaned forward and gazed down at the little boy. What hair he had was fine and blond and his skin was as pink and as perfect as any other newborn baby boys' would be. Jess was right, he was utterly beautiful!

"What's he thinking about, Edward?" Jess asked, unable to take her eyes off him.

"I won't lie to you Jess, his overriding thoughts are of thirst. We need to get him something to drink."

"Ok." There was a little sadness in her voice.

"Are you going to tell people his name?" added Dad.

Jess laughed. "Oh yes, I almost forgot. It's Ben. Benjamin William Randall."

"Hello Ben. Pleased to meet you and welcome to the family. I'm your uncle Dan."

"Yeah, sorry about that." Jess said to Ben, grinning at him. "You can't choose your family."

Dan sniggered. Jess managed to turn her face to her brother. "He's gorgeous isn't he?" She angled her head up to me. "What do you think Ness? Isn't he gorgeous?" The raspy gasp of her voice betrayed how close she was to tears. I smiled at her and nodded still not daring to breathe. I reached for her hand; she grabbed it and held it while she turned once more to gaze adoringly at Ben.

"Jess, we're going to have to do the surgery I discussed. It's a bit of a mess in there." Carlisle said,

"Ok. I'll be fine, yes?"

Carlisle smiled warmly at her. "Yes, you'll be fine now. Do you want Randall to have him while I finish up? He can give him something to drink." Jess nodded. Carlisle walked to the door with Ben and opened it enough for Jess and Randall to see each other. Randall looked completely dumbstruck as Carlisle handed his son to him. Randall took him with the hesitancy of a new father as if he had been given a priceless jewel to hold. Jasper was with him and Rose was hovering, ready with all her baby expertise should Randall need the _slightest_ bit of help.

Jess had not escaped completely unscathed from her pregnancy, Carlisle was going to have to perform a complete hysterectomy, which; as Jake, Dan and I got up to leave the room, he and Dad were getting on with.

As we were walking out, Dan made the unwise error of looking over at what they were doing and slumped to the floor in front of me in a faint.

"Oh!" I exclaimed. I bent down to pick him up, taking in a breath as I did so and getting a full-on hit of the scent of Jess's blood in the room. Unguarded and already moving downwards towards Dan's unconscious body on the floor, I lost my control in a split second and before Jake had time to react to my Dad's shout of '_Jake_!, my teeth sank deeply into Dan's shoulder.

It brought Dan round

"_Aargh_!" He cried in alarm as Jake pulled me off him, wrapping his arms around me in a vice-like grip but not before I'd managed to get nearly a pint of Dan's blood.

"_What? What_?" Shouted Jess, unable to see what had happened. "Dan are you OK? What's happened?"

"Ness bit me! I'm bleeding to death and I'm in a house full of vampires!" Dan almost screamed.

"Oh calm down you big girl!" Jess snapped "They're not going to hurt you."

"Ness just _did_! And it _hurt_! Ow!"

I struggled and snarled in Jake's arms, fighting to free myself and get back to what I wanted above _anything _right now – Dan's blood.

Dad appeared in front of me, gripping my shoulders and blocking my view of Dan. "Bella?" He called to bring reinforcements. "Nessie, focus on me." I snarled at him for preventing me from having what was mine. "_Nessie_!"

Mom appeared. "Come on Ness, let's get you outside. Jake have you got her?"

"Yeah."

I didn't let up fighting to get back to Dan as Jake, accompanied by Mom, carried me out of the room, down the stairs and outside. Emmett followed us out, barring my way back inside, in case I should break free and make a run for it. Jake carried me a distance into the forest until my furious snarls had become sobs and bloodlust had given way to deep remorse. He put me down, spun me around and gathered me back into his arms again holding me equally as tightly. Mom stroked my hair.

They let me cry uninterrupted, there really weren't any words I wanted to hear to mollify me. I knew what I'd done and somehow 'it was an accident' really wasn't going to cut it. As much as I tried to blend in with Dan and Jess there was always going to be a part of me that wouldn't fit in and that bit had made itself known in the most hideous of ways.

"Would you like to go and hunt?" Mom said gently a while later, when still pressed up against Jake my sobs had quietened to the occasional loud sniff. I nodded. "Just us two, or with Jake?"

I looked up at Jake "Do you mind if it's just Mom and I?"

"No, not at all." He said gently. "Would you like me to talk to Dan?"

I nodded. "Please. Will you tell him I'm sorry?"

Jake nodded "Of course. You go and hunt, I'll see you later." He kissed my forehead and let me go. Mom took my hand and together we sprinted off into the forest.

By the time we returned; two shiny, black, Rolls Royce cars were parked outside the house. Our visitors from the Volturi had arrived. It was going on for eleven o'clock and the day was now incredibly warm. Mom and I went into the house and through to the living room where everyone, saving Jess, Dan, Jake and Grampa were now assembled. Randall was sat on the sofa between Rose and Esmé, the latter having claimed current cuddling rights on Ben. Alice and Jasper stood behind them. At the far end of the room, sat directly opposite to where Mom and I were standing, sat two immaculately dressed women. They bore the red eyes of traditional vampires and I knew that despite their apparent young ages – they looked to be in their early twenties - they were in fact thousands of years old.

The woman in the left hand chair had hair of deepest chestnut brown draped in carefully sculpted waves over her right shoulder. The woman on the right had her light brown hair scooped up into an elegant chignon. In contrast to other members of the Volturi that I had seen, these women did not dress in the outdated way of cloaks and tunics; both were dressed in on-trend Italian couture. They came across as wealthy businesswomen and by the looks of it; they were the ones directing proceedings today; not Aro, Caius and Marcus who were stood behind them.

As we entered the room, Dad met us.

"Sulpicia, Athenodora;" He said, standing between us. "Please may I introduce my wife Bella and our daughter Renesmee to you?"

The woman in the left hand chair rose and walked towards us, holding out her hand to shake my Mom's hand.

"I'm Sulpicia; it's lovely to meet you Mrs Cullen."

"And you too."

Sulpicia turned to me. "Renesmee." She held out her hand to me and I took it. Her handshake was confident and assured. As she took her hand away from mine she ran her thumb over her fingers and her eyes registered surprise. "Amazing!" She said quietly. "Your skin is so human to the touch." She looked at me directly. "It has been some time since I last saw you. We were not introduced on that occasion, but I remember you being much smaller than you are today. To see you now at close quarters and fully grown, I must admit that you are astonishing to behold and so beautiful!" She spoke quietly, as if I had literally taken her breath away. "We have had the pleasure of meeting little Benjamin this morning and now it is so encouraging to see you, a fully-grown hybrid, displaying such promise and expectation for the future." Sulpicia turned her eyes to my parents. "Whatever the future is for our kind and I admit Renesmee represents a possibility for us; we must not forget first and foremost that this is your daughter. You must be so very proud of her."

"We are." My dad replied and that made my own breath catch. My head replayed today's incident that to my mind was a very good reason not to be proud of me and Dad pulled me into him.

"The entire family is very proud of her." Said Jasper and my head dropped as I fought back tears.

"That is as it should be.

"Renesmee." Sulpicia continued. "We were very saddened to hear of the incident in San Francisco. One of the reasons that Athenodora and I came today, was for my husband to do something that we feel is important, as we consider the future direction of the Volturi.

"Before you arrived we were outlining to the other members of your family that the time has come for us to look again at the way we relate to our community. For too long the Volturi have simply been purveyors of fear, dispensing judgement where boundaries were crossed, but never seeking to address the reason _why_ those boundaries were being crossed in the first place. We do not seek integration with humans as we do not feel the time is right to announce our existence to the world at large. But, we can no longer go on punishing or shunning those who, like your family, have managed to, or wish to, successfully integrate themselves into the human world.

"As we have said earlier to Carlisle, we come here wanting to find out about this alternative lifestyle so that we can give other vampires, who are finding the traditional ways burdensome, the proper information and support if they wish to consider this alternative. We can no longer pretend that it is merely Carlisle's flight of fancy when it has created such a deeply bonded and peaceful family group. We can see that there are definite advantages to this way of living, which may appeal to a great number of our kind.

"Jane has shared how she has found acceptance and a home here and how she is working her way through that transition. It also cheers me to hear that she has at last found a mate, although I am concerned to hear that he is human… of all things."

"With the exception of Jasper and Alice; Rose, Edward and I all have husbands or wives who we first met when they were human. We have not found that an impediment to a successful match."

"I sincerely wish you all the best Jane," said Sulpicia. I'm assuming he's one of the humans I can smell here?"

"If it is a problem for you, we are happy to continue in the fresh air." said Carlisle.

"That will not be necessary." Sulpicia reassured him, "we have recently fed."

Sulpicia spoke with the same confidence and assurance as in her handshake. Her voice was measured, clear and refined, as if she'd had thousands of years of leadership experience. "Before we go on to discuss this further, there is something my husband needs to do." She turned back to him. "Aro?"

Aro came towards me. He looked exactly the same as before, but this was a man who was much changed since our last encounter. Gone was the arrogance, replaced now with contrition. He stood in front of me, Sulpicia between us, while Dad and Mom took a step back.

"Aro, you have something to say to Renesmee and perhaps also, to Mr and Mrs Cullen?"

Aro looked at me with a steady gaze, eyes showing the apology he was about to deliver verbally. "Renesmee; I offer my heartfelt and most sincere apologies to you and to your parents, for what I ordered Pavel to do to you. I have come to see the error of my ways and I ask, most humbly and sincerely, for your forgiveness." He dropped his eyes and mine went to Dad for reassurance and clarification that this was for real. Was this just words or the real deal? Was Aro honestly asking for my forgiveness? Mom looked to him too and as Aro's head still remained bowed, a tiny nod came from Dad. This was up to me now. Should I accept Aro's apology and give him the forgiveness he was asking for?

I looked around the room, seeking reassurance in the faces of each member of my family and those whom I was beginning to consider as part of this family; Jane, Daniel, Randall and now Ben. But above all it was Carlisle's face I sought, looking for his approval as the head of our family, that accepting Aro's apology was the right thing to do. Although he couldn't read my thoughts, he seemed to know was I was seeking and responded with a small dip of his head.

"I accept your apology and I forgive you." I said.

Aro exhaled audibly. "Thank you." He breathed. He looked to my Dad.

"Your apology is accepted." Dad replied.

"Thank you. I have much to learn from the Cullen family." Aro nodded his head and retreated.

"Thank you." Said Sulpicia. "Athenodora? Please continue."

Sulpicia returned to her seat and Athenodora stood up. She was Caius's wife and like Sulpicia, exuded a confidence about her that was at once reassuring. Where Aro, Marcus and Caius had once presented themselves as fearful, these two women presented themselves as capable. Athenadora addressed the assembled group.

"Sulpicia has already spoken in part of what we are seeking to do. We are not taking over the Volturi, rather we are working in partnership with Marcus and Caius as we seek, what in management terms would be regarded as a refocusing of the business. For the moment, Aro is going to take a back seat while he takes time out. Think of it as a long overdue sabbatical.

"It's been clear for some time that we cannot continue on our present course and the recent unpleasantness has provided us with this opportunity, that Sulpicia, Caius, Marcus and I do not want to squander. While many of our kind have no difficulty in embracing the traditional vampire lifestyle, there are those for whom it is not a life that sits easily with them. We want to be able to support them as they make adjustments, rather than having them risk exposing us because of desperation. To that end we can no longer ignore those lifestyles that we have previously spoken out against, so we come wanting to learn from you and hopefully work in partnership with you in helping others of our kind in difficult situations.

"But also, there is the unique situation that has arisen in this family which we also cannot ignore, for the very real opportunity that is offered to vampire-kind in the form of children like Renesmee and Benjamin. Admittedly, it only works for the benefit of male vampires, but… there are options."

A low growl from Dad revealed that he was not happy with something. "Do not get carried away Athenodora, being pregnant with a hybrid baby is an incredibly risky business for a human woman and there is no guarantee that they will survive. As for surrogacy, I do not like where that idea of yours is heading." Athenodora nodded at Dad.

"That is a fair point and perhaps betrays my own deep desire." Athenodora looked down at Ben nestled in Esmé's arms. The little boy suddenly gave an enormous yawn, exposing a mouthful of tiny white teeth. The vampire of untold thousands of years knelt down beside the little boy of just a few hours old, completely and utterly under this spell. "Caius and I would have loved a child of our own. We can have anything on this planet that we desire, apart from this one thing."

"I appreciate your plight." Said Dad, but please; I ask you most sincerely and I know that every person here who witnessed what Bella and Jess both went through, will agree; please do not view this lightly. It should never be treated as an 'option' in the way that humans view options for their own infertility."

"But it can be done." Said Athenodora, you have proved that now, twice.

"Yes it can be done. But at a cost." Dad warned.

"His mother is still alive and human, there is no cost."

"But she can never have any more children." said Randall.

"Oh, a minor detail." Athenodora batted Randall's comment away, which did not go down well with the members of my family.

Rose took exception. "It is _not_ a minor detail!"

Jasper put his hand on his sister's shoulder. "We do not view human life as anything less than ours." He said. "Jess is as much part of this family now as any of us and we would strongly oppose any move that devalues human life."

"Fair enough." said Athenodora, seeing that she was up against those who did not share her wishes.

"Speaking of humans," said Esmé, "please excuse me; I have lunch to make for our human guests. Alice I believe it's your turn?" Alice flitted round to Esmé and took Ben from her. Randall smirked and rolled his eyes.

"Get used to it." Said Dad, chuckling, "We team-parent in this house. If you get a look in three times a week, you're doing well."

"But on the upside you're never stuck for a babysitter." Said Alice; touching the end of Ben's nose with her finger. "Oh you're such a _cutie_!" It suddenly struck me, that as Jasper was Randall's creator, and if we were following convention, of Carlisle, who created my Dad being _my_ grandfather, then Jasper and Alice were Ben's grandparents.

"Edward? How's Jess doing?" Asked Grandma.

"She's not awake yet. But make triple for Jake, he's hungry."

"Man, that guy's always hungry." Said Daniel. "Where does he put it all?"

"It's a little known fact that he's actually part cow." Said Emmett, in all seriousness, which caused an outbreak of sniggering from everyone else and a reproving growl from me. "Oops, pissed off niece time." He grinned.

"I'm sorry." Said Carlisle to our Volturi guests, "It's been a tense couple of weeks; we're all feeling the need for a little lightness and frivolity."

"We appreciate that." Said Caius. I assume this Jake is the same Jake that we met the last time we were here?"

"Yes, he is bonded to our daughter." Said Mom.

"A vampire has bonded to a wolf?" Questioned Caius.

"He's not a wolf." I said. "He can just turn into a wolf."

"But surely, that is not a bonding that can last? He is not immortal?"

"He does not age if he stays around vampires." Clarified Dad, "We have not discovered how that mechanism works yet, but no; he is not immortal in the way we are."

"Hmm… Interesting."

"Nessie, do you want to help me make lunch?" Asked Grandma. I nodded yes and the pair of us disappeared off into the kitchen and left the rest of them pondering the new departure for the Volturi. I wondered what would happen in future if I got drunk and ended up on You Tube again? Would the new caring face of the Volturi turn up with a fistful of pamphlets offering me alcohol counselling, instead of giving me a roasting?

Dad was suddenly in the doorway. "Oh no, I'd be the one doing the roasting." He said with a twinkle in his eye and flitted back into the living room.

"What on earth was Edward on about?" Asked Grandma.

"Oh nothing..." I chuckled and set to, buttering my way through an entire loaf of bread. My good humour vanished when I thought of seeing Dan again.

Jess was still asleep when we brought the plates of sandwiches into the room and Dan was sat on the bed next to her, notepad in hand. Jake and Grandpa were sat on the big black leather sofa.

"They're still downstairs." whispered Grandma, "They could be some time, but you don't need to stay up here Charlie if you want to go, they won't hurt you."

"I'm fine thank you Esmé. To be honest, I wanted to make sure things were ok with Nessie."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Dan climb off the bed and walk towards me. Jake got up and took the plate of sandwiches from me. I looked at Dan.

"I'm so sorry." I said, feeling the prickle of tears in my eyes. "Please forgive me."

Dan sucked air through his teeth, narrowing his eyes as he considered his response. "It hurt, a_ lot_."

"It doesn't hurt _that_ much." Said Jake.

Dan looked at him. "Has she bitten you as well?"

"She bites me all the time." Dan screwed up his face in appalled confusion. "Nevermind." Said Jake, suddenly aware he'd said slightly more than he should.

"Anyway." Dan said, turning back to me. "You hurt me."

"I'm sorry."

"You've got teeth like knives."

I nodded sadly.

He beckoned with his hand. "Come on, spit it out."

"Spit what out?"

"The pint of blood you nicked." His face split into a wide grin. "Of course you're forgiven. Can I hug you or are you still a bit sensitive to blood?" "No, I'm ok now." Dan hugged me, I looked over his shoulder at Jake and Grampa. Jake was already motoring his way through the sandwiches. Dan released me and pulled his t shirt aside to expose a large white dressing that covered the bite mark on his shoulder. "Your Dad stitched it for me. After what we were talking about this morning, I'm glad it's you who bit me, not one of the others." Dan sniffed. "So…um.. What do I taste like then?"

I laughed. "O negative."

"And… is that… tasty?"

I chuckled, "It's… good stuff… yeah." This was a slightly surreal conversation. Dan seemed to like my admission that his blood was 'good stuff'.

"Cool!" Dan looked around "Oi you, don't eat all the sandwiches!" He said to Jake and his raised voice caused Jess to wake. Grandma flitted over to her.

"Hello sweetheart how you feeling?" Jess made an indistinct reply. "You don't need to wake up you sleep as long as you want." Jess asked after Ben. "He's fine, he's downstairs and Alice is looking after him right now. Yes, he's had his first feed." I walked over to where Grandma was. Jess looked absolutely exhausted.

"Hiya." She whispered.

"Congratulations on Ben." I said, not having had the chance to say it before.

"Thanks."

"How you feeling?"

"Like I got run over by a truck. But at least I'm alive." She smiled.

"And Mommy to a _beautiful_ baby boy!" said Esmé.

"Poor kid." Said Dan.

Jess shook her head. "Mummy. I don't think I'm a Mommy, I'm a Mummy. Shit, I'm a _Mummy!_ Oh yeah, poor kid."

"Oh you'll be ok; you'll get the hang of it." encouraged Grandma, "Bella did and Nessie turned out just fine."

"At least she could pick Nessie up. I'm going to be the personification of hands-off parenting." Jess sounded down.

"Don't worry about that, it'll come in time. Charlie held Nessie when she was asleep at first and they built it up from there. He's an intelligent little boy, he probably knows already that you're his…Mummy and he's not to hurt you. Edward will know and he'll let you know when Ben can handle it. But in the meantime, you rest and get your strength back. Do you want some sandwiches?"

Jess shook her head. "Not yet, in a while." She looked up at me, an amused grin on her face. "Yeah, I'm not paying up until you manage to get all eight pints of blood out of him. Honestly, you should have heard the fuss he was making."

"Excuse me, it hurt and she got very nearly an armful!"

Jess sniggered through a yawn. Their blasé attitude to what I had done to Dan confused me. They didn't see my lapse in control as anything other than something to make a joke of. I didn't see it that way and maybe when they were wrestling with bloodlust of their own, they wouldn't either.

The afternoon passed, the Volturi left with the beginnings of a collaboration and as the afternoon slipped into the evening, Jess finally made it downstairs to see Ben again. Randall carried her down and placed her on his lap on the sofa. She winced a little from her broken ribs and now the caesarean scar, but all that flew right out the window when she clapped eyes on Ben as Carlisle brought him over. Her eyes were as wide as saucers. His rapid growth was already making itself evident as in the space of a day he'd lost his newborn look and now resembled a baby of two months old.

"I know you told me it would be quick, but, _wow_!"

Carlisle sat down next to Jess and Randall. Jasper and Rose stood behind the sofa. Jane and Dan stood to the side behind Jess and at the other end of the sofa Daniel perched on the other arm. The rest of us stood around, trying not to crowd the little family. Grampa and Jake had returned, bringing Billy with them and news that across town another baby had been born; Harriet Clearwater had made her appearance a few days earlier than expected and both mother and daughter were doing fine.

But here it was all about this mother and son and how soon Jess would be able to hold Ben. Jess and Ben faced each other, only a small distance separated them but it might as well be miles.

"What do you think Edward?" Said Carlisle.

Jess was suddenly anxious. "I don't want to cause him any problems; I don't want him to lose control. I can wait."

"He wants to be with you Jess." Replied Dad "And for both your sakes we need to enable this to happen as soon as possible. Carlisle? Inch over a bit." Carlisle moved towards Jess and Ben did not break his gaze from her. "Jess put your hand out towards him, slowly." Jess extended her arm towards him.

"How's he doing? Asked Randall."

"He's ok, he's coping."

Ben leant forward in Carlisle's arms and raised his own arm to meet Jess's. His unexpected movement shocked her and she pulled her arm back with an audible gasp. Ben's face fell and he let out an anguished wail, raising both his arms towards Jess this time. And suddenly there was nothing, not broken ribs, major surgery, or the potential of his venomous bite that would keep Jessica Taylor away from her son. She reached forward and plucked him out of Carlisle's grasp, pulling him to her to comfort him, stroking his hair and soothing him just as any mother would.

"Edward?" Asked Jasper, concerned.

Dad shrugged. "He's got it, he knows; all he wanted was her."

In my head a similar scenario played out, of my reaction to meeting my Mom for the first time. All I wanted at that moment was her and I completely understood why it was so important that this bond was secured between Jess and her son. There were some bonds that once forged in a vampire, could never be broken, even if in time one of them got themselves a bit confused.

Dan exhaled and clapped his hands, rubbing them together as if to warm them. "Well that went better than expected; now we can all be home in time for tea and medals!" That sent a ripple of laughter around everyone.

"Did somebody mention tea?" Said Esmé.

"Use the Tetley's and two sugars in that, thanks Mrs C." said Dan.

Esmé laughed. "Jess? Cup of tea?"

Through tears of happiness streaming down her face as she held Ben and he in turn clung to her, Jess nodded. Randall had wrapped his arms around the two of them; his face was buried in Jess's hair.

"A cup of tea, what a very British way to celebrate." said Grampa. "Go on, I'll try some."

"Careful Charlie, British tea's not for the faint-hearted." Jake joked.

"I'll cope; I'll just add it to the other weirdness that is my life."

"Speaking of British, I think it's time to break the strike Alice," said Carlisle. "Let's bring the Taylor's home."


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter ****Thirty: Family Ties**

"Carrots, Charlie?" Said Brian Taylor as he passed the dish to Grampa.

"Thanks." It's very good of you to invite us over for lunch."

"Oh it's the least we can do." Said Susie, "For keeping an eye on Dan and the house while we've been away. And thank you for encouraging him to keep the place clean, it means such a lot to come back to a tidy house. I was expecting something that resembled a landfill site. This new-found cleanliness even extends to his room as well, which is amazing."

"There's only so much squalor your can live with before you're finally faced with having to tidy it up yourself." Dan commented, heaping broccoli onto his plate. Correction, there was only so much squalor Jane could live with before she snapped and tidied it up herself.

"Good!" said Susie. "Perhaps I should go away more often, then."

"Feel free." Said Dan, although his desire had nothing to do with wanting to do more around the house; he and Jane had become used to having their own space and having his parents back felt like an intrusion.

It was Sunday lunchtime and the Taylor's had been back in Forks three days. The strike having been broken, they had to wait for their turn in the massive backlog of flights to clear from Heathrow. But the family were now reunited; Charlie having collected Jess from the imaginary facility in Seattle where she'd been 'resting' earlier in the day before her parents returned.

Jess was struggling to keep up the pretence that she was physically fine. It would be several weeks before her broken ribs and her caesarean scar healed and Carlisle was keeping her supplied with heavy duty pain-relief to mask the worst of it. But she moved uneasily, gingerly; protecting herself from the pain and it was taking a make-up job from Alice each morning to keep her looking well.

Emotionally, she was finding it hard to have such fractured amounts of time with Randall and Ben. For the last two days, I'd called round after breakfast under the pretence of the pair of us 'hanging out together' and driven her straight over to the house. But Susie was expecting dinner as a family each evening and the rest of it sat in front of the TV, time to catch up and be a normal family again after over three weeks apart.

Jess was doing her best to mesh the two worlds together; trying to appease her mother's desire to be closer to her daughter - to help her deal with her recent trauma - and Jess's more pressing concern, of making sure she was on Skype to say goodnight to Ben. I'd been at the Cullen house last night when Jess had been reading a bedtime story in whispered tones to her little boy. However, Ben's choice of book had given her some indication that she could forget any idea of pre-school lift-the-flap books and _The Very Hungry Caterpillar_, when he'd presented her with Jules Verne's _Journey to the Centre of the Earth_ for her to take home.

"Nessie did exactly the same to me." Said Mom. I was really looking forward to sharing my favourite children's stories with her and she jumped right in with Jane Austen."

There had been tears from Jess that night as Randall picked Ben up to take him to bed; the difficulty of having to divide her time between her two realities was being brought sharply home to her. Jess went down to spend the evening in front of the TV with the parents and to wait for later, when the family were in bed and Randall came over to be with her. Jane was living in Dan's room and as he rarely came out of it anyway; there was no great suspicion in him spending even more time in there with the door closed.

But today was Sunday and apart from an early morning visit from Alice to deliver the sleepy little boy to his parents while she did Jess's make-up, Jess had been marooned in the human world. When Grampa and I had arrived, Jess had almost thrown herself at us. Somehow the four of us together gave her comfort and strength that she could make it through the times like this when she missed 'her boys' dreadfully. While the pregnancy may have been physically demanding, the real emotional onslaught was starting now.

Brian and Susie sat at either end of the dining table, with Jess and Dan on one side, Grampa and I on the other. Each of us helped ourselves to vegetables from the dishes that were being passed around. Susie was clearly expecting many more people for lunch, as she'd cooked enormous quantities of everything. Plates filled, Brian raised his glass of wine.

"A toast." He said. "It's been a difficult few weeks what with one thing and another, so I just want to raise a glass and say that it's nice to be back and together again as a family, Also to Jess; I hope you can put all this behind you and let things get back to normal. To family!" He said. We all raised our glasses and joined in with the toast. Jess's vacant expression told me that her heart was with a small family three miles to the north east of us.

"Dig in!" Said Susie and none of us needed asking a second time.

"So Charlie, how's the world of law and order been while we've been away?" Asked Brian.

"Quiet, not much going on. Forks isn't a seething hotbed of crime at the best of times, thankfully. How was England?"

"Damp. Not much of a summer again there. It was nice to go back and see people, but after a bit you start to want your own space and Susie especially was feeling a bit lonely without the children. It was strange not having the two of them bickering constantly in the back of the car."

"And there's been a lot less bickering since we got back, too; hardly a peep from either of them. It's very odd. They were sat on the sofa last night and I nearly called you over." Said Susie.

"Me?" said Charlie "Why?"

"Well, because Dan and Jess can barely inhabit the same planet without arguing, so for them to be in the _same_ room, sat on the _same_ sofa and not having a go at one another, I was almost tempted to ask who they were and what had they done with my children?" Susie laughed at her own joke.

"Jess has been through a lot Mum." Said Dan seriously, cutting off his Mum mid-laugh. "I'm just trying to be supportive." He'd been down for a few hours last night as Jane had gone off hunting.

"Oh I'm sure you are, but I'm just saying it's odd, I'm not used to it. It's nice don't get me wrong, but very odd."

"I'm sure they'll be back trying to assassinate each other by the end of the week Susie, don't worry about it." Brian took a sip of his wine. "Did we tell you Charlie that we once came home from the supermarket to find them attacking each other with knives on the front lawn?"

Grampa laughed "No."

Brian shook his head slowly. "Thank goodness we didn't have neighbours; the pair of them would have been carted off by the Police years ago. When they were about nine, Susie once went to discover why they were strangely quiet and found that Jess had fallen asleep on the sofa and Dan had stapled her hair to the seat."

Dan laughed. "Those were the days eh Jess? We haven't done anything like that for ages."

"The thing with you two" continued Brian; "Is that you never know where it's going to end. One minute you're playing with Lego and the next you're juggling a couple of hand grenades. It's like you both thrive on the extreme." Grampa chuckled and Brian put down his knife and fork. "There are times when you see news items on TV, a kid's got into a lion's cage at a zoo for instance and I sit there and thank God that these two have never been to the zoo, because that would've been them!" Brian held his hands apart. "My kids" he shook his left hand, "danger" he shook his right hand and then brought them together. "They're like magnets. Thankfully here, apart from Jess's incident, it's been a good deal quieter. I'm hoping they're finally growing out of it."

Dan blew out air from his cheeks. "Yeah, there's a distinct lack of hand grenades to play with. On the other hand Dad, we've now got cars, so plenty of scope for danger there."

"Ooh speaking of cars, I was speaking to Paul Olsen last night, apparently somebody in the area's got a Bugatti Veyron. He's seen it. Know who that belongs to Charlie?" Both Dan and Jess were trying to hide the smirks appearing on their faces.

"No." My Grandpa deadpanned.

"These idiots in their fast cars need to be taken down a peg or two; they can't use these roads like a race track. Don't be afraid to slap a speeding ticket on whoever that is."

"If I ever catch him, I will."

Dan lost it then and started laughing, which spread to me, to Grampa and finally to Jess who was trying to covertly hold her sides while she laughed.

"What's so funny?" Asked Susie.

"Oh, I'm laughing at the very funny idea of a Police Cruiser which can do…?"

"I can get it up to ninety."

"Trying to catch a Veyron; which has a top speed of over two hundred and fifty miles an hour. Chief Swan is not going to catch the guy driving that."

"Radar trap?" suggested Brian.

"If I do manage to get the guy, I'll let you know."

"But don't hold your breath Dad. I think Veyron's come fitted with a radar trap avoidance device."

"Or their driver's do." Murmured Grampa; which caused Jess to squeak in pain with laughter.

The comments were a rare incursion of our secret world. After the intensity of the last four weeks, the 'normal human world' felt so alien. There was so much we couldn't say, that the four of us ended up saying very little, letting Susie and Brian do all the talking about their trip and 'bloody British Airways' always being on strike. Jess said virtually nothing and earned a rebuke from Susie for constantly checking her cell phone.

"Jess, not at the table, please. Who are you talking to anyway?"

"A friend."

"Well do it later, we're eating. Family time is important."

"Yes I know that." Jess said sadly.

Lunch done and Susie and Brian's exploits in England and the nightmare at Heathrow all caught up with; Grampa went into the living room with Brian and Susie, while Jess, Dan and I disappeared upstairs with coffee and were met by Jane in Jess's room.

Dan shut his sister's door and pulled the heavy door stop against it. From her bag, Jess took a box of tablets and took two to top up her pain relief. She sat down gingerly in the chair at her desk.

"This is doing my head in." She said, tapping her keyboard to bring her computer back from sleep, finding Skype and connecting to Randall's account. Randall, with Ben sat on his lap appeared in the window. At once she came alive. "Hello, my gorgeous boys!" She whispered. Jess, Randall and Ben touched the screen, the closest they could get to touching. "I'm missing you so much!"

"We are too. Hey, we have a surprise for you."

"What, another one?" Jess laughed, Ben did astonishing things at every turn it was hard for her to keep up. At eight days old he was already as big as a four month old baby and still changing by the hour.

"This is a big one. Are you ready?"

"Ok, hit me with it."

Randall pursed his lips. "On second thoughts, I think we should be there for this. Give us a minute, we'll be over."

"Ok." Jess closed the connection; Jane went to push up the bedroom window.

Just over a minute later, Randall, with Ben clinging to his back, swept in through the window. Jess kissed them both and sat back down, she wasn't yet able to pick Ben up without yelping in pain, so Randall placed Ben in her lap and knelt down at her knees.

"So what's the big surprise?" She whispered to Ben. "What brilliant, amazing thing can you do today?"

"I can talk." Came Ben's confident reply. Jess almost jumped off her chair in shock, but her sudden movement caused internal pain which made her wince. Dan jumped up and got closer to his nephew.

"Oh my goodness!" Jess looked at Randall. "What were his first words? Oh hang on, why am I asking you?" She grinned, placing an affectionate hand on his cheek. "What were your first words?" She said to Ben.

"When can we see Mummy?" Ben replied. Jess was clearly touched and pulled him gently to her and hugging him as tightly as her broken ribs would allow.

"He wanted to know what time we could see you on Skype. That was about a half hour ago."

"Were you shocked?"

"Yes! Obviously, we knew it was going to be soon, but when it happens, it's still amazing."

"So he can talk properly? There's no development of speech or anything?" Dan whispered.

"No, he learns by copying. He watches and copies or he listens and copies." explained Randall. "How's it been here since I left?"

"Oh, just your regular day in weird world." Jess replied, quietly. "I don't think any of us knew what to say over lunch. Although we did enjoy having a laugh at the slight expense of Edward."

"Jess?" Susie called up from the bottom of the stairs. Randall picked Ben up and helped Jess off the seat. Jess went to her bedroom door, kicked aside the door stop and opened it. Jane, Randall and Ben moved to behind the door where they couldn't be seen.

"Yes?"

"We're going to show Charlie some of our pictures from our trip; do you three want to come down too?"

"No, it's alright thanks Mum; we'll see them another time. We're working on some songs right now."

"OK!"

Jess closed her door again and sat back down, receiving Ben again and snuggling the little boy against her. Randall sat down on the floor leaning up against her and grabbing hold of his son's feet, which made the little boy giggle quietly. Jess wrinkled her nose in delight at the sound. She looked at me. "Can I move in with you?" She sighed. "Life would be much easier if I wasn't trying to split myself in two. Becoming a vampire would have been the easier option."

"Jess, we'll manage, we'll figure something out." reassured Randall.

"I think it's just going to be Sundays that will be the tough ones to get through." ventured Dan, "Mum sort of expects we'll be around all day. It doesn't matter to her if we're out from Monday to Saturday."

"It's important that you keep things as normal as possible." I said. "The worst thing you can do is deviate from your usual behaviour. Your Mom's already noticing the change in you."

"Oh?" Randall looked at Jess, then at Dan.

"We're not arguing as much." She explained to him.

"Ok, well that needs to go back in. And you need to smile more," he said to Jess. "I know you're tired and sore and trying to work out how to be good Mom, but don't lose sight of who you are. I don't want the Jess I fell in love with to get buried under a mountain of worry. I want Jess to be Jess."

"I want you to smile Mummy." Said Ben. "Daddy can tickle _your _feet."

"O-ho _no_!" Jess laughed. "Your Daddy is not getting anywhere near my feet. Again." She added and under the make-up I saw her blush.

Randall grinned at Ben. "Mommy's got incredibly ticklish feet. In fact, she's quite ticklish all over." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh, thank you very much." She mussed Randall's hair. "Telling him all my secrets? I shall get my own back one day."

"You can try." Randall grinned and Jess gave him a look that suggested that Randall was a mite unwise to be goading her in that way. There was every indication that Jess _would_ get her own back.

"Not a wise thing to do mate." Agreed Dan. "Taunting Jess is tantamount to wandering around with a hand grenade with the pin out. It's only a matter of time before it blows up in your face."

"Thankfully I'm bomb-proof."

"Yeah, but you're not Jess-proof. For that, there's no known cure." Dan noted and Randall laughed. "Ah, you're laughing, but tell me, just how does a one hundred and fifty year old vampire get completely pole-axed by a seventeen year old girl?"

"Probably in the same way that the twelve hundred year old vampire sat next to you gets pole-axed by a seventeen year old boy."

"Fair point." Dan kissed Jane's head.

"Carlisle thinks there's something unique about you two, perhaps a hidden ability that may emerge if you become vampires."

"Really?" Said Dan, impressed by this. "I just thought it was the Lynx effect." Jess lost her composure and started sniggering uncontrollably, laughing and wincing in pain.

" Haha! Ow, ow, ow!" Ben looked concerned and tried to put his arms around her. "I'm ok Ben, just Uncle Dan making me laugh."

"I don't get it?" Said Randall, clearly Jane didn't either.

Dan shuffled off the bed where he was sat, disappeared out of the room and returned with a bottle of shower gel that he handed to Randall. "Use that and the girls will be flocking round you."

"Excuse me," objected Jess, "this one's off the market."

"Yeah well, you know, if it doesn't work out between you two and you fancy and night on the town, Randall; this'll enhance your chances in the bird-pulling department." Dan grinned.

"You mean the natural entrapments that vampires come with are secondary compared to the power of this shower gel?" Randall grinned, lifted the lid and pulled a face at the smell. "Men wash themselves with that? And human women find it attractive?"

"Devastatingly." Dan snickered.

"Mummy, I don't think Uncle Dan is telling the truth.

"No sweetheart, he does tend to talk a load of bol… rubbish." We laughed as Jess minded her language in front of her son.

"You were going to say bollocks. I've heard you say it lots of times." The little boy replied and the rest of us started sniggering.

"Ah…" said Jess.

"Oh great, eight days old and our son utters his first swear word." Randall rolled his eyes and dropped his head forward onto Jess's thigh.

"This is where Edward should have told me that not only could he hear me he could understand me too." Jess looked down at Ben. "I'm sorry, Mummy shouldn't say those words."

There were footsteps on the stairs, Randall grabbed Ben and with Jane following, they darted out of the window. Jess's bedroom door opened.

"Sounds like you're having a lot of fun in here." said Susie. "It's good to hear you laughing. What's so funny?"

"Oh um… We're introducing Ness to the Lynx effect."

Susie scoffed "That's bloke's shower gel, perhaps she needs Impulse?"

"Yeah, well, same thing."

"I thought I heard other voices, a small child?"

"Oh that was a video on You Tube." Said Jess.

"Oh. And who's Edward?"

"Someone we know from The Shed." replied Jess.

"Oh. I came to see if you wanted more coffee?"

"No, we're fine thanks Mum." Said Dan, looking uncomfortable.

"Ness?"

"I'm fine thanks, Susie."

"Ok." As she left the room and went back downstairs, I was sure that Susie Taylor had the distinct impression she wasn't being told the truth.

"Shit." whispered Jess. "Note to self, whisper at all times. Guys you can come back in."

Jane, Randall and Ben back in the room, Randall shared with us the other piece of news that he had. While we had been out, Alice had picked up that our Denali family were taking us up on our invitation to come and meet Ben and Randall and were planning to arrive on Wednesday.

Jess looked at me. "So are there any more?"

"No." I smiled. "That's the extent of it."

"Who will we be meeting?" she asked.

"Tanya and Brad, Garrett and Kate, Eleazar and Carmen."

Jess smirked "So _that's_ the Eleazar you said you knew."

"Absolutely! A friend of my parent's and over seven hundred years old, I wasn't lying." I grinned.

"Your world is truly fascinating." Said Jess, quietly; winding the fingers of her left hand through Randall's hair, much to his obvious pleasure.

"As yours is to me."

"Swap?" she said.

I smiled at my friend and spoke my heart's desire. "When the time's right, come and be part of our family." I looked over to Dan. "Both of you."

Jess looked like she might cry. "You mean that?" She whispered. "You want me to be part of your family?"

I nodded my head. "Yes."

"What about Randall, Jane? Daniel even?"

"We've been invited to join the family, that's part of why the Denali contingent are coming down." said Jane. "A sort of formal recognition and a chance for us all to meet."

Dad and Mom had asked me what I thought of Daniel becoming part of the Cullen family and I'd given the idea my approval. Two nights later, the nine of us had met to formally endorse the nine of us becoming, in essence, double that; with the addition of Randall, Ben, Jane and Daniel. Carlisle also wanted to formally include Grampa in our family group, although it was more than likely he would remain human and there were no objections to this. We were not so much a family anymore as a dynasty.

Esmé had voiced the only concern. "We're going to need a bigger house."

"Yes," said Carlisle. "I think we may have finally outgrown Forks."

"So when we become vampires we become full members of the family?" asked Jess.

"No, full membership is marriage." I said. "Vampire state is optional."

Jess looked at Dan. "What are you doing for your eighteenth?"

Daniel returned a look of intense seriousness. "Going to Las Vegas?"

"That makes two of us." Said Jess.

"What's in Las Vegas?" Asked Jane.

Dan took her hand and pulled her off the bed. "There's something I need to ask you. Come on."

Wednesday afternoon was sunny and gorgeous as our newly-expanded family gathered on the back lawn outside the house. On her finger Jane was wearing a solitaire diamond engagement ring that sparkled every bit as much as she did.

Jess was stood next to me, wearing sunglasses. "I'm feeling a bit under-dressed. I think I should have rolled in a pot of glitter before I came out." She said; her comment made me snort with laughter. "Good job Ben's not into nursery rhymes, I'd have a hard time not singing _twinkle, twinkle little vampire_. Who we waiting for?"

"Jake and Grampa."

"They're in the family too?"

I nodded. "Jake, because I'm bonded to him. Grampa, because looking after your family is what you do." At that moment I heard Jake's truck coming down the drive.

We were soon all assembled in an informal horseshoe with Carlisle and Tanya at the head. Jake was stood with his arms wrapped around me and I leant back against him feeling the press of his chest against my back. True, it was a bit of a distraction.

"For many, family is something they are born into," started Carlisle. "For us, family is a choice. We are assembled here to re-affirm that choice and to welcome those who have chosen to become part of our family.

"Today, we welcome Daniel Mitchell Cullen, Jane Cullen, William Randall Cullen and his son Benjamin William Randall Cullen to our family. We also acknowledge William's partner Jessica…"

"_Jess_!" She muttered.

Carlisle's eyes twinkled. "I stand corrected, _Jess_."

"And can you call him Will, please?" Jess continued "It's bad enough him changing his name without you referring to him as _William_." A laugh went through our assembled group.

"Will?" I commented to her.

Jess turned to me and shrugged her shoulders. "Now he knows what it is, he wants to use it again. I've made him shorten it. I don't do long names."

"William's a nice name."

"Oh yeah, it's nice name, but…"

"Er… girls?" interjected Jasper. "Later."

Jess grinned. "Sorry Jazz, sorry Carlisle. You were saying?"

"I was welcoming you to our family Jess."

"Oh yes. Carry on!"

Carlisle snickered and shook his head.

"Think of it as a verbal photo-bomb Carlisle." said my Dad, grinning at Jess.

"Seems to me that you've got your hands full with that one." Tanya laughed.

"Yes, but aren't you glad she's on our side?" There was another laugh and Jess linked arms with me.

Carlisle carried on, formally welcoming Dan and Jake into our family. To Daniel he said that the family would commit to caring for his daughter Madison as much as they were able to.

To Grandpa, Carlisle acknowledged his faithfulness in keeping the secret of the Cullen family and assured him that the family would care for him. Carlisle did not mention the other secret Grampa was also the keeper of; that was for Jake to tell Jess and Dan in time. Daniel, Randall and Jane had already encountered the wolves on their hunts, but respected Jake's authority as the head of the Quileute tribe in not divulging the wolves' existence.

So here was my family, now swelled to seventeen members with the potential for one more if my new uncle Daniel found himself a partner in time. I agreed with Grandma, we would definitely need a bigger house!

Afterwards, with Jake and Grampa departed back to work, Ben was the centre of attention and passed from family member to family member as they all got their share of the cuddles. I sat with Jess as she looked over at Carmen and Eleazar who were currently enjoying time with Ben.

"Time was when that was me. Your son has stolen my spotlight!" I laughed.

"I've seen the pictures; you were cute as a kid. I see that much like Ben you had an insane number of clothes. I don't think Grandma Alice is ever going to let Ben having anything more than a week old."

I shook my head. "Unlikely."

"What surprises me is that they have pictures of you, but they don't have any video. Most parents can't pass up the opportunity to video their kids."

"They don't need to, they all have perfect recall. They can tell me what they were doing on any given day from the day they became vampires."

"Yeah but you can't share it with anyone can you? You can't invite people round to watch your memories?"

It occurred to me then, that I had never demonstrated to Jess what I could do. "Actually, Jess, I _can_ share my memories."

"What?"

"I can show you my memories, if you will let me."

"Yeah? How are you doing to do that?"

"I just need to touch your face or neck, and you will be able to see what I show you. Is that OK?"

Jess nodded.

I turned square on to her and gently placed my right hand on her cheek. I showed her a memory she knew would be true, our first meeting in the office and then walking arm in arm across the school campus to our biology lesson. If felt so long ago now.

"Oh my God!" she exclaimed and stunned laughter came from her lips. "It's that day, but from your viewpoint!" I nodded. Dad and Mom came over to us. "I can see Dan over there!" Jess gave me her rapt attention as the memory played. I skipped to other bits of our time together, to the night she'd first met Randall at The Shed, who I now had to remember to call Will.

"Will!" She shouted, "Come here! Come and see what Ness can do." Will came over with Daniel. "This is mental! She's like a living, breathing version of YouTube!"

"Thanks Jess!" I laughed and got my own back my replaying some of her drunk dancing at her birthday party last October. She hooted with laughter at herself. "Oh that was fun – before we got busted, though. So you remember absolutely everything?" I nodded.

"Perfectly."

"So if I ever want to remember Ben's birth I can come to you?"

My thoughts elicited a groan from my Dad. "I can go one better. How squeamish are you?" I said eyeing her with eyes that dared her to accept.

Jess rose to the challenge, eyes sparkling with excitement. "Yes!"

Dad knelt down. I placed my hand on his cheek, turned his memories into my memories and passed them onto Jess. Her mouth fell open as she witness the actual moment of her son's birth. She said nothing, but tears appeared in her eyes as she saw him helped out, Carlisle cut the cord, wrap him and bring him over to her. As a tear ran down Jess's cheek, I broke the connection with her and with Dad. There was a second and then Jess flung her arms around me. "That was the most incredible and special thing, thank you." She said through sobs, Will knelt down to rub her back. "And thank you Edward."

"You are welcome." I turned my face to my Dad. He leant forward and kissed my forehead. "Never underestimate the gift you have." He said. "It is no party trick."

That evening, Dan and Jess had returned home and I was sat in Grampa's living room reading while he watched ESPN. My head drifted back to that first day at school. I pondered how different my life might have been if I had made friends with Naomi, or Chrissy and Jess and Dan Taylor had remained just the two odd British kids that nobody really understood. My life would have been all the poorer for not getting to know them. And thinking of the joy they brought to our family and to Will and Jane especially, my family's life would have been all the poorer too.

I was reminded of something Heather had said in San Francisco;

"I'm sure you'll find that everything will work out fine in the end. It may not work out how you want it to or how you expect it to, but it _will_ work out; eventually."

How right she was.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter Thirty One**

**R****evealing**

On the first Monday in August Ben Cullen took his first steps, closely followed by his first run; straight up the stairs to show his Mummy. Will followed him up. Jess was in Carlisle's office where Dad, in Carlisle's absence was checking on the progress of her healing. From down in the living room we heard Jess's scream of delight at this new development.

Just like they had done with me, Carlisle and Dad were carefully recording Ben's progress. The same path was being followed again, with extremely rapid development in the early weeks. My own growth has slowed right to a stop, I was done; I would not change now for eternity. My time in Forks was on countdown, I could not stay here indefinitely while around me my peers matured into their twenties and I did not.

Emmett, ever the clown, suggested to Mom that she and Dad throw me a 'topping out' party to celebrate my 'completion.'

"Em she's not a skyscraper." She chuckled as I snuggled up against her on the sofa one evening. "Besides, she'll be seven soon, you'll get your party then."

"And there's Grampa's fiftieth birthday coming up, we could throw him a party for that." I suggested.

Mom shook her head "No, he doesn't want a party. Besides, it's the Forks Sixtieth Anniversary party the same day; he has to go to that. Perhaps you can go to that Emmett?"

"It won't be as good a party as the first. Hey, remember that Rose?"

"How could I forget?" She grinned, flashing a suggestive grin at her husband. That was all the encouragement Emmett needed and Alice, sat next to Rose, growled at them to go to their room.

Descending the stairs after her check up, hand in hand with the newly-mobile Ben, Jess was every bit the proud Mom.

"There are definite advantages to this." She said. At approaching a month old, Ben was approximately the size of a one year old child, but his physical development was far outstripped by his mental development. To my family there were no surprises; but to Jess, Dan, Randall, Jane and Daniel who were seeing a hybrid's development at close quarters, they were utterly fascinated. "I'm so sad that I can't take him to a toddler group, he'd completely trounce every competitive uber-mummy going! '_My son crawled for the first time today_' she imitated. Well mine beat Usain Bolt over one hundred metres. Put that in your pipe and smoke it! I could take competitive Mummy-ing to a whole new level." Jess looked down at her son and in turn he gazed up adoringly at her. "I wish I could show you off to everyone." She said sadly.

"You can show him off to us anytime." Said Rose. "No shortage of admirers here. We could even import some for you."

"I know. It's just…" Jess tailed off. We all knew what it was just.

Ben scampered up Jess and clung to her, nestling his head on her shoulder.

"Yep, definite advantages and definite sucky bits." She sighed. "Do you want something to drink?" She asked him.

He shook his head. "Just want you." He said quietly.

"Ok, but I need to sit down because you weigh a tonne. What have they been feeding you, lead?"

Dad came down the stairs. "Now he's walking we should get him hunting as soon as possible. Will, what about taking him out this afternoon?"

"What do you think Jess?" Will asked her.

Jess shrugged. "Not really up to me is it?"

Will walked over and sat down beside her "No, but I want you to feel as included as you can be."

Jess looked round Will to me. "Ness will you go with them and then I can see it?"

I nodded and then something occurred to me which I looked to Dad for his agreement on. He nodded his approval. "How about you come too?"

"Ness; that is not a good idea." Warned Jasper.

"No, obviously not _with_ him, but I was thinking if I took Jess up to a ledge at a safe distance, then if you drove the animal to a place beneath it, Jess could see Ben hunt for herself."

Jasper considered this. "It could work. Alice?"

Alice shook her head. "Sorry, there are hybrids involved; I have no idea how it's going to work out. But Ness has had more hair-brained schemes than that, so if Edward's happy with it, then I say go for it."

"Would there be room for one more?" Asked Dan.

"I'll take you." Jane replied.

"Cool!" Dan exclaimed. "We're all going on a bear hunt!"

"He's going to be hunting _bears_?" The idea horrified Jess and she pulled Ben tighter to her. There was a ripple of laughter.

Emmett leaned forward, a grin on his face. "Your little boy is more than capable of taking down a small grizzly."

"Seriously? Oh my goodness!"

"What did you think he was going to hunt?" Continued Emmett.

"Um… Rabbits?" Jess admitted sheepishly.

Even I had to laugh at that.

With Jess on my back and Dan on Jane's, the pair of us sped through the forest to a cliff top we had agreed on, where the humans could safely watch. Apart from us four, everyone was out for Ben's first hunt. For me this was a very significant moment, Jess was seeing me at the closest she could safely get to me at my most vampiric. She had been out with Will, but for her it was more clarification that I really wasn't human.

We reached the ledge and settled down to wait for the animal to be driven into the clearing below. I had brought binoculars for both Dan and Jess as their human eyes were not going to be able to see clearly enough. We'd also need to hold them; there was no way they were going to keep them steady, either. In the distance, Jane saw the movement which alerted us to their arrival.

"You'll need to be quiet." Jane said. "If any of them are properly hunting…"

"It's OK. Will's told me why I can't be anywhere near him when he hunts. I know it's not easy for him to separate me from dinner. I guess Ben will be the same?"

Jane nodded. I wasn't safe around humans when I hunted and if one got in my way there was every chance I would go for them.

As the group got closer, Jane and I held the binoculars steady over the clearing that the group were heading for. The advance party arrived first, Jasper, Alice, Daniel and Emmett secured the clearing so the animal could not escape.

"He's coming." I said to Jess. The deer rushed out of the trees, closely followed by Ben, Will hot on his heels. I smiled as the little boy pounced on the animal, latching on to his neck and wrapping his limbs around it. He'd done it! Ben had made his first kill. The rest of my family appeared on the edge of the clearing, looking on approvingly.

It took Jess's brain a second or two to process what had happened and a quiet sort of whine escaped her before she gasped for air, clearly in shock.

"Oh my _God_!" She breathed. "Dan did you see that? Did you see what he did? I could barely follow him he was so _fast_!"

"Look at him!" Dan was quietly laughing with shock. "He's barely a month old and he's brought down a deer! That was just the coolest thing! Well done Ben." Dan pulled away from the binoculars and looked at Jane. "I've got a better idea of how you hunt now."

She nodded. "It's exactly the same in every case."

From below I saw Will look up to the ledge and wave at Jess. Ben was still draining the deer. She raised a hand and waved back.

When Ben was finished, Jess pulled away from the binoculars and looked at me. "I know that was a really weird thing to watch, but thank you. There is so much that I can't understand about Ben's life, but to be able to have an idea how he hunts, while I can't be there with him; that's going to help a lot."

"You're welcome." I replied. It was a little thing, but I wanted to help Jess bridge the gap between her human life and the vampire life of Will and Ben.

Jane and I descended from the ledge with them and met up with the others a little distance away. Jess praised her son who leapt into her arms and clung on to her, Will moved in to scoop Jess up in his arms, Ben transferring to his father's shoulder as we moved off back to the house at a leisurely run, laughing and chatting as we went.

As their wedding anniversary approached, Mom and Dad went off on vacation to Esmé's Island; the island just of Rio de Janeiro that Carlisle had bought for Esmé as a gift and that we all used from time to time. Considering the difficult year it had been for them and that at one point there was a real chance that they wouldn't reach their seventh anniversary, the sight of the Veyron pulling away from the house made me pleased that they were getting this time together.

After the stresses and strains of July and a few weeks of anxiety, while Jess recovered and we all tried to help her cope with life being in two distinct halves, we had reached the point where everything was finally working. It was summertime and even in this rain-drenched part of America we were finally seeing the sun. Just because vampires had to keep away from humans on sunny days didn't mean we didn't like the sun.

Jess, Dan and I arrived at the house one warm sunny morning to find it empty and a note left for us on the hall table, letting us know that they'd gone down to the river.

"Let's go!" Said Jess. "Ness, give me a piggy back."

"Hey what about me?" Moaned Dan.

"You can walk you lazy git."

"And you would be?"

"Recovering from surgery. Pfft!" Jess blew a raspberry at her brother.

"It's not far, barely quarter of a mile." I said.

Jess scoffed. "I'm still getting me a piggy back girl, bend down."

"I could carry both of you."

"How are you going to do that?" Dan asked.

"If you give Jess a piggy back and then I'll pick you up and give you both a piggy back."

Dan laughed. "Ok, go on then, this I have to experience."

The Sol Duc River made a natural pool at a point a short distance from the house and it was at this that the three of us now arrived. I put Dan down and Jess, who had giggled the entire way, dropped off his back.

The pool was largely shaded from the sun, but here and there sparkles of it hit the water and my family. Against the far bank Rosalie, Alice and Jane were chatting. On the nearside; Daniel and Will were with Ben. Emmett was treading water towards the middle and into that vaulted Jasper, hitting the water with considerable velocity and creating his own personal tsunami.

"Oh my God." Said Jess, very quietly. "You could have warned me." She turned and was shocked to see me peeling off my clothes. "Ness!"

"Oh come on, we've all got the same bits."

"I am _not_ taking my clothes off!" She hissed; she was flushed and angry.

"Why not?"

"I've just had a baby."

"And?"

"My stomach doesn't look very nice."

"Who's going to be looking at it?"

"They are!"

"No they're not."

Jess looked uncomfortable. "I'll walk back to the house. I'll see you later."

"Jess, nobody cares what your stomach looks like."

"Jess!" called Will. He came downriver to where we were standing. Ben swam after him.

"Oh God no." Jess murmured and turned away to go.

"What's the matter?" I caught her arm and prevented her from going. "Nobody is judging you."

Jess looked in pain.

"Your stomach's going to be under the water, nobody will see it."

"They'll see the rest of me!"

"So?"

Dan came over. "I think she feels a bit…" He sighed indicating his own deep unease. "Inadequate. I know how she feels."

Will and Ben sprang out of the water and onto the bank. Behind them Jane had made her way over and sprang lightly out beside Dan, appearing beside him in a rainbow of sparkles. I bit back a smile as I saw him cast a fleeting glance over Jane's naked body and then intently focus on her face, blood pooling in his cheeks.

"Mummy come _on_!" Ben grabbed Jess's hand and pulled her towards the river. Her face was resolutely averted. Will tried to get her attention she didn't look at him.

"Jess? What's up?"

"She's embarrassed." I said quickly so Jess wouldn't hear.

Will flitted in front of her, placing a finger under her chin and angling her face around to him. "Jess," he said softly searching her eyes for answers. "What have you got to be embarrassed about?"

"I don't look like Ness."

"No, you've got blonde hair, Ness has…"

"I'm not sculpted and gorgeous like she is!" Jess gabbled out. "Like everyone else is." She added sadly.

"Excuse me, but you _are_ gorgeous." Will insisted. "I do know what you look like." He whispered and bent to kiss her. "Now, are you going to take your clothes off or do I have to remove them for you?"

Jess pulled a face and shifted from foot to foot. "OK, but stand in front of me." Will chuckled.

I discarded the rest of my clothes, slipped into the water of the river and headed over to where Rosalie and Alice were. Flicking onto my back briefly I saw that Dan too was being persuaded out of his t-shirt and it wasn't too much later that loud expletives came from both his mouth and Jess's, as warm human skin came into contact with the cool Sol Duc River.

Even well hidden under the water, Jess was not relaxed as she swam slowly across the river towards me, flanked by Will and their water-baby, who seemed to think he was part fish.

"I shall be the same colour as you lot in a minute. It's freezing in here! And yeah I know you don't feel it." She looked over to where Ben was diving into and darting about in the water. "Is he auditioning for the next _Finding Nemo_ or the _Incredibles_?" She shook her head, baffled and then shivered. "This isn't fun." She moaned. "I'm too cold!"

Dan toughed it out for a while longer, but Jess climbed out of the water again and found a sunny patch in the undergrowth to dry off in. As she sat in the sun she laughed as she watched Ben play in the water with Will and studiously did not look over at Jasper, Emmett and Daniel in their childish quest to see who could make the biggest splash. Emmett was winning that competition.

"I didn't know where to look." Jess said later, as she ran through a few pieces on the piano.

"At least the girls had the decency to stay in the water." Grumbled Dan.

"Feeling inadequate were you?" She grinned.

"Just a bit."

"Think of it as the shape of things to come."

"Yes, but can you get things you don't have? Do you get a six-pack if you don't actually have a six-pack right now?" Dan looked over at me.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Don't ask me, I was born this way."

Dan looked at his sister. "Can you ask Will?"

She nodded. "I shall ask Rose if it means your stomach and boobs firm up too."

Rose stuck her head around the corner of the living room. "Yes, they do." She grinned.

"Not that I have saggy boobs." Jess added quickly. "Although it's good news about the stomach. Just if I stay this way for a while, I want to know that you don't get stuck with flabby bits for eternity."

"So you're not making the change soon?" I asked her.

"There's no rush. I'm not eighteen yet and Will's twenty five. I can make a… controlled exit in time." After the very real chance she could have been a vampire now, it was nice to know that she was allowing things to remain as normal as they could - for a while at least.

But in the meantime, Jess wasn't going to let herself go and as she regained her strength she decided that she needed to try and get some exercise. She threw herself into it by going off hiking with Will and Ben. Will carried her back exhausted from trying to do too much too soon. She spent the rest of the afternoon asleep on the sofa with Ben wrapped in her arms. Will came in later from hunting with Daniel and snapped photographs with his phone of them both asleep, saving one as his background.

The band was back together and we started to think about what we could play at the Forks anniversary party at the end of the month. Dan had suggested a couple of more acoustic pieces and one that Jess might sing herself. As we sat on a couple of oil drums in the rehearsal space one evening waiting for Zak and Ricky to show, Jess looked at the lyrics Dan handed to her. She held her hand over her face as she read them.

"Change the girl to a boy and it's like the song was written for me."

Dan sat down beside her "That's what I thought. Fancy giving it a go?"

She nodded. "But you and Ness have got to be with me, I'm not doing it on my own." She handed the lyrics to me. "What do you think?"

I looked them over and saw exactly what she meant, the song seeming to have been written for her.

"Do you think I should do it?"

"Absolutely. Although don't be surprised if I cry."

"No, you won't cry it's a happy song." Said Dan.

"That's what I mean." I said. "I'll cry with happiness."

Jess hugged me. "I think I will too." The door opened and Ricky and Zak came in. "Showtime." She whispered, and it was. Time to put on a show, leave our reality behind and enter the alternate universe of normal teens.

I sped through the forest back to the house, Jake at my heels, laughing as I went. We'd spent Saturday afternoon together in our meadow, lying in the glorious sun. With a certain person out of range of my head, I had taken full advantage of pushing things just that little bit farther with Jake. I'd laughed to myself at the remembrance of something Heather had said in San Francisco. '_Rolling around in the grass with a dog, how much more fun does a girl need in a day?_' I'd been rolling around in the grass with _my_ dog and I could think of one or two more things that would have made it even more fun; but Jake had been a frustrating gentleman.

Tonight was the council meeting down on the Reservation and we were heading back to the house so I could clean up and change; I had grass stains a-plenty on my clothes again. Jake's truck was at the house, so he was giving me a ride down there.

It had been a momentous few days in the Black household, with Billy proposing to Maggie and her accepting. Tonight he was going to announce his engagement to everyone else and that would, Jake was sure, spark the mother of all parties. As Jake's imprinted girlfriend, I would get to attend the council meeting – there were no secrets between the bonded couples - but the rest of the tribe and Maggie herself, would gather later around the barbeques and bonfires.

Running back to the house we cleared the river close to the pool and I picked up speed for home. Jake and I ran out of the forest onto the lawn at the back of the house, to be met by terrified screaming.

Jess grabbed Ben and tried to scramble to her feet, attempting to get away as fast as she could. I checked around for danger but could see none. Ben leapt out of her arms and stood between her and me, pulling himself up to his full height, drawing his lips back from his teeth and letting out a fierce snarl. This little boy had no qualms about protecting his human mother. Jess yelled at him to come back to her, her terrified screams drew everyone from the house and she bolted into Will. Dan appeared behind Jane and his eyes flew open as wide as dinner plates.

"Ah… I think the wolf's out of the bag." Said Emmett; pointing to Jake and chuckling.

Behind me I felt the pressure of air as Jake phased back into his human form, which elicited a shocked expletive from Dan. Jess's mouth hung open and I looked at her apologetically. I had completely forgotten there was one final secret they did not know and we'd revealed it in perhaps the most graphic way possible. The sight of me closely followed by an enormous wolf had produced the screaming and running away response that I'd expected of her in relation to vampires. Ben was still defiantly stood between me and Jess and as I stepped towards her he repeated his snarl. I took another one and he leapt towards me to try and make me flee. Will moved to his son's side and reassured him that neither I nor the enormous wolf that was now Jake would harm his Mummy. Ben eyed me with suspicion as he leapt up into Will's arms and he kept an eye on us as Jake and I followed them back over to where Jess was standing. Her eyes now matched the size of Dan's.

"Sorry, I forgot Jake hadn't told you."

"Yeah." said Jake. "It wasn't intentional; I've just not been around much to have the opportunity to tell you."

Dan came over. "You're a wolf?" He asked of Jake.

"No, I'm a man. I can just change into a wolf."

"Why?" Jess was staring at Jake.

Jake pulled a bit of a face. "Well, it's sort of redundant in present company, but I protect the local population from vampires."

Dan sniggered. "Epic fail."

Jake turned and grinned at him. "Well it was working just fine until her mother showed up." He pointed at me. "We all knew the rules and we lived by the rules. Bella showed up and…"

"We threw the rule book out the window." Laughed Jasper. "Seems to be par for the course with these Swan women." Jasper eyed me with mischievous affection.

"Is there just you?" Asked Jess she was almost hiding behind Will.

"No, there are twelve of us, one for each vampire in the area and one on maternity leave." Jake scoffed. "Sounds ridiculous, but what else can I call it."

"So does each wolf has a particular vampire they… um… ward off?" Questioned Jess, "If you're supposed to be protecting the population from that one" Jess pointed to me. "You're …doing it wrong." She smiled, relaxing at last.

Jake put his arms around my waist. "Yeah, rule book, Swan women, out the window. But no, we don't have a particular vampire that we _ward off_."

"Good, because it looks like you've got yourself stuck to that one." I smiled as Jess found her sense of fun again. Her smile turned into a giggle and then a full-on guffaw as she darted off across the grass, blonde hair streaming out behind her.

"What's so funny?" Will called.

"Vampires _and_ shape-shifting blokes? I'm off to find the fairies at the bottom of the garden!" She skipped around, caught her heel on a fallen branch she hadn't seen, slipped and fell into Will's arms. Jess gasped. "No matter how many times you do that, it still takes me by surprise that you can."

With the wolf out of the bag, my wolf and I made our way down to the reservation, to a spot on a quiet part of the promontory where those who could change into wolves and their imprinted mates were gathering. Billy, Sue, Jake and Jared were the Quileute tribe leaders and they sat at the head of the semicircle. Kim and I flanked the leaders while around us the rest gathered informally around the campfire. Sue at least acknowledged my existence but she didn't ask about Grampa.

Although Jake had imprinted on me soon after my birth, because I had not reciprocated I hadn't attended a council meeting before now. This was my first time to hear Billy recite the legends of how the Quileute's came to possess the ability to change into wolves and protect the people of the area against vampires. There was more added now, speaking of alliances and special bonds, changing and adapting the original treaty established with Carlisle in the early years of the twentieth century, to encompass the very unique situation that had developed between Jake and me.

It was humbling to think that I was now a small part of this tribe's oral history. In centuries to come, Jake and I would still be spoken of in these council meetings, but would we still be here to take part, or would we be far away and just legends ourselves? Time would tell. I snuggled in Jake's arms and mused at being bound to each other for eternity. As long as he stayed with me or in proximity to vampires he would not age. He too was frozen in time just as I was.

With the sun going down and the business of the council meeting concluded, it was time for the other Quileute's to join us and for a very special announcement to be made. From the direction of the Black's red cabin came Maggie, dressed for the occasion in a beautiful sapphire blue dress. She'd made the effort for the party, but Billy; well he was just Billy. It was either new jeans or old jeans with him. His long straight black hair, greying now at the temples, was swept back into his familiar ponytail. With Billy, what you saw was what you got. With his son however, it was a different matter. As Billy had not imprinted on Maggie she would not be party to the secrets of the tribe and I would not be revealing what I really was to her. Maggie was another reason why Jake and I would most likely not be around Forks and La Push forever.

But with the announcement made and Jake producing a craftily stashed bottle of champagne and two glasses, the tribe toasted the newly engaged couple and the ruby ring that Maggie had chosen was proudly placed on her finger by Billy. I didn't know Maggie very well yet, but she'd clearly gotten off on the right foot with Jake's older sister Rachel, who liked her immensely. Rebecca hadn't been back over from Hawaii yet but had told her sister not to worry about their new stepmother.

Even though Jake and I were together for the council meeting, in the wider group of Quileute's we maintained our distance. In this, the other pack members became my chaperones, giving me someone to stand with all evening, while from across a crowded reservation Jake and I only had eyes for each other. Seth and Anna, Jared and Kim, Emily and Sam, Paul and Rachel all made sure that I was never left on my own, looking out for me and caring for me exactly as they did with Claire and Quil. Occasionally, Jake would come across and talk to whoever I was with, enabling us to share a little time together but then he would be off, taking his leadership responsibilities seriously and speaking to as many people as he could.

On my wrist I wore the Quileute promise bracelet that he had given me for my first Christmas, but I could not help casting glances at Maggie's beautiful engagement ring and wondering at what point I would be able to wear such a ring that Jake and I had picked out together? I hoped he wasn't serious about me waiting until my fifteenth year.

It was nearly midnight when Jake left me back at Grampa's. We had run back from the reservation and checking the coast was clear, entered through my bedroom window. Our goodbyes were protracted, but finally Jake left again. As I watched him turn and wave before he disappeared into the forest at the back of the house, I hoped very much he could not see the excited sparkles in my eyes.

From the bottom of my wardrobe I pulled out a bag from a smart lingerie store in Port Angeles. Sometimes the devious nature of vampires paled into insignificance besides that of humans. With my parents out of the way, tonight's plan had been long in the planning and Jess had been its co-architect.

Jake said he'd see me tomorrow.

Yes he would, it had gone midnight already. It was just that he was going to see me a lot sooner than he thought.

256


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter Thirty Two****: Butterflies**

Fifty minutes later, with the sounds of a specially put together playlist on mp3 player, I snuck too eagerly out of my bedroom window and slunk into the forest, exactly where Jake had disappeared earlier.

His scent was still strong and that served to set up the butterflies in my stomach as I followed his path exactly, back down to the Reservation. The night was warm, the moon was full and the skies were clear and resplendent with a million stars, all bearing witness to my plan.

I ran at full tilt until I came to the edge of the trees that bordered the La Push reservation. I pulled my earphones out. Jess was right; the combination of a few well-chosen tracks had served a great purpose getting me exactly in the mood for what I was about to attempt.

The break of waves on the beach was the only sound as I flitted across the flat ground of the reservation to the red cabin that was my goal. I flattened myself to the wall by Billy's window and darted over to the next window along. I reached out and hooked my index finger under the frame and a wide grin split my face as it lifted - Jake hadn't noticed it was undone. I had been into the cabin earlier to use the bathroom before I went home, going into his tiny room to unlatch the window that was the key to my plan. I could hear him breathing slowly and evenly; he was asleep. I just hoped he was asleep enough not to notice my entrance.

Jake's bed was right under the window and my nerves didn't make for the most elegant or the most soundless entry I was capable of. I bunched myself up on the sill, easing the window closed behind me before springing off to land by his bed.

My own breath caught as I knelt only inches from his face. Now I could see exactly why Dad and Jane had wanted to spend so many nights watching my Mom and Dan sleep, there was such peace in watching the ones that we loved. But I wasn't here for the peace. Jake was beyond beautiful in this relaxed state, bathed in moonlight and lying on his side facing me. He took up more of the bed than I'd anticipated and there wasn't that much room for me, but we'd work around it.

It was a warm night and the thin summer quilt was pushed down to his hips. I watched the rise and fall of his chest with each slow breath, mesmerised at how incredible his skin was. I saw just as well at night as I did in daylight, but I decided in that very instant that Jake was at his sexiest in the moonlight. Acknowledging that sent another rush of butterflies to my stomach and an explosion of desire within me that I could no longer resist. I unbuttoned my shirt, shrugged it off, kicked off my canvas sneakers, pushed off my skirt and balanced myself on the thin sliver of mattress beside Jake.

I was surprised that the noise of my heart thudding didn't wake him up; that, or my ragged breathing when I acknowledged to myself just how little of my plan was left to execute. I'd made it down to the reservation, I'd got into his room and now I was lying in bed next to the man I adored. That bit I could control, the next bit? Well, that depended on Jake.

Jake was all I could think about, _this_ was all I could think about. I'd been planning it for days with Jess's help. She knew how I felt about him, although our conversations in recent days - after she'd found out about Jake's secret - were slightly more to do with whether I thought it was a good idea to be dating a guy who could turn into a wolf. Apparently, dating a vampire ranked low on Jess's list of dangerous boyfriends. Personally, I thought she was over-reacting. She was getting Jake confused with a werewolf and he wasn't one of those. His decision to change was his alone and not dependent on the phases of the moon.

If there was anyone who was dangerous it was me, or rather my mind; which freed from parental oversight had found the nearest gutter and taken up semi-permanent residence in it. I was a girl on a mission to get what she wanted and for that I'd come with ammunition.

Jake slept on and I wondered how long it would take before he became aware of my presence. Would it be my proximity or my scent that woke him? What would be his reaction to finding me here? And what would he think of what I was wearing? With what I had picked out at the lingerie store I wasn't being subtle here, I was going for the jugular in every sense of the word.

With my left hand supporting me and cupped under my head, my right index finger traced swirls over his chest. It was skin I knew as well as my own, but tonight was like touching him for the very first time, it felt electric! 'Want' did not cover things; we were in 'need' territory now. Something made Jake stir and I stopped breathing, my finger poised just a fraction of an inch away from him waiting for him to settle again. He licked his lips and saw the little crease in his brow deepen, something was perplexing him. He wriggled a little and stilled again, lapsing back into the gentle rhythm of sleep.

His breathing once again became even and steady, my fingers returned to his chest, moving lower now, down to his stomach to the point at where his skin stopped and the quilt started. I ran my finger along the edge of it up to his hip, paying particular attention to the upper reaches of the defined 'V' on his abdomen. I exhaled at length and ran my fingers up the side of his body, transferring to his arm and running them down the length of his arm, coming to rest in front of a pair of open brown eyes.

He looked at me, saying nothing.

"Hi." I breathed. His eyebrows rose. "Surprised?" He nodded. I locked my eyes on his and went back to skimming my fingers over his skin. He still said nothing but didn't break his gaze from me. "You're not dreaming. I'm really here." He didn't respond and that irked me a little. I was expecting to either be shooed out of bed or clasped too him, this nothingness was deeply frustrating! "So I guess you're wondering why I'm here?"

"No." He whispered. My face broke into an involuntary wicked grin. I slid closer to him and pressed my lips gently to his, closing my eyes in the relief the contact brought. He returned the lightest of kisses back but he did not respond further. I opened my eyes; his were still fixed on me but not registering the look of desire I knew they were capable of. I could see nothing in them.

With both of our eyes open I kissed him again. There was still nothing. May be this hadn't been such a good idea after all? Maybe Jake didn't want me in the same way I wanted him? All at once I felt very foolish and in very much the wrong place. Perhaps Jake saw that, because he suddenly pulled me into him and wrapped his arms around me.

But nothing came of it. He held me, rubbing his thumb over my shoulder; did he need a hint to what I was after? I decided I needed to spell it out a little more and pressed myself up against him, kissing his throat and arching my back a little under this hands. I moved my lips up to his and he kissed me with a little more enthusiasm, but other than that there still wasn't the response I was looking for. I opened my eyes to find him looking at me with not a trace of passion. I was confused. If I had done this to Ricky he would have responded immediately and there were times when I came to the conclusion it was the only thing Ricky could think about. But I didn't want Ricky, I wanted Jake!

Jess had assured me this was easy; men, vampire or not, needed precious little encouragement. Apparently not Jake though, there was nothing here, not a spark in his eyes and it suddenly galled me why that might be. Even with him being thousands of miles away on an island in the Atlantic, Jake was not going against my father's wishes.

I pulled away, starting to get out of bed and that finally elicited a response from him.

"Where are you going?"

"Home." I snapped, pulling on my shirt.

"Why?"

I scoffed, was he stupid? "You don't want me here!" I hissed.

"I don't remember saying that."

"You didn't use _words_." I pulled up my skirt and scrabbled under his bed for the shoe I'd kicked under there. He propped himself up on an elbow and I had to fight down an urge rip my clothes off again and leap on him, did he have any idea how sexy he was? But I was feeling rejected by Jake and angry that my Dad had managed to exert such control over him.

"Ness, you appeared in my bed in the middle of the night, surely I could be expected to be a little stunned?"

"For a second or two maybe, not a whole ten minutes!" I bent down to tie my shoelaces, smoothed my skirt down and went over to the window.

"Don't go." Agh! It was like he'd spoken in melted chocolate. I must remain focused, this wasn't going to happen and I didn't want to hear how much he respected my parents, I'd heard it already. I was embarrassed, I just wanted to go home and forget the whole thing.

I shook my head. "I'll see you tomorrow." I said in my most businesslike tone. I sprang onto the ledge and pushed the window open. "Night."

"I don't get a chance to explain?" He sat up; his head level with my hip where I was crouched on the ledge.

"What is there to explain? You've already told me why. It sucks that he's not even here to enforce it. We're _finally_ alone and…" I was almost bristling with indignation now.

"This isn't about _your_ Dad." He hissed. "This is about _my_ Dad being the other side of a paper-thin wall and this room being the size of a closet!" He was the one getting antsy now. "Will you get down off the window ledge!" He sighed. "Please Nessie. Don't go."

I looked into eyes I could quite happily drown in. I was here because I wanted to be here, I loved him and squabbling over silly stuff should be beneath two people who were bound together by some mystic force for all eternity. I sprang off the ledge and stood by the side of the bed. He patted the mattress beside him and I sat down. Immediately the familiar arm was around my shoulders gathering me into his side. I was back where I always was. He kissed my forehead and held me tight. I looked up at him and he pulled a slightly embarrassed face.

"Ness; I don't want …" He stopped and wrinkled his nose. "What I'd like is…" He stopped again not able to articulate what he wanted to say. A little smile appeared at the corner of his mouth.

"This is about your Dad being the other side of the wall?"

"Sort of, yes."

"And this room being tiny?"

"Yeah. I was kind of hoping our first time would be in slightly more elegant surroundings, where we… wouldn't be disturbed." Human eyes would not detect it, but I saw his cheeks flush with blood. A grin appeared on my face.

"And we need more room than a bed?"

He laughed silently. "You might bounce off the walls for all I know and …" I knew what he was getting at.

"There's a high turnover of beds in the Cullen house?"

"Precisely! Ness, when it happens and it will, I want to be able to enjoy being with you and," he shrugged, "I can't do that if I have to keep the noise down." He snickered.

"Do you howl?" I chuckled.

He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "You'll just have to find out."

We sat there together in the dark and the quiet, just holding one another.

"Are you going to stay, then?" He asked softly after a few minutes.

"Do you want me too?"

His finger lifted my chin and he kissed me in a way that had me scrabbling for purchase on my sanity. He pulled away a little, his eyes blazed with desire and I struggled not to respond in the way I really wanted to. "Does that answer your question?"

I could only nod in reply.

It took me a second or so to notice that Jake was undoing the buttons of my shirt which confused me, considering what he'd just said.

"Jake?"

"Mmmhmm."

"You're undoing my shirt."

"Yeah."

"I thought we weren't doing this tonight?"

"We're not. "He whispered. "But if you're going to sleep with me you'll need to get undressed."

I smiled and started re-doing the buttons from the top. "Oh I think it would be much better if I slept in my clothes."

"Excuse me? You pitch up in my bedroom wearing _that_ and then expect me to let you keep yourself covered up?"

"Uh huh."

"You're a tease Renesmee Cullen."

"Bite me." I grinned, flashing my teeth at him.

"With pleasure." He said, gently guiding me down onto the bed.

There was a thump and a giggle from next door. My eyes flew open.

"What the?" Came the sleepy voice from behind me, followed by a silent chuckle, which I felt rather than heard as Jake's chest was pressed up against my back. "The sly old goat." He whispered. "So I'm not the only one with company." We lay there still and silent and listened to the sounds of Maggie trying and failing to make a quiet early-morning exit from Billy's room. There were several minutes of whispers and giggles and I was all too aware what Jake meant by the paper-thin walls in the cabin. I glanced at the clock; it was coming up to quarter to six. Although it was Sunday morning I should get back home; I didn't want Grampa looking in on me before he went out fishing and finding me gone.

We heard Billy's bedroom door open and the floorboards creek slightly as Maggie made her way to the door and slipped out into what was a bright, sunny morning.

"I should go too." I murmured unwillingly. I'd enjoyed my night sleeping in Jake's arms and I could get used to it. "I don't want to be missed."

"Yeah." Jake sighed and pulled me closer. "But five more minutes, ok?" He nuzzled my neck and I gave a quiet sigh of contentment and closed my eyes.

I ran through the forest at full speed, my head analysing the last few hours. So it hadn't worked out as I'd planned it, but it had been equally glorious for just being able to spend time with him. There was no doubting how I felt about him this morning. I may not have a 'mission accomplished' status to report back to Jess, but I could report back that I was well and truly 'loved up.' I was thankful that I knew this part of the forest so well, our scents were still faintly present from last night and I was essentially running on autopilot as my head was far more agreeably engaged. So much so, that I nearly ran right into Daniel and Jasper, skidding to a halt almost nose to nose with the latter. He stood on the path, hands clasped behind his back, eyebrows raised and lips pursed.

"Going for an early morning run?"

There was no point trying to get away with it, he could smell that my trail on the path ahead was hours old. I was honest. "Returning from a late night one."

"Oh?"

"We're you looking for me?"

Jasper nodded. "Yes. Well not us, Charlie was." My shoulders drooped; he'd got up even earlier than I'd feared he would. "He was worried about you. And with what I can smell, so am I." He fixed me with a stern look.

"Nothing happened."

"Nessie?" Jasper wasn't convinced of my honesty.

"Nothing happened, go ask Jake!" I bristled a little with indignation at not being believed.

Jasper's face darkened "You spent the night with him?"

Somewhere within me a switch flicked and I was instantly a defensive teen caught doing something she shouldn't, even though she technically hadn't. I folded my arms. "Yeah."

"Your parents are not…"

"… gonna be happy, I know. Spare me the lecture."

Jasper shook his head slowly and looked over at Daniel. "Are all children of a certain age like this with their families?"

"You mean exasperating?" Jasper nodded at Dan. "Yeah, pretty much."

Jasper looked back at me. "Your parents will be back later today, so I'm sure your father will deal with you as he sees fit."

"There's nothing to deal with!"

"He may not see it that way."

"Whatever." I glowered at him, mostly for injuring my lovely mood and souring the wonderful night I'd spent with Jake. "Can I go now?"

Jasper stood aside and gestured up the path. "Be my guest."

I ran onwards back to the house. As I ran I thought about how my night had ended. I shouldn't be mad with Jasper, he was only looking out for me and they all would. Nobody was out to stop me having fun, they just wanted me safe. That's what families did – they looked out for one another and I was all too aware with the disintegrating relationships within my peer group what they wanted to keep me safe from. But it wasn't necessary; Jake was never going to hurt me. Our bonds transcended time and space, they just were there; in the way that gravity was.

As I ran out of the trees I saw Grampa standing at the living room window, watching for me. I smiled sheepishly and decided against climbing back in through my window. I needed to get this over with.

When it all fell apart like it had a habit of doing sometimes, I knew that whatever I would face from now on, that Jake loved me with a passion that would never fade. That fact alone kept me going. I took a deep breath and walked calmly into the house.

7


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter ****Thirty Three: Monsters and Angels**

"Happy Birthday Charlie!" Susie called. She was stood behind a table in the school gym; unpacking dozens of her home made English fruit scones; Jess and I were arranging them on serving plates. I turned to glance at Grampa and was nearly blinded by the gleam of his dress uniform.

"Woah!" I laughed. "Did you fall in a bottle of Wright's silver polish?"

He rolled his eyes. "Don't you start, I've just had Bella laughing at me because this is a little on the snug side." He pulled at his waistband. "She says I'm putting on weight." Charlie reached for one of Susie's fruit scones. "I can't imagine why that would be." He grinned.

"You liked the batch I made for you?" Susie asked.

"Yeah, perhaps a little too much, the diet starts tomorrow." He patted his stomach. "Still you're only fifty once and it's not every day that Forks throws a party in your honour."

Susie laughed. "It's a nice coincidence and saves you the hassle of having to cook for your family. I believe all your son-in-law's family are here? I've just met his Mum, is that right? She's astonishingly well preserved; I thought she must be one of his sisters when she introduced herself." Susie lowered her voice. "She's clearly not short of a bob or two being a Doctor's wife and can obviously afford Botox on a regular basis." I flicked a glance to Jess; she was biting down hard on her lip trying not to laugh.

"Esmé's helping you?" Said Charlie, through a mouthful of scone.

"Yes, she was here when I arrived. She volunteered, said she didn't want to stand around all day when there were things she could do. She's outside bringing in more scones from the car."

"What, there's _more_?" said Jess, horrified. "How many did you make?"

"Four hundred."

"Bloody Norah! When did you do that?"

"I've been baking pretty much every day since we got back from the UK, although you've been out too much to notice."

"And where've you been storing them?"

"All over town. All my friends have stored some in their freezers for me. It's quite an honour for us new people to have been asked to take part in such an anniversary and to contribute something quintessentially English too; a cream tea. Fruit scones, home made strawberry jam and lashings of thick cream. It'll go down a treat with the ballroom dancing this afternoon. Oh here's Esmé with the rest. Good grief, how's she carrying all that lot? She must work out too."

"Esmé's lovely," said Charlie. "As mother-in-law's go, Bella got a good one there."

"Oh she's _nice_." Susie dropped her voice again. "But there's something…" She shuddered. "Unsettling about her."

"Oh?" Queried Charlie.

Susie frowned and shook her head. "I don't know, I can't really articulate it well enough. She's an absolutely _stunning_ woman, don't get me wrong, but I can't help thinking that she leads a secret life as a serial killer."

"Oh my God, _Mum_!" Jess remonstrated. "You can't think that about people! That's Ness's…" Jess's brain tried to pull out the correct lie. "Aunt? Is she your Aunt?" I nodded. "That woman's no more a serial killer than Ness is." Susie wasn't looking, but amused looks passed between Jess, Grampa and me. Esmé arrived, attempting to look laden down with scones.

"Happy Birthday Charlie!" she trilled, placing the scones on the table and kissing him on the cheek. "Fifty!" She smiled warmly at him.

"Ugh, don't remind me."

"Oh come on, you're looking good on it. Oh dear I've gotten lipstick on your cheek there." Esmé wiped it away.

"Don't worry about it; it's the nearest I'll get to lipstick these days."

"Don't say that," said Susie. "The love of your life could quite easily be the very next woman through the door." We all turned and saw Mrs Cope come through the door in the most hideous dress imaginable. Jess snorted with laughter. "Or, perhaps not?" Susie chuckled. "Oh my _God_ what's she wearing, her living room curtains?"

"I've seen cushions with more style." Added Esmé, instantly endearing herself to Susie.

"Red hair and a green print dress, truly tragic. Could it get any worse?" Susie said to Esmé. "I think Esmé and I can manage from hereon in. Don't you girls have to go and get ready or something?"

"Mum we're not on until seven thirty and it's only twenty to three."

"Well it usually takes you hours to get ready."

"We'll go in a bit."

"Oh Charlie?" Esmé asked. "Did Bella tell you our news?"

"About Carlisle's new job in Italy? Yeah, sounds exciting."

"Italy? Very glamorous! " Enthused Susie.

"Not really, a lot of hard work. There's a new clinic opening up and my husband has been invited to head it up."

"In Rome?"

"No, near a small town in Tuscany. Volterra."

Susie shook her head. "Never heard of it."

"No, it's not well known." Grandma looked at me through her lashes. Carlisle had accepted an offer to go and help those vampires who wanted to try our way of life. He had been encouraged by Sulpicia and Athenodora's commitment; they had bought a remote villa and offered Carlisle the opportunity to take the lead on it. This would be our last weekend as a family together before they left.

Forks Anniversary celebration had been split into three parts. The afternoon was going to be a time for the older people; Susie's cream teas and a time to twirl around the floor to a jazz band. Then there would be all the official stuff with dignitaries and speeches, before it got into the evening's entertainment that we were part of. Our band was playing first, after which the school gym would be turned into a club. It had been a long few weeks while Jess healed and tonight she was desperate to get out on a dance floor. Any dance floor would do, even the school gym.

Despite Susie thinking we'd take hours to get ready, Jess and I returned an hour and a half later to find the gym packed with people. The band was playing and in the mix of people dancing I could see Esmé, Carlisle and my parents. I watched them for a moment, catching Dad's eye as he guided Mom around the floor. I wished I could be as graceful as she was.

All my family were here. Jake was with Billy, Maggie, Jane and Grampa. Will was masquerading as a new friend of Jake's and Jane was here in her capacity as my friend from Portland. In another group, Jasper and Alice were stood with Daniel. It was Daniel's first trip into the society of humans since he'd made the change to our way of life and he was very much under the protection of Jasper, Alice and my Dad. He was coping right now but the second any one of them detected a negative change in his mood, his thoughts or his future, he would be ushered out to safety. In the farthest corner of the gym Dan was talking to Ricky and the now quite pregnant Chrissy; although his eyes were constantly flicking towards Jane and hers to him. Even Jess picked it up.

"Did you notice that Dan was looking a little nervous earlier?"

"Can't say I was paying attention." I'd been on Planet Jake.

"What a surprise." Jess grinned. She leaned in very close to me. "I think tonight is bath night for Jane." She was beside herself with amusement.

I chuckled. "And you want to tell me this because?" I guessed, "You want me to hang off the roof above his bedroom window?"

"Got it in one!"

"Jess that's cruel. Perhaps it could be bath night for Will too?" I eyed her suggestively.

"Oh it's always bath night for him these days."

I looked at her stunned. "How come you're not…"

"Injured?"

"Yeah."

"Practice makes perfect!" She winked and giggled.

As my eyes scanned the gym I saw the final little group of our family on the opposite side of the room. Emmett and Rose were being parents to Ben for the day and Rose was in heaven. The opportunity to pass off the beautiful baby boy as her own was worth attending a party she didn't really want to come to. We saw them approaching the table that Susie and Brian were stood behind.

"Oh my goodness!" I could hear the emotion in Jess's voice. "She's doing it now. Come on let's go over, I can't miss this."

When we arrived Susie Taylor was already cooing over the little boy who she had no idea was her grandson. He was seven weeks old now and physically looked like a baby of around a year old. He was sat quietly in Rose's arms. He turned when Jess arrived, but didn't react. Jess was trying to be nonchalant; she coasted up to the table and stole a scone.

"Jessica Mary Taylor put that back!" Sue chastised her daughter and then went back to cooing over the little boy. "I bet you're a very good boy for _your _Mummy." She said in a very sing-song voice. "Is he a good boy?" Susie asked of Rose.

"Oh he's a _darling_, isn't he Emmett?" Rose cuddled Ben. Emmett nodded in a nonplussed way, which struck a chord with Brian.

"I don't really understand all this cooing over babies stuff that women do." Brian said in his brusque northern accent, Dan had his father's mannerisms to a tee. "Most babies look like Winston Churchill."

"Dad, he does _not_ look like Winston Churchill, he's cute!"

"Good grief Jess, did you fall and bang your head?" Commented Susie. "You, admitting a baby is cute? That's a turn up for the books. You usually treat them the same as you would nuclear waste."

"Mum!"

"I'm just saying."

"Well, I'm coming round to the idea of them." Said Jess, her unease was almost tangible.

"Well don't come round to the idea of them too soon, please. As much as I can't wait to be a Grandma, I don't want to be one _just_ yet, thank you very much. So are you having a dance, or are you too young for this type of thing?" She asked of Rose.

"Oh no, I love to dance, but babies don't make good dance partners."

"I'll hold him for a bit if you'd like?"

"Would you?" Rose's eyes flicked to Jess. "Perhaps you'd like to hold him? He's not nuclear waste."

Jess shook her head. "No, let my Mum hold him." Jess's voice was suddenly sounding strangled. In her line of sight at the far end of the room appeared Will, with Jake at his side. I could see on his face that if he could be there for Jess he would be.

Rose handed Ben over the table to his Grandma.

"Good grief, he weighs a tonne! He's going to take after his Daddy in the build department. What's his name?"

"Ben."

"Good! A nice, sensible name for once. Hello Ben, I'm Susie and you're going to stay with me for a few minutes while Mummy and Daddy go off and have a dance." Ben looked at his Grandma with interest. He knew who she was and he also knew that replying was something he absolutely mustn't do.

Rose and Emmett went out onto the dance floor; Will and Jake walked towards us, but still maintained a discreet distance. Susie bounced Ben in her arms. "What have they been feeding this child on, lead? He's solid Brian, feel the weight of him."

"I'll take your word for it. Funny, but he reminds me of Dan as a baby. He's got a similar little wrinkle on his forehead like he had." Jess's eyes flashed a worried glance to me; I took hold of her hand to steady her. There was no way they were going to ever work out that Jess was his mother, it wasn't mathematically possible for her to have given birth to him - that was our clearest line of defence. Ben studied his Grandad with a degree of seriousness. "He's taking it all in is this little lad." Brian continued. "Intelligent… gosh, _piercing _blue eyes. They almost…" Brian tailed off, shaking his head as if something worrying had occurred to him. I searched the dance floor for Dad; I needed reassurance that Brian wasn't making the connection and found it with a small shake of his head. I whispered to Jess that things were fine.

"Thanks." She murmured.

"Oof! I don't think I can hold him for much longer, he's _really_ heavy. Can you take him for a bit Brian?"

"I'll hold him." Said Jess, quickly.

"You'll never manage him, he's heavy."

"I'm not that weak! I'll be ok for a few minutes. Give him here Mum." Susie handed Ben over to Jess who tried to make it look like she hadn't held a baby before. Ben remained passive and quiet, reacting to no one as his parents but Rose and Emmett. "Ness and I'll take him for a wander for a few minutes, we'll just be down at the back, I think there are some seats there."

Jess and I made our way to the back of the gym and sat down on a couple of chairs. Jess took one that put her back to the world and away from the glare of the public Ben reanimated himself and buried himself in her hair. Jess's arms folded protectively over him. It was then that I noticed the glistening teardrops in her eyes.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. I knew exactly why she was in tears.

"That was it wasn't it? That was the only contact they are ever going to have with him?" I nodded. "And he's the only grandchild they're ever going to have! It's so cruel that I can't tell them who he really is, or let them spend time and get to know how wonderful he is."

"Excuse me, Ness? May we sit down here?" Jake appeared with Will, both of them holding plates with a scones, jam and cream on them.

"Yes, of course." I replied. They sat next to us. Will facing Jess and Jake facing me, a respectful distance apart.

Jake and I knew each other of course, but there were introductions to be made.

"This is a friend of mine, Will Randall. Will this Chief Swan's…

"Niece…" I supplied the simple explanation.

"Niece and this." He gestured to Jess. "Is her friend Jess Taylor."

Will said 'hi' to both of us. Now we were introduced and even if nobody outside our immediate circle knew who we really were to one another, we could at least talk in public.

Will appraised Ben, sat on Jess's lap. "Hey, that's a cute baby. Is he yours?"

"No I'm borrowing him." Jess's face had lit up and on her lap Ben's had too as the secret little family had this private moment in a very public place. "What are you doing with that?" She hissed through her teeth, nodding at the scone.

"It gave me the opportunity to meet Susie and Brian Taylor there." Will replied, nodding towards the table where Jess's parents were stood.

Jess's shoulders drooped. "And I can't show _you_ off to them either. This is so cruel." Jess looked unbelievably sad and then she scoffed a laugh. "Although I will laugh like a drain if you eat that. Go on, I dare ya."

Will cut the scone in half; spread it with jam and cream before taking a bite and chewing it, accompanied by the covert sniggering of Jess.

"That's just a waste of good food." Laughed Jake, "I could've eaten that."

Ben was looking at his father, completely stunned. Will broke a bit off and handed it to him. "You want some, kid?"

Jake sounded a note of caution. "I don't think it's a good idea to be feeding cake to other people's kids. People get a little prissy about that, allergies and stuff."

"Good point." He put the piece in his own mouth.

"Bizarre." muttered Jess. "It just looks so wrong."

Grampa came over and almost threw himself into a chair beside me.

"Ach! Spare me the social niceties of office."

"Tough afternoon?" I asked.

"Yeah. Everybody has an opinion about the Forks Police Department and the job we're doing. I need a sit down."

"Where's Jane?" I asked.

"Oh, I've left her talking to some boy she met on the beach at spring break."

"Would this boy happen to be Jess's twin brother?" I smiled. It hadn't taken them long to hook up.

"Funny you should say that. Oh hell, Margaret's found me. Hide me." He sighed.

"Who is she?" Asked Jess.

"One of the Deacons at Forks Baptist Church. She wants to introduce me to their new Pastor. Let's hope I have better luck with this one." Grampa stood up. "Margaret." He addressed the small, efficient-looking woman who bustled up.

"Chief Swan, may I introduce the Reverend…" She looked round to find no one there. "Oh where's she gone?" Margaret walked back into to crowd and emerged again a few seconds later with a woman following her. Margaret tried again. "Chief Swan, may I introduce the Reverend Scott. Reverend Scott, this is Charlie Swan, Forks Chief of Police."

The woman held out her hand. "It's just Heather, forget the Reverend Scott bit. Please to meet you. Can I call you Charlie?"

"Um… Yeah." I was not the only one stood with my mouth open as Grampa shook hands with my San Francisco saviour. It wasn't just us either. Alice appeared to our left and Dad appeared to our right, both of them focussed intently on Heather. Grampa seemed to be struggling to get his words out. "This is… my… niece…" He gestured to me.

"Ness!" Heather remembered me. I grasped her offered right hand and she covered it with her left. "I am _so pleased_ to see you! You got home ok then?"

I nodded and smiled. "I did, thank you for your help."

"I did nothing." Her smile was as warm and as dazzling as the sun-lit Caribbean Sea. "And did it all work out?"

I nodded. "It did. Not as I expected it would though, but it did."

"It rarely does, but I'm glad to hear it." And she looked it.

"You two know each other?" Margaret was stunned.

"We do, a little," replied Heather.

"I got lost one day and Heather gave me directions." I supplied, not elaborating further. That was all I needed to say.

"Oh well you'll be able to get to know each other better, Heather is the new Pastor of our church." Margaret beamed, clearly very happy with the new appointment. Heather however, was intently focused on my Grampa again. I wasn't surprised that it drew my parents in closer. Alice too was edging forward, the look on her face was of absolute incredulity. I glanced at Mom; she beckoned me over.

"Something's going on." Mom whispered urgently when I reached her. "Alice's head went crazy. I wouldn't ask you in such a public place, but I need to see for myself." I looked at Dad; he nodded and moved closer to me. As covertly as I could, I placed my right hand on Mom's cheek and then slid my left up to his.

"Don't say anything." He said, just before my hand connected with his skin. He fixed me with a steady look as my mind was filled with the image he had seen in Alice's mind. I converted it into my memory and Mom gave the tiniest gasp as she received it. Both of us looked at her.

"Married! They're getting married! It's so certain, after one meeting?"

"It's solid, absolutely certain." added Dad. "But can you see…"

"Yes, I see it!" Mom breathed. "The flickering around her, what is it?"

Both of us turned to him, Dad's eyebrows raised. "Best guess? Angel or part angel." I scoffed. I'd thought the same thing for a moment in San Francisco but had dismissed it as completely far fetched. "I can't be one hundred percent certain, but I think your instinct was correct, Nessie. I've not seen one before, but Carlisle may have a better idea."

I dropped my hands from them both, the three of us stood in a tight group, oblivious to the mass of people waltzing around the floor behind us.

"Edward, are you serious? My Dad is going to fall in love with an angel?"

"No, he already _has _fallen in love, with somebody who… Well, I don't know exactly what she is, but I suspect there's angel in there somewhere."

"My Dad's fallen in love _already_? He just _met_ her, she's a stranger!" Dad looked at Mom in a curious, almost amused way. "Ok, fair point." She laughed. "I kind of fell for you quite quickly." We surreptitiously turned around to look at Heather and Grampa who were utterly engrossed in one another.

Stranger? I remembered the first part of what Melanie had said at the wedding; 'you will fall in love with a blonde stranger…'

"Oh my goodness." I said, quietly. "The first bit was for him." I laughed. Melanie was completely right after all, she'd just said that bit to the wrong person.

"Indeed," added Dad. "That's one mystery solved."

"And a whole new one opens up." Sighed Mom. "What is it with this place?" She shook her head, grinning. "Does it attract all mythical creatures? Should I be on the look out for centaurs next?"

Alice flitted over. "I can't believe this! Here, in Forks. Edward do you think she is?"

"Not sure, either full or part, but definitely not entirely human, the flickering was a give-away."

"A human/angel hybrid?" I mused.

"A nephilim!" said Alice, as if describing the most interesting thing on the planet. "A real, live nephilim in Forks!" Alice was almost bouncing.

"My Dad's fallen in love with an angel." Mom was still slightly bewildered.

"Well he already does vampires and wolves so an angel's not really that much of a stretch." She added quietly, but nonchalantly.

Mom grinned and shook her head. "Is she going to tell him or am I?"

"Maybe we should get Jake to weave it into the Quileute legends." I offered, thinking of the way she'd found out about Dad. Mom laughed out loud.

"That would be fitting." And then her face turned serious and she grabbed Alice's arm. "But the marriage?" She asked quietly.

Alice's face was serious too. "It's as clear and as certain as yours was to Edward, once you'd both stopped dancing around it."

"So she's going to be my new Stepmother? My Stepmother is possibly an Angel?"

"Just be thankful she's not an alien." Alice grinned. "That made for a really lousy movie. l'll go and tell the others!"

As gigs went, the one we played that night at the Forks Anniversary was probably the strangest for Jess, Dan and I. Nothing better illustrated the reality of the lives than our audience. As we prepared to start, the three of us cast a glance over the packed gym. Dotted throughout were those we loved and those whom we loved that had to remain a secret from other people that we loved. Each of us was in a relationship that could not be admitted to the public at large.

Dan could never admit that the young teenage girl who had gone to help his mother clear up the last few scones that Jake hadn't eaten; was, in fact, the girl he was engaged to marry. Nearby; Rose and Emmett, with Emmett holding Ben, were talking cars with Jake, his friend Will and Brian Taylor. Brian would never know he was talking to vampires, a man who could change into a wolf and being stared at by a baby who was a human/vampire hybrid and his own grandson. Jess could never admit that she would marry the man stood next to her father and that her life hung in the balance for most of the time that her parents were in the UK. Jess and Dan were keeping this part of their lives secret and after the scare of the summer, had decided that there was no rush. They wouldn't even think about exiting their human lives until well after they graduated school.

My own relationship could be made public in time, but not right now, but there was no rush on that score either. Just for tonight the three of us would enjoy playing for our loved ones. In my head I told Dad to tell Mom that I was singing for both of them. I wanted them to know how much I loved them and was so thankful that despite everything that had happened, I was grateful that they'd let me have this year.

The last few weeks had settled into a sort of normality, until a little while ago when Grampa had apparently fallen in love with an angel. What was it Jasper had said about the Swan family? It was a case of throw out the rule book out with us? Looks like Grampa was not exempt from that, either. He was now the central human hub around which rotated a whole lot of weird.

And what about Forks Baptist Church? I knew they were looking for someone slightly closer to God, than the man who had let them down so spectacularly earlier this year, but an angel? How would they cope with that? Did she have a hotline to heaven? That thought made a wide grin split my face as Ricky struck his drumsticks together and counted us in.

Later, Jess came out from behind her keyboards and took my place at the microphone. Dan and I both pulled on acoustic guitars and Zak knew enough keyboards to be able to take over from Jess for this. It was our last song of the night and Jess was going to sing it. With the spotlight in her face she couldn't see Ben over to the left, but I could. Will had moved to the right of Emmett to stand by his son. For Jess there was no-one else in the room right at this moment, other than the man she loved and their son. This song was for them and they knew it. Dan and I struck up the rhythm and Jess sang.

_Today I saw an angel he was smaller than I'd hoped for_

_Would've recognised him sooner had there been a shining light_

_Or white wings and a halo like you see in all the movies_

_But heaven has a way of sometimes sneaking up on you._

_And all eternity was wrapped up in his smile,_

_He whispered with his eyes, everything's fine, just fine._

_The lights had turned to red and I was safe in my defences,_

_Couldn't see his kindness coming for the nonsense in my head._

_A devastating moment in a language far from spoken,_

_He looked deep in my soul and then he stole away my heart._

_And all eternity was wrapped up in his smile,_

_He whispered with his eyes, everything's fine, just fine._

_Happy is the heart that finds a way to overcome_

_Despite a world that turns you upside down_

_You can shout louder now, you can sing louder now_

_Everything's fine, just fine._

_Everything's fine, just fine._

Although the song had been chosen well in advance and Dan couldn't possibly have known what today would bring, it made me smile that we were singing about angels. But for Jess, the only angel was the little boy in Emmett's arms and that was all that was important tonight.

Done for the night, Ricky, Zak, Dan, Jess and I jumped off stage into a crowd of our classmates all high-fiving us. It was finally party time and we were in the mood to celebrate. Ricky threw an arm around me and his other around Dan. Dan did the same to Zak, Zak to Jess and the five of us pulled together in a group hug as Davey, left in charge of the sound system for the night, dialled up the volume to a point where the Police would have been called, if the Police weren't already here. Our band hug was broken up by an emotional Susie Taylor throwing off Zak's arm and clasping her daughter to her as if she might drown.

"Oh I'm so ridiculously and unbelievably proud of you!" She yelled at Jess above the track. "That was amazing, it made me cry!"

Jess was happy but obviously emotional. "Thanks Mum!"

Susie turned to me; Davey had already been told to turn it down, so Susie didn't need to bellow quiet so loudly. "Ness, I'm sure that if your parents were here today, that they would be ridiculously proud of you too and I'm so sorry that they're not. You're doing brilliantly!" She reached out to me and took my hand, eyes conveying sadness at my still recent loss.

I nodded and smiled. "Thank you Susie."

Suddenly Dad and Mom were there. "Ness?" Dad said. "I know that Bella and I are no substitute, but, if it's OK, we would like to offer to be ridiculously proud of you on their behalf."

I couldn't look at either one of them, I fought back an urge to run into them and bawl like a little girl. Mom seemed to sense that, because she stepped forward and as much as could be demonstrated in public she hugged me. Dad placed a hand on my back. I broke away whispering 'thank you, I love you.'

I stepped back and behind Mom was Emmett; Ben hoisted high on his shoulder. "All his family would like to do the ridiculously proud bit, even Ben here. He really liked that last song."

Jess grabbed my hand and squeaked a garbled "That's it, I'm going to cry."

"You know what Edward?" added Emmett. "For a Masen, your cousin turned out just fine. Are you sure she's really related to you, because I doubt that?" He elbowed his brother in the ribs.

"I think we have DNA proof." Dad retorted.

"And you both have the same colour hair!" Laughed Susie in a girlish, silly way, Jess groaned. "Actually, there is something Charlie said I must ask you." I looked at Susie, she was blushingly fiercely.

"Ask him what?" Jess was suddenly alert and looking a little appalled that her Mum was visibly attracted to my Dad. Jess span round and with eyes like saucers, mouthed _'look at her_!" back at me, a wide grin splitting her face.

"Well..um… Obviously… um."

"Spit it out." Said Jess, chuckling.

"I don't know if you know, but we went to the UK this summer..."

"Oh no, he doesn't need to know all that rubbish Mum, just cut to the chase."

"Well basically… um… We'd like to ask permission to take Ness to Britain for Christmas. If that's alright with you?"

"Britain for Christmas? We've not talked about this?" Jess was indignant.

"Your Dad and I have just decided it today. We're going to book the tickets soon and thought that as you two are inseparable, that Ness might like to come too? Have you been to Britain before Ness?"

I shook my head, but it was another lie. I had, I'd been to London.

Jess scratched her head. "But you… can't just." She tailed off suddenly unsure of what to say. She had other things to think about than disappearing off to Britain for Christmas.

"If Ness would like to go to Britain for Christmas, then that is fine with us."

"Thank you." I said.

"So that's settled then. You're having Christmas in Cumbria!" Susie clapped her hands together. "Right, I think it's time to have a bit of a dance. Do you fancy a dance Edward?" Susie simpered. Jess splatted her hand over her face at her Mum's very obvious fawning and behind her Dan sniggered.

"I am _so _sorry." Jess said under her breath. "Ignore her, she'll go away."

Dad made his excuses to Susie and he and Mom melted back into the crowd.

Emmett announced that it was time that he and Rose got little Ben to bed and a few minutes later, several members of the Cullen family were guarding Jess and Will as they said a private goodnight to their son, outside.

Back in the gym, the party was in full swing. Jess and I gravitated to the centre, to where Jane and Dan had managed hide in the crowd. We were surrounded by our human friends and for this moment we were fully immersed in our human world. I let myself go with the music, enjoying the freedom of knowing that just for now, like the lyrics of the song, everything was fine. Well, there was the slight worry about Grampa, but I wouldn't let that concern me tonight. Besides, Angel's were good, right? It wasn't as if he was striking up a relationship with a monster. Heather had helped me and she was just the sort of bright, lively person Grampa had once told me he wanted in his life. He'd been badly treated by Sue and he deserved a bit of happiness. I glanced over to where he was stood. Heather was talking to another group of people a short distance away but they kept glancing over at one another. There was no mistaking the sparkle and life in his eyes, a sparkle I had not realised was missing. I smiled and danced on.

Jess flung herself about in a less than co-ordinated way, but she didn't care one iota. She was glad to be alive, glad that it had all worked out and glad that after several weeks of being taped up, her ribs had now healed enough for her to jump and dance about. She was making the most of it. A short distance away Alice, the most dance-music keen member of my family had joined Dan and Jane. Alice and Dan had discovered a shared love of electronic music and Jasper was thankful that he didn't need to be the one on the dance floor anymore. He enjoyed a more sedate way of dancing, with his wife in his arms, not gyrating in front of him.

A little while later, Jess leaned in to whisper to me. "For an old guy, he can dance really well."

"Who, Carlisle?" I whispered back.

"No, Edward." She nodded over my shoulder and I turned around to see my parents dancing together a little way away.

"Ach! That's my cue to leave!" I grinned and the mock horror in my head drew a grin from Dad. There were some things that just weren't right in this world and your hundred and fourteen year old father dancing to Lady Gaga was one of them.

Jess followed me off the dance floor and the pair of us crashed through the double doors of the gym, out into the corridor and straight into our History teacher, Miss Chambers. Even in jeans and a t-shirt she looked straight off the catwalk. She was long, lean and a devastatingly efficient teacher.

"Ah Jess, I'm glad I've caught you. How are you doing with reading up on the Civil War?"

"Uh?" Came the confused reply.

"Have you forgotten? I suggested it might be helpful for you to fill in the blanks in your knowledge of American history this summer?"

"Oh, right. It's been a bit of a busy time. I forgot, sorry."

"I understand. I know you've had other things on your mind." From the end of the corridor I saw Daniel watching us. "Never mind, you'll have to pick up as best you can this semester. I look forward to seeing you both on Monday!" And with that she left us and headed back into the gym.

"Ugh! Reality crashes back in. I knew there was something I'd forgotten to do." Jess grumbled.

We walked on to the end of the corridor. Daniel was looking unsettled.

"Hey, are you ok?" I asked, concerned that his control may be weakening.

He nodded. "I'm ok, just a little… confused."

"Welcome to my world," laughed Jess.

"What's the matter?" I regarded Daniel as very much my brother now.

"It's nothing." He shook his head sadly.

Jess however had inkling. "Hmm… It's Miss Chambers isn't it? She's not bad, quite pretty really."

Daniel reluctantly nodded his head. "I was just stood here and she said hello to me. It's been so long since anyone human even acknowledged me." I recognised a familiar look, a look I'd seen on Jane's face. "It's hopeless." He added, sadly.

Daniel looked shocked and slightly angry that I laughed in the face of his distress and I tempered it by smiling warmly at him. "Don't you know by now that the Cullen family doesn't do hopeless when it comes to… challenging relationships? You live with the experts. If you want to find a way, then there are five people you can call on for advice."

"Yeah, but Miss Chambers though. That's going to be awkward!" Snorted Jess.

I was suddenly struck by a truth; that if it was meant to be then it would work out. "Go for it Daniel. Her name's Stephanie and I think she lives in Port Angeles."

"Thanks, although perhaps I'll work on the not wanting to kill her first, yes?"

"That's possibly a good thing." I smiled.

Mr Newton almost wrenched the outside door off its hinges. "Have you seen Steph… er Miss Chambers?" He asked. He looked flushed and somewhat excited.

"Yeah." Jess, pointed down the corridor. "She went into the gym."

"Thanks." He hurried after her.

"Why do you want her?" She asked I saw the twinkle in her eye; she was playing devil's advocate.

"I've just heard she's split up with her boyfriend, I think it could be my lucky night!" He grinned, pulled open the door of the gym and disappeared inside.

"Or not." Jess added in a singsong tone. "Oh dear; don't tell me history is repeating itself? He's interested in a girl that a Cullen is interested in? I think we all know how that one works out." Jess cackled and looked at Daniel. "That's your competition. Now seek and for God's sake, this time, destroy. You have my permission to eat that one." She chuckled. "Come on Ness, let's go."

Outside it was warm; though it was overcast the heat was still very much in the day. Even out here, the music from the gym was clearly audible. We rounded the corner and walked back across the school yard.

Here we were again, just the two of us, almost a year on from our first meeting. The secrets that I had arrived at school with were now very much Jess's secrets and in return I now kept hers firmly locked away from the outside world. As we walked, I linked my arm through hers.

"You know? If someone had told me this time last year, that two days from now I would meet a girl that would completely change my life, I would have told them to bog off." Said Jess.

"Bog off?"

"Bog off. You'll need to know that phrase if you're coming to Cumbria for Christmas." She smiled. "You'll get to meet all my old friends, meet Drama Queen Gem and Freakosaurus; that's Fiona. See the boring sights of Grasmere and joy of joys, no doubt get preached at by my Grandma, whoopee-do! She'll be banging on about her eternal life crap _ad nauseum_, so I'll apologise for her in advance."

"She's a Christian?"

"Oh big time, with bells on. She'd freak if she knew about me and Dan. Probably have us both exorcised."

I laughed. "I think I can cope with a drama queen and a crazy Christian. Speaking of crazy Christians, I have something to tell you… when we're alone."

"Cool… ok." Jess replied, nonchalantly. I wonder how she'd react to the suspicions about Heather?

We walked past the various school buildings and approached the school office, where we'd first met.

"So what are you doing tomorrow?" I asked. Ahead of us in the parking lot, Jake and Will were stood by Jake's truck, talking.

"Oh." She sighed. "I think I'd better make a start on studying the Civil War… All six foot four of him." I looked at her and she grinned. "Well, what's better than getting it first hand? I don't need to read a book, he can tell me about it."

"True!"

"And I'm sure there's some studying that needs to be done on the Native American tribes of the Pacific northwest?"

"Oh yeah, there's an entire thesis to study on that." I agreed, smiling wryly.

Jess tutted, nodding at Jake. "The dust jacket's fallen off your text book again; you're going to need to put some _sellotape_ on that." The pair of us fell about laughing at Jess's comment about Jake being shirtless, yet again. "Does he _ever_ wear a full set of clothes?" She asked quietly.

I shook my head. "Not if he can help it."

"Not that you're complaining, either."

I smiled, looking over at my gorgeous man. "No."

"It's been an odd sort of a year." Jess mused, as we neared our cars. We wouldn't speak to Jake and Will; to the outside world we gave the appearance that we didn't know them that well. I've gone from being in love with a vampire to… well, being in love with a vampire, so no change there then."

"At least this one's real." I said.

"What about you?" What's your year been like?"

"Tough at times." I said; I couldn't lie. "But I have a friend and that's all I really wanted out of this year, a best friend." I was still only a little girl of six when all was said and done.

Jess stopped walking, turned to me and hugged me tightly. She pulled back and fixed me with the steady gaze of her mesmerising blue eyes. "Do you promise to be my best friend forever? And proper forever mind; not the _fall-out-in-five centuries_ forever?"

I smiled at her, this wonderful girl who had completely turned my life upside down in a good way. I looked at her now rainbow clothes, so different to a year ago. I looked at the things that hadn't changed; her poker-straight blonde hair, her blue eyes that ensnared vampires and sparkly body-creamed skin.

"Yes, Jess Taylor, I promise to be your best friend, _forever_."

"Even when I'm all… red eyed and scary?"

"You mean tomorrow morning? Sure." We laughed. "Of course, especially then."

"Even if I… slip up?"

"_Especially_ if you slip up."

"Thank you." Jess grabbed my hand and squeezed. I squeezed it right back.

"Aaarrgh! Behave woman!" She shook her hand out where I'd squeezed it a little too hard. "So, best friends forever, right?"

"Best friends, forever." I assured her.

"Good. 'Cause for that, it's your turn to buy the chocolate at Fredericks."

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

I really hope you've enjoyed reading Aurora. This is the first thing I've written and it would be wonderful if you could give me some feedback on what you thought of it. I've had a fabulous time writing it, so much so that I shall be back in December with a new Aurora story, mark me with an Author Alert and look out for 'Aurora: The Gift.'

_Catch you soon!_

**Rachel xx**

**Follow me on Twitter: **Rachel_J_Lewis

**Find me on Facebook: **racheljlewiswriter


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